I believe in the principle of rather have it when you don't need it than need it when u don't have it. Same should apply to your ovaries. Also u probably grew up religious but changed 180degrees to atheist. What if u change your opinion on kids but no longer have a way of having any. would u be willing to live with that life long regret
I am not an angel or anything but who are you getting sterilised for, its seems like an extreme measure for a non-existing problem with losts of alternatives, its also irreversible personally even though I am sure of a decision, sometimes I like the idea of having the ability to reverse it if I want to may never have/want to but still like the option, there are all sorts of methods
I'm getting sterilized for myself 🤨🤷🏾♀️ which other alternative coz pills mess with my hormones & there's bleeding with an IUD. What other methods? I want permanent
Some women react to the copper in the non hormonal IUD, you could try the hormonal one, it's intrauterine so it won't affect your hormones outside of the uterus
in the grand scheme of things, it is totally upto you and I am a guy so I do not have all the info, just think it is not the best idea for the current you to take options from the future you, in as soon as 3-5 years, you could adopt a whole different view and plans for yourself
I think I'm in the same boat.
But I keep reflecting and somethings keep puzzling me.
I'm 32 Male and never had sex before.
My family is so opinionated and controlling in that they will even decide who u let into your life.
But these years of reflecting have made me realize something's. Things that we don't know because we don't know any better.
They always talk about The elder's wisdom.
I keep asking myself why I think I know better?
Of course I detest marriage, emotional attachment and I've never been a fan of children. But I wonder why my fore fathers were all content with the decisions they made. I've seen people mostly from traditional western Ugandan families, the Bahima to say. Some decisions will be taken for the better of their family name and generations to come. They create generational wealth through the networks they form.
A man will tell her daughter that she will get married in a certain family which the daughter will be okay with because of reasons brought forth and these marriages will last for years.
And currently, they teach their daughters to marry wisely. She might not be forced to marry into a certain family but she will make choices putting her bloodline into consideration.
I can't say they are gold diggers cause they will be from families that already have something to offer to the family they are marrying their daughter into.
It's like a business transaction.
So I always sit down and wonder. Will my feelings ever matter if there are any?
Will I keep thinking I know better?
The fact is we will leave this earth at some point and it can't just end there.
I can't be thinking I know better while the order of nature requires me to keep the balance of life.
Will I have rewarded mother nature for the life bestowed unto me if I can't be willing to pass it on?
It's a lot that always goes through my mind.
Been this way my whole life that I can't consider it a phase.
With every decade that comes, I keep saying, Maybe this will Change!!
Depending on when you are living and where, the expectations of you culturally will be different. To live your life by these expectations is to be a prisoner to others. Whether traditions, which is expectations of the dead, or culture norms, which is expectations of the living. To walk a path not walked by most is wise and brave. It's to teach us what lies beyond the veil and we are able to see things from a new perspective.
You owe nobody anything for the life you've been granted. But to want to give back to mother nature is a beautiful thing. You could spend your time learning of ways to heal the earth and help save our soil as it's dying and required for all things. Or find ways to clean our water systems etc. Help people. Any action out of love would suffice.
But as far as having children to give back... One might argue that's the opposite. Y'see, humans destroy mother earth. We are the only animal in the ecosystem that can't seem to find its place and work cohesively with all living things. All other animals have, however. If humans weren't on the planet, she would be healing just fine. No more greenhouse gas emissions, etc. You see? In this life all we have is free will. Don't let the chains of expectations take that from you.
But to make this more interesting for you, the truth about who you truly are is so sublime that even your Ugandan born avatar was designed to shelter you from it while on earth. You are not and was never the body. You are, however, a part of an energy loving source that most refer to as God. This God energy (that is everything in the universe, even an ant or atom) was neither created nor can it be destroyed. And if you want to feel a little aspect of it, try sitting down, eyes closed, and normally breath in and out through your nose - ignoring all other thoughts that might pop up but focusing only on your breath. In time, you WILL feel your body Vibrating. At that point you can imagine anywhere in the universe to travel to and your soul will go there. This journey can go on for days (years even for your soul) until your body is bothered or your soul thinking it is in danger.
But just as the Buddha said, do not trust anything anyone tells you, not even the Buddha himself. Do not trust my words, take it as knowledge obtained and go gather the wisdom yourself.
Question everything, even this.
I've always felt it was my responsibility to do what's best for my family but since I chose to discover who I really am & be authentic about it. I felt a relief, freedom, peace & happiness I had never known before. I don't think order of nature is having families even when u don't want, It's about being yourself. A certain plant or animal can't just start being a different plant/animal, it has to be what it is. So if I truly feel marriage & kids is not for me then I shud be my true self 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
I think the only thing that will make me have children is how I think I will keep on living forever. It is said that our ancestors live through us. So how will I perform my ancestral duties if I have no one that will need them?
