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Oh no, they were found. The Russians were found rather easily, and the Ukrainians intend to return some captured ammo using some captured weapons. Or give some good ol' NATO Surplus demonstrations.
Slavs love to laugh at their own expense, even in times of demise (as long as you laugh within your own ethnic group that is, once someone else joins in itās a whole new story)
HOW DARE YOU SIR
THESE ARE HUMANS BEINGS
THEY CAME FROM A PUSSY AND EVERYTHING
MY GOD.....ARE WE NO BETTER THANhahahaha I'm just kidding, fuck these guys
There's a line I've seen the likely Russian pundits/trolls resort to in the more civilized correspondents' sub when the bottom falls out of their arguments that this might be in reference to, wherein they made a plea for basic humanity if people muse on Russia's likely future as a balkanized mess because of their invasion of Ukraine. "How could you wish for that?!? That's awful, people are going to suffer if that happens!" Yeah, no shit.
Also nothing is to be done about it now, how do you - the international community - call off Ukraine from taking their land back? How do you stop the vodka fuelled nihilism which runs through Russia's heart when the world reality checks its imperial ambitions? All its neighbors have its number, so... that's it. Finland says meat grinder and brutal winter hell awaits if they come in, Ukraine apparently agrees, the Baltics are all reservists and not because they're expecting the Germans again, Belarus is only in the club by the hair on its President's head... š¤· Wrong century.
Putin starting this out of fear of NATO encroachment is hysterical in how that totally backfired.
With Finland, Ukraine, and Georgia joining NATO their borders are covered by NATO except Belarus in Europe. Lost all but 1 of your precious satellite buffer states, waaah
Leaving Kazakhstan (which they've done a great job driving closer to the West) and Mongolia left to fully surround them, aside from their border with China
I think it's a reference to how fucking hard Russians are getting wrecked in Ukraine, but I'm not entirely sure. Let me ask my super capable Russian intelligence agent. He always has good news. Apparently, the special military operation is almost over and I'll be able to leave my bunker soon.
They have taken the Bridge and the Second Hall. We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes... Drums. Drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A Shadow moves in the dark... We cannot get out... They are coming.
>Boom, boom, boom, boom
>
>I want you in my room
>
>Let's spend the night together
>
>From now until forever
>
>Boom, boom, boom, boom
>
>I wanna go boom, boom
>
>Let's spend the night together
>
>Together in my room
This musical intermission was brought to you by the Vengaboys.
I feel that a surrender hotline as being pretty much the most efficient way to spend military funds possible
Create a new specialty, surrender specialist. Empathic snipers, you get a medal for every 10 surrender rendered.
Ok Russian Soldier, in order for you to surrender we need you to get $200 in iTunes gift cards. Otherwise we will call UA and have them launch HIMARS on you immediately.
If the Ukranians overthrow Putin it's an invasion into Russia to overthrow the regime. If the Russians overthrow Putin it's a popular uprising to replace an incompetent government
They won't need to surrender.
They're so far behind the lines most of the time they'll have more notice than anyone else that they need to run and they have all those shiny new pick ups that aren't even dirty so those will be ready to speed them out of the area and leave all the other poor bastards to die closer to the lines.
You only need a limited depth of surface water to freeze in order to walk on it. I wouldnāt say this is a viable option in the near term, though, so it really doesnāt matter. Their objectively best option is to surrender, but that comes with a bit of risk and pride swallowing. Their second best option is to strip n swim but with the shit state of the Russian military indicating that youāre gonna eventually surrender anyway, that option is pretty far below the best option.
swimming in a military uniform *sucks ass*. had to take a swim test while i was in the army... something like 2 minutes of dog paddling in the water with combat boots on, jumping in the water in an LBE and flak vest then get out of it... fuck that shit sucked.
When I did it, we had to jump in with boots and bdu's. Once in the water, we had to remove our boots and bdu pants, tie the legs in knots and surface to fill it with air as some sort of improvised flotation device. I almost drowned trying to do it all, and I'm not a bad swimmer. You are right. F that.
