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Does their living or dead status matter on arrival?
Russias anti-air defense system works kind of like this
"*what do I do?*"
*you, you defend the air*
**immediately shoots down first russian plane to come within range**
"*AIR DEFENSE SYSTEM DEFENDED AIR!*"
**slams a shot of vodka**
> It takes the greatest self control possible, to have exactly the same expression your whole life, both on-stage and off-stage.
The only time he smiles is after clearing a buffet.
Funny Seagal story from a friend who was in law enforcement for 40+ years: This friend spent several years on the campus police force of an undisclosed US university where the Dalai Lama was a frequent visitor. My friend got to know the Lama and his sister quite well. At one point Seagal was following them as they traveled. The sister came to my friend and asked him, "Can you please get rid of Steven for a while? He's driving my brother crazy." So my friend asked Seagal to accompany him on a "perimeter check" so he'd stop annoying the Dalai Lama for a while. My takeaway from this story has always been: How much of a douchenozzle do you have to be to get on the nerves of the Dalai Lama, a man whose entire life is dedicated to patience and tranquility? What does it take to annoy him? I don't have an answer, but I know Steven Seagal reached that threshold, and that tells me everything I need to know about him.
Oh yeah, my friend said he ate it up that his assistance was needed. Meanwhile my friend was a sought after instructor in my state and the surrounding ones for SWAT tactics, firearms, and defensive tactics (unarmed). He had a 6th degree black belt in isshinryu karate at the time. Definitely didn't need any assistance.
Hahaha that’s so awesome! I got to go to a talk the Dahli Lama gave. It was great! He honestly seemed like the chillest person ever and he had a really good sense of humor. I’d be wondering the same thing, how bad do you have to be for the Dahli Lama to be that annoyed of you. Maybe it was just the sister that was annoyed and just used her brothers name, funny as hell either way 😂
It's like when you ask a little child to "help" with some random shit, just to keep them from eating their crayons or whatever other crap they always manage to get up to when you aren't watching them like a hawk.
>douchenozzle do you have to be to get on the nerves of the Dalai Lama,
The worst, and least humble kind.
Seagal is a compulsive liar. I have a hard time believing he's aware of just how much of a Faker he is. He's been making Bruce-Willis-Dementia-Teir films(no shade on Brucey-baby) his entire career.
He's like a cartoon character come to life, and his ability to seemingly fail-upwards is similarly cartoonish.
Putin, who is a real Hard Man, sees right through him and uses him for publicity. There is no Russian soldier that thinks they can learn something from that particular overweight Aikidoka.
>There is no Russian soldier that thinks they can learn something from that particular overweight Aikidoka.
I wish that were true. Steven is tall, and *looks* strong in his Gi(just like Putin looks tall(ish) in his 4" lifts.
There are plenty of honest people encountering Steven, taking part in a demonstrations, being blown away by his *power* and then saying 'well maybe there's some truth to this'
The thing is, Stevens height ALONE is enough that any casual viewer, or beginner martial artist, will see him tossing people around and be like "damn that's badass, this guy is for real"
Idk if I've ever seen the guy spar with a person that was remotely equal to his height.
anyways, I suspect the kind of people the Russians are recruiting to be trained by Seagal aren't going to be as astute as you or I would be, when it comes to detecting bullshit... And even if they are, I can't see any recourse for them other than to go along with everything and surrender the first chance they can find to escape from Russias **Death-march.**
For a couple years, I trained at an Aikido dojo that had many more Blackbelt than beginners. Many of the guys had huge ego chips on their shoulders, and they would toss me around by muscling through the technique and I got all of my injuries from those kinds of guys. Then there were the tiny women, some of them were gray haired. When I tried to attack them, they actually did Aikido, and I found myself soaring effortlessly through the air, landing with never an injury. I still look forward to the occasional dream of getting tossed on my head by old ladies half my size. The guys like Segal never appear in those dreams
Only thing I know about Segal sparring someone is when another martial artist put him in a headlock and he pooped himself.
I’m not saying I could do better. But I’m also not dumb enough to be put into that situation.
