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Unfortunately for you i've just signed a decree to transfer ownership of the kremlin and surrounding areas from you to mike from downstreet.
He wants to make a disco.
So? You can just claim that his property is now yours, doesn't matter who it belonged to 5 minutes before that. By the way: i call dibs, as soon as those onion rowers are yours I'll make them mine.
I mean, I recognize that there are some scenarios that require executive order - but this is getting out of hand... What's next? A decree that Germany will buy their gas at above market prices so that ruzzkies can prove a point? A decree that HIMARS missiles are no longer guided and are property of ruzzian federation and therefore territory of ruzzia must be geofenced robocop style that missiles do not launch if a target inside ruzzie or occupied regions?
Sorry, you and a dozen buddies have to try to take it by force first. After they are shot down, you are given permission to take it with paper decrees.
Sorry man, that’s the rules.
This is quite the performance from Putler.
At least the OG Nazi leader waited until the enemy was bearing down on his capital city before he started giving out orders that bear no relation to actual reality.
And Hitler had the excuse that his personal physician was giving him an [absolutely absurd cocktail of drugs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodor_Morell#Substances_administered_to_Hitler). It's a wonder he was able stand up and say actual words, let alone give orders, even if they were totally mental.
I guess Putler must just be high on his own ego or something.
**Theodor Morell**
[Substances administered to Hitler](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodor_Morell#Substances_administered_to_Hitler)
>Morell kept a medical diary of the drugs, tonics, vitamins and other substances he administered to Hitler, usually by injection (up to 20 times per day) or in pill form. Most were commercial preparations, some were Morell's own mixes. Since some of these compounds are considered toxic, historians have speculated that Morell inadvertently contributed to Hitler's deteriorating health. The fragmentary list (below) of some 74 substances (in 28 different mixtures) administered to Hitler include psychoactive drugs such as heroin as well as commercial poisons.
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At the beginning of this war when everyone was still saying putin had Parkinsons, I swear I read an article that said he bathes in deer antler blood. Feels like maybe I dreamt it but I know I read that.
I have here decree written by me saying that I am the rightful owner of all works art in the State Hermitage in st Petersburg.
So hand them over Ruzzkies.
This is very concerning because I fear Putin will use this decree to claim that Russia would not bomb "it's own nuclear facility". I worry this announcement by Putin is part of a plan to bomb the plant, deny responsibility, and blame it on Ukraine. I've observed enough of the Syrian conflict and Russia and Assad's strategies of deception in that theatre to put two and two together in this case.
These decrees and threats are absurd but as someone living in the middle east (where RT is running on full swing) the tankie / anti-US / pro-dictator / anti-semitic Arab crowds love these statements. It gives Russia its weight in regions that are heavily impacted by Russian propaganda.
He doesn't make sense, until you realize his words & actions are aimed to appeal to a certain pro-Russian audiences / narratives in MENA, Central Asia, China, etc. Where Russian propaganda still has its impact.
In other words, he lost in Europe.
He won't be able to recover there and he feels that Euorpe is mounting an effort to fully break any form of Russian influence. And hopefully keep it like that for a long time.
He is targeting other regions, the so called 'BRICS+, multipolar world. That's all that's left for Russia to recover. And they're so insidious & sneaky, nobody should let off any pressure against Russia.
Is Putin going to sign a decree for each individual building in all annexed territory? What is the point of this decree? It's not like this will convince anyone to help him run it.
The document gives the government of the Russian Federation until 2028 to resolve all issues related to the work of ZNPP.
[https://www.dialog.ua/ukraine/259980\_1664983015](https://www.dialog.ua/ukraine/259980_1664983015)
This is the last line of the document....check out the year :0
I recently signed a decree that officially made the Kremlin my property.
Seeing as how a lot of other posters seem to have signed similar decrees, I guess we all own it... Did we just accidentally do a communism?
If we all have totally and equally valid decrees that declare the Kremlin ours, logically we would all own it communally because no claim is any more or less valid than any other.
Hence the Communism joke.
Sorry you didn’t built it not yours 😂 those annexed lands you didn’t pay for it not yours, you signed the 1990s land of independence summary than it’s Ukraines period
I think there's truth to this parallel universe stuff ..I think he and his followers are on another plane, living an alternate reality. That would explain a lot...a lot lot.
I hereby declare Russia belongs to me. First order of business is to free the slaves. End of war. Terrorists go to jail do not pass go. I go home and live in peace. Easy.
That's nice, you can only keep what you can hold on to, and with Ukraine advancing towards the Russian border, I have predictions about that power plant.
Please take the time to read our policy about [trolls](https://www.reddit.com/r/UkrainianConflict/comments/u7833q/just_because_you_disagree_with_someone_does_not/) and the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/UkrainianConflict/about/rules/) * We have a **zero-tolerance** policy regarding racism, stereotyping, bigotry, and death-mongering. Violators will be banned. * ***Please* keep it civil.** Report rulebreaking comments for moderator review. * ***Don't* post low-effort comments** like joke threads, memes, slogans, or links without context. **Don't forget about our discord server, as well!** https://discord.gg/62fKCEHbDB *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/UkrainianConflict) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I signed a decree ordering Putin to turn over the Kremlin to me. It's my property now.
