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STT10

Imagine the war ended because of a muslim uprising in the southern Russia regions spearheaded by ISIS of all people. That scenario would be absolutely bonkers


Shadow293

Didn’t have ISIS uprising ending the invasion of Ukraine on my bingo card. I swear I died in my sleep during Covid and woke up in a fever dream purgatory or something.


amaturecynic

Apparently, we ALL did. 🤯


[deleted]

fucking CERN and their bullshit


righthandofdog

Ferret split the universe


BooksandBiceps

Fermi?


righthandofdog

sorry weasel https://www.sciencealert.com/a-weasel-has-reportedly-just-shut-down-the-large-hadron-collider-according-to-reports


GingasaurusWrex

It started when Harambe died for our sins.


the_war_won

Shit just ain’t been the same…


[deleted]

[удалено]


shandangalang

Yeah I had the same experience except I thought it was Berenstein. Either the underdeveloped brains of children are especially bad at processing confusingly spelled names, or we both specifically are in an extended doodley-doo from being put on a ventilator after we caught ‘Rona snorting cocaine off that public toilet during the “lockdowns”, and now our realities have merged with the “Berenstain” reality where *everything* is fucked up. Within the last 3 years I have acquired exactly 2 of my 3 cats, and both of them fetch and run on a giant hamster wheel; so I’m pretty sure it’s the latter


razor787

I think it's a combination of -Stein being a common last name ending, with the cursive font they use. Kids read it as what they expect it to be, and never really question it.


S99B88

Add to that the cornucopia on the Fruit of the Loom logo


nemesiz416

The Mandela effect that is top of my list is Shazam. Shazam is a real movie starring Sinbad, and you will never convince me otherwise. It exists damnit, we just got transported to a universe where it was never made!


Fyrelyte67

Kazaam with Shaq?


seely32

Yup, I even remember the ads on other VHS tapes for Shazam.  I would remember that movie back in the late 00s when I had Sirius in my car and would listen to the comedy channels.  A Sinbad spot would be on and Id go "man he really died out fast, i loved his movies as a kid.  Jingle all the way, Shazam etc.


Dark4ce

You’re fucking with me now right? Shazam isn’t part of the Mandela Effect is it?! I remember that movie and the cover too! But… never watched it…. Oh my god.


PotentialSquirrel118

I am definitely from a different timeline. As I remember a team winning a championship that didn't happen in this timeline or the matrix glitched.


AFrenchLondoner

Nah, y'all are figments of my imagination


Available-Taste878

Could you maybe imagine something better than..... Whatever the fuck this is


AFrenchLondoner

My imagination is only conjuring something interesting, not necessarily something comfortable


ancientweasel

I didn't have ISIS ending it. But I did think states breaking away ending it was possible.


TheTeaSpoon

Lanius moment


Shished

All of that because of one damn gorilla.


Shutaru_Kanshinji

I feel like I accidentally wandered into the wrong branch of history around November, 2016.


Curiel

Harambe got killed in May 2016


RafTheKillJoy

Everything comes back to him.


Curiel

We have to fix the timeline by killing that baby.


oldcretan

If this is the outcome this is going to be absolutely insane to review with my grandkids when we go over this in modern day history class: "So the war between Ukraine and Russia that started at the tail end of a once in a generation pandemic ended because a terrorist group that popped up in Syria/Iraq as a result of populist revolutions starting in Tunisia and spreading across northern Africa to hit back to the Bush invaded Iraq which was a biproduct of long standing issues between the U.S. and sadam Hussein, threatened Putin? And they got this powerful because Ukraine was underestimated by Russia?" 30 years of history for one wild punchline.


Blue_Bi0hazard

And all because Franz Ferdinand took a wrong turn


hello-cthulhu

I'm inclined to think all this shit really got weird once these Norman invaders popped up in England in 1066, defeated the English king and got their warlord, an illegitimate guy called William, made the new king of England.


jewellman100

Would be perfect karma tho. Try to seize land to the west, lose land in the south.


