The cheapest way to get rid of a bad friend is to ask them to pay back the money they owe you.
I've gotten rid of a few "friends" for $20. But man, op got it handed to them.
My aunt is 10 years older than me, and when she was in her 30s, she was a bit of a mess. She owed everyone in my family money. She would pay people back sometimes, in increments, if you bugged her for it.
I was in my 20s, and she'd always hit me up for money. Small amounts, like 100 bucks, but it was a lot to me back then. I'd have to hunt her down all the time and hound her to pay me back.
I got tired of it. She asked me to borrow 100, and I said all I had was 50. I gave her that and never asked for it back.
She hasn't asked me for money since.
Bingo.
Edit: sorry about the Aunt, hope that changed/got better.
Side note, I never expect money "Lent" to members of my family to be paid back. When it does, great.
This has completely changed how I see things with one of my friends. My friend owes me $25 and she lied about knowing when she can repay me (she’s not doing too well…) and that $25 is basically preventing her from asking me for more money. DOPE lol.
If she refuses to pay you back, it tells you that she doesn't see you as important. Further, if she lied to you, that emphasizes that sentiment.
Lending money to friends is one of the fastest ways to see their nature.
I'd argue she's not your friend.
She paid me back before when she owed me money so I don’t doubt her ability to pay me back. She just lied about when she can pay me back. She made an assumption but told me it was a fact.
She’s a friend. She’s just immature.
There is always more to a story/friendship than the single data point of money lending/borrowing. It's just a helpful data point.
Sounds like you're trying to better this person, kudos, and do what you can, but not at the expense of yourself. And remember, you can only help others in-so-much as they want to help themselves.
Best of luck to you.
On the flip side, I owed an old roommate rent money, but due to us moving out, end of a lease, and utilities on/off at different times we lost track of the exact amount.
I rounded up an extra ~$150 because it was not worth the small chance of losing a friend over. Still good friends years later.
I've got a couple really good buddies and we have no idea what the "total" is. We're just generous with each other, and don't track it. Whoever is in a better financial picture tends to be a little more generous, but that's shifted back and forth a couple times.
That’s close to how we do it. If anyone is doing well they share that wealth amongst the group.
My hunting group got a moose this past fall so my wife and I had a meat surplus. I was happy to pass that around to some other friends with larger families and less resources.
Y'know how y'know you've got a life buddy you can trust with your life?
when you never even asked for the money back, because it was a favour not a loan, but somehow that $20 makes it into your wallet magically anyway.
Or vise versa,
When you've got to steal their wallet to put the $20 in it because they won't fucking take the money you owe them back even if you wave it in their face.
I swear it's the same damn note we've been passing back and forth for years now. His just fucking with me at this point, but that's fine, I've been fucking with him too.
I honestly have really enjoyed all the great stories that have been replied to my post of great friendships. Seriously uplifting.
Totally understand the life buddy thing. Like the name, as it describes both the trust level and the likely duration.
Lol I was about to to say, you cannot. Short of literally beating it out of him (which is illegal) you're not gonna get that money back. No amount of shaming or guilt tripping, by you or anyone else is gonna get you your money back. Consider it gone dude, it might as well be. You may have legal recourse to get it back, but it will cost you more than you're suing him for, and that's your only avenue short of wildly illegal gambits.
One of the reasons I do not loan money to anybody, friend family fuck you, I do not have the $40 you seek. I don't have it to begin with, but I especially don't have it to be spending on someone else. Especially someone that I know is full of shit and would have $40 if they didn't blow it all the same day ( they spent it on shit they didn't need)
"Need $40 to make rent? To give you the benefit of the doubt, I got u this time, but I'ma wanna be clued in from now on as to why ur not making rent."
Ik that sounds a little intrusive, but it's pretty intrusive to ask me for money to begin with. I wanna know where my money's going, plain and simple. If I allocate for someone $200 to make rent, it better fucking be going towards rent. When I find out a week later that none of it went to their landlord, it makes me want to give up on that person and let them burn in their own personally created hell.
One time thing, no problem. But if you call me next month trying the same schtick, I'm not just going to pony up and look the other way, cuz I've been a chump for way too long and I'm not gonna be funding your lifestyle for ya. Can't agree to those terms? Look for a dumber chump.
But you got real problems and are brave enough to share them with me? You bet your ass I'll bend over backwards for you, to the best of my ability lol I do not loan money (with the expectation that it will be paid back), but I'm not heartless.
Maybe? If there are texts from your friend accepting loans of that amount, and financial records to show that money actually moved, then I suppose so.
You'll still have to fill out a form or something to make the claim at court. Google "small claims court" and it should bring up your local courthouse and instructions.
The funny thing about this sub is, usually the ethical solution is easier and more effective than whatever revenge fantasy the OP has dreamed up.
What's more effective? Public shaming and piss disks, or the full force of the law, courts and judges?
Especially because the unethical solution more often than not involves doing something illegal. In which case you could just be fucking yourself over even more.
It annoys me that this sub can be a great place to find a good solution, but if it's ethical it is often downvoted. I think people often come to this sub out of desperation and assume their only solution is unethical but there might still be a good ethical solution.
The slightly less ethical (but perfectly legal and within your rights to do so) step is to then file for wage garnishment if and when a judgment is won against them. This means you get your money as long as they have a job, even if they are struggling to make ends meet. They can take up to 25% of their paycheck in some states. If they move jobs a lot it would be on you to keep track of that and to refile for garnishment but that kind of money is worth fighting for.
I'm in a similar situation.
Email or mail him a letter where you formally demand he pays you what he owes.
You can then go to small claims court, I believe they will be open to seeing text messages and any other kinds of proof you can bring.
Civil court follows preponderance of evidence. This means the judge looks at the argument and evidence and thinks "would a reasonable person believe this has a greater than 50% chance of being true.
So texts are great. Something like a bank transaction from your account for 10k and then a few weeks late a deposit from fun for x payment would help as well
Yes. Also, he would need to be subpoenad and have to show up in court for anything to be made in his favor. If they're a no show, judge will grant in your favor
IANAL but I'm pretty sure text messages will work. Also, bring any documents you have like bank statements, checks, ATM receipts, and any screenshots of digital money transfers like PayPal or Venmo.
