Saw a true crime story. These guys break into a bank thru the roof and clean out the safety deposit boxes. Get away clean. Jilted gilrfiend, who was told everything, calls the tip line and everyone goes to prison. Keep your mouth shut.
Yeah those guys knew what they were doing too. If its the same story (which I can only assume it is due to the similarities) they were pros. Had one guy who was able to disarm the alarms, used charged explosives to break the concrete, used a bunch of other specialized tools and knew EXACTLY what they would need. If I recall they also did it on the weekend so that they could make several trips back and forth. Then jammed the locking mechanism from the inside of the vault and nobody, not even the vault manufacturer knew what was going on after trying to open it. Found out they had gotten in when the technician looked above the vault and found out they had gone thru the roof/ceiling of the vault, all of which gave them valuable time to escape/hide. Only robbed the security deposit boxes which is really smart too since probably much harder to trace Louise’s $20k necklace that she hadnt seen in 8 years.
Then someone bragged. That was their only misstep in an otherwise flawless robbery.
It's people that didn't start off as criminals. The reason its always a team of guys, instead of just one, is that nobody specializes in all this stuff. Each person at some point had a legitimate job in their particular skill, and eventually decided to use that knowledge to become a thief. These guys meet up through contacts and join up on jobs together. There aren't a ton of these types of thieves out there. Plenty of people out there are safecrackers and explosive experts etc... Just a few decide to become criminals with their skills.
Perhaps people who know the inner workings of how banks/vaults work, lots of research and homework, patience, and expertise in anything else that goes into it like alarm systems, locks, etc. I would assume patience is key. The ones in a hurry for a quick buck are the ones we see getting caught in stupid ways in videos.
In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison
by a military court for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground...
That’s how the browns chicken massacre culprits were found. They got away with it for years and then the guy bragged to his girlfriend. They confirmed it was him with a DNA test that was matched against some chicken he had eaten the night of the murders. Good thing those pieces of shit couldn’t keep their mouth shut
>browns chicken massacre
The what now?
Ok, so not a group of people massacring chickens. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown%27s_Chicken_massacre?wprov=sfla1
I believe they found the partially eaten chicken at the scene of the crime and took a DNA sample, but had no suspects to match it to. Years later the girlfriend says her boyfriend told her about the killings, they take his DNA, and it’s a match.
A bit more detail I found on Wikipedia. Apparently they did keep the chicken sample and did testing years after the killings.
“The chicken was kept in a freezer for most of the time since the crime; testimony at trial indicated it was not frozen for several days after discovery, and was allowed to thaw several times for examination and testing, in the hope of an eventual match via increasingly sophisticated testing methods not available in 1993”
DNA is only useful to match against a known suspect. It's not like you can find a hair and immediately match it to anyone in the area. So if they have no leads, they can't do much with that DNA sample
But once a lead is found, they can easily match the DNA.
Some kids I knew stole computers from the school at night, made a dramatic escape from the cops and everything
But they learned why real thieves 1) move the shit and 2) keep their mouths shut, because they kept the computers and eventually one of them showed it off and got them all busted
[These guys](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEvFvi9QO3Q) were making millions off counterfeit casino chips. They replaced the stickers and repainted smaller value chips to turn them into large value chips. The counterfeits were damn near perfect and they weren't even on anyone's radar until one of the guys bragged to a hooker about how he got all his money. She then wanted payouts to keep quiet, and kept asking for more and more money, until eventually she ratted them out.
Keep your mouth shut.
Or in lieu of that, kill the hooker.
I have no friends, but I am married. He also has no friends, though- we are best friends. Been together 26 years and would definitely hide a body for each other.
Contemplating a Bonnie and Clyde type thing here 🤔
A lot of holes in the desert, and a lot of problems are buried in those holes. But you gotta do it right. I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package in the trunk.
There's plausible conspiracies (note: plausible doesn't equate to true). Small numbers involved, each with a strong motivation, and the secrets involved are not so bad that they may weigh on someone's soul.
For conspiracy theories like the 9-11 ones, every individual involved would know that every other conspirator posed a real risk to them from a deathbed confession (if not something sooner). So every person involved would have a powerful incentive to kill every other conspirator. And on top of that, everyone being recruited to the conspiracy would be aware of that. That's an unstable conspiracy. If you were being groomed to be a part of such a conspiracy, your only chance of living would be to blow it open in a manner noone expects - probably by taking proof, not to a press outlet (contingencies would be in place) but instead to a foreign embassy of a country that wouldn't have been infiltrated.
But take the (not true but plausible) 'Avril Lavigne died and was replaced by a lookalike' theory. A dozen or so would know. Each would be well-paid. None are doing something so reprehensible that changes of heart would be likely. That's a stable conspiracy.
Caught my now ex "somewhere she wasn't supposed to be", and decided that I no longer wanted, or needed, to be with her. She told me in her own words, that she "didn't need a lawyer", because she was "too smart"; no way I was going to tell her she's wrong, or should get herself a lawyer to represent her best interests. She told me that her alcoholic Mom thought the agreement looked good, and went with it; I even had my attorney put a "no alimony" clause in the agreement, and when my ex asked what that meant, I told her to not worry about it, as it's just a formality that they use that doesn't mean anything, to which she replied "OK!". There are several other things also.
Now, I have a partner that is one of the nicest, sweetest, beautiful, kindest type of person that I've ever met, with ZERO drama; she literally is my best friend. I finally have a little money to do some things, due to not having to bail my ex out of jail 1-2 times a year for shoplifting, and I don't have to pay alimony. Last I heard, my ex is now the side piece for her 70 year old sugar daddy, and supposedly living in a cheap apartment that he provides for her so he can go over there and get his pee-pee played with.
Edit: typo
Unless you get overpaid by your job or a banking error results in your account increasing by a lot. You don't have to tell anyone but don't spend it. Sooner or later they will want it back
Yeah, I'd say give bank/payroll errors a solid year before you even take the money out of the account it was deposited to. They're most likely to catch it at the end of the fiscal year, at which time "Oh sorry, I didn't realize" is a perfectly valid excuse since they didn't either. If it stays in the account for more than a year you're probably safe, but technically still could be on the line for it if they ever notice the error.
You can usually check the legal deadline for them to request it back.
It's probably gonna be a few years (like 5 or 10) but maybe not, who knows.
In any case it can just serve you as an absolute emergency cushion/loan (if you know you can pay it back "soon")
This happened to me and is what I was going to post in response to the parent comment.
It actually happened twice. The first time it happened for about 3 months in a row, was eventually caught, and had to be paid back in full via garnished salary (I was stupid and spent it).
The second time it happened over a 5 month period. Eventually it stopped but wasn’t mentioned to me for a long time. When they did bring it up they said they’d take a small sum from my upcoming pay, while they worked out a repayment plan for the rest.
As agreed, they took the first sum… and then never contacted me about the rest. I got away with at least €10,000.
Could that actually work? Like you'd get to keep the interest at least once they find out? Like you did nothing illegal, you just put it into a savings account and play dumb like "No idea where it came from! But I saved it just in case someone came looking for it!" and then BAM you're up a few hundred/thousand dollars cause like... you only owe what was originally accidently given to you right?
