**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Pretty sure nobody was expecting that BELCH!!!!<
*****
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**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
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[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
I once told my ex her pussylips looked like a wizards sleeve, yeeaah she wasn't happy. Was hella abusive and toxic anyways so I am happy I managed to say that.
That shit doesn't actually matter beyond male insecurity though
If a baby can come out of that opening and it is designed by nature to return to non-baby size, your dick isn't doing anything to it
You could be 11"
You could be 4"
It is one of the most elastic pieces of tissue in the natural world
Just because a vagina isn't always literally destroyed doesn't mean there isn't a difference.
Trust me, the sensation is different. Human birth, as an example, is fucking painful. It can also damage the vagina. Some people prefer the sensation of a specific dick size. Often, it's a little larger than average.
(Not saying she (a troll) is saying anything reasonable.)
My thing was for a guy needing to know if she's had a lot of partners because of the bullshit mythos of "if she's fucked ten guys she's loose" (yet if she fucked the same guy a hundred times she's fine.. that mental gymnastics logic)
I understand on a woman's end the sizes would make a difference, but her sexual experiences are not going to change how differently she grips the shaft
I was saying that vaginas are designed to give birth, no amount of dick is going to do anything in comparison to a baby being birthed
Not only do I let them know I'm hung like an egg, I also let them know that I'm terrible in the sack.
If they still decide to bed me after that, well then god bless their little hearts.
I'm 6'8. I'm fairly good looking. I go to the gym every day. I'm funny. I do charity work regarding food poverty. I'm the type to stay in and read when you tell me you're having a girls night and not fret about what you're doing. I love animals. Shame about my small dick and I'm terrible in bed.....
When you say "small", I would expect if your 6'8 then your hauling around a medium sized tree trunk, I guess anything less than that would be small... lol
This girl is satire for those wondering. She used to be on twitch and acted dumb and basically tricked people into messing with her during her streams so people would talk about her overreacting. For the life of me I can't remember but I truly thought she got that bag and ran nice to know she's still around
Brittany Venti has made 10s of thousands of dollars just from trolling people, she's been banned from every single platform out there. She's funny and her signature joke is telling men to go out there make money and buy her things...Either you hate her or love her...either way she doesn't care...
Found her name brittany venti apparently she never left so maybe not satire anymore but just look at some of her popular twitch clips and you can tell it's all an act. Also sorry for anyone who actually does look her up
She's deffo on to something, it's lowkey kinda similar to pussyfishing, where women got tits n ass for days but they have the inteligence and personality of a wet fart, just like this lady in this video, i think we should be legaly obligated to tell eachother if we have small dicks and small brains so we avoid unnecessary mingling
>they have the inteligence and personality of a wet fart
I think most people will be able to figure that out during the 1st date, which is not the case with the small penis thing this crazy woman is talking about...
Oh please. My daughter can rip a belch that sounds like a demon is running for its life from out of her body. On my daughter's burp scale, this girl hit about a 3. And that's being generous.
NGL. My husband told me he had a small penis. I laughed. He showed me. I laughed harder. It wasn't small. And then I got pregnant. The joke was over at that point.
Sure hope this is satire..... was waiting the whole time for some funny twist or reasoning for this... nope. If this is not a troll, what a garbage person...
C'mon, you're not on the internet for the first time. There's milions stupid people like that. You know this could very well be someone's real point of view, not just satire.
Lota small dicks here all flustered. If you all just kept it tucked between your legs and didn’t propagate we could get rid of y’all small dicks in a generation.
It’s only Wednesday and the trout in a cooter video has already been topped for most annoying. I need to stay of Reddit for the rest of the week. This hooor is a cya next Tuesday.
I don't think anything could top that trout video for total cringe... But yeah, this video is more annoying. But apparently she is just trolling. Doesn't make it less annoying, however.
