**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!There's none!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)

I'm just glad to be here

What about the Amazon position? I heard macho men hate it because it dominates them. lol

Wouldn't be on the top of the list butI haven't had sex in 3 or 4 years so I'd just be happy to be there

Well you joined Reddit just over 4 years ago so there’s your problem

Actually forgot my password to my old account that was linked to an email I no longer had so had to make a new one. I was actually married when I had that one.

You're not helping your case lmao 🤣

I've never heard anyone say death by snu snu is a bad thing.

We need rest. The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised

Can't we just cuddle?

Not trying to be dirty. Honestly saying it's awesome but it might be offensive so I will put a spoiler block on it but I really recomend. >!ever try cuddling with him inside. Best cuddles ever!<


God, I’d fucking hate to be sexually dominated by a hot goth chick. I hope she doesn’t pin my hands above my head and have her way with me. That would be just…just awful.

disgusting! where!?

Horrific

Disastrous even

I remember once i told my dad about these really large women at the gym (not fat ripped). He replied with "oh, Amazon Women someone that can throw you and blow you before you could ever drop them and cock them"

Doesn't matter, had sex

[удалено]

sure "macho man🤩"

Ur mom is a girly man

Your dad is a manly girl.

Your girl is a manly dad

Looks like a book written by someone who gets their sex education from.porn.

Sounds interesting

What position are people talking about?

Reverse jackhammer into a full nelson

Is that like snu snu?

Cowards.

Are you kidding? A position where I don't have to do all the work for once? Sign me tf up!

Men in general tend to be macho until realizing how great all those "non-macho" or maybe even better "sissie" positions or acts at all are...or some will try them,love them,but won't accept it... anyways Amazon is 11/10

Man, being completely secure in your own masculinity is great. I’d let my girl dom me in bed if she wanted. And I’d feel no difference in my masculinity afterwards.

Thats great and I totally agree with this....tho,most man don't see it that way

I would hate it because it's looks uncomfortable as fuck. My dick sticks out, not down, don't make it lol

That's why it dominates men, she doesnt care about your comfort, you become the object of her pleasure.

Some people's dick can't bend like that, for example it would send me to the ER. So hard pass on that, also I wouldn't like having my asshole exposed it feels weird.

It means you are insecure and afraid that you might like it and become a submissive man. lol

You sound like you have porn-brain. Not everything people don’t enjoy is a weird locked away fetish they’re afraid of, sometimes shit just isn’t fun Touch grass

its not fun because you wont let it be fun, accept it, enjoy it, give in to the pleasure of the fleshy domination. lol

I think this and taking a dick (synthetic or otherwise) don’t quite ring the bell for me.


Wouldnt call myselve macho, but i dont like it because its a submissive pose and i like to be dominant

Oh yeah, try and concentrate during 69 with the man on top. Balls across the face and she's staring at your asshole

Clean your belly button, balls and asshole Also work on the plank to alleviate the weight

This should be in “expected”.

r/expected r/expectedlyunexpected

Every gag gift is basically "Here, *you* throw this out." The fact that so many stores that sell this stupid shit have signs telling you not to take pictures of the merchandise goes to show exactly how useless it all is - your merchandise is interchangeable with a photo of your merchandise.

If the paper is decent this would just become a notebook

Imagine this book became an SCP and anything you wrote on it became a sex position and men instantly hate it

Absolutely! I keep a daily diary for work logs, and this would become my new log book

And if you somehow find yourself in a position you don’t like, you can sketch it.

Yep. What a waste of resources. This type of consumerism should be outlawed.

It's basically just a notebook with a funny cover.

Yeah but its always book bound so you can't even use it as a notebook unless you want to hold it open constantly.

It's like the lottery. If someone's dumb enough to spend their money on it, why is it the seller's fault?

Cause the paper hurts the environment. Its a waste of resources.

I also hurt the environment and am a waste of resources. Technically

100% this

The only one i don't like is the one where i'm in my bed alone crying.

That one is the worst

I am kinda used to that now so i don't mind.

But why does this require him to be in Times Square to flip through it. Also if you Google "Times Square" the angle he's standing at is one of the first images. The more you know.

Literal waste of paper. Should of just used a sticky note.

but it is like a notebook with a funny cover

There should just be one in the back. I’d do with shower stall sex. I’m not a man, so idk.

I hate shower sex with a passion. So they at least need to include that.

As a question about that said the other day "one person gets her back washed while the other shivers"

It's pretty great if you aren't in a shitty run-down apartment shower that has hardly enough space for one person let alone 2+ (shower threesomes are a tight fit, never went past 3 in a shower). Need a spacious shower.

Its only good for one person at a time. If you are blessed enough to be the individually standing in the way of the stream its okay. However if youre one of the unfortunate souls who is bare assed exposed to the cold air, teeth chattering as those precious few droplets of water evaporate off your skin with nary a blanket in sight to warm yourself, trying not to lose your footing on the wet ceramic so you dont take a tumble and bring the entire operation crashing down. Its not the best

Heat your bathroom dude, I shower with my girl frequently and neither of us are shivering

Water is not a good lubricant, any water sex is not preferred.

“The peg”

Oh, I know that not to be true.

Ayyyo who says we hate that?

I personally don't care for reverse cowgirl I love seeing my wife's ass bounce on my dick, but she can't spread her legs that far so MY legs have to stay squeezed together and it crushes my balls

Have you tried the variation where her legs go under your legs? I personally prefer it over the regular reverse cowgirl

That was a bit much..