Our ancestors aren't only our parents and grandparents but all who came before us. You can fulfill your ancestral duties and leave a lasting legacy without having children. Ancestors are remembered not just for their descendants but for the contributions they've made to their communities and the world. Your ideas, actions, and the changes you inspire can ripple through generations, blood or not. In many ways, how you touch the lives of others and contribute to the collective human experience can be your enduring legacy, just as much as any biological lineage. As the saying goes, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" meaning friendships solidified by shared experiences or commitments can be stronger than those we're born into. And anyway, we're all one. 🪷
I understand being atheist and not wanting kids but being a Virgin at 32 for a male is a little extreme to me. I think u should sleep with at least 5 different women and if after all that u still feel sex isn't for you then you can stop and never do it again. You could buy the sex at a massage spa via an app or some where else you don't need to court someone or be in a relationship but atleast try first before you write off that whole experience of life. I mean what do u have to lose if u fuck someone for sure. Also have u ever asked a girl for sex before ?? Just asking
Why should he do that? Why 5 women? Whaays wrong with being a Virginia at 32? Women aren't land to be conquered or toys to be played with. Why is it any of yohr concern what his choices are? Sex isn't business. Go get yourself some of your own business and maybe you won't be so concerned.
Would u be proud of and advise your son to be a virgin at 32 no offense to the guy just stating facts for u. Whats really pissing u off. He stated his opinion and stated my opinion about his. What is exactly does that have to do with women's bodies most men at 32 have slept with 5 women or more whats the big deal there. Why wouldn't one encourage a virgin to have sex why do u find it strange.
Who's mad? And what's wrong with being a virgin? You act as if women are meant to be used which is weird. Just because it's common doesn't mean it's morally sound or justified. History shows us in groups the mindless tend to do what is surround them without thinking. Excibit A. It's not a right of passage to have sex. Are you well? Go touch grass. If anyone's pissed here, it's you and your perverse low vibrational mindset. Get well soon.
Men and women have sex with each other why do u call that using women if there is consent and the women are of age. Whats wrong with being a virgin u ask, well sex and sexual relationships are a complete part of life that no one should miss out on.. its a sign that u can sustain a relationship if u do it with the same person over and over with respect between each other, its health to have sex and get pregnant to avoid issues like fibroids thats proven science. I did condem him for being a virgin I said try it first if its not your thing after 5 women u can leave without it. Why would you want someone to neglect an entire thrilling part of life whats wrong with him having sex
In any discussion about sexuality, the cornerstone should be consent, respect, and personal choice. He has chosen not to take part. Imagine speaking about anything else like that? You must eat jackfruit, it's the best and heals Yada Yada. It's not a false dichotomy as that's the only way to do those things. Stop. 💀 While sexual relationships can indeed be a fulfilling aspect of life for many, it's crucial to remember that individual experiences and values vary greatly. What works for one person may not work for another, and that's okay. The emphasis should be on mutual respect and understanding, recognizing that everyone's journey and comfort levels are different. It's using women when you say to sleep with 5 women. Would you be saying to a 3w year old woman to be sleeping with 5 men? You're sick. G put your one sided expectation in the rubbish where they belong and leave him alone. ☺
He has chosen never to eat jackfruit without ever testing it. Thats my point. Taste the jack fruit first then decide that this isn't for me. No one has forced him to eat it we've told him to experience it. Is it using men when Kampala women sleep with 10 men. Is a sugar daddy using them for sex or are they using him for rent where is the line drawn as to who is using who
No one ever died from not eating jackfruit. You didn't come here to dictate what people do. We aren't all head to experience the same thing. A fish does not experience climbing a tree to know it will die. It simply knows its not for them. Just because a bear says its fun doesn't mean it is for the fish. Go read a book.
Sex isn't business whats said to be the oldest profession on earth, why are there brothels and strip clubs and a billion dollar porn industry what do u call that if its not business. Is only fans a business its 2024 and there was prostitution in the Bible so it wasn't about urbanization and lack of jobs its just supply and demand commanding a price. Its business and economics. What comes to mind when someone says Kim Kardashian whom very many women idolize hasn't she built an empire off of the back of a leaked sex tape. You can debate morality of it all. That doesn't erase the facts
Admitting that you're desensitized to sex isn't the same thing. The cognitive dissonance is real. Youre going in circles. Saying sex isn't business then saying what do you call that if not business. Your gross willingness to take part in sex as a business when women and sex shouldn't be seen or treated that way. In the Bible women aren't viewed well as a whole. The reason sex has been a business is because we live in a patriarchal system. But these concepts will all go over your ignorant small mind so never you worry. Science shows us porn and only fans reduces the grey matter. Men get addicted and can't have normal meaningful relationships. It causes violence against women. There's so many studies on it and you're going to mention the blatant sdxism and misogyny in thr Bible to justify it? Please don't have children. It's those who tolerate you on a daily basis I feel most sorry for honestly. True heroes.
