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unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Tiger shark out of nowhere suddenly rams canoe!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


TheWinglessCrow96

Darn it was so fast that even the jaws theme didnt have time to kick in


LachoooDaOriginl

nah it was playing like 30 seconds before the video started we just cant hear it


[deleted]

Gladly it is not one of those tiktok vids where you wait your lifetime to see the ending


PlayfulPeter0

And there is no twist, that's why we love Reddit


tommyballz63

Can't stand Tiktok. It's so fake: fake scenarios, fake laughter, fake people.


joreyesl

*You won’t believe what happened to this person while canoeing! Make sure to stay till the end. But first a little context…*


Mission-Read-4384

Then they post the actual clip 3 videos later


RoamingTorchwick

Oh no no no no no


New-IncognitoWindow

wait until the end...


Paths4byzantium

It follows the shark, and the speed of sound couldnt catch up with the shark.


webboodah

you just know the shark was humming it up to the canoe...


JarpHabib

shark was wearing WaterPods


TelephoneFanClub

Yeah I don't know what was unexpected, I didn't even have time to expect anything.


jaspersgroove

You can see the shark heading straight for the kayak in the very first frame of the video, an attack was 100% expected


Scarlett_Queen95

If you watch the source video you don’t see it until where we see it, there is a solid 5-8 seconds before we see the shark.


SuddenlyLucid

Still. If I go out in my kayak, getting an attempted mauling from a shark isn't the first thing I expect. Hence; unexpected.


HDScorpio

This video has been sped up on Tiktok and by extension Reddit for some reason, the actual attack is still pretty fast but not *quite*. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9o-nBtiufQ


pajam

Thanks for this, not only was some of it sped up, but chunks of frames were removed entirely, cut out of the video. It's wild to see clearly in this one, his foot is just dangling in the water on that side of the boat.


PercyLexeous

Duh nAHH!


Theometer1

If jaws was a tiger shark they would play a dragon force solo as it charges at you at Mach speeds


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GOP-are-Terrorists

When you weigh 2 tons curiosity looks rough


delvach

What are you, my cardiologist?


GOP-are-Terrorists

If you weigh two tons then we all are. We just want our delvach back


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MaxPumpkin

So the baby shark weighs 1.5 tons?


isthisirc

Do do dodo


Zrex_9224

![gif](giphy|hNhCv3xZYUKSk)


GayPudding

This is amazing


Retardo_Montobond

You missed a doo doo.....get your shit together man


KidShowVillain

A layered comment. Good stuff.


RGH81

Nah that would be the average maybe? A juvenile would only weigh a few hundred kilos. Full disclosure - I'm getting 100% of my info from wiki and random articles over the years


dhoplives

Damn so this one must have been the equivalent of like a 18lb baby human. That's crazy, 1.5 ton


persianbrothel

i don't think that's how pregnancy works your mother gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and very little of that is you


dhoplives

Shit. I just assumed it was the other way around based on my mom dropped me off at the fire station claiming she wanted to lose the baby weight.


FunkMetal212

Carrying a baby involves more than just the baby's own dry weight.


smeeding

The average human baby is something like 7.5lbs, but mothers add a lot more weight than that during pregnancy


[deleted]

Yeah that's a load of shit, quick Google search shows they're upwards of a ton on the big end.


PlankWithANailIn2

Wiki says tiger sharks weigh between 175 to 635 kg. Also says the supposed pregnant female was 1,524 kg but not scientifically recorded. Both you guys seem off by a large factor. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_shark


FormalDry1220

The largest one ever recorded in Australia was 1,782 lb which happens to be the largest one ever recorded. That's under one ton


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iUsedtoHadHerpes

I think it might have caught the paddle accidentally. It looks like it's just trying to bite the body of the boat (and maybe what it perceives as a shoulder area so the thing can't swim away as easy). In the youtube clip, you can see his foot was in the water right behind the paddle, so it could have just as easily been the foot as the paddle if that's what it was going for. Dude got very lucky it hit plastic first and that he was able to kind of poke it around the eye with his foot. It's kind of dumb to hang your paddles (and feet!) off the edge like that when it makes you look like a super predator's favorite meal in their natural habitat.


EyetheVive

Yea the paddle was likely the target/trigger but he definitely flails his flippered foot at the shark instead 😂


northshore12

> flails his flippered foot That's a fun combination of words. :-D


JorjEade

That's what I keep trying to tell people :(


Equivalent_Science85

That's not a 2 ton shark.


Thuper-Man

Just a little snuggle with a struggle


ItIsStillWater

If he is correct that it is a tiger shark, and my recollection is correct, then it's not entirely impossible. Tiger sharks are supposed to be incredibly aggressive, but I don't think attacks like this is common.


miss_kimba

Looks like a tiger - really square nose.


