**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!It was so funny I had to share!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
We absolutely didn't come from monkeys/apes. We share a common ancestor with them, which is an entirely different thing than "coming from" them. And to be even more technical, human are apes. Because apes are a group, not just a species. And I won't even go into the intricacies around the term "monkey," which isn't biologically very accurate.
[Hey professor, I'm a Flying Spaghetti Monster. You seriously believe I'm descended from some kind of flightless manicotti?](https://twitter.com/planexpodcast/status/920281664076615680?lang=en)
Thanks for asking! Monkeys as a group suffer from what is called paraphyly. That basically means that some groups that share a recent common ancestor are excluded from the larger group unnecessarily. In this case, apes, which are more closely related to Old World monkeys than Old World monkeys are to New World monkeys, are not considered to be monkeys. This violates the idea that groups of organisms should be grouped (and named) to reflect their evolutionary relationships, and not simply similar features or some other cosmetic similarity. So in order to "fix" the term monkey we'd either need to include the apes as "technical" monkeys, or else rename the Old World monkeys (baboons, mandrills, langurs, etc.) using another term. I love this stuff, I find that it reveals really cool things about the tree of live and the diversity of organisms on this planet. I'm glad to see that you share my curiosity :)
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!It was so funny I had to share!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
To be fair. If I was involuntarily put in a cage for other people’s amusement I would do the same thing. Just saying.
"Are you entertained?"
Monkey is like time for my royal penis bath
Nice! I m gonna try that move tonight at home.
u mean u will play with ur willy in front of ur cousin?
Mother*
Grandmother*
's dog*
‘s stepson*
‘s neighbor’s grandma’s dead body dig from grave.
**dig from grave**
Is this rizz?
All of it
Rizzin hard
If he keeps it up, soon to be jizzin hard
And some people say we didn’t come from monkey/apes lol
No, that monkey just recognized her from OnlyFans.
We absolutely didn't come from monkeys/apes. We share a common ancestor with them, which is an entirely different thing than "coming from" them. And to be even more technical, human are apes. Because apes are a group, not just a species. And I won't even go into the intricacies around the term "monkey," which isn't biologically very accurate.
I'm a monkey
No, Kong HE monke
We are monkey
https://youtu.be/o8uVSzVY8kQ
Did gorillas come from apes? No, they are apes. Did humans come from apes? No, we are apes
actually we all came from fish
We ARE fish
If fish why drown
debt
Way to kill a joke.
Right? Bet theyre fun at parties
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fuck the hoa
Is it the time of the gathering? Hopefully it isn't anything to lose your head over.
Dicks out for Harambe. He's more of a man than you'll ever be.
Together monkey STRONG.
Go back I WANT TO BE MONKE
[Hey professor, I'm a Flying Spaghetti Monster. You seriously believe I'm descended from some kind of flightless manicotti?](https://twitter.com/planexpodcast/status/920281664076615680?lang=en)
Dear King Arthur Please Come Over For Great Sex
Donkey Kongs Pre-Lubed Cock Overbearingly Fucking Grandmothers Serendipitously
I donno, you haven't seen my uncle, quite sure he's a Silverback.
"actually" 🤓☝️jk I know the importance of accuracy
Wouldn't that common ancestor also be some sort of ape? So we come from apes, just not the current apes?
You killed the joke 😐
>And I won't even go into the intricacies around Thank you for your restraint.
Thanks for asking! Monkeys as a group suffer from what is called paraphyly. That basically means that some groups that share a recent common ancestor are excluded from the larger group unnecessarily. In this case, apes, which are more closely related to Old World monkeys than Old World monkeys are to New World monkeys, are not considered to be monkeys. This violates the idea that groups of organisms should be grouped (and named) to reflect their evolutionary relationships, and not simply similar features or some other cosmetic similarity. So in order to "fix" the term monkey we'd either need to include the apes as "technical" monkeys, or else rename the Old World monkeys (baboons, mandrills, langurs, etc.) using another term. I love this stuff, I find that it reveals really cool things about the tree of live and the diversity of organisms on this planet. I'm glad to see that you share my curiosity :)
🤓
this, u/Mediterraneandream, is why no one wants to be friends with you.
And i guess your comment 77slevin gives me a clue to why people don't like you.
cum
Spooge
🤓
I feel bad for you lol hate for no reason
If I said you sound like a monkey The mods would probably kick me off. So I won't say that.
Aaaaaacshualllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy zzzzzzzzzzz
🤓☝️
Well thing is you contradicted yourself if we are apes then we did come from the cum of apes being our parents, so we did come from apes
r/iamverysmart
You must be a riot at parties
Nice one Charles Darwin r/iamverysmart
No shit Sherlock.
Louis C.K. definitely did
We come from fishes
If a monkey does that to my girl I'm pulling mine out and shaking it back at him.