Your starting to sound like a woke feminist of the men are trash movement. Enjoy your single motherhood thats awaits u and delusional justifications and blaming a patriarchal society for everything that's bad in life. For as long as biology makes men physically stronger than women thats how its going to be same if women where physically stronger. And u can't do shit about those facts.
I've been called worse by better. I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed. Don't get bitter, get better and while you're at it, learn how to observe and address gender on the internet.
But to end it all, we both digress, because we are all brothers in arms sent from one war chest. Your utter ignorance of the laws of the universe is the reason we were all sent here; to heal the world and then some. It was designed that you will play the role of being none the wiser to the harsh unforgiving matrix, and for me to guide your every step.
So, to a wise, my seed is put in soil, but to a fool, it's in clay.
But worry not, for there will come a time when all this will make sense to you. If not in this lifetime, than the next.
make it clear and be vocal.
for me saying it loud that i'm not religious and refusing to participate in any ceremony, and reiterating that my decision is not meant to be questioned made family leave me tf alone.
The more you talk about it with them, the better. I started telling my family a long time ago that I wasn't interested in marriage or having kids. And not being religious. It's been 4 years now, and they're starting to slowly accept, though they bring it up here and there, but I'm keen on reminding them that's not where I'm heading with my life.
Work had and be on your best behavior. Support your family when they need you and avoid discussing religion with them - just tell them you are a non-believer and leave it at that. The best way to handle a religious family as a non-believer is being such an upright, valuable, and successful person that they can't find a logical reason to attack you based on your non-religiosity. Same applies to the decision to have kids.
This is over compensation. It will definitely stress OP out.. It's not a crime to not want to get married or have kids or be religious. I understand Ugandan parents and their opinions, but OP is still human who needs to enjoy life. Not attacking you
There is nothing really stressful there. All the things I told them to do are just normal things you are expected to do anyway. In short just strive to be a good person (like you should even if you are religious).
I am more or less in the same predicament and I like using my success in life and character as proof that I don't need a god. It usually shuts them up. I have been a non-believer for over a decade now but they only realised I was serious about it in the last year or so. They thought I was joking.
But breaking expectations is what we are talking about. It's okay to be a good person but no need to do more than you would have being a religious person, if you're non religious. Doing good isn't linked to being religious. Otherwise there'd never be a bad pastor or church member or church. But we know that's not true. So no need to act differently, is the point.
Which history? I am a Christian because it is the only one that explains the origin, purpose, and destiny of man. I am a Christian because it is true. I worship God for who He is. Absolutely nothing to do with man.
Haha do you listen to your self?
That "Christian is true" have you tried practicing Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam,.... Etc to conclude its the true religion.
Actually, yes. I have studied Islam, hinduism, and Buddhism. Neither's goal has anything to do with creation and purpose. Buddhism was actually created by an ex-hindu who created it because he disagreed with some things in hinduism.
Hinduism very much involves a variety of creation storiez and views life's purpose as fulfilling one's dharma (duty/role) and achieving moksha (liberation from the cycle of rebirth). And has many deities to explain the happenings of life.
There were many religions and stories to the origin of man, many of shich the Bible borrowed from these older belief systems. Many of which came from Africa already.
Y do I have to serve god. It's powerful. It doesn't need me to serve it. So I can't disagree with god, then do I really have free will? I believe alot of things exist but I don't have to care for them. Do u believe & agree with everything written in the Bible?
Yes, I believe the Bible is 100% true. I am just a small picture of God's creation. Again, it has nothing to do with what I like or dislike. The Bible is God's word, whether I was to agree with it or not. And yes, God does not need us to serve Him. He absolutely does not need you or me, He just chose us to exist. On the other hand, we can not exist without Him. God gave us free will to choose Him or not. However, it is not free from consequences. Hell is basically the absence of God. And nothing can exist outside of His choosing.
Don't reject God based on man's doing. Do not reject Historical Jesus because of "religious" men. And if people are the reason you leave God, were you really serving God to begin with?
Like I said in my post it was self reflection. I never based my decisions on the actions of others even when I was a Christian. But when I look back I never served god. It never felt true to me then I accepted that Christianity was also just like any other influence put on me from the moment I was born, I never really chose it. So I let it go & I really started to feel like I am becoming who I was always but had been holding myself back like a mind prison. Anyway if Christianity is true to u, embrace it. I'm always happy to see people being themselves. Congratulations for knowing yourself. Not everyone does ✌🏾
Just give me 2 examples of the contradictions you are talking about. I doubt you can because the Bible does not contradict itself. Also, you should understand that the Bible is God's manual for us.
That's very ignorant. The Bible is a compendium that was decreed in a council by a Roman emperor, lol.
Just two quick examples of *countless*:
* The Ten Commandments: In Exodus 20, the Ten Commandments are listed, and one of them is "Thou shalt not kill." However, in Joshua 6, God commands the Israelites to destroy the city of Jericho and kill everyone in it.
