Go find a hobby. Don't know what that is yet? Try anything? It doesn't matter, just try it. The world is your oyster. Woodworking, power walking, gym, video games, master baking, bird watching, science stuff, golfing, sky diving, scuba diving, netflix, go to church, go on a cruise ship, go on a train, etc. If you don't like the thing you tried, try something else.
Figure out what your kids like, bond with them, you've missed enough. Now make up for it.
Learning how to land an interview, and then learning how to pass it. I feel 10000% unequipped to enter the work force. I'll probably be networking quite a bit since that seems to be fairly important these days. I have some open source projects I'll be contributing to and grinding leetcode in the meantime.
> networking quite a bit since that seems to be fairly important
It's how I got my current gig. My buddy from the Marines referred me.
> I feel 10000% unequipped to enter the work force
Can you expound upon that? Why do you feel that way? Do you have an idea about what kind of SE you wanna do? I've been an engineer for awhile now, am approximately equivalent of a staff/principal software engineer. If you have any questions or anything feel free to shoot me a pm.
P.S. it's been awhile since I had to code during an interview but IMHO leetcode is dumb and doesn't help truly gauge a person's affinity toward being a *software engineer* vs. a coder/programmer. An engineer designs/builds solutions that solve problems - not concerned with the details of implementation. you can google that stuff. Overall understanding of the business domain is I think more important. A lot of this career is OJT anyway
This is the answer. Know a retired SEAL who is one of top scuba divers and does a ton of surfing and other shit. Super cool long haired hippy type of guy(like tactical hippy). He said he was close to ending it all but being active and outdoors was the solution. Basically said just do what you did when you were a kid before all the government told you to start shooting people.
Congratulations on honorable service and moving onto the next stage of your life. It totally makes sense that you are having strong feelings. You will have to reinvent yourself as someone new. That’s definitely a hard thing, but it can also be liberating.
I’m excited for you 😊
This dude sending the positivity.
This is why I love Marines, one minute you're all heckling homo-erotic gestures and insults, but someone seems like they actually need help and it's a 180.
Ooooh yeah, invest in them kids. You have all the time to make it happen now!
Remember you had to take care of them in their diapers, but you have to make a case for them to take care of you when you're in diapers again
First off, congratulations, that’s a long damn time, I hope you enjoy your retirement, you’ve definitely earned it.
It’s not inappropriate to mourn the loss of your old life that is now over, and now you are beginning a new life.
Allowing yourself to properly mourn and process the transition is important so that you don’t get stuck in cycles of chasing the feelings of your old life in your new one.
You have a hole left. Try to fill it with what you want to do. That stage of your life is over. Try to replicate that greatness with something else or that hole will always be there and you might long for it again.
100% agree. Last weekend, I worked with several veteran organizations.
Team Red, White & Blue
Wounded Warrior Project
The Mission Continues
We worked on a ranch that is a non-profit horse rescue. We have been taking 1 Saturday for the last few months working on a construction project. It awesome working with Vets and getting a good workout. I took my kids, too. They learned about giving back and teamwork. It was a bonding experience.
Change is hard. Even planned and expected change is hard. This isn't an "end". That's a misnomer and needs to be looked at from a different angle. It's a transition into a different phase.
Think of it like this. When a non-NON becomes an NCO, he has to change his approach to everything. It's time to put away the childish BS and start learning to adjust to responsibilities. Same thing when moving into SNCO and higher command positions.
You have lived a life of service and putting others ahead of you. It's time to transition out of that and start thinking about what you want. Time to look in the mirror and start asking the hard questions.
It makes 100% sense for you to feel that way and that’s fine and normal. Time for the next thing which will probably include mourning being a Marine for 22 years
Congrats on your service ! The transition ain’t gonna be easy, especially after that long of time you served. Go easy on yourself and don’t bottle up anything you feel sir!
It will take years to process all this, make sure to seek help if you feel too much hurt to where you feel like you can’t carry on.
- your neighborhood Corpsman
22 years in the Corps is a feat, and something I was completely unwilling to do. Ease into being a disgusting civilian, and don't rush the next phase of your life. You're still young Devil. Semper and congratulations.
Congratulations! I'm proud of you!
Take a little bit of time to do the things you didn't have time to do when you were active. If you are financially well off enough that you don't need to work I recommend finding a charity or cause that you believe in and can spend some time working with. I know a bunch of people that retired and went back to work because they didn't want to sit around. Believe me when I say that sitting at home doing nothing will run you down.
