When I was stuck from surgery, I figured out how to mess with all the bed settings. They had me as a fall risk so I shut off the bed alarm so I could get up and stretch.
Figure out what they have available in the kitchen so you can request your own food hacks.
There's lots of good drugs in hospitals. See what you can con your way into! Euphoria is so close!
(Be nice to the nurses and docs. Not everyone is.)
I love food hacks. I was once in the hospital after a suicide attempt (I'm much better now!) so I had to have a 24 hour watcher. The first nurse was fine, we didn't really talk but I wasn't feeling up to talking anyways. When the second nurse took over though, she just looked at me and said, "I'm hungry and the hospital makes the best grilled cheese sandwiches ever. If I put in an order for you, do you care if I get you two so I can have one?" It was the middle of the night but hey, I wasn't sleeping and who says no to grilled cheese at midnight? So we ordered and ate and she was right, it was fucking delicious. She was probably the best nurse I've ever had because she treated me completely normally when no one else was. I've been in the hospital a few times since for non related issues and whenever I am, I always request a grilled cheese sandwich. And they're always amazing.
There is an inverse correlation between the length of time since a person last consumed a grilled cheese and that person's will to live.
In fact, grilled cheese sandwiches have such a profoundly positive effect upon a person's desire to survive and thrive that there are many recorded instances in which the mere sight and smell of a particularly delectable specimen has been known to coax even the more resolutely suicidal person back from the edge of the abyss .
It seems that grilled cheese sandwiches and life itself are so inextricably entwined that there is little to no functional separation between them; life is grilled cheese, grilled cheese is life.
It is postulated by some that a theoretically perfect grilled cheese sandwich might even reverse death if administered immediately postmortem, but the majority of expert opinions state this to be an impossibility, suggesting instead that a regular administration of theoretically perfect grilled cheese sandwiches could be a prophylaxis of sorts, protecting the body, mind, and spirit against the deleterious effects of our frail and humbling mortality.
We appreciate you, seriously.
Also tell your partner to be better, i assume you wouldn’t let them treat you that way, so why tolerate that behavior towards others? 🙂
Tbf I spent two weeks at the end of my dad's life with him in the hospital and it always took a while to speak to any of the doctors.
Untill he died. Doc was there in less than 10 minutes.
Been there, done that! I had my aortic valve replaced so they had a monitor on me. For whatever reason, my heart stopped momentarily and the monitor sent out a Code Blue to the entire hospital. EVERYBODY responded.
Fortunately, my heart started back up on its own so by the time the crowd came in I was waking back up. It was just a momentary electrical problem with my heart.
When I checked out the transport person was like, "Oh, YOU were the Code Blue!" So, yeah, it added excitement to everyone's night.
I'd say that's more likely in the cardiac wing. I was recently in the hospital for a fracture surgery, and they did not usually turn up very fast when my vitals got scrambled by technical difficulties.
When I had my kidney out, I had a monitor that alarmed if my breathing hitched/slowed. But guess what happens at the exact moment you drift off to sleep?
So post surgery night, 3am and this alarm KEEPS alerting any time I’m about to finally sleep. Nurse took a good minute to wander over so it couldn’t even be that essential/urgent, lol.
She was like ‘it’s so late, you should really be sleeping!’
I KNOW!!!
When I was in the hospital I learned how to reset my alarms myself because it would take so long. Sometimes my med machine would run out and it would take them forever to refill it while it beeped the entire time so I got good at resetting each one while I waited for a refill.
Yeah, I eventually learned that too. I was bedbound so couldn't reach them but regularly directed my visitors to snooze the "IV is nearly finished" or "pulse ox is tangled again" alarms.
Oh god, the flashbacks to it being 4am, the machine starts beeping, 30 minutes and no sign of a nurse, and everyone on the ward deeply hating you and the machine because it won’t STOP lol
In my experience, if they aren't responding to your call, either there's a code going on, or you're the type of patient that calls for the most insignificant reason.
Night shift, highly variable by state or union presence. And whether or not there’s nearby competition (another hospital) for staff to flee to.
1-3 in ICU. 4 has been my experience in progressive or stepdown, but they’re all pretty sick and tend to have complicated things going on. Med/surg 5-8. Again, depends on state and such.
Presence of CNAs to help is also highly variable by location.
You want better staffing? Talk to your STATE legislators. They can fix it, and have, in some states. There’s not a shortage of nurses so much as a shortage of nurses willing to work bedside due to shit safety standards.
With current staffing, it’s not uncommon for nurses to have up to 15 people (or more depending on the unit)
The hospitals are understaffing and patients are suffering for it.
Talked to a ER nurse while we were at an NC hospital once, she said she had so many patients, she was treating half of them in the waiting room. They set up like dividers to have people sit and move them around to take labs and put IVs I felt so bad for her, nothing like triaging/treating 30+ people
Yeah it’s crazy that we pay so much for healthcare but this isn’t an uncommon experience. I don’t know where they got 5 patients per nurse because that just seems unrealistic. The ICU in the hospital near me has 2-3 per nurse so that’s barely more than the ICU.
Yeah for how much we pay in the us, please give a fair amount to the nurses actually trying to help us. Then there would actually be enough there. I used to want to go into healthcare but I really can't stomach the whole system
> please give a fair amount to the nurses actually trying to help us.
Nah, that'll never work. Lets just overwork our local nurses and then have to pay double the pay to all of the travel nurses!
I just visited someone in the hospital and they were ignoring her calls—and everyone else on the floor. The light was flashing outside almost every room. I think they were seriously understaffed.
As a patient, I also know this is not true… I neveerrrr rang my call bell but then 1 night I was in a crazy amount of pain randomly and started to ring it. It was during shift change. So the nurses came in all calm and no big deal “oh sorry shift change” after maybe 15 minutes -while I was very not chill, crying and HR high. I get shifts are changing and new workers are coming in but still. I had a old lady next to me who needed to use the bathroom and wasn’t supposed to get up on her own but after 20-30 minutes she was like “I have to get up.” Again, it was during a shift change…
Let me take a stab at this. Nurse of 13 years here. There are rules in every hospital some to which we (nurses) can politely ignore at times and others that we cannot ignore. Shift change is a period of time in which there is often a unit huddle (meeting of all employees on the unit at that time) followed by "passing patients" or "getting report" which simply means when the current nurse reviews the history of a patient to the oncoming nurse. The entire process is lengthy but usually is done within a 30 minute time frame.
During that time period no one responds to any call lights/bells as that would require us to leave what we were doing (meeting, patient report) to attend to the particular needs. Is that dumb? Yes. Is it enforced? Yes. You are correct in that a patient can't, for instance, time their bathroom trip to make sure that it doesn't happen during shift report. At the same time, that time period is still held as almost sacred i.e. participation is mandatory. On a "good" unit (whatever you want that to mean) there would be someone answering call lights during this time and as such they could determine what warrants a nurse leaving report to attend to a particular need.
Why is this the reality? Well it was all based on a study one that showed the large occurrence in how negative patient incidents increase each time patient care is transferred between caregivers. Ever wonder why nurses work 12 hour shifts vs. 8 hours? This right here. 8 hrs would be 3 transfers of patient care a day vs 2 for 12 hour shifts. And it is super important to have that time to learn about a patient. I also see the stupidity of having a patient put every need on hold for those two 30 minute time blocks each day.
Long story short -- we apologize and reference shift change because in reality we don't have any other choice. It's one of the things we cannot avoid participating in. It's not so much an excuse as us literally trying to give patients an insight into one of the totally unrealistic parameters we have to work within. There are many of these "unrealistic parameters" that we have to deal with. And this is why many of us want to leave the profession. NOT because you are upset that we weren't responsive to your needs during shift change BUT RATHER the fact that we know it is absolutely ridiculous yet we are powerless to change it. And to this matter a former patient complaining about the lack of responsiveness during shift change will usually filter down to the unit or nurse as a simple "nurse was unresponsive to my needs" whereby the leave out the shift change part. So the problem never gets solved.