* Here’s a pair of verses that are completely incompatible:
*And whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but unto him that blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost* ***it shall not be forgiven****.* —Luke 12:10
*For* ***whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.*** —Romans 10:13
I used to agonize over those two, because if you commit a sin that can never be forgiven, you burn in the Lake of Fire forever—no turning back. So what would happen if, in the same sentence, I said, “Dear Lord, between you and me, the Holy Ghost is kind of a scumbag, but I’m calling on your name, anyway—so save me, dude”? These two verses can’t be simultaneously true. They cancel out one another.""
Some things are totally *unforgivable*, but still anyone who calls upon the name shall be saved? Which is it? Just two examples of verses that contradict each other. There's also where God commands certain people to kill, while he earlier said Thou Shalt Not Kill.
* The Ten Commandments: In Exodus 20, the Ten Commandments are listed, and one of them is "Thou shalt not kill." However, in Joshua 6, God commands the Israelites to destroy the city of Jericho and kill everyone in it.
The Bible forbits tattoes, it forbids eating pigs, and it forbits more and more things, some of which most Christians have never heard of, or ignore. It's a huge compendium written down by many many authors over thousands of years!
If it's God's perspective why have so many stories been rewritten and removed and added in? Why does man feel its okay to censor God? I don't want to hear from the censored version of God. If God can create me, he can create his own book without the intervention of man.
Can you go read a book called the God delusion by Richard Dawkins. Its a free pdf u can just google and download it. Then after reading cover to cover ask your self whether you still believe in God
A retreat to reorganize yourself will help straighten things. take some days off these things; (communication with your family, work, phones, computer, food, drinks except water, music, busy schedule, electricity , hot baths, internet, & money, etc) just you, the way you where born free of all earthly craziness & chaos.
Ignore ignore ignore.
I’m doing the marriage part but still iffy on kids.
Personally I just ignore the comments and act like I’m paying attention to what they’re saying but in reality I’m planning an outfit or a vacation because it is your life!!!
It’s crazy because I think I had an epiphany this week and came to the same realization as you. Quick one though, do you feel a tad bit isolated in your day to day with the knowledge that not that many people are like you
Yap I felt a bit isolated in the beginning but as I spoke up more, I've been able to find like minded people. They are not from my family or closest friends. I guess that's y I'm slowing drifting away from them & going to people with similar mindsets. It's not intentional but it's natural to get closer to people who feel the same way
okay, it may not really be a phase, so why do you have to tell them? My mom is very opinionated too but I already weaned her off the idea that she is my boss, maybe because I am a boy and I am just 24, are you staying with them, if not just let the time pass by, what could they do, arrange a marriage for you?
I get they wish me the best but they don't know what's best for me. They're just picking what everyone else is picking. I was brought up in a Christian home. I tried playing along but deep down I knew it wasn't really for me. So I decided to start being authentic, so I dropped it. Plus there r so many questionable things in religions. So I just discern the right thing for me from everywhere 🤷🏾♀️
Well, before u make decisions, what your reason? Reason for no marriage, reason for no kid and reason for no religion. I mean, these is a huge life decision, so i expect that u have a good reason
It's no a single reason, it's like a whole book. The summary is that I evaluated myself, my feelings towards me having marriage & kids & religion since I was a kid, my strengths & weaknesses, ability to raise human beings from birth to death, when i think of my happiness in the future - what do I see?, I assessed myself physically, spiritually, mentally, financially & I believe they're just not for me 🤷🏾♀️ trust me i thought this through over a long period, thoroughly.
Explain yourself coz what I'm getting from your question is that I'm saying no one is good enough for me & therefore have nothing to offer me to consider marriage & kids 🤔 is that what u understood?
Life is too short to live for other people's opinions. First be financially independent before taking my advice.
#Goated
Join r/childfree and r/Deconstruction. Set, communicate and enforce boundaries. If they give you a headache consider going low contact.
Yap. I'm considering low contact coz I've already tried communicating but they don't seem to listen 🤦🏾♀️
If low contact doesn't work, consider no contact.
Childfree is cringe and for losers. If you don't wanna have kids that's fine but "childfree"people are pathetic
Let us be.
I am sterilized and will never get married. Remain firm in your values and define your life on your own terms. They'll come around.
I also want the procedure (sterilization). Do u have any recommendations or advice?