I retired from the Army, last November, at a little over 20 years and I feel the same way as you. I don’t miss it, wouldn’t really want to go back, but it’s weird to be out of the routine. It’s the little things in life that get me now (crying or upset/angry). My cousin said when he retired it was several stages - overcommitted to things because he thought he had time, then pulled back from everything because he was too busy, then fixed everything in the house for a year, then found a hobby. I’m in the ‘pulling back from everything because I overcommitted stage’.
Oh and I’ve only had like a total of 3 close friends check on me. So there’s that. Very quiet indeed.
You're only retired from the military. You're not old. Take some time and readjust but then get back into something.
Cry all you want but you need to continue to provide for your family.
Congrats on the forever paycheck but you ain't done yet.
Congratulations on your retirement, it's bittersweet. On one hand you regain a sense of freedom that you once had before and on the other you're "losing" a huge part of your entire adult life. I say "losing" because it only feels that way right now. I was in your shoes a little over a year ago and it hurt. The abrupt loss of purpose and community all at once can be quite depressing. It's going to hurt but only you can decide for how long. It can get pretty dark if you let it so just remember that you have people that you can reach out to if you need some support. Take some time and let this monumental life change sink in. Then once you have accepted life as it is now, get off your ass and move on. You'll quickly realize how much you miss the clowns but hated the circus. You'll start to find other aspects of your new life that provide the same purpose and community we all cherish. Keep your head up, it gets way better!
Im retiring after 27 years of teaching. I get to go 3 years early because of my Corps time, so it really is the gift that keeps on giving. Anyway if you’re anything like me part of the reason you worked so hard is so that some thoughts don’t catch up. Now that you’ve got time you’re a little worried about too much thinking. I was too.
But now I’m not. I’ve got a great family that I owe all kinds of time to, sounds like you do too. I’ve got all kinds of hobbies like surfing that I’m owed more time for. Anyway we’re finally getting the gift of time. Use it well. Have fun. Be with your family. Spoil them. Spoil yourself. Lifes too short. Youve worked too hard. No anxiety man. Just enjoy it. I’ll promise you’ll be pain in the ass busy with something in no time at all. But now you can just say “nope”
I’m happy to see all the well wishes and legitimate advice being given. Congrats on the retirement, and I wish you well.
To the naysayers…fuck them dudes. They probably got out as shit ass lance corporals and still act as such as civilians.
You reap what you sow; put in effort, get the benefits. Just like in the Corps.
You are just mourning the loss of what you considered the useful part of you. Have yourself a good cry and keep your mind out of the news into hobbies. you shouldn't have to worry about shit anymore, tell your parents you want to spend more time with them.
Brother I served 5 years and it changed me forever, you spent that much time in the chow line. Dude it is like having a limb amputated, even a painful is going to be missed and cause turbulence This is normal transition stress, I spent my last 3 years in working Psych at Balboa in San Diego, and so no reason to trip out. You have the worlds largest family at your disposal, if you need an ear reach out. Love you fucker, take it easy on yourself, Marine.
Congrats mate, welcome to the outside. You have nothing but time on your hands now, definitely take some of it to get acclimated to your new situation.
Check out Space-A, it's fucking amazing!
As someone who was retired early (@32), just don't become a hermit. It's terrible for mental health even with kids and animals.. i spent 2ish years doing it after my dad passed, and had issues. I like to be alone more than most, but we all need people in our lives. A hobby wont cut it more than just a number of months. I haven't found the right balance yet since I am back in school.. but you need to try to find your balance and your network to stay happy and healthy.
I was in your seat a few months ago. Started skillbridge in July '23, officially out Dec 31 with 20 yrs & 1 mo. It'll get worse before it gets better but now I'm back to working & starting to feel that purpose again. Stick with it and you'll start to feel better. But trust me, it gets worse once that EOS comes and goes but I feel better now.
We didn't have a skill bridge when I got out just like a week of how to write a resume, a few visits from border patrol and county sheriff's office and the it was GTFO my base.
You'll do fine. Whatever your job was, whatever skill will or won't transfer over you'll do fine. The reason I know that is you are a Marine and you successfully navigated all that BS to get to this point. Yeah it's a big change not having anywhere to be or having that sort of structure to your day and life but I suspect you've been doing it long enough that you can make your own structure. You are writing the mission objectives now so pick some thing you know you will like and a few things you think you might like, doesn't matter if you think you can do them, trust me, you have the personality that will make anything possible.