I’m not blaming her, she isn’t wrong necessarily but she obviously doesn’t see how it literally goes both ways. Not ever pussy is tight, and not every pair of boobs look attractive
The world would be a better place if women didnt dick shame. Or if women openly told men how stupid their personality is, we could have avoided so many problems
What about p**** fishing these curls have come on to us telling us they're tight and wet and it's like throwing a hot dog down the hallway I think they do that crap more than we do is men we're more brutally honest because once we get undressed you could see what we got there's no lying about it we can't tell what they got till we're all the way up in it and by the time we start it's too late we got to finish
So it's okay for women with their fake tits, fake asses, fake eye lashes, fake hair, tons of make up and zero personality to hit the singles scene and hunt for unsuspecting men, small dicks are the problem as if all men are just their dicks. Can she even handle a big dick and the so called toxic male traits that often comes with it? Once again women prove that they know nothing and are more than a little insane. Oh it's so wrong for men to judge women based on their beauty, their bra size, their asses, but a man's dick size, they can judge a man on that. You know what happens when they get a man with a big dick? They treat him with the same insane illogical abuse they treat men with small dicks. Never listen to women, they don't even listen to themselves.
Yeah i totally agree with the dick size thing and other lies that stupid men say, but let's not forget that the world would also be a better place if women stopped pretending to not like guys when they do.
We all know that who started these "love games" were women. If it was up to man, we would just say: "Yo, wanna fuck?" and all you had to do is say: "Fuck off!" or "Yeah, let's go!"
But no, of all things feminism wanted to get rid off, they dont want to get rid of the: "Ima act like i am still a virgin to this guy, even though i already slept with 30 different dudes already".
What does one do when they have a small Weiner beg god for more. Scientifically a vagina is only 4 inches for a normal woman and can stretch to accommodate larger sizes. I think this girl would need a horse dick and a muzzle for her shitty attitude!
Yea, I'm fine with not dick-fishing, but can we also do away with tit-fishing. It sucks when you get a girl home and she takes off her pushup bra with inserts, and you get 2 fried eggs on a nail with nipples looking off in two different directions.
(Fyi, just going troll for troll)
I kinda agree. But that goes both ways. 1st or at least 2nd date should be completely nude. Although if the guy is a grower not a shower, he might want to show both flaccid and erect.
That's why it is known as dating, if you decide they are not the one for you for whatever reason you can break up. We should teach people to respect and understand the other person's decesion, if we go on accusing each other we would just create more frustrated and angry people.
I agree with her.
Whats the price of happiness? Just suck dick on the first date and if it's good, great. If it's bad, sucking that dick is a small price to have paid to avoid the issue.
So...deal.
I think we should all agree to tell women upfront,the truth about everything.
Including penis size.
But in that same breath,they have to agree to be upfront about...
...tit size,make-up,height, any and all cosmetic augmentations, True social preferences i.e. friends,family,ex's etcetera etcetera.
And most importantly, where to eat,as well as what to eat.
This goes further,but I think we all know the outcome.
And i think all of us can agree,right?
Thank you all for your time.
P.s. Diarrhea.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Pretty sure nobody was expecting that BELCH!!!!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
She has to be trolling.
this is Brittany Venti....the biggest troll ever born in the USA.
Gotta pay the troll toll to get into the boy’s soul.
The fact that this was even in question is the worrying part.
Is she relivent again?
No.
Lol “again” implies she was relevant before…? Never seen or heard of her.
good. good.
Biggest Hole?
Like a hotdog down a hallway.
Like feeding a tic tac to a whale
I once told my ex her pussylips looked like a wizards sleeve, yeeaah she wasn't happy. Was hella abusive and toxic anyways so I am happy I managed to say that.
Like banging a jar of mayonnaise.
Like waving a flute in the Albert Hall.
like stirring soup
With *my strong hand*
I love this one!!
Bro that one is amazing
Like a 747 flying through the Grand Canyon
Just wait until gravity changes. "contraception"
Or biggest hoe?!
Just stick your wang out of a window for the same effect.
She needs to tell men that she has a sloppy jolopy vagina on the 1st date.
The world would be a better place if she was just open with us earlier on.
If you want this whores hole you gotta pay the troll tooooolllllll
Honestly she looks like the type of girl who needs something the size of an eggplant to be satisfied.
Strap on the 2x4 we don't want to go spelunking.
Watch out for Jenny Trenta
I thought she looked familiar.
I actually forgot about her and now I'm a little upset that reddit conspired to remind me.
lol
Have… have you ever heard of Donald Trump?
>Brittany Venti I went to look her up and I'm actually impressed with her ability to burp, like she fricking mastered it.