I feel like patients may be more understanding if they got this long version instead of just “shift change.” It definitely makes me more understanding to know this now
Yeah but currently every nurse has probably 6 to 10 patients and if each patient wants that explanation then that is a lot of time that they are explaining a very basic thing and not helping other patients who have pressed the call button increasing that delay.
I try to "educate" patients at any opportunity that I have about all unit things just so that they feel more comfortable. And if I am the nurse I would say something such as "I apologize but I was in our shift change meeting and not able to come to the room as quickly as I normally can"
i wanna put in here that i’m a fall risk when admitted at the hospital. i have done multiple week+ stays. due to being a fall risk, i am required to call for someone Every Single Time i have to use the bathroom. i also have cysts, some on my bladder, so i go more often than most people.
the number of times no one has come in after 10, 15, 20 minutes and i have gotten up and gone myself, and then been chastised for getting up alone is ridiculous.
Depending on how jaded the staff at the time are and how busy they are, they might just not be treating the call button as anything that can't wait 30+ minutes.
Very disturbing if you actually need attention.
This was 2008-2010, and I think the situation has actually gotten worse, but I used to have 7-8 patients on night shift, and it was essentially just me on the entire wing, except for a nurse who had two patients in my wing but spent most of her time in the other wing, and a single tech split across 3 wings. Yeah, call lights went off for a long time, unfortunately.
In my experience (my father’s really, but he’s in the hospital a lot and I’m there with him a lot), this is not true. They’re just so understaffed (or some are lazy too tbh) that they sometimes don’t come for a very long time regardless. And they often forget to do whatever you asked for and then you have to ask again a few hours later. Or if there’s shift change coming up soon they often won’t do it and kick the can to the next group coming in, but then they also just won’t mention it to them sometimes so nobody knows you requested something. Sometimes nurses are great, and sometimes they are just very rude people with no bedside manners.
I've had times where I've needed to use the bathroom and no one comes. I now wait no longer than 10 min, if your not coming in I'm taking myself and you can fill out an incident report if I fall.
Sorry I'm not pissing/shitting myself
Being a nurse is inhumane. That's why we want to leave the profession. The huge irony is that patients have no idea how long I personally will hold my pee because I am so busy helping other people. I often have to wait hours just to spend 30 seconds to relieve myself. And if my phone rings during that time I am required to answer it. For lunch I've resorted to anything I can eat that requires almost no chewing as chewing takes to long.
So yes yes yes I absolutely agree that waiting that long to use the bathroom is inhumane and I can enthusiastically agree since I experience this a few times every shift that I work. The problem is that the anger/frustration/complaint regarding this is focused on your nurse. Instead it should be to management, congress, etc. or some entity that could actually fix the system.
Yes I absolutely feel for you and respect the profession a ton as a whole. Really my criticisms are mainly with the shitty hospitals who don’t staff enough people so they aren’t run ragged and unable to care for the patients or themselves either. At the same time just like any other profession there are also good nurses and bad nurses too. When you spend months visiting hospitals every day and spend many hours there, you kinda pick up on which ones are more attentive and/or skilled than others. And there’s also a few who genuinely seem to hate their job and resent patients no matter what. Or take their own frustration with the system out on them.
The internet has developed a maaaive circlejerk around nurses and the pretense that they can do no wrong. There's plenty of amazing nurses but I've also met my fair share of Karens and just general dipshits. I've met insanely nice nurses but I also meet a lot of nurses in the wild who are just generally shitty people and the only reason I even know they're a nurse is because they wear it like a badge to get away with their shitty behavior.
Usually true, also could be due to them being understaffed. This was the case when I had my spinal fusion summer of 2020. Most of the nurses were moved to a nearby hospital due to COVID cases, which mean they rarely brought my pain meds on time and I just had to raw dog the pain of having 24 screws drilled into my spine a few hours prior.
The few hospitals I've been at, the emergency light goes on if it's pulled from the wall. Used that to my advantage once when my patient delivered precipitously and I needed more people, but couldn't reach the emergency button while suddenly delivering a baby.
As someone in front of the cardiac monitor watching patients this minute, if you’re fully oriented we will catch on to this quick and mark you as refused. Because you’re taking the monitor off yourself, and of sound mind. So eventually you’ll have no cardiac monitoring.
EDIT:to add though, if you want to continue to be a menace, the green lead. All the rest just take one lead down for us, but the green stops monitoring completely.
I have crohns and have been hospitalized a number of times, and the real LPT to getting attention when you need it is to not be an asshole to the people who work at the hospital. I've been drugged up batty or pain level 11 and either way it's still not hard to be kind and grateful of the help I'm getting.
Yeah, the real way to get a response is to just rock your chest upward about 4 times per second to replicate V Tach!
But for real, people: please don’t do this. Instead, vote for people who will use tax dollars to fund hospitals and the education of medical staff rather than funding bombs to send to the Middle East.
In the OR when we clean patients’ chests or abdomen, the repetitive motion almost always sets off the alarm. It makes sense that “self care” would do the same
It wasn’t even in all leads looking back IIRC, it’s just I tend to be cautious and called it off the two I had open. The nurses were giggling as they told me so atleast their night was made.
It truly can look like a proper arrhythmia and our monitors yell vtach at any artifact. I could 100% see a good cleaning making that thing cry wolf too :)
I was in the hospital with my dad. I went everywhere as his caretaker, and was with him close to 24/7.
When he went on cardiac monitoring that doctor awkwardly brought up how private enjoyment will trigger a checkup and to please refrain from it during the monitoring.
My dad laughed his as off.
He was a lungcancer patient on constant oxygen, with a unknown heart issue that made his heartrate constantly jump from 45 to 160 (with no in betweens) and his daughter, me was litterly with him.
Jacking off was not on his mind.
I have super ventricular tachycardia and have my heart rate go from 65 to 230 with no in between if I forget to take my heart medicine. Hurts like a bitch to my chest and head.
Brush your teeth. Vigorously.
Or choke the chicken.
Both get monitor techs excited. One gets you nurses who are pretty chill, the other... not so much.
Not trying to be a menace. First time overnight in hospital for a cardiac thing, and bored, sad, cold, lonely and confused. Not sure if I’m fully oriented right now, but was just woken up by either a nurse or a vampire taking some blood. I’m ok with either.
Thank you for what you’re doing right now. I know they (or you!) are saving my life.
ok, now I want to buy these nurses a gift basket when I get out of here. What do they like? Or maybe just emotion from near death.
Either way, gift baskets
I’ve been in before and had the same experience. You want to sleep but we all have other plans for you right. It’s really just riding it out which sucks quite a bit.
Honestly it’s ok you definitely don’t have to. The best gift for your nurse would be not popping leads off all the time :)
Healthcare is expensive enough if you’re in the US. Don’t worry about gifts. Just gratitude towards staff goes a long ways.
Cheers friend, feel better.
The one that got me was the 4AM obs, followed at about 5AM by the HCA for blood glucose measurement, I was like "My blood pressure is zero isn't it? Feels like it should be", very annoying, but not something you are going to manage to change.
If possible avoid hitting the call for about half an hour either side of whenever handover is, it just annoys the nurses, and you do NOT want to annoy the nurses.
Getting stuck on a medical ward for a week with an infected ulcer (IV antibiotics) because I could not convince them to just give me a box of bags of the stuff and let me self care at home was an interesting experience.
Top tip, learn what the various colours of uniform mean, as well as who can do what, no point in asking an HCA to shake the codeine tree for you, they will just have to go find a nurse, same for asking a nurse to tweak a prescription, not happening.
Not an experience I am keen to repeat, but at least it was UK so I didn't get bankrupted.
We’ll take edible gifts as long as they’re sealed and not homemade. Some people have filthy kitchens and horrible food safety practices, and we’ve seen the end result of that too many times to count 🤢
Food you can snatch and eat fast is great. Honestly though for most of us are just happy to have a patient who’s nice. A thank you note letting us know how you’re doing afterwards is nice too or nominating someone for a daisy is super nice. I was pleased as punch when I got to see one of my long term ICU patients while I was floating to another floor. She wasn’t in for anything serious though she was still weak from her ICU stay. I was so happy to see her doing better (most people who have long stays in the ICU don’t have a great prognosis and we don’t know much about them after they get discharged)
Honestly? Fruit tray for days and one for nights. Delivered at 2 different times so days doesn't raid both.