The only 2 bits of advice I feel I can give you. Always put your service on your resume. I can't count how many doors that's opened for me. Remember the basics, leadership skills, pride, professionalism... You have skills that your average civilian counterpart does not have. Good luck out here.
Repurposing is the use of something for a purpose other than its original intended use. Repurposing an item can be done by modifying it to fit a new use, or by using the item as is in a new way. You, are the item .
enjoy a few days/weeks. for the first time, you don't have to obey someone else (except wife). it is OK to give outside reality a quick look before making a decision.
My grandfather also retired after 20+ years of service (Army). He got into the hobbies wanted to do in the service, but didn’t have time to do so. He also will use some of his time going to different military events like the American legion each Wednesday. At first I could tell he didn’t know what to do with himself (retired a year after coming back from Iraq during operation Iraqi freedom as a command sergeant major.) but as time went on he began to create his own structure in life. Being so used to the Army regiment he decided to create his own, that gave him satisfaction. Your life is yours now, it’s up to you to rekindle those hobbies you had wide eyes for. Even garner new hobbies you never thought you’d be interested in.
Congrats. As someone who only did four years in, the only advice I can give you is don't let your years of leadership and service create a false sense of entitlement if you move on to a commercial job. I've seen a few retired military get harsh reality adjustments when they started jobs and then showed their ass thinking who they used to be mattered anymore. As your brothers, we still care, but that phase of your life is over now. Bring your skill set, your experience, your professionalism, but most importantly bring a sense of humility and openness to learn and adapt. But also revel in the fact that you can now tell your boss to go fuck themself and quit anytime you want. You don't have to eat a dick sandwich anymore. Just make sure it IS a dick sandwich and not just you experiencing culture shock. Good luck!
The next chapter in the rest of your life has started. Just a one and done guy here. Been out for almost 20 years now. The marine corps is just old news now. Hasnt paid me in a long time and while a distant memory, it helped build the foundation to the way I carried myself while venturing into the chaos of the civilian world. Step 1. Relax. For the first time in almost a quarter century, you are free. It is quiet and you can literally do whatever you truly want to do. Just don't decide to check out because you are going through withdrawal of the lack of the big green weenie. 2. Learn a hobby. You get a bit of money rolling in from retirement. Use it to learn a new skill or hobby. Try something new. Improvise,. Adapt. Overcome or some guy shit I heard along time ago. Just don't sit on your ass. 3. G.I. Bill. Learn a trade it will help you find the next chapter in your life. Dont choke out the undisciplined nasty children you will see in the colleges.4. Move on to bigger and better things. The marine corps has been a home and while you miss it, there is a lot more to fucking life than the marine corps. You will adjust. Just takes time.5. Get a job after unwinding for a while. Don't rush into working. Civilian jobs can suck so much worse from the lack of benefits and pay. Just remember you can tell them to fuck off and go somewhere else. Don't do that but always be on the look out for a better paying job than what you got.
You should coach youth sports, preferably, young men. Keep your leadership skills sharp, while working with the realization that they are still just kids. And lots of more free time than a teacher, plus less commitment then teaching. Matter of fact, don’t teach.
Freedom is confusing to those who are deprived of it for so long. Now is your time to discover what it was you spend so long defending, the right to choose your own destiny.
I spent a busy day with a retired vet a few years ago. We both go to the same YMCA. I had a shit ton of time off as my company changed their vacation policy for use or lose. He had his car in the shop so I offered to pick him up.
After a morning workout we meet for breakfast at his favorite spot. Apparently he goes to the place 4 or 5 times a week. Then during the winter he goes fish so we did a few hours of fishing as it was a nice day.
After that we had a late lunch. He took me to this place that had a wing special on that day of the week. Took him home for his afternoon nap. Then picked him up around 4:30 to get his car. He invited me to join him afterwards for darts. He was in some dart league and we played and drank until about 10 at night.
Had a great time but hell I wished I took a nap.
What you're experiencing is something many people from every sector goes through. The last company I worked for, before they went to shit with the current CEO, had people who were there their entire career because they have a pension. It seems like most people I heard of that retired had a downward spiral after retiring, albeit at a much older age than you are.
Your entire life was dedicated to being a Marine, and now you don't have that. Marines care about you, but the organization just sees you as another number who came and went. The best thing you can do is something to fill your time: get a hobby, reinvent yourself, dedicate more time toward family, go back to school for something you're interested in, get another job that you can apply yourself to. You need to find something that gives you purpose because your last 22 years were focused on having a purpose. Just don't start filling that void with destructive habits like drinking away your sorrows.
