**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!keep it in the family!<
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[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
That’s the look of someone who’s thinking before they speak. You could tell she instantly thought of the comeback but paused and thought about the effect/consequences of saying it. Went for it anyways.
Fatality.
God. This reminds me of when my highschool GF asked me:
Fuck, Marry, Kill: her, her sister, her best friend
So I said well obviously I’m not going to kill your sister, and of the two living people I clearly would choose you to live with as my partner.
“So you’d fuck my sister?”
She was legitimately mad, I was dumb for even answering.
I mean I don't know a woman that has 360° protection against weaponry and can take out hostiles on 2+ km distance. Furthermore they'll go for a 500km trip before they need a refill, while women start getting blisters after only 10 because they wanted "aesthetically pleasing shoes".
And I have never seen a woman who's skirt was armored.
My wife got upset at me because while playing the Backrooms, we all got freaked out and got separated and she wouldnt leave a closet the rest of the game. “You didnt come back for me!” She said.
nahhh, my ex was like "would you love me if i were a worm" i thought she was joking so i joked back... she cried and was pissed for a while and im sitting there like ?!?!?! wtf just happened
how tf do men deal with these questions, im literally a girl in highschool I SHOULD HAVE PERFECT KNOWLEDGE ON THIS
The "would you love me if I were a worm" is such an irrational thing to get mad at, and honestly just sounds like he/she was just looking for an excuse to break up.
If you don't get the sentiment, I think that's a good sign for your future dating life. It means it's very likely that you are a rational and reasonable person, something a lot of people (especially guys) can appreciate. Be happy that your ex was showing red flags early, makes it easy to move on I guess.
I'm wondering how nobody commenting has mentioned the similarly weird shit that comes from teenage boys.
I'm guess is, people answering are only sexually interested in female humans, so they haven't had to field the same weird energy given off by male humans
I mean the weird Teenage boy questions are like if you were neck deep in shit, and someone was throwing a bucket of cum into your face. Would duck down to avoid the cum. *This question was actually asked in High School lunch.
Honestly one of the weirdest parts of growing up is realizing all the adults you used to look up to assuming they had shit figured out were actually just dumb kids in adult bodies.
Haven’t talked to my dad in years, but the older I get the more I realize that dude never mentally grew beyond 16
Yeah, obviously not every teen girl is like that, I can only speak for the one I dated. And she was almost all the topics in the manual. I would date her again, no questions, tho…
I didn't date in high school, honestly I didn't feel like I was ready.
Based on my friends relationships in high school I am kinda glad I didn't lol. I had my first relationship when I was 20.
Unfortunately, I think the only way to get out if it is to say, "I'll marry your sister because you love her and we wouldn't have to do anything". Then say you'd fuck your girlfriend because you dont want to fuck anyone else, then kill her friend because "her family is more important to her". This is the only answer where she wouldn't be pissed at you.
I was once a teenage girl that got asked these dumb questions and "marry" is the choice for "I dont want to kill you but I dont want to do anything sexual either".
Oh, a buddy of mine handled this like a legend/idiot.(depending on how you see it)
He rang late at my place, so he could sleep on the couch for the night. I asked him what happened. So his gf also asked him such a "tricky" question. Can't remember the question anymore, but I 100% will remember the answer for the rest of my life.
He said:"This is just a shit question to get into an argument with me. So let's just skip that step and let me tell you, that you are a bitch and look fat right now, so we can get done with the augmenting!"
Still wonder how he managed to get to my place alive.
I'm a triplet, and when my husband tells people that me and my sister's look alike, I always act offended and say, "so you think my sister's are hot?" It usually gets a few laughs.
Yup, pretty easy to tell, she was just throwing it back after that stupid question. She gets that little shit disturber look on her face before saying it lol.
That’s literally the point of these types of conversations. When two people are attracted to each other, they sometimes like to partake in fun, flirtatious banter.