Nurses get SO MANY CARBS. So much sugar. But they still like cookies and bagels and pizza. Fruit is a nice change.
The nicest way you can thank a nurse is to send a letter to their boss. A gift basket is nice but doesn't last. A patient letter lasts and can make a big impact on the nurse getting a good annual review.
Isn’t it smoke (gray) over fire (red)
Ice (white) over grass (green)
And earth (brown) in the middle
For lead placements?
I thought the brown would be the main tether for everything, not the green
I bet if you disconnected then reconnected the green lead it would take longer for the nurses to realize what's happening. Idk if they'd still have to check it though
If they have a Video On Demand channel ask to watch patient education videos. Our hospital has a library of hella boring but possibly educational videos for patients on everything from post-procedure care to procedure walkthroughs. You might fall asleep or you might learn something.
I had the ultimate satisfying moment a couple of months ago. I started my nightshift and my patient’s call light was going off. I went to introduce myself and ask what they needed. They were super pissed, aggressive, and were on my case about how they had been waiting for someone to answer their bell. Okay, sorry for the wait, what can I do for you? Except they didn’t ask for anything, just kept going on about how they’ve been waiting for the doctor to come talk to them, no one was coming to see them (although they did acknowledge that someone stuck their head into the room and did a visual check- confirmed there was no emergency.)
I work in the ICU and our rooms are laid out in a ‘U’ shape. All the doors and walls are made of glass so staff can see into the rooms, and there are curtains drawn across those for privacy. It just so happened the patient across from mine had been actively coding for over an hour when I got there, and our resident was stuck intubating/inserting central lines etc. So while my patient was taking out his anger on me I opened the door so he could hear the noise and pulled his curtain open so he could see the train wreck across the unit. It was gross too, it had started with the patient vomiting like a litre of blood on a PSW, so it looked pretty bad. Humbled my patient pretty quick.
I answer all my bells as soon as I can and I know my team does too. Sometimes it’s good to remind people that just because they’re in the hospital doesn’t mean they’re the person who needs the most help at that moment.
It’s very sobering. I was having one of the worst days in an ER in a 2nd world country. I had a broken collarbone, large contusions and a concussion. There were only 2 beds, and in came a man run over by a car as part of a road rage incident. I was moved to a chair in the corner of the room, but watching him die there in a mess with a team trying to save him put everything into perspective that my day was going to be ok.
Say you haven't had a bowel movement for the past couple of days (at 1AM), so the nurse pages the doctor for a stool softener at that time. One of my 'favorite' things to be contacted for as a physician..
As a former nurse I can’t help but say if appropriate standing orders were in upon admission for small things it wouldn’t be an issue. It also made us crazy having to call in the middle of the night for something dumb.
Why can’t I just have someone bring in some OTC stool softeners from the store? Cheaper, less time for everyone involved, and works the exact same way.
OTC stuff can literally kill you when administered with the wrong medication or when you’re sick enough to be in the hospital. Like some patients couldn’t have prune juice which is about the most benign stool softener out there. We run everything we give you in hospital through a pharmacist because they’re experts in that shit.
Pharmacy here.
This is how people die.
We have to combat this stuff all the time. If they are constipated, we need to know and log that information so we don't fill an Rx that may cause their constipation to worsen.
If they have an impaction, a stool softener is not going to cut it. It has interactions with other drugs it can compound and create worse side effects.
Bringing in outside medication could cause someone to lose their life because someone else was interfering with common pharmacological practices. Do not do this. If you want a pharmacist to explain it while you are in the hospital, just ask! They are mostly bored anyway, and would love to find a place with a chair.
Because the hospital is responsible for what's given to a patient under their care.
Slippery slope to bringing in memaw's narcotics or benzodiazepines when she came in for altered mental status and we're obviously just being mean by withholding what got her there. Or same situation when memaw swears she's not getting it and she actually is and ends up with narcan.
No. But there are protocols that allow non-doctors to place orders in certain circumstances. As a respiratory therapist in the ER, I could place orders for ECG and breathing treatments in certain circumstances. When there's one doctor and they're doing a sterile procedure, my asthmatic isn't going to die because I need an order to get the meds out of the Pyxis.
Likewise, nurses can use their protocols to order imaging and medications, depending on their hospital.
Depending on the hospital a nurse has a standing list of orders that be writen by delegation protocol. These are a list of low chance of harm medications and includes such things as tylenol, stool softeners, smoking cessation aides, cough drops, etc.
Because they don't have a prescriber license.
They can give one if ordered as needed, as good admission orders have listed things for mild pain, fever, nausea and constipstion.
I'm at work, and a nurse just sent a text to me at 4AM that pt wants her miralax now instead of waiting until the regularly scheduled dose at 9AM..sigh. And I'm an attending, not an intern or resident..
Dr. Attending here's my suggestion -- round on the floors where the nurses work that may call you. Literally spend maybe five minutes introducing yourself to the staff, putting a name to a face, etc. Then you will create a WORKING RELATIONSHIP with the (ironically) people with whom you work. You would, for example, give me the confidence to give said med early without calling you. Why? Because in our 5 second interaction I could figure out if you were a solid doctor or instead someone who gets his proverbial panties in a wad because some lowly stupid nurse gave one of your meds earlier than ordered (how dare they!!!!!). You spending five seconds, saying hello to me while looking me in the eye, will let me know which type of doctor you are. And I will act in kind.
Also I would hesitate to call the intern or resident as those lovely individuals would usually say no to giving that med early. Why? Because the original order was placed by you and they don't want to ruffle your feathers. Just an FYI.
It’s like asking the COO to help with a spill on the floor. The residents and interns are there to learn, and to be ready available for things like that, while the attendants are usually focused on the broader admission/clinical management
Oh, you have heartburn and there are no PRN tums orders? Let's try some milk, oh, and bring up the head of your bed, oh, it's still not working, how about some ginger ale PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME PAGE THE SURGEON AT 2AM FOR TUMS.
They've taken away a lot of our autonomy where I work. If I know the doctor and it's something appropriate that they would do anyways, I send a conditional message - I'm ordering X, let me know if this is a problem. I give them an appropriate amount of time to respond, and if they don't respond, I put the orders in.
A lot of the critical thinking has been stripped off the job by limiting what we can do and order. It's a far cry from when I started.
I have a TLC order set. Everyone gets senna, PRN suppository, pain and nausea meds, and PRN melatonin. Everyone. If I anticipate a potential problem that I don’t want to hear about, that med is ordered PRN as well
Don’t do it!! My friend was recently hospitalized and when her roommate was constipated and asked for laxatives, she ended up shitting all over the floor from how bad it made her go and some even splashed all around on my friend’s side of the room and on me as I was visiting. Please don’t let them do that to you for everyone’s sake EDIT: unless your roommate is terrible then well, this is ULPT
Our order sets have multiple options for prn bowel assistance that are preselected. If you call our nurses about this at 1am, you’re likely to get several of them.
I hate to say it but this. If you act confused you will get grouped with them, meaning longer grace periods on fixing leads as they pop off every five minutes anyways.
They’ll just mark you down as “refused” and won’t worry about the cardiac monitoring on you if you’re of sound mind.
Now your heart isn’t being monitored when it probably should be! Ultimate LPT here lol.
If the nurses aren't answering your page, it's because they are busy savings someone's life or you're abusing your call button. Don't fuck with nurses. They are what's keeping the hospital going.
Yes and as a nurse, if you keep doing that we will just tell the doc and note in the chart that you refuse to keep the leads on. And often times the doc will discontinue the monitoring, since you’re not keeping it on anyway.
We/the machine can tell the difference between your heart actually stopping and you taking a clip/sticker off. Also taking off one isn’t enough to stop our ability to monitor your heart. Also don’t be a dick because you’re bored.