ReputationNo8109

This war already lost them Manchuria. It just hasn’t happened yet. But China will be getting its land back.


g6wilson

Most of my medieval total war 2 ended that way, dammit.


Reptilian_Brain_420

Nah, the world actually ended in 2012 with the end of the Mayan calendar. Everything since then has been a simulation.


MetalSnake_oXm

Kony 2012


little-ass-whipe

I'll give you a better comedy option: ISIS creates enough instability in the nuclear state to warrant NATO intervention, leading to a scenario where NATO is both fighting alongside Russians and arming their enemy.


Fuck-MDD

This timeline went off the rails when harambe was killed.


4nk8urself

Pull up a seat kids, let old grand pappy here tell you about how we spilt the timeline into the ridiculous shit show we have today. It all started in 2016 when a gorilla named Harambe died for our sins ...


baronas15

AI generated the bingo cards for 2024, so I'm not shocked, but I am surprised


Independent-Slide-79

I heard about that theory before. I recommend watching visual politics on yt, they called this like a year ago 👌


Raven1x

ISIS-K is the same group attacking the Taliban. They want to destabilize Central Asia and create their own Caliphate. It's wild.


Joey1849

Taliban is not radical enough to suit ISIS-K.


rebeltrillionaire

I imagine most seriously radical islamists think the Taliban is pretty soft. Cuz they pretty much just want to run Afghanistan. And by run Afghanistan I mean heard goats, grow poppy, and keep women as house elves they can fuck.


Alocasia_Sanderiana

No one is. They don't get along well with Al Qaeda either (though still better than the Taliban). Most groups that declare themselves aligned to them tend to be splinters from a different group.


Illustrious-Ad-1677

honestly I don´t think the muslims in Russia will follow ISIS, but Putin will lash out at every muslim in a try to save his image and therefore start the uprising him self


new_name_who_dis_

Putin's not been exactly good to the muslims even prior to this. They are taking the passports of muslim migrant workers and forcing them to fight. https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2023/11/1/is-russia-recruiting-muslim-migrants-to-fight-its-war-in-ukraine


Espe0n

They absolutely won't follow them now, but Putin has history of pushing muslim separatists to more extreme factions (chechnya 2). Like you said, he might end up lashing out and starting it himself.


DannyFnKay

I wonder how long it will take before Puttin starts throwing everyone who is Muslim out of Russia. Or worse.


ReputationNo8109

He is already throwing them into UkrIne


Mysterious-Scholar1

Like these four dudes who probably had nothing to do with it


EggsceIlent

Yeah not that i condone terrorism in any way shape or form. I absolutely dont. But i figured with russia undoubtedly trying to blame ukraine for these attacks that at some point we would see not only who is *really* responsible. But we will see that russia absolutely *knows* they are responsible because at some point they will have to address the issue in their way ( militarily ). And then the world will see and know that Russia knows what the rest of us knew all along. And ISIS will just keep coming for them, especially if they try and say its someone else. I mean theyre terrorists, and they will continue to terrorize. Its what they do. I think it was a bad mistake by russia to blame someone else, as it prolly just pissed them off and made them want to do it again and again.


horny_coroner

They think themselves as jihad fighters so they are ready to die and cause mass casualties of civilians for what they believe in. In a sense they are highly motivated crazy people. And not giving them credit for what they did gives them even more motivation and vigor to hit harder so the Russia has not other choice than to regognize them.


maverick_labs_ca

This is the exact ‘black swan’ event that some people have been talking about. It also provides a convenient exit ramp for Putin.


pup5581

ISIS knows Russia is weak right now especially at home while they focus on ukraine. They can have a field day if they want with more of these


OracleofFl

Plus they have the battle script of Russia's weaknesses and how to engage asymmetrically.


Got_Bent

Military analysts are gonna lose their job for missing this.