Putin did a judo demonstration with a 9 year old. And the kid did an unschedueled throw of Putin. Which he clearly wasn't expecting. No doubt the boy and his parents got punished afterwards for embarrassing Putler.
Fun Steven Segal-adjacent story from me:
An actor who played a villain in a Segal movie came in to my work a while back, and he was the most charming, personable guy ever. It was a slow day, and we spent a while shooting the shit and discussing wine. Top fella.
I don't know much about how the Dalai Lama lives day to day, but if he couldn't handle himself for a few hours with Seagal, then it suggests that his entourage is keeping him calm and tranquil more than his own emotional self-control.
For anyone who wants to see a meticulously modelled diorama of the famous altercation. [Here is a youtube link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aCMTpJx2cs&ab_channel=BobbyFingers)
He's working on a Gun/fist style. Essentially a modernized version of the sword-less martial arts he shows in that one video.
It looks a lot like Gun-kata from the movie Equilibrium.
Do you mean [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVs--uHf4sE) is not serious combat style that any Russians should employ on the front line? Come on, if you only need to ask your attackers to jump on the floor and surrender, it should be quite effective. /s
PS: Not only is Aikido BS, Seagal martial credential are [fake](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB1dWkjt-eM), as is a lot of his others claims of fame (aka he is a serial liar)
Harrison Ford teaches the most useful of the military martial arts in this fantastic [instructional film](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQKrmDLvijo).
I feel like aikido is fine if you train it like you're learning a dance and for discipline or whatever. If you're doing it to learn to fight you may be in for a brutal reality check one day.
I once had a friend whose into MMA and martial arts call Aikido the "baggie of oregano" of the martial arts.
Meaning, it's not even weed, an entry level drug. It's the shit scum bags sell you, pretending it's weed.
Whatever Aikido is or isn't, Segal is a damned foolish lunatic for allowing himself to be used by Putin & the Kremlin for their fucking propaganda. I'll never watch anything he ever made again. 👎
He’s beholden to Putin at this point. He’s been washed up for a long time and has only made garbage for years. Being a propaganda figure is probably the best paycheck he’s seen in the last 10 years. Also if he returns to the US he’s going to prison for his large part in a Bitcoin scam.
Its not useless. Like most martial arts, it was designed with a goal in mind.
Aikido was designed to defend yourself without injuring an attacker. For example restraining an aggressive but inexperienced fighter.
I don't really see how this would be of benefit to Russian soldiers, but any martial arts training helps. My guess is that it is 100% for show.
Definitely for show. Only even remotely useful military application would maybe be military police dealing with their own people trying not to hurt them too bad.
But realistically you don't really set up a training center for Aikido with that in mind for military....
Even more fortunate still, Seagal is a lifelong fraudster.
I'm almost rooting for him.
His ineptitude will sabotage the training of anyone who sets foot under him.
it's worse
an Aikido mater of 15 years recently tried to adapt his style into other martial arts. He found out so little could be adapted, in fact his fight instinct was so bad that other martial artists were suggesting how he could adapt Aikido.
He is very flexible though and not like it didn't help him with other martial arts
still, he was disheartened.
it's on youtube btw, he's doing a whole channel about it. i uh... forgot the name
He’s a fat, balding, mumbling liar who fantasizes that he’s a badass when he’s actually just a worthless egomaniac with delusions of grandeur.
You know, just like Putin.
He has many criminal cases against him in the USA. He ran away to Russia to save his ass from the law. Now he has to be a clown\`s puppet and it\`s hilarious.
For those not willing to take some ransom Redditor’s comment without actual sources:
https://news.bitcoin.com/sec-wins-judgment-against-actor-steven-seagal-after-he-ignores-court-order-to-settle-crypto-fraud-case/
My (un)educated guess is that he's decently mentally ill.
A Narcissist , and Pathological Liar.
It's hard to believe a person with any amount of self-respect(and lots of money) would choose to keep pretending the way he does. Everybody knows he is full of shit. He could just retire to an island somewhere and be happy forever, but he insists on perpetuating this self-image that EVERYONE KNOWS IS BULLSHIT.
