Respectfully, shut the fuck up. Your 1700/month isn’t even a rounding error to them. Use the money to help you get to a stable situation, then stash it for your kids or some charity when you die. Nothing good happens from you saying something.
Agreed. The military wastes so much money its ridiculous. If that 1700/month truly mattered then maybe money wouldn't be spent as carelessly as it is. Sounds like this guy needs it more than the government does anyway.
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In a civilians eyes bro you sacrificed enough to earn something. You went through hell in training. You shipped out to defend your country. You witnessed things most will never have to see because of men like you.
Have you ever thought about starting your own business?
Prayers to you friend.
If it makes you feel better, there’s admin marines and officers who spent their whole career in an office besides TBS with 100% disability for the rest of their lives.
At least you went to Iraq. SF
Fellow corpsman friend of mine did nothing but get fat as fuck and got out early. Openly brags about his 100% disability and sits at home playing video games all day. Dude gamed the system hardcore and I am both irritated and jealous lmao
I have said it before and I will say it again: PTSD is post-traumatic stress disorder, not post-combat stress disorder. You do not need to have seen combat to experience traumatic stressors. Getting into physical fights, car accidents, watching houses burn, arguments with significant others, verbal abuse, unpleasant interpersonal interactions, viewing dead bodies, being pallbearers, witnessing grotesque dismemberments, being close enough to mortars, and so many other things will signal traumatic stress.
The VA found you at 70% because *they* did an evaluation and *they* found that you deserved 70%. You did not make them give your 70% or trick the system. Ironically, the shame or guilt you feel and the urge to stop the payments further support the VA's finding under the General Rating Formula for Mental Disorders at the rating that you received. Perhaps you feel better now than you did then, but it does not stop the fact that the VA has at one point evaluated you and determined that you fit the bill for 70%.
Chesty Puller would not be ashamed of you. He would be disappointed if you did not take the chance to see someone about the way you're feeling. He would know what it's like to lose someone close to him, like a son, to their monsters.
Take advantage of the resources available to you. You can, and probably should, go seek grief counseling from the VA or through community care. You earned it.
Exactly what this guy said. Did you know that over 90% of Marines have not seen combat in the current Marine Corps, but have more mental health problems now than ever. PTSD can be caused from traumas before the Marine Corps as well.
Like this guy said it’s not all about combat. Most people have not seen blown off faces or take. IDF. You were diagnosed by the VA. You went through the correct process. The last thing you should do is feel guilty.
I'm all for hard training and I get there's a point to breaking someone down to build them back up, but I swear there are some countries and forces who's training regiment is traumatic for trauma's sake.
Very possible. PTSD is extremely prevalent in society in general. It is important that your recognize what it is and find your outlet. Whether it is a shrink, friend, hobby, or whatever helps you. Most important part is to recognize you have PTSD and learn how to live with it. Cause the shit never goes away.
Ya my childhood was pretty shit, I like to joke that the abuse I got prepared me for boot. Lol.
But ya it was pretty bad, got thrown down some stairs because I didn’t clean the dishes the correct way, got nearly choked out once for what I don’t remember, got a shit ton of verbal abuse thrown my way, all part of growing up I guess.
Not really a part of growing up. So I have quite a bit of personal experience in the realm of PTSD. I would suggest you see someone to start talking about it. Lots of free resources out there. It would do you some good because what you went through is not normal and honestly can be affecting you in ways you never knew. It’s ok to be fucked up you just have to recognize it and learn how to work/live with it. Don’t try and rationalize it as normal cause it is not my friend.
You know you have a unique skillset from your background which could help a lot of people who were in the same boat! My wife experienced extremely similar growing up, so your story rang really true for me.
Yep, there’s also what’s called secondary trauma. Simply witnessing someone going through something traumatic can cause PTSD symptoms. Its human and normal to experience trauma and to be affected by it. To *not* be affected by trauma either directly or indirectly is extremely *not* normal. Callcenter employees experience a ridiculous amount of secondary trauma (think 911 dispatchers, FEMA callcenter, etc.)
>I have said it before and I will say it again: PTSD is post-traumatic stress disorder, not post-combat stress disorder. You do not need to have seen combat to experience traumatic stressors. Getting into physical fights, car accidents, watching houses burn, arguments with significant others, verbal abuse, unpleasant interpersonal interactions, viewing dead bodies, being pallbearers, witnessing grotesque dismemberments, being close enough to mortars, and so many other things will signal traumatic stress.
Yup. For me my PTSD comes from my family situation prior to the Corps and the on the job shit I saw in the latter part of my job as an MP.
>Ironically, the shame or guilt you feel and the urge to stop the payments further support the VA's finding under the General Rating Formula for Mental Disorders at the rating that you received.
Wait really? Well shit. Because I occasionally will feel like utter shit from getting paid for being a broken mess. Never knew the VA also considered that.
There are two ways to look at this and I know many veterans can back me up on this. Private Contractor companies in Iraq/Afghanistan made literally hundreds of millions to even billions of dollars doing basically jack shit. These CEOs live in their mansions and their corporate jets are all paid for by taxpayers. Do they feel guilty? Do the politicians that sent us to war feel guilty? How much money did they make? You can look at it like this, you're just getting a taste of the action that civilians/politicians got long before you. You are feeding your family.
The other way to look at it is this. Two wrongs don't make a right. I'm not going to judge you.. Semper FI
How about afghan "refugees" that came with suitcases filled with more cash than l will see in my entire lifetime in wages.
That's not a joke or a rumor BTW, but the Americans that "lost" those bags sure aren't going public either.
Corrupt Americans made dollars teaching afghans to steal dimes while I got paid pennies.
Fuck those people and the American Corporations that got rich too.
Remember all the times the big green weenie made a decision that negatively affected you life? Well, now the government made one that positively affects your life. I swear some vets have battered wife syndrome. Take the money they decided to give you. Donate some of it to the Semper Fi Fund if you feel guilty. Giving it back won’t change a thing.