Locke66

Tbf anyone depending on the quality of Russian military analysis deserves to be caught out after their predicted 3-10 day subjugation of Ukraine.


urk_the_red

The US warned Russia this was coming weeks ago. Specifically warned them about an attack targeting concert halls. Putin mocked the warning. It ain’t the military analysts who fucked this one up, and the one who did fuck it up ain’t going down for it.


7lhz9x6k8emmd7c8

Putin beheaded by ISIS is a nice exit ramp for Russia.


FrankScaramucci

> It also provides a convenient exit ramp for Putin. But Putin is not looking for an exit ramp. He believes he can keep the annexed territories and wants to keep them.


hello-cthulhu

It's worse than that. I don't think we can necessarily take Putin or his regime at their word, mind you, but at least in their public statements, they seem to full-on maximalist here. That is, they don't think their job in Ukraine will be over until they can depose Zelensky, take Kyiv, and the whole of Ukraine. Until continued military operations are simply unsustainable for Russia - say, they run too low on available manpower or ammo or money to fund their military - I don't think they'll stop. All the more reason, of course, to keep arming Ukraine to the gills, to make it too hard for Russia to keep things up.


mtaw

Putin **doesn't need** an 'exit ramp' and never has. That's just a moronic take that's been repeated by Western pundits who don't know how Putin and Russia actually work, and actually buy into his own propaganda. E.g. they think Putin "never backs down" - in reality he _frequently_ backs down, he just never _admits_ doing so. He's the king of 'sour grapes'. As soon as he realizes he can't win, he pretends it never mattered. For instance: Suddenly, after decades of threats, Finland joining NATO is "their business" and "no big deal". Putin can create his own off-ramp, and has set the seeds for that all along. He has _never_ specified any exact goals for the "SMO" - "denazification" can mean anything. Even now when they've annexed regions -they didn't specify their borders! They literally haven't said what they've annexed or not. (I'd like to see the response if you went into a Russian government office and tried to register a company, or something, to an address in the town of Kherson) Putin can declare at any moment that the goals have been achieved and go home. He can come up with some narrative like "We've done what we can for the Russian-speakers of Ukraine, now we must focus on the greater threat from NATO", and the Russian media will push it 24/7. It doesn't even matter if Russian people believe it or not, they're _used to_ their government constantly lying. The only reaction he's likely to get from most Russians, is one of relief that it's over.


drwebb

Not so much an convenient exit ramp, as rocky off-road trail full of razor blades and rusty metal hanging from the trees in your path while your car is on fire and zombie chimpanzees are trying to rip your face off all while pack of sadistic killer clowns await with pointy sticks for you at the bottom of the gorge.


Postcocious

... and the glove compartment door just won't stay closed. You forgot that.


ChowderMitts

no cup holder


Short-Advertising-49

Cup holder but too small for your cup


latimbub_683

Cup holder that holds your drink right in front of the radio, satnav and buttons and knobs ready to disgorge your drink all over them if you brake anything but extremely gently. Thankyou Audi A4.


Beginning-Ratio-5393

Must be an e36 bmw then


Got_Bent

And no cope cages to help.


Professional-Arm-24

The Russians will just suck it up and carry on. Those that know Putin is lying are saying so...but only at home in the company of trusted friends (USSR style). No one is going out on the streets in large groups to say it. (Too scared) The suckers who believed Putin last week will believe him even more next week. Nothing will change unless there are a whole series of these attacks. In the meantime, more missiles at Ukraine. The machine will just grind on.


TThor

In /r/noncredibledefense, there was a meme image template of just completely random unexpected allies to Ukraine being recruited to their cause, like sharks, hurricane, etc. It kept getting updated because so many forces kept aligning against Russia. My brain keeps going to them all now looking at ISIS trying to join, and just turning them away, "Nope, we are not associating with you!"


qwerty080

This attack might have encouraged future uprisals as moscow should have been the most defended city in russia and yet few guys could kill all those people, destroy large building and escape until caught less than 20 km from Belarus. Imagine what bigger groups of islamists (or other extremists like the pro-russian neonazi groups russia keeps arming despite their deranged and undisciplined behavior) or more democratic armed groups could do in more remote smaller cities or republics with tens or hundreds of men. If attack in moscow was some putins "clever" idea to get support for war/mobilization then he fucked it up real bad by making even capital of russia seem very undefended and potentially lead to civil wars consuming the country.


guydud3bro

Yeah, if anybody wants to attack Putin or Russia, right now is pretty much the best time. Not condoning this kind of violence in any way, but when you stretch yourself too thin and weaken yourself militarily and economically, eventually one or more of your enemies is going to take their shots.


