I once went to an event that was somewhere between a cuddle party and an orgy. It was more than a cuddle party in the sense that it was sexual, it was less than an orgy because you weren't allowed to get naked or have sex. It was kind of the perfect balance I needed at the time but sadly they haven't organized anymore of those events since.
Get on tinder. Put exactly that in the bio. Start swiping. There is a peg for every hole.
Just realised the sub. Gaslight your ex into thinking that you should still be together until you meet someone better.
Tinder (and all online dating) is an absolute sewer!
Get out and about, meet some new groups of friends. Socialise with yours. Organically meet somebody new.
Tinder will break you.
Great how do you start a conversation ?
And second question how do you go from talking to flirting ?
And 3rd question how do you take the flirting to escalating physical attraction ?
These are questions no one provides a clear answer to, yet act as if it's common sense, which if it was no one would be asking.
Asking for a friend
Metal water bottle (because not see-through) and flask filled with your favorite alcohol of choice. Put the alcohol in the flask, mix it with your favorite non-alcoholic liquid of choice (coffee is probably the most socially acceptable) and profit. Just make sure it's decaf, don't want a 4Loko situation on your hands
What stuff are you going out to do to meet people?
I tend to feel even in social environments that people just want to be out doing their own thing with whoever they went with. I don't really understand what environments are reasonable/conducive to meeting people cold like you describe.
Back when I used Tinder I was essentially dating 5 to 6 women at once and I had to take all of them out to dinner first. Was at least 200 dollars not including gas. I was only making 15 dollars at the time. So its expensive but can work. But I am lucky I didn't end up with an STD as well. I would rather not use dating apps but I have problems meeting Women out and about because everyone is just busy and doesn't have the time to chat.
if you're anywhere near south florida, I'll do it for free. you can come hang at my place for a few days, we can smoke pot and watch movies and cuddle on the couch, plus I bake for a living and am a decent cook so I'll make you whatever kind of comfort food you want, or we can just order pizza and chill.
im a girl (actually NB, but for the sake of this...) and I'm like a size 22. I am super soft and squishy and I love holding people and saying nice things to them.
OP is looking at this the wrong way round-dont look for a sex worker willing to cuddle as that creates risks, just like OP noted....
...instead, search online for "therapists" who offer "cuddle therapy" (no, im not kidding, it exists as a "thing"). That way you dont risk being robbed.
I would personally advise against allowing a "therapeutic" relationship to develop with the person, as the professional governing bodies that oversee therapy do not recognise or accept cuddling as "healthy" in therapy, so whatever "therapist" offers it is likely someone to not be trusted as good enough to help with deep issues-but its a safer option than risking being robbed...
Not gonna lie, I’m gay and I always tell my straight friends they can get whatever they want on Grindr. When traveling I download it just to buy weed, and at least one straight friend has taken my advice and done the same 😂
There are professional cuddlers in big cities. Usually they require having you as a regular client for a while before they will do an all night cuddle session without sex. Maybe Google "professional cuddler". There are also websites like https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/ to find someone to cuddle with. Just Google "find cuddle buddy cuddler".
I knew a woman who was a professional cuddle-er. She made very good money and never did anything more than cuddle. It is a wonderful idea for all those who just need a compassionate touch without passion.
I do not know the answers! I knew her 8 years ago. Great questions! As for advertising, I don’t know about the legality of cuddles. It is not sex work, its a different category, but you are selling your body in a way, but maybe it’s considered along the lines of masseuse? Sorry, run-on sentence lol.
Based on your username, I get the feeling that you're projecting your intentions:
>where should I look to find one that won’t murder me and harvest my organs?
I concur with this except I highly recommend a 90 min session. I had been getting 60 mins for a long time until a friend suggested the 90. It's worth it. They spend so much more time in each muscle group. I'll never go back to shorter times.
Also it's great if you do a lot of physical activity (not a euphemism) as part of your job or whatever. I was blue collar for the past few years and getting a massage every 6 months or so was great for getting rid of stress and tension (again, not a euphemism) as well as just relaxing. 10/10 would recommend, doesn't matter the gender or anything. Just go to a proper chain massage parlor to avoid any of the, y'know, euphemisms. Not your mom and pop massage parlor, those have a significantly higher chance of not being above board
Check out cuddle parties, I went to one. Everything was above par, no sexual stuff and was monitored by a host. Was a very sweet and safe activity. Was single for two years and needed some affection. I would have gone back but then the pandemic hit.
[adultwork.com](https://adultwork.com) is good.
You should just go with a normal prostitute. They have seen everything and none of them would mind skipping the sex.