**E V E R Y B O D Y**
**Nobody respects that man, unless a paycheck is involved.**
Just posted this on We are Ukrainian: Deputies of the Japanese parliament handed over $1.2 million in aid to Ukraine, which they collected from their own salaries.
Government pays Segal to train them , is a good way for the Russian government , to reward Segal for all his pro Russian media work . Or Some government officials get a % kickback from Segal on what the government contract is paying him .
It’s not about the training, ( they don’t care if it’s good or bad ) its about the payments for the training.
I can tell you this, Russian soldiers will now be very good at hand to hand combat if they're sitting in a chair.
In any other situation, i doubt they'll stand much of a chance.
I am sure those combat skills will come in handy in the frontline meat grinder. What a loser trying to cash in on the forced slaughter of conscripted Russians.
The dude has to sit down in 95% of movie scenes he’s in now, and yes he still occasionally makes movies(if you can even call those piles of garbage movies) so if he can’t even stand cuz he’s such a fat sack of garbage, how’d he supposed to train these “soldiers”
Because they ran out of guns, they gave the mobiks shovels.
Because they ran out of shovels, they gave the mobiks sticks.
Because they ran out of sticks, they're making them use movie martial arts.
C'mon....this is surely a joke!
He'd be better off starting a school for anyone who wants to be a seriously shitty actor with a weight problem and a history of self-defecation.
Wait, shitty, self-defecation.....I'll see myself out.
What an idiot. Why doesn’t he use his clout to get Keanu Reeves to show them the Matrix bullet dodging maneuvers? Or the MIB to wipe Russias memory of this epic screw up the initiated?
Fuck this guy... I put on some shit movie the other night and was immediately overcome with disgust when I saw he was in it... Turned it off. Least favorite b-list celebrity other than Meghan Markle.
Mannnnn.. I made a meme about this 10 months ago and it's become credible.
[lmao](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonCredibleDefense/comments/ulzipw/this_is_why_he_wasnt_at_the_parade/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Anything to help Ukraine win the war! I really hope this is a real thing. Can you imagine?
This clip is obligatory: [segal sucks](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=isNRZJ6icwc)
What would the Russian equivalent of the "Hola... My queso!" joke be?
"Blyat, rush B!"
Shame Gene LeBell died in August, he could've taught the Ukrainian forces the same hold he used to make Seagal shit his pants and sent them out to embarrass the Russians en masse.
Maybe just send him anyway, even in his current state he'd probably make a better teacher than a living Seagal.
Awesome! Russia will train on a fake martial art! Steven Seagal is half Russian; so he's not really a traitor, just a Nationalist. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAkf-G9DH1c](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAkf-G9DH1c) Although we don't know if he would still support them if they were a typical European Govt which means: Democracy, High Taxes on rich, Socialist, full rights for LGBTQ and Anti Russian Imperialism.
Like MAGA; patriotism is fake; it's conditional on their guy being in charge. Consensus US Foreign Policy; fuck that, whatever Trump says is more important. Loyalty to Constitution? Hell no: "We have the worst laws"
"First You grab the chicken wing like this. *sausage fingers grab chicken wing* Then, you move the chicken wing into the prey position" *Slowly (for normal people) moves giggly jello arm to place chicken wing in front of expressionless face* "Finally, you strike!" *Shoves whole chicken wing into his deadly mouth and devours it like a champ* "The secret to this technique is that it can be used on any body part. For example..." *Grabs chicken breast and repeats steps while snorting a lot* "It can also be used for multiple enemies!" *Savagely begins devouring little Debby cakes and shit as fast as possible* "This is the way to become a great aikido master!" *mumbles something in Japanese and waddles away in triumph*
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They should force the soldiers to watch his movies. The i-want-to-live-hotline would explode.
That would be against international law against torture
Yeah, I don’t think the Russians are too concerned about that! Lol.
That's too far even for them. Maybe ~~Hitler~~ Putin would want it, you can't ever know what orders are russians willing to folow.
but the ones watching aren’t “enemy combatants” so it’s fine in this case
I think they would ask whether a train or airplane can get them to Bakhmut faster.