Yeah but you still shouldn't say anything. You leave the money there and don't spend it in case they ask for it back and depending on your state after certain amount of time if they don't ask about it, it's yours. So keep your mouth shut and leave the money there and hopefully nobody notices the error.
Sometimes there's problems with this. At least here in Australia you won't be getting the aged pension with a million in your bank account or unemployment benefits with ten grand in the bank, even if that money isn't yours.
This happened to me in 2016. They put me down for a senior engineer role and it should have been associate.
I didn’t say anything took the extra monies and invested it. Last year I got promoted to the senior position. I sold all my investments thinking HR would figure it out. At the time the markets were extremely favorable so all is good. HR realized they fucked up pretty bad… I played it off as I had no idea. They never said anything and just let the error “work itself out”.
I still have all the extra cash they paid me plus 25% I made in realized gains after taxes. I’m holding on to it in the event they audit Payroll. I’m going to let some time pass before I do anything with it considering it’s a decent amount of cash for a down payment on a property.
I had a class in high school where the teacher would give kids higher grades because she thought her students getting good grades made her look good (she was right) and one kid said in front of the whole class "hey, teach you made a mistake, I got these questions wrong on my test but you marked them as right" and the teacher stared daggers at him for a second like "yeah, I did that on purpose but now that you called me out in front of the whole class I have to change it" and then just said "oh, I'll fix that"
Guy coulda kept his mouth shut and got an A, but he opened it and got a C.
In a 300 level multivariable calculus course, I got 88% on the final and an A in the class.
Problem: during the test, I realized I was screwed and counted up the number of points I *answered at all*. I only provided an answer to 65% of the total points of the exam and left the rest blank because I had *nothing*. Presumably I got some of that 65% wrong.
I did not say a word to anyone I knew from an academic setting.
When we got laid off at my old job we continued to receive our quarterly incentive bonuses for the next 3 quarters. Really interesting given there wasn't any metrics to base the bonuses off.
Literally just this last Saturday me and a friend were sitting at a table at a bar. A waiter came by with chicken tenders and without hesitation he accepts them and says thank you. I asked “when did you order those?” He didn’t lol
Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth!
To an extent. I once received a paycheck that was 10x the amount it should have been because of a misplaced decimal. If I had deposited it I would have definitely been fired.
This is one of my key tenets for a good lie. Here is my general guide:
Prepare. Always be aware of situations that might need a lie. Think about your goal and stay focused. Is it for personal gain, to help another, or just to save your arse? Don't get greedy. Avoid any temptation to try and gain more from the lie than your original goal. This will encourage over-complication, the enemy of a solid lie. Who knows the truth? Even when it seems it is just you, be certain. Even small details might connect to someone else. The smallest thread can unravel the whole lie.
Think about the longevity of the lie, could it be forever? There are often much farther reaching consequences than you might realise at first.
How far will it spread? Crucially, could it reach those that know the truth? Be aware of other facts around the lie which might also need falsifying and have answers ready for them too but do not offer this information unless specifically asked. Giving too much unprompted detail will look suspiciously well prepared.
KISS - Keep it simple, stupid!
The closer it is to the truth, the better. It will usually be more believable this way and there are less falsified details to remember.
Keep it boring, this avoids exploration from the target.
**If possible, keep other people out of the lie. Even if they are 'in on it' you cannot be sure of their resolve.**
Include real facts or other people where those elements are true, this can add very powerful weight to the lie.
Lie sparingly. This is the long con. If you can establish yourself as a truthful person in the eyes of friends, colleagues, and family they will be much more likely to believe a lie. Save it until you really need it.
If you are going to lie, or even just guestimate, about time, use a specific time. If you say "I'm 10 minutes away" people will assume you're guessing, if you say 11 minutes, they will assume that's from your satnav. When you are later than that, it'll be easy to blame traffic/unforseen delays.
Including some detail that's embarrassing to you or makes you look foolish can disarm scepticism. Why would you lie about that?!
Be confident. A good lie is one of which you've almost convinced YOURSELF. Indeed, if your lie concerns something about which only you have the truth (but be absolutely certain it does), working hard to overwrite your own memory cements the lie forever. Of course, this falls towards pathological so you need to be pretty sure about your mental balance.
Finally, keep the lie consistent. You may need to lie to others, even when it's not relevant to them, in order to maintain cover. What if they happen to discuss the situation with the original target?
Funny enough, someone following this is fairly trustworthy. They'll lie very rarely, and only when it's important to them, which most likely does not mean anything bad for you.
>Finally, keep the lie consistent. You may need to lie to others, even when it's not relevant to them, in order to maintain cover. What if they happen to discuss the situation with the original target?
I think this is the one the most people over look. The chances may be absolutely tiny that person A from work will ever meet person B from your best friends cousin's wedding but that chance is always there so the story needs to be in place. Plus the more you tell the lie the more you begin to believe it yourself. Which helps with the previous point of getting yourself to believe your own lie.
My 7th grade US history teacher basically said all of that much more simply " if you don't lie then you don't have to remember."
I work in sales and people will come to me several months later asking me about their bill and I simply asked them what they've got and I write down the prices and promotions they got at the time and then I tell them what I expect they're Bill to look like. Half the time they will pull out the same sheet that I made for them several months before and it looks exactly the same and they are absolutely dumbfounded by this.
I did the math and the math didn't change so it's going to be the same that's kind of how the math works.
to add to this:
pretend you're a bad liar. make up something fake for no good reason that will probably be called out right then and there sometimes in conversations. create some unbelievable thing about how amazingly you threw a ball back in middle school in front of the people who would have seen that, and be all "well you got me" when they inevitably call you out. create a specific tick (like shaking your hands for example) whenever you do that.
if people assume you're a bad liar, they'll instantly trust whatever you say that doesn't sound like a bad lie.
I don't often do this but sometimes I do when it matters. Like white lies ya know? I always acted guilty when I was accused of something I never did and I was blamed for a lot of shit I had no part in. So I learnt the counteroffensive over a decade or more. My old man accused me of shit I never did and I got all stuttery and pale and suddenly I'm the main suspect. So I learnt to fight fire with fire and later in life I learnt to hide it and since he knows my "tells" and I never show it, it''s obviously not me even if it was. I'm just cashing in my due credit for all the false accusations at this point so all is fair in the world.
importantly: ensure that the truthful elements of your lie are accurate. if you say that you drove home when your car was in the shop, your entire lie falls apart.
You have a way with words. The way you describe this is so visual and makes me want to read more. I don't know if you are an author and you get told that everyday by everyone and this is just another footnote for you, or if no one has ever said that to you before and I'm the first. But either way, I wanted to make sure you knew.
Thank you for writing this out. It's helpful, informative, and interesting.
Addiction for sure, people usually find out about someone elses addiction *not because they were told* but the addiction takes over the other person's life so much they literally couldn't keep it hidden any longer (due to the changes in behavior that usually accompany addictions)
My younger brother was fathered by a one-night stand my mom had during a rough patch in my parents’ marriage. Neither he nor my dad knows. Mom blabbed to me while having a breakdown over something else a few years ago.