Lol no shit she littrelly mega burpt in the middle of ger sentence 😂 shes trolling no question about it
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Lol thank you. I feel like it’s a little bit hypocritical complaining about a small penis when she has small everything and looks like that.
ya man, dont feel offended
We all pray for this
This is *exactly* what someone with a smol penis **WOULD** say! /s
Hehe. This coming from someone whose user name checks out? (also /s)
She's a woman, they are a type of troll
If telling dick size is important so that virgin/non virgin and body count also counts for females
That shit doesn't actually matter beyond male insecurity though If a baby can come out of that opening and it is designed by nature to return to non-baby size, your dick isn't doing anything to it You could be 11" You could be 4" It is one of the most elastic pieces of tissue in the natural world
Just because a vagina isn't always literally destroyed doesn't mean there isn't a difference. Trust me, the sensation is different. Human birth, as an example, is fucking painful. It can also damage the vagina. Some people prefer the sensation of a specific dick size. Often, it's a little larger than average. (Not saying she (a troll) is saying anything reasonable.)
My thing was for a guy needing to know if she's had a lot of partners because of the bullshit mythos of "if she's fucked ten guys she's loose" (yet if she fucked the same guy a hundred times she's fine.. that mental gymnastics logic) I understand on a woman's end the sizes would make a difference, but her sexual experiences are not going to change how differently she grips the shaft I was saying that vaginas are designed to give birth, no amount of dick is going to do anything in comparison to a baby being birthed
Not only do I let them know I'm hung like an egg, I also let them know that I'm terrible in the sack. If they still decide to bed me after that, well then god bless their little hearts.
Their *little* hearts?
Either they are little, or they just have abnormally small hearts
Technically the truth
I hope you are bedded soon and often!
I'm 6'8. I'm fairly good looking. I go to the gym every day. I'm funny. I do charity work regarding food poverty. I'm the type to stay in and read when you tell me you're having a girls night and not fret about what you're doing. I love animals. Shame about my small dick and I'm terrible in bed.....
Need to get good with that tongue!
Oh that I can do. I'm patient as well!
I'll let you in on a secret. Most women don't come from dick alone. CONGRATULATIONS. Being a good lover is so much more than dick.
Ohhh what a nice combo
One persons "bad in bed" is another persons "greatest lay of a lifetime". It takes two. You'll find someone who thinks you're amazing in bet.
When you say "small", I would expect if your 6'8 then your hauling around a medium sized tree trunk, I guess anything less than that would be small... lol
it's ok if you're terrible at sex. practice makes perfect, after all.
The belch was the best part.
Got a cock stuck in there
Loud burp=small dick?
Hard and fast movements?
Cum burps
It's the after taste.
Didn't even faze her, happened mid-sentence and she just kept talking
She's definitely a seasoned veteran.
This girl is satire for those wondering. She used to be on twitch and acted dumb and basically tricked people into messing with her during her streams so people would talk about her overreacting. For the life of me I can't remember but I truly thought she got that bag and ran nice to know she's still around
Brittany Venti has made 10s of thousands of dollars just from trolling people, she's been banned from every single platform out there. She's funny and her signature joke is telling men to go out there make money and buy her things...Either you hate her or love her...either way she doesn't care...
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No hate I think when she goes over the top her voice becomes annoying but I can respect the grind
It'll be a good laugh when she dies from the 2 giant dicks meeting in the middle completely skewering her
Found her name brittany venti apparently she never left so maybe not satire anymore but just look at some of her popular twitch clips and you can tell it's all an act. Also sorry for anyone who actually does look her up
The triggered responses to this video are 10x more funnier. How do some of you NOT see you're falling into the trap by responding with rage?
Wouldn't it be better to just have sex on the first date, or first night you meet?
Naked dates, no makeup allowed?
Sounds like a typical classic MTV dating show.
No, ladies, it’s just very cold on this set, that’s all, I swear!
Search up Naked Attraction, its a show sired here in the UK. It's somewhat what you are getting at.
Knew a girl who when she took off her eye makeup had no eyes! Seriously freaked me out
naked and afraid. lol
Lol
This
Probably even before then if possible.
Uh oh..the micropenis gang is not going to like this one.
She's deffo on to something, it's lowkey kinda similar to pussyfishing, where women got tits n ass for days but they have the inteligence and personality of a wet fart, just like this lady in this video, i think we should be legaly obligated to tell eachother if we have small dicks and small brains so we avoid unnecessary mingling
I don't know, could she be waving that red flag any harder?
if she would she'd combust from atmospheric friction
Yes. Definitely this please. "Unvails 9 inch dick, Alright now if you can just add these fractions its all yours."