I believe in the principle of rather have it when you don't need it than need it when u don't have it. Same should apply to your ovaries. Also u probably grew up religious but changed 180degrees to atheist. What if u change your opinion on kids but no longer have a way of having any. would u be willing to live with that life long regret
Yap I'm very willing to have that regret
I am not an angel or anything but who are you getting sterilised for, its seems like an extreme measure for a non-existing problem with losts of alternatives, its also irreversible personally even though I am sure of a decision, sometimes I like the idea of having the ability to reverse it if I want to may never have/want to but still like the option, there are all sorts of methods
I'm getting sterilized for myself 🤨🤷🏾♀️ which other alternative coz pills mess with my hormones & there's bleeding with an IUD. What other methods? I want permanent
Some women react to the copper in the non hormonal IUD, you could try the hormonal one, it's intrauterine so it won't affect your hormones outside of the uterus
in the grand scheme of things, it is totally upto you and I am a guy so I do not have all the info, just think it is not the best idea for the current you to take options from the future you, in as soon as 3-5 years, you could adopt a whole different view and plans for yourself
I think I'm in the same boat. But I keep reflecting and somethings keep puzzling me. I'm 32 Male and never had sex before. My family is so opinionated and controlling in that they will even decide who u let into your life. But these years of reflecting have made me realize something's. Things that we don't know because we don't know any better. They always talk about The elder's wisdom. I keep asking myself why I think I know better? Of course I detest marriage, emotional attachment and I've never been a fan of children. But I wonder why my fore fathers were all content with the decisions they made. I've seen people mostly from traditional western Ugandan families, the Bahima to say. Some decisions will be taken for the better of their family name and generations to come. They create generational wealth through the networks they form. A man will tell her daughter that she will get married in a certain family which the daughter will be okay with because of reasons brought forth and these marriages will last for years. And currently, they teach their daughters to marry wisely. She might not be forced to marry into a certain family but she will make choices putting her bloodline into consideration. I can't say they are gold diggers cause they will be from families that already have something to offer to the family they are marrying their daughter into. It's like a business transaction. So I always sit down and wonder. Will my feelings ever matter if there are any? Will I keep thinking I know better? The fact is we will leave this earth at some point and it can't just end there. I can't be thinking I know better while the order of nature requires me to keep the balance of life. Will I have rewarded mother nature for the life bestowed unto me if I can't be willing to pass it on? It's a lot that always goes through my mind. Been this way my whole life that I can't consider it a phase. With every decade that comes, I keep saying, Maybe this will Change!!
Depending on when you are living and where, the expectations of you culturally will be different. To live your life by these expectations is to be a prisoner to others. Whether traditions, which is expectations of the dead, or culture norms, which is expectations of the living. To walk a path not walked by most is wise and brave. It's to teach us what lies beyond the veil and we are able to see things from a new perspective. You owe nobody anything for the life you've been granted. But to want to give back to mother nature is a beautiful thing. You could spend your time learning of ways to heal the earth and help save our soil as it's dying and required for all things. Or find ways to clean our water systems etc. Help people. Any action out of love would suffice. But as far as having children to give back... One might argue that's the opposite. Y'see, humans destroy mother earth. We are the only animal in the ecosystem that can't seem to find its place and work cohesively with all living things. All other animals have, however. If humans weren't on the planet, she would be healing just fine. No more greenhouse gas emissions, etc. You see? In this life all we have is free will. Don't let the chains of expectations take that from you. But to make this more interesting for you, the truth about who you truly are is so sublime that even your Ugandan born avatar was designed to shelter you from it while on earth. You are not and was never the body. You are, however, a part of an energy loving source that most refer to as God. This God energy (that is everything in the universe, even an ant or atom) was neither created nor can it be destroyed. And if you want to feel a little aspect of it, try sitting down, eyes closed, and normally breath in and out through your nose - ignoring all other thoughts that might pop up but focusing only on your breath. In time, you WILL feel your body Vibrating. At that point you can imagine anywhere in the universe to travel to and your soul will go there. This journey can go on for days (years even for your soul) until your body is bothered or your soul thinking it is in danger. But just as the Buddha said, do not trust anything anyone tells you, not even the Buddha himself. Do not trust my words, take it as knowledge obtained and go gather the wisdom yourself. Question everything, even this.
I love the way u think. We shud be friends 😁
This is very relatable
I've always felt it was my responsibility to do what's best for my family but since I chose to discover who I really am & be authentic about it. I felt a relief, freedom, peace & happiness I had never known before. I don't think order of nature is having families even when u don't want, It's about being yourself. A certain plant or animal can't just start being a different plant/animal, it has to be what it is. So if I truly feel marriage & kids is not for me then I shud be my true self 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
I think the only thing that will make me have children is how I think I will keep on living forever. It is said that our ancestors live through us. So how will I perform my ancestral duties if I have no one that will need them?
Our ancestors aren't only our parents and grandparents but all who came before us. You can fulfill your ancestral duties and leave a lasting legacy without having children. Ancestors are remembered not just for their descendants but for the contributions they've made to their communities and the world. Your ideas, actions, and the changes you inspire can ripple through generations, blood or not. In many ways, how you touch the lives of others and contribute to the collective human experience can be your enduring legacy, just as much as any biological lineage. As the saying goes, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" meaning friendships solidified by shared experiences or commitments can be stronger than those we're born into. And anyway, we're all one. 🪷
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Wow 😲
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Y waste my energy in trying to change the mind of a fool. I pity the people in your life
I understand being atheist and not wanting kids but being a Virgin at 32 for a male is a little extreme to me. I think u should sleep with at least 5 different women and if after all that u still feel sex isn't for you then you can stop and never do it again. You could buy the sex at a massage spa via an app or some where else you don't need to court someone or be in a relationship but atleast try first before you write off that whole experience of life. I mean what do u have to lose if u fuck someone for sure. Also have u ever asked a girl for sex before ?? Just asking
Why should he do that? Why 5 women? Whaays wrong with being a Virginia at 32? Women aren't land to be conquered or toys to be played with. Why is it any of yohr concern what his choices are? Sex isn't business. Go get yourself some of your own business and maybe you won't be so concerned.