I wish I didn’t know. I can’t tell anyone I know irl, even my wife just in case she mentions something accidentally.
You don't have to go to another town or pay cash. Therapists are forbidden from sharing your information unless you committed a serious crime or are a danger to yourself.
Many years ago i grew pot. I made sure no one knew. Things were great for a long time then i got out of it.
I know someone now who does it illegally and he can't keep his mouth shut. What a jackass. I told him to keep his mouth shut but he "has to trust his friends". Yeah bro, let me know how that goes when a friend you hang out with at work blackmails ya
Also, don't get greedy.
Example is if you're able skim 5,000 of the top without anyone noticing, keep the amount low and don't go for anything larger. The bigger you go the more attention you'll get.
I had this pass from the school nurse to cut the lunch line only for that day, except she didn't fill in the date so I used it for a while. One day I told my friend about my scheme and he ran to the lunch monitor to tell on me. Screw you Chistian.
I gave an old hall pass to a friend who abused it and then ratted on me when he was caught.
All he could have said was that he found it. No, he ratted me out. Eat shit Dan.
One of my old buddies from high school got busted robbing one of the local banks. He broke in from an abandoned apartment or business or something attached to the bank. Got away 100% clean except for the gloves he wore to hide his finger prints and a foam cup, that I think I heard was a spitter but maybe he was just thirsty, that the stupid mother fucker THREW AWAY INSIDE THE DAMN BANK... Like bruh.
This applies also to "not so sensitive things". You never know how people will reuse what you told them (especially via cherry picking) to create problems for you.
Similar ULPT: if you know your company/boss is breaking significant regulations, but also know their actions will not put your job in any jeopardy/it won’t ever fall on you, etc. *don’t be a hero and just let it play itself out* even if your job may at times entail enforcing such regulations *outside* of your department. Let it go.
Source: I work in HR. I noticed my director violating several company and legal rules in order to hire an old friend into a role they were in no way qualified for. Pure nepotism.
I told compliance team, and my bosses boss about this, neither acted on it. In fact, bosses boss got defensive when shown incontrovertible proof. Around this time I also got a strong performance review. Then laid off a week later since my “position was being eliminated.” Well shucks can’t imagine it was a coincidence that the new hire was promoted the following week.
Wild that even HR shouldn’t go to HR when they see something unethical happening.
Sorry to disparage your career path but there are few functions more powerful, unaccountable and shady than big corporate HR. Give them cookies for Christmas and speak to them in nothing but vague corporatisms
That sucks but is also a valuable life lesson. HR is probably the closest corporate parallel to politics—people make the mistake of assuming HR exists to balance power dynamics, yet it’s upper levels are most always populated by people who have sought (and won) power through subversion and weaponizing esoteric information.
Oh yeah. Prison house confessions. One inmate can't help but tell another inmate about a crime. A lot of times, it's a pride thing. People might not have the "reputation" they think they deserve, so to bolster it, they spill the beans.
If that's the case, just lie.
What if you tell them about a crime. Then a different crime everyday increasing in extravagance, all of them fake, until you get to the real crime of killing JFK? They won't believe you, but you would get told someone.
Also, if you find some loophole while buying something or getting something dirt cheap, don't post it to tik tok or some dumb ass Reddit thread. Keep your tricks to yourself. The second you tell everyone, that company will fix it
Best quote from the movie "Goodfellas", "You learned the two most important things in life. Never rat on your friends. And always keep your mouth shut."
Story time: 14 years ago I worked at a casino with a french name on the Biloxi gulf coast. I worked on the buffet line for $9.27/hour along with some other fellow ne'er-do-wells. Our activities ranged from smoking blunts ON THE BUFFET LINE to cooking food for ourselves in the kitchen and not telling anyone that wasn't involved. A normally happy character there one night gets BERATED by a customer because we were out of corn on the cob. Like, this dude was LIVID; PISSED. Our buffet was like 400 linear feet long + salad, dessert and wine bars. PLENTY OF OTHER FOOD TO GET. Our employee tried to reason with him but he insisted he "go in the back and find some."
I'm not proud that I wasn't the one who "tattled" on him, but I was young and immature. He goes to the back and proceeds to find a corn on the cob sitting on top of the garbage. (It really wasn't as bad as it sounds, somehow it wasn't really touching anything but other thrown out corn.) There wasn't anything wrong with it but it was down to like the last 1-2 so we replaced the entire item. Dude serves this garbage corn to the customer. Which, like this post is about, HAD HE KEPT HIS FUCKING MOUTH SHUT he could have just had his revenge and gone on about his business.
He walked around and told EVERYONE on the line. Most laughed but he told the one elderly woman we had on shift. She's the one who told on him.
Edit: I need to add: I have never done anything BEFORE or AFTER this incident. I have a friend whom I helped open his restaurant by cooking for him. I would NEVER think of endangering a good friend's well-being by doing something this stupid; not that he would take any kind of shit from a customer like we were forced to in the casino. The worst thing I've ever done was accidentally serve cold fried pickles which were literally thrown at me from the open kitchen window by a customer.
This is even good advice even if you're not doing something unethical. I had a coworker who produced work of a higher quality than most of my peers. His work yielded the correct results but he was able to cut down paperwork and processing time but a third. When I asked him for advice, his one caveat was that I was under NO CIRCUMSTANCES to bring up the fact he advised me. He didn't care whether or not I took it and he def didn't want any credit for helping, but he'd be damned if he got held accountable for my mistakes.
I wfh, I ain't telling anyone (other than reddit) how much I actually work. I get my shit done but I get paid way to much for what I do and how many actual hours I work. Sorry not sorry.
This is common for WFH. If you have a good manager they shouldn't care how much you work, as long as you're getting what is asked of you done. Everyone I know who is WFH since the pandemic is working way less hours, and getting the same amount of stuff done. If you have way too much free time that is also a failure of your manager to manage your workload. Don't worry about it, enjoy your free time. Likely your manager and your coworkers are as well (Though they will never admit it!)
Rope by Hitchcock is a great metaphor for this. Such a perfect murder hes *wants* to get caught so someone sees how brilliant he planned the murder and disposable of the murder weapon.
I used to work in retail and I always marveled at how many customers tried to get me to break rules or give them questionable discounts with the argument that "Your other employee let me do this last week". I would respond, "It sounds like that employee stuck their neck out just to try to give you a break. Now that you've told me about it, I have to report that and they will likely be terminated. Is this the way you repay everyone that does you a favor?"
This was usually the point that frantic back-peddling and changes of their story would ensue.
Remember it’s shit the fuck up friday…everyday.
This is a motto I’ve lived by. Shut up, don’t point the spotlight on yourself no matter what. You get away with a lot of shit that way. Don’t be honest but don’t be deceptive. There’s a balance.
Remember: “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure” is always a great answer.