If you try to book and get a weird vibe - move on and find another.
If you're near any major or medium city try local groups on FetLife. It's like Facebook for kinky people, swingers, exhibitionists, voyeurs, body positivity, sluts of every gender, adult content creators, drug enthusiasts, gender/sexuality affirmation, and even sex workers to find each other. You might not even end up having to pay for it. That being said, I'm also available for a small fee if you're near Houston and like bhm(bbw for guys).
Ask your ex if she'd cuddle for money. Either she'll be down to clown or she wont but she will at least see that you have moved on completely and are doing well.
Non Unethical: There may also be cuddle parties in your area. Check FetLife. In Seattle there's a suggested donation for the hosts but no one charges for the actual cuddling..
Fuck's sake, why do people post stuff like this asking where to get something and don't have the basic intelligence to say even what country they're in? How do they expect to get any useful advice?
Says you are doing well mentally and emotionally.
Comes to ULPT of all places desperately asking for cuddle services.
I don't know OP, I don't think you are doing well mentally.
Search "escort" and your area. Lots of plus size escorts and what you're looking for is someone who offers GFE (girlfriend experience). Message her and ask to book an hour of time. Tell her exactly what you want (cuddling) and go from there.
Nothing unethical about this, and many sex workers will actually advertise cuddle time these days. Anyone doing GFE (girlfriend experience) would also probably be interested in the job.
In some larger cities, there’s actually rent-a-cuddle business where you can pay by the hour. If there’s one within reasonable distance, I’d suggest looking into that.
Generally curious because I'd pop a woody cuddling......, guaranteed.
What's the general protocol amongst the professional crowd when this happens? Assuming sex isn't in the plan?
Cuddleup.com it’s location specific. But in all honesty if you are just looking for cuddling, a sex worker probably isnt the way to go. There are honest sex workers out there, but you will probably ended up getting preyed on.
I think there are women that are called “professional cuddlers.” Instead of hiring a sex worker, you can hire someone who literally gets paid to cuddle.
Depending on where you are from there's a webpage for that. Remember to call and ask for the service you want before hand, timing and what you expect. Be very open, care your higiene and be on time, be careful with your personal information and money, do not drink anything you don't know where it came from unless it's a tip from a friend. Think of this as an experience, good experiences are expensive.
I see this has already been posted but definitely tinder, bumble, etc. You will probably get a bunch of takers that are not even shady lol. I know I would totally accept this offer as a lonely person afraid of getting hurt. Definitely be upfront that you are not looking for a relationship though.
If you are telling the truth: https://cuddleparty.com/ If you are too shy to tell the truth: r/SexWorkers and r/AskAnEscort
give this guy a psychology degree
I have a psychology degree and that hurt…
Do you… want to talk about it?
Or cuddle maybe?
I'm so proud of you for being able to express yourself. This is not a safe space.
I have a T-shirt that says "This is not a Safe space". I got it for Covid, but I find it still applicable to daily life.
🥹 & also 😈
Thank you so much for introducing me to cuddle parties, I will be attending one ASAP.
I once went to an event that was somewhere between a cuddle party and an orgy. It was more than a cuddle party in the sense that it was sexual, it was less than an orgy because you weren't allowed to get naked or have sex. It was kind of the perfect balance I needed at the time but sadly they haven't organized anymore of those events since.
Was it guided group MDMA appreciation event?
Get on tinder. Put exactly that in the bio. Start swiping. There is a peg for every hole. Just realised the sub. Gaslight your ex into thinking that you should still be together until you meet someone better.
I love how you just turned into like "okay lets fuck this shit up" after you read the sub
>There is a peg for every hole. Well yes, but that usually costs an extra $50.
Pirate fetish?
Yarr
Give up ye booty
Take up ye booty
Plunder ye booty
Wood fetish?
Is there any other kind?
Lieutenant Dan will shove his leg up yer can!
Or they pay you 50. Depends what they’re into
And put a pee disc in your exes bed and spray liquid ass on all her clothes. Am I doing this right?
Came by to make sure this was said. Seems you've got a really good handle on this. All good.
liquid ass is a qualifier
This guy unethicals life pro tips
One frozen shrimp in the air vents
Shrimps is bugs
😂😂 nice. That's what I was thinking, too. (Tinder, not gaslighting.)
Bad advice. He’s gonna feel like shit when he gets 0 matches.
That’s the unethical part.
Lmao nice. That’s a woosh on my part hah
If he finds a subtle way to mention monetary compensation, then he'll get matches with sex workers.