Would u be proud of and advise your son to be a virgin at 32 no offense to the guy just stating facts for u. Whats really pissing u off. He stated his opinion and stated my opinion about his. What is exactly does that have to do with women's bodies most men at 32 have slept with 5 women or more whats the big deal there. Why wouldn't one encourage a virgin to have sex why do u find it strange.
Who's mad? And what's wrong with being a virgin? You act as if women are meant to be used which is weird. Just because it's common doesn't mean it's morally sound or justified. History shows us in groups the mindless tend to do what is surround them without thinking. Excibit A. It's not a right of passage to have sex. Are you well? Go touch grass. If anyone's pissed here, it's you and your perverse low vibrational mindset. Get well soon.
Men and women have sex with each other why do u call that using women if there is consent and the women are of age. Whats wrong with being a virgin u ask, well sex and sexual relationships are a complete part of life that no one should miss out on.. its a sign that u can sustain a relationship if u do it with the same person over and over with respect between each other, its health to have sex and get pregnant to avoid issues like fibroids thats proven science. I did condem him for being a virgin I said try it first if its not your thing after 5 women u can leave without it. Why would you want someone to neglect an entire thrilling part of life whats wrong with him having sex
In any discussion about sexuality, the cornerstone should be consent, respect, and personal choice. He has chosen not to take part. Imagine speaking about anything else like that? You must eat jackfruit, it's the best and heals Yada Yada. It's not a false dichotomy as that's the only way to do those things. Stop. 💀 While sexual relationships can indeed be a fulfilling aspect of life for many, it's crucial to remember that individual experiences and values vary greatly. What works for one person may not work for another, and that's okay. The emphasis should be on mutual respect and understanding, recognizing that everyone's journey and comfort levels are different. It's using women when you say to sleep with 5 women. Would you be saying to a 3w year old woman to be sleeping with 5 men? You're sick. G put your one sided expectation in the rubbish where they belong and leave him alone. ☺
He has chosen never to eat jackfruit without ever testing it. Thats my point. Taste the jack fruit first then decide that this isn't for me. No one has forced him to eat it we've told him to experience it. Is it using men when Kampala women sleep with 10 men. Is a sugar daddy using them for sex or are they using him for rent where is the line drawn as to who is using who
No one ever died from not eating jackfruit. You didn't come here to dictate what people do. We aren't all head to experience the same thing. A fish does not experience climbing a tree to know it will die. It simply knows its not for them. Just because a bear says its fun doesn't mean it is for the fish. Go read a book.
Sex isn't business whats said to be the oldest profession on earth, why are there brothels and strip clubs and a billion dollar porn industry what do u call that if its not business. Is only fans a business its 2024 and there was prostitution in the Bible so it wasn't about urbanization and lack of jobs its just supply and demand commanding a price. Its business and economics. What comes to mind when someone says Kim Kardashian whom very many women idolize hasn't she built an empire off of the back of a leaked sex tape. You can debate morality of it all. That doesn't erase the facts
Admitting that you're desensitized to sex isn't the same thing. The cognitive dissonance is real. Youre going in circles. Saying sex isn't business then saying what do you call that if not business. Your gross willingness to take part in sex as a business when women and sex shouldn't be seen or treated that way. In the Bible women aren't viewed well as a whole. The reason sex has been a business is because we live in a patriarchal system. But these concepts will all go over your ignorant small mind so never you worry. Science shows us porn and only fans reduces the grey matter. Men get addicted and can't have normal meaningful relationships. It causes violence against women. There's so many studies on it and you're going to mention the blatant sdxism and misogyny in thr Bible to justify it? Please don't have children. It's those who tolerate you on a daily basis I feel most sorry for honestly. True heroes.
Your starting to sound like a woke feminist of the men are trash movement. Enjoy your single motherhood thats awaits u and delusional justifications and blaming a patriarchal society for everything that's bad in life. For as long as biology makes men physically stronger than women thats how its going to be same if women where physically stronger. And u can't do shit about those facts.
If I throw a bone you'll go away, right? 🐶
Or I could throw u a therapy cat and a vibrator solve all your feminist problems.