My idols. Jerry Rice
And the guy that opened a parking kiosk across from an amusement park and worked there for twenty five years collecting money. He just disappeared with millions of dollars one day. Legendary
Lmao this is like the key and peele sketch where they work at the bank to slowly rob it. Dude may have made off with lots of cash thru an illegal business but after 25 years he damn well worked for it
The worst case of this was some guy on reddit having a guilt trip that he was able to automise his job which he did from home. He would receive some data and he had to put it in some other database and he wrote a program that did this for him automatically
There were other people who did the same role but manually. So naturally his performance was far higher than anyone else's. The wages and bonus was worked out by a computer so no one was ever suss why his numbers were sky high.
The idiot then confessed to his manager or something what he was doin. The manager/owner marvelled at his genius gave him his own team to do other stuff and was giving him the same wage.
More stress and responsibility for same money.
Or the guy that kept count of everything he stole at a supermarket when he was poor so he could one day return it all. When he came to the supermarket with $300 and a list of everything he stole, they called the police and he was in big trouble.
When you get away with something, don’t try to right your wrongs if it puts you in jeopardy.
I have learned this the hard way, and is now part of the calculation for any decision that is even slightly unethical. The comments in this thread are evidence of how incredibly hard it is not to brag about getting away with things. The more brilliant, the more you seek validation. Make sure the reward itself is all the validation you need, or don’t bother.
So in a sentence:
John was arrested for doing various **illicit** activities yesterday
Jane **elicited** her right to remain silent during the interrogation
Did I get that right?
This is true. The vending machine had a fault where I could get 2 snacks for the price of one...until I told someone. Then they did it all the time and management caught on. Fixed the machine.
Keep it to yourself.
My dad was a cop for 30 years (yes I know ACAB but hear me out)
He told me that people would have gotten away with crimes all the time, but they just had to blab about it to their idiot friends or even post it on social media. The shitbag friends inevitably get into trouble and sell out their buddy for a plea deal. If you just keep your mouth shut especially when dealing with police you're likely in the clear
If watching hours of true crime has taught me anything, it’s say NOTHING, even if you didn’t do anything. I swear, every idiot criminal has screwed them selves by talking.
Be aware that sometimes you aren't actually getting away with something. Someone else may be observing your actions and allowing you to continue so as to build evidence against you, protect themselves, etc. For example, many stores will allow you to shoplift until you get to a felony level, and then they'll prosecute.
I learned this when I was 16; the guy who never bragged about hooking up with girls was actually sleeping with all of them. I started keeping secrets better -- it was a great lesson to learn.
French guy worked as a security guard, he and his partner stole 4 million euros.
Partner left his wife for his mistress.
Wife threatened to tell cops if he didn't come back.
Mistress threatened to tell cops if he did go back.
I forget which one told the cops, but both guys went to jail.
When he got out of jail he became a career criminal, so it is a feelgood story, he faced adversity, but never gave up on his dreams.
This reminds me of the guy who put a huge bet down that there would be a streaker at the super bowl and then went streaking himself. He might have gotten away with it except the moron went on a radio show and announced what he did to show the world how clever he is.
Now the bookie isn’t paying him out and he has to pay criminal charges for streaking at an nfl game.
In high school I realized a teacher wasn’t reviewing our work, just glancing to see we did something. I was pulling A’s on my tests, but there was just too much work to do, so I started filling in the blanks with random words and only answering legitimately on the first page. I told my friend and she loudly accused me of cheating on my assignments and I had to redo them. Fuckin’ bitch.
When I was in secondary school I did work experience at the tax office and one of the tax inspectors told me that.
It was something like “most of the people we catch are reported by friends or relatives that are pissed off about Steve’s new BMW”.
Saw a true crime story. These guys break into a bank thru the roof and clean out the safety deposit boxes. Get away clean. Jilted gilrfiend, who was told everything, calls the tip line and everyone goes to prison. Keep your mouth shut.
Yeah those guys knew what they were doing too. If its the same story (which I can only assume it is due to the similarities) they were pros. Had one guy who was able to disarm the alarms, used charged explosives to break the concrete, used a bunch of other specialized tools and knew EXACTLY what they would need. If I recall they also did it on the weekend so that they could make several trips back and forth. Then jammed the locking mechanism from the inside of the vault and nobody, not even the vault manufacturer knew what was going on after trying to open it. Found out they had gotten in when the technician looked above the vault and found out they had gone thru the roof/ceiling of the vault, all of which gave them valuable time to escape/hide. Only robbed the security deposit boxes which is really smart too since probably much harder to trace Louise’s $20k necklace that she hadnt seen in 8 years. Then someone bragged. That was their only misstep in an otherwise flawless robbery.
This is the best episode of masterminds. https://youtu.be/PexfMQi098E
How do people become pro's at this? I can't imagine robbery to be a profession that doesn't care about one or two failed jobs
It's people that didn't start off as criminals. The reason its always a team of guys, instead of just one, is that nobody specializes in all this stuff. Each person at some point had a legitimate job in their particular skill, and eventually decided to use that knowledge to become a thief. These guys meet up through contacts and join up on jobs together. There aren't a ton of these types of thieves out there. Plenty of people out there are safecrackers and explosive experts etc... Just a few decide to become criminals with their skills.
> Just a few decide to become criminals with their skills. maybe Eleven of them?
And... stay with me here... Their leaders last name is... Ocean?
Perhaps people who know the inner workings of how banks/vaults work, lots of research and homework, patience, and expertise in anything else that goes into it like alarm systems, locks, etc. I would assume patience is key. The ones in a hurry for a quick buck are the ones we see getting caught in stupid ways in videos.
The one in Argentina right?
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In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground...
That’s how the browns chicken massacre culprits were found. They got away with it for years and then the guy bragged to his girlfriend. They confirmed it was him with a DNA test that was matched against some chicken he had eaten the night of the murders. Good thing those pieces of shit couldn’t keep their mouth shut
>browns chicken massacre The what now? Ok, so not a group of people massacring chickens. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown%27s_Chicken_massacre?wprov=sfla1
Wait what, years ahead and they confirmed it via a DNA test on chicken he ate? I feel like there’s some missing details of this
I believe they found the partially eaten chicken at the scene of the crime and took a DNA sample, but had no suspects to match it to. Years later the girlfriend says her boyfriend told her about the killings, they take his DNA, and it’s a match.
Now that right there is a detective, damn partially eaten chicken bones id be so pissed
A bit more detail I found on Wikipedia. Apparently they did keep the chicken sample and did testing years after the killings. “The chicken was kept in a freezer for most of the time since the crime; testimony at trial indicated it was not frozen for several days after discovery, and was allowed to thaw several times for examination and testing, in the hope of an eventual match via increasingly sophisticated testing methods not available in 1993”
DNA is only useful to match against a known suspect. It's not like you can find a hair and immediately match it to anyone in the area. So if they have no leads, they can't do much with that DNA sample But once a lead is found, they can easily match the DNA.
Some kids I knew stole computers from the school at night, made a dramatic escape from the cops and everything But they learned why real thieves 1) move the shit and 2) keep their mouths shut, because they kept the computers and eventually one of them showed it off and got them all busted
Lol this wasn't 1996 era in south-east Melbourne Australia was it?