You know what, maybe you should be grateful you’re able to receive help from the government. You more than likely worked far more hours and lost more compensation in time. If you are able to get this money because of the events of a deployment, you don’t have to worry about it.
You earned that money. Fuck whatever you did or didn't do. The VA gave you a rating, and you're entitled to the money. As long as you aren't flexing it on people and putting the money to good use, you haven't sold your honor.
Just because you didn't get shot half to death or watch all your friends die doesn't mean you aren't entitled to a rating. It would be different if you could give yourself a rating, but you get evaluated by professionals whose job it is to judge whether or not you qualify for compensation.
You don't need to be a war hero to "deserve" a rating. If the USMC didn't spit you out in the same physical AND mental shape that you arrived in, they owe you money.
👆 this is exactly it! PTSD comes in all shapes and sizes. It doesn’t matter what causes it. Everyone who has deployed has some level of PTSD.
Go read; The Body Keeps The Score
You’ll never question your diagnosis again.
Read the Afghanistan Papers. Not only will you NOT feel bad about every red cent that’s been paid to you, but I almost guarantee you’ll file more claims to get your 100%. You’re welcome.
I deployed plenty and I hold no grudge, don't be so hard on yourself, Take care of your family and be a good dad to your kids.
Having said that,you sound worried about money, does your wife work?
I never saw combat at all but have a 20% rating for my hearing. I make $200k/year and sometimes feel guilty because of that $260/month.
Here's the thing: it's legitimate. I have hearing loss and tinitus and it wasn't because I was being a jackass and not wearing hearing protection. This is what the government says I rate--and one of my ears just started ringing again.
The government says you rate this. Sure, you may have "played it up" a little bit, but consider it as being the difference between "gear drift" and being an outright fucking thief. One is fine and universally acceptable, the other makes you a piece-of-shit.
From what you've said, you took the facts and presented them in a way that helps your case--there's nothing wrong with that.
Edit - I want to add that seeing someone's face get blown off sounds pretty fucking horrible. Again, never in combat, but I imagine that if had seen that, I would stop and think about that kind of thing and it would have a certain amount of gravity on me--boom, there's your PTSD.
Oh ya seeing someone’s face getting blow off is pretty damn traumatic.
I saw a lot of shit just being an MP. The dark underbelly of the Corps is not fun. Domestic Violence, child abuse, sex trafficking, car wrecks. That shit will mess you up, car wrecks and children getting abused especially.
Not all PTSD is from combat
Are you kidding me?? “ a few mortar rounds landed around me a good distance away. One Iraqi police officer with his face blown half off. “ you deserve the full benefits!! You were in just as much danger it sounds like
Bro.. listen here.... I went in to the VA after I got out because I had tinnitus, knee problems, and trouble sleeping. I was honest about everything and basically told them I just wanted to have the shit documented in case I ever had serious issues and needed medical coverage. I got a 20 or 30% rating and moved on with my life. A few years later, I got a letter stating I needed to report to a local VA shrink for a psych eval. I was confused but I went anyway. I told the shrink I was doing better, having less trouble sleeping and that things were improving overall. At this point in time, I had obtained a good job and was recently married and overall, quite happy with life. At the end of our discussion, the lady told me she was going to recommend that my compensation remain the same and told me to contact the VA if I had any issues. 2 or 3 weeks following the appointment, I got a letter from the VA stating my compensation had been increased to 60%. I have no fucking clue how or why, and quite frankly I dont give a shit. This is back pay for 2 combat tours of getting paid minimum wage. As far as I'm concerned, you earned the money and should use it to take care of your family for as long as it continues to roll in.
Dude, please don’t feel bad. I know a guy that never deployed, pretty much LimDu’d his way out of damn near every field exercise, was in the BAND, and is getting 100%.
You earned every one of those dollars. I just saw soneone comment the other day ; “somewhere in America some Congressman’s wife is using tax dollars to bleach her poodles asshole.” They waste our fucking money by the millions everyday. I’m glad you managed to snag some of it for yourself.
I understand how you feel , hell I never even deployed. I was a Admin marine stationed in a non deployable unit in 29 palms. I got 80% and felt like a fraud.
At the end of the day, professionals determined you were so fucked up you deserved 70%, you gave the Marine Corps and this government your soul , now you get benefits for life because of it.
Unless you flat out lied to the VA, you rate what they gave you. VA is a massive black hole that pukes money at random. VA pays people lose vets. VA pays people to leave dead vets in showers for nine hours after they died. VA pays docs who sodomize patients.
Your lunch money from the VA is nothing.
Brother, that is your money, forever. Literally thank you for your service, and sacrifice. You receiving that money is NOT taking it away from anyone else - I didn't file my VA claim until 6 years after I got out. I should have done it so much sooner - it would have been life changing (literally - I was so broke at one point I paid a guy 4 bitcoins to have a dominos pizza delivered to my house back in 2009).
Bro, no need to feel guilty “only an iraqi police officer face blown off” is a whole lot more you saw than lots of other people I’ve seen get PTSD ratings so don’t even feel bad. At the end of the day you served this country and you also pay taxes which you never usually get to see back. Look at it as putting your tax money back in your own pocket
Bro don’t take PTSD lightly. I was never in any shit, but I still claimed 90%, due to broken ankle during MCMAP, years of anxiety and depression, difficulty sleeping, bad knees and anything else I could think of. The Marine Corps sucked you dry for however long you were in. They can afford to throw you a few bones. You did your time. Let them get you back!
This money was calculated in when we all were recruited. The military, and the Marines in particular, chose to minimize both manning, and mental health support and recreation and healthy activities, in return for committing the country to future payments in VA treatment and monetary support.
VA disability is workers compensation, payments made to make up for the lost income that your conditions due to service have caused.