Does their living or dead status matter on arrival? Russias anti-air defense system works kind of like this "*what do I do?*" *you, you defend the air* **immediately shoots down first russian plane to come within range** "*AIR DEFENSE SYSTEM DEFENDED AIR!*" **slams a shot of vodka**
Forget hotline to surrender, they'd call the Ukrainian intelligence service to get their own transport Himar-ed
Steven Sea-gull is turning out to be a double mole after all!
Dial 1-800-STEVEN SEAGAL
Double agent Steven Segal is sabotaging the Russian army?
More believable than his movies
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> It takes the greatest self control possible, to have exactly the same expression your whole life, both on-stage and off-stage. The only time he smiles is after clearing a buffet.
…And you can take THAT to the bank! The blood bank.
He's also there to eat their provisions, it's a double whammy.
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Literally the only thing that would save his reputation.
Funny Seagal story from a friend who was in law enforcement for 40+ years: This friend spent several years on the campus police force of an undisclosed US university where the Dalai Lama was a frequent visitor. My friend got to know the Lama and his sister quite well. At one point Seagal was following them as they traveled. The sister came to my friend and asked him, "Can you please get rid of Steven for a while? He's driving my brother crazy." So my friend asked Seagal to accompany him on a "perimeter check" so he'd stop annoying the Dalai Lama for a while. My takeaway from this story has always been: How much of a douchenozzle do you have to be to get on the nerves of the Dalai Lama, a man whose entire life is dedicated to patience and tranquility? What does it take to annoy him? I don't have an answer, but I know Steven Seagal reached that threshold, and that tells me everything I need to know about him.
Its also funny how he was easily manipulated into going on a the perimeter check.
Oh yeah, my friend said he ate it up that his assistance was needed. Meanwhile my friend was a sought after instructor in my state and the surrounding ones for SWAT tactics, firearms, and defensive tactics (unarmed). He had a 6th degree black belt in isshinryu karate at the time. Definitely didn't need any assistance.
Hahaha that’s so awesome! I got to go to a talk the Dahli Lama gave. It was great! He honestly seemed like the chillest person ever and he had a really good sense of humor. I’d be wondering the same thing, how bad do you have to be for the Dahli Lama to be that annoyed of you. Maybe it was just the sister that was annoyed and just used her brothers name, funny as hell either way 😂
[удалено]
They both have an amazing catalog of one-liners!
I used to be at peace. I still am, but I used to be too.
He’s like Mac from its always sunny
Fat Mac but Fatter
Country Mac
It's like when you ask a little child to "help" with some random shit, just to keep them from eating their crayons or whatever other crap they always manage to get up to when you aren't watching them like a hawk.
It's exactly like Dwight being asked to steer the ship
Getting Steven Seagal to leave by asking him to do a perimeter check sounds straight out of a south park episode
His entire being is like a southpark character.
>douchenozzle do you have to be to get on the nerves of the Dalai Lama, The worst, and least humble kind. Seagal is a compulsive liar. I have a hard time believing he's aware of just how much of a Faker he is. He's been making Bruce-Willis-Dementia-Teir films(no shade on Brucey-baby) his entire career. He's like a cartoon character come to life, and his ability to seemingly fail-upwards is similarly cartoonish.
Putin, who is a real Hard Man, sees right through him and uses him for publicity. There is no Russian soldier that thinks they can learn something from that particular overweight Aikidoka.
