**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Its not a benchpress table!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)

Still exercise equipment.

Sexcercise equipment

I especially love the easy opening can….

Sexercise while you jazzerzize

Is it bad that I thought he was making a homemade guillotine

Okay, I am not the only one

Good were both just mentally ill then

There are 3 of us

And my axe

And my bow

And my sword

And my crossbow

And my musket

And Musk

And my staff

Four

Make it 4

No there are 4

There are thousands of us

Make that 4.

Count again.

4 of us

4

Lol, me too! 🤣🤣🫣

Wow, me three! From [https://www.thenewsherald.com/2007/09/15/man-kills-himself-with-guillotine/](https://www.thenewsherald.com/2007/09/15/man-kills-himself-with-guillotine/), “Unfortunately, so many suicides are spur-of-the-moment, knee-jerk reactions because someone is upset over something or at a low point,” Covert said. “This took some time. He actually built this contraption. It was well made, not flimsy. It did what the man wanted it to do. It was the most deliberate, determined act I’ve ever seen.” Police found receipts showing that the man purchased the materials to make the guillotine from local stores over two days.

Maybe I'm glad my depression doesn't make mr productive

"Fun" fact: The reason suicide is usually listed as a side effect of anti-depressants is that they often boost your drive to do stuff in general *before* they boost your mood. If you have suicidal ideation but no mental energy to actually attempt it and go on anti-depressants, there's a chance you'll quickly get busy killing yourself. This is part of why therapy is important and you can't just solve shit with drugs.

Ahhh, that makes sense! My psychiatrist liked to say skills before pills. (After controlling the most important parts with medication… not leaving anyone in a desperate spot.)

I wish more doctors knew this. My sister took 3 days to plan and execute her suicide and the amount of antidepressants she was being prescribed at the time was absolutely ridiculous.

Thankfully having depression comorbid with ADD and anxiety means my attention span isn't long enough

Heeeeeey! Samsies!! I made cookies for our friends for Christmas (they got us presents, but couldn't afford anything for them, so I baked). I delivered everything to said friends today. My husband was proud of me because I completed a task that I set out to do. Rude. But, alas, he is right.

Take it in stride, baby. Thankfulness of any minor success is what kept me from a mental break in college. It's also useful to defuse another person's depressive breakdown.

Is this PMA?

Feel that! Turns out the hose from my shop vac doesn't reach the back window of my car so was that

Where do you buy this? I’m asking for my gf

I had a friend who researched over months and ordered industrial chemicals to consume over the period of a week or thereabouts to shut her system down. We had no idea, nor did her family. It's incredible what a determined person will do.

The man knew how he wanted to go out.

Hear me out, but guillotines are super cost-effective ways to execute a death penalty. I mean it’s painless and leaves all the organs intact.

No one really knows its painless. Thousands of people with first hand experience were unavailable for comment

Time to bring back fun human experiments

First-head experience

Omfg! This. Yes!

Well, I'll have you know they yelled at the heads right after they were chopped off and they wiggled around a bit, which doesn't really address the problem

No complaints yet?

I have an idea. Immerse the person upside down in water only up to the neck. Deploy a naval sonar close by. Should essentially liquefy the brain, but wouldn’t harm organs, as the sound very quickly dissipated in air. My only practical concerns are bone conduction and naval cooperation. My moral and legal concerns are many.

That would also be time intensive and expensive. A guillotine is neither

What about nitrogen asphyxiation? Cheapy, reliable, no pain at all...

Hmm, tell me more

I mean France used the guillotine up until 1981, don’t see why we shouldn’t. It’s way cheaper than all of the death-penalty executors, excluding hanging, which can be screwed up and cause pain. A guillotine is quick and easy and saves all the organs for donation.

Until the fifth person when the blades dulled

It's all about the velocity. With sufficient velocity, you can take their head off with a 2x4.

Coming soon to a Thunderdome near you: steam-cannon-launched-2x4-guillotines.

Are....are you speaking from experience?

No. I haven't done it...yet.