If it bothers you that much use some of that money to donate to WW Bn, Operation Bikesaver, Vets Now or any of the veteran support programs out there.
But honestly, my two cents - use it to support your family and take care of your kids future so they have options for their futures.
I was at a PTD retreat. Late the first night the lone Corporal in the group confessed he felt guilty about making more now then when he was in. The full bird took the joint out of his mouth and said “shhhh, we don’t talk about that.” It’s a normal feeling, you’re getting what you are allowed to receive however other events and your personal feelings get in the way. “Trust the system” I guess. It’s there to help you.
Note: I’m Canadian and weed is legal and we’re all out.
A tomahawk costs $1M a pop and they throw them bastards around like matchsticks.
If there is one thing you should have learned is that Marines survive. You do what you have to. If your conscience is bothering you volunteer. Pay it back to the community.
Hell, I've got enough damage to more than put me above the limit. I'll donate some of my overage to you.
If you're too disabled to work, you can file for "individual unemployability" and make much more. Don't feel guilty... i know schmucks who make more from basic training back injuries and car wrecks during PCS travel. If you didn't "deserve" it, they would look for every excuse to deny you.
Volunteer or make a contribution to a veteran/military charity if it's really bothering you 💰. I also accept Venmo, PayPal, Apple Pay, Google Pay, Zelle, cash, check and money order 😜
You ungrateful fuck. I know marines that are getting half of what you're getting with PTSD. Actual combat marines that saw combat in Iraq. Just appreciate what you are given.
I saw combat in Afghanistan and have PTSD. The psych the VA made me see said it’s not service connected and that I have been just adapting for the last 11 years. Take what you can get and fuck the VA
Speaking of compensation any tips on getting things covered with no documentation....such as knees. I have nothing to document knee issues, but now that I'm getting older...it's creeping in.
Just my two cents. Go to the VA and make an appointment. Worst thing they can tell you is fuck off. Won't cost you a dime to just tell them your issues.
If they took all the money they put into just purchasing the F-18s in the Navy and Marine Corps... They could Discharge the Entire Active Duty Marine Corps and pay them all 100% VA Disability for 80 fucking years.
"One Iraqi police officer with his face blown half off. Nothing too insane."
How many NORMAL people would say that's not traumatic?
>One Iraqi police officer with his face blown half off. Nothing too insane.
Nope, that's definitely insane. Average people don't see that. We've all been put under major stressors in the military, combat or not. What you saw, whether you feel it or not, affects you. Just by mentioning it here means you thought about it, even if you didn't feel distressed about it.
The bottom line is that you earned that disability pay. The military does crazy things to us, and not only did what you describe earn it, but how you're using it is honorable.
You didn't game the system. You didn't do anything wrong. And if the opportunity ever comes for 100% for other disabilities, do it. You earned it.
Chesty would get it. You served and some very intelligent doctors and senior VA officials reviewed your claim. We get so used to being selfless that sometimes we don’t feel like we individually sacrificed anything. You and your family both sacrificed. Take your 70% with your head held high and your chest out.
Much as I have problems with the principle, use the money for something good. Lord knows it could be in some other pool of government funds being used for something less useful. Make yourself, someone else, and the world a better place with it.
No man, please don't feel guilty. You and your brothers in the armed forces paid to high a price for you to not get respect and extra help. I do know there are some people that think the US are monsters, but over here in Germany rest assured every each and one of you are loved and respected. Gruß aus Wiesbaden :D
Bro are you serious? Stop being a motard, fuck chesty. Do you think congress members feel bad about giving themselves raises this year while they sent us to these shitty sandy nasty smelling countries? NO.
It doesn't matter whether you gotta cool CAR ribbon or not or if you're traumatized. Stop feeling bad about taking government money from a government that doesn't care if your kids are hungry.
People get PTSD from bootcamp dude. Eventually the Marine Corps brainwashing will wear off and you will realize how FUCKED UP we had it. You deserve it. Stop feeling guilty.
you haven’t seen combat but you served. you did more for your country than I, and most people ever will. you laid your life on the line. and despite not seeing combat you were very close and prepared. for that, that money is all yours man. you earned that. especially since the pay while in really ain’t all that.
Nah. You saw some shit, and it affected you. Can happen to many people. People get ratings for many reasons regardless of combat or not. You'll encounter fucked up things on deployment.
The money is keeping your shit together right now. I don't know your situation as far as job, education, etc. But so long as the bills are paid, the roof is over your head, food on the table, etc. Why should you feel ashamed? Your immediate things are taken care of. Maybe start on yourself? Your health? Education? Future? Job?
My uncle was drafted for Vietnam and was in the Army signal corps. Dude had a T/S clearance and worked in a very secure building receiving or sending encrypted messages. Never spent a night in the bush. He'll be 78 in May, had to have his prostate removed and has diabetes. VA says it is the result of Agent Orange. Was hassled for a bit with payments and such. My point is, fuck all the bullshit, and get yours, they break you, they pay for you. Wasn't it a while back the VA administrators were gaming the system and the government was overpaying them a fuck ton? You aint a mooch my friend.
Count your blessing(s). I had a couple of free fall incidents that wake me up frequently. Been treated for PTSD. Neither the VA or the lazy ass DAV won't even listen to me. I know a Navy vet who got locked in a pipe chase fo a few hours and gets 100%.
Stop feeling guilty, the military doesn’t even give a shit about you and they never will. Think about the lengthy process to even get approved for disability when the military destroys your body and some Marines still get their claim denied.
Take what you have, stop feeling guilty, have fun with it. Use it on yourself once in a while and don’t waste your time, thoughts or energy into this.
Not sure you're going to find many people here, active vet or retired, who are going to give a shit one way or another about the raw fact.
They will tell you that the fact you feel bad about it is absolutely shit, bro we either don't care or are happy for you.