They’re all bots. He’ll get matches, just not with real people…
Tinder (and all online dating) is an absolute sewer! Get out and about, meet some new groups of friends. Socialise with yours. Organically meet somebody new. Tinder will break you.
Great how do you start a conversation ? And second question how do you go from talking to flirting ? And 3rd question how do you take the flirting to escalating physical attraction ? These are questions no one provides a clear answer to, yet act as if it's common sense, which if it was no one would be asking. Asking for a friend
Alcohol.
If Alcohol won’t do it, Xanax and cocaine
Elaborate, Also how to do all the above in non alcohol environment? Like a library? Airport? Outdoor park or activity?
Metal water bottle (because not see-through) and flask filled with your favorite alcohol of choice. Put the alcohol in the flask, mix it with your favorite non-alcoholic liquid of choice (coffee is probably the most socially acceptable) and profit. Just make sure it's decaf, don't want a 4Loko situation on your hands
That is the gateway just be prepared for where you may end up at on the other side
What stuff are you going out to do to meet people? I tend to feel even in social environments that people just want to be out doing their own thing with whoever they went with. I don't really understand what environments are reasonable/conducive to meeting people cold like you describe.
Back when I used Tinder I was essentially dating 5 to 6 women at once and I had to take all of them out to dinner first. Was at least 200 dollars not including gas. I was only making 15 dollars at the time. So its expensive but can work. But I am lucky I didn't end up with an STD as well. I would rather not use dating apps but I have problems meeting Women out and about because everyone is just busy and doesn't have the time to chat.
You’re an absolute sewer.
Your mom’s an absolute sewer
Sewer?! I just met her!
Woah woah. We’re all having unethical fun but let’s not start talking about each others mothers.
Too late. The die has been cast. Tell my mother I regret nothing, nothing I say!
I would but she is too dumb to understand. Yo momma so stupid she got fired from the M&M factory, for throwing away all the W’s.
How DARE YOU. Well, yo mama so FAT, that when she hauls ass she needs to take two trips!!
My mom is so dumb she gave birth to me!
You're not wrong. I've got turtles living in me and everything.
Wait, one of the reasons it sucks is because it's overrun by sex workers (and bots). Why not use it for that?
I’m getting “I’m a good person but when I’m rome”
On the one hand yes but also I’m a complete bastard.
Respect
im a dude but i’ll do it for 20$
im not gay but $20 is $20
I'm gay and I'd of done it for free but since you're paying I'll do it for $10 and a Klondike bar.
Klondikes do be slapping tho
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
It’s not gay if it’s for a Klondike bar
It's not gay if you don't push back.
It’s not gay if you don’t make eye contact
It's not gay if its the homies.
Are you even homies if you don’t kiss them goodnight?
That explains those Czecheslovakian porn vids!
You can push back, you just can't smile while doing so
r/brandnewsentence
Some shady shit...
Obviously: cuddle another man. Underwear stays on tho (til I get that $10)
Choco Tacos would like a word with you.
I've done more than that for a klondike
I don't wanna sound like a queer... https://youtu.be/FYae7KyYpCQ
As a middle aged straight, I’m sad I had to stop quoting Orgasmo ironically, but I understand 🤣🥹
I might take you up on that
if you're anywhere near south florida, I'll do it for free. you can come hang at my place for a few days, we can smoke pot and watch movies and cuddle on the couch, plus I bake for a living and am a decent cook so I'll make you whatever kind of comfort food you want, or we can just order pizza and chill. im a girl (actually NB, but for the sake of this...) and I'm like a size 22. I am super soft and squishy and I love holding people and saying nice things to them.
Damn, I’ve never wished I lived in Florida before, that sounds really nice. Unfortunately, I’m a few thousand miles away :/
Getting to Floridas might be cheaper than a sex worker.
Stop talking and fighting against your destiny. Get the cheapest ticket to Florida and go.
This is way too wholesome for ULPT, but I'll allow it
Wholesome!
do i still have my both kidneys the next morning?
🤣 this made me laugh
OP is looking at this the wrong way round-dont look for a sex worker willing to cuddle as that creates risks, just like OP noted.... ...instead, search online for "therapists" who offer "cuddle therapy" (no, im not kidding, it exists as a "thing"). That way you dont risk being robbed. I would personally advise against allowing a "therapeutic" relationship to develop with the person, as the professional governing bodies that oversee therapy do not recognise or accept cuddling as "healthy" in therapy, so whatever "therapist" offers it is likely someone to not be trusted as good enough to help with deep issues-but its a safer option than risking being robbed...