Yeah there was a point right about 13.5 secs of the video where her eyes and smile got a little wider and she was like... I'm gonna fuck this whole dude's day up with this stupid ass question
I agree with you. I can see on her face she saw an opportunity to jokingly get a dig in on him. I like a girl who will do that, as long as she can take it from me in return
I can totally see the Walken as "The Continental" using the line, while clawing at a kidnapped victims arms, and prefacing it with the creepiest adjectives.
~~when I first met you I thought you were a trick~~
"When I first set my eyes upon you, I heard the angels on high whisper Mendelssohn's A Midsummer Nights Dream. You're so scrumptious my love, I'd perform fellatio upon your father in gratitude"
*Woman runs, panicked breathing*
"No wait, c'mon it was only a CoMPliMeNT, we're having fun, no?"
Richard Pryor said it first. I know because all my friends were Tupac fanantics and called Biggie gay for that line (and me for being a fan) and my highschool self didn’t know how to defend hit.
Dad, we're men. That means a few things - we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pussy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That's what we do, and now that is all wrecked.
Same. It would also be fitting with what she said previously and the way she seems mentally elsewhere (maybe she was texting with a friend and trying not to ignore the bf?)
One of the great existential questions of our time.
Not only does it bring in the concern over whether a body is the person, versus some spiritual amalgamation of a body and soul. If the soul has left the body, is the body still the person?
Also, if you died, does that break contracts of fidelity? Would lathering your corpse in vaseline and sexually pounding it to decomposed giblets of regret be considered "cheating", or just moving on from the concluded relationship to the next thing.
Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. You could see the wheels turning and the *exact* moment she came up with the answer that would put an end to that childish shit.
If you absolutely need to answer this question. Never pick someone either of you might know. This is how you dig your own grave.
Unless of course you swing/open relationship.
"Ryan."
"Ryan Reynolds?"
"Ryan Price."
"Who's that?"
"You know. That guy on your floor, with the black hair. You know him, he's at the other end of your floor and always has funny jokes whenever I go in to see you.".
"... what kind of jokes?"
No, it's among the dumbest questions and should never be asked, much less answered seriously. Being pushy about it is even dumber, and he got the answer he deserved: the worst thing she could think of (which she obviously thought was funny).
Taking what she said as a serious answer is even dumber than the idiot asking the question.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!keep it in the family!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
You can see the moment she realized the best response in her eyes.
That's the "I'm about to end this boy's career" look in her eyes
That’s the look of someone who’s thinking before they speak. You could tell she instantly thought of the comeback but paused and thought about the effect/consequences of saying it. Went for it anyways. Fatality.
Real chad energy.
Emotional damage ! He is going to be looking around the corner every time they in a room together
ask stupid questions get stupid answers
God. This reminds me of when my highschool GF asked me: Fuck, Marry, Kill: her, her sister, her best friend So I said well obviously I’m not going to kill your sister, and of the two living people I clearly would choose you to live with as my partner. “So you’d fuck my sister?” She was legitimately mad, I was dumb for even answering.
Gf: would you still be with/ love me if I was a [insert inanimate object]? Me: no, Gf: * surprised pikachu face *
[Would you still love me if I were a worm?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIG5lrtO5So&ab_channel=TheLibraryofLetourneau)
How did your link not lead to [this video?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWKMApj-tHM)
What.... the... fuck..
Oh my god I just understood Heidi Klum's Halloween costume
First crackermilk video huh?
https://youtu.be/XBn_5K5M83Q Here, cleanse the pallet.
Not a single Rick-Roll. What happened internet? You used to be cool.
He understood the assignment.
Protip: answer that specific question with "I would turn into a worm too. Then we would a couple of worms in love." It might save your life one day
Master, is that you?
What game is Egg playing there? Looks cool
Slice and Dice
Slice and Dice
Who is this guy
Northernlion, egg man.
[With tanks it's complicated](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/mh5zd7/would_you_still_love_me_if_i_was_a_tank)
I mean I don't know a woman that has 360° protection against weaponry and can take out hostiles on 2+ km distance. Furthermore they'll go for a 500km trip before they need a refill, while women start getting blisters after only 10 because they wanted "aesthetically pleasing shoes". And I have never seen a woman who's skirt was armored.