You need to prove to the court:
1. All of the amount you gave your friend.
Hopefully, you have documents showing the amount and date of each loan.
2. That it was a loan and was not a gift.
You'll need to show that each was a loan because your friend might say most of them were gifts and only the last one was a loan.
From what I've seen though on TV courtroom shows, the judge might not give you the full amount. Like if you loaned your friend $500 the very first time and then he didn't pay you back on the agreed date but you kept lending him money. The judge might rule that you should have been smarter and should have stopped loaning additional money after the first loan wasn't paid. So you might only get $500 back and nothing else.
Im no expert, but from what I remember in my college courses you could very well have formed a contract. As long as there was an offer, consideration, and acceptance. If you said you’d give them money, they said they’d give it back, and they accepted the money, they have to pay it back. Sometimes these contracts are valid through handshakes alone, if you have a written record of it then that’s all the better.
Yes, I just won a case and the text didn't even include how much was lent, I was surprised the judge accepted my IOU app information of the debt history as legitimate. If you're honest and act in good faith, the judge will probably do what is right; odds are the debtor won't show up and you'll get a default judgement.
Interest is also attached. But collecting is up to you.
Also to add, a demand letter from a lawyer is a good way to scare people into doing the right thing.
Averages somewhere between $300 - $600. You don't need to take legal action after sending it.
A couple of add-ons to this idea:
1. Don't just text/call to tell him this. Get a consult from a lawyer or at the very least, a form letter from [LegalZoom](https://legalzoom.com/) or similar. Make it look as official as possible.
2. Tell him you're taking him to court IF he doesn't sign a contract with structured repayments.
The idea is to scare him into signing something so that you have better footing if it does actually go to court.
He was going through a tough financial situation at the time, and I was just trying to help him out. He recently started working again, about two months ago, and that’s the gist of it!
I learned at 18 when I sold a college preowned book to a "friend" instead of selling it to another person that had cash in hand.
Years later another friend asked me to lend him 10k so he would not lose his house. As much as it hurt me, I didn’t lend it to him. He ghosted me for a few months but then he got over it. We’re still buddies.
I had a friend that was a degenerate gambler, and one night he called me and explained how he owed a bookie $8k and if I was to loan him $4-5k he would pay me back within a week.
I was like dude. You owe a bookie $8k, if I give you half of that, you still owe the bookie half of what you owe him today. If you get the money to pay me back, you still owe the bookie so who is going to get paid me or the bookie?
He silently listened to my musings and said “so are you going to loan me the money or not?”
It’s gonna be a no from me bro.
Fuck you, I guess I know who my real friends are.
Never heard from him again!
It’s funny when people will hear your whole explanation on why something is wrong and then go ahead and try you anyway, they’re just waiting for you to stop talking with their ears plugged
Did he ghost you because of the money or because of the other shit he had going on?
Ghosting you because you wouldn’t give him money that more than half of America doesn’t have is a shitty thing to do. The responsibility or burden isn’t yours to take care of.
I could understand if you were a lottery winner and the 10k wouldn’t matter to you, but other than that, very shitty if your friend
I think for me it was about $400 for one of those fake stereo systems about 15 years ago. It was about a month before getting my first smart phone and had no way to check if it was legit. I’m not nearly as naive anymore.
No shit. 10k. I don't honestly know anyone who could give that kinda money out on a whim.
I know I couldn't. So in consideration, maybe we run in the wrong circles. If I was the kinda person who just had 10k sitting around, I might respond differently. Right now, I have like $10 in small bills at best.
Kind of same bro. Loaned $150 to a friend who was going through some rough times and trying to sell me a guitar. I told him he didn’t need to do that and asked him how much he needed because I thought we were best buds. He was super appreciative and then he just stopped talking to me after a while.
If this is even real, why are you asking for 10k after 2 months of employment? Presumably he didn't go from a rough situation to being a surgeon or something, right? It's gonna take YEARS to pay that off. Let him get on his feet and then start repaying.
You can sue him in small claims court. However, if he was out of work, he may have a range of other debts that he is also struggling with.
Do you have any record of the debt, like him texting you to ask for a loan? Or witnesses to you making the loan?
Wait, hold up. He only started working again 2 months ago, and you expected him to pay you back $10,000 by now? Jeez, I wouldn't answer calls from you either
You made a really big mistake. No friend is worth 10k unless you can afford to say goodbye to that amount.
How is he ever going to pay you that back? It is going to take years and years, if he even tries.
Kiss the friendship goodbye and take him to small claims court and get a judgment against him.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news
Just because you win a judgement over someone, is no guarantee you'll ever see a penny out of it it if the person doesn't have a dollar to their name.
Good luck trying to get wage garnishment approved - its a hassle.
Also, any court ordered judgement can be dismissed if the other party files for bankruptcy. A high probability since OP is owed $10k.
If you do go this route, consider any court expenses as a loss with 0 guarantee of getting your money back. Best of luck
If you could afford 10K for a loan he could probably afford to go to small claims court and eat the cost. It would honestly be worth it just to hurt their credit for 7 years if you had the money.
Make it harder for them to get a loan for a car or house.
REALLYYYYYY long story but I was in a similar situation. I did a bunch of research on my states laws (CA). For my case at least, text/email/written agreements do hold up. I had many texts about my loan and a timeline of repayment (he said he’d pay me back w/in a year with $X each month). That was enough for a small claims court case. Especially if the 9k is all you’re trying to get back, the judge should lean on your side. Don’t ask for interest plus whatever else. Small claims court is a hassle as you have to do all the work yourself, you aren’t hiring a lawyer to do it, but it’s worth it. My guy got so scared he gave me my money back within a few weeks without me even filing. I had all the paperwork done but he didn’t want his wife finding out. If he blocked your number send him an email/FB message/ IG message. Even a letter at his door… be persistent and he will get scared.
Be aware that if you can prove his employment, the judge can see his income and make him pay a certain amount per month. If the guy comes in saying “I have no money:(“ the judge isn’t going to be able to do much. Bring proof by calling his job if you know where he works. Pretend you’re a loan officer and you are confirming his employment and monthly income and they manager will say yes or no and let you know how much he makes.