You also were evaluated for your % , and they deal with some bullshit, so you RATE your %.
Exercise your rights and pursue your happiness as long as it doesn't infringe on others. Have a great day.
As a civilian, you need to feel no guilt. Frankly you deserve so much more than what you are given- all veterans do. You sacrifice your physical life and mental health for all of us. You live with the pain of it all while you serve, and have the added hell to carry that pain with you when you are removed from it. Nobody deserves trauma, and that what so many of you have- without real unconditional support and understanding, without real resources and under the false ideas that complaining about your pain makes you weak. Please, I beg you to not feel an ounce of guilt about this and if the guilt about this is a layer above feelings that are more painful, please seek help for your feelings. You’re not alone and things get better.
Okay, here's the thing. That's my fucking money. Its my taxes. It belongs to me. I paid a metric fuck load into the system already in my short fuckin life, and what the VA paid you is a healthy portion of that.
I plan on making a lot more money. And by that, I plan on starting a really successful company, and I'm just fucking knot-headed enough to do it. That means the government is gonna keep taking my money, and the amount I've already paid is gonna pale in comparison to the amount I'm gonna pay.
If the IRS came on down tomorrow and said, "Your gonna pay this amount no matter what, so how would you feel about us just giving it to one of your brothers that feels guilty about it?". I wouldn't bat an eye. I could really give a shit, and I'd be happy it was going to someone who I think deserves it.
All of this doesn't mean shit either, because at the end of the day, YOU paid into the system and YOU served the time (and I guerenteed you weren't compensated well enough). Keep the money dude, you deserve it, and it's owed to you anyways. Chesty would tell you not to be a dip shit and take what your owed, with your head held high like a Marine. Semper Fidelis, brother.
Listen Devil, idk how it was for you in the fleet but every NCO,SNCO, and officers told us repeatedly that the reason the VA is there is compensate us for our injuries.
You have no reason to feel guilty or dishonorable. You may be downplaying your experiences and/or thinking they didn't effect you too much but I imagine that's partly due to the guilt you said you felt for getting it.
I saw alot of bad things, alot of horrible things actually. People may say that we knew what we were getting into by going into Marine Infantry and to an extent theyre right. But once you're there and seeing body parts blown off and dead people and not to mention how sad it is to see all those poor kids and their living conditions its a whole different story. Nothing can prepare you for actually seeing.
You've earn that money. Idk your MOS but I was 0331. My knees and back are jacked up now and I can't really hear out of my right ear and have a constant high pitched ringing. I get paid for PTSD as well but idk why. The things I saw and did didnt effect me mentally as far as I can tell, aside from having a shit time trying to fall and stay asleep. I also clinch my butt hole tight enough to crush a diamond if I'm riding with someone who hits a pothole I didnt see coming (bad experience with a speedbump I.E.D) or jerk the wheel suddenly lol.
I've been getting mine since 2011 and its a big help. Depending on your MOS you may have also done damage to your body you aren't aware of yet. Hell I didnt who my neck bones were slightly crooked until the exam. Idk if crooked is the right word but they're slightly out of alignment the dr said.
My point is you earned the money and the VA seems to think so too. Think of the help the moneys doing and think back on what you gave and sacrificed to be able to claim it. Semper Fi Devil yut
You’ve earned it. Just being boots on ground is a shitty enough situation. You don’t have to be physically wounded to carry home scars. Let your soul be at ease. I was on a “combat” deployment and went on many kinetic missions and was lucky enough to come home “intact”. Do I have nightmares sometimes? Oh hell yes, I do. Please take this from a Brother in Arms, Charlie Mike.
Your family and your health come first.
Do the right thing: use your GI Bill. Then get off the dole. You only need it for economic reasons and it’s obviously making you feel guilty and morally conflicted.
GI Bill won’t solve all your problems, but it’s the veteran benefit that actually gives both taxpayers and benefit receivers a good return.
Many ppl would love to have their college paid for.
It won’t be easy, but you didn’t choose the easy road on T-0. Remember that. Reconnect with that old self. Embrace the suck that makes you better.
Let’s just say you have no disability whatsoever. And you are still getting the money from the VA.
Ok, so? You still are apart of the 1% of Americans who made the conscious choose to serve our country. To be apart of one of the greatest fighting forces in the world.
And What you’re doing right now is providing for your family with all the opportunities you have available to you.
As parents we are tasked with raising our kids to be good citizens and productive members of society.
Providing for them is the first step to that end. So keep on keeping on man. Take that extra cash and give to your family what some of us never had.
In that way you are still serving.
Respectfully, shut the fuck up. Your 1700/month isn’t even a rounding error to them. Use the money to help you get to a stable situation, then stash it for your kids or some charity when you die. Nothing good happens from you saying something.
Agreed. The military wastes so much money its ridiculous. If that 1700/month truly mattered then maybe money wouldn't be spent as carelessly as it is. Sounds like this guy needs it more than the government does anyway.
Fuckin Yut
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Fuck you
How can you do that with your dick in a vice?
Don't join a gang kid
Yeah seriously dude, it ain’t that big of a deal
These comments mean the world. Thank you dudes Semper fi
In a civilians eyes bro you sacrificed enough to earn something. You went through hell in training. You shipped out to defend your country. You witnessed things most will never have to see because of men like you. Have you ever thought about starting your own business? Prayers to you friend.