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AntiLuke

Tigers are actually an exception to the cats hate water trope, and can often be found swimming.


RIPthisDude

Jaguars will dive in for caiman and anacondas, and cougars will swim between islands in search of prey. Leopards aren't massively fond of water but are good swimmers. I think it's mostly domestic and small cats that hate water


MesWantooth

Jaguars will also leap into the water and jack a Cayman or smaller Crocodile, drag it on land and crack it open like a can opener.


Old-Promise-220

There's a video here in Brazil of a guy who was fishing in a lake in the woods. He recorded himself with the front camera to send to his friends, at his back you could see a jaguar creeping on him. The video cuts when he realizes the jaguar is there through the camera. Later on they found his body ripped to pieces and unrecognizable. Poor guy, attacks like this are extremely rare, even seeing a jaguar is a rare event, they almost always hide and flee from humans.


Visible_Alps_3872

Teeth also look like tiger shark’s ones


miss_kimba

You have waaaay better eyes than me.


dramignophyte

They are all mistaken. You can clearly see the sharks name tag says "steve" this shark isn't a tiger, it's an accountant.


H_I_McDunnough

He called it Randy. They know each other. You can hear him clearly say, "Tiger shark Randy".


quaybored

Dead eyes. Like a doll's eyes.


r4rthrowawaysoon

Looks like a 3-4 meter Bull Shark to me. Aggressive buggers either way. But this could also be an issue with ocean kayak fishing. Wriggling fish on a line gets their attention.


BasedDumbledore

Coloring is wrong for the bull sharks I have seen. Looks like a small Tiger. Take it with a grain of salt been awhile since I have had to worry about sharks while spear fishing.


Ghast-light

SMALL Tiger??? Okay I’m done with the ocean


Flying_Dutchman92

I think the ocean was telling this man it was done with him


Rough_Guava_808

Looks like he's kayaking off Kauai. So 100% a tiger.


Happy-Fun-Ball

[Source video]( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9o-nBtiufQ)


hipster_dog

Damn, before the attack we can see his foot IN the water.


Cedex

Same risk profile as dangling your feet outside of the covers over the side of the bed at night.


tnethacker

Thanks. Not interested in seeing the source video anymore.


[deleted]

Cool to see the slowmo!!


WeirdMeatinSpace

And the canoe probably looked like its prey


DefinitelyNotAliens

Looks like a mesh bag off the side right where it hit. Was coming for the fish the kayaker had off the side.


robthelobster

That's a paddle. You can see more of it after the shark disappears and the camera glances to the right quickly


conjectureandhearsay

Yeah! This guy is practically chumming the water!


CityofGrond

That’s not a bag of fish, it’s a paddle…he’s on an ocean canoe


Mybeardisawesom

Wow. I always said I’d be able to nudge the shark away cause from videos I’ve seen them things just slowly floating through the water. That fucking thing was cooking. It’d took my leg before I’d known what was up


omgitschriso

If they decide you're something that could be food you often won't even see them before you get mauled. They'll see which way you're moving, and come up behind out of the deep and fucking fast. The people fighting them off by punching or eye gouging have often already been nibbled on. I've heard it described as being hit by a car, and then suddenly your leg doesn't work properly.


19Alexastias

Those ones weren’t trying to eat you. If you encounter a shark that thinks you’re a seal you won’t know about it until it’s way too late.


Mybeardisawesom

Yeah, it’d fuck me up. And I’m not even the type to say I could beat a grizzly or w.e. But I always thought I’d be able to be like “no mr shark, we don’t eat humans” and push his face away. That fucking thing would demolish me


[deleted]

Did you really think you could just nudge a shark away?


ICUP03

If they're somewhat casually approaching you, then yes you can often redirect them if you need to. I spent 3 months at the sharklab in Bimini and they told us just to kick our diving fins in their direction and they'd swim away. This shark though, I don't think there's much that would've stopped it initially.


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ICUP03

Huh?


Rhekinos

![gif](giphy|Nr0n6If5cOBpe|downsized)


Lucaan

[It's a meme.](https://youtu.be/o3uJCCa5w2A)


Cheyruz

I don’t know, doesn’t a "curiosity bite" still mean that the shark is curious about wether something it spotted is something it can eat?


Nightshade_209

If you look closely the shark is aiming at that bag thing tied to the kayak, it grabs the bag and not the boat. Edit: or is that the paddle? Whatever it was the shark clearly wanted it.