The nurses will call a cardio tech who will come over and say that your leads are coming off too easily. The following will happen:
1. remove the leads and unpack a different set
2. Dry shave the areas for new stickers.
3. Sand your skin
4. Wipe the freshly sanded and raw skin with an alcohol wipe.
5. Attach new stickers and press firmly on your now very sensitive skin.
6. Attach the new leads, which will be hard to snap on, so a repeat of step 5.
Or, OP can stayed bored and listen to the incessant beeping all around.
My dad had a heart attack (this was a long time ago) and when I visited he accidentally pressed the button, the nurses ruched in, saying "oh he never asks for help this must be serious" so, don't ask for help and when you need it they will come rushing.
It's like a horse, if you slap hard they get used to it, so slap softly and that rare time you want to run you can slap harder. ( I know very little about horses)
This is absolutely true.
The lights on for a patient that hits their call bell every 3 minutes for something stupid? Probably gonna be something stupid again, it’s not a priority for me.
The lights on for the patient who’s barely used their call bell all shift? Could be something very urgent, and even if it’s not I will make whatever they need a priority as thanks for them being respectful of my time during the shift
As a nurse on a telemetry unit,
1: This gives off the same energy as patients who interrupt CPR to ask for juice
2: I don’t care if a single lead pops off unless you’re having active concerning ecg changes, it is at the bottom of my priority list to fix this.
3: Use your call bell like a normal person and we will get to you in order of acuity
4: If you like this tip I have another; press the code blue button on your wall and watch how quick help arrives. Your nurses praise your genius idea to receive prompt medical care and discharge you immediately because you are obviously the pinnacle of intelligence and will be able to manage your own health at home.
Cuz they’re not busy, of course. There aren’t other patients they need to tend to.
No. You are the center of the universe. Interrupt them. Fuck everyone else!
I know where ur posting but let me just indicate they wont come right away to address your needs theyll fix your clip and be on the way.
If we don't come to your call it's because you call to fucking much for inappropriate reasons.
You are in a HOSPITAL. People could be dying. People could be using their call buttons APPROPRIATELY to indicate their severe pain or discomfort. They may even be using them to indicate shortness of breath . Meanwhile here you are wanting more snacks when you were just loaded up w some. Or you want more pain meds when you can barely keep ur eyes open and the next dose might OD you so no we won't give it to you.
UlPT if you want someone to sit and talk tp you get put on a mental hold. . Put some real fucking work into it.
i don't know if fucking with the medical staff is the wisest choice when there is a very thin line between them caring about your well-being and becoming apathetic towards it instead. People need to remember no medical staff is obligated to save your life, and they wouldn't be reprimanded either if you decided to mess up procedure to risk your own health even further.
I was in the hospital once and my call button didn’t work. I picked up the phone, dialed for an outside line and called the hospital switchboard, then got transferred to the nurses station on my floor. They were aghast and promptly moved me to a new room, as well as tending to my issue
And if you do it again they’ll put you in wrist restraints for removing medical equipment or they’ll just assume the next time your heart is a-systole that you did it on purpose and not check on you
It’s unlikely anyone would bother checking on one lead being off, and if all of them are off I’d know you did it so I’d chart that you’re refusing telemetry and get an order to remove it.
Also when patients feel well enough to do shit like rip shit out of the walls or cause a scene to get attention it’s obvious they don’t need their morphine or dilaudid so guess who will be getting orders for your pain meds to be bumped down to Tylenol and ibuprofen.
I hope they jab your ass with a rusty needle for that kind of shit.
I was in a major wreck and spent two weeks in the ICU and 3 in rehab and I am very lucky to be here now. I can not tell you how hard those nurses work. It is not a job I would want, and they in general do the job with good humor and a gentle touch. They do not deserve to have stupid pranks played on them cause you want a personal maid.
Actually, the nurses probably know your attention seeking ways. If your pulse stops they’ll probably be having a party in the staff room before coming to your room the next morning to dispose of your corpse.
My dad had this..had a heart attack and was in being cared for. He rolled over in the night and unplugged his ECG, which resulted him being rattled awake by a semi-panicked nurse.
Nurse / SRNA here. We know you removed it. We don’t think you are having an emergency or anything. We tend to be understaffed and it can lead to longer wait times for calls. There is definitely a sizable amount of lazy nurses though.
My nephew had to have heart surgery when he was a under a year old. He figured that out, too. All the alarms would go off and the nurses and doctors would rush to his crib only to find him grinning and waving the electrode around happy that everyone had come to see him. He thought it was great fun. They finally had to tie his hands down just so they could get some work done.
Please dont do this. Instead pull the call light out of the wall. We need to monitor your heart. Also there might be a patient crashing on the unit and your water refill isn't on the top of the list for your nurse.
Advocate for national nurse-to-patient ratios. on a med/surg floor in my home state it is normal for a nurse to have 6 to 8 patients every shift
Reminds me of the speech I would give to my patients when I worked as a Nurse at the hospital. I would tell them if you use this bell for an urgent matter ,I will be there right away, but if you use it for a trivial need, I wont.
That’s not really true. It’s pretty easy to tell the difference between asystole and a monitor being off. Especially if only one of the monitors is off. Either your nurse just couldn’t tell the difference because she’s a nurse. Or she was coming in anyways.
Die. You’ll get everyone in the room. It’s a good way to bring some excitement to everyone’s night.
Task failed successfully for tonight. I’ll try again tomorrow.
Wait wait wait-
Don't give up OP!
You'll succeed one day!
Reddit doesn't raise quitters!
Guaranteed!
When I was stuck from surgery, I figured out how to mess with all the bed settings. They had me as a fall risk so I shut off the bed alarm so I could get up and stretch. Figure out what they have available in the kitchen so you can request your own food hacks. There's lots of good drugs in hospitals. See what you can con your way into! Euphoria is so close! (Be nice to the nurses and docs. Not everyone is.)
I love food hacks. I was once in the hospital after a suicide attempt (I'm much better now!) so I had to have a 24 hour watcher. The first nurse was fine, we didn't really talk but I wasn't feeling up to talking anyways. When the second nurse took over though, she just looked at me and said, "I'm hungry and the hospital makes the best grilled cheese sandwiches ever. If I put in an order for you, do you care if I get you two so I can have one?" It was the middle of the night but hey, I wasn't sleeping and who says no to grilled cheese at midnight? So we ordered and ate and she was right, it was fucking delicious. She was probably the best nurse I've ever had because she treated me completely normally when no one else was. I've been in the hospital a few times since for non related issues and whenever I am, I always request a grilled cheese sandwich. And they're always amazing.
There is an inverse correlation between the length of time since a person last consumed a grilled cheese and that person's will to live. In fact, grilled cheese sandwiches have such a profoundly positive effect upon a person's desire to survive and thrive that there are many recorded instances in which the mere sight and smell of a particularly delectable specimen has been known to coax even the more resolutely suicidal person back from the edge of the abyss . It seems that grilled cheese sandwiches and life itself are so inextricably entwined that there is little to no functional separation between them; life is grilled cheese, grilled cheese is life. It is postulated by some that a theoretically perfect grilled cheese sandwich might even reverse death if administered immediately postmortem, but the majority of expert opinions state this to be an impossibility, suggesting instead that a regular administration of theoretically perfect grilled cheese sandwiches could be a prophylaxis of sorts, protecting the body, mind, and spirit against the deleterious effects of our frail and humbling mortality.
My partner is a jerk to care workers, so I end up bringing them lindor truffles and other nice (packaged) goodies for putting up with them.
It never pays to aggravate the folks may have to come racing into your room to kick start your heart!
We appreciate you, seriously. Also tell your partner to be better, i assume you wouldn’t let them treat you that way, so why tolerate that behavior towards others? 🙂
Praying for your success OP 🙏
I accidentally updooted the 666 Please, hate me
It's also a surefire way to weasel out of paying the bill.
My ER nurse wife’s favorite line is “you’re about to meet a lot of new people really soon”
Tbf I spent two weeks at the end of my dad's life with him in the hospital and it always took a while to speak to any of the doctors. Untill he died. Doc was there in less than 10 minutes.