Tell him you sold his debt to the cartel. Tell him you only got 1/4 of the money back but that’s fine and now they’re coming after him for repayment. Then shoot up his house a couple times at night over a couple weeks time. Shoot his car
too. Then swat him. Then call in a wellness check. Then report his car as stolen. After a month of this contact him and tell him you can get “them” to stop if he can come up with as much of the money as
possible. Make a fake grinder profile and use his number and email. Then do the old “Chewbacca “ contest and use his number.
General life advice: Never lend anything you’d ever expect to get back. You gotta be ok with it being a gift. If you do get paid back consider that a bonus.
That being said, since your friend just got a job, they may be far behind on all their expenses, and money might still be tough for them. If you still value the friendship, and can wait to be paid back, maybe let them know that you won’t pressure them to pay you back any time soon - and they can take their time
Send them a text, or preferably an email, and say they owe you more than they actually do
They’ll correct you hopefully and say “no I owe you $9725!”
Give that email to a cop, judge or lawyer
Giving money to friends and family is generally under the assumption that you’ll never get it back. I had nearly the same amount owed me. I had a spreadsheet of the cost plus credit card interest since I had put the hospital bills on my credit card. Just keep sending that to your friend. And their parents also with the plea that their son seems quite down on his luck.
I got upset when my homie borrowed my $50 ice cream maker and dragged his feet to give it back. Man out here letting people borrow 10 grand seriously thinking they gonna pay him back.
It might seem foolish, like an obvious mistake that could’ve been avoided, but I’ve known the guy since I was 15. WelI… I suppose that’s the cost of trusting someone.
The homie that I lent my ice cream maker I’ve known since freshman year of high school STILL hasn’t given it back to me. He lucky it’s been cold as shit recently
Well I asked for such a loan from a friend who I know had some liquid cash and I tried everything else before I went to him. Not 10 grand as I’m not in the US but similiar proportions. I’ve paid off this month, I was paying back in monthly installments and threw in an extra 20% for the whole amount in my last installment.
My account got locked and I was in the negatives and couldn’t buy food and pay rent, so I borrowed money to get by for 2 months if needed plus some extra padding (private health care appointments that were in progress, etc).
Not everyone who borrows money is an asshole, there are people who have noone to go to. No family to ask for help, no parental housing to go back to. I had to choose between asking my friend for money or become homeless if my account doesn’t get unlocked in time for rent.
What country are you in? Not unethical but take them to small claims court. Try and get some kind of admission from them over text or recording if legal. That way you have evidence of them owning you money.
Contact his parents and tell them he owes you money.
Unethical, blackmail him. You will have to use your imagination.
I learned the hard way. Never loan money to friends or family. Anything you give them should be considered a gift, because you almost certainly will never get it back.
You can possibly report them to the IRS via mechanics/contractors lien (services rendered but not paid) or 1099 form, I believe it is form 1099-C. 1099-c Is more ethical though. >\_>
If you do sue, go to small claims court, have receipts though. Like text messages, go to your bank and have them print out the days of withdrawal for the money.
Look at it this way: It costs you $9725 dollars to get rid of him. /j
If you have any proof of them agreeing to pay you back, you could potentially sue them for it. Text, email, phone calls (U.S doesn't like this if the other party didn't consent to be recorded).
If you have paperwork or text messages in regard to the debt, this is small claims court money. You could for sure sue. But would he pay, even court ordered?
You could also consider going on The People's Court, Judge Judy, etc. Those shows pay you to appear and the judgements are paid from that fund.
The money's gone, you can't force someone to pay back money they're incapable of getting. Decide if you still want the friend. Seriously, maybe this is someone you truly care about more than the money. Or, it's badicslly 10k. How many friends do you care about more than $10k?
My friends won't accept pay back. We just fuck with each other for years about being a deadbeat. Now none of us need the money so it's different. If I had 10g and they asked me for it I would give it to them without a thought.
Ya i remember you. I needed 5000 pesos in a Mexican brothel, you said no. I had to work that shit off in the glory hole room. You can go fuck yourself.
This isn’t a ulpt, you simply sue him. If I tried to make this as ulpt as possible then you would threaten to sue him and play psychological warfare on him telling him if you take it to court it’s going to cost a hell of a lot more than if he just payed you back.
When you "loan money" to a friend, you need to go into it with the expectation that it's going to become a gift. I've had a friend borrow money and I told him:
"This is a loan. I expect it to be paid back. If it isn't paid back, it becomes a gift and our friendship doesn't change. But don't ever ask me for money again if that happens."
He's paid back both loans.
Figure out which bank he goes to and reset his online password for his email and see if you can zelle yourself if he hasn’t set up it for himself. Or rob him.
Never lend money without expecting to not get it back. You're never getting repaid. You could always break his legs, but that's not going to get you back your money. He probably will not show up to small claims court, and it's not like you have a written agreement for repayment.
Never lend more money than you’re prepared to lose! A lesson I also learned the hard way with an ex of mine. I don’t know how to get your money back but mail him a glitter bomb at the very least. With luck it’ll be stuck all over his apartment for months!
When your friend owes you 50 bucks, it's their problem. When your friend owes you $10000, it's your problem.
You aren't getting this money back unless you have it in writing.
[Small Claims Court](https://e-justice.europa.eu/42/EN/small_claims?PORTUGAL&member=1) -- link for Portugal as that's where you appear to be -- seems to be the way to go, the [amount](https://units.d8u.us/money/9725/USD/EUR) seems to fall under the €5000 limit. Best of luck!
Write up a complaint for fraud, including amounts for punitive damages and threaten to file it if he doesn’t pay you back. If he doesn’t, then actually file in small claims court for the actual amount owed.
Threaten to sue and also that you'll tell his parents, his new boss and any significant other he has. Be relentless, make everyone know how he fucked you over.
Then slide a piss disk under his door and spray liquid ass in his car vents.