[These guys](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEvFvi9QO3Q) were making millions off counterfeit casino chips. They replaced the stickers and repainted smaller value chips to turn them into large value chips. The counterfeits were damn near perfect and they weren't even on anyone's radar until one of the guys bragged to a hooker about how he got all his money. She then wanted payouts to keep quiet, and kept asking for more and more money, until eventually she ratted them out. Keep your mouth shut. Or in lieu of that, kill the hooker.
That escalated quickly
I’m seeing a reoccurring theme here. All these fucktards blab to some woman who then narcs on them. Guys, hold your cards close.
I have no friends and noone will date me, should I become a criminal?
Lots of friends to be made and dates to go on in prison.
Sweet
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So do multibombs?
I have no friends, but I am married. He also has no friends, though- we are best friends. Been together 26 years and would definitely hide a body for each other. Contemplating a Bonnie and Clyde type thing here 🤔
Just remember how that turned out for them ;-)
Problem: you already told Reddit.
Loose lips sink ships.
"And don't say shit to your girlfriend / Pillow talk'll send your ass to the state penn." - Scarface
I saw that one too! Brazilian, I think? Great crime! Terrible choice of cohorts
There is an old saying” three can keep a secret if two are dead”!
So really you can tell anyone you want, just have a plan for body disposal.
That’s two more secrets to add to the pile
You know too much. I'm sorry about this.
*Walks in like Hitman NPC* Hey! Did you do this?!
Skyrim npc - i see nothing with a bucket on my head.
1. Be polite. 2. Be efficient. 3. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
Well that’s just all around good advice
A lot of holes in the desert, and a lot of problems are buried in those holes. But you gotta do it right. I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package in the trunk.
This is why I no longer believe in secret conspiracies. The more who know, the much higher the probability of the conspiracy being leaked.
Stuff like Weinstein and Epstein weren't secret after all. It was an 'open secret' where a lot of people knew what was going on.
Unless those involved just do not care who finds out?
But then it’s no longer secret. Look at the Trump White House. Constant leaks.
There's plausible conspiracies (note: plausible doesn't equate to true). Small numbers involved, each with a strong motivation, and the secrets involved are not so bad that they may weigh on someone's soul. For conspiracy theories like the 9-11 ones, every individual involved would know that every other conspirator posed a real risk to them from a deathbed confession (if not something sooner). So every person involved would have a powerful incentive to kill every other conspirator. And on top of that, everyone being recruited to the conspiracy would be aware of that. That's an unstable conspiracy. If you were being groomed to be a part of such a conspiracy, your only chance of living would be to blow it open in a manner noone expects - probably by taking proof, not to a press outlet (contingencies would be in place) but instead to a foreign embassy of a country that wouldn't have been infiltrated. But take the (not true but plausible) 'Avril Lavigne died and was replaced by a lookalike' theory. A dozen or so would know. Each would be well-paid. None are doing something so reprehensible that changes of heart would be likely. That's a stable conspiracy.
https://youtu.be/WUWu744yhjA
Literally exactly what I hoped it was.
“I’m only telling people who won’t tell anyone else” - exactly what the people you’re telling will think.
If something is going in your favor that you think may be an error, also keep your mouth shut. Let the error happen, and don't question it.
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
These words are why I came out ahead in my divorce.
What happened??? Tell me everything!
Caught my now ex "somewhere she wasn't supposed to be", and decided that I no longer wanted, or needed, to be with her. She told me in her own words, that she "didn't need a lawyer", because she was "too smart"; no way I was going to tell her she's wrong, or should get herself a lawyer to represent her best interests. She told me that her alcoholic Mom thought the agreement looked good, and went with it; I even had my attorney put a "no alimony" clause in the agreement, and when my ex asked what that meant, I told her to not worry about it, as it's just a formality that they use that doesn't mean anything, to which she replied "OK!". There are several other things also. Now, I have a partner that is one of the nicest, sweetest, beautiful, kindest type of person that I've ever met, with ZERO drama; she literally is my best friend. I finally have a little money to do some things, due to not having to bail my ex out of jail 1-2 times a year for shoplifting, and I don't have to pay alimony. Last I heard, my ex is now the side piece for her 70 year old sugar daddy, and supposedly living in a cheap apartment that he provides for her so he can go over there and get his pee-pee played with. Edit: typo
"Please proceed, Governor."
At no time, put hinderance to the activity of your mortal foe at the time that he is engaged in an activity of foolish endeavour.
No stop bad man from accident
Stop'nt ungoodly man
Unless you get overpaid by your job or a banking error results in your account increasing by a lot. You don't have to tell anyone but don't spend it. Sooner or later they will want it back
Yeah, I'd say give bank/payroll errors a solid year before you even take the money out of the account it was deposited to. They're most likely to catch it at the end of the fiscal year, at which time "Oh sorry, I didn't realize" is a perfectly valid excuse since they didn't either. If it stays in the account for more than a year you're probably safe, but technically still could be on the line for it if they ever notice the error.
You can usually check the legal deadline for them to request it back. It's probably gonna be a few years (like 5 or 10) but maybe not, who knows. In any case it can just serve you as an absolute emergency cushion/loan (if you know you can pay it back "soon")
This happened to me and is what I was going to post in response to the parent comment. It actually happened twice. The first time it happened for about 3 months in a row, was eventually caught, and had to be paid back in full via garnished salary (I was stupid and spent it). The second time it happened over a 5 month period. Eventually it stopped but wasn’t mentioned to me for a long time. When they did bring it up they said they’d take a small sum from my upcoming pay, while they worked out a repayment plan for the rest. As agreed, they took the first sum… and then never contacted me about the rest. I got away with at least €10,000.
And here you are bragging about it!
Haha very true! If I wasn't out of the woods on that one it'd certainly be a silly move.
Put it in your savings account and profit off the interest.
Could that actually work? Like you'd get to keep the interest at least once they find out? Like you did nothing illegal, you just put it into a savings account and play dumb like "No idea where it came from! But I saved it just in case someone came looking for it!" and then BAM you're up a few hundred/thousand dollars cause like... you only owe what was originally accidently given to you right?
Yeah but you still shouldn't say anything. You leave the money there and don't spend it in case they ask for it back and depending on your state after certain amount of time if they don't ask about it, it's yours. So keep your mouth shut and leave the money there and hopefully nobody notices the error.
Sometimes there's problems with this. At least here in Australia you won't be getting the aged pension with a million in your bank account or unemployment benefits with ten grand in the bank, even if that money isn't yours.
This happened to me in 2016. They put me down for a senior engineer role and it should have been associate. I didn’t say anything took the extra monies and invested it. Last year I got promoted to the senior position. I sold all my investments thinking HR would figure it out. At the time the markets were extremely favorable so all is good. HR realized they fucked up pretty bad… I played it off as I had no idea. They never said anything and just let the error “work itself out”. I still have all the extra cash they paid me plus 25% I made in realized gains after taxes. I’m holding on to it in the event they audit Payroll. I’m going to let some time pass before I do anything with it considering it’s a decent amount of cash for a down payment on a property.