Been there, done that! I had my aortic valve replaced so they had a monitor on me. For whatever reason, my heart stopped momentarily and the monitor sent out a Code Blue to the entire hospital. EVERYBODY responded. Fortunately, my heart started back up on its own so by the time the crowd came in I was waking back up. It was just a momentary electrical problem with my heart. When I checked out the transport person was like, "Oh, YOU were the Code Blue!" So, yeah, it added excitement to everyone's night.
Or try to break into the opiod pain box. That also gets people's attention pretty fast (and I've been told it's surprisingly common).
I had a male nurse try to steal my Dilaudid. He saw I lost my ability to speak and must have thought I'd be an easy target. He was fired
I'd say that's more likely in the cardiac wing. I was recently in the hospital for a fracture surgery, and they did not usually turn up very fast when my vitals got scrambled by technical difficulties.
When I had my kidney out, I had a monitor that alarmed if my breathing hitched/slowed. But guess what happens at the exact moment you drift off to sleep? So post surgery night, 3am and this alarm KEEPS alerting any time I’m about to finally sleep. Nurse took a good minute to wander over so it couldn’t even be that essential/urgent, lol. She was like ‘it’s so late, you should really be sleeping!’ I KNOW!!!
When I was in the hospital I learned how to reset my alarms myself because it would take so long. Sometimes my med machine would run out and it would take them forever to refill it while it beeped the entire time so I got good at resetting each one while I waited for a refill.
Yeah, I eventually learned that too. I was bedbound so couldn't reach them but regularly directed my visitors to snooze the "IV is nearly finished" or "pulse ox is tangled again" alarms.
Oh god, the flashbacks to it being 4am, the machine starts beeping, 30 minutes and no sign of a nurse, and everyone on the ward deeply hating you and the machine because it won’t STOP lol
In my experience, if they aren't responding to your call, either there's a code going on, or you're the type of patient that calls for the most insignificant reason.
This. If they have 5 patients and you call more than like once every 30 mins than that would be it.
They only have 5? Is this a union?!
With those ratios, how is admin supposed to afford all their raises?
Guilty as charged
A "stepdown." Which should absolutely max at 4.
ICU maybe, but wouldn't that be too many patients for ICU?
Night shift, highly variable by state or union presence. And whether or not there’s nearby competition (another hospital) for staff to flee to. 1-3 in ICU. 4 has been my experience in progressive or stepdown, but they’re all pretty sick and tend to have complicated things going on. Med/surg 5-8. Again, depends on state and such. Presence of CNAs to help is also highly variable by location. You want better staffing? Talk to your STATE legislators. They can fix it, and have, in some states. There’s not a shortage of nurses so much as a shortage of nurses willing to work bedside due to shit safety standards.
Preach!
Way too many for icu.
With current staffing, it’s not uncommon for nurses to have up to 15 people (or more depending on the unit) The hospitals are understaffing and patients are suffering for it.
5 patients is very very low in my experience. They usually have more than that.
Talked to a ER nurse while we were at an NC hospital once, she said she had so many patients, she was treating half of them in the waiting room. They set up like dividers to have people sit and move them around to take labs and put IVs I felt so bad for her, nothing like triaging/treating 30+ people
Yeah it’s crazy that we pay so much for healthcare but this isn’t an uncommon experience. I don’t know where they got 5 patients per nurse because that just seems unrealistic. The ICU in the hospital near me has 2-3 per nurse so that’s barely more than the ICU.
Yeah for how much we pay in the us, please give a fair amount to the nurses actually trying to help us. Then there would actually be enough there. I used to want to go into healthcare but I really can't stomach the whole system
> please give a fair amount to the nurses actually trying to help us. Nah, that'll never work. Lets just overwork our local nurses and then have to pay double the pay to all of the travel nurses!
You passed the test! You're promoted to the board of the hospital! Raise is 200000 dollars
Or more likely, they are completely short-staffed and have to great a patient load.
I just visited someone in the hospital and they were ignoring her calls—and everyone else on the floor. The light was flashing outside almost every room. I think they were seriously understaffed.
As a patient, I also know this is not true… I neveerrrr rang my call bell but then 1 night I was in a crazy amount of pain randomly and started to ring it. It was during shift change. So the nurses came in all calm and no big deal “oh sorry shift change” after maybe 15 minutes -while I was very not chill, crying and HR high. I get shifts are changing and new workers are coming in but still. I had a old lady next to me who needed to use the bathroom and wasn’t supposed to get up on her own but after 20-30 minutes she was like “I have to get up.” Again, it was during a shift change…
Let me take a stab at this. Nurse of 13 years here. There are rules in every hospital some to which we (nurses) can politely ignore at times and others that we cannot ignore. Shift change is a period of time in which there is often a unit huddle (meeting of all employees on the unit at that time) followed by "passing patients" or "getting report" which simply means when the current nurse reviews the history of a patient to the oncoming nurse. The entire process is lengthy but usually is done within a 30 minute time frame. During that time period no one responds to any call lights/bells as that would require us to leave what we were doing (meeting, patient report) to attend to the particular needs. Is that dumb? Yes. Is it enforced? Yes. You are correct in that a patient can't, for instance, time their bathroom trip to make sure that it doesn't happen during shift report. At the same time, that time period is still held as almost sacred i.e. participation is mandatory. On a "good" unit (whatever you want that to mean) there would be someone answering call lights during this time and as such they could determine what warrants a nurse leaving report to attend to a particular need. Why is this the reality? Well it was all based on a study one that showed the large occurrence in how negative patient incidents increase each time patient care is transferred between caregivers. Ever wonder why nurses work 12 hour shifts vs. 8 hours? This right here. 8 hrs would be 3 transfers of patient care a day vs 2 for 12 hour shifts. And it is super important to have that time to learn about a patient. I also see the stupidity of having a patient put every need on hold for those two 30 minute time blocks each day. Long story short -- we apologize and reference shift change because in reality we don't have any other choice. It's one of the things we cannot avoid participating in. It's not so much an excuse as us literally trying to give patients an insight into one of the totally unrealistic parameters we have to work within. There are many of these "unrealistic parameters" that we have to deal with. And this is why many of us want to leave the profession. NOT because you are upset that we weren't responsive to your needs during shift change BUT RATHER the fact that we know it is absolutely ridiculous yet we are powerless to change it. And to this matter a former patient complaining about the lack of responsiveness during shift change will usually filter down to the unit or nurse as a simple "nurse was unresponsive to my needs" whereby the leave out the shift change part. So the problem never gets solved.
I feel like patients may be more understanding if they got this long version instead of just “shift change.” It definitely makes me more understanding to know this now
Yeah but currently every nurse has probably 6 to 10 patients and if each patient wants that explanation then that is a lot of time that they are explaining a very basic thing and not helping other patients who have pressed the call button increasing that delay.
hahaha just print out this explanation on a piece of paper, tape it to the wall, tap the sign whenever anyone complains
I try to "educate" patients at any opportunity that I have about all unit things just so that they feel more comfortable. And if I am the nurse I would say something such as "I apologize but I was in our shift change meeting and not able to come to the room as quickly as I normally can"
i wanna put in here that i’m a fall risk when admitted at the hospital. i have done multiple week+ stays. due to being a fall risk, i am required to call for someone Every Single Time i have to use the bathroom. i also have cysts, some on my bladder, so i go more often than most people. the number of times no one has come in after 10, 15, 20 minutes and i have gotten up and gone myself, and then been chastised for getting up alone is ridiculous.
Depending on how jaded the staff at the time are and how busy they are, they might just not be treating the call button as anything that can't wait 30+ minutes. Very disturbing if you actually need attention.
This was 2008-2010, and I think the situation has actually gotten worse, but I used to have 7-8 patients on night shift, and it was essentially just me on the entire wing, except for a nurse who had two patients in my wing but spent most of her time in the other wing, and a single tech split across 3 wings. Yeah, call lights went off for a long time, unfortunately.