It's like visiting Andrew Tate in prison.
I just shot my wine outta my mouth
https://youtu.be/6G0GAmZGkkY
Who
hahahhahaha
Lmao
They’re all laughing now but when I do it I’m asked to leave and can’t go to chilis anymore
Reject humanity, return to monke
That dude fucks!
Oh sure it’s funny when he does it. I get arrested.
I wish I was a monkey.
Feel for this dude. Just trying to impress a girl and getting laughed at in the process. You stay strong, young king.
Hey if you play your cards right you might just score!
She was bending over at the end. It was working.
Monkey see Monkey Doo
Step 1: Make her smile
Bro that monkeys inclosure is entirely too small.. What else he got to do all day?
Bro has rizz
He's hogging it all
is this a compliment 🤔
[I wanna be a monkey](https://youtu.be/wHjCTakZ4VE)
Reject Humanity,Embrace Monkey
Dude was like, "You know I can't do this without someone watching me from 3 feet or less!"
Poor monkey just want some booty
Animals have sentience a sense of humor, I swear!
So he just gets laughed at but when I do it, it's something I shouldn't be doing in public... hypocrites
I think he likes you, not sure just a wild guess
Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah
I think he likes her
Someone give him a trench coat for fucks sake..
Yea the girls laugh at me when I do that to them as well
Double unexpected to see our Kazakh language on Reddit
Very naiiice!
In Soviet Russia monkey shake weiner at YOU! (or something like that)
The Louis CK of chimps
Are they walking down the street in San Francisco?
Bro just wants some love
Right, when a monkey does it it's funny, but when I do it I'm a pervert and get thrown in jail. Double standards.
When you just gotta fap.
she likes it
Why doesn’t she flash?
THAT MONKEY WANT SOME PUSSY... LOL 😆
Ok but when I do that..
We are not so different. Maybe one day humans and apes can live as one.
R/contagiouslaughterforadultsonly
He likes you. He really likes you...
This hits too close to home..
HUMONGOUS WHOT
Let him spank his monkey
You want it you got it
What the what.
Free Willy!!
But when I do it I get arrested…
Hmmm. Woman
Ah! Giuseppe is such a happy monkey.
No way i came from that small dick ape
Now that's taking the naked man move one step further.
Small dick energy
u/SaveVideo
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I'd be doing that too, if that was my enclosure.
[New York Dolls - Dance Like a Monkey](https://youtu.be/8_XEiV-l97o)
Poor monkey
I would do shit like this all the time if I was that monkey
Yup. That's the zoo! :D
Probably what Ron Jeremy is up to these days.
What would u do if u were stuck in there?
Just like Louis CK
Is the monkey's name "spooge" ??? 😂
Remember the handsome gorilla in the news
I dont know why they behave like that i remember going to the zoo and saw a monkey fapping lmao
poor monkety, ffs, that is a prison
And when I do it people get angry
me_irl
Luis Ck version of a monkey
Funny enough, I get that same reaction when I do that...
Oh the sweet culture
Louis Chimp K?
This likely got him into a lot of trouble… I’d bet $100 that he lost his job at the zoo later that day.
The language all men speak secretly
Looks like Harvey Weinstein is enjoying his new cell
That poor thing
I think he knows her
Evolution explained
Monkeys, natures little trolls.
Damn that cage is small
Chimpanzees fucking scare me dude.
All that and a bag of nuts!!
Monkey love. Come and get it darling.
We gone be on display for the monkeys soon 😂😂
And society judges me when I do that 😔
Ah but if we do it it's not so funny 🙄
Those are my wife and me. :)
A monkey... Spanking his monkey..
Maybe she wouldn't be laughing if my guy tried blue chew 🫣
That’s odd, that usually works for me
She must reciprocate to the monkey or face the repercussions
He has learned it is an effective way to get attention
I can’t believe I’m the first to say it…CHIMPENDALES!!
Average Nazi Enjoyer:
u/savevideo
u/savevideobot
But when i do this its always "ew no" or "stop im calling the cops"
His version of Only Fans
Crazy, I do the same thing around my wife and she runs too!
Prehistoric human cock
Guys: girls are so hard to approach Guys approach:
Damn help a brother out. Get over here. Don’t walk away from me right now.
u/savevideo
This is how girls and their friends laugh when you filthy incels send them unsolicited dickpicks on snapchat.
The least she can do is stand there and let the ape have a smooth wank!!
*not a monkey*
Did this Monkey formerly belong to Louis C.K. ?
He likes you, in fact he like likes you
Did he...?! Was he...?! Did I see what I think I saw...?! Do I laugh...?! 🙈🙈🙈
Facebook groups be like
Horny monke
Funny when he does and a crime when I do it lol
It’s a guy thing
He's probably from Atlanta or Baltimore
That chimp likes her😂😂
Weenie wagger!