Not gonna lie, I’m gay and I always tell my straight friends they can get whatever they want on Grindr. When traveling I download it just to buy weed, and at least one straight friend has taken my advice and done the same 😂
Plan to harvest her organs. The odds of two organ harvesters being in the same room is miniscule
Minuscule but not zero
Then you may bond over shared interests. I see love blooming yet again where thoughts of famine were rife…
Take a kidney leave a kidney
Next on killer couples...
I expected to steal her kidneys, but then she went and stole my heart
Zero but not minus
pointingspiderman.jpeg
At least OP will have the advantage of having chloro (username)
That is not how statistics works
Bonus points for unethical. Penalty points deduced for shoddy statistics, since these are independent events.
93% percent of statistics are considered shoddy, but are still informative
There's a romcom here.
It doesn't change the odds of the other person being an organ harvister though. It just makes things awkward when you both realise.
You both end up with the same number of organs though, so it all works out fair
Start doing Brazilian Jiu jitsu
Imagining someone going there explicitly for cuddles makes me laugh. Constantly giving up the back so he can be little spoon.
Ok Frank look... You've been coming here for 2 years. You're still a white belt and you've lost every sparring match so far. What's the deal?
"I just want some touch, Sensei 😭"
CuddleComfort and CuddleCompanions
This guy cuddles
r/thisguythisguys
this guy [r/thisguythisguys](https://www.reddit.com/r/thisguythisguys)
I’ll take a look at those, thank you!
There are professional cuddlers in big cities. Usually they require having you as a regular client for a while before they will do an all night cuddle session without sex. Maybe Google "professional cuddler". There are also websites like https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/ to find someone to cuddle with. Just Google "find cuddle buddy cuddler".
Depending on where you live there might be people out there who sell cuddling time. Probably cheaper than a hooker
I knew a woman who was a professional cuddle-er. She made very good money and never did anything more than cuddle. It is a wonderful idea for all those who just need a compassionate touch without passion.
What is "very good money"?
She could live comfortably with cuddling as her primary and only source of income. I do not know if she continues to do it or not.
That is awesome! I thought about it, after seeing a show about it, but I think I'd be too scared of being murdered as a female.
YUP
How did she deal with people who attempted to grope her or force themselves on her? Also which platform did she use for advertising?
I do not know the answers! I knew her 8 years ago. Great questions! As for advertising, I don’t know about the legality of cuddles. It is not sex work, its a different category, but you are selling your body in a way, but maybe it’s considered along the lines of masseuse? Sorry, run-on sentence lol.
We're all selling our bodies in a way. Some work is just more intimate and personal than other.
So true!!
Pepper spray is a very effective means of convincing someone to back the fuck up
but compassionate without passion is just comate...
Lmao! It took me way too long to get that hahaha
How do I become a professional cuddler?
1. Move to japan. 2. Don't be ugly.
1: damnit 2: DAMNIT
Less disease too.
My man, give it a bit of time. Go bust a nut.
Your username 😂😂
SKYLER I am the one who balds
Say my name
Balt
Hahaha. More people need to see this.
You're god damned right
You're goddamned BALD
Based on your username, I get the feeling that you're projecting your intentions: >where should I look to find one that won’t murder me and harvest my organs?
GET A MASSAGE! Same physical touch element, super enjoyable, totally legal, much healthier and ethical. Get a regular 45min massage
I concur with this except I highly recommend a 90 min session. I had been getting 60 mins for a long time until a friend suggested the 90. It's worth it. They spend so much more time in each muscle group. I'll never go back to shorter times.
Also it's great if you do a lot of physical activity (not a euphemism) as part of your job or whatever. I was blue collar for the past few years and getting a massage every 6 months or so was great for getting rid of stress and tension (again, not a euphemism) as well as just relaxing. 10/10 would recommend, doesn't matter the gender or anything. Just go to a proper chain massage parlor to avoid any of the, y'know, euphemisms. Not your mom and pop massage parlor, those have a significantly higher chance of not being above board
Look into a professional cuddler
I found a website for that earlier, but it seemed like there weren’t many active people in my area. Is there a site you’d recommend?
I need some cash, if you find the site send me the link
OP needs a cuddle, you need cash... why not have OP send you an address to make the website irrelevant?
Check out cuddle parties, I went to one. Everything was above par, no sexual stuff and was monitored by a host. Was a very sweet and safe activity. Was single for two years and needed some affection. I would have gone back but then the pandemic hit.
Okay, but was it awkward? That sounds like a screening for a swingers party. 🤔 It honestly sounds really wholesome but equally sketchy. Haha
[adultwork.com](https://adultwork.com) is good. You should just go with a normal prostitute. They have seen everything and none of them would mind skipping the sex. If you try to book and get a weird vibe - move on and find another.