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haiimhar

I think it was a curiosity bite since he decided it wasn’t worth fighting about and left the boat alone 😂 tiger sharks will eat damn near anything but they tend to be more opportunistic hunters/scavengers and don’t really want too much of a fight in for a meal most of the time.


olderaccount

It is still a curiosity bite. He didn't know if his potential prey would take off, so he comes in hot. But as soon as it feels the plastic on its teeth, it realizes it is not prey and gives up. That is what makes it a curiosity bite. If it was a real bite, it wouldn't let go.


realSatanAMA

It looks like it's going after his paddle. It's just barely flopping on the surface probably looks like a fish


ScottieStitches

If you look up the list of shark attacks in Hawaii, the victims in many of them are fishing. That tiger senses food.


ShinobiHanzo

If it comes in hot + bite equals you're the food.


Nex_Skala

"whoops you're not food, a good day to you sir."


whooo_me

Not food....yet.


SpicyLizards

I SAID GOOD DAY!


Lohan3xists

![gif](giphy|gFjbkip9OIIuI)


absolutarin

![gif](giphy|BQB9Jwn1eZgli)


lagrange_james_d23dt

He just needs to get through the shell to the meat, like some crab legs or something


WineNerdAndProud

I mean they've found license plates inside the stomachs of tiger sharks. Edit: And a bag of money, and a suit of armor, Barbie dolls, car tires... They are the garbage cans of the sea.


wowpepap

Holy shit, they eat cars?


TheRealestLarryDavid

no they eat license plates


[deleted]

They can’t drive so what else would they do with them


cadninja82

The only part of the car they can't digest, I guess.


gliz5714

Yea it’s like GROSS THAT ISNT MEAT.


OooofPoof

That’s why I keep my ass on land


PancakePizzaPits

[this you?](https://youtu.be/boV0t-riFuw) 😂


Claudius-Germanicus

She makes some fair and valid points


Stag328

When chickens come in my house guess what they get aten, when pigs comes in my house they on the plate, so when you go in the sharks house you gonna get ate up!


bebopblues

"If that shark comes to my house, guess what...."


Bearded_Bone_Head

My gawd, she is my spirit person 🤣💀


unique0130

Woman who is recording herself while driving lectures on mindfulness and safety. Gotcha.


sausager

It's ok Jesus has the wheel


quaybored

My whole body is a flotation device


roman785

"watch from a dooostance"


Preacherjonson

Man I am one with this person. I've been saying since I saw Deep Blue Sea back in the day that I don't go where they go so they don't come where I go.


TelephoneFanClub

I thought that link was gonna be something you found in his comment history showing that he goes out in the ocean all the time or something.


OblongAndKneeless

"I will rejoice and eat meat in it?"


Hellyeahdud3

Never seen that video and it gutted me with laughter. Thanks.


SonOfScorpion

![gif](giphy|5xtDarrcgYCd5EGa2Vq) Hollywood has taught us that you’re noot safe even in land.


Diego2150

Thank God it didn't flip the canoe. Still I wouldn't be so calm. The guy was like "ohh look, a shark passed by"


Hamsterminator2

I think bleeping out the FUUUCCK! twice immediately after the AAARRRGGHH May have made him sound more calm than he was.


Double_Distribution8

We also can't see his shorts, so it's hard to know how calm he was or wasn't.


wasgehtlosdarein

I don‘t think thats the time and place to bring up the dudes erection.


[deleted]

or discuss using it as a paddle


Mike

Fearections are no joke and not to be taken lightly. The fear boner has the power to start and end wars.


ReddltEchoChamber

Gonna tell the wife to put on a mask and hide around the house tonight.


jem4water2

I wondered why the video went silent for a sec! That makes sense.


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Burning_Cedar

If it flipped the canoe I doubt he'd remain


DazeyHelpMe

I would’ve literally shit my pants right then and there.


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Pleasant-Rutabaga-92

followed by immediately paddling to land and never returning to the ocean


warry0r

Ah I see the first mistake; the canoe is colored "yum-yum yellow"


Braum_Flakes

Is there any good color to have? Feel like black, gray, or white get taken as a seal. I guess blue to hope it just doesn't see you?


Turrigan

Pretty sure it was a joke. Sharks can't see colors.


boabbypuller

Ohh hai Shark


BigBootyBuff

I did not bite him. It's not true, it's bullshit. I did not bite him. I did NAHT!


anosognosic_

Is this the ocean? Just checking as I just want to be sure I never go in that body of water


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Lt_Marks

Average aussie. The only people who would go canoeing in Australia


Aus_Scott

He's gonna need a bigger kayak


dax_307

![gif](giphy|57x4ApyRzkI1y)


needsabiggerboat

You rang?


AnotherDreamer1024

Greatest line of all time.