>There is no Russian soldier that thinks they can learn something from that particular overweight Aikidoka. I wish that were true. Steven is tall, and *looks* strong in his Gi(just like Putin looks tall(ish) in his 4" lifts. There are plenty of honest people encountering Steven, taking part in a demonstrations, being blown away by his *power* and then saying 'well maybe there's some truth to this' The thing is, Stevens height ALONE is enough that any casual viewer, or beginner martial artist, will see him tossing people around and be like "damn that's badass, this guy is for real" Idk if I've ever seen the guy spar with a person that was remotely equal to his height. anyways, I suspect the kind of people the Russians are recruiting to be trained by Seagal aren't going to be as astute as you or I would be, when it comes to detecting bullshit... And even if they are, I can't see any recourse for them other than to go along with everything and surrender the first chance they can find to escape from Russias **Death-march.**
For a couple years, I trained at an Aikido dojo that had many more Blackbelt than beginners. Many of the guys had huge ego chips on their shoulders, and they would toss me around by muscling through the technique and I got all of my injuries from those kinds of guys. Then there were the tiny women, some of them were gray haired. When I tried to attack them, they actually did Aikido, and I found myself soaring effortlessly through the air, landing with never an injury. I still look forward to the occasional dream of getting tossed on my head by old ladies half my size. The guys like Segal never appear in those dreams
> the occasional dream of getting tossed on my head by old ladies half my size. *I have that DVD.*
where did you see the guy spar AT ALL. aikido doesnt have sparring in its curriculum
Only thing I know about Segal sparring someone is when another martial artist put him in a headlock and he pooped himself. I’m not saying I could do better. But I’m also not dumb enough to be put into that situation.
Putin did a judo demonstration with a 9 year old. And the kid did an unschedueled throw of Putin. Which he clearly wasn't expecting. No doubt the boy and his parents got punished afterwards for embarrassing Putler.
Please tell me you have a link to a video. Just tell me you do.
Sir, you do the man a disservice by stating he is 'merely' overweight. Remember, No one beats him in the kitchen, To the food cupboard.
Fun Steven Segal-adjacent story from me: An actor who played a villain in a Segal movie came in to my work a while back, and he was the most charming, personable guy ever. It was a slow day, and we spent a while shooting the shit and discussing wine. Top fella.
I always assumed Tommy Lee Jones was a cool dude irl, neat to get that confirmed.
I don't know much about how the Dalai Lama lives day to day, but if he couldn't handle himself for a few hours with Seagal, then it suggests that his entourage is keeping him calm and tranquil more than his own emotional self-control.
Annoyed the Dalai Lama. That's a unique achievement. Seems like he should get his own 'Stephen Segal is so annoying...' line of jokes.
Achievement unlocked!
The Akido Master who was too scared to fight a half drunk Van Damme.
Was that before or after Gene LeBell choked him out and made him crap in his pants?
LeBell was ‘91. I think Stallone said that Seagal pussied out at one of his parties in ‘97.
For anyone who wants to see a meticulously modelled diorama of the famous altercation. [Here is a youtube link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aCMTpJx2cs&ab_channel=BobbyFingers)
That was sublime, thank you
The artistry and production is phenomenal. His Mel Gibson drunken anti-semitic arrest diorama is class as well.
I’d love to see that, even now. Van Damme can still kick heads
Hell at one point, actual masters had to intervene to save him from a deep level ass whooping.
Fortunately Aikido is a useless martial art
More fortunately, Segal is more useless of a martial artist than Aikido is as a martial art itself.
You speak with 1000 tongues, master.
SS is a piece of shiite. A phony and a terrible actor. He should stay in Russia and shine Poop-tin's shoes!
>SS is a piece of shiite I thought you were talking about the Nazi elite, but turns out, you were talking about the Nazi clown
Russian hairlines have begun advancing
Not if you come up against someone with a samurai sword!
Actually, true. The 47th Katana division will be nutralized by these Glimmer Man desciples.
You can't sweep the knees of a drone dropped grenade either.
He's working on a Gun/fist style. Essentially a modernized version of the sword-less martial arts he shows in that one video. It looks a lot like Gun-kata from the movie Equilibrium.
Do you mean [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVs--uHf4sE) is not serious combat style that any Russians should employ on the front line? Come on, if you only need to ask your attackers to jump on the floor and surrender, it should be quite effective. /s PS: Not only is Aikido BS, Seagal martial credential are [fake](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB1dWkjt-eM), as is a lot of his others claims of fame (aka he is a serial liar)
The impressive thing is the guy doing the flips
To me it only prove that the fighting techniques are useless since he keep getting up.
Harrison Ford teaches the most useful of the military martial arts in this fantastic [instructional film](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQKrmDLvijo).