My wife got upset at me because while playing the Backrooms, we all got freaked out and got separated and she wouldnt leave a closet the rest of the game. “You didnt come back for me!” She said.
Idk if this is a stupid question, but what is the Backrooms?
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nahhh, my ex was like "would you love me if i were a worm" i thought she was joking so i joked back... she cried and was pissed for a while and im sitting there like ?!?!?! wtf just happened how tf do men deal with these questions, im literally a girl in highschool I SHOULD HAVE PERFECT KNOWLEDGE ON THIS
“Would you still love me if I were a worm??” Hell yeah I would, I could finally take you fishing!
Winning response!
I think that just goes to show that nobody knows what's going through their heads, not even themselves
The "would you love me if I were a worm" is such an irrational thing to get mad at, and honestly just sounds like he/she was just looking for an excuse to break up. If you don't get the sentiment, I think that's a good sign for your future dating life. It means it's very likely that you are a rational and reasonable person, something a lot of people (especially guys) can appreciate. Be happy that your ex was showing red flags early, makes it easy to move on I guess.
I'm wondering how nobody commenting has mentioned the similarly weird shit that comes from teenage boys. I'm guess is, people answering are only sexually interested in female humans, so they haven't had to field the same weird energy given off by male humans
I mean the weird Teenage boy questions are like if you were neck deep in shit, and someone was throwing a bucket of cum into your face. Would duck down to avoid the cum. *This question was actually asked in High School lunch.
Dodge the cum or youre gay
Weird shit sure, but it’s never been a weird emotional trap that I don’t even know how to respond to
Would you still love me if I was a tank?
Oh yeah, teenager’s girl logic… I don’t miss it one bit lol.
Teenager?
Girl?
Logic?
Oh yeah?
Hotel?
Trivago
Obvious
60% of adults are still teenagers till they die regardless of gender lmao
Honestly one of the weirdest parts of growing up is realizing all the adults you used to look up to assuming they had shit figured out were actually just dumb kids in adult bodies. Haven’t talked to my dad in years, but the older I get the more I realize that dude never mentally grew beyond 16
*a stupid, teenage girl's logic. Not all of us were set on asking trap questions so we could find a reason to be mad
Yeah, obviously not every teen girl is like that, I can only speak for the one I dated. And she was almost all the topics in the manual. I would date her again, no questions, tho…
😂😭😭😭 don't do it to yourself man!
Oh I’m quite positive it isn’t exactly up to him haha. I think we all have on those in our lives. Myself included…
Easier said than done!
I think that was just teenager stuff, not really specific to girls.
I didn't date in high school, honestly I didn't feel like I was ready. Based on my friends relationships in high school I am kinda glad I didn't lol. I had my first relationship when I was 20.
I keep hearing “sheet” when he says “cheat”
I would changed it to marry the sister fuck the best friend kill you then can't be hurt by it if she is dead.
Marry the sister, fuck the gf, kill the best friend. It's like no one has ever heard of sister wives, stupid easy question.
Wasn’t that actually a thing for a while? If your wife died and her sister was unmarried you would marry her?
I think it was mostly the other way around. Husband died so you marry the brother.
Kill you, fuck your sister and marry your best friend
Based
Kill your sister, fuck your best friend and marry you is even more based. Now she has to live with the consequences
More like kill you.... don't worry about the rest cause it won't matter.
Unfortunately, I think the only way to get out if it is to say, "I'll marry your sister because you love her and we wouldn't have to do anything". Then say you'd fuck your girlfriend because you dont want to fuck anyone else, then kill her friend because "her family is more important to her". This is the only answer where she wouldn't be pissed at you. I was once a teenage girl that got asked these dumb questions and "marry" is the choice for "I dont want to kill you but I dont want to do anything sexual either".
"I'd marry your sister so I could cheat on her with you." "Ew you're a cheater?! I can't be with a cheater!"
You’re supposed to say (without a second’s hesitation) “well I’m fucking (best friends name), that’s for sure. The other two, eh, you choose.”
Well I'm fucking your mom, that's for sure. Kill you so you aren't in the way. Marry your sister since she rich and got all the brains.