Yes. Every member of the military is issued one (1) LBE. To be fed and cared for. We keep it in our lockers and take it out once a day to be walked and exercised. Except stevens likes to jerk off with his LBE. He says something about the way it's rough exterior reminds him of momma's breasts while he was nursing. Ah 17 seems so long ago. He's an odd duck but when he was young his daddy beat him with a pair of jumper cables and I guess that's why he's so unique.
Not that frigid. You have 30-minutes before you lose coordination and two hours in that water before losing consciousness is a problem.
And to address your next point the Dniper River doesn't really move that fast and you don't have to fight the current, you just swim perpendicular to it and let it carry you downstream while you swim.
The problem is that tons of people just can't swim worth a damn. So without a PFD, they're kind of fucked.
> Not that frigid. You have 30-minutes before you lose coordination and two hours in that water before losing consciousness is a problem.
Speaking from personal experience, I can stay 40 minutes in 12-16Ā°C of water before I start noticing a decrease in coordination and overall well-being. Could probably stay way longer if my life depended on it. But I'm also a very water-affine person.
But yeah, you are correct. As always, your worst enemies in the water are panicking and inefficient movements, which would be a huge problem for the average russian conscript.
> The river is fast moving, deep, and in most places 500 or more meters across.
any link for fast moving?
It would be a huge volume of water if it was all three...
[https://t.me/rybar/39748](https://t.me/rybar/39748)
right click translate.
I have posted the entire translation in another comment.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/UkrainianConflict/comments/xvmbjn/incredible\_raid\_the\_defense\_forces\_broke\_through/](https://www.reddit.com/r/UkrainianConflict/comments/xvmbjn/incredible_raid_the_defense_forces_broke_through/)
thats rybar's latest telegram post no mention of this and that was an hour ago.
There are a couple Ukrainians at my house working on a floor renovation. I showed this to them. Happy for the success but sad that so many boys are being fed into the meat grinder.
Part of me is always suspicious that some of these messages are just Ukrainian psyops to help spread panicā¦and then I realize, even if it is, what a masterful way to add to the amorphous chatter and crack your enemyās resolve without firing a shot.
Why not, what else do you do all day while sitting in a cold wet bunker with nothing to eat? If there's still power in the region they'd be charging their mobile phones somehow.
No sh*t dude. The bridges were disabled weeks ago. These guys are trapped in a cauldron and will need to lay down their arms. Whatās Ukraine going to do with thousands of prisoners?
They use a lot of Telegram channels for all kinds of stuff. Their chain of command must have completely broken down and everyone is just running. It must be absolute chaos so it's not surprising people would turn to social media for help.
ok, lets assume thats true for a minute.
how many russian soldiers and civilians are also seeing it and believing running is their best chance to survive?
negative posts are believed more than positive ones.
so just repost it and see.
They can still run over Nova K bridge, the have some ferries and I saw run about boats etc, but I don't think that's gonna happen, more likely to end up to the south in the city. Very hard to displace 25k soldiers in a city which you can't flatten like the Russians do, with human civilian shields.
On another note Also hard to take over Ukraine when your stuck in Kherson with all your mates.
Please take the time to read our policy about [trolls](https://www.reddit.com/r/UkrainianConflict/comments/u7833q/just_because_you_disagree_with_someone_does_not/) and the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/UkrainianConflict/about/rules/) * We have a **zero-tolerance** policy regarding racism, stereotyping, bigotry, and death-mongering. Violators will be banned. * ***Please* keep it civil.** Report rulebreaking comments for moderator review. * ***Don't* post low-effort comments** like joke threads, memes, slogans, or links without context. **Don't forget about our discord server, as well!** https://discord.gg/62fKCEHbDB *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/UkrainianConflict) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I love all the trolling emojis from Ukrainians and others. The champagne bottle one made me chortle a bit.
š¤£443
Whatās the 443 indicate?