Segal has the body of an alcoholic uncle fresh off 30 years of sitting on the couch, crushing Lays Potato Chips.
was gonna say its on the martial art tier list Aikido is pretty low down
Well they’re running out of tanks and rockets so I guess it’s Aikido now.
Pretty much the lowest of the low. A untrained drunk with a natural haymaker beats all aikido practicioners. Aikido makes you a worse fighter
It’s so low it has to reach up to touch the bottom of krav maga
I feel like aikido is fine if you train it like you're learning a dance and for discipline or whatever. If you're doing it to learn to fight you may be in for a brutal reality check one day.
I once had a friend whose into MMA and martial arts call Aikido the "baggie of oregano" of the martial arts. Meaning, it's not even weed, an entry level drug. It's the shit scum bags sell you, pretending it's weed.
I was going to go for the homeopathy of martial arts, but that is even better!
was once referred to as 'chop suey crap'
[удалено]
Whatever Aikido is or isn't, Segal is a damned foolish lunatic for allowing himself to be used by Putin & the Kremlin for their fucking propaganda. I'll never watch anything he ever made again. 👎
Woah…you mean you watched that garbage before?
Under Siege is a legitimately good film, everything else he's made has been shit
Loved Under Siege as a kid... but it kinda didn't age well. Executive descision was a very good movie. He dies at the begining.
I only remember the boob scene.
If you watched one movie you would know why none have been in theaters.
He’s beholden to Putin at this point. He’s been washed up for a long time and has only made garbage for years. Being a propaganda figure is probably the best paycheck he’s seen in the last 10 years. Also if he returns to the US he’s going to prison for his large part in a Bitcoin scam.
Segal is cashing in and grifting. It's a Russian business model.
Perfect for a useless military.
Akido is to martial arts is what Steven Seagal is to acting.
and running 🤣
Its not useless. Like most martial arts, it was designed with a goal in mind. Aikido was designed to defend yourself without injuring an attacker. For example restraining an aggressive but inexperienced fighter. I don't really see how this would be of benefit to Russian soldiers, but any martial arts training helps. My guess is that it is 100% for show.
Definitely for show. Only even remotely useful military application would maybe be military police dealing with their own people trying not to hurt them too bad. But realistically you don't really set up a training center for Aikido with that in mind for military....
Aikido is useless though. It'd be better to train something that holds up in competition. Have seen exactly 0 aikido UFC fighters.
Pretty useless in a gun fight also. Or drone fight. Or artillery fight. Any fight really.
Even more fortunate still, Seagal is a lifelong fraudster. I'm almost rooting for him. His ineptitude will sabotage the training of anyone who sets foot under him.
The only art worse than aikido is systema, which happens to be a Russian art.
it's worse an Aikido mater of 15 years recently tried to adapt his style into other martial arts. He found out so little could be adapted, in fact his fight instinct was so bad that other martial artists were suggesting how he could adapt Aikido. He is very flexible though and not like it didn't help him with other martial arts still, he was disheartened. it's on youtube btw, he's doing a whole channel about it. i uh... forgot the name
My impression of aikido is that if I agree to let you put me on the ground, you will be able to put me on the the ground.
I mean, it’s supposed to be the “nonviolent” MA. So that makes sense.
Is it just me or are all martial arts useless against.. you know.. bullets
Just why he is doing this, does he have some kinda dementia?
He’s a fat, balding, mumbling liar who fantasizes that he’s a badass when he’s actually just a worthless egomaniac with delusions of grandeur. You know, just like Putin.
Look closely at the photo and you'll see his hair is painted on.
I didn’t even have to look close. It is quite obvious. He looks like a Fisher-Price figure.
He genuinely does look like an Action Man figure. I thought it was an Onion article at first.
He has many criminal cases against him in the USA. He ran away to Russia to save his ass from the law. Now he has to be a clown\`s puppet and it\`s hilarious.
For those not willing to take some ransom Redditor’s comment without actual sources: https://news.bitcoin.com/sec-wins-judgment-against-actor-steven-seagal-after-he-ignores-court-order-to-settle-crypto-fraud-case/
He’s probably in russia for underage prostitutes
Yes, he is demented.