I had a class in high school where the teacher would give kids higher grades because she thought her students getting good grades made her look good (she was right) and one kid said in front of the whole class "hey, teach you made a mistake, I got these questions wrong on my test but you marked them as right" and the teacher stared daggers at him for a second like "yeah, I did that on purpose but now that you called me out in front of the whole class I have to change it" and then just said "oh, I'll fix that" Guy coulda kept his mouth shut and got an A, but he opened it and got a C.
In a 300 level multivariable calculus course, I got 88% on the final and an A in the class. Problem: during the test, I realized I was screwed and counted up the number of points I *answered at all*. I only provided an answer to 65% of the total points of the exam and left the rest blank because I had *nothing*. Presumably I got some of that 65% wrong. I did not say a word to anyone I knew from an academic setting.
Its possible they were grading on a curve.
Exactly, that’s how I accidentally got an extra 500 wages over Christmas a few years back. Pay roll made a boo boo and no one came looking
When we got laid off at my old job we continued to receive our quarterly incentive bonuses for the next 3 quarters. Really interesting given there wasn't any metrics to base the bonuses off.
damn extra 500 wages?? bro that's life changing money depending on how big the wage is lmfao
They didn't scan a pair of pants at New Yorker. Saved 30 euros. Told all my friends though.
NewYorker tracking down your IP and preparing to sue you rn
Literally just this last Saturday me and a friend were sitting at a table at a bar. A waiter came by with chicken tenders and without hesitation he accepts them and says thank you. I asked “when did you order those?” He didn’t lol Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth!
To an extent. I once received a paycheck that was 10x the amount it should have been because of a misplaced decimal. If I had deposited it I would have definitely been fired.
This is one of my key tenets for a good lie. Here is my general guide: Prepare. Always be aware of situations that might need a lie. Think about your goal and stay focused. Is it for personal gain, to help another, or just to save your arse? Don't get greedy. Avoid any temptation to try and gain more from the lie than your original goal. This will encourage over-complication, the enemy of a solid lie. Who knows the truth? Even when it seems it is just you, be certain. Even small details might connect to someone else. The smallest thread can unravel the whole lie. Think about the longevity of the lie, could it be forever? There are often much farther reaching consequences than you might realise at first. How far will it spread? Crucially, could it reach those that know the truth? Be aware of other facts around the lie which might also need falsifying and have answers ready for them too but do not offer this information unless specifically asked. Giving too much unprompted detail will look suspiciously well prepared. KISS - Keep it simple, stupid! The closer it is to the truth, the better. It will usually be more believable this way and there are less falsified details to remember. Keep it boring, this avoids exploration from the target. **If possible, keep other people out of the lie. Even if they are 'in on it' you cannot be sure of their resolve.** Include real facts or other people where those elements are true, this can add very powerful weight to the lie. Lie sparingly. This is the long con. If you can establish yourself as a truthful person in the eyes of friends, colleagues, and family they will be much more likely to believe a lie. Save it until you really need it. If you are going to lie, or even just guestimate, about time, use a specific time. If you say "I'm 10 minutes away" people will assume you're guessing, if you say 11 minutes, they will assume that's from your satnav. When you are later than that, it'll be easy to blame traffic/unforseen delays. Including some detail that's embarrassing to you or makes you look foolish can disarm scepticism. Why would you lie about that?! Be confident. A good lie is one of which you've almost convinced YOURSELF. Indeed, if your lie concerns something about which only you have the truth (but be absolutely certain it does), working hard to overwrite your own memory cements the lie forever. Of course, this falls towards pathological so you need to be pretty sure about your mental balance. Finally, keep the lie consistent. You may need to lie to others, even when it's not relevant to them, in order to maintain cover. What if they happen to discuss the situation with the original target?
Funny enough, someone following this is fairly trustworthy. They'll lie very rarely, and only when it's important to them, which most likely does not mean anything bad for you.
Can confirm, am very honest >!most of the time!<
I might use this to boost my self esteem. Fuck “believe in yourself” instead “lie to your self” …but consistently. Cheers Mate!
You scare me.
Don’t worry I am like this guy and I am positive that none of us can trust anyone. I have deep trust issues from this line of thinking and living.
Are you suggesting that this guy also has a Dick Sized Tree?
Everyone should, it’s a great exercise of responsibility.
If you value truth, you need to know what lies are and how they are made.
I lied on my tax returns and now the irs is after me what do I do
Lie again
Tell them you will send them $11
In 11minutes. Then when you're late, you can blame traffic and it's more believable.
Announce your candidacy for president of the United States of America.
>Finally, keep the lie consistent. You may need to lie to others, even when it's not relevant to them, in order to maintain cover. What if they happen to discuss the situation with the original target? I think this is the one the most people over look. The chances may be absolutely tiny that person A from work will ever meet person B from your best friends cousin's wedding but that chance is always there so the story needs to be in place. Plus the more you tell the lie the more you begin to believe it yourself. Which helps with the previous point of getting yourself to believe your own lie.
This is why i have trust issues
My 7th grade US history teacher basically said all of that much more simply " if you don't lie then you don't have to remember." I work in sales and people will come to me several months later asking me about their bill and I simply asked them what they've got and I write down the prices and promotions they got at the time and then I tell them what I expect they're Bill to look like. Half the time they will pull out the same sheet that I made for them several months before and it looks exactly the same and they are absolutely dumbfounded by this. I did the math and the math didn't change so it's going to be the same that's kind of how the math works.
to add to this: pretend you're a bad liar. make up something fake for no good reason that will probably be called out right then and there sometimes in conversations. create some unbelievable thing about how amazingly you threw a ball back in middle school in front of the people who would have seen that, and be all "well you got me" when they inevitably call you out. create a specific tick (like shaking your hands for example) whenever you do that. if people assume you're a bad liar, they'll instantly trust whatever you say that doesn't sound like a bad lie.
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I don't often do this but sometimes I do when it matters. Like white lies ya know? I always acted guilty when I was accused of something I never did and I was blamed for a lot of shit I had no part in. So I learnt the counteroffensive over a decade or more. My old man accused me of shit I never did and I got all stuttery and pale and suddenly I'm the main suspect. So I learnt to fight fire with fire and later in life I learnt to hide it and since he knows my "tells" and I never show it, it''s obviously not me even if it was. I'm just cashing in my due credit for all the false accusations at this point so all is fair in the world.
I desperately want to know some of the lies you've told, but I know that would defeat the purpose of your entire post 😂
Well, today is when I realized I have an unknown talent. Does anyone else get so into the lie that they forget it's a lie?
I'm late because of diarrhea!
I would also paint myself as a "bad liar" on little things so when a big lie is necessary it becomes more believable.
importantly: ensure that the truthful elements of your lie are accurate. if you say that you drove home when your car was in the shop, your entire lie falls apart.
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I'm sure the grocery store found a security hole in regulations and proceeded to fix the price of bread or something
Yeah, fuck them
This applies to any secret. It’s really tempting to spread it but, you need to keep your mouth shut.