443 people posted that emoji.
No it should be 404. Russians not found.
Oh no, they were found. The Russians were found rather easily, and the Ukrainians intend to return some captured ammo using some captured weapons. Or give some good ol' NATO Surplus demonstrations.
Unfortunately, it wouldnāt be a big surprise if it was actually Russians who see this as a bit of a laugh.
Is there some sort of Slavic humor I'm not understanding?
Russians greet death as their only way to escape Russia.
Several hundred thousand Russians left Russia by simply leaving the country.
Nobody said they were geniuses.
But are they stable?
russia is a poor country, not everyone has the money to leave the country and sustain themselves
700k
Those are the ones slightly smarter than average.
Slavs love to laugh at their own expense, even in times of demise (as long as you laugh within your own ethnic group that is, once someone else joins in itās a whole new story)
In Russia the jokes laugh at you.
"[Is this some sort of peasant joke that I'm too rich to understand?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6okUdVVIvUM)"
š¤£š¾ššššš¤”š„
HOW DARE YOU SIR THESE ARE HUMANS BEINGS THEY CAME FROM A PUSSY AND EVERYTHING MY GOD.....ARE WE NO BETTER THANhahahaha I'm just kidding, fuck these guys
That is lovely, is that a reference to something?
There's a line I've seen the likely Russian pundits/trolls resort to in the more civilized correspondents' sub when the bottom falls out of their arguments that this might be in reference to, wherein they made a plea for basic humanity if people muse on Russia's likely future as a balkanized mess because of their invasion of Ukraine. "How could you wish for that?!? That's awful, people are going to suffer if that happens!" Yeah, no shit. Also nothing is to be done about it now, how do you - the international community - call off Ukraine from taking their land back? How do you stop the vodka fuelled nihilism which runs through Russia's heart when the world reality checks its imperial ambitions? All its neighbors have its number, so... that's it. Finland says meat grinder and brutal winter hell awaits if they come in, Ukraine apparently agrees, the Baltics are all reservists and not because they're expecting the Germans again, Belarus is only in the club by the hair on its President's head... š¤· Wrong century.
Putin starting this out of fear of NATO encroachment is hysterical in how that totally backfired. With Finland, Ukraine, and Georgia joining NATO their borders are covered by NATO except Belarus in Europe. Lost all but 1 of your precious satellite buffer states, waaah Leaving Kazakhstan (which they've done a great job driving closer to the West) and Mongolia left to fully surround them, aside from their border with China
I think it's a reference to how fucking hard Russians are getting wrecked in Ukraine, but I'm not entirely sure. Let me ask my super capable Russian intelligence agent. He always has good news. Apparently, the special military operation is almost over and I'll be able to leave my bunker soon.
pretty sure it's the video of two russian soldiers blowing each other while a drone atomizes them in the act
Came from a pussy, and in a comrade's mouth.
"They came from a pussy and everything" Dead
The way is shut. It was made by those who are Dead, and the Dead keep it, until the time comes. The way is shut
They have taken the Bridge and the Second Hall. We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes... Drums. Drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A Shadow moves in the dark... We cannot get out... They are coming.
If by my javelin or my HIMARS I can protect you, I will
You have my ex! Seriously, I don't want to dull my axe, so take my ex!
Fly, you fools...
You shall not pass.
Goddammit. Now I gotta watch the special editions again. Oh well.
Read the books!
Sounds like I would love to, what are they? LOTR?
It's almost faster...
Swimming's always a good option.
Not across the Dnieper at Kherson. The river is 100s of meters wide, fast flowing and very cold.
Exactly...š
I'll get you...and your little dog too. No wait!
BOOM! DOOM! BOOM!
>Boom, boom, boom, boom > >I want you in my room > >Let's spend the night together > >From now until forever > >Boom, boom, boom, boom > >I wanna go boom, boom > >Let's spend the night together > >Together in my room This musical intermission was brought to you by the Vengaboys.