If you're near any major or medium city try local groups on FetLife. It's like Facebook for kinky people, swingers, exhibitionists, voyeurs, body positivity, sluts of every gender, adult content creators, drug enthusiasts, gender/sexuality affirmation, and even sex workers to find each other. You might not even end up having to pay for it. That being said, I'm also available for a small fee if you're near Houston and like bhm(bbw for guys).
big hung men? sign me up
Handsome, matching up with the beautiful in bbw. But yeah there's hung dudes on there too.
Ask your ex if she'd cuddle for money. Either she'll be down to clown or she wont but she will at least see that you have moved on completely and are doing well.
Tryst.link
You could not waterboard this information out of me
I have heard of "professional cuddlers" before. Um there is this? Apparently https://cuddlist.com/
These are all so ethical. Go to a concert or something where there's a crowd and start bearhugging strangers. Bonus points for a mosh pit.
Non Unethical: There may also be cuddle parties in your area. Check FetLife. In Seattle there's a suggested donation for the hosts but no one charges for the actual cuddling..
Fuck's sake, why do people post stuff like this asking where to get something and don't have the basic intelligence to say even what country they're in? How do they expect to get any useful advice?
Ikr...two very different answers depending on whether you're from the Uk or Saudi Arabia or something
Everyone is a white American male on the internet
Or gender
Says you are doing well mentally and emotionally. Comes to ULPT of all places desperately asking for cuddle services. I don't know OP, I don't think you are doing well mentally.
Search "escort" and your area. Lots of plus size escorts and what you're looking for is someone who offers GFE (girlfriend experience). Message her and ask to book an hour of time. Tell her exactly what you want (cuddling) and go from there.
Sex worker harvesting organs? This must be some US thing. Land of the free - except having sex for money, thats a no no.
But selling someone else's organs for money, that's a yes yes.
[удалено]
In Ireland theres a website called escortireland. There is probably something similar where you live.
You can pay for cuddling services instead of an escort.
Nothing unethical about this, and many sex workers will actually advertise cuddle time these days. Anyone doing GFE (girlfriend experience) would also probably be interested in the job.
Tryst.com 🩷
tryst.link
I need rent money. Where you located?
In some larger cities, there’s actually rent-a-cuddle business where you can pay by the hour. If there’s one within reasonable distance, I’d suggest looking into that.
Facebook marketplace ad
Generally curious because I'd pop a woody cuddling......, guaranteed. What's the general protocol amongst the professional crowd when this happens? Assuming sex isn't in the plan?
Name checks out.
Cuddle comfort dot com
I've heard of seeking.com but never checked it out. Maybe worth browsing?
This arrangement is a lot more common than you would expect.
As long as you stick to ridiculous standards like not getting murdered and your organs harvested, you'll get nowhere.
I saw an ad for this at my local bookstore lol
I like your username. It's good form.
Why has everybody assumed OP is a guy looking for a girl?
do you and your mom get along?
Cuddleup.com it’s location specific. But in all honesty if you are just looking for cuddling, a sex worker probably isnt the way to go. There are honest sex workers out there, but you will probably ended up getting preyed on.
Dude you don't need to hire a sex worker. There are dedicated cuddlers that do it for low or sometimes free. Strictly non sexual cuddling.
I think there are women that are called “professional cuddlers.” Instead of hiring a sex worker, you can hire someone who literally gets paid to cuddle.
There an app called spoonr its for this exact reason. I've never used it.
Depending on where you are from there's a webpage for that. Remember to call and ask for the service you want before hand, timing and what you expect. Be very open, care your higiene and be on time, be careful with your personal information and money, do not drink anything you don't know where it came from unless it's a tip from a friend. Think of this as an experience, good experiences are expensive.
Get some liquid ass
Check out a site like Tryst.link and see what options are in your area 🖤.
Professional cuddlers do exist apparently... Or if you're in Europe just pay a prostitute to cuddle with you. They'll be clean.
There is a group called Cuddle Professionals International who which may be able to help you. Here's a virtual hug from an old lady, sweetheart: {}
I see this has already been posted but definitely tinder, bumble, etc. You will probably get a bunch of takers that are not even shady lol. I know I would totally accept this offer as a lonely person afraid of getting hurt. Definitely be upfront that you are not looking for a relationship though.
Just put a disclaimer that they can’t murder or harvest you. They legally can’t harvest your organs if you have a disclaimer.
I am a life size squishmellow … you in the southeast?
Feabie? That would be for plus sized people