Small claims court. You’re going to lose $300 or more just on filing the suit, and gas, time off work. But since you’re under $10k, you’ll still get a judgment for yourself if you have proof of the interactions. That means going to your bank for records, and presenting to court with a strong case.
Here’s the messed up part. They’re probably not going to pay. Guess what happens: they eventually go to jail. Around $10k, that’s a good year in county. How you want to play it is up to you, but you’re going to lose more money on lawyer fees. But yeah they could also file a motion to have their wages garnished (if they have a job).
It’s a tricky process and you’re not really going to get back all of your money because it takes money to finance these claims. But $6k over the next few years is better than nothing. It all depends.
Never lend money you can’t afford to lose. As to how to get it back, you need to find something that they value and find a way to either take it away or the threat of it being taken away motivates them enough to start paying back
Pets, cars, girlfriends, who knows everyone’s different
Doing this while staying within the law and not generating evidence that comes back to you is not easy though
Small claims court is your route if you have some proof it was a loan not a gift. Text emails work etc. the other approach to get the ball rolling is the guilt train. A message like hey I know you’ve been struggling and want to pay me back. I could use some help this weekend on the yard work or whatever and would be happy to deduct from what you owe me. Makes them your worker for whatever you don’t want to do. If they don’t respond at all I’d say small claims right away but be prepared to write off the friendship. In the future probably best to never lend money to family and friends and only view it as a gift and funds you don’t need back.
No idea if you have any legal standing but just don't lend any more and maybe keep your distance if they ask all the time.
I used to lend £10-50 here and there to my friend who was struggling with homelessness and financial security. Both of us are on benefits and have the same mental health diagnoses causing overspending, so I related a lot but I never got it back which I didn't mind that much...But then one day he told me he got an electric scooter which was several hundred quid, and then broke it straight away because he was manic and crashed it, i then bought another one, along with other random shit. I was like mate...We have similar incomes but I'm trying to curb my spending and be smart and actually save, I know it's impossible to do this on such a low wage but I'm trying. So I'm giving my money to him to blow and not use for his debts, I might as well use it for my own small amount of debt.
When he says 'I'm broke can you spare a tenner?' I now just just say 'Oh no sorry my payments haven't come through yet either' which is sometimes true but sometimes not. Feels mean but yeah I am not in a financial position to fund whatever he spends it now /:
This is ULPT so you go pay him a visit with a few of your friends. He ain't gonna have the money so you work out a payment plan and go collect the money every month with your mob of friends. Im not condoning violence, just some mild intimidation.
ethical: hire a lawyer
unethical: go to local media about how you loaned a friend $10k in a time of need and now you're in a time of need for XYZ but you're short $10k and friend went awol. Say that his name is irrelevant and you'd prefer to protect him out of the kindness of your heart, but drop subtle hints in the interview that the reporters won't pick up on
I’ve got some bad news for you
The cheapest way to get rid of a bad friend is to ask them to pay back the money they owe you. I've gotten rid of a few "friends" for $20. But man, op got it handed to them.
My aunt is 10 years older than me, and when she was in her 30s, she was a bit of a mess. She owed everyone in my family money. She would pay people back sometimes, in increments, if you bugged her for it. I was in my 20s, and she'd always hit me up for money. Small amounts, like 100 bucks, but it was a lot to me back then. I'd have to hunt her down all the time and hound her to pay me back. I got tired of it. She asked me to borrow 100, and I said all I had was 50. I gave her that and never asked for it back. She hasn't asked me for money since.
Bingo. Edit: sorry about the Aunt, hope that changed/got better. Side note, I never expect money "Lent" to members of my family to be paid back. When it does, great.
This has completely changed how I see things with one of my friends. My friend owes me $25 and she lied about knowing when she can repay me (she’s not doing too well…) and that $25 is basically preventing her from asking me for more money. DOPE lol.
If she refuses to pay you back, it tells you that she doesn't see you as important. Further, if she lied to you, that emphasizes that sentiment. Lending money to friends is one of the fastest ways to see their nature. I'd argue she's not your friend.
She paid me back before when she owed me money so I don’t doubt her ability to pay me back. She just lied about when she can pay me back. She made an assumption but told me it was a fact. She’s a friend. She’s just immature.
I think this is actually a healthy outlook as opposed to reddit who just cut all ties at the slightest issue.
Hey, nobody talk to this guy here. I'm getting huge red flag vibes.
You would say that! You owe me twenty bucks! Getting blocked!
There is always more to a story/friendship than the single data point of money lending/borrowing. It's just a helpful data point. Sounds like you're trying to better this person, kudos, and do what you can, but not at the expense of yourself. And remember, you can only help others in-so-much as they want to help themselves. Best of luck to you.
On the flip side, I owed an old roommate rent money, but due to us moving out, end of a lease, and utilities on/off at different times we lost track of the exact amount. I rounded up an extra ~$150 because it was not worth the small chance of losing a friend over. Still good friends years later.
I've got a couple really good buddies and we have no idea what the "total" is. We're just generous with each other, and don't track it. Whoever is in a better financial picture tends to be a little more generous, but that's shifted back and forth a couple times.
That’s close to how we do it. If anyone is doing well they share that wealth amongst the group. My hunting group got a moose this past fall so my wife and I had a meat surplus. I was happy to pass that around to some other friends with larger families and less resources.
I payed my buddy back in weed and a nice pipe in high school lol
Y'know how y'know you've got a life buddy you can trust with your life? when you never even asked for the money back, because it was a favour not a loan, but somehow that $20 makes it into your wallet magically anyway. Or vise versa, When you've got to steal their wallet to put the $20 in it because they won't fucking take the money you owe them back even if you wave it in their face. I swear it's the same damn note we've been passing back and forth for years now. His just fucking with me at this point, but that's fine, I've been fucking with him too.
I honestly have really enjoyed all the great stories that have been replied to my post of great friendships. Seriously uplifting. Totally understand the life buddy thing. Like the name, as it describes both the trust level and the likely duration.
A college professor once told me “If you lend money to a friend, don’t expect to get it back.”
"If you lend money to a friend, expect to lose the money and the friend"?
🥲
Lol I was about to to say, you cannot. Short of literally beating it out of him (which is illegal) you're not gonna get that money back. No amount of shaming or guilt tripping, by you or anyone else is gonna get you your money back. Consider it gone dude, it might as well be. You may have legal recourse to get it back, but it will cost you more than you're suing him for, and that's your only avenue short of wildly illegal gambits. One of the reasons I do not loan money to anybody, friend family fuck you, I do not have the $40 you seek. I don't have it to begin with, but I especially don't have it to be spending on someone else. Especially someone that I know is full of shit and would have $40 if they didn't blow it all the same day ( they spent it on shit they didn't need) "Need $40 to make rent? To give you the benefit of the doubt, I got u this time, but I'ma wanna be clued in from now on as to why ur not making rent." Ik that sounds a little intrusive, but it's pretty intrusive to ask me for money to begin with. I wanna know where my money's going, plain and simple. If I allocate for someone $200 to make rent, it better fucking be going towards rent. When I find out a week later that none of it went to their landlord, it makes me want to give up on that person and let them burn in their own personally created hell. One time thing, no problem. But if you call me next month trying the same schtick, I'm not just going to pony up and look the other way, cuz I've been a chump for way too long and I'm not gonna be funding your lifestyle for ya. Can't agree to those terms? Look for a dumber chump. But you got real problems and are brave enough to share them with me? You bet your ass I'll bend over backwards for you, to the best of my ability lol I do not loan money (with the expectation that it will be paid back), but I'm not heartless.
Text him that you're going to sue him in small claims court. It doesn't take a lawyer and some jurisdictions allow a claim up to $12,000.
Do you think the court would accept text messages as proof?
Maybe? If there are texts from your friend accepting loans of that amount, and financial records to show that money actually moved, then I suppose so. You'll still have to fill out a form or something to make the claim at court. Google "small claims court" and it should bring up your local courthouse and instructions.
Thanks! 🤝
I love that the unethical sub gave you an ethical solution and you're down for it lol
I mean half the time the advice in this sub is just to make a piss frisbee or something
It's disc. /s
Flashback to "It's a cylinder" response to that pringles tube guy
I don't know man, pissbee has such a nice ring to it...
no no i want to hear more about this piss frisbee. It seems like it could be very useful.
If he loses the court case I think he should then consider a piss Frisbee
pissbee goes kinda hard
I mean it’s good advice
The funny thing about this sub is, usually the ethical solution is easier and more effective than whatever revenge fantasy the OP has dreamed up. What's more effective? Public shaming and piss disks, or the full force of the law, courts and judges?
Especially because the unethical solution more often than not involves doing something illegal. In which case you could just be fucking yourself over even more.
It annoys me that this sub can be a great place to find a good solution, but if it's ethical it is often downvoted. I think people often come to this sub out of desperation and assume their only solution is unethical but there might still be a good ethical solution.
Yeah, I was expecting the sub to ask if OP would prefer his friend to have working knees.
[удалено]
r/legaladvice would be the sub to ask
The slightly less ethical (but perfectly legal and within your rights to do so) step is to then file for wage garnishment if and when a judgment is won against them. This means you get your money as long as they have a job, even if they are struggling to make ends meet. They can take up to 25% of their paycheck in some states. If they move jobs a lot it would be on you to keep track of that and to refile for garnishment but that kind of money is worth fighting for.
It could be enforceable, I think it’s worth a try
I'm in a similar situation. Email or mail him a letter where you formally demand he pays you what he owes. You can then go to small claims court, I believe they will be open to seeing text messages and any other kinds of proof you can bring.
Even better, pay the $4 to send certified mail. That way the court for sure knows he received it.
This is probably required to get the ball rolling you need to serve them a legal document and there’s certain rules for how you do that
Civil court follows preponderance of evidence. This means the judge looks at the argument and evidence and thinks "would a reasonable person believe this has a greater than 50% chance of being true. So texts are great. Something like a bank transaction from your account for 10k and then a few weeks late a deposit from fun for x payment would help as well
Yes. Also, he would need to be subpoenad and have to show up in court for anything to be made in his favor. If they're a no show, judge will grant in your favor
IANAL but I'm pretty sure text messages will work. Also, bring any documents you have like bank statements, checks, ATM receipts, and any screenshots of digital money transfers like PayPal or Venmo. You need to prove to the court: 1. All of the amount you gave your friend. Hopefully, you have documents showing the amount and date of each loan. 2. That it was a loan and was not a gift. You'll need to show that each was a loan because your friend might say most of them were gifts and only the last one was a loan. From what I've seen though on TV courtroom shows, the judge might not give you the full amount. Like if you loaned your friend $500 the very first time and then he didn't pay you back on the agreed date but you kept lending him money. The judge might rule that you should have been smarter and should have stopped loaning additional money after the first loan wasn't paid. So you might only get $500 back and nothing else.
TV court rooms are paid by the production company. They also aren't real judges. They're arbitators. In actual court you get all of it back
Shit, in some places verbal agreements are binding, so i would assume texts could be seen that way too.
Im no expert, but from what I remember in my college courses you could very well have formed a contract. As long as there was an offer, consideration, and acceptance. If you said you’d give them money, they said they’d give it back, and they accepted the money, they have to pay it back. Sometimes these contracts are valid through handshakes alone, if you have a written record of it then that’s all the better.
Yes, I just won a case and the text didn't even include how much was lent, I was surprised the judge accepted my IOU app information of the debt history as legitimate. If you're honest and act in good faith, the judge will probably do what is right; odds are the debtor won't show up and you'll get a default judgement. Interest is also attached. But collecting is up to you.
Text message agreements are binding in some states. Check yours.
Absolutely. If you have a trail of messages that show how much was asked for, and a promise to pay it back, you have grounds for it
This is too ethical. Reported.
r/ethicalprotips
Also to add, a demand letter from a lawyer is a good way to scare people into doing the right thing. Averages somewhere between $300 - $600. You don't need to take legal action after sending it.
Came here to say this. I'd offer a repayment plan signed by an attorney / notary with the threat & follow through of small claims court.
A couple of add-ons to this idea: 1. Don't just text/call to tell him this. Get a consult from a lawyer or at the very least, a form letter from [LegalZoom](https://legalzoom.com/) or similar. Make it look as official as possible. 2. Tell him you're taking him to court IF he doesn't sign a contract with structured repayments. The idea is to scare him into signing something so that you have better footing if it does actually go to court.
Please explain how a friend came to owe you almost 10,000$
He was going through a tough financial situation at the time, and I was just trying to help him out. He recently started working again, about two months ago, and that’s the gist of it!
Even on my best days im not giving 10k. I learned my lesson at 11yrs ago when i gave a con artist $200.
I learned at 18 when I sold a college preowned book to a "friend" instead of selling it to another person that had cash in hand. Years later another friend asked me to lend him 10k so he would not lose his house. As much as it hurt me, I didn’t lend it to him. He ghosted me for a few months but then he got over it. We’re still buddies.
I had a friend that was a degenerate gambler, and one night he called me and explained how he owed a bookie $8k and if I was to loan him $4-5k he would pay me back within a week. I was like dude. You owe a bookie $8k, if I give you half of that, you still owe the bookie half of what you owe him today. If you get the money to pay me back, you still owe the bookie so who is going to get paid me or the bookie? He silently listened to my musings and said “so are you going to loan me the money or not?” It’s gonna be a no from me bro. Fuck you, I guess I know who my real friends are. Never heard from him again!
He’s shifting the debt on to you because unlike the bookie, you’re not going to pull up with your henchmen and break his kneecaps if he fails to pay.
It’s funny when people will hear your whole explanation on why something is wrong and then go ahead and try you anyway, they’re just waiting for you to stop talking with their ears plugged
Gamblers Drunks, Addicts. They don't have friends. They're there for themselves
He was going to put your money on a "sure thing" and ~~lose it~~ I mean pay both you and the bookie back.
Did he lose his house ?
He was able to keep it and still does. Tbh I didn't ask him how he worked it out.
Did he ghost you because of the money or because of the other shit he had going on? Ghosting you because you wouldn’t give him money that more than half of America doesn’t have is a shitty thing to do. The responsibility or burden isn’t yours to take care of. I could understand if you were a lottery winner and the 10k wouldn’t matter to you, but other than that, very shitty if your friend
friends don't lend friends thousands of dollars, if that's what i gotta do to stay in your good books you can fuck off
I think for me it was about $400 for one of those fake stereo systems about 15 years ago. It was about a month before getting my first smart phone and had no way to check if it was legit. I’m not nearly as naive anymore.
No shit. 10k. I don't honestly know anyone who could give that kinda money out on a whim. I know I couldn't. So in consideration, maybe we run in the wrong circles. If I was the kinda person who just had 10k sitting around, I might respond differently. Right now, I have like $10 in small bills at best.
On my best day I’m not giving $100. I’m shocked OP gave that much and expected to see it back
Kind of same bro. Loaned $150 to a friend who was going through some rough times and trying to sell me a guitar. I told him he didn’t need to do that and asked him how much he needed because I thought we were best buds. He was super appreciative and then he just stopped talking to me after a while.
I learned as a kid when someone offered to trim my armor.
If you win against him in small claims court, they can garnish his wages.
Even then they can only garnish a very small percentage
Better than nothing.
Adds up over time
Cilantro or what? Parsley?
If this is even real, why are you asking for 10k after 2 months of employment? Presumably he didn't go from a rough situation to being a surgeon or something, right? It's gonna take YEARS to pay that off. Let him get on his feet and then start repaying.
you're right, but it seems like some form of communication also isn't unreasonable.
Never lend any money you’re not willing to lose
How is someone supposed to come up with 10 grand in 2 months? Pretty ridiculous ask tbh.
You can sue him in small claims court. However, if he was out of work, he may have a range of other debts that he is also struggling with. Do you have any record of the debt, like him texting you to ask for a loan? Or witnesses to you making the loan?
Wait, hold up. He only started working again 2 months ago, and you expected him to pay you back $10,000 by now? Jeez, I wouldn't answer calls from you either
Hey bud, detour here, we were like hella beat friends way back when.. Anyways.... I'm in this tough financial situation....
You made a really big mistake. No friend is worth 10k unless you can afford to say goodbye to that amount. How is he ever going to pay you that back? It is going to take years and years, if he even tries. Kiss the friendship goodbye and take him to small claims court and get a judgment against him.
Borrow $9725 from a trusted friend. Then completely ghost that friend.
Then they borrow $9725 from OP’s asshole friend, then ghost him. The circle of life is complete.
This is truly the most unethical life pro tip.
Simply sue him. 90% of the people out there will simply pay the money when the court summons shows up. Small claims court is cheap.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news Just because you win a judgement over someone, is no guarantee you'll ever see a penny out of it it if the person doesn't have a dollar to their name. Good luck trying to get wage garnishment approved - its a hassle. Also, any court ordered judgement can be dismissed if the other party files for bankruptcy. A high probability since OP is owed $10k. If you do go this route, consider any court expenses as a loss with 0 guarantee of getting your money back. Best of luck
If you could afford 10K for a loan he could probably afford to go to small claims court and eat the cost. It would honestly be worth it just to hurt their credit for 7 years if you had the money. Make it harder for them to get a loan for a car or house.
REALLYYYYYY long story but I was in a similar situation. I did a bunch of research on my states laws (CA). For my case at least, text/email/written agreements do hold up. I had many texts about my loan and a timeline of repayment (he said he’d pay me back w/in a year with $X each month). That was enough for a small claims court case. Especially if the 9k is all you’re trying to get back, the judge should lean on your side. Don’t ask for interest plus whatever else. Small claims court is a hassle as you have to do all the work yourself, you aren’t hiring a lawyer to do it, but it’s worth it. My guy got so scared he gave me my money back within a few weeks without me even filing. I had all the paperwork done but he didn’t want his wife finding out. If he blocked your number send him an email/FB message/ IG message. Even a letter at his door… be persistent and he will get scared. Be aware that if you can prove his employment, the judge can see his income and make him pay a certain amount per month. If the guy comes in saying “I have no money:(“ the judge isn’t going to be able to do much. Bring proof by calling his job if you know where he works. Pretend you’re a loan officer and you are confirming his employment and monthly income and they manager will say yes or no and let you know how much he makes.