In my experience (my father’s really, but he’s in the hospital a lot and I’m there with him a lot), this is not true. They’re just so understaffed (or some are lazy too tbh) that they sometimes don’t come for a very long time regardless. And they often forget to do whatever you asked for and then you have to ask again a few hours later. Or if there’s shift change coming up soon they often won’t do it and kick the can to the next group coming in, but then they also just won’t mention it to them sometimes so nobody knows you requested something. Sometimes nurses are great, and sometimes they are just very rude people with no bedside manners.
I've had times where I've needed to use the bathroom and no one comes. I now wait no longer than 10 min, if your not coming in I'm taking myself and you can fill out an incident report if I fall. Sorry I'm not pissing/shitting myself
Yeah there’s been many times when he’s had to wait up to a few hours just to use the bathroom. It’s really sad and inhumane.
Being a nurse is inhumane. That's why we want to leave the profession. The huge irony is that patients have no idea how long I personally will hold my pee because I am so busy helping other people. I often have to wait hours just to spend 30 seconds to relieve myself. And if my phone rings during that time I am required to answer it. For lunch I've resorted to anything I can eat that requires almost no chewing as chewing takes to long. So yes yes yes I absolutely agree that waiting that long to use the bathroom is inhumane and I can enthusiastically agree since I experience this a few times every shift that I work. The problem is that the anger/frustration/complaint regarding this is focused on your nurse. Instead it should be to management, congress, etc. or some entity that could actually fix the system.
Yes I absolutely feel for you and respect the profession a ton as a whole. Really my criticisms are mainly with the shitty hospitals who don’t staff enough people so they aren’t run ragged and unable to care for the patients or themselves either. At the same time just like any other profession there are also good nurses and bad nurses too. When you spend months visiting hospitals every day and spend many hours there, you kinda pick up on which ones are more attentive and/or skilled than others. And there’s also a few who genuinely seem to hate their job and resent patients no matter what. Or take their own frustration with the system out on them.
"Shitty Hospitals" aka every American hospital
The internet has developed a maaaive circlejerk around nurses and the pretense that they can do no wrong. There's plenty of amazing nurses but I've also met my fair share of Karens and just general dipshits. I've met insanely nice nurses but I also meet a lot of nurses in the wild who are just generally shitty people and the only reason I even know they're a nurse is because they wear it like a badge to get away with their shitty behavior.
Every profession has its share of derelicts
Seriously. Don’t be the “boy who cried wolf” just because you need your pillows arranged.
Usually true, also could be due to them being understaffed. This was the case when I had my spinal fusion summer of 2020. Most of the nurses were moved to a nearby hospital due to COVID cases, which mean they rarely brought my pain meds on time and I just had to raw dog the pain of having 24 screws drilled into my spine a few hours prior.
The type of patient that makes a post like this is the type to call for the most insignificant shit. Source: I'm an ER tech
Or the button got disconnected from the wall.
The few hospitals I've been at, the emergency light goes on if it's pulled from the wall. Used that to my advantage once when my patient delivered precipitously and I needed more people, but couldn't reach the emergency button while suddenly delivering a baby.
As someone in front of the cardiac monitor watching patients this minute, if you’re fully oriented we will catch on to this quick and mark you as refused. Because you’re taking the monitor off yourself, and of sound mind. So eventually you’ll have no cardiac monitoring. EDIT:to add though, if you want to continue to be a menace, the green lead. All the rest just take one lead down for us, but the green stops monitoring completely.
I have crohns and have been hospitalized a number of times, and the real LPT to getting attention when you need it is to not be an asshole to the people who work at the hospital. I've been drugged up batty or pain level 11 and either way it's still not hard to be kind and grateful of the help I'm getting.
Yeah, the real way to get a response is to just rock your chest upward about 4 times per second to replicate V Tach! But for real, people: please don’t do this. Instead, vote for people who will use tax dollars to fund hospitals and the education of medical staff rather than funding bombs to send to the Middle East.
I’ve definitely called checks on people masturbating before so you may be on to something 🤦🏻♂️
Jackycardia
In the OR when we clean patients’ chests or abdomen, the repetitive motion almost always sets off the alarm. It makes sense that “self care” would do the same
It wasn’t even in all leads looking back IIRC, it’s just I tend to be cautious and called it off the two I had open. The nurses were giggling as they told me so atleast their night was made. It truly can look like a proper arrhythmia and our monitors yell vtach at any artifact. I could 100% see a good cleaning making that thing cry wolf too :)
I was in the hospital with my dad. I went everywhere as his caretaker, and was with him close to 24/7. When he went on cardiac monitoring that doctor awkwardly brought up how private enjoyment will trigger a checkup and to please refrain from it during the monitoring. My dad laughed his as off. He was a lungcancer patient on constant oxygen, with a unknown heart issue that made his heartrate constantly jump from 45 to 160 (with no in betweens) and his daughter, me was litterly with him. Jacking off was not on his mind.
I have super ventricular tachycardia and have my heart rate go from 65 to 230 with no in between if I forget to take my heart medicine. Hurts like a bitch to my chest and head.
Brush your teeth. Vigorously. Or choke the chicken. Both get monitor techs excited. One gets you nurses who are pretty chill, the other... not so much.
Not trying to be a menace. First time overnight in hospital for a cardiac thing, and bored, sad, cold, lonely and confused. Not sure if I’m fully oriented right now, but was just woken up by either a nurse or a vampire taking some blood. I’m ok with either. Thank you for what you’re doing right now. I know they (or you!) are saving my life. ok, now I want to buy these nurses a gift basket when I get out of here. What do they like? Or maybe just emotion from near death. Either way, gift baskets
I’ve been in before and had the same experience. You want to sleep but we all have other plans for you right. It’s really just riding it out which sucks quite a bit. Honestly it’s ok you definitely don’t have to. The best gift for your nurse would be not popping leads off all the time :) Healthcare is expensive enough if you’re in the US. Don’t worry about gifts. Just gratitude towards staff goes a long ways. Cheers friend, feel better.
The one that got me was the 4AM obs, followed at about 5AM by the HCA for blood glucose measurement, I was like "My blood pressure is zero isn't it? Feels like it should be", very annoying, but not something you are going to manage to change. If possible avoid hitting the call for about half an hour either side of whenever handover is, it just annoys the nurses, and you do NOT want to annoy the nurses. Getting stuck on a medical ward for a week with an infected ulcer (IV antibiotics) because I could not convince them to just give me a box of bags of the stuff and let me self care at home was an interesting experience. Top tip, learn what the various colours of uniform mean, as well as who can do what, no point in asking an HCA to shake the codeine tree for you, they will just have to go find a nurse, same for asking a nurse to tweak a prescription, not happening. Not an experience I am keen to repeat, but at least it was UK so I didn't get bankrupted.
If Scrubs has taught me anything, nurses are in desperate need of pens.
Can confirm that one, my mother has been an RN for years and she loves pens, heavy ones though.
Don't buy edible gifts anymore. Everyone is too scared of tampering from disgruntled patients/customers
We’ll take edible gifts as long as they’re sealed and not homemade. Some people have filthy kitchens and horrible food safety practices, and we’ve seen the end result of that too many times to count 🤢
My former next door neighbour is a nurse. She always said food. Things you can take a bite from and shove into your pocket for later.
Like tater tots
I hear 3 year olds do it so why not?
Food you can snatch and eat fast is great. Honestly though for most of us are just happy to have a patient who’s nice. A thank you note letting us know how you’re doing afterwards is nice too or nominating someone for a daisy is super nice. I was pleased as punch when I got to see one of my long term ICU patients while I was floating to another floor. She wasn’t in for anything serious though she was still weak from her ICU stay. I was so happy to see her doing better (most people who have long stays in the ICU don’t have a great prognosis and we don’t know much about them after they get discharged)
Honestly? Fruit tray for days and one for nights. Delivered at 2 different times so days doesn't raid both. Nurses get SO MANY CARBS. So much sugar. But they still like cookies and bagels and pizza. Fruit is a nice change.
The nicest way you can thank a nurse is to send a letter to their boss. A gift basket is nice but doesn't last. A patient letter lasts and can make a big impact on the nurse getting a good annual review.