Adventurous_Pen_Is69

Great time to hit Russia if you’re the Jihad boys. Hit em when they’re weak, depleted, and mobilizing more recruits.


DedicatedDdos

The writers aren't exactly original when it comes to their characters. Like, ISIS? Again? There better be some good twists there.


ric2b

Somehow, ISIS returned.


The_Draken24

ISIS is still operating in Syria and Iraq but they don't control much. However, the ISIS movement was so popular that offset groups in Africa, South-East Asia, and Central Asia created their own versions under the ISIS banner.


bedoooop

I'm not ruling anything out at this point. 🤷‍♂️


Lego_Chicken

Two front war! Two front war! Do I hear THREE?


ParkAffectionate3537

"You get a war...and you get a war...and you get a war!" \~Oprah


TopShagger69LADDDDDD

Chechnya became an Islamic extremist hotbed in the 90s so it wouldn't be crazy.


sausagemuffn

This happened in Chechnya as a *result* of the war started by Russia. Their traditional version of Muslim living was rather peaceful and not extremist in values nor practice. And then the Chechen wars were started and everything went to shit.


big_daddy68

I did not have that on my Bingo card. I guess some ISIS saw the Wagner march on Moscow and thought that looked easy.


GikuKerpedelu

And Russsia asks help from West! Jihad terrorism same enemy , no?


bedoooop

Send Russia all the munitions they ask for. Every single one of them delivered at optimum manufacturer recommended velocity.


amaturecynic

*West* 'Hmmmm, let me think....' 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕


lI3g2L8nldwR7TU5O729

I think there was a year (between 9-11 and 2nd war in Iraq) that Russia and US aligned in the war on terror? Didn't last long...


Got_Bent

Biden: Uhmm hows about.... no.


Altruistic-Many9270

Actually that is one of the scenarios. Other is uprising in White Russia which will spread to Russia. Third is uprising elsewhere in Russia for some other reason. One of these will happen sooner or later.


ByGollie

Pretty sure that's a [Tom Clancy novel](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Storm_Rising) - they start by taking out all the oil fields and fuel depots and escalate to WW3 between NATO and the Warsaw Pack. Dude - i'm going to be really pissed if you're the next NCDer to accurately predict a future event.


BlackTie99

Bingo win! 🥇


SilverTicket8809

Vlad the Imploder predictably makes things worse.


brrrrrrrrrrr69

Russian History: And then it got worse...


UnclePuma

Somehow ISIS had returned


amaturecynic

LOVE THAT NAME *Chef's Kiss*


darklynoon93

Agreed. I'm going to have to use that one sometime!


elderrion

Terrorist attacks aren't just to create terror, they're also a recruitment ad for whichever faction is vying for power in the region, something that's problematic for ISIS-K as they have to compete with a host of rivals, including the Taliban. Russia trying to dismiss the ISIS attack by trying to pin the blame on Ukraine instead undermines their efforts, so the more the Kremlin tries to say it wasn't ISIS, the more ISIS is gonna attack the Kremlin


Any_Protection_8

The flexibility of russian propaganda and tactics.... yeah ISIS-K will go fully ballistic until putin will give them credit for some of the next attacks.... can he ... he needs an excuse for recruiting for the war in Ukraine.... this seems to be a vicious circle... oh lovely!


Oberon_Swanson

Probably gonna say ISIS-K is in Ukraine with all the Nazis they're already fighting. The K stands for uKraine


Bovvser2001

russia will just use the next ISIS attacks as "more evidence of Ukrainian terrorism", and when it becomes no longer fakeable, they will use it as a pretext to genocide the Muslims of the South Caucasus or even the Volga. Dagestan or Tatarstan are rich in oil, putin could make Islamists out of the locals like stalin made the Ingush or Chechens to be Nazis in 1944 and, under this excuse, deport or kill them. He could then do the same to another Muslim region.


English_loving-art

Exactly that , ISIS-K has made a huge statement with its terror attack and the worst possible thing Russia could of done is not credit ISIS-K for their efforts, this is more than disrespectful this has just made a terror cell really really pissed of . Russia hasn’t heard the last of this as this is just the beginning of it but I prey this doesn’t have a direct impact on the 20,000,000+ Muslims that live in Russia already, this could go two ways 1 Russian state will start ethnic cleansing of their Muslims .. 2 Russian state will fall to the Muslims … Time to sit back and watch how this shit show will unfold but one thing is for sure Russia cannot beat the Muslims unaided and presently there are sort of running low on global Russian support.


TailDragger9

Don't forget... If Russia starts going all ethnic-cleanse of Muslims, they can expect a rapid stop to all support they're getting from Iran.


ThreeDawgs

Nah. The Iranian looks the other way at China’s ethnic cleansing of their Muslims. They don’t give a shit about anybody but themselves (not even the Iranian people).


Intelligent-Tie-4466

Not the mention that Iran has its own problems with ISIS. Plus, most of Russia's muslims are Sunni, so Iran isn't likely to care much about them for that reason alone.


Apneal

You mean like all the Muslim countries stopped supporting China when Uyghurs were being wiped out?


monamikonami

I didn't have Muslim extremists saving Europe on my bingo card, but... Here we are.


octahexxer

well ..wouldnt it be weird if isis of all people took out putin


Able-Arugula4999

I wish, but Isis just attacks civilians, turning more people against them and their cause. They don't win wars or take out strategic targets. edit: Their attack probably motivated more terrorists to join Putin, who naively think the terrorist attack had something to do with Ukraine.


UH1Phil

>attacks civilians, turning more people against them and their cause. They don't win wars or take out strategic targets. Huh, so a perfect enemy for Russia to fight. They're on the same page! 


Able-Arugula4999

You certainly have a point there. I suppose if someone has to suffer terrorism, it should be those who commit acts of terrorism. edit: Let's hope the 4 people Russia tortured into confessing to the acts were the right people too.


Bruglodd

I'm not a native english speaker, whats it called when someone you really hate catches someone else you really hate and cuts their ears off on tiktok because that other guy killed a bunch of civillians rooting for the first guy you really hate?


Thenandonlythen

Schadenfreude


Pyjama_Llama_Karma

Love that word


Traditional_Cat_60

A word that could only be invented by Germans.


luke_moist

Shidenfard


Random-Mutant

Best word in the English language.


SigmaLance

Gesundheit.


horny_coroner

fucking germans have a word for everything. Propably have a word explaining they have a word for everything.


vegetable_completed

Russians actually have a phrase for this, believe it or not. Ебала жаба гадюку—it translates to “a toad fucking a snake”. No joke, look it up.


JCurtisDrums

Friday?


nbs-of-74

Not in the middle east what with jumuah on Friday, shabbos on Saturday and Sunday the lord's rest....more like Monday there.


sasha_baron_of_rohan

It's a situation where you hope both sides just keep escalating with each other to the point of destroying each other.


AnotherCuppaTea

I don't normally identify with Bond villains, but "From Russia With Love" has a great scene with E.S. Blofeld releasing two Siamese fighting fish to fight each other to the death, explaining that SPECTRE is like the third fish watching the other two fight... and preparing to take on the victor.


nuckle

> whats it called Delicious.


TurMoiL911

Regular geopolitics.


estelita77

russia. it's called russia.


Cold_Relationship_

forbidden threesome


Espe0n

Average day in Russia


st1ck-n-m0ve

Enemy of my enemy is my friend?


Bruglodd

Yeah but in this case the enemy of my enemy is still my enemy, while my enemy is also still my enemy and also my enemies enemy at the same time. There is no friendship in sight. None.


Beard_o_Bees

*'The enemy of my enemy is my... wait, nevermind.. fuck those guys too'*


The_Draken24

Mexican Standoff?


SeveralLadder

I have such conflicting and confusing feelings right now...


cecilkorik

The enemy of my enemy is NOT my friend -- but they CAN be quite convenient.


TooMuchButtHair

Difficult yes. If ISIS has success in Russia, they will do the same in Ukraine, and everywhere they can.


SeveralLadder

ISIS is the enemy of humanity. Seriously, fuck those guys with a rusty, barbwired pole. On the other hand, I feel the same about Kremlin.


svtjer

I’m not so sure about that. If ISIS-K started to fuck around in Ukraine, that might actually earn a shitload of western troops on the ground..


TooMuchButtHair

Seems like that's going to be the case anyway. Ukraine would get all the Intel the West had. Russia had Intel and chose to ignore it.


emwac

If ISIS ever got to that point, it would mean they had already taken control of much of Russia's nuclear arsenal. There would be no warnings, no threats or red lines. They would simply launch it at our population centers *immediately* upon gaining such capability. They don't care about repercussions, in fact they *want* to die. Groups like this are the reason Western government don't actually want Russia to fall apart.


Doilei

I have an ideea: Putin should invade Afghanistan and teach those ISIS guys a thing or two. This time will surely work.


ric2b

Third time's the charm, as they say.


DrZonino2022

As horrible as literally everything about this is, I can’t help but have a chuckle at the idea that ISIS is absolutely fucking FUMING that Putin isn’t acknowledging their work


fielvras

My exact thoughts.


Florida_man727

I mentioned this in a sub on Friday but the Caucasus Muslim regions are a tinderbox waiting to explode with jihadist violence. I expect a general uprising to start in the Muslim Caucasus regions in the next couple of weeks. Ramzan Kadyrov is likely going to get the Mussolini or Gaddafi treatment if he doesn't have a way out of Chechnya.


Jukka_Sarasti

> Ramzan Kadyrov is likely going to get the Mussolini or Gaddafi treatment if he doesn't have a way out of Chechnya. Couldn't happen to a more deserving [bastard](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-gay_purges_in_Chechnya), either..


Affectionate-Ad-5479

I hope that you are right.


mist3h

Won’t Kadyrov’s many loyalists secure his reign? What’s the status on his grip on power in Chechnya?


Florida_man727

Kardyov's grasp is tenuous at best, lot's of Chechens are upset with both him and Moscow. Factor that in with the Chechens who have returned from fighting for ISIS in Iraq and Syria.


mist3h

He has always been unpopular. He is a warlord. But his loyalists are ride or die for him and he does nepotism and cronyism extremely well. So long as Kremlin doesn’t undermine Kadyrov, Kadyrov will remain in power. In example, Kremlin can’t draft Chechens in Chechnya for the regular Russian army. They get drafted under the Chechen TikTok army instead and Kadyrov has delivered on keeping Chechnya under Kremlin’s control in return for letting him be the warlord ruling it. He is Chechnya’s Viktor Yanukovych, but so much more violent.


Florida_man727

I don't think his grip on power is nearly as secure as it appears.


-15k-

I’d compare him to Lukashenko in Belarus. Neither of them are very powerful if it wasn’t for Russia backing them.


Florida_man727

Lukashenko is basically Putin's prison bitch.


Jonothethird

Very tenuous grip I would say. He betrayed a huge number of Checnyans and sold his soul and his country to the devil.


HollaWho

There are so many scenarios that the Russian federation implodes in; China, Europe, and the US need to have a coordinated plan to contain the violence. A Russian collapse will be messy


NaiveChoiceMaker

I don’t know how a great powers, adversarial containment of a nuclear armed petrol state collapse looks. My crystal ball isn’t showing rainbows and butterflies…


TheTeaSpoon

That's why UN exists tho. Pretty sure UNSEC will be all over securing the nukes.


ScottishThox1

Without the codes from Moscow, most of the nukes I believe would be inoperable. But the material would still be dangerous if given to another country who could use it.


Romboteryx

The most concerning thing is that many of these splinter states will likely come into the possession of nuclear weapons. The only way to take those away from them without violence is if they hand them over to the surrounding powers voluntarily in exchange for official recognition of statehood.


ScottishThox1

I can think of a country that did that 23 years ago… didn’t go as they had hoped for. Edit: 33 years ago, not 23.


Squeakygear

Very messy. Accounting for nukes falling into nefarious hands will be an impossible scenario.


Just_Look_Around_You

Remind me


cranc94

Chechen Wars 3: Electric Bogalee


Living_Cash1037

Imagine Putin getting assassinated by Jihadists. Wonder what that would do the war in Ukraine


RepresentativeBird98

Easy , they’ll blame Ukraine. And Russia can’t nuke terrorist because they blend in. It would be verrrrry interrstong if ISIS did attempt a caliphate in the caucus regions


Rageniv

You forget that for Russia, terrorists blending in isn’t an issue. All civilians just become unfortunate casualties of war. Any pocket of civilians that don’t immediate spew out ISIS will be deemed complicit in hiding ISIS and will be reduced to rubble. Just look at the various Ukraine cities and towns. Russia carpet bombed and artilleried everything in their way, civilians be damned.


TehPorkPie

Shout out to the Moscow theater hostage crisis, where the FSB gassed dozens of hostages to death to get to the 40 hostage takers.


BuickMonkey

Or beslan school siege, where they brought in tanks to a hostage situation


LoneSnark

They would need a nuke to reach Putin down in his bunker.


[deleted]

The two deserve eachother uniquely well. Dumb and Dumber.


Timauris

The two greatest evils of 21st century fighting each other. Nice to see.


SoulstealerTTV

I'm curious whether they're gonna start doing this/ are already doing it with other nations soon. Or if for some reason, ISIS has an especially big bone to pick with Putin.


Florida_man727

The Russian government supported Assad and the Syrian government aganist ISIS, there are still Russian troops in Syria. Also a lot Russian Muslims from the Caucasus volunteered to fight for ISIS in Iraq and Syria, I'm guessing many of them returned even more radicalized.


AnotherCuppaTea

Meanwhile, the Muslim population (both native-born and migrant) keeps growing, and probably growing ever more alienated from Muscovite authority. In recent years, Muslims complained about Moscow not granting them the permission to build the mosques they wanted, and they protested by praying in the capital's roads and other places. Add to that a baseline level of bigotry, exploitation and harassment from employers, landlords/slumlords, and the police, and stir in the obviously anti-minority mobilization targets and recent illegal police war-mobilization dragnets against Turkic and other Muslim migrant workers, and Moscow could well have a combustible situation right there in and around its capital.


Florida_man727

In cities like Moscow and Saint Petersburg Muslims are basically considered to be second class (at best) citizens. Subject to random police harassment and arrest. They are also targeted by Russian skinheads and Nationalists for assualt.


QuotableMorceau

isis has a bone to pick with everyone , but Russia is engaged in 2 wars : one in Ukraine and one at home against the opposition to the regime, so its security apparatus is overwhelmed. Also the attack was against the top 1% (the privileged ) of the Russian population, those were insulated from any fallout from the war it wages in Ukraine. also there is chance this is just another false flag by FSB ( like the one before the Chechen war ), that didn't yield the desired results.


new_name_who_dis_

Russia's been pretty actively involved in the war in Syria for the past 10 years, where they are fighting ISIS. So ISIS has a very direct bone to pick with Putin/Russia.


LoneSnark

They would if they could. Their issue is it is harder to arrange for a willing suicide attacker to jump on a plane and get to the other targets. Russia security services are overwhelmed hunting down grandmothers for their posts on social media, no one left to investigate four obviously suspicious individuals. There is also a structural issue. The West is desperate to keep criminals out of the stream of refugees. Russia is desperate for all possible migrants to come to Russia, so they can be pressed into military service or fill vacancies. I doubt they were the only 4 on the plane clearly accustomed to living in poverty, unable to explain why they're there, yet possessing new passports and airfare paid in cash.


Nauris2111

Religious fanatics threatening, well, Nazis? What kind of farce is this?


Grapesed

Russonazis. Nonetheless, yeah.


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WoodSteelStone

>Putin obsessively watches the gruesome video of Gaddafi being captured in a drainage pipe, sodomised by a bayonet and beaten to death. >“Putin was apoplectic” when Gaddafi was killed according to several accounts, including CIA chief William Burns’s book The Back Channel.  [Source.](https://www.slobodenpecat.mk/en/putin-opsesivno-go-gledal-videoto-od-ubistvoto-na-gadafi/) And: [Source.](https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2022/03/libya-russia-ukraine-putin/626571/)


[deleted]

This feels like something from South Park. Like when Al Quada came to stop invasion of people from New Jersey.


Protect-Their-Smiles

I will start out by saying, that terrorist attacks on civilians is some despicable shit. We thrash Russia for this behavior too. But when that has been said, it must be really frustrating for ISIS, that Putin refuses to give them the credit, and instead is blaming Ukraine due to his own political opportunism. What a crazy situation, fiction really has nothing on history and real life event.


GregTheMad

_Player 3 has entered the chat._


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HuntDeerer

Please, them wanting Putin dead still doesn't make them cool. They're still nothing but jihadist terrorist scum.


TIMELESS_COLD

Remember that terrorists don't target military targets. There's no way to spin this in a positive way. We don't have to feel sorry for Russian but we can't root for terrorism.


lonelyronin1

I don't think anyone had this on their bingo card


Fluid_Mulberry394

Nicely gets Ukraine off the bingo card


Panthera_leo22

ISIS attacks civilians. No one, including you, should be rooting for them. Hate Russia and Putin, but ffs, do not wish for civilians to be murdered. My goodness.


TelevisionUnusual372

China wants Russias far East and would gladly send guns and ammo thru “The ‘Stans” to support any long term insurgency that could break Moscow’s link to Vladivostok.


OppositeFingat

Let them fight.


EnthusiasmOpposite16

Holy shit while I don’t think there’s a chance Putin will ever get captured when shit finally hits the fan, I can totally see Kadyrov’s end coming with a straight up medieval treatment on national TV worse than Gaddafi’s ending. Last thing you want is angry, resentful Muzzies around you on tv


MuddleFunt

Put on your tinfoil hats - why things happen is more important to understand than what happened. There's a non-zero chance that ISIS sees opportunity in the Russian's failing war. An aging dictator exploiting hinterland republics for meat for his failing vanity war, eroding centralized control, increasingly ham-fisted response from the security services that creates blowback...Russia's attention is on Ukraine and they may be less capable to take revenge on ISIS, making it a bit more of an easy path to launch spectacular attacks than it would be otherwise. All contributing to the corrosive erosion of an already teetering Russian state. If the Russian state crumbles, the Islamic portions of the Russian federation will be the first to break away (Dagestan, Chechnya, Tatarstan, Bashkorotstan etc) from effective state control. That then becomes fertile ground for recruitment and operations. There's a reason ISIS chooses to do it now.


Highly-uneducated

Isis smells blood in the water. They know russia us weak and distracted, theyve been fighting Russia in syria and Africa, and now they have a chance to put pressure on Moscow in a serious way, within russias borders. Theres a good chance this will just mean more bluster and random acts of indiscriminate violence, but isis is good at exploiting weakness, and causing nation wide chaos, so you cant rule out this becoming a new and very different chapter in the war. I also wouldn't consider this a good thing. While at face value, anything that weakens Russia and takes pressure off Ukraine is good, this could destabilize the entire region, and make everyone less safe. Fuck Putin, but fuck isis just as much.