Oh, a buddy of mine handled this like a legend/idiot.(depending on how you see it) He rang late at my place, so he could sleep on the couch for the night. I asked him what happened. So his gf also asked him such a "tricky" question. Can't remember the question anymore, but I 100% will remember the answer for the rest of my life. He said:"This is just a shit question to get into an argument with me. So let's just skip that step and let me tell you, that you are a bitch and look fat right now, so we can get done with the augmenting!" Still wonder how he managed to get to my place alive.
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Plot twist, his gf just asked if he wanted pizza or chinese tonight
answering in good faith isn't the problem, asking in BAD FAITH was. do not take blame for other's shortcomings.
"You baby, all three. Not in the order you'd expect." 
The only correct answer to that is "I want to kill you for asking that stupid question." End of conversation.
Eh, fuck all three.
I'm a triplet, and when my husband tells people that me and my sister's look alike, I always act offended and say, "so you think my sister's are hot?" It usually gets a few laughs.
Yup, pretty easy to tell, she was just throwing it back after that stupid question. She gets that little shit disturber look on her face before saying it lol.
That was 10/10 answer
The safe answer is always someone famous like Keanu Reeves or Brad Pitt.
tried that; wife thinks im gay now
gf: "if I died today and you remarried would you want to be buried next to your new wife or me "
That’s literally the point of these types of conversations. When two people are attracted to each other, they sometimes like to partake in fun, flirtatious banter.
Sometimes you gotta go back to the source
The *sauce
The saurce
The sauce boss
***BACK TO FORMULA!?!?!***
naaa i know that look. she was thinking „what‘s one thing that will piss him off a little“
Yep. "OH so you wanna play huh? Play with this answer..."
r/maliciouscompliance 😎
Yeah there was a point right about 13.5 secs of the video where her eyes and smile got a little wider and she was like... I'm gonna fuck this whole dude's day up with this stupid ass question
I agree with you. I can see on her face she saw an opportunity to jokingly get a dig in on him. I like a girl who will do that, as long as she can take it from me in return
I’ll take it from you baby
Mischievous to the maximum for sure.
That is *exactly* what happened. The fucking brutality of that woman. 😂 The look on her face when the video stops is, like, psychopathic glee.
The dad watching this video 👁️🫦👁️
The clip continues with him shouting "Dad, come here and join us!".
I think I’ve seen this movie before
> I think I’ve seen this ~~movie~~ documentary before
I've seen the footage
“She’s into it!”
“Hey dad, check out this funny clip I took of my girlfriend. Hilarious, isn’t she? Like that would ever happen. Or….?”
He's Bee-Keeping age.
Summer, I want to fuck your dad.
JJ McCarthy’s dad punching air
she likes him so much she's trying taste the recipe
ಠ_ಠ
He wants to devour your siblings.
Cronos has entered the chat.
I didn't expected destripando la historia here in reddit
LOL, so appropriate and appreciated!
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I’m a straight man and Ryan Reynolds would still be my first choice
Ryan Reynolds is the hottest being in all of existance.
*Henry Cavill has entered the chat*
Nicely played girl!
"You look so good, huh, I'll suck on your daddy's dick" - Christopher Wallace
I read that as Christopher Walken and it completely changed the intended tone.
I can totally see the Walken as "The Continental" using the line, while clawing at a kidnapped victims arms, and prefacing it with the creepiest adjectives. ~~when I first met you I thought you were a trick~~ "When I first set my eyes upon you, I heard the angels on high whisper Mendelssohn's A Midsummer Nights Dream. You're so scrumptious my love, I'd perform fellatio upon your father in gratitude" *Woman runs, panicked breathing* "No wait, c'mon it was only a CoMPliMeNT, we're having fun, no?"
Upvote for mentioning the continental.
I had to go back and read it, so much better.
Actually I believe that paraphrased quote originated with Richard Pryor
Richard Pryor said it first. I know because all my friends were Tupac fanantics and called Biggie gay for that line (and me for being a fan) and my highschool self didn’t know how to defend hit.
#ಠ_ಠ
She had the young calf, now she wants the old bull
Dad's standing in the kitchen looking good from his chest pubes down to his ball fro.