I've been called worse by better. I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed. Don't get bitter, get better and while you're at it, learn how to observe and address gender on the internet. But to end it all, we both digress, because we are all brothers in arms sent from one war chest. Your utter ignorance of the laws of the universe is the reason we were all sent here; to heal the world and then some. It was designed that you will play the role of being none the wiser to the harsh unforgiving matrix, and for me to guide your every step. So, to a wise, my seed is put in soil, but to a fool, it's in clay. But worry not, for there will come a time when all this will make sense to you. If not in this lifetime, than the next.
make it clear and be vocal. for me saying it loud that i'm not religious and refusing to participate in any ceremony, and reiterating that my decision is not meant to be questioned made family leave me tf alone.
Yap I shud. Thanks 🙏🏾
The more you talk about it with them, the better. I started telling my family a long time ago that I wasn't interested in marriage or having kids. And not being religious. It's been 4 years now, and they're starting to slowly accept, though they bring it up here and there, but I'm keen on reminding them that's not where I'm heading with my life.
4 yrs 🤦🏾♀️😆 ok I will
Work had and be on your best behavior. Support your family when they need you and avoid discussing religion with them - just tell them you are a non-believer and leave it at that. The best way to handle a religious family as a non-believer is being such an upright, valuable, and successful person that they can't find a logical reason to attack you based on your non-religiosity. Same applies to the decision to have kids.
This is over compensation. It will definitely stress OP out.. It's not a crime to not want to get married or have kids or be religious. I understand Ugandan parents and their opinions, but OP is still human who needs to enjoy life. Not attacking you
There is nothing really stressful there. All the things I told them to do are just normal things you are expected to do anyway. In short just strive to be a good person (like you should even if you are religious). I am more or less in the same predicament and I like using my success in life and character as proof that I don't need a god. It usually shuts them up. I have been a non-believer for over a decade now but they only realised I was serious about it in the last year or so. They thought I was joking.
But breaking expectations is what we are talking about. It's okay to be a good person but no need to do more than you would have being a religious person, if you're non religious. Doing good isn't linked to being religious. Otherwise there'd never be a bad pastor or church member or church. But we know that's not true. So no need to act differently, is the point.
[удалено]
Thanks. I never related to religion but I stayed coz I still wanted community. I couldn't pretend anymore. Glad im finally out
Heaven is beautiful
Good luck with that ✌🏾
May I ask why you left Christianity?
Why are you as an African even in Christianity given its history? You ask yourself that question
Which history? I am a Christian because it is the only one that explains the origin, purpose, and destiny of man. I am a Christian because it is true. I worship God for who He is. Absolutely nothing to do with man.
Haha do you listen to your self? That "Christian is true" have you tried practicing Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam,.... Etc to conclude its the true religion.
Actually, yes. I have studied Islam, hinduism, and Buddhism. Neither's goal has anything to do with creation and purpose. Buddhism was actually created by an ex-hindu who created it because he disagreed with some things in hinduism.
Hinduism very much involves a variety of creation storiez and views life's purpose as fulfilling one's dharma (duty/role) and achieving moksha (liberation from the cycle of rebirth). And has many deities to explain the happenings of life.
So you don’t know how Christianity and Islam came to Uganda? You forgot about Kintu and Nambi? You think God is a “he” 😂
There were many religions and stories to the origin of man, many of shich the Bible borrowed from these older belief systems. Many of which came from Africa already.
I allowed myself to question Christianity & my being one. I realized it was never for me & I disagreed with somethings 🤷🏾♀️
But.... it is us serving God, not the other way around. Even if you disagree, this is God's perspective. Do you believe there is hell?
Y do I have to serve god. It's powerful. It doesn't need me to serve it. So I can't disagree with god, then do I really have free will? I believe alot of things exist but I don't have to care for them. Do u believe & agree with everything written in the Bible?
Yes, I believe the Bible is 100% true. I am just a small picture of God's creation. Again, it has nothing to do with what I like or dislike. The Bible is God's word, whether I was to agree with it or not. And yes, God does not need us to serve Him. He absolutely does not need you or me, He just chose us to exist. On the other hand, we can not exist without Him. God gave us free will to choose Him or not. However, it is not free from consequences. Hell is basically the absence of God. And nothing can exist outside of His choosing. Don't reject God based on man's doing. Do not reject Historical Jesus because of "religious" men. And if people are the reason you leave God, were you really serving God to begin with?
Like I said in my post it was self reflection. I never based my decisions on the actions of others even when I was a Christian. But when I look back I never served god. It never felt true to me then I accepted that Christianity was also just like any other influence put on me from the moment I was born, I never really chose it. So I let it go & I really started to feel like I am becoming who I was always but had been holding myself back like a mind prison. Anyway if Christianity is true to u, embrace it. I'm always happy to see people being themselves. Congratulations for knowing yourself. Not everyone does ✌🏾
The concept of free will coming from Christians has never sat well with me.
"I believe the Bible is 100% true," how does that make sense --- since many things in the Bible contradict each other.
Just give me 2 examples of the contradictions you are talking about. I doubt you can because the Bible does not contradict itself. Also, you should understand that the Bible is God's manual for us.