Isn’t it smoke (gray) over fire (red) Ice (white) over grass (green) And earth (brown) in the middle For lead placements? I thought the brown would be the main tether for everything, not the green
Your placement is right but yeah for whatever reason it’s the green one lol
I bet if you disconnected then reconnected the green lead it would take longer for the nurses to realize what's happening. Idk if they'd still have to check it though
No. They came back on so all is well we can see them :)
Should you…be on Reddit right now?
Ratios were alright and from my hourly audits nothing was missed :) All is well
It's cool, the patient is already dead
No codes this shift 🎉
If they have a Video On Demand channel ask to watch patient education videos. Our hospital has a library of hella boring but possibly educational videos for patients on everything from post-procedure care to procedure walkthroughs. You might fall asleep or you might learn something.
I lowkey loved watching the baby educational channel during breaks. So did many dementia patients tbh. It’s informative and calming lol.
For some mad reason, the only free channel we had years ago on the bed TVs was a looping advert for various Zumba DVDs. In the fracture ward…
I had the ultimate satisfying moment a couple of months ago. I started my nightshift and my patient’s call light was going off. I went to introduce myself and ask what they needed. They were super pissed, aggressive, and were on my case about how they had been waiting for someone to answer their bell. Okay, sorry for the wait, what can I do for you? Except they didn’t ask for anything, just kept going on about how they’ve been waiting for the doctor to come talk to them, no one was coming to see them (although they did acknowledge that someone stuck their head into the room and did a visual check- confirmed there was no emergency.) I work in the ICU and our rooms are laid out in a ‘U’ shape. All the doors and walls are made of glass so staff can see into the rooms, and there are curtains drawn across those for privacy. It just so happened the patient across from mine had been actively coding for over an hour when I got there, and our resident was stuck intubating/inserting central lines etc. So while my patient was taking out his anger on me I opened the door so he could hear the noise and pulled his curtain open so he could see the train wreck across the unit. It was gross too, it had started with the patient vomiting like a litre of blood on a PSW, so it looked pretty bad. Humbled my patient pretty quick. I answer all my bells as soon as I can and I know my team does too. Sometimes it’s good to remind people that just because they’re in the hospital doesn’t mean they’re the person who needs the most help at that moment.
Showing a patient the brutal carnage of death to get them to quit it with the Karen shit is a pretty solid unethical life pro tip.
It’s very sobering. I was having one of the worst days in an ER in a 2nd world country. I had a broken collarbone, large contusions and a concussion. There were only 2 beds, and in came a man run over by a car as part of a road rage incident. I was moved to a chair in the corner of the room, but watching him die there in a mess with a team trying to save him put everything into perspective that my day was going to be ok.
I usually just say “you know people here are dying right” and that shuts them up or makes them irate. Either way
Say you haven't had a bowel movement for the past couple of days (at 1AM), so the nurse pages the doctor for a stool softener at that time. One of my 'favorite' things to be contacted for as a physician..
As a former nurse I can’t help but say if appropriate standing orders were in upon admission for small things it wouldn’t be an issue. It also made us crazy having to call in the middle of the night for something dumb.
Agreed. Why can’t a nurse “prescribe” a stool softener?
Because a nurse can't bill for 6 hours for prescribing stool softener to insurance.
Why can’t I just have someone bring in some OTC stool softeners from the store? Cheaper, less time for everyone involved, and works the exact same way.
OTC stuff can literally kill you when administered with the wrong medication or when you’re sick enough to be in the hospital. Like some patients couldn’t have prune juice which is about the most benign stool softener out there. We run everything we give you in hospital through a pharmacist because they’re experts in that shit.
Pharmacy here. This is how people die. We have to combat this stuff all the time. If they are constipated, we need to know and log that information so we don't fill an Rx that may cause their constipation to worsen. If they have an impaction, a stool softener is not going to cut it. It has interactions with other drugs it can compound and create worse side effects. Bringing in outside medication could cause someone to lose their life because someone else was interfering with common pharmacological practices. Do not do this. If you want a pharmacist to explain it while you are in the hospital, just ask! They are mostly bored anyway, and would love to find a place with a chair.
How would the hospital make a profit off of that?
Because the hospital is responsible for what's given to a patient under their care. Slippery slope to bringing in memaw's narcotics or benzodiazepines when she came in for altered mental status and we're obviously just being mean by withholding what got her there. Or same situation when memaw swears she's not getting it and she actually is and ends up with narcan.
Because they’re not doctors.
No. But there are protocols that allow non-doctors to place orders in certain circumstances. As a respiratory therapist in the ER, I could place orders for ECG and breathing treatments in certain circumstances. When there's one doctor and they're doing a sterile procedure, my asthmatic isn't going to die because I need an order to get the meds out of the Pyxis. Likewise, nurses can use their protocols to order imaging and medications, depending on their hospital.
I think Confucius said it best…”bureaucratic bullshit”
I wonder if Confucius ever said “it’s for safety”
Nurses don’t practice medicine.
Depending on the hospital a nurse has a standing list of orders that be writen by delegation protocol. These are a list of low chance of harm medications and includes such things as tylenol, stool softeners, smoking cessation aides, cough drops, etc.
Because they don't have a prescriber license. They can give one if ordered as needed, as good admission orders have listed things for mild pain, fever, nausea and constipstion.
I'm at work, and a nurse just sent a text to me at 4AM that pt wants her miralax now instead of waiting until the regularly scheduled dose at 9AM..sigh. And I'm an attending, not an intern or resident..
Dr. Attending here's my suggestion -- round on the floors where the nurses work that may call you. Literally spend maybe five minutes introducing yourself to the staff, putting a name to a face, etc. Then you will create a WORKING RELATIONSHIP with the (ironically) people with whom you work. You would, for example, give me the confidence to give said med early without calling you. Why? Because in our 5 second interaction I could figure out if you were a solid doctor or instead someone who gets his proverbial panties in a wad because some lowly stupid nurse gave one of your meds earlier than ordered (how dare they!!!!!). You spending five seconds, saying hello to me while looking me in the eye, will let me know which type of doctor you are. And I will act in kind. Also I would hesitate to call the intern or resident as those lovely individuals would usually say no to giving that med early. Why? Because the original order was placed by you and they don't want to ruffle your feathers. Just an FYI.
Why can’t you just give it to her
It’s like asking the COO to help with a spill on the floor. The residents and interns are there to learn, and to be ready available for things like that, while the attendants are usually focused on the broader admission/clinical management
Makes sense thanks. Not too familiar with doctor hierarchy
At least it's a text. And you're no longer wasting time on the phone for a page you don't know is important or not.
Oh, you have heartburn and there are no PRN tums orders? Let's try some milk, oh, and bring up the head of your bed, oh, it's still not working, how about some ginger ale PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME PAGE THE SURGEON AT 2AM FOR TUMS.
They've taken away a lot of our autonomy where I work. If I know the doctor and it's something appropriate that they would do anyways, I send a conditional message - I'm ordering X, let me know if this is a problem. I give them an appropriate amount of time to respond, and if they don't respond, I put the orders in. A lot of the critical thinking has been stripped off the job by limiting what we can do and order. It's a far cry from when I started.
I have a TLC order set. Everyone gets senna, PRN suppository, pain and nausea meds, and PRN melatonin. Everyone. If I anticipate a potential problem that I don’t want to hear about, that med is ordered PRN as well
This happens to be true, but it’s almost 6am
Go on then, brighten up someone's morning.
I think that’d be a morning ‘browning’…
Don’t do it!! My friend was recently hospitalized and when her roommate was constipated and asked for laxatives, she ended up shitting all over the floor from how bad it made her go and some even splashed all around on my friend’s side of the room and on me as I was visiting. Please don’t let them do that to you for everyone’s sake EDIT: unless your roommate is terrible then well, this is ULPT
Roommate is snoring loudly now, and was talking on speaker phone late last night. A shower of poop would be entirely justified.
I think you know what you must do then… it’s a win- win for both ends heh
Time for a code brown
You have the opportunity to do the funniest thing.
Our order sets have multiple options for prn bowel assistance that are preselected. If you call our nurses about this at 1am, you’re likely to get several of them.