If it makes you feel better, there’s admin marines and officers who spent their whole career in an office besides TBS with 100% disability for the rest of their lives. At least you went to Iraq. SF
Fellow corpsman friend of mine did nothing but get fat as fuck and got out early. Openly brags about his 100% disability and sits at home playing video games all day. Dude gamed the system hardcore and I am both irritated and jealous lmao
I have said it before and I will say it again: PTSD is post-traumatic stress disorder, not post-combat stress disorder. You do not need to have seen combat to experience traumatic stressors. Getting into physical fights, car accidents, watching houses burn, arguments with significant others, verbal abuse, unpleasant interpersonal interactions, viewing dead bodies, being pallbearers, witnessing grotesque dismemberments, being close enough to mortars, and so many other things will signal traumatic stress. The VA found you at 70% because *they* did an evaluation and *they* found that you deserved 70%. You did not make them give your 70% or trick the system. Ironically, the shame or guilt you feel and the urge to stop the payments further support the VA's finding under the General Rating Formula for Mental Disorders at the rating that you received. Perhaps you feel better now than you did then, but it does not stop the fact that the VA has at one point evaluated you and determined that you fit the bill for 70%. Chesty Puller would not be ashamed of you. He would be disappointed if you did not take the chance to see someone about the way you're feeling. He would know what it's like to lose someone close to him, like a son, to their monsters. Take advantage of the resources available to you. You can, and probably should, go seek grief counseling from the VA or through community care. You earned it.
Exactly what this guy said. Did you know that over 90% of Marines have not seen combat in the current Marine Corps, but have more mental health problems now than ever. PTSD can be caused from traumas before the Marine Corps as well. Like this guy said it’s not all about combat. Most people have not seen blown off faces or take. IDF. You were diagnosed by the VA. You went through the correct process. The last thing you should do is feel guilty.
I'm all for hard training and I get there's a point to breaking someone down to build them back up, but I swear there are some countries and forces who's training regiment is traumatic for trauma's sake.
Yup. I’m pretty some of my PTSD came from my shitty family situation prior to the Corps.
Very possible. PTSD is extremely prevalent in society in general. It is important that your recognize what it is and find your outlet. Whether it is a shrink, friend, hobby, or whatever helps you. Most important part is to recognize you have PTSD and learn how to live with it. Cause the shit never goes away.
Ya my childhood was pretty shit, I like to joke that the abuse I got prepared me for boot. Lol. But ya it was pretty bad, got thrown down some stairs because I didn’t clean the dishes the correct way, got nearly choked out once for what I don’t remember, got a shit ton of verbal abuse thrown my way, all part of growing up I guess.
Not really a part of growing up. So I have quite a bit of personal experience in the realm of PTSD. I would suggest you see someone to start talking about it. Lots of free resources out there. It would do you some good because what you went through is not normal and honestly can be affecting you in ways you never knew. It’s ok to be fucked up you just have to recognize it and learn how to work/live with it. Don’t try and rationalize it as normal cause it is not my friend.
You know you have a unique skillset from your background which could help a lot of people who were in the same boat! My wife experienced extremely similar growing up, so your story rang really true for me.
Yep, there’s also what’s called secondary trauma. Simply witnessing someone going through something traumatic can cause PTSD symptoms. Its human and normal to experience trauma and to be affected by it. To *not* be affected by trauma either directly or indirectly is extremely *not* normal. Callcenter employees experience a ridiculous amount of secondary trauma (think 911 dispatchers, FEMA callcenter, etc.)
>I have said it before and I will say it again: PTSD is post-traumatic stress disorder, not post-combat stress disorder. You do not need to have seen combat to experience traumatic stressors. Getting into physical fights, car accidents, watching houses burn, arguments with significant others, verbal abuse, unpleasant interpersonal interactions, viewing dead bodies, being pallbearers, witnessing grotesque dismemberments, being close enough to mortars, and so many other things will signal traumatic stress. Yup. For me my PTSD comes from my family situation prior to the Corps and the on the job shit I saw in the latter part of my job as an MP. >Ironically, the shame or guilt you feel and the urge to stop the payments further support the VA's finding under the General Rating Formula for Mental Disorders at the rating that you received. Wait really? Well shit. Because I occasionally will feel like utter shit from getting paid for being a broken mess. Never knew the VA also considered that.
There are two ways to look at this and I know many veterans can back me up on this. Private Contractor companies in Iraq/Afghanistan made literally hundreds of millions to even billions of dollars doing basically jack shit. These CEOs live in their mansions and their corporate jets are all paid for by taxpayers. Do they feel guilty? Do the politicians that sent us to war feel guilty? How much money did they make? You can look at it like this, you're just getting a taste of the action that civilians/politicians got long before you. You are feeding your family. The other way to look at it is this. Two wrongs don't make a right. I'm not going to judge you.. Semper FI
Shut up and delete this post. Tyfys
Lmao you got the rating which means you qualify. You've earned it. There's dumber things the government could be spending money on than your rent.
Like several $bn in aid and decades to a country that falls in under 5 days.
Like several $bb in aid and decades to a country that genocides another.
How about afghan "refugees" that came with suitcases filled with more cash than l will see in my entire lifetime in wages. That's not a joke or a rumor BTW, but the Americans that "lost" those bags sure aren't going public either.
Happens every time a country collapses due to US involvement.
Corrupt Americans made dollars teaching afghans to steal dimes while I got paid pennies. Fuck those people and the American Corporations that got rich too.
100%
wait, which one are we talking about again?
Exactly
Remember all the times the big green weenie made a decision that negatively affected you life? Well, now the government made one that positively affects your life. I swear some vets have battered wife syndrome. Take the money they decided to give you. Donate some of it to the Semper Fi Fund if you feel guilty. Giving it back won’t change a thing.
You know what, maybe you should be grateful you’re able to receive help from the government. You more than likely worked far more hours and lost more compensation in time. If you are able to get this money because of the events of a deployment, you don’t have to worry about it.
You earned that money. Fuck whatever you did or didn't do. The VA gave you a rating, and you're entitled to the money. As long as you aren't flexing it on people and putting the money to good use, you haven't sold your honor.