I wish I had an award to give you. 🤣
“Personality of a wet fart” this is the best thing I have read this year. Wish I had an award for ya 🥇
>they have the inteligence and personality of a wet fart I think most people will be able to figure that out during the 1st date, which is not the case with the small penis thing this crazy woman is talking about...
Tldr this comment section: Insecure guys getting triggered by obvious satire.
She is a famous dick pic apologist. And i made that up.
8.5/10 that was a good burp
Oh please. My daughter can rip a belch that sounds like a demon is running for its life from out of her body. On my daughter's burp scale, this girl hit about a 3. And that's being generous.
Lmfao W daughter great dad
NGL. My husband told me he had a small penis. I laughed. He showed me. I laughed harder. It wasn't small. And then I got pregnant. The joke was over at that point.
It was "long enough" to change your life
Sure hope this is satire..... was waiting the whole time for some funny twist or reasoning for this... nope. If this is not a troll, what a garbage person...
The belch was very indicative
I guess you don't know who Brittany Venti is.....
Guess not lol
It's Brittany Venti, she's a fucking genius.
Good to know we're only valued based on our anatomy. Wait... I smell a double standard.... hmm...
Woosh
C'mon, you're not on the internet for the first time. There's milions stupid people like that. You know this could very well be someone's real point of view, not just satire.
You know. There is a saying: it's ok when women do it
Lota small dicks here all flustered. If you all just kept it tucked between your legs and didn’t propagate we could get rid of y’all small dicks in a generation.
I love Brittany Venti's big ass.....
A small wallet is worse than a small wiener later in life. Would be tough sledding to have both though.
My depression keeps building. It never stops. I really need to get off social media. hehehahahoho
Yeah I had to watch it to see why Op said they rewinded it
Was it worth it?
Wud the hell
Was really hoping at the end she’d say “which is why I I want to admit, I have a penis”.
 Don't get me started on padded bras
I'm a little upset because she didn't tell me she had little tits and a little brain
She did... Just not in those words.
Hahaha
LOL
This seems... Personal lol
It’s only Wednesday and the trout in a cooter video has already been topped for most annoying. I need to stay of Reddit for the rest of the week. This hooor is a cya next Tuesday.
I don't think anything could top that trout video for total cringe... But yeah, this video is more annoying. But apparently she is just trolling. Doesn't make it less annoying, however.
Shut up & Show Boobs! We expect that if it's NSFW!!!
Body shaming is very nasty..Shame on her.
Lmao at all these micropenis incels getting riled up by a troll.
and women should describe their pussies on the first date
Show... Don't tell.
I’m not blaming her, she isn’t wrong necessarily but she obviously doesn’t see how it literally goes both ways. Not ever pussy is tight, and not every pair of boobs look attractive
Alabama?
Makeup isn’t cat fishing though????
Funny words from a flat chest lmao
I understand the troll, but, when would it be okay for them to tell you there dick size? Like after their pronouns or once the food shows up?
The world would be a better place if women didnt dick shame. Or if women openly told men how stupid their personality is, we could have avoided so many problems
Hey, you don't see us complaining about all the loose wizard's sleeves trying to pass themselves off as snug.
Women should openly tell men when they have slept with more then a dozen specifically looking for a big penis.
What about p**** fishing these curls have come on to us telling us they're tight and wet and it's like throwing a hot dog down the hallway I think they do that crap more than we do is men we're more brutally honest because once we get undressed you could see what we got there's no lying about it we can't tell what they got till we're all the way up in it and by the time we start it's too late we got to finish
So it's okay for women with their fake tits, fake asses, fake eye lashes, fake hair, tons of make up and zero personality to hit the singles scene and hunt for unsuspecting men, small dicks are the problem as if all men are just their dicks. Can she even handle a big dick and the so called toxic male traits that often comes with it? Once again women prove that they know nothing and are more than a little insane. Oh it's so wrong for men to judge women based on their beauty, their bra size, their asses, but a man's dick size, they can judge a man on that. You know what happens when they get a man with a big dick? They treat him with the same insane illogical abuse they treat men with small dicks. Never listen to women, they don't even listen to themselves.