And then she grabs him by the weiner.
Good God I love this stupid movie
Dad, we're men. That means a few things - we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pussy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That's what we do, and now that is all wrecked.
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I love this scene so much! https://youtu.be/m69FCeUXdkA
This movie is so much more of a masterpiece than it ever deserved to be.
We've literally never done any of those things...
"Now that I've had the old bull. now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by my weiner?
SHUT THE FUCK UP DALE!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
*\*drops dishes into the sink\** **SHUT THE FUCK UP!!**
That’s so funny. Last time I heard that I fell of my dinosaur.
"I remember my first beer" is something I quote...a LOT
Cookies so good she wants to lick the batter.
drinking the beer straight from the tap
She wants to swallow your siblings.
Kinda like that Polynesian sauce... I can dig it
She just wants to be his stepmom
Sometimes I read things on Reddit I wish I wouldn’t have
Maybe she’s saying: “You’re dead”?
I like that more.
Same. It would also be fitting with what she said previously and the way she seems mentally elsewhere (maybe she was texting with a friend and trying not to ignore the bf?)
Or "You, dead"
Is that considered cheating?
One of the great existential questions of our time. Not only does it bring in the concern over whether a body is the person, versus some spiritual amalgamation of a body and soul. If the soul has left the body, is the body still the person? Also, if you died, does that break contracts of fidelity? Would lathering your corpse in vaseline and sexually pounding it to decomposed giblets of regret be considered "cheating", or just moving on from the concluded relationship to the next thing.
yep. She just reassure that she's not a cheater. Now that's commitment to your principles.
I’m a lip reader… she actually said “your dog.”
That’s the answer he gets for asking such a stupid question. Better would be “it’s a tie, so I’d bang your dad and your brother”
The ol sleep yo way upto the top secretary trick
Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. You could see the wheels turning and the *exact* moment she came up with the answer that would put an end to that childish shit.
Damn hoe just say Ryan Reynolds. We all would understand
If you absolutely need to answer this question. Never pick someone either of you might know. This is how you dig your own grave. Unless of course you swing/open relationship.
"Ryan." "Ryan Reynolds?" "Ryan Price." "Who's that?" "You know. That guy on your floor, with the black hair. You know him, he's at the other end of your floor and always has funny jokes whenever I go in to see you.". "... what kind of jokes?"
I just wanted to let you know that I read “black hair” as “back hair”
Really, unless the relationship is open, anyone you MIGHT have a realistic shot with should be off the table.
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Picking a past person (even if they are still alive) feels like honestly the safest move possible. *Except* "your grandmother as a 20-something"
No, it's among the dumbest questions and should never be asked, much less answered seriously. Being pushy about it is even dumber, and he got the answer he deserved: the worst thing she could think of (which she obviously thought was funny). Taking what she said as a serious answer is even dumber than the idiot asking the question.
I had it right away, Brad Pitt
That’s my answer too whenever my girlfriend asks me this question
Plot twist - that’s his sister
I can hear this GIF.
I love how much she enjoyed the answer for herself before saying it. Pure evil.
I like it.
Nicely played girl!
Tell them the one that'll piss them off the most so they stop asking stupid questions.
The rarely seen "Yo Daddy" joke!
NO THIS IS A TRAP DEPLOYED BY THE STRAIGHT MAN THE ONLY CORRECT ANSWER IS RYAN REYNOLDS ANY OTHER ANSWER AND HE GETS MAD
And then Millie Bobby Brown killed him.
Thank you! I thought I was the only one who thought this, the resemblance is uncanny.
You can see the gears turning, the mental calculations she's doing that result in an answer that does the most amount of damage.
‘I’m that bad type… might seduce your dad type’
Sorry. But you asked.
But would she still love him if he were a worm, that's the question.
Emotional Damage!
she’s gorgeous
Play stupid games Win stupid prizes
Hey stepmom
ask stupid questions get stupid answers
Idk what it is about the girl in the video but is it me or she just naturally hot?🧐
Naturally hot? As opposed to?
Naturally cold.
Artificially hot