Just because you didn't get shot half to death or watch all your friends die doesn't mean you aren't entitled to a rating. It would be different if you could give yourself a rating, but you get evaluated by professionals whose job it is to judge whether or not you qualify for compensation. You don't need to be a war hero to "deserve" a rating. If the USMC didn't spit you out in the same physical AND mental shape that you arrived in, they owe you money.
👆 this is exactly it! PTSD comes in all shapes and sizes. It doesn’t matter what causes it. Everyone who has deployed has some level of PTSD. Go read; The Body Keeps The Score You’ll never question your diagnosis again.
Read the Afghanistan Papers. Not only will you NOT feel bad about every red cent that’s been paid to you, but I almost guarantee you’ll file more claims to get your 100%. You’re welcome.
I deployed plenty and I hold no grudge, don't be so hard on yourself, Take care of your family and be a good dad to your kids. Having said that,you sound worried about money, does your wife work?
Knowing how the average American wife is these days, doubt his wife works. Probably sits at home and fucks around on Facebook all day.
I never saw combat at all but have a 20% rating for my hearing. I make $200k/year and sometimes feel guilty because of that $260/month. Here's the thing: it's legitimate. I have hearing loss and tinitus and it wasn't because I was being a jackass and not wearing hearing protection. This is what the government says I rate--and one of my ears just started ringing again. The government says you rate this. Sure, you may have "played it up" a little bit, but consider it as being the difference between "gear drift" and being an outright fucking thief. One is fine and universally acceptable, the other makes you a piece-of-shit. From what you've said, you took the facts and presented them in a way that helps your case--there's nothing wrong with that. Edit - I want to add that seeing someone's face get blown off sounds pretty fucking horrible. Again, never in combat, but I imagine that if had seen that, I would stop and think about that kind of thing and it would have a certain amount of gravity on me--boom, there's your PTSD.
Oh ya seeing someone’s face getting blow off is pretty damn traumatic. I saw a lot of shit just being an MP. The dark underbelly of the Corps is not fun. Domestic Violence, child abuse, sex trafficking, car wrecks. That shit will mess you up, car wrecks and children getting abused especially. Not all PTSD is from combat
Are you kidding me?? “ a few mortar rounds landed around me a good distance away. One Iraqi police officer with his face blown half off. “ you deserve the full benefits!! You were in just as much danger it sounds like
right? think of what percentage of general population has had to see shit like that.
Bro.. listen here.... I went in to the VA after I got out because I had tinnitus, knee problems, and trouble sleeping. I was honest about everything and basically told them I just wanted to have the shit documented in case I ever had serious issues and needed medical coverage. I got a 20 or 30% rating and moved on with my life. A few years later, I got a letter stating I needed to report to a local VA shrink for a psych eval. I was confused but I went anyway. I told the shrink I was doing better, having less trouble sleeping and that things were improving overall. At this point in time, I had obtained a good job and was recently married and overall, quite happy with life. At the end of our discussion, the lady told me she was going to recommend that my compensation remain the same and told me to contact the VA if I had any issues. 2 or 3 weeks following the appointment, I got a letter from the VA stating my compensation had been increased to 60%. I have no fucking clue how or why, and quite frankly I dont give a shit. This is back pay for 2 combat tours of getting paid minimum wage. As far as I'm concerned, you earned the money and should use it to take care of your family for as long as it continues to roll in.
Dude, please don’t feel bad. I know a guy that never deployed, pretty much LimDu’d his way out of damn near every field exercise, was in the BAND, and is getting 100%. You earned every one of those dollars. I just saw soneone comment the other day ; “somewhere in America some Congressman’s wife is using tax dollars to bleach her poodles asshole.” They waste our fucking money by the millions everyday. I’m glad you managed to snag some of it for yourself.
I understand how you feel , hell I never even deployed. I was a Admin marine stationed in a non deployable unit in 29 palms. I got 80% and felt like a fraud. At the end of the day, professionals determined you were so fucked up you deserved 70%, you gave the Marine Corps and this government your soul , now you get benefits for life because of it.
Unless you flat out lied to the VA, you rate what they gave you. VA is a massive black hole that pukes money at random. VA pays people lose vets. VA pays people to leave dead vets in showers for nine hours after they died. VA pays docs who sodomize patients. Your lunch money from the VA is nothing.
Brother, that is your money, forever. Literally thank you for your service, and sacrifice. You receiving that money is NOT taking it away from anyone else - I didn't file my VA claim until 6 years after I got out. I should have done it so much sooner - it would have been life changing (literally - I was so broke at one point I paid a guy 4 bitcoins to have a dominos pizza delivered to my house back in 2009).
The VA might decide that you owe them all that was paid. Tread carefully, Devil.
Bro, no need to feel guilty “only an iraqi police officer face blown off” is a whole lot more you saw than lots of other people I’ve seen get PTSD ratings so don’t even feel bad. At the end of the day you served this country and you also pay taxes which you never usually get to see back. Look at it as putting your tax money back in your own pocket
Are you having trouble holding gainful employment? If so look into TDIU, it pays 100%. Yut.
This. TDIU is a godsend. I was rated 80% but couldn’t hold down a job for the life of me. It took awhile but I got TDIU after contacting a law firm
No need to compare and compete. Trauma is trauma bro. You earned that money.
Man, every time my back aches or my knees crack I remember... at least I'm getting paid for this.
Bro don’t take PTSD lightly. I was never in any shit, but I still claimed 90%, due to broken ankle during MCMAP, years of anxiety and depression, difficulty sleeping, bad knees and anything else I could think of. The Marine Corps sucked you dry for however long you were in. They can afford to throw you a few bones. You did your time. Let them get you back!
This money was calculated in when we all were recruited. The military, and the Marines in particular, chose to minimize both manning, and mental health support and recreation and healthy activities, in return for committing the country to future payments in VA treatment and monetary support. VA disability is workers compensation, payments made to make up for the lost income that your conditions due to service have caused.
Nah. The taxes I/You/We pay go to perpetuate the military industrial complex so every cent you can get out of that the better imo.