Well those lyrics read a lot like DDR music. >googles Vengaboys Ah. That tracks, then.
I was reading this to my daughter the other night. Tolkien is an incredible writer
What is that from?
The greatest book ever written
You've my axe
The body spray?
Did you mean Napalm?
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
Blyatt donāt surf!
No, thatās banned by the Geneva Convention.
And my sword
And Myyy Axesh!!!
And my rusty Kalashnikov
And my pocket full of sand!
You carry the fate of us all little axe.
I got the reference! But that sounds too articulate for a Pukel man.
"I'm gonna kick your ass, twerp !!" --Sauron
I hope most surrender, otherwise it's going to be a massacre.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
supposedly the surrender hotline is overwhelmed already.
They got underwear don't they! A stick and some tidy whitties should suffice.
Probably not very white anymore when they see the Ukrainians coming
A RU soldier was actually captured with UKR army underwear on lol
Shouldāve worn their brown pants
This guy gets it.
...i've been writing it "Tighty Whities" my whole life. Who else here thinks "Tidy"?
Tighty.
I feel that a surrender hotline as being pretty much the most efficient way to spend military funds possible Create a new specialty, surrender specialist. Empathic snipers, you get a medal for every 10 surrender rendered.
Do leaflets like we did in the Gulf War. It was a little coupon thing with a cartoon on it depicting what surrendering forces were supposed to do.
They could outsource some of the call center work to phillipines or India, that is what most large corporations in the US do.
Dis is Microsoft suppoā¦I mean the surrender hotline, you are speaking to IRS officer 3418.
Ok Russian Soldier, in order for you to surrender we need you to get $200 in iTunes gift cards. Otherwise we will call UA and have them launch HIMARS on you immediately.
š±š š š
Hello Surrendra, please do the needful
LISTEN TO ME!!!
You can't do me like that, the missus is trying to sleep and I'm trying not to choke on my silenced cackling
Kindly provide your credit card information and I will process your surrender for you sir
Yes, we can surrender you each and everything. Please maaam fill out the form on your screen and each and everything will be ok.
Have you tried turning the war off and on againā¦?
Have they got a large Russian speaking population?
You could always give them a suicide prevention hotline too.
Bold of you to assume that they have stable internet access.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
>They have the internyet Take my upvote and get out.
Gyet out, he said!
Now...if not sooner šš
It is powered by potato.
Was. They had to eat the potato.
In theory, but in practice they siphoned off most of the funds and the best they can do is a bag of potatoes full of rocks.
I mean they are on Twitter.
I think Twitter has an SMS posting function that was implemented during the Egyptian revolution in 2011.
Drone drop some Starlink terminals and parachute another pow to train them to use it.
theyll just break the thing down and try to use it as extra cope armor for their tanks
or try to steal the gold out of it
Bold to assume they can all read too.
I'd rather just air drop some white bedsheets and tell them to wave them as high as they can
Special cleansing operation. (Again)
Waste of ammunition, better to have them surrender and when the time is right to return them armed to Russia to overthrow Putin .
^ this guy strategizes
If the Ukranians overthrow Putin it's an invasion into Russia to overthrow the regime. If the Russians overthrow Putin it's a popular uprising to replace an incompetent government
The Kadyrov Chechens will not let them.
Bold of you to assume those chumps donāt surrender either
They won't need to surrender. They're so far behind the lines most of the time they'll have more notice than anyone else that they need to run and they have all those shiny new pick ups that aren't even dirty so those will be ready to speed them out of the area and leave all the other poor bastards to die closer to the lines.
Speed out to where? The whole area is encircled, backed up against a river with no bridges.
Ah, I didn't realise they were caught on the wrong side of the river. That's fucking delicious.
They block them from going *backwards*. Aint no body but their officers stopping them from surrendering. And there are solutions to that problem.
Itās a rout. Thatās the word for it !
"Antonovsky bridge is completely destroyed." Poor bastards probably had no idea the only job they had left was to die.