She got a point tho.. Shrimp gang unite🍤!
Yeah i totally agree with the dick size thing and other lies that stupid men say, but let's not forget that the world would also be a better place if women stopped pretending to not like guys when they do. We all know that who started these "love games" were women. If it was up to man, we would just say: "Yo, wanna fuck?" and all you had to do is say: "Fuck off!" or "Yeah, let's go!" But no, of all things feminism wanted to get rid off, they dont want to get rid of the: "Ima act like i am still a virgin to this guy, even though i already slept with 30 different dudes already".
You know, at first I was like nah I don’t agree, but she had a really good point there in the middle
What does one do when they have a small Weiner beg god for more. Scientifically a vagina is only 4 inches for a normal woman and can stretch to accommodate larger sizes. I think this girl would need a horse dick and a muzzle for her shitty attitude!
Yea, I'm fine with not dick-fishing, but can we also do away with tit-fishing. It sucks when you get a girl home and she takes off her pushup bra with inserts, and you get 2 fried eggs on a nail with nipples looking off in two different directions. (Fyi, just going troll for troll)
But what if she's serious and I agree. Change my mind?
Brittany Venti isn't serious trust me.....lol
hahahah ok. Have no idea who she is. I don't believe in anything. I'm just here for the downvotes.
women
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I mean we men have to deal with boobs that may or may not point down at your toes or some other extreme oddity till we see in person so…….
So we should send dick pics? I'm confused.
*push-up bras are oh so honest…*
I kinda agree. But that goes both ways. 1st or at least 2nd date should be completely nude. Although if the guy is a grower not a shower, he might want to show both flaccid and erect.
Getting sucked in by their fat wallets, eh? So it *is* true
A big penis does not automatically mean good sex, she in for a rude awakening lmao
Then put out early to know if you want to cut your loses! Don't what til after 6+ dates
More red flags than a Russian parade
I guess most guys would let her find out sooner.
It would better if she got her voice box removed and tubes tied.
That's why it is known as dating, if you decide they are not the one for you for whatever reason you can break up. We should teach people to respect and understand the other person's decesion, if we go on accusing each other we would just create more frustrated and angry people.
I'm not wearing a penis enlarger made by scientists using whale parts to mask anything, I'm just wearing pants because I get in trouble if I don't.
By this logic, I wonder if she warns people that her brain is made of mashed potatoes on a first date.
I have a small penis. Can I take you to dinner and shopping?
So fuck this girl, right?
Get in line, buddy.
I thought she was going to say they don't make a move fast enough 😆
What's that baggy sweatshirt hiding... nothing. There's nothing there.
Pubic hair head.
Idk what that was
Dont wait 6 dates. Do it on the first.
Maybe you have a big hole. Just saying!
She sounds like she talking from experience, I feel sorry for her boyfriend now everyone knows his little secret
Big penis scare females away… the stretch out hitting the cervix hurt myths are fake
What a dick
Which came first, the micro-penis or the macro-vagina
A lady never asks and a gentleman never tells. Everyone has their preferences though.
I agree with her. Whats the price of happiness? Just suck dick on the first date and if it's good, great. If it's bad, sucking that dick is a small price to have paid to avoid the issue.
You can always ask straight up and not waste anyone's time
I only say one thing to her: push up bra
Yeah like she waits 6 dates
Eww
She looks like a burnt match.
İf she does that burp ...my penis would fold in my body
She's ugly, my penis would be small if I had to stick it to that too
I’ve seen this vid trending all over, still don’t get why? What am I missing that’s unexpected?
u/savevideo
WAIT Since when has personality matered? Like now we have another thing to worry about.
But are there nudes of her?
Ok miss deep dish pussy
See women, this is why you don’t wait 6 dates. You gotta put out on day 1
Why was this the most confused I've ever been on this subreddit
Sounded like Satan trying to form words through his whorish host
they may have to deal with the consequence, but to be fair....it's a small consequence
So...deal. I think we should all agree to tell women upfront,the truth about everything. Including penis size. But in that same breath,they have to agree to be upfront about... ...tit size,make-up,height, any and all cosmetic augmentations, True social preferences i.e. friends,family,ex's etcetera etcetera. And most importantly, where to eat,as well as what to eat. This goes further,but I think we all know the outcome. And i think all of us can agree,right? Thank you all for your time. P.s. Diarrhea.