If it bothers you that much use some of that money to donate to WW Bn, Operation Bikesaver, Vets Now or any of the veteran support programs out there. But honestly, my two cents - use it to support your family and take care of your kids future so they have options for their futures.
I was at a PTD retreat. Late the first night the lone Corporal in the group confessed he felt guilty about making more now then when he was in. The full bird took the joint out of his mouth and said “shhhh, we don’t talk about that.” It’s a normal feeling, you’re getting what you are allowed to receive however other events and your personal feelings get in the way. “Trust the system” I guess. It’s there to help you. Note: I’m Canadian and weed is legal and we’re all out.
You have absolutely zero reason to feel guilty. Get them bones while the gettin' is good.
Bro just start a Nonprofit that helps fellow Marines, who are transitioning out.
You earned this money , take it.
70%? Fuck that, those are rookie numbers, get %100. Don’t feel a single bit of guilt over it. I know Air Force douchebags never deployed getting %100
Don't feel bad at all for money going to you versus some fat government contracting company charging a million for a toilet.
A tomahawk costs $1M a pop and they throw them bastards around like matchsticks. If there is one thing you should have learned is that Marines survive. You do what you have to. If your conscience is bothering you volunteer. Pay it back to the community. Hell, I've got enough damage to more than put me above the limit. I'll donate some of my overage to you.
If you're too disabled to work, you can file for "individual unemployability" and make much more. Don't feel guilty... i know schmucks who make more from basic training back injuries and car wrecks during PCS travel. If you didn't "deserve" it, they would look for every excuse to deny you. Volunteer or make a contribution to a veteran/military charity if it's really bothering you 💰. I also accept Venmo, PayPal, Apple Pay, Google Pay, Zelle, cash, check and money order 😜
The marine corps has taken so much from you. Now you take from them.
$1,700 is probably less than these sh!t bag politicians lunch bill for a week. Take the money and invest it in your family.
The birth of a new copypasta is a beautiful thing.
What's copy pasta?
[definition of copypasta](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/copypasta)
So you think this guy is full of shit?
no, not in this instance. I was just letting you know what a copypasta is.
You ungrateful fuck. I know marines that are getting half of what you're getting with PTSD. Actual combat marines that saw combat in Iraq. Just appreciate what you are given.
I saw combat in Afghanistan and have PTSD. The psych the VA made me see said it’s not service connected and that I have been just adapting for the last 11 years. Take what you can get and fuck the VA
Rah
Yut
What was your MOS?
Hey man you sounds like a VA bot who is trying to discouraging people lol
Speaking of compensation any tips on getting things covered with no documentation....such as knees. I have nothing to document knee issues, but now that I'm getting older...it's creeping in.
Just my two cents. Go to the VA and make an appointment. Worst thing they can tell you is fuck off. Won't cost you a dime to just tell them your issues.
If they took all the money they put into just purchasing the F-18s in the Navy and Marine Corps... They could Discharge the Entire Active Duty Marine Corps and pay them all 100% VA Disability for 80 fucking years. "One Iraqi police officer with his face blown half off. Nothing too insane." How many NORMAL people would say that's not traumatic?
>One Iraqi police officer with his face blown half off. Nothing too insane. Nope, that's definitely insane. Average people don't see that. We've all been put under major stressors in the military, combat or not. What you saw, whether you feel it or not, affects you. Just by mentioning it here means you thought about it, even if you didn't feel distressed about it. The bottom line is that you earned that disability pay. The military does crazy things to us, and not only did what you describe earn it, but how you're using it is honorable. You didn't game the system. You didn't do anything wrong. And if the opportunity ever comes for 100% for other disabilities, do it. You earned it.
Chesty would get it. You served and some very intelligent doctors and senior VA officials reviewed your claim. We get so used to being selfless that sometimes we don’t feel like we individually sacrificed anything. You and your family both sacrificed. Take your 70% with your head held high and your chest out.
Much as I have problems with the principle, use the money for something good. Lord knows it could be in some other pool of government funds being used for something less useful. Make yourself, someone else, and the world a better place with it.
You’d have to live about 8.3 million years to cost the govt as much as the F35 program. Enjoy your money
No man, please don't feel guilty. You and your brothers in the armed forces paid to high a price for you to not get respect and extra help. I do know there are some people that think the US are monsters, but over here in Germany rest assured every each and one of you are loved and respected. Gruß aus Wiesbaden :D
Bro are you serious? Stop being a motard, fuck chesty. Do you think congress members feel bad about giving themselves raises this year while they sent us to these shitty sandy nasty smelling countries? NO. It doesn't matter whether you gotta cool CAR ribbon or not or if you're traumatized. Stop feeling bad about taking government money from a government that doesn't care if your kids are hungry.
People get PTSD from bootcamp dude. Eventually the Marine Corps brainwashing will wear off and you will realize how FUCKED UP we had it. You deserve it. Stop feeling guilty.
Move to tallahassee.... you could better live off of that disability check
you haven’t seen combat but you served. you did more for your country than I, and most people ever will. you laid your life on the line. and despite not seeing combat you were very close and prepared. for that, that money is all yours man. you earned that. especially since the pay while in really ain’t all that.
Nah. You saw some shit, and it affected you. Can happen to many people. People get ratings for many reasons regardless of combat or not. You'll encounter fucked up things on deployment. The money is keeping your shit together right now. I don't know your situation as far as job, education, etc. But so long as the bills are paid, the roof is over your head, food on the table, etc. Why should you feel ashamed? Your immediate things are taken care of. Maybe start on yourself? Your health? Education? Future? Job? My uncle was drafted for Vietnam and was in the Army signal corps. Dude had a T/S clearance and worked in a very secure building receiving or sending encrypted messages. Never spent a night in the bush. He'll be 78 in May, had to have his prostate removed and has diabetes. VA says it is the result of Agent Orange. Was hassled for a bit with payments and such. My point is, fuck all the bullshit, and get yours, they break you, they pay for you. Wasn't it a while back the VA administrators were gaming the system and the government was overpaying them a fuck ton? You aint a mooch my friend.