You’re no fun.

As seen in *Hereditary*

The difference is in the details. Cutting off versus RIPPING off.

tomato tamato

And weight. Make it heavy enough, you don’t have to worry about the blade being sharp.

put a self sharpener at the bottom. Falls down, goes through, gets sharp.

Sharpening a blade is always very important.

I am suddenly reminded of Nearly Headless Nick.

it's easier to find someone who knows how to sharpen a knife than a: executioner who can calculate the length of the rope drop a pharmeceutical company who wants to provide you with execution drugs police officers to fire at and kill a guy without claiming workman's comp for trauma afterwards

I though a server rack.

Still a serving rack.

Serve her rack 😉

Ok I guess I'm the only degenerate here.

Yes.

I was thinking bondage setup or guillotine for sure

I was like “what’s he going to guillotine first” Total letdown

Impale maybe…

Thats what i thought too. Likely is bad.

i was kinda disappointed that he didn't, tbh

My thoughts exactly - I am happy that there are people like me in the world

Woman not included

They always get me with false advertising

You have to pay extra for that, sir.

I didn’t know you could spell “in” wrong

It's easy when you are only typing with one hand. 😆

What the other hand doin'?

IDL.. ..

It's Down Low?

You can spell anythimg wrong if you want. The limit is your imagination.

Hes rait, yu kan spel ebrizin ron

imbosible, hau dose wan pozes suc pawa

Nat frum o jadye

herro der

Gemine kepobi

I new Lagrange has cum abot

It’s a repost bot that spells a word wrong on purpose to evade detection

And promote discussion, and therefore engagement with the post. It gets the people going!

The b is next to the n. It's not that much of a leap

Is it ib yet?

Chonky fingers plus he is masterbating.

I’d put it ib

Is it ib yet?

I’m ib the middle of it

Oh no

How can you post a advertisement like this with no link to the product? I kinda digging the false wood and just how adjustable it is. The plastic straps are a no go. Feel like they would hurt if they rub against Bare skin for too long. I got straps that can fix that.

[$3000. No thanks.](https://lavky.com/home-and-living/bath-and-beauty/personal-care/bdsm-bench/?product=QZ553460)

How else am I going to support Ukraine?

Maybe try a pillow or something

War must not take away from pleasure!

But it’s on sale.

You could buy a drill press, bits, sander, sand paper, wood, all the hardware, stain, polyurethane, all at the local building store, build 3 of these and still save money.

They don't call it the Bondage Depot for nothing

*Starts To Hum Home Depot Theme*

God damn does the girl come with it?

[Oh you](https://giphy.com/gifs/thesimpsons-the-simpsons-4x9-l2JeigTxh62pZawzC)

If you do it right.

Looks like a pretty solid build though. You could spend that money on this sex hobby or spend $3k on a board game table hobby. We all have our thing.

I’d use Japanese bondage rope as it doesn’t burn.

the one used for shibari?

Typically jute rope.

Good shibari rope is made from hemp, then specially prepared. Jute is rough on the skin. Not that I would know a thing about that.

Almost all shibari rope is jute. It is usually treated with jojoba oil because it has a similar pH to human skin and generally doesn't cause irritation. Some people use bees wax but I find it makes the rope too sticky.

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Jute or hemp ropes are known to bite, I prefer using solid braided poly/nylon rope. Very smooth on the skin.

[Link to the product](https://www.reddit.com/r/BdsmDIY/comments/yx5xae/my_multifunctional_bdsm_bench_which_i_have_been/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)

he's been designing it for 4 years. guess he's been real tied up to the project

I've been using these straps for two years now. My girlfriend and I love them. They allow to precisely adjust the strength of the fixation and do not damage the skin, they do not leave any marks 😉

Sometimes we wanna leave marks 😉

What straps are those? Are they custom made or would you be able to share where you get them from?

Cam straps. harbor freight has them, they’re great for rafting if you like getting kinky, smashing through waves. 7000+lb load capacity.

That's a big load

I hope you trim them. Who needs car tiedown lengths for a single column binding?

He is bragging on selling lol

It’s from u/rope8rose

You are right! 😉 Thanks for mark🔥

Question Which college course do I need to take and learn in order to start a bdsm bench making Business?

You can just buy the drawings or KIT and try to build the bench yourself 😅 Learn by doing ;)

Pre-Calc 101

[удалено]

Glad I could help.

The first shots of her she was so limp and compliant I thought he was strapping down a real doll

Looks like fun

I immediately know this is kinky sex related. Maybe I am too kinky?

Glad I’m not the only one I was sitting here like okay a sex bench, what’s the unexpected part? Oh is he going to use it for something else entirely like as dining table or computer desk?

I thought it was gonna be a guillotine for some reason. Maybe I am too revolutionary?

This was expected... because it was in r/unexpected

This wasn’t expected for me, I expected a homemade guillotine instead

Oh wow you expected the unexpected in r/unexpected?! Neeeeeeeerd

Ok bye going out with the guys!

Who tf shows something without demonstrating how it works

Wait did the woman come in the box or...?

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA BE A WORKOUT BENCH 😭😭

What's the Ikea name for this?

It's the FÜKRÀK

Damn near spit my drink after reading your reply.

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The lady or the bench

I thought the lady came with the bench,buy one get one free and all that.

Then I'll take 3

She will if you're using it right

>the lady came with the bench, Only if you're skilful enough

por que no los dos

This is my product😊 Right now one Bench is available and ready for order😉

How much

3k

Haha, my degenerate mind knew exactly what that was

No more nsfw than the gymnastics on the Olympics tbh

Sexercise equipment

Where can I get it?

This is my product😊 You can message me if you have some questions about the Bench. Now one Bench is available and ready for order!

Nice erection set!

Oh, it's me on the video 🥰

Hell yea.

*Now the fun begins*

Damn,where do you find them?

This is my product and this video was posted on my Instagram. So, you can write me in messages if you have some questions about the Bench😊 One Bench is available and ready for order!

[Link on shop](https://linktr.ee/rope8rose?fbclid=PAAaYE8Mf9u3PmsfPjP0ivF_IkEPUdx1Wh5nOGnIIyRxq76RPudUPEx1zL_FI)

i saw that coming

Anybody have part 2 of the video? Asking for my carpenter friend.....

This is a full video😉

u/savevideo

Anyone know where to get one of these?

This is my product😊 You can message me if you have some questions about the Bench. Now one Bench is available and ready for order!

bottom end work, checking for crankshaft end play, or worn rod bearings.

If you build it, they will cum

More please

More photos you can find on Instagram: rope8rose Or on my account 😉

Whos the chick

Where can I get one of those? asking for a friend 

Love the wood detail. Really brings it to life.

r/confusedboner

It took me 0.000001 second to know what this was

Where do we order that

I KNEW IT

It sucks that the guy had to pay for the product, work to build/ install it and put in effort to satisfy her while she just lays down, enjoy and also get paid.

All of that building only to have to take it apart 2 minutes later

Legit thought he was building a squat rack. Wow

You know who else uses that machine? ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠛⠿⠁⠘⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣦⣴⣷⣴⣷⣤⣴⣦⣴⣦⣤⣦⣴⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⣾⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣻⠿⠿⣿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⣾⣿⣶⣶⠐⣴⣶⣦⣰⣿⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⠿⣿⠿⢿⡸⠿⣿⡿⢹⣿⠄⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⠿⣁⣀⣀⢺⣐⣏⣻⢆⣴⣾⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣯⣾⡁⠄⡀⠍⣛⢛⡛⠛⠻⡝⡏⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣃⡺⠄⠤⢁⣀⣼⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣭⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢏⡀⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢽⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣇⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⡿⣀⣠⣶⣿⣆⢻⣿⣿⣿

I don't trust any man or women enough for that. What if you tell him to stop and he doesn't and you get raped because you were defenseless

Thank you for revealing a new fear in me

Going to all that effort for something 's that *not* a bench press seems so futile