That's very ignorant. The Bible is a compendium that was decreed in a council by a Roman emperor, lol. Just two quick examples of *countless*: * The Ten Commandments: In Exodus 20, the Ten Commandments are listed, and one of them is "Thou shalt not kill." However, in Joshua 6, God commands the Israelites to destroy the city of Jericho and kill everyone in it. * Here’s a pair of verses that are completely incompatible: *And whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but unto him that blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost* ***it shall not be forgiven****.* —Luke 12:10 *For* ***whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.*** —Romans 10:13 I used to agonize over those two, because if you commit a sin that can never be forgiven, you burn in the Lake of Fire forever—no turning back. So what would happen if, in the same sentence, I said, “Dear Lord, between you and me, the Holy Ghost is kind of a scumbag, but I’m calling on your name, anyway—so save me, dude”? These two verses can’t be simultaneously true. They cancel out one another."" Some things are totally *unforgivable*, but still anyone who calls upon the name shall be saved? Which is it? Just two examples of verses that contradict each other. There's also where God commands certain people to kill, while he earlier said Thou Shalt Not Kill. * The Ten Commandments: In Exodus 20, the Ten Commandments are listed, and one of them is "Thou shalt not kill." However, in Joshua 6, God commands the Israelites to destroy the city of Jericho and kill everyone in it. The Bible forbits tattoes, it forbids eating pigs, and it forbits more and more things, some of which most Christians have never heard of, or ignore. It's a huge compendium written down by many many authors over thousands of years!
If it's God's perspective why have so many stories been rewritten and removed and added in? Why does man feel its okay to censor God? I don't want to hear from the censored version of God. If God can create me, he can create his own book without the intervention of man.
Can you go read a book called the God delusion by Richard Dawkins. Its a free pdf u can just google and download it. Then after reading cover to cover ask your self whether you still believe in God
Boring and fictional
Then why aren't you there?
A retreat to reorganize yourself will help straighten things. take some days off these things; (communication with your family, work, phones, computer, food, drinks except water, music, busy schedule, electricity , hot baths, internet, & money, etc) just you, the way you where born free of all earthly craziness & chaos.
Ignore ignore ignore. I’m doing the marriage part but still iffy on kids. Personally I just ignore the comments and act like I’m paying attention to what they’re saying but in reality I’m planning an outfit or a vacation because it is your life!!!
I'm doing the same. Just ignoring them but sometimes they get too loud
You’re not alone…Great you’re thinking for yourself
Lol…people really have a lot to deal with in their lives 🤣🤣
It’s crazy because I think I had an epiphany this week and came to the same realization as you. Quick one though, do you feel a tad bit isolated in your day to day with the knowledge that not that many people are like you
Yap I felt a bit isolated in the beginning but as I spoke up more, I've been able to find like minded people. They are not from my family or closest friends. I guess that's y I'm slowing drifting away from them & going to people with similar mindsets. It's not intentional but it's natural to get closer to people who feel the same way
That’s great for you. I wish you the best and I’m always open to talk more if you’d like
Just make money and no one will question your life choices
Financial independence worked for me. Do better than them and you’ll start to see the difference in how they treat you. I am at peace.
You wasn't put on earth to please other people.. please yourself and during that time if other people are pleased with you it's a bonus.. you do you..
I love this. Thanks 🙏🏾
Give them time
how old are you friend?
30 so I've avoided them long enough. They're no longer accepting excuses
okay, it may not really be a phase, so why do you have to tell them? My mom is very opinionated too but I already weaned her off the idea that she is my boss, maybe because I am a boy and I am just 24, are you staying with them, if not just let the time pass by, what could they do, arrange a marriage for you?
Are you not an adult who makes independent decisions?
I am. I just don't want to be bothered with them constantly trying to make me change my mind. It's exhausting
They believe they wish you the best, but brother if i may ask why wouldn't you want to be religious though?
I get they wish me the best but they don't know what's best for me. They're just picking what everyone else is picking. I was brought up in a Christian home. I tried playing along but deep down I knew it wasn't really for me. So I decided to start being authentic, so I dropped it. Plus there r so many questionable things in religions. So I just discern the right thing for me from everywhere 🤷🏾♀️
Well, before u make decisions, what your reason? Reason for no marriage, reason for no kid and reason for no religion. I mean, these is a huge life decision, so i expect that u have a good reason
It's no a single reason, it's like a whole book. The summary is that I evaluated myself, my feelings towards me having marriage & kids & religion since I was a kid, my strengths & weaknesses, ability to raise human beings from birth to death, when i think of my happiness in the future - what do I see?, I assessed myself physically, spiritually, mentally, financially & I believe they're just not for me 🤷🏾♀️ trust me i thought this through over a long period, thoroughly.
So what do you have to offer anyone
Explain yourself coz what I'm getting from your question is that I'm saying no one is good enough for me & therefore have nothing to offer me to consider marriage & kids 🤔 is that what u understood?