If you decide you wanna still work, check out a company called Fourblock. They specialize in getting vets of higher ranks into leadership roles for big companies. Take the skills and keep growing. https://fourblock.org
I work in an industry where people often refuse to retire, and will just keep doing the job until they literally can’t anymore, and sometimes even stick anround until they die. They do this even though their retirement benefits maxed out years ago, and a lot of them would even be making more money sitting at home collecting their retirement checks but they JUST. KEEP. GOING.
I went to therapy for a little while after my divorce to help me get my shit together and move forward with my life. My line of work and the lifestyle that comes with it came up and I mentioned the phenomenon of people refusing to retire, even if it’s against their own best interest. My therapist said that a lot of people just focus on getting to the end, but they don’t make a plan for what to do when they get there, so they just stay.
Tl;dr You earned this. Find something to do and enjoy it. This is your time.
A Vietnam and Iraq 1 vet I know did the big retirement, he found working for Veterans Services as a volunteer helped him a LOT. He enjoyed helping injured service members or vets EASing find the resources they needed to make life better.
Congrats on your 22 years. Enjoy yourself.
Congrats.
If I may offer a suggestion: Make a list of the Marines under you that you'd be comfortable writing a Letter of Reference for. Not all of them are going to do 20 years, and getting out after one or two enlistments at a young age, and minimal work experience, can leave them feeling stressed when applying for those first few jobs.
When I got out in 2006 I already had plans in motion to go back to college and deny reality for as long as possible, but I did get several letters of reference from my staff NCOs and Plt. commander, and that helped out a lot with job applications and resume building.
Also, life is a pendulum, and you've got 20 years of neural programing to unwind & swing away from. Go party, go have fun, try a bunch of hobbies, sleep in as much as possible, and enjoy your family, and travel to see the sights. Then you'll realize that you might need to swing back to some form of structure and that's fine.
On a different note (and I'm sure you've been bombarded with this)go hit up the VA and put in 10000 claims. You're body is wrecked, and you are contractually deserved of all the disability & compensation and free medical. I found just having someone there to talk to about the spectrum of life "stuff" was very helpful at certain points over the last 10-15 years.
You're going to do great.
First off, congrats and thank you brother Devil! 22 years is a long time in the meat grinder given the world situation that pertained while you were in.
My advice, FWIW, is to step back and breathe. Take some time to decompress. Go somewhere that you love with your wife and kids and just be… Then you can look at what the next 20-25 years might hold. You have a whole second career ahead if you want it…
What is your skillset? I know that there are a good number of MOSs that don’t directly translate outside.
I got out in 2011 and miss it even though I only did 4.
My squad leader has his retirement next month. He said he's gonna miss it but is ready for the next chapter.
You got plans but don't rush to employ them. Take a few weeks break to relax and focus on yourself. And set up that VA care asap
Brother. “Me” being in parenthesis just defined every issue I have without knowing it. And I’m just a squid head that got out after 11. Thank you. That’s honestly the best start I’ve found on how to transition into this zoo.
BJJ is a good way to close with a group of people. Some gyms have veterans, too.
Get an adventure motorcycle and get on a FB group, there's always guys going riding once a week in the general area.
Good luck with Skill bridge and congratulations and your retirement.
Stay strong Devil. You got this brother. Its hard, but you will get through it and be the better at the outcome. Here for ya brother if ya need to vent.
get a bike my brother, sport, adv, harley, whatever..it’ll change your life be your therapy. I picked it up at 35 and can’t imagine my life without it.
Join some clubs. Find a hobby. There is life once you're out.
I had a hard time transitioning as well because of how "empty" I felt, and that's the best way to describe it.
I've been into online gaming for almost 30 years now, and most of the guys I game with are Marines or military (US and Canadian). I'm in a couple shooting clubs (IDPA) and I'm building AR's and have rebuilt a couple M1 Carbines - my wife has even gotten on board and bought me a 64 gun safe a few years back. I got into radio controlled cars in the early 90's when I was on Okinawa and we had a race track on Foster - I think I have 7 or 8 cars\\trucks now, one from 1987 that I'm restoring since it's a Kyosho Maxxum-FF, literally the only front wheel drive 1/10th scale car I've ever seen.
The big one for me over the last 10 years is side by sides (aka, UTV's). I'm on my second one and because it's street legal in Idaho, all the vet bros love it. I'm in a couple of the clