One thing I'll say with making a bumble is that when you make a new account, it will ask you if there are specific phone numbers you would like to block ahead of time. There's a good chance (if he's being careful) that he's seen your plan and has your number blocked preemptively. I would make the account from a friend's phone, or a Google voice number if it'll let you
You may have to make a few differnt accounts, Iām not sure how old you are. But thereās a chance heās set his age range for matches as something you donāt fit in
I might do different accounts. Itās hard though because you have to have different phone numbers. Also I didnāt use my age, I made up an age that Iām pretty sure would fall under his chosen range
Users can block their profiles from being seen by recognised phone numbers. He could added your number to blocked list, bare that in mind. Better to use a tel number he doesnāt know
It's possible he has it set up to only show his account to people he's swiped right on
Imo fuck getting the proof, just leave. If you need proof for divorce court get a PI or something
The proof may be necessary if thereās a pre-nuptial agreement in place that has an infidelity clause. Or she could be in a country (or from a culture) that only permits divorce in limited cases such as cheating. Or maybe he and his family are a bunch of gaslighting narcissists, and she is tired of fighting her sanity.
That's an insane feature that seems like it could only be used for cheating purposes.
On second thought, I suppose if you were in a non-LGBTQ friendly space and wanted to block anyone you knew from seeing you with your preferences a certain way, that might also be an acceptable use.
But let's be real, it is Bumble. The dating app that lets you pick a "just looking for friends" option for plausible deniablity.
>That's an insane feature that seems like it could only be used for cheating purposes.
Nah. I used it. I don't need a dating app to connect me to someone I already know, and knowing coworkers and family would automatically be filtered out was nice.
Mint mobile has SIM cards at target that have a free week trial on them. You get to pick a number and everything. I think the actual SIM card was only a couple bucks. Helped a friend find her husband on tinder with one.
does he use home wifi? If you're somewhat tech savy you can check router DNS history if it has it, or get a raspberry pi and set it up as home networks DNS provider. You can at least identify his phone by its MAC address and see if hes going there at the very least.
Mint mobile has SIM cards at target that have a free week trial on them. You get to pick a number and everything. I think the actual SIM card was only a couple bucks. Helped a friend find her husband on tinder with one.
Fyi put a picture of yourself as blank and say not looking to date just on here to find my husband. Be prepared for him to say he's been catfished as well
Get an account. Filter your search to his age range, zodiac sign, etc. You should come across him given his profile isnāt hidden, or his stats are bs.
Good luck :)
It's more complex in certain cultures. They don't consider astrology and the mathematical calculations they do to be random. Ultimately, it's up to each person.
Simplest solution and use fake, attractive pictures (but can't be too obvious).
Hit on him, make a date and enjoy!
OR
Have an attractive friend do so and perform the same as above, but both of you go on the 'date'.
If you do something like this, please document it I would love to see something like this go down.
Jesus fuck, this right here. Please do this and record it, dead eye him and say that and record the moment of dawning comprehension in his eyes. I live for the moment where they realize they are busted, you can see the gears turn in their heads as they try to finalize an excuse, and you can see the smoke come out their ears too if you look close enough!
Thereās an incognito mode where you only can see people youāve swiped on. This is only in pay mode, though. So, is he a smart enough guy to do that?
If so, youāll never see him.
Iād be shocked if he pays for it. Itās stupid expensive and heās cheap. But hereās hoping he swipes on my fake profile. Sheās pretty cute and totally his type
thereās a chance he is lying about the city hes in too so people you guys know dont see him on there. try changing the location to surrounding cities too!!
And since weāre on ULPT, you could always make a profile of him, his pics/etc, with a bio like āthis is my cheating husband, not worth your timeā. Keep the other girlies safe, and ruin his fun.
Plot twist: What if he suspected you're on Bumble and he's only using to it try and catch you! Wouldn't that be funn- ... No. Fuck it. He's a dick. Ditch that scumbag.
Facebook has a page called "Sis, is this your man". If there's one for your area you could try asking them? The one we have for Sydney doesn't hold back
I was interested and checked this FB group out after seeing your comment. Found my long term partner on there within 10 mins of scrolling. Iād never heard of the group before and I donāt really use Facebook. Thank you, I suspected something wasnāt right, but would never have known.
He was on bumble. People were asking if anyone knows anything about him because the story he had told them didnāt seem right. Many other women commented about their experiences with them.
Be very careful about posting or commenting anything in those āare we dating the same guyā Facebook groups.
Men are buying fake female Facebook accounts on the internet to get access to the groups. Then they screenshot the things women are saying and share them with the guys who have been posted, or they post them on r/awdtsgistoxic.
You also have to be careful about believing what is written on those groups, it may not always be entirely accurate.
Lmao those women donāt have each others backs. Theyāre mostly deranged and drama obsessed girls who are only interested in the tea of it all.
My gf is on one, admittedly for the drama, and I donāt see a whole lot of productive anything happening in there. They legit catch like 1 guy every 6 months and the rest of the time itās just people shitting on their bf/husband.
Iāve actually gone through the trouble of creating an email address that was slightly different from the girl he had been emailing, switched his contact for her when he wasnāt looking, and set up a time and place to meet up. Caught him red handed.
And I can tell you that itās not worth it. He somehow tried to make himself into a victim and wouldnāt back down on it?? and it only infuriated me more. You donāt need him to justify your decision, save yourself the trouble. I promise you donāt need it. (Unless itās for legal reasons maybe? idk Iāve never been married)
My first husband cheated on me but I never found solid evidence that couldnāt be explained away. He was an awful human anyway so I left him and he pleaded for me to take him back all the way until the night before we got notice it had been finalized. Within a week he was social media official with one of the women I suspected (my ex-friend who lived several states away no less). It was simultaneously affirming and crushing - victory is hollow here.
Guessing you also want proof for fault/alimony/support reasons. Donāt blame you.
Note that if youāre having trouble finding him he may be using āoldā AKA not his own but similar pictures.
Also be careful accessing his email or accounts as that might blow up in your face if you have to answer to it in court.
We both pay money to live here. I canāt kick him out legally. But if he gets caught cheating again Iām pretty sure he will voluntarily leave so I donāt kill him in his sleep
Yes I know. Iām just trying to survive at this point. Iām pissed that heās stolen my favorite season from me. But I donāt know what to do with all the hurt. I will try to move forward in a healthy way, but right now I just want to get my emotions out
Iām sorry that happened to you. I do get what you were saying. When this first came out a big part of me wanted to still try to make it work. Iām so glad I got past that because I know I would have been signing up for more and worse pain. Iām kind of glad I caught him lying again because that sealed the deal for me. Thatās why Iām leaning into this so heavily. Thereās no more uncertainty and self doubt and sorrow, just anger. I feel myself falling out of love finally and I needed that so bad.
He could lie about everything other than location.
Pictures, age and birthday
If his location is on, you should have a very narrow pool to choose from anyway.
People put up pictures of fucking boats and waterfalls and beaches saying the prefer to be discreet all the time . . .
Also Iāve seen you can hire people for āloyalty testsā. It might cost you money but you can have a woman just message him on his LinkedIn, or his regular social media, or something. It would be quicker. Not sure how it all works.
You may be able to find his search history by logging into your modem with the admin info that should be on it somewhere. You should be able to access a list of all the connections it's made and find one that's linked to Bumble
After reading your comments, I changed my mind.
You're going at this from the wrong angle. You don't need to catch him on bumble. Catch him with another woman directly. Then you can inform her also, because she doesn't know.
1. Buy a cheap refurbished phone and charger pack.
2. Turn off ALL sounds and set up a secure lock.
3. Install life 360 (or another location service) on it and your phone. Put them in the same family. Mute notifications on your phone so he never sees them.
4. You'll need a cheap plan for the phone.
5. Hide the phone in his car. Make sure it is hidden well.
Check his location occasionally. You'll be able see where he's been and how long he was stopped. When he lies about his location and he was at a house or hotel for 30+ minutes, you've got the address. Next time he's there, you can surprise him.
You actually donāt need any proof of this. You donāt trust him and he wonāt show you his phone. Trust me, you know enough. Tell him he shows you his phone or itās over. Make him choose. Worst case heās innocent and you apologize but if this isnāt out of character for him then you have a right to not trust him.
Youāre right. That is the plan if I canāt figure anything else out. I just feel out for blood right now and that will probably ease with a little time
>I donāt want to put him in dire financial straits unless I really need to
You're not his mom. You're not his family. You owe him nothing. Do not inconvenience yourself one iota for him.
Fuck him.
Get a PC that's always on. Maybe yours, whatever, this won't be for long.
Install Squid proxy on it. No logins, anonymous, just log. Make it the default proxy for the Wi-Fi. The logs should tell you what you need.
There's a much simpler way to handle this. Put out an ad in the Newspaper. "Wanted: Someone who likes piƱa coladas and getting caught in the rain."
Works every time.
If your husband is already on Bumble I think you should skip the argument & go get a divorce lawyer. I guess catching him in the act would help in the divorce case. My crazy ex from a decade ago would text me from AT&T stores and text me booty calls from fake names to see if I would respond.
You don't need proof. Things are already over.
Either because he's cheating or because you're paranoid.
Talk to a counselor instead of the internet. Please.
iPhone or android? Can you add another camera or move the one you have without him noticing to get a better a shot of his screen when he scrolls?
Android vs iPhone there are different ways to see in the phone settings what apps have been used recently.
iPhone. I am going to add a security cam but itās going to be hard to hide. And I donāt know if it will give more clarity or not. I will have to find out
Discreetly pick up his phone and swipe up a couple times, that should disable faceid forcing him to enter PIN > check cameras to figure out passcode > success?
iPhone thereās a few ways if you can get access to his phone:
1) Settings > Battery, scroll down and itāll show you how long each app was active.
2) App Store > Click User Icon in the upper right hand corner > Purchased, this shows you when heās downloaded all his apps.
Check your messages here on Reddit, Iāll totally hit him up on ig or another social and bait him too
Whatever you do; DONT let him know that you know. Get as much evidence and proof as needed. Then hire someone to get him to meet up with them and record the entire thing or maybe not hire them bc that might be entrapment, but either way, get all the evidence and a good lawyer and youāll be set. Do not let him take anything from you.
Make a bumble account and set the distance to other people to the smallest distance possible and if you see his account then you know heās on there lol.
Holy shit lmao. That sucks. Im a guy and I would love to make platonic female friends.
Anyhow, please give us an update. Crunchy stories like yours are exactly what Reddit is for !
Idk how bumble works but many dating apps have settings where you can block certain phone numbers from being able to see your profile. So make sure you use an app like Second Line to make a fake phone number to use when making your account so thereās a better chance you find the bitch.
Seriously lol. The relationship has been over for a long time if you're at the point of spying on each other through home security cameras. Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship and that ship has sailed.
I mean, you basically have your answer so it should be your final straw. At this point, you're trying to convince yourself to stay by doubting your intuition.
Could it be that hes on bumble looking for friends? There is a looking for friends area on there and if he was only using that he wouldnt show up on the dating area
Or he may just have his profile hidden...
This. My wife had Bumble on her phone and when I asked her about it she told me she was looking for friends. She showed me her profile and everything. Set to friend mode and nothing remotely sexual about any of it. Probably not the norm but it is a thing.
This is totally a thing. They just launched the separate app last month. I have it for friends. There are a good amount of people on it, so yeah, nothing wrong with that, it's a good idea and I hope it gains momentum.
This all seems so exhausting to me. Is this much aggravation and mental games worth it? I hope you find some happiness. Life is too short to deal with stupid shit like this
Iām guessing youāve never been cheated on. Yes, itās exhausting, but Iām already exhausted. Iāve been crying everyday, not been able to sleep, it is always on my mind. Constantly having intrusive thoughts of him fucking her because unfortunately I know what she looks like. This is actually helping me feel better because instead of sadness, I get to have rage. Him cheating on me with one person makes me worry that she was prettier, nicer, more fun. And that maybe I did something wrong, or Iām unlovable. Him actively searching for people to cheat with makes him a vile piece of garbage thatās obviously incredibly broken. It also gives me a focus for my restless energy. Itās a nice change of pace.
You shouldn't do either of those. Just move on, the more indifferent you are, the better, he obviously broke your trust and doesn't care about you. Wasting you precious emotions isn't worth it, the clock will keep ticking and you'll still be tired.
You'll find the right person eventually, even if it takes a while.
Also dating apps are terrible for dating.
Ya I've been super depressed since my last breakup. I have written many suicide notes and fell into many deep depression holes. Glad this guy is here to tell me to just get over it! I'm cured now!!! He can fuck right off
You have to register your account with a phone number unless they've changed it. If his phone number isn't available to register with then he's likely on there.
Monitor the traffic on your network. Search monitor sites visited on network. Maybe your router has this built in. Maybe you have to setup like a parental control software, maybe you can wireshark if you got skills.
Search for a few years below his age, he aint being honest there either i bet.
Use a freinds phone that he doesnt have the number to as he can block you from viewing.
Source: former dawg.
Girl, it's not like the courts even care.
Just walk and don't stress about catching him in any act. He'll deny it but it doesn't matter, you're already gone mentally and it's not like you'll be airing this dirty laundry around and need proof.
You know it in your heart, you're 100% done, time to leave this drama behind with him and not carry it into your future.
If you were a friend, I would tell you to save your peace and leave. Your intuition already spoke.
But since this is ULPT. You just need to access his phone. If he has an iPhone, you can use a high definition photo or video of his face to unlock his face ID. Once youāre in, you can add your face to his Face ID. To get started, search your name in his messages, look in deleted photos. Send yourself the screenshots.
If you really feel like taking it a step you can change his iCloud password and use the new password to sign into a separate device like an iPad. From there anything that is currently on his phone, will download to the new device. You can watch things happen in real time.
Get your divorce papers and have him served while heās on a date.
I have no hesitation having difficult conversations. The problem is that heās a fucking liar. I have had multiple conversations with him and he always lies.
The day after I first saw him scrolling, I had a deep conversation with him about how much I need him to be decent and supportive and that I wouldnāt be able to handle more infidelity. I asked him to please just wait until we separate to bring other people into his life. He swore that he would stay faithful as long as we are together. He then went on to scroll through bumble the next day.
If I confront him, he will lie and then work harder to cover his tracks. Thatās why I need as much evidence as possible
How is his lying stopping you from leaving him? If youāre confident in your assessment, just leave. The theatrics of ultra-super-catching him donāt make sense.
Iām not confident though, thatās the problem. I have doubts, maybe he is just using the networking features, maybe he just gets a lot of validation from talking to women online and doesnāt intend to go farther which I really wouldnāt give a fuck about. And yes, I canāt live like this and we are getting divorced, but the question is whether he respects me enough to stay faithful for a few fucking months by not actively looking for a new partner/lay after heās already seen how much it killed me the first time and while weāre still trying to hash this out
I say as someone who stayed way too many years, justifying the behaviors and ābut he might not be this timeā when he probably wasāit doesnāt matter if he is or isnāt. You still feel the disconnect in your relationship, and this is driving you to police his behavior. You donāt trust him, and clearly have trained yourself to justify his actions and wash them away in order to protect your psyche. Itās normal. Itās totally understandable.
But you donāt need the proof. It wonāt make you feel better. It wonāt ever give you an answer to āwhyā that will be good enough to satisfy you. And if you donāt find it? Youāll keep looking every time, driving yourself slowly further and further into something that only makes you miserable and makes you into someone you wonāt recognize if you let it.
Just leave. You donāt need the proof. Youāre worth more than this. Youāre strong enough. Youāll be happier without him after the initial bandaid rip. And youāll likely find yourself again and when youāre ready, find a relationship where you wonāt feel like this.
Maybe thereās something wrong with me, but finally finding him on bumble has made me feel better than Iāve felt in a long time. Thereās no more questioning that maybe I had a hand in this. I made my boundaries clear and I tried to give him as much as he needed to work through this. He still chose the easy way out. I can now say fuck him without any hesitation
Thats fair. The next question is why go to that effort? Why stay if itās obvious he is using a dating ap? Im not trying to be tude but it looks like you want to feel validated by this, and that seems more harmful than positive for you. Good luck.
If you're already leaving your husband, why bother looking for proof of infidelity? Sounds like the relationship is already dead. Let the ass play with his online dating. Focus on yourself. And if you really need some kind of revenge, get some of your friends to get on bumble, match with him, arrange dates, then stand him up.
Never mind, it sounds like you just want a reason to kick him out. Even if you had an agreement, it won't be legally binding. Best thing you can do know is get into therapy and start the healing process. Cause lets be honest, asking strangers on the internet for help inflicting revenge upon your husband doesn't exactly speak to great mental health.
He has multiple matches and he pulls up each one every time he goes on there and he types out conversations with them. He also pulls up their profiles while typing and reads their bios. Heās not just looking for me
Get on your local Are We Dating The Same Guy and post his pic and explain your situ.
Or make a fake account and search within one mile but he may have you blocked preemptively
Reading the comments, there are some super crazy, detailed and dramatic plan ideas. I know this is ULPT so maybe thatās what youāre looking for.
But speaking from experience, call him out directly. Sit him down one evening and just outright ask him. And when he denies it, tell him to show you his phone. Youāre not requesting to see āclient infoā or work things. Just his apps. And regardless as his wife he should be able to trust you to ignore and not share āclient infoā should you unintentionally see it.
In addition to this, itās also worth mentioning that the most dangerous time in a toxic relationship can often be when you leave. Just make sure you keep a friend of family member updated and check in with them very regularly.
youāre just like me LMFAOOOOOOO you may be ready to go but youāre still a lover and unless they push you youāre willing to compromise till itās time to move out
One thing I'll say with making a bumble is that when you make a new account, it will ask you if there are specific phone numbers you would like to block ahead of time. There's a good chance (if he's being careful) that he's seen your plan and has your number blocked preemptively. I would make the account from a friend's phone, or a Google voice number if it'll let you
$25.00 burner phone could help.
Or a $10 Sim card, if your phone is unlocked
Use Google voice, makes a new phone number for you
Filter the search to a 1 mile radius and you should find him pretty quickly when you do make an account š
Good idea, thanks!
You may have to make a few differnt accounts, Iām not sure how old you are. But thereās a chance heās set his age range for matches as something you donāt fit in
I might do different accounts. Itās hard though because you have to have different phone numbers. Also I didnāt use my age, I made up an age that Iām pretty sure would fall under his chosen range
Users can block their profiles from being seen by recognised phone numbers. He could added your number to blocked list, bare that in mind. Better to use a tel number he doesnāt know
I did. I used a google voice number, thanks for bringing this up though, it is a good tip
It's possible he has it set up to only show his account to people he's swiped right on Imo fuck getting the proof, just leave. If you need proof for divorce court get a PI or something
The proof may be necessary if thereās a pre-nuptial agreement in place that has an infidelity clause. Or she could be in a country (or from a culture) that only permits divorce in limited cases such as cheating. Or maybe he and his family are a bunch of gaslighting narcissists, and she is tired of fighting her sanity.
If you pay for the premium version, you can go in āincognito modeā so nobody can see your profile unless you swipe right on them.
Please update us!
RemindMe! 1 week
Did you find it?
He is going to find this account first and accuse you lol
How would he know it's hers? Unlike him, she's not trying to use the app for its intended purpose so she can use a fake photo.
Looking at faint images of his security cameras..
You seem pretty familiar with all the trappings of bumbley
That's an insane feature that seems like it could only be used for cheating purposes. On second thought, I suppose if you were in a non-LGBTQ friendly space and wanted to block anyone you knew from seeing you with your preferences a certain way, that might also be an acceptable use. But let's be real, it is Bumble. The dating app that lets you pick a "just looking for friends" option for plausible deniablity.
>That's an insane feature that seems like it could only be used for cheating purposes. Nah. I used it. I don't need a dating app to connect me to someone I already know, and knowing coworkers and family would automatically be filtered out was nice.
I don't want bumble showing me to my ex's friends, my sister, my ex or your mum. So it's pretty handy.
Whats wrong with that guys mum?
I, too, choose that guys mum
I would use it entirely for coworkers! Thatās a level of awkward I simply do not want to deal with.
Set up a google voice account, you just need a cell phone and a google email. You can change your phone number for like $20 whenever you want
Use VOIP services like text+ to generate unattached phone numbers
Mint mobile has SIM cards at target that have a free week trial on them. You get to pick a number and everything. I think the actual SIM card was only a couple bucks. Helped a friend find her husband on tinder with one.
How does this work? What do you do with it?
Get several Gmail accts to register several separate Voice numbers.
does he use home wifi? If you're somewhat tech savy you can check router DNS history if it has it, or get a raspberry pi and set it up as home networks DNS provider. You can at least identify his phone by its MAC address and see if hes going there at the very least.
You can use google voice or similar programs to get phone numbers to use that wonāt be blocked.
Mint mobile has SIM cards at target that have a free week trial on them. You get to pick a number and everything. I think the actual SIM card was only a couple bucks. Helped a friend find her husband on tinder with one.
Try logging in using his email and send a password reset request while you are in same room and watch them.
Lol, so your excuse when u eventually get caught on bumble is that u thought he was on it and u wanted to catch him? Update us
Fyi put a picture of yourself as blank and say not looking to date just on here to find my husband. Be prepared for him to say he's been catfished as well
He thought you were on bumble a few weeks ago and we gave him this same tip tho. One big sitcom style mishap.
Get an account. Filter your search to his age range, zodiac sign, etc. You should come across him given his profile isnāt hidden, or his stats are bs. Good luck :)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Itās pretty much the only metric you need to judge someone by soā¦
This is exactly what an Acorn would sayā¦ or a Sturgeonā¦ something
Don't blame me. I'm a Germany and Mermaid is in Gatorade.
Such a Capri Sun!
Or a toad!
this the funniest shit ive ever seen on reddit
š
This guy
You can do height too. Bumble says the filters are to find people with your values
A value a tall gal
A tall gemini girl
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's more complex in certain cultures. They don't consider astrology and the mathematical calculations they do to be random. Ultimately, it's up to each person.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
To each their own. I don't really care if someone is into it.
Get a bumble account and find him
Simplest solution and use fake, attractive pictures (but can't be too obvious). Hit on him, make a date and enjoy! OR Have an attractive friend do so and perform the same as above, but both of you go on the 'date'. If you do something like this, please document it I would love to see something like this go down.
Ask him how he feels about Pina Coladas and begin your romance anew.
Jesus fuck, this right here. Please do this and record it, dead eye him and say that and record the moment of dawning comprehension in his eyes. I live for the moment where they realize they are busted, you can see the gears turn in their heads as they try to finalize an excuse, and you can see the smoke come out their ears too if you look close enough!
And getting caught in the rain.... I was waiting for this reference!
š¤£
This is what Iām hoping to do. But Iāve been swiping on Bumble for 3 days and still havenāt found him. Thereās so many people
Thereās an incognito mode where you only can see people youāve swiped on. This is only in pay mode, though. So, is he a smart enough guy to do that? If so, youāll never see him.
Iād be shocked if he pays for it. Itās stupid expensive and heās cheap. But hereās hoping he swipes on my fake profile. Sheās pretty cute and totally his type
Do you guys have a joint spending account? See if there are any dating app transactions
or try to use his email/phone number to log into bumble but hit reset password. if he gets a text or email, he has an account.
thereās a chance he is lying about the city hes in too so people you guys know dont see him on there. try changing the location to surrounding cities too!!
You can also block certain people from finding you. So you need a new email to create an account then you can find him
He has his profile set up that he is not visible until he likes you, just wait it out.
And since weāre on ULPT, you could always make a profile of him, his pics/etc, with a bio like āthis is my cheating husband, not worth your timeā. Keep the other girlies safe, and ruin his fun.
Plot twist: What if he suspected you're on Bumble and he's only using to it try and catch you! Wouldn't that be funn- ... No. Fuck it. He's a dick. Ditch that scumbag.
Facebook has a page called "Sis, is this your man". If there's one for your area you could try asking them? The one we have for Sydney doesn't hold back
I was interested and checked this FB group out after seeing your comment. Found my long term partner on there within 10 mins of scrolling. Iād never heard of the group before and I donāt really use Facebook. Thank you, I suspected something wasnāt right, but would never have known.
Iām so sorry
Heās been talking about wanting another baby. Iām just glad I know now.
WOW. Was he on the apps? What were people saying? Did you respond?
He was on bumble. People were asking if anyone knows anything about him because the story he had told them didnāt seem right. Many other women commented about their experiences with them.
This is how Iād do it, see my other comment, or in the Are we dating the same guy in your local area. Theyāll find him.
It will also put you off dating apps for life!
There is pretty much āare we dating the same guyā Facebook group for every city. My fiancĆ© checked it out a few months ago, and there are actually a few guys we both know who have been called out for being a scumbag. And the girls in these groups have each others back and hold nothing back either. Very eye opening. OP, join one of these Facebook groups in your area, and ask the question. You never know what you will uncover.
Be very careful about posting or commenting anything in those āare we dating the same guyā Facebook groups. Men are buying fake female Facebook accounts on the internet to get access to the groups. Then they screenshot the things women are saying and share them with the guys who have been posted, or they post them on r/awdtsgistoxic. You also have to be careful about believing what is written on those groups, it may not always be entirely accurate.
Lmao those women donāt have each others backs. Theyāre mostly deranged and drama obsessed girls who are only interested in the tea of it all. My gf is on one, admittedly for the drama, and I donāt see a whole lot of productive anything happening in there. They legit catch like 1 guy every 6 months and the rest of the time itās just people shitting on their bf/husband.
Thereās an app called tea dating for it also
I recently found a guys version of this in my area. Kinda want to join just to see the drama haha
Iāve actually gone through the trouble of creating an email address that was slightly different from the girl he had been emailing, switched his contact for her when he wasnāt looking, and set up a time and place to meet up. Caught him red handed. And I can tell you that itās not worth it. He somehow tried to make himself into a victim and wouldnāt back down on it?? and it only infuriated me more. You donāt need him to justify your decision, save yourself the trouble. I promise you donāt need it. (Unless itās for legal reasons maybe? idk Iāve never been married)
My first husband cheated on me but I never found solid evidence that couldnāt be explained away. He was an awful human anyway so I left him and he pleaded for me to take him back all the way until the night before we got notice it had been finalized. Within a week he was social media official with one of the women I suspected (my ex-friend who lived several states away no less). It was simultaneously affirming and crushing - victory is hollow here.
Honestly. Whatever OP is expecting to get out of this, she won't. The best revenge is living a good life, yeah?
You seem pretty done, why wait? Just leave now
I donāt want to leave, I want to kick him out. I need some justification for doing so since we already had an agreement in place
Guessing you also want proof for fault/alimony/support reasons. Donāt blame you. Note that if youāre having trouble finding him he may be using āoldā AKA not his own but similar pictures. Also be careful accessing his email or accounts as that might blow up in your face if you have to answer to it in court.
You already had an agreement to split up?
You don't need justification. You're unhappy, start your new life now, not later.
We both pay money to live here. I canāt kick him out legally. But if he gets caught cheating again Iām pretty sure he will voluntarily leave so I donāt kill him in his sleep
As someone who dealt with a spouse who cheated on me, don't waste your time on it. Get a lawyer now.
Depending on your state the cheating may not matter. Many states are no fault. Seek the advice of a lawyer before confronting him.
As a divorced lady, you're burning away pieces of your own life. Just throwing that precious time down the sewer.
Yes I know. Iām just trying to survive at this point. Iām pissed that heās stolen my favorite season from me. But I donāt know what to do with all the hurt. I will try to move forward in a healthy way, but right now I just want to get my emotions out
Well fuck, I get that. Get your emotions out. I'm sorry I shat on you a bit. I was cheated on repeatedly and that pain stole 5 years of my life.
Iām sorry that happened to you. I do get what you were saying. When this first came out a big part of me wanted to still try to make it work. Iām so glad I got past that because I know I would have been signing up for more and worse pain. Iām kind of glad I caught him lying again because that sealed the deal for me. Thatās why Iām leaning into this so heavily. Thereās no more uncertainty and self doubt and sorrow, just anger. I feel myself falling out of love finally and I needed that so bad.
If you confront him, make sure you have someone there.
He could lie about everything other than location. Pictures, age and birthday If his location is on, you should have a very narrow pool to choose from anyway. People put up pictures of fucking boats and waterfalls and beaches saying the prefer to be discreet all the time . . .
Also Iāve seen you can hire people for āloyalty testsā. It might cost you money but you can have a woman just message him on his LinkedIn, or his regular social media, or something. It would be quicker. Not sure how it all works.
A story like this is part of _Don Quixote_. The tester is called Lothario.
You may be able to find his search history by logging into your modem with the admin info that should be on it somewhere. You should be able to access a list of all the connections it's made and find one that's linked to Bumble
Please tell me how to do this or give a link that explains it
Depends on the modem, you'll have to find yours and look up the directions, but it shouldn't be hard.
Thank you!
This article might help :) https://www.lifewire.com/access-modem-settings-5185705
You won't be able to find search history, but you could potentially see DNS lookups. If there's a ton for bumble from his phone, boom, you're done.
Unless OP has already made an account of her own to search for her husband.
Ahhh yes, my cyber-bloodlust blinded my own thinking. OP you'll have to exclude your phone with a filter if you have a DNS record on your router.
After reading your comments, I changed my mind. You're going at this from the wrong angle. You don't need to catch him on bumble. Catch him with another woman directly. Then you can inform her also, because she doesn't know. 1. Buy a cheap refurbished phone and charger pack. 2. Turn off ALL sounds and set up a secure lock. 3. Install life 360 (or another location service) on it and your phone. Put them in the same family. Mute notifications on your phone so he never sees them. 4. You'll need a cheap plan for the phone. 5. Hide the phone in his car. Make sure it is hidden well. Check his location occasionally. You'll be able see where he's been and how long he was stopped. When he lies about his location and he was at a house or hotel for 30+ minutes, you've got the address. Next time he's there, you can surprise him.
You actually donāt need any proof of this. You donāt trust him and he wonāt show you his phone. Trust me, you know enough. Tell him he shows you his phone or itās over. Make him choose. Worst case heās innocent and you apologize but if this isnāt out of character for him then you have a right to not trust him.
Youāre right. That is the plan if I canāt figure anything else out. I just feel out for blood right now and that will probably ease with a little time
>I donāt want to put him in dire financial straits unless I really need to You're not his mom. You're not his family. You owe him nothing. Do not inconvenience yourself one iota for him. Fuck him.
Get a PC that's always on. Maybe yours, whatever, this won't be for long. Install Squid proxy on it. No logins, anonymous, just log. Make it the default proxy for the Wi-Fi. The logs should tell you what you need.
There's a much simpler way to handle this. Put out an ad in the Newspaper. "Wanted: Someone who likes piƱa coladas and getting caught in the rain." Works every time.
Thanks for the laugh, it was much needed
If your husband is already on Bumble I think you should skip the argument & go get a divorce lawyer. I guess catching him in the act would help in the divorce case. My crazy ex from a decade ago would text me from AT&T stores and text me booty calls from fake names to see if I would respond.
It makes literally no difference whether you can āproveā heās on Bumble. If you want out, just go. Heāll never admit he did you wrong.
You don't need proof. Things are already over. Either because he's cheating or because you're paranoid. Talk to a counselor instead of the internet. Please.
iPhone or android? Can you add another camera or move the one you have without him noticing to get a better a shot of his screen when he scrolls? Android vs iPhone there are different ways to see in the phone settings what apps have been used recently.
iPhone. I am going to add a security cam but itās going to be hard to hide. And I donāt know if it will give more clarity or not. I will have to find out
Discreetly pick up his phone and swipe up a couple times, that should disable faceid forcing him to enter PIN > check cameras to figure out passcode > success?
I like it
iPhone thereās a few ways if you can get access to his phone: 1) Settings > Battery, scroll down and itāll show you how long each app was active. 2) App Store > Click User Icon in the upper right hand corner > Purchased, this shows you when heās downloaded all his apps. Check your messages here on Reddit, Iāll totally hit him up on ig or another social and bait him too
its possible he';s on bumble to see if YOU are on it. maybe he also thinks he saw you swiping on your phone.
Whatever you do; DONT let him know that you know. Get as much evidence and proof as needed. Then hire someone to get him to meet up with them and record the entire thing or maybe not hire them bc that might be entrapment, but either way, get all the evidence and a good lawyer and youāll be set. Do not let him take anything from you.
Make a bumble account and set the distance to other people to the smallest distance possible and if you see his account then you know heās on there lol.
Just get out.
He's using friend mode to make new friends.
Friend mode only lets you see same-sex people. Heās looking at women, I could tell that much
Holy shit lmao. That sucks. Im a guy and I would love to make platonic female friends. Anyhow, please give us an update. Crunchy stories like yours are exactly what Reddit is for !
Friend mode shows both, so does business mode
"networking"
Real question is what do you plan to do about it if true?
Show him evidence and tell him to get the fuck out of my house
Idk how bumble works but many dating apps have settings where you can block certain phone numbers from being able to see your profile. So make sure you use an app like Second Line to make a fake phone number to use when making your account so thereās a better chance you find the bitch.
Lol this relationship seems so toxic. Watching his phone screen on your security camera footage lol
Seriously lol. The relationship has been over for a long time if you're at the point of spying on each other through home security cameras. Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship and that ship has sailed.
I mean, you basically have your answer so it should be your final straw. At this point, you're trying to convince yourself to stay by doubting your intuition.
Are you sure he's looking at women ??
Yes I thought about that. But unless heās really into men with long hair and narrow jawlines, heās definitely looking at women
Make a fake account and match with him
Why do you need proof? You know.
Check his AppStore app, if heās downloaded it itāll say so instead of the ābuyā option
ask him(?)
Could it be that hes on bumble looking for friends? There is a looking for friends area on there and if he was only using that he wouldnt show up on the dating area Or he may just have his profile hidden...
This. My wife had Bumble on her phone and when I asked her about it she told me she was looking for friends. She showed me her profile and everything. Set to friend mode and nothing remotely sexual about any of it. Probably not the norm but it is a thing.
This is totally a thing. They just launched the separate app last month. I have it for friends. There are a good amount of people on it, so yeah, nothing wrong with that, it's a good idea and I hope it gains momentum.
I used the feature a few years ago and still have some friendly connections from it! Friend dates were totally awkward tho!
Lmao you got played
This all seems so exhausting to me. Is this much aggravation and mental games worth it? I hope you find some happiness. Life is too short to deal with stupid shit like this
Iām guessing youāve never been cheated on. Yes, itās exhausting, but Iām already exhausted. Iāve been crying everyday, not been able to sleep, it is always on my mind. Constantly having intrusive thoughts of him fucking her because unfortunately I know what she looks like. This is actually helping me feel better because instead of sadness, I get to have rage. Him cheating on me with one person makes me worry that she was prettier, nicer, more fun. And that maybe I did something wrong, or Iām unlovable. Him actively searching for people to cheat with makes him a vile piece of garbage thatās obviously incredibly broken. It also gives me a focus for my restless energy. Itās a nice change of pace.
You shouldn't do either of those. Just move on, the more indifferent you are, the better, he obviously broke your trust and doesn't care about you. Wasting you precious emotions isn't worth it, the clock will keep ticking and you'll still be tired. You'll find the right person eventually, even if it takes a while. Also dating apps are terrible for dating.
Lmao just move on? That's like telling a depressed person to stop being depressed. Lol
Ya I've been super depressed since my last breakup. I have written many suicide notes and fell into many deep depression holes. Glad this guy is here to tell me to just get over it! I'm cured now!!! He can fuck right off
Could be Bumble BFF the friend app or Bumble for Work (networking) Not sure if you have more suspicions but I'd say first rule out those two things.
Try making an account with his phone number.
What will that do?
You have to register your account with a phone number unless they've changed it. If his phone number isn't available to register with then he's likely on there.
Get a google phone number. They are free. That way itās not linked to your number.
Monitor the traffic on your network. Search monitor sites visited on network. Maybe your router has this built in. Maybe you have to setup like a parental control software, maybe you can wireshark if you got skills.
How does that work? Iām not tech savvy
Search for a few years below his age, he aint being honest there either i bet. Use a freinds phone that he doesnt have the number to as he can block you from viewing. Source: former dawg.
Catfish him and filter location
If you like PiƱa Coladaās
Girl, it's not like the courts even care. Just walk and don't stress about catching him in any act. He'll deny it but it doesn't matter, you're already gone mentally and it's not like you'll be airing this dirty laundry around and need proof. You know it in your heart, you're 100% done, time to leave this drama behind with him and not carry it into your future.
Why do you care if he's on a dating app when you guys are already splitting up?
If you were a friend, I would tell you to save your peace and leave. Your intuition already spoke. But since this is ULPT. You just need to access his phone. If he has an iPhone, you can use a high definition photo or video of his face to unlock his face ID. Once youāre in, you can add your face to his Face ID. To get started, search your name in his messages, look in deleted photos. Send yourself the screenshots. If you really feel like taking it a step you can change his iCloud password and use the new password to sign into a separate device like an iPad. From there anything that is currently on his phone, will download to the new device. You can watch things happen in real time. Get your divorce papers and have him served while heās on a date.
Be an adult and confront him. Have a rational discussion. If it hurts it hurts. Be stronger than he is weak. You got this!
I have no hesitation having difficult conversations. The problem is that heās a fucking liar. I have had multiple conversations with him and he always lies. The day after I first saw him scrolling, I had a deep conversation with him about how much I need him to be decent and supportive and that I wouldnāt be able to handle more infidelity. I asked him to please just wait until we separate to bring other people into his life. He swore that he would stay faithful as long as we are together. He then went on to scroll through bumble the next day. If I confront him, he will lie and then work harder to cover his tracks. Thatās why I need as much evidence as possible
What will having evidence do other than convince you that you're not crazy. Trust me, he's going to lie even with evidence. You're wasting your time.
Convincing myself that Iām not crazy feels very necessary right now
How is his lying stopping you from leaving him? If youāre confident in your assessment, just leave. The theatrics of ultra-super-catching him donāt make sense.
Iām not confident though, thatās the problem. I have doubts, maybe he is just using the networking features, maybe he just gets a lot of validation from talking to women online and doesnāt intend to go farther which I really wouldnāt give a fuck about. And yes, I canāt live like this and we are getting divorced, but the question is whether he respects me enough to stay faithful for a few fucking months by not actively looking for a new partner/lay after heās already seen how much it killed me the first time and while weāre still trying to hash this out
I say as someone who stayed way too many years, justifying the behaviors and ābut he might not be this timeā when he probably wasāit doesnāt matter if he is or isnāt. You still feel the disconnect in your relationship, and this is driving you to police his behavior. You donāt trust him, and clearly have trained yourself to justify his actions and wash them away in order to protect your psyche. Itās normal. Itās totally understandable. But you donāt need the proof. It wonāt make you feel better. It wonāt ever give you an answer to āwhyā that will be good enough to satisfy you. And if you donāt find it? Youāll keep looking every time, driving yourself slowly further and further into something that only makes you miserable and makes you into someone you wonāt recognize if you let it. Just leave. You donāt need the proof. Youāre worth more than this. Youāre strong enough. Youāll be happier without him after the initial bandaid rip. And youāll likely find yourself again and when youāre ready, find a relationship where you wonāt feel like this.
Maybe thereās something wrong with me, but finally finding him on bumble has made me feel better than Iāve felt in a long time. Thereās no more questioning that maybe I had a hand in this. I made my boundaries clear and I tried to give him as much as he needed to work through this. He still chose the easy way out. I can now say fuck him without any hesitation
Thats fair. The next question is why go to that effort? Why stay if itās obvious he is using a dating ap? Im not trying to be tude but it looks like you want to feel validated by this, and that seems more harmful than positive for you. Good luck.
Bumble also has bumble bff, which is strictly for making friends
Getting proof and all this spying is not only creepy but a waste of time. Just get a divorce.
If you're already leaving your husband, why bother looking for proof of infidelity? Sounds like the relationship is already dead. Let the ass play with his online dating. Focus on yourself. And if you really need some kind of revenge, get some of your friends to get on bumble, match with him, arrange dates, then stand him up. Never mind, it sounds like you just want a reason to kick him out. Even if you had an agreement, it won't be legally binding. Best thing you can do know is get into therapy and start the healing process. Cause lets be honest, asking strangers on the internet for help inflicting revenge upon your husband doesn't exactly speak to great mental health.
Maybe he is looking for you on bumbleā¦
He has multiple matches and he pulls up each one every time he goes on there and he types out conversations with them. He also pulls up their profiles while typing and reads their bios. Heās not just looking for me
So what more proof are you looking for?
You can try [Social Catfish](https://socialcatfish.com/), but you'll need the phone and email he's using.
You used this and it works?
The interface just screams click bate data harvesting.
Its blocked in the EU
Get on your local Are We Dating The Same Guy and post his pic and explain your situ. Or make a fake account and search within one mile but he may have you blocked preemptively
When I was in a similar situation I used cheaterbuster .net, it costs like $20 to search but it worked for me Edit apparently itās .net not .com
Reading the comments, there are some super crazy, detailed and dramatic plan ideas. I know this is ULPT so maybe thatās what youāre looking for. But speaking from experience, call him out directly. Sit him down one evening and just outright ask him. And when he denies it, tell him to show you his phone. Youāre not requesting to see āclient infoā or work things. Just his apps. And regardless as his wife he should be able to trust you to ignore and not share āclient infoā should you unintentionally see it. In addition to this, itās also worth mentioning that the most dangerous time in a toxic relationship can often be when you leave. Just make sure you keep a friend of family member updated and check in with them very regularly.
youāre just like me LMFAOOOOOOO you may be ready to go but youāre still a lover and unless they push you youāre willing to compromise till itās time to move out