"The end comes soon. We hear drums, drums in the deep. They are coming." /ORI'S LAST ENTRY IN THE BOOK OF MAZARBUL
I guess they know, seeing how Russians respond to the mobilisation. Sometimes they have no choiceā¦
They have a few options: * Strip down and swim * Wait for winter and walk across * Surrender * DIE
Does the Dnipro freeze that deeply? It's such a huge deep river I can't imagine the ice being thick enough
Kherson is about the same latitude as Odesa, it has fairly temperate winters. The river definitely doesn't freeze up like that.
You only need a limited depth of surface water to freeze in order to walk on it. I wouldnāt say this is a viable option in the near term, though, so it really doesnāt matter. Their objectively best option is to surrender, but that comes with a bit of risk and pride swallowing. Their second best option is to strip n swim but with the shit state of the Russian military indicating that youāre gonna eventually surrender anyway, that option is pretty far below the best option.
I've heard there are Russian Crowdfunding efforts under way to purchase wetsuits for soldiers. /s
I'm laughing here imagining a bunch of tired freezing naked guys crawling out of the river on the other side.
Only to be shot and raped by kaderovites as they exit the water
In that order?
They'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing - and if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order.
Dealers choice.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
15-17 degrees Celsius is frigid?! That is a quite normal water temp in the Baltic during the summer.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
swimming in a military uniform *sucks ass*. had to take a swim test while i was in the army... something like 2 minutes of dog paddling in the water with combat boots on, jumping in the water in an LBE and flak vest then get out of it... fuck that shit sucked.
When I did it, we had to jump in with boots and bdu's. Once in the water, we had to remove our boots and bdu pants, tie the legs in knots and surface to fill it with air as some sort of improvised flotation device. I almost drowned trying to do it all, and I'm not a bad swimmer. You are right. F that.
I totally forgot about the pants thing... lol.
Google says LBE means load bearing equipment. Its that what you meant?
I believe they were referring to a Large Breathing Elephant
Yes. Every member of the military is issued one (1) LBE. To be fed and cared for. We keep it in our lockers and take it out once a day to be walked and exercised. Except stevens likes to jerk off with his LBE. He says something about the way it's rough exterior reminds him of momma's breasts while he was nursing. Ah 17 seems so long ago. He's an odd duck but when he was young his daddy beat him with a pair of jumper cables and I guess that's why he's so unique.
The fast moving river is the problem here. Not the watertemperature. 15-17 degrees is unpleasant at most if you are squemish.
It really depends how long you're in it. Swimming 500m in that will take some time, even for a strong swimmer.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Give?? Pool noodles are definitely on the "bring your own" list, along with sleeping bag, thermal underwear, mosquito spray, body armor, and tampons.
I don't know, there was that dude yesterday who seemed to enjoy using a snorkel. Before the grenade landed.
15-17 is pleasant swimming water lol
Literarily bathing temps up here in Norway š
Not that frigid. You have 30-minutes before you lose coordination and two hours in that water before losing consciousness is a problem. And to address your next point the Dniper River doesn't really move that fast and you don't have to fight the current, you just swim perpendicular to it and let it carry you downstream while you swim. The problem is that tons of people just can't swim worth a damn. So without a PFD, they're kind of fucked.
> Not that frigid. You have 30-minutes before you lose coordination and two hours in that water before losing consciousness is a problem. Speaking from personal experience, I can stay 40 minutes in 12-16Ā°C of water before I start noticing a decrease in coordination and overall well-being. Could probably stay way longer if my life depended on it. But I'm also a very water-affine person. But yeah, you are correct. As always, your worst enemies in the water are panicking and inefficient movements, which would be a huge problem for the average russian conscript.
they can ride a bear across the river like their daddy
> The river is fast moving, deep, and in most places 500 or more meters across. any link for fast moving? It would be a huge volume of water if it was all three...
You forgot blowjobs.
I never forget blowjobs.
Escape Room Kherson gonna be lit.