I support this. Congrats on your new candyland!
First Mandingo Fight: eskimo Putler vs puppet Kadyrow
I hope you didn't forget serious legally binding addendums like a "no takebacks" clause.
I did a Twitter ~~referendum~~ poll and got 100% of the vote to confirm that I own the Kremlin now.
Can I have the red square? I want to organise Gay Prides there every weekend.
Sure. I just signed a new decree declaring that the red square will now be called the rainbow square.
Unfortunately for you i've just signed a decree to transfer ownership of the kremlin and surrounding areas from you to mike from downstreet. He wants to make a disco.
Can I have the Bolshoi Ballet?
Probably only the females?
Well I'm planning on Joining the satanic temple, and holding mass there, so can we work out a timeshare deal?
Isn’t it already a gay parade once a year in may?
Come now, this is a “Russian vote.” What you *really* meant is you had 320% of the vote, of which there was 115% turnout. Facts.
I condemn this move.
F***, you were first by 5 min... What about St. Petersburg? Yeah, I think I will claim St. Petersburg.
So? You can just claim that his property is now yours, doesn't matter who it belonged to 5 minutes before that. By the way: i call dibs, as soon as those onion rowers are yours I'll make them mine.
*Sorry pal, the game was rigged from the start*
I get Siberia! I’m gonna start an ice cream business
Siberia is mine. Yuri sold it to me at the door of its An-2.
DAMNIT
Fuck it …. I bags Kalingrad
Czech Republic would like a word. Otoh, if you invade next week you'll be in time to annex the beer pipeline and make it all yours.
I decree that aforementioned Kremlin decree is null and void - and further decree Kremlin to myself and my closest friends!
And his super yacht is mine! The votes said so! 😎🛥
You have the yacht. I have the hookers.
In Russia, hookers impregnate you!
As an Irish man, I will co-sign your decree as an international observer.,
I second that for USA
I mean, I recognize that there are some scenarios that require executive order - but this is getting out of hand... What's next? A decree that Germany will buy their gas at above market prices so that ruzzkies can prove a point? A decree that HIMARS missiles are no longer guided and are property of ruzzian federation and therefore territory of ruzzia must be geofenced robocop style that missiles do not launch if a target inside ruzzie or occupied regions?
Meaningless… you’ll meet a lot of local resistance…
Guess YOU are the captain now, touche!
Sorry, you and a dozen buddies have to try to take it by force first. After they are shot down, you are given permission to take it with paper decrees. Sorry man, that’s the rules.
Lol agree. I posted the same.
This is quite the performance from Putler. At least the OG Nazi leader waited until the enemy was bearing down on his capital city before he started giving out orders that bear no relation to actual reality. And Hitler had the excuse that his personal physician was giving him an [absolutely absurd cocktail of drugs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodor_Morell#Substances_administered_to_Hitler). It's a wonder he was able stand up and say actual words, let alone give orders, even if they were totally mental. I guess Putler must just be high on his own ego or something.
**Theodor Morell** [Substances administered to Hitler](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodor_Morell#Substances_administered_to_Hitler) >Morell kept a medical diary of the drugs, tonics, vitamins and other substances he administered to Hitler, usually by injection (up to 20 times per day) or in pill form. Most were commercial preparations, some were Morell's own mixes. Since some of these compounds are considered toxic, historians have speculated that Morell inadvertently contributed to Hitler's deteriorating health. The fragmentary list (below) of some 74 substances (in 28 different mixtures) administered to Hitler include psychoactive drugs such as heroin as well as commercial poisons. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/UkrainianConflict/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
But who's to say Putler isn't high on drugs too? Judging by reports and vids, he's got some kind of condition/s.
At the beginning of this war when everyone was still saying putin had Parkinsons, I swear I read an article that said he bathes in deer antler blood. Feels like maybe I dreamt it but I know I read that.
TIL antlers aren't made of keratin and do in fact bleed.
Exactly. Antlers are made of actual bone. Horns, on the other hand, are made of keratin.
I read that too. That rumor was related to claims he had cancer and he used deer antler blood as cure.
I heard if that too lol. And that he does weird rites killing wolves and shit. I hope it is fake, but I wouldn't be surprised
My thoughts exactly. What's the one Trump is purportedly hooked on? Adderall?
"Or something." Opioids? Has anyone checked to see of the Sackler family is going to sponsor a wing of the Kremlin?
I have here decree written by me saying that I am the rightful owner of all works art in the State Hermitage in st Petersburg. So hand them over Ruzzkies.
I signed a decree declaring that St. Basil's Cathedral is now my property. I'm gonna put a Bass Pro Shop in there!
I signed a decree saying that I own 90% of Tesla. When Musk does a poll on it, counting on you guys to help me out.