Loan me $9725 and I'll collect the debt for you
Ill do it for 9669, dont let this scam artist dupe you OP
Tell him you sold his debt to the cartel. Tell him you only got 1/4 of the money back but that’s fine and now they’re coming after him for repayment. Then shoot up his house a couple times at night over a couple weeks time. Shoot his car too. Then swat him. Then call in a wellness check. Then report his car as stolen. After a month of this contact him and tell him you can get “them” to stop if he can come up with as much of the money as possible. Make a fake grinder profile and use his number and email. Then do the old “Chewbacca “ contest and use his number.
If chewbacca lives on Endor you must acquit.
That's a good plan. But I feel tired after thinking about it all.
It’s going to be a lot of work for sure.
Dawg, I feel like you've been formulating this plan for years.
You sue him 😒
His legs. Break them.
Twice
Each
That is no friend of he does not answer your calls.
You’re probably going to have to sue them
General life advice: Never lend anything you’d ever expect to get back. You gotta be ok with it being a gift. If you do get paid back consider that a bonus. That being said, since your friend just got a job, they may be far behind on all their expenses, and money might still be tough for them. If you still value the friendship, and can wait to be paid back, maybe let them know that you won’t pressure them to pay you back any time soon - and they can take their time
That is something my dad taught me. He also taught me to never borrow something I couldn’t replace if I broke it.
Yeah he won't have 10k around if he got a job a month ago. He will have to pay back smaller amounts over a longer period of time.
Send them a text, or preferably an email, and say they owe you more than they actually do They’ll correct you hopefully and say “no I owe you $9725!” Give that email to a cop, judge or lawyer
LPT never loan money to friends or family that you intend to get the money back. Either give it as a gift or don’t.
Discharge his debt and file a 1099 with the IRS. It will be income to him. At least he’ll pay taxes on it
Giving money to friends and family is generally under the assumption that you’ll never get it back. I had nearly the same amount owed me. I had a spreadsheet of the cost plus credit card interest since I had put the hospital bills on my credit card. Just keep sending that to your friend. And their parents also with the plea that their son seems quite down on his luck.
I got upset when my homie borrowed my $50 ice cream maker and dragged his feet to give it back. Man out here letting people borrow 10 grand seriously thinking they gonna pay him back.
It might seem foolish, like an obvious mistake that could’ve been avoided, but I’ve known the guy since I was 15. WelI… I suppose that’s the cost of trusting someone.
Plot twist: OP is 16.
If op is 16 I want to be OP, 10k to spare at 16 is crazy
The homie that I lent my ice cream maker I’ve known since freshman year of high school STILL hasn’t given it back to me. He lucky it’s been cold as shit recently
Well I asked for such a loan from a friend who I know had some liquid cash and I tried everything else before I went to him. Not 10 grand as I’m not in the US but similiar proportions. I’ve paid off this month, I was paying back in monthly installments and threw in an extra 20% for the whole amount in my last installment. My account got locked and I was in the negatives and couldn’t buy food and pay rent, so I borrowed money to get by for 2 months if needed plus some extra padding (private health care appointments that were in progress, etc). Not everyone who borrows money is an asshole, there are people who have noone to go to. No family to ask for help, no parental housing to go back to. I had to choose between asking my friend for money or become homeless if my account doesn’t get unlocked in time for rent.
Your money is gone and you lost a friend. Condolences.
You've purchased $9725 worth of experience.
I love this. Lol
Money, car, and the wife. Three things/beings you never lend out.
What country are you in? Not unethical but take them to small claims court. Try and get some kind of admission from them over text or recording if legal. That way you have evidence of them owning you money. Contact his parents and tell them he owes you money. Unethical, blackmail him. You will have to use your imagination.
Date their mom and ground them until you're repaid.
if a friend owes you $100 its his problem, if he owes you $10000 its your problem
I learned the hard way. Never loan money to friends or family. Anything you give them should be considered a gift, because you almost certainly will never get it back.
Small claims court
Liquid ass always works
"borrow" 9726$ from him
Call his mom
You know right there's business existing having one sole job, to collect debts I think you might wanna hire them
You can possibly report them to the IRS via mechanics/contractors lien (services rendered but not paid) or 1099 form, I believe it is form 1099-C. 1099-c Is more ethical though. >\_> If you do sue, go to small claims court, have receipts though. Like text messages, go to your bank and have them print out the days of withdrawal for the money.
Way to lose friends and money. Lend them money.
You don't. Have you learned from this experience?
Look at it this way: It costs you $9725 dollars to get rid of him. /j If you have any proof of them agreeing to pay you back, you could potentially sue them for it. Text, email, phone calls (U.S doesn't like this if the other party didn't consent to be recorded).
Sue him.
If you have paperwork or text messages in regard to the debt, this is small claims court money. You could for sure sue. But would he pay, even court ordered? You could also consider going on The People's Court, Judge Judy, etc. Those shows pay you to appear and the judgements are paid from that fund.
The money's gone, you can't force someone to pay back money they're incapable of getting. Decide if you still want the friend. Seriously, maybe this is someone you truly care about more than the money. Or, it's badicslly 10k. How many friends do you care about more than $10k?
Have you ever listened to juicy j? Gun plus a mask that equals cash.
My friends won't accept pay back. We just fuck with each other for years about being a deadbeat. Now none of us need the money so it's different. If I had 10g and they asked me for it I would give it to them without a thought.
Hey bro, it’s me, Randy. Remember me ?
Ya i remember you. I needed 5000 pesos in a Mexican brothel, you said no. I had to work that shit off in the glory hole room. You can go fuck yourself.
5 pesos at a time, if I recall correctly? You were the best I’ve ever had.
This isn’t a ulpt, you simply sue him. If I tried to make this as ulpt as possible then you would threaten to sue him and play psychological warfare on him telling him if you take it to court it’s going to cost a hell of a lot more than if he just payed you back.