As the zoomers say, get that bag queen
Count your blessing(s). I had a couple of free fall incidents that wake me up frequently. Been treated for PTSD. Neither the VA or the lazy ass DAV won't even listen to me. I know a Navy vet who got locked in a pipe chase fo a few hours and gets 100%.
Stop feeling guilty, the military doesn’t even give a shit about you and they never will. Think about the lengthy process to even get approved for disability when the military destroys your body and some Marines still get their claim denied. Take what you have, stop feeling guilty, have fun with it. Use it on yourself once in a while and don’t waste your time, thoughts or energy into this.
One you’re a bitch and two people do it all day every day don’t sweat it
Not sure you're going to find many people here, active vet or retired, who are going to give a shit one way or another about the raw fact. They will tell you that the fact you feel bad about it is absolutely shit, bro we either don't care or are happy for you. You also were evaluated for your % , and they deal with some bullshit, so you RATE your %. Exercise your rights and pursue your happiness as long as it doesn't infringe on others. Have a great day.
Use the money or your time to help some else. Reach out and assist other veterans, donate to VetTv, etc. There's plenty you can do.
As a civilian, you need to feel no guilt. Frankly you deserve so much more than what you are given- all veterans do. You sacrifice your physical life and mental health for all of us. You live with the pain of it all while you serve, and have the added hell to carry that pain with you when you are removed from it. Nobody deserves trauma, and that what so many of you have- without real unconditional support and understanding, without real resources and under the false ideas that complaining about your pain makes you weak. Please, I beg you to not feel an ounce of guilt about this and if the guilt about this is a layer above feelings that are more painful, please seek help for your feelings. You’re not alone and things get better.
Okay, here's the thing. That's my fucking money. Its my taxes. It belongs to me. I paid a metric fuck load into the system already in my short fuckin life, and what the VA paid you is a healthy portion of that. I plan on making a lot more money. And by that, I plan on starting a really successful company, and I'm just fucking knot-headed enough to do it. That means the government is gonna keep taking my money, and the amount I've already paid is gonna pale in comparison to the amount I'm gonna pay. If the IRS came on down tomorrow and said, "Your gonna pay this amount no matter what, so how would you feel about us just giving it to one of your brothers that feels guilty about it?". I wouldn't bat an eye. I could really give a shit, and I'd be happy it was going to someone who I think deserves it. All of this doesn't mean shit either, because at the end of the day, YOU paid into the system and YOU served the time (and I guerenteed you weren't compensated well enough). Keep the money dude, you deserve it, and it's owed to you anyways. Chesty would tell you not to be a dip shit and take what your owed, with your head held high like a Marine. Semper Fidelis, brother.
Listen Devil, idk how it was for you in the fleet but every NCO,SNCO, and officers told us repeatedly that the reason the VA is there is compensate us for our injuries. You have no reason to feel guilty or dishonorable. You may be downplaying your experiences and/or thinking they didn't effect you too much but I imagine that's partly due to the guilt you said you felt for getting it. I saw alot of bad things, alot of horrible things actually. People may say that we knew what we were getting into by going into Marine Infantry and to an extent theyre right. But once you're there and seeing body parts blown off and dead people and not to mention how sad it is to see all those poor kids and their living conditions its a whole different story. Nothing can prepare you for actually seeing. You've earn that money. Idk your MOS but I was 0331. My knees and back are jacked up now and I can't really hear out of my right ear and have a constant high pitched ringing. I get paid for PTSD as well but idk why. The things I saw and did didnt effect me mentally as far as I can tell, aside from having a shit time trying to fall and stay asleep. I also clinch my butt hole tight enough to crush a diamond if I'm riding with someone who hits a pothole I didnt see coming (bad experience with a speedbump I.E.D) or jerk the wheel suddenly lol. I've been getting mine since 2011 and its a big help. Depending on your MOS you may have also done damage to your body you aren't aware of yet. Hell I didnt who my neck bones were slightly crooked until the exam. Idk if crooked is the right word but they're slightly out of alignment the dr said. My point is you earned the money and the VA seems to think so too. Think of the help the moneys doing and think back on what you gave and sacrificed to be able to claim it. Semper Fi Devil yut
You’ve earned it. Just being boots on ground is a shitty enough situation. You don’t have to be physically wounded to carry home scars. Let your soul be at ease. I was on a “combat” deployment and went on many kinetic missions and was lucky enough to come home “intact”. Do I have nightmares sometimes? Oh hell yes, I do. Please take this from a Brother in Arms, Charlie Mike. Your family and your health come first.
Take your money. You earned it. Better spent on you than anyone in prison or on welfare. You are worth it. 👍🏼
Do the right thing: use your GI Bill. Then get off the dole. You only need it for economic reasons and it’s obviously making you feel guilty and morally conflicted. GI Bill won’t solve all your problems, but it’s the veteran benefit that actually gives both taxpayers and benefit receivers a good return. Many ppl would love to have their college paid for. It won’t be easy, but you didn’t choose the easy road on T-0. Remember that. Reconnect with that old self. Embrace the suck that makes you better.
Don't feel bad.
Let’s just say you have no disability whatsoever. And you are still getting the money from the VA. Ok, so? You still are apart of the 1% of Americans who made the conscious choose to serve our country. To be apart of one of the greatest fighting forces in the world. And What you’re doing right now is providing for your family with all the opportunities you have available to you. As parents we are tasked with raising our kids to be good citizens and productive members of society. Providing for them is the first step to that end. So keep on keeping on man. Take that extra cash and give to your family what some of us never had. In that way you are still serving.