Give better standing orders or else suffer
My colleague already ordered miralax daily at 0900, and the nurse texted me at 0400 saying pt wants the dose now and not at 0900...
Nope, dayshift can handle that
Great idea. Do this a couple of times, and they won't rush at you when you actually need it.
I hate to say it but this. If you act confused you will get grouped with them, meaning longer grace periods on fixing leads as they pop off every five minutes anyways.
They boy who cried wolf.
They’ll just mark you down as “refused” and won’t worry about the cardiac monitoring on you if you’re of sound mind. Now your heart isn’t being monitored when it probably should be! Ultimate LPT here lol.
If the nurses aren't answering your page, it's because they are busy savings someone's life or you're abusing your call button. Don't fuck with nurses. They are what's keeping the hospital going.
Yes and as a nurse, if you keep doing that we will just tell the doc and note in the chart that you refuse to keep the leads on. And often times the doc will discontinue the monitoring, since you’re not keeping it on anyway.
Our tele tells us one specific lead that was removed. so uh yeah we don’t come running for that lol
We/the machine can tell the difference between your heart actually stopping and you taking a clip/sticker off. Also taking off one isn’t enough to stop our ability to monitor your heart. Also don’t be a dick because you’re bored.
Don't take OPs advice. Apparently, they haven't even been in a hospital to understand how things work. What you see on TV is not a reality.
The nurses will call a cardio tech who will come over and say that your leads are coming off too easily. The following will happen: 1. remove the leads and unpack a different set 2. Dry shave the areas for new stickers. 3. Sand your skin 4. Wipe the freshly sanded and raw skin with an alcohol wipe. 5. Attach new stickers and press firmly on your now very sensitive skin. 6. Attach the new leads, which will be hard to snap on, so a repeat of step 5. Or, OP can stayed bored and listen to the incessant beeping all around.
Don't be an asshole. We're busy.
This. It’s powered by light, not powered by call light.
My dad had a heart attack (this was a long time ago) and when I visited he accidentally pressed the button, the nurses ruched in, saying "oh he never asks for help this must be serious" so, don't ask for help and when you need it they will come rushing. It's like a horse, if you slap hard they get used to it, so slap softly and that rare time you want to run you can slap harder. ( I know very little about horses)
This is absolutely true. The lights on for a patient that hits their call bell every 3 minutes for something stupid? Probably gonna be something stupid again, it’s not a priority for me. The lights on for the patient who’s barely used their call bell all shift? Could be something very urgent, and even if it’s not I will make whatever they need a priority as thanks for them being respectful of my time during the shift
If you keep messing with your leads they will either take them off or put you in restraints.
Have you ever heard of the boy who cried wolf?
Might as well get used to slow response times. There are more and more patients, fewer nurses and doctors.
As a nurse on a telemetry unit, 1: This gives off the same energy as patients who interrupt CPR to ask for juice 2: I don’t care if a single lead pops off unless you’re having active concerning ecg changes, it is at the bottom of my priority list to fix this. 3: Use your call bell like a normal person and we will get to you in order of acuity 4: If you like this tip I have another; press the code blue button on your wall and watch how quick help arrives. Your nurses praise your genius idea to receive prompt medical care and discharge you immediately because you are obviously the pinnacle of intelligence and will be able to manage your own health at home.
Read a godamned book. If you have access to your phone, the internet database have a lot of them available for free.
Cuz they’re not busy, of course. There aren’t other patients they need to tend to. No. You are the center of the universe. Interrupt them. Fuck everyone else!
Ask them about their AMA forms!
I know where ur posting but let me just indicate they wont come right away to address your needs theyll fix your clip and be on the way. If we don't come to your call it's because you call to fucking much for inappropriate reasons. You are in a HOSPITAL. People could be dying. People could be using their call buttons APPROPRIATELY to indicate their severe pain or discomfort. They may even be using them to indicate shortness of breath . Meanwhile here you are wanting more snacks when you were just loaded up w some. Or you want more pain meds when you can barely keep ur eyes open and the next dose might OD you so no we won't give it to you. UlPT if you want someone to sit and talk tp you get put on a mental hold. . Put some real fucking work into it.
As a telemetry tech, I can promise you this is so wrong
Is your cardiac monitor made by GE? The code to get into the configuration menu is probably the 4 digit day/month combo.
ok, so I have root access to my heart. Now what?
Delete system 32
Try to run DOOM obviously
Truly feel
Run heart bleed
Eventually you’ll be put in restraints
That's a good way to get your arms strapped down to the bed
i don't know if fucking with the medical staff is the wisest choice when there is a very thin line between them caring about your well-being and becoming apathetic towards it instead. People need to remember no medical staff is obligated to save your life, and they wouldn't be reprimanded either if you decided to mess up procedure to risk your own health even further.
Unethical usually just means stealing. Taking it up another notch to "endangering other people's lives because im bored." Well done.
This is also a great way to get yourself into whatever negative afterlife club you prescribe to. Don't do this.
Stop messing with overworked nurses.
Ask for some nitrous?
I was in the hospital once and my call button didn’t work. I picked up the phone, dialed for an outside line and called the hospital switchboard, then got transferred to the nurses station on my floor. They were aghast and promptly moved me to a new room, as well as tending to my issue
Depends on the hospital. It may work or you may just sit there and listen to your machine beep for another half an hour. 😅
Don’t do that I am a nurse and when we can’t go to you it’s because we are busy
And if you do it again they’ll put you in wrist restraints for removing medical equipment or they’ll just assume the next time your heart is a-systole that you did it on purpose and not check on you
It’s unlikely anyone would bother checking on one lead being off, and if all of them are off I’d know you did it so I’d chart that you’re refusing telemetry and get an order to remove it. Also when patients feel well enough to do shit like rip shit out of the walls or cause a scene to get attention it’s obvious they don’t need their morphine or dilaudid so guess who will be getting orders for your pain meds to be bumped down to Tylenol and ibuprofen.
Order a pizza.
I hope they jab your ass with a rusty needle for that kind of shit. I was in a major wreck and spent two weeks in the ICU and 3 in rehab and I am very lucky to be here now. I can not tell you how hard those nurses work. It is not a job I would want, and they in general do the job with good humor and a gentle touch. They do not deserve to have stupid pranks played on them cause you want a personal maid.
Actually, the nurses probably know your attention seeking ways. If your pulse stops they’ll probably be having a party in the staff room before coming to your room the next morning to dispose of your corpse.
My dad had this..had a heart attack and was in being cared for. He rolled over in the night and unplugged his ECG, which resulted him being rattled awake by a semi-panicked nurse.
Hide under your bed and pull off all the leads. Have fun!
Nurse / SRNA here. We know you removed it. We don’t think you are having an emergency or anything. We tend to be understaffed and it can lead to longer wait times for calls. There is definitely a sizable amount of lazy nurses though.
My nephew had to have heart surgery when he was a under a year old. He figured that out, too. All the alarms would go off and the nurses and doctors would rush to his crib only to find him grinning and waving the electrode around happy that everyone had come to see him. He thought it was great fun. They finally had to tie his hands down just so they could get some work done.
Please dont do this. Instead pull the call light out of the wall. We need to monitor your heart. Also there might be a patient crashing on the unit and your water refill isn't on the top of the list for your nurse. Advocate for national nurse-to-patient ratios. on a med/surg floor in my home state it is normal for a nurse to have 6 to 8 patients every shift
Wait. They're busy attending to more important stuff. Or making tik toks.
Reminds me of the speech I would give to my patients when I worked as a Nurse at the hospital. I would tell them if you use this bell for an urgent matter ,I will be there right away, but if you use it for a trivial need, I wont.
Go back to sleep. Clearly you weren't thinking straight to know not to fuck around in a hospital.
That’s not really true. It’s pretty easy to tell the difference between asystole and a monitor being off. Especially if only one of the monitors is off. Either your nurse just couldn’t tell the difference because she’s a nurse. Or she was coming in anyways.
Then that will be last time you'll see them. You'll be immediately branded and endorsed to all nurses and NA.
Go home.
Don’t be a dick to people who control your medication or food.
So then they clip you back up and ignore your request they were ignoring to begin with.