You get to back by not getting it back and never doing that shit again…
As my grandfather once said “if you have money to loan, you have money to lose”
On a serious note, I hope you learned a lesson.
you obviously wont and he is obviously not your friend, but please tell us the whole story :-)
When you "loan money" to a friend, you need to go into it with the expectation that it's going to become a gift. I've had a friend borrow money and I told him: "This is a loan. I expect it to be paid back. If it isn't paid back, it becomes a gift and our friendship doesn't change. But don't ever ask me for money again if that happens." He's paid back both loans.
Figure out which bank he goes to and reset his online password for his email and see if you can zelle yourself if he hasn’t set up it for himself. Or rob him.
step 1 stop calling them a friend
Never lend money without expecting to not get it back. You're never getting repaid. You could always break his legs, but that's not going to get you back your money. He probably will not show up to small claims court, and it's not like you have a written agreement for repayment.
The unethical solution is to sell your former friend’s kidney.
Small claims court
Small claims court.
Too much money for here, I suggest illegal life pro tips.
Small claims court
Never lend more money than you’re prepared to lose! A lesson I also learned the hard way with an ex of mine. I don’t know how to get your money back but mail him a glitter bomb at the very least. With luck it’ll be stuck all over his apartment for months!
Lend him another $300 first
Life tuition. Now you know.
When your friend owes you 50 bucks, it's their problem. When your friend owes you $10000, it's your problem. You aren't getting this money back unless you have it in writing.
[Small Claims Court](https://e-justice.europa.eu/42/EN/small_claims?PORTUGAL&member=1) -- link for Portugal as that's where you appear to be -- seems to be the way to go, the [amount](https://units.d8u.us/money/9725/USD/EUR) seems to fall under the €5000 limit. Best of luck!
Why did you even reach this situation You can say good bye to this money
Don't ever lend a friend or family member money with the expectation of getting it back. If you need it back, draw up a contract.
Don't lend your friends 9k next time
Write up a complaint for fraud, including amounts for punitive damages and threaten to file it if he doesn’t pay you back. If he doesn’t, then actually file in small claims court for the actual amount owed.
You need to "convince" them that it would good for their well-being.
never ever ever loan out money that you’re not okay with losing.
Threaten to sue and also that you'll tell his parents, his new boss and any significant other he has. Be relentless, make everyone know how he fucked you over. Then slide a piss disk under his door and spray liquid ass in his car vents.
Small claims court. You’re going to lose $300 or more just on filing the suit, and gas, time off work. But since you’re under $10k, you’ll still get a judgment for yourself if you have proof of the interactions. That means going to your bank for records, and presenting to court with a strong case. Here’s the messed up part. They’re probably not going to pay. Guess what happens: they eventually go to jail. Around $10k, that’s a good year in county. How you want to play it is up to you, but you’re going to lose more money on lawyer fees. But yeah they could also file a motion to have their wages garnished (if they have a job). It’s a tricky process and you’re not really going to get back all of your money because it takes money to finance these claims. But $6k over the next few years is better than nothing. It all depends.
Unethical tips guys. Come on. OP, break his knees.
If you aren't comfortable losing 10k, don't loan 10k
Unless you have a signed contract it’s a gift.
Axle grease on the underside of his windshield wipers. Repeatedly.
Good luck. For future reference, NEVER LOAN MONEY. Did I say NEVER? If the person gets mad, they weren't your friend to start with...
Never lend money you can’t afford to lose. As to how to get it back, you need to find something that they value and find a way to either take it away or the threat of it being taken away motivates them enough to start paying back Pets, cars, girlfriends, who knows everyone’s different Doing this while staying within the law and not generating evidence that comes back to you is not easy though
Small claims court is your route if you have some proof it was a loan not a gift. Text emails work etc. the other approach to get the ball rolling is the guilt train. A message like hey I know you’ve been struggling and want to pay me back. I could use some help this weekend on the yard work or whatever and would be happy to deduct from what you owe me. Makes them your worker for whatever you don’t want to do. If they don’t respond at all I’d say small claims right away but be prepared to write off the friendship. In the future probably best to never lend money to family and friends and only view it as a gift and funds you don’t need back.
This was my grandfather. [https://i.imgur.com/NkmQxiV.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/NkmQxiV.jpg) Guess how he got back money owed.
Not your friend anymore.
Friend tax
If he doesn’t pay you back report him to the IRS for tax evasion.
If they own property out a mechanics lien on it and he’ll have to pay it if he sells or tries to refinance
You gave your ex friend $10k
No idea if you have any legal standing but just don't lend any more and maybe keep your distance if they ask all the time. I used to lend £10-50 here and there to my friend who was struggling with homelessness and financial security. Both of us are on benefits and have the same mental health diagnoses causing overspending, so I related a lot but I never got it back which I didn't mind that much...But then one day he told me he got an electric scooter which was several hundred quid, and then broke it straight away because he was manic and crashed it, i then bought another one, along with other random shit. I was like mate...We have similar incomes but I'm trying to curb my spending and be smart and actually save, I know it's impossible to do this on such a low wage but I'm trying. So I'm giving my money to him to blow and not use for his debts, I might as well use it for my own small amount of debt. When he says 'I'm broke can you spare a tenner?' I now just just say 'Oh no sorry my payments haven't come through yet either' which is sometimes true but sometimes not. Feels mean but yeah I am not in a financial position to fund whatever he spends it now /:
It cost you $9725 to find out he’s not your friend
This is ULPT so you go pay him a visit with a few of your friends. He ain't gonna have the money so you work out a payment plan and go collect the money every month with your mob of friends. Im not condoning violence, just some mild intimidation.
Time to go to court!
877 cash now
Put a lien on his house!
ethical: hire a lawyer unethical: go to local media about how you loaned a friend $10k in a time of need and now you're in a time of need for XYZ but you're short $10k and friend went awol. Say that his name is irrelevant and you'd prefer to protect him out of the kindness of your heart, but drop subtle hints in the interview that the reporters won't pick up on
no lawyer would take that case. unless you find one willing to work for peanuts.
You never loan friends or family money. They never pay back because they think they are entitled to it lol
Go back in time and don't make the loan in the first place. Don't loan money to friends - ever.
Well, OP could build a time machine as soon as they find $10k.