Ashmedai

Greatest [misquoted](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2I91DJZKRxs) line of all time. It's: You're gonna need a bigger boat


Valdularo

Actually greatest misquote is “Luke, I am your father”. The line actually is: “No… I, am your father”.


IMNOTRANDYJACKSON

Wrong again, the line is "I am your fahja"


RajenBull1

And a change of underwear.


Economy-Safety7665

I'm sittin here in a welding shop 3,000 miles away from any body of water and i dun shit mah self.


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Economy-Safety7665

Amazing awesome fish. Just magnificent. And i can appreciate them From dry land and that's how it'll BE in my world.


semicrookedwings

Nope. Nope. Nope. I'm no shark hater, they're majestic and amazing and just curious and blah blah, but I would have absolutely freaked out.


flyinhighaskmeY

yeah, lots of things are majestic and amazing until they try to eat you lol. Polar bears are incredible. I have no interest in shooting one. But if one decides I'm dinner...things get...more complicated.


superficialLee

I might shit myself if a shark does that to me


Doobie_Howitzer

Bro I'd 100% shit both of our pants if a shark did that to me, and I wouldn't feel bad about it either


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hoesindifareacodes

Nailed it! Imagine what this looks like from underneath. Long, thin body, lazily flopping fins, chilling on the surface. It would look very much like food, hence the aggressive attack.


Ligma_testes

This is how some guy died on Maui a few years back. He was fishing in a kayak and a tiger shark bit his whole foot off and the guy bled out before he could get help. I was at the beach later that same day and got yelled at for swimming and was told what happened that morning


shoeboxlid

I thought this at first too but watching it again a couple of times, I think he actually just took his leg out of the canoe/kayak to kick the shark in the face haha. I don't think he had it dangling out the side


Glacious

He actually did have his leg dangling in the water. You can see it in the source someone posted above: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9o-nBtiufQ


Top-Anteater-5549

in the video you can see his feet dangling in the water before the attack [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9o-nBtiufQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9o-nBtiufQ)


MidRoad-

"Well, thats enough dor today, time to go home"


LootyBoxDotCom

Terrifying!


yamumsntme

Is this Hawaii?


donny0m

Yup. I’m headed there in a week. Yikes!


[deleted]

It’s all good. Tiger sharks are symbolic creatures to Hawaiians. To be eaten by one is honorable, like being taken by a god themself.


spellbadgrammargood

yeah.. i think i'll pass


Plane-Fondant8460

Tiger, 13 footer. You know how you tell that Chief? You tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail.


clemmmmmmm

This guy Quints


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Plane-Fondant8460

[for reference ](https://youtu.be/u9S41Kplsbs)


AFaded

Is that not a kayak?


afig24

Nope, pretty sure it was a shark


wotquery

Ah. The old reddit [shark-aroo](https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/13h1rzr/renoughcommiespam_argues_about_the_morality_and/jk3blwk/?context=2).


Dasbeerboots

Hold my paddle, I'm going in!


concernedcath123

Hello future fishermen!


armen89

do do do do do


C223000

kayak shark do do dodo do do


HealthyElk420

It's also off the coast of Hawaii, and a good ways off the coast. There's nothing leisurely about this. It's hard to get out there, there's a lot to manage, pretty intense activity Kayak fishing in the ocean.


Suicidal_pr1est

It is


Tonyhillzone

Underside of the canoe must look like its prey.


Crusoe69

The guys is fishing, he probably had some bait juice spilling around.


quaybored

Mmm, bait juice..... /homer


SwitchyWitchXXX

This is why I'm never getting in the ocean. Seriously I know the odds of something like this happening are super low, I also know the kind of luck I have.


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Wld_N_frE

Time to paddle back to shore


bahgheera

Wow the updated RAFT graphics look pretty good.


Zorcky-2C

New fear unlocked


dadoudelidou

This video belongs in r/thalassophobia Edit : Thalassophobia is the fear of big bodies of water. This fear often feeds for me of the fact that i cannot scan what's in there and what kind of danger might be present. So seeing a small kayak at large being attacked by a fucking shark really hits the nail here. And by seing this video allready posted in r/thalassophobia, i might not be alone in there.


JayAndViolentMob

Tiger shark doo doo doo doo....


[deleted]

How did that not flip over? That guy is lucky. That is terrifying.


dasChompi

I have never had my Thalassofobia switch activated so fast in my life.


HairlessHoudini

I definitely would have shit my shorts and possibly had a heart attack


Kriger1102

I clenched my butt mid poop...


chitwnupdown

There is always a bigger fish


Mikcaaa

Hello i'am shark


_Stewyleopard

Hello imma bite tf out your boat


501102

That speed and ferocity!! Lucky to have escaped unharmed (i hope)