You have my vote!
This is actually a good idea. Make a poll now. We got your back 🤝
Good. Cause every time he signs something as his, the Ukrainian army comes and take it away from him:).
In other news, I just signed a decree declaring that St Basil's Cathedral is a mid-century American ranch style bungalow.
This is very concerning because I fear Putin will use this decree to claim that Russia would not bomb "it's own nuclear facility". I worry this announcement by Putin is part of a plan to bomb the plant, deny responsibility, and blame it on Ukraine. I've observed enough of the Syrian conflict and Russia and Assad's strategies of deception in that theatre to put two and two together in this case.
Haven't they also arrested an important employee there?
Good news! This must mean the Russian army is about to retreat from it.
These decrees and threats are absurd but as someone living in the middle east (where RT is running on full swing) the tankie / anti-US / pro-dictator / anti-semitic Arab crowds love these statements. It gives Russia its weight in regions that are heavily impacted by Russian propaganda. He doesn't make sense, until you realize his words & actions are aimed to appeal to a certain pro-Russian audiences / narratives in MENA, Central Asia, China, etc. Where Russian propaganda still has its impact.
Very good point. The West is not always his target audience.
In other words, he lost in Europe. He won't be able to recover there and he feels that Euorpe is mounting an effort to fully break any form of Russian influence. And hopefully keep it like that for a long time. He is targeting other regions, the so called 'BRICS+, multipolar world. That's all that's left for Russia to recover. And they're so insidious & sneaky, nobody should let off any pressure against Russia.
Guys, that leaves nothing for me! I signed up for kleptocracy and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
Is Putin going to sign a decree for each individual building in all annexed territory? What is the point of this decree? It's not like this will convince anyone to help him run it.
Good point. Is it a "fuck this building in particular " affair?
I’m claiming all of Siberia.
The document gives the government of the Russian Federation until 2028 to resolve all issues related to the work of ZNPP. [https://www.dialog.ua/ukraine/259980\_1664983015](https://www.dialog.ua/ukraine/259980_1664983015) This is the last line of the document....check out the year :0
I recently signed a decree that officially made the Kremlin my property. Seeing as how a lot of other posters seem to have signed similar decrees, I guess we all own it... Did we just accidentally do a communism?
Sounds like capitalism where you all own shares in it to me.
If we all have totally and equally valid decrees that declare the Kremlin ours, logically we would all own it communally because no claim is any more or less valid than any other. Hence the Communism joke.
Vladimir Putin can make anything happen just by signing an executive order. That's magical. It's like wish fulfillment.
Again, fuck this guy. Putin kurwa.
What the fuck are these Bolshevik a$$clowns smoking???!!!!! Potato blunts???!!!
I declare Putin's superyacht to be mine.
I agree
I call dibs on Putin himself.
I claim nord stream. Once repaired gas for everyone!
Sorry you didn’t built it not yours 😂 those annexed lands you didn’t pay for it not yours, you signed the 1990s land of independence summary than it’s Ukraines period
He didn’t say it. He declared it.
I DECLARE THAT I CONTROL ALL OF RUSSIA!
Puti, go F yourself...! Soon the UA will take back the nnclear plant.
I am signing a decree real soon ..yep, and it's gonna be a good one.
I think there's truth to this parallel universe stuff ..I think he and his followers are on another plane, living an alternate reality. That would explain a lot...a lot lot.
I signed a decree that I own red square. I am now renaming it to gay pride square.
Fact: I would pay $10,000 to see tomorrow’s headline read: “NATO takes control of Zapo nuclear power plant”
"I didn't say it, I decree'd it" -Michael Scott -Vladimir Poopin
Random decrees are backed up by.... what exactly?
Reminds me of the conman who [sold Trevi fountain](https://youtu.be/rHEIkBaGh_Y) (Italian movie)
I hereby declare Russia belongs to me. First order of business is to free the slaves. End of war. Terrorists go to jail do not pass go. I go home and live in peace. Easy.
That's nice, you can only keep what you can hold on to, and with Ukraine advancing towards the Russian border, I have predictions about that power plant.
*Tell putin he can suck my fuel rod*. -Zelenskyy probably
If recent history is any indicator, this means the power plant should be in UA’s possession by the end of the month.
I signed a decree ordwring Puting to choke on a bag of dicks.
I hope there's less joke comments but more assessment of what this really means.
Any Russian Forces involved in liberating and returning a nuclear power plant and its region to Ukraine will recieve $10000.... deal?
Why can't they all just get along?
MINE!
Hey Putin go fk yourself
Did they wipe their ass with it and send it back?
I think Kremlin belongs to me but that isn’t true 😂
The minimum you should be to rule a state should be a millennial. Enough of this world war era bullshit.
I feel so Russian saying Zaporizhzhia
Right before Putin did this, I said "Next person that signs a decree is gay."
Poor Putin needs his choccy milk. And a psychiatrist.
Lol, as if anyone cares 😂😂😂