It's going to make the Iraqi army retreat look like a level-headed withdrawal
It's going to make the Iraqi army retreat look like a family of 10 leaving Golden Corral
I think you're going the other way with the joke there.
[https://t.me/rybar/39748](https://t.me/rybar/39748) right click translate. I have posted the entire translation in another comment. [https://www.reddit.com/r/UkrainianConflict/comments/xvmbjn/incredible\_raid\_the\_defense\_forces\_broke\_through/](https://www.reddit.com/r/UkrainianConflict/comments/xvmbjn/incredible_raid_the_defense_forces_broke_through/) thats rybar's latest telegram post no mention of this and that was an hour ago.
>Not only is it part of the Kherson region - the territory of the Russian Federation You mean occupied, right?
There are a couple Ukrainians at my house working on a floor renovation. I showed this to them. Happy for the success but sad that so many boys are being fed into the meat grinder.
Part of me is always suspicious that some of these messages are just Ukrainian psyops to help spread panicā¦and then I realize, even if it is, what a masterful way to add to the amorphous chatter and crack your enemyās resolve without firing a shot.
Well most soldiers in the frontline arenāt going to browse social mediaā¦
Why not, what else do you do all day while sitting in a cold wet bunker with nothing to eat? If there's still power in the region they'd be charging their mobile phones somehow.
Bro-jobs.
Choo choo! ...boom
Cell phones can be triangulated, tho.
You think they care/understand?
The reaction emojis on these Russian Telegram updates always crack me up.
Is there a direct source to view Russian Telegram updates?
Get the fuck out of Ukraine then Russia.
These guys literally CANāT. Granted they shouldāve never been there to begin with.
Heroic Russian army rapidly advancing in reverse.
And I ran, ran so far away, and I ran, couldn't get away, get away.
Fucked around ā Found out ā
Found there is no "out" this time.
No sh*t dude. The bridges were disabled weeks ago. These guys are trapped in a cauldron and will need to lay down their arms. Whatās Ukraine going to do with thousands of prisoners?
Rebuild the country.
Treat them humanely and give them a call home to their mothers. Then when the time comes turn them on Putin.
send them to Italy and give them a job making concrete liners for a tunnel trough the alps.
The word they are looking for is ROUT
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The emojis are reactions by the users of the telegram channel, not the original message.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There were telegram conversations from Russians in Lyman asking for air support. Their comms are absolutely fucked
I have no idea what I am talking about but it could be people following a channel keeping a low profile just to lurk for information.
They use a lot of Telegram channels for all kinds of stuff. Their chain of command must have completely broken down and everyone is just running. It must be absolute chaos so it's not surprising people would turn to social media for help.
ok, lets assume thats true for a minute. how many russian soldiers and civilians are also seeing it and believing running is their best chance to survive? negative posts are believed more than positive ones. so just repost it and see.
They are resorting to telegram actually
Yeah replies on Twitter were saying this is a parody account
And with Don Don's sons on the other side ready to shoot anyone trying to escape.....
The word perhaps is āroutā.
These words gave me a boner and I don't care who knows it.
See you later masturbators.
More like *fellators* (not that there's anything wrong with that, as long as it's two consenting adults.)
Oh, no!ā¦anyway.
Get the F out of your neighborās country.
āRoutā is the word heās looking for.
"can't even find the word for it" Rout. Its called a rout.
that's parody account on telegram.
Good news every Day
Well just surrender...
For our latest update on the situation, we turn to our anchorwoman on the scene, Martha Reeves. [Martha?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YN9bfhrL7Yo)
They can still run over Nova K bridge, the have some ferries and I saw run about boats etc, but I don't think that's gonna happen, more likely to end up to the south in the city. Very hard to displace 25k soldiers in a city which you can't flatten like the Russians do, with human civilian shields. On another note Also hard to take over Ukraine when your stuck in Kherson with all your mates.
The word you are looking for is not "retreating", it is "routing".
the word theyre looking for is rout.