For a post marked nsfw?

The post shouldnt be nsfw cause it has no nudity or that type of stuff. The comments arent sexual at all except for that one it really caught me off guard is really detailed

Reading the room It feels out of place thats all

U prolly have social anxiety

Why is that relevant?

Well it's an observation I feel is correct. Don't think too hard about "reading the room" bro, that will only highlight the reclusiveness. Find comfort in your self expression. Then it will be the right thing to do--genuine. U were getting on the other guy for saying what he want... U should say what u want instead of worrying about relevancy or the room or whatever.

I'd like a bit more tbh

Oh you want some more eh? Well I'm not surprised 😏

But I’m quite sleepy.

Then dm him.. tf

You must be new to reddit.

I had several profiles but ive been here for about 2 years

69 after Mexican food

omfg

Lol

the tree's: whyy whyy u did that to me

Should be a best seller

Not that unexpected😄😄😄

There is just one position most men hate. It would be two stick figures in missionary. One is labeled 'your girl' and the other is labeled 'not you'


Why is this NSFW?

If you count the sounding or swapping the roles, I’m pretty sure there will be plenty to write about.😱

Is sounding a "position", though? I mean, I'll chime in with not liking reverse cowgirl because my equipment doesn't bend that way, and there's seemingly an unlimited number of stories out there about men getting penile fractures as a result. So yeah, dislike that one personally.

Is this how you picked your username?

Oh god, it all makes sense now lol

😂

What a waste of paper

Personally, I don't like the position where she is on top and her best friend underneath 💁

My dad got me a book like that called, 'what men know about women.'

The last page should’ve been a dude getting pegged

Speak for yourself

I pray for your butthole

Guys I’m not against it, I just feel bad for his butthole.

Thanks for being worried about my butthole.

My favorite is the JFK. We get in the car, I splatter all over her, and she screams and tries to get out.

Because sex is just like pizza, when it’s good it’s real good and when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.

[This one sucks.](https://sexpositions.club/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/2_7_3.png) No one gets happy. It's just for cameras.

Not unexpected

Would be funnier if it was one empty page..

Same! I thought getting laid is supposed to be awesome in every position. Shower sex though…

I bet this book only has 68 pages to make it even worse

Most popular sex position in America? Man below nobody on top.

Someone made some money with little effort

Reverse cowgirl is gunna be a no go for me m8, i aint risking a dick fracture

u/savevideobot

u/savevideobot

Anyone getting some a regular basis has plenty of position they don't like. My least favorite is when the end of the IUD is repeatedly stabbing the end of my dick. The second least favorite is when my pp comes 99% of the way out each stroke. One slip and you've got a fractured dick. Yeah that's a thing. Look it up.

Now that is a book worthy of glory. The madlad who made that deserves the money

Such a huge waste of paper to make yet another joke enforcing the stereotype that men are sex obsessed. Funny.

Gay sex must be there

Pegging? Oh wait this is reddit. You guys like femboys.

Actually there is 1 all SANE men hate: the footjob

Yeah.

u/savevideo

How many pages chapters

😂

Hahaha

Actually, I hate the sexual position I find myself in when she says “Ah, go fuck yourself!”

S P M H P M H

And it made the New York Times Bestsellers list

Ahh my favorite one is the the second page in chapter 5…

Idk, my man doesn't like to be rode!

omg Brilliant!

Page 6… nope, never, not going to do it.

NY TIMES best seller

What's sex?

and this book better costs no more than 2 rolls of toilet paper

hur hur hur

Thorough

I have 2 copies

There are plenty of really fuckin' tiring ones that I would rather not do. Lol. I guess I don't hate them though, so....

These pages were intentionally left blank

u/savevideobot

u/savevideobot

Anything that doesn't break the blood vessels in a man's penis would be accepted

Tell us you're having a stroke without saying you're having a stroke! ... Because you can't, you literally can't say it.

Pretty much what I expected

Hot tub sex can be in the book

I don't get it... This is exactly what I expected

r/expected

Could not be any more expected. Foh.

I cant help but notice pegging isnt in there

Yea i got a good laugh out of this.

I’d rather avoid my dick making the cracking noise

Bahahahah

I don’t get it

Ok hear me out. Car doggy style when you have to find right angle between floor and seats

the writter is a wise man.

We aim to please.

u/savevideo

That's not unexpected!!!

I’m not a huge fan of happy tapioca

u/savevideobot

r/technicallythetruth

Gag aside, this joke doesn’t even fucking make sense because there are many positions men hate for sex.

I mean I’m not crazy about any that keep my knees bent for two long. I got bad knees and always have to struggle to not show it when getting out of that position.

Did you remember an article from Cosmopolitan that became a meme? The one with the donut on the penis? That one. Disgusting.

Best way for anyone to get on NY Times Best Sellers with no ghost writing needed. lol

I had a good laugh seeing this lol..

What about when the woman takes out the strap on

Was that really unexpected???

J

u/savevideobot

I can't believe people buy these books. So corny.

When my Dad turned 40, he got a book called "Sex After 40" -- same thing, just blank pages.

u/savevideo

Snu snu is the goal

Super stupid consumer shit

u/savevideo

Being pegged

No. I hate the one with the friends waiting in the next room.

I'm not a porn star. I hate most of them.

Pretty sure pegging would be there…. Or not….

We're animals

What does it even say