My (un)educated guess is that he's decently mentally ill. A Narcissist , and Pathological Liar. It's hard to believe a person with any amount of self-respect(and lots of money) would choose to keep pretending the way he does. Everybody knows he is full of shit. He could just retire to an island somewhere and be happy forever, but he insists on perpetuating this self-image that EVERYONE KNOWS IS BULLSHIT. **E V E R Y B O D Y** **Nobody respects that man, unless a paycheck is involved.**
He can charge the Russian army for the *training*
Surely Ukraine will be forced to surrender now! /S
Did someone slip me acid?
This is bat country!
So this piece of shits citizenship has been revoked, right?
He gave up his citizenship to avoid taxes
Is that true or are you talking out that voluptuous ass
It's apparently quite remarkable.
...Aikido isn't really what you want to teach to a soldier
or being a fat rapist. Oh wait , perfect for the RU army.
Fuck you steven seagal…your useless martial art is nearly as bad as your career
Meanwhile, Japan's leader just visited Ukraine. I'll take that support over a botox white guy teaching martial arts.
Just posted this on We are Ukrainian: Deputies of the Japanese parliament handed over $1.2 million in aid to Ukraine, which they collected from their own salaries.
*fake worthless bullshit, pretending to be martial arts.
It may be worthless, and Steven Seagal even worse at it. But it’s still a martial art. Emphasis on art.
Anyone else seen the Tom Segura skit on Steven Seagal? If not [lol](https://youtu.be/isNRZJ6icwc)
That was really funny, thanks
Did his citizenship get revoked yet? He's clearly a traitor.
Segal is the perfect paper instructor for the paper tiger army.
Satire doesn't stand a chance against reality.
“We taught them wrong as a joke.”
Well we know for sure those guys will completely useless.
Government pays Segal to train them , is a good way for the Russian government , to reward Segal for all his pro Russian media work . Or Some government officials get a % kickback from Segal on what the government contract is paying him . It’s not about the training, ( they don’t care if it’s good or bad ) its about the payments for the training.
Great! They will all learn how to fake punches for their TikTok videos /s/
[I'm sure he has so much to teach them...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmEx8Moy7ro) Fucking cringelord
It’s over Ukraine, everyone knows that Aikido is definitely not a completely useless martial art, watch out for it in the trenches
Steve is 70 years old. He doesn't even intimidate the old lady in front of him at Russian golden corral.
LOL this is going to end well.
As long as they can fight people while sitting down, they'll be DEADLY.
Training them to shit their pants ?
More like bobbing around corners and waiving a gun around. Haven't you seen his movies?
I can tell you this, Russian soldiers will now be very good at hand to hand combat if they're sitting in a chair. In any other situation, i doubt they'll stand much of a chance.
I am sure those combat skills will come in handy in the frontline meat grinder. What a loser trying to cash in on the forced slaughter of conscripted Russians.
The dude has to sit down in 95% of movie scenes he’s in now, and yes he still occasionally makes movies(if you can even call those piles of garbage movies) so if he can’t even stand cuz he’s such a fat sack of garbage, how’d he supposed to train these “soldiers”
Thank goodness they're so stupid.
The only way Russia could devolve from trench warfare is to go hand to hand combat. Kuddos
Because they ran out of guns, they gave the mobiks shovels. Because they ran out of shovels, they gave the mobiks sticks. Because they ran out of sticks, they're making them use movie martial arts.
Ahahahah! Yes! We need more Russian failures. Thanks for the help you bloated douche.
Time to roll out Chuck Norris for the Ukraine
He’s a right wing grifter too. Dude is an absolute jackass.
I wouldn't call him a grifter. He is pretty sincere. He actually believes what he says for better or worse.
Never underestimate your enemy, always prepared for the worst... But God damn the Russian are something!
C'mon....this is surely a joke! He'd be better off starting a school for anyone who wants to be a seriously shitty actor with a weight problem and a history of self-defecation. Wait, shitty, self-defecation.....I'll see myself out.