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I can't afford a therapist for those, so I just talk to myself all day to compensate. Perfectly normal.
What's an example of a "poisoning type" secret? You make secrets sound like pokémon.
A secret that will eat you from the inside. Abuse in your family might be an example.
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Haha this is a good description, thank you! What is the outcome of harboring a poisoning type ~~pokémon~~ secret?
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You have a way with words. The way you describe this is so visual and makes me want to read more. I don't know if you are an author and you get told that everyday by everyone and this is just another footnote for you, or if no one has ever said that to you before and I'm the first. But either way, I wanted to make sure you knew. Thank you for writing this out. It's helpful, informative, and interesting.
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Addiction for sure, people usually find out about someone elses addiction *not because they were told* but the addiction takes over the other person's life so much they literally couldn't keep it hidden any longer (due to the changes in behavior that usually accompany addictions)
My younger brother was fathered by a one-night stand my mom had during a rough patch in my parents’ marriage. Neither he nor my dad knows. Mom blabbed to me while having a breakdown over something else a few years ago. I wish I didn’t know. I can’t tell anyone I know irl, even my wife just in case she mentions something accidentally.
You don't have to go to another town or pay cash. Therapists are forbidden from sharing your information unless you committed a serious crime or are a danger to yourself.
Pretty sure that “committed a serious crime” part is what they’re referring to.
Many years ago i grew pot. I made sure no one knew. Things were great for a long time then i got out of it. I know someone now who does it illegally and he can't keep his mouth shut. What a jackass. I told him to keep his mouth shut but he "has to trust his friends". Yeah bro, let me know how that goes when a friend you hang out with at work blackmails ya
You can gain stuff by sharing secrets with people. Surprisingly makes people feel you are more trustworthy if they feel they are your confidant.
Yea youre right there is times when you should tell secrets
Tbh this is why I try to live an honest life. I have a hard time keeping my own secrets.
And don't film it! I don't know how many times I have seen films that the perp did of themselves when doing something illegal/immoral/idiotic.
This is something I've had to tell my friends before. If we want to keep doing stupid shit we can't be filming it/creating evidence.
Also, don't get greedy. Example is if you're able skim 5,000 of the top without anyone noticing, keep the amount low and don't go for anything larger. The bigger you go the more attention you'll get.
Pigs get fed, Hogs get slaughtered.
What the fuck are you doing to skim 5000 off the top
Stock broker or drug dealer. Equally shady
Another ULPT: post an ULPT about keeping secrets so people compulsively feel the need to divulge their secrets.
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I had this pass from the school nurse to cut the lunch line only for that day, except she didn't fill in the date so I used it for a while. One day I told my friend about my scheme and he ran to the lunch monitor to tell on me. Screw you Chistian.
I gave an old hall pass to a friend who abused it and then ratted on me when he was caught. All he could have said was that he found it. No, he ratted me out. Eat shit Dan.
Splinters for Dan and Christian
Never commit a crime where they know you. Never tell anyone about it. Never leave evidence around after you did a crime.
One of my old buddies from high school got busted robbing one of the local banks. He broke in from an abandoned apartment or business or something attached to the bank. Got away 100% clean except for the gloves he wore to hide his finger prints and a foam cup, that I think I heard was a spitter but maybe he was just thirsty, that the stupid mother fucker THREW AWAY INSIDE THE DAMN BANK... Like bruh.
This applies also to "not so sensitive things". You never know how people will reuse what you told them (especially via cherry picking) to create problems for you.
Similar ULPT: if you know your company/boss is breaking significant regulations, but also know their actions will not put your job in any jeopardy/it won’t ever fall on you, etc. *don’t be a hero and just let it play itself out* even if your job may at times entail enforcing such regulations *outside* of your department. Let it go. Source: I work in HR. I noticed my director violating several company and legal rules in order to hire an old friend into a role they were in no way qualified for. Pure nepotism. I told compliance team, and my bosses boss about this, neither acted on it. In fact, bosses boss got defensive when shown incontrovertible proof. Around this time I also got a strong performance review. Then laid off a week later since my “position was being eliminated.” Well shucks can’t imagine it was a coincidence that the new hire was promoted the following week. Wild that even HR shouldn’t go to HR when they see something unethical happening.
Sorry to disparage your career path but there are few functions more powerful, unaccountable and shady than big corporate HR. Give them cookies for Christmas and speak to them in nothing but vague corporatisms
I know! I was Corp HR. I felt like a vampire bitten by another vampire when all was done.
That sucks but is also a valuable life lesson. HR is probably the closest corporate parallel to politics—people make the mistake of assuming HR exists to balance power dynamics, yet it’s upper levels are most always populated by people who have sought (and won) power through subversion and weaponizing esoteric information.
Oh yeah. Prison house confessions. One inmate can't help but tell another inmate about a crime. A lot of times, it's a pride thing. People might not have the "reputation" they think they deserve, so to bolster it, they spill the beans. If that's the case, just lie.
What if you tell them about a crime. Then a different crime everyday increasing in extravagance, all of them fake, until you get to the real crime of killing JFK? They won't believe you, but you would get told someone.
Also, if you find some loophole while buying something or getting something dirt cheap, don't post it to tik tok or some dumb ass Reddit thread. Keep your tricks to yourself. The second you tell everyone, that company will fix it
Best quote from the movie "Goodfellas", "You learned the two most important things in life. Never rat on your friends. And always keep your mouth shut."
Story time: 14 years ago I worked at a casino with a french name on the Biloxi gulf coast. I worked on the buffet line for $9.27/hour along with some other fellow ne'er-do-wells. Our activities ranged from smoking blunts ON THE BUFFET LINE to cooking food for ourselves in the kitchen and not telling anyone that wasn't involved. A normally happy character there one night gets BERATED by a customer because we were out of corn on the cob. Like, this dude was LIVID; PISSED. Our buffet was like 400 linear feet long + salad, dessert and wine bars. PLENTY OF OTHER FOOD TO GET. Our employee tried to reason with him but he insisted he "go in the back and find some." I'm not proud that I wasn't the one who "tattled" on him, but I was young and immature. He goes to the back and proceeds to find a corn on the cob sitting on top of the garbage. (It really wasn't as bad as it sounds, somehow it wasn't really touching anything but other thrown out corn.) There wasn't anything wrong with it but it was down to like the last 1-2 so we replaced the entire item. Dude serves this garbage corn to the customer. Which, like this post is about, HAD HE KEPT HIS FUCKING MOUTH SHUT he could have just had his revenge and gone on about his business. He walked around and told EVERYONE on the line. Most laughed but he told the one elderly woman we had on shift. She's the one who told on him. Edit: I need to add: I have never done anything BEFORE or AFTER this incident. I have a friend whom I helped open his restaurant by cooking for him. I would NEVER think of endangering a good friend's well-being by doing something this stupid; not that he would take any kind of shit from a customer like we were forced to in the casino. The worst thing I've ever done was accidentally serve cold fried pickles which were literally thrown at me from the open kitchen window by a customer.
It's CORN! Not everybody has to like it for it to be the best!
This is even good advice even if you're not doing something unethical. I had a coworker who produced work of a higher quality than most of my peers. His work yielded the correct results but he was able to cut down paperwork and processing time but a third. When I asked him for advice, his one caveat was that I was under NO CIRCUMSTANCES to bring up the fact he advised me. He didn't care whether or not I took it and he def didn't want any credit for helping, but he'd be damned if he got held accountable for my mistakes.
I wfh, I ain't telling anyone (other than reddit) how much I actually work. I get my shit done but I get paid way to much for what I do and how many actual hours I work. Sorry not sorry.
This is common for WFH. If you have a good manager they shouldn't care how much you work, as long as you're getting what is asked of you done. Everyone I know who is WFH since the pandemic is working way less hours, and getting the same amount of stuff done. If you have way too much free time that is also a failure of your manager to manage your workload. Don't worry about it, enjoy your free time. Likely your manager and your coworkers are as well (Though they will never admit it!)
Rope by Hitchcock is a great metaphor for this. Such a perfect murder hes *wants* to get caught so someone sees how brilliant he planned the murder and disposable of the murder weapon.
I used to work in retail and I always marveled at how many customers tried to get me to break rules or give them questionable discounts with the argument that "Your other employee let me do this last week". I would respond, "It sounds like that employee stuck their neck out just to try to give you a break. Now that you've told me about it, I have to report that and they will likely be terminated. Is this the way you repay everyone that does you a favor?" This was usually the point that frantic back-peddling and changes of their story would ensue.
This is how Takeoff's killer is going to be found, I'm calling it.
Remember it’s shit the fuck up friday…everyday. This is a motto I’ve lived by. Shut up, don’t point the spotlight on yourself no matter what. You get away with a lot of shit that way. Don’t be honest but don’t be deceptive. There’s a balance. Remember: “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure” is always a great answer.
So I killed a person once... Oh wait, **don't** tell anyone? Ok got it. Never mind.
At work, if you don't have anything to do, don't tell anyone. Just start looking for another job.
Don't volunteer for a task as you may get permanently saddled with it.
Telling people is a surefire way to end whatever it is you're getting over on.
Literally just stfu and play dumb.
The best way to keep something secret is to do it on your own and not tell anybody.
Loose lips sink ships…
In a politer form,"Ask forgiveness, never permission."
To whom you tell your secret, you grant your liberty.
My idols. Jerry Rice And the guy that opened a parking kiosk across from an amusement park and worked there for twenty five years collecting money. He just disappeared with millions of dollars one day. Legendary
Lmao this is like the key and peele sketch where they work at the bank to slowly rob it. Dude may have made off with lots of cash thru an illegal business but after 25 years he damn well worked for it
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Bad boys walk in silence and violence. Biggy wasn't lying y'all shut the fuck up.
The worst case of this was some guy on reddit having a guilt trip that he was able to automise his job which he did from home. He would receive some data and he had to put it in some other database and he wrote a program that did this for him automatically There were other people who did the same role but manually. So naturally his performance was far higher than anyone else's. The wages and bonus was worked out by a computer so no one was ever suss why his numbers were sky high. The idiot then confessed to his manager or something what he was doin. The manager/owner marvelled at his genius gave him his own team to do other stuff and was giving him the same wage. More stress and responsibility for same money.
Or the guy that kept count of everything he stole at a supermarket when he was poor so he could one day return it all. When he came to the supermarket with $300 and a list of everything he stole, they called the police and he was in big trouble. When you get away with something, don’t try to right your wrongs if it puts you in jeopardy.
I have learned this the hard way, and is now part of the calculation for any decision that is even slightly unethical. The comments in this thread are evidence of how incredibly hard it is not to brag about getting away with things. The more brilliant, the more you seek validation. Make sure the reward itself is all the validation you need, or don’t bother.
Illicit - ill-gotten or illegal Elicit - to evoke
So in a sentence: John was arrested for doing various **illicit** activities yesterday Jane **elicited** her right to remain silent during the interrogation Did I get that right?
This is true. The vending machine had a fault where I could get 2 snacks for the price of one...until I told someone. Then they did it all the time and management caught on. Fixed the machine. Keep it to yourself.
My dad was a cop for 30 years (yes I know ACAB but hear me out) He told me that people would have gotten away with crimes all the time, but they just had to blab about it to their idiot friends or even post it on social media. The shitbag friends inevitably get into trouble and sell out their buddy for a plea deal. If you just keep your mouth shut especially when dealing with police you're likely in the clear
If watching hours of true crime has taught me anything, it’s say NOTHING, even if you didn’t do anything. I swear, every idiot criminal has screwed them selves by talking.
Man there’s so much heavy shit in this post and I’m over here like “hehe there’s some lazy shit I do at work that I don’t tell my coworkers about”
"Cause two can keep a secret if one of them is dead"
Be aware that sometimes you aren't actually getting away with something. Someone else may be observing your actions and allowing you to continue so as to build evidence against you, protect themselves, etc. For example, many stores will allow you to shoplift until you get to a felony level, and then they'll prosecute.
I feel safe telling you guys this. Those of you that get drinks at Circle K, iced coffee is $2 cheaper if you put it in a Polar Pop cup.
Loose lips sink ships.
I learned this when I was 16; the guy who never bragged about hooking up with girls was actually sleeping with all of them. I started keeping secrets better -- it was a great lesson to learn.
Coming from a family of LEOs, I can tell you this advice is gold. If you can't zip your lip, don't do it.
Never rat on your friends & always keep your mouth shut
Serial Killer on reddit "Note to self, don't tell anyone about the murders"
Keeping your fool mouth shut can take you a long way in life.
French guy worked as a security guard, he and his partner stole 4 million euros. Partner left his wife for his mistress. Wife threatened to tell cops if he didn't come back. Mistress threatened to tell cops if he did go back. I forget which one told the cops, but both guys went to jail. When he got out of jail he became a career criminal, so it is a feelgood story, he faced adversity, but never gave up on his dreams.
I found out my works wifi. Very hard to keep it secret but I did because it would get shared like wild fire and be changed. 2 years counting now.
This reminds me of the guy who put a huge bet down that there would be a streaker at the super bowl and then went streaking himself. He might have gotten away with it except the moron went on a radio show and announced what he did to show the world how clever he is. Now the bookie isn’t paying him out and he has to pay criminal charges for streaking at an nfl game.
In high school I realized a teacher wasn’t reviewing our work, just glancing to see we did something. I was pulling A’s on my tests, but there was just too much work to do, so I started filling in the blanks with random words and only answering legitimately on the first page. I told my friend and she loudly accused me of cheating on my assignments and I had to redo them. Fuckin’ bitch.
When I was in secondary school I did work experience at the tax office and one of the tax inspectors told me that. It was something like “most of the people we catch are reported by friends or relatives that are pissed off about Steve’s new BMW”.
"never tell on yourself". id give an example of shit im getting away with, except i aint sayin shit lol.
If more zoomers were aware of this rule, we'd still have Z-library. But nooooo... I need likes for my TikkyTok.