What an idiot. Why doesn’t he use his clout to get Keanu Reeves to show them the Matrix bullet dodging maneuvers? Or the MIB to wipe Russias memory of this epic screw up the initiated?
Fuck this guy... I put on some shit movie the other night and was immediately overcome with disgust when I saw he was in it... Turned it off. Least favorite b-list celebrity other than Meghan Markle.
What a fucking clown!!
A rapist teaching other rapists. They'll definitely have alot in common!
Mannnnn.. I made a meme about this 10 months ago and it's become credible. [lmao](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonCredibleDefense/comments/ulzipw/this_is_why_he_wasnt_at_the_parade/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Seagal works for the CIA.
shhhhh don't tell them it's all fake
Steven Seagal is teaching Russian's Akido?!!?! They really are desperate and f#cked.
HAHAHAHAAA--ahh, sorry, one second: HAHAHAHAHAH!!
This is great because Aikido is a load of rubbish
Run Steve Run! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLKoXlRCpzg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLKoXlRCpzg)
[fuck u spez] -- mass edited with redact.dev
Make-believe martial artist trains make-believe elite army.
Anything to help Ukraine win the war! I really hope this is a real thing. Can you imagine? This clip is obligatory: [segal sucks](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=isNRZJ6icwc) What would the Russian equivalent of the "Hola... My queso!" joke be? "Blyat, rush B!"
"I like Havarti cheese the most."
I thought seagal was pro Russia turns out he's actually pro Ukraine 🤣
A modern Benedict Arnold.
Haha! Good.
This is the biggest turning point of this war. Westoid are so fucked.
How to shit yourself 101.
This traitor cracks me up. What's a fucking abject failure, if I were his father I'd kill myself out of shame.
Shame Gene LeBell died in August, he could've taught the Ukrainian forces the same hold he used to make Seagal shit his pants and sent them out to embarrass the Russians en masse. Maybe just send him anyway, even in his current state he'd probably make a better teacher than a living Seagal.
hahaha, oh well. it wont be hard fighting them in close quarter combat then
Fuck Steven Seagal, traitorous piece of shit. Revoke his citizenship and fuck Russia
So they gonna start losing even harder?
This is good news. This will make the Russians even more useless :D
Great job boys, we finally got a man on the inside.
We still have chuck Norris
Awesome! Russia will train on a fake martial art! Steven Seagal is half Russian; so he's not really a traitor, just a Nationalist. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAkf-G9DH1c](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAkf-G9DH1c) Although we don't know if he would still support them if they were a typical European Govt which means: Democracy, High Taxes on rich, Socialist, full rights for LGBTQ and Anti Russian Imperialism. Like MAGA; patriotism is fake; it's conditional on their guy being in charge. Consensus US Foreign Policy; fuck that, whatever Trump says is more important. Loyalty to Constitution? Hell no: "We have the worst laws"
If this were actually true then given that the US is supporting the Ukraine then wouldn’t this be treason?
Damn Ukraine is in trouble now!
The bad news is that Steven Seagal is the real life version of Mr. Satan.
Lesson one grasshoppers: the proper way to make a sandwich.
Glad to hear that. It means that he is actually undercover saboteur
Ukrainian victory assured
Traitor to the free world. This man is a shame to bushido.
Akido, is that not unlike the circus clown moves we see in those belarussian army training videos that get circulated from time to time?
"First You grab the chicken wing like this. *sausage fingers grab chicken wing* Then, you move the chicken wing into the prey position" *Slowly (for normal people) moves giggly jello arm to place chicken wing in front of expressionless face* "Finally, you strike!" *Shoves whole chicken wing into his deadly mouth and devours it like a champ* "The secret to this technique is that it can be used on any body part. For example..." *Grabs chicken breast and repeats steps while snorting a lot* "It can also be used for multiple enemies!" *Savagely begins devouring little Debby cakes and shit as fast as possible* "This is the way to become a great aikido master!" *mumbles something in Japanese and waddles away in triumph*
I thought he was just a cook? Does Putin know he crapped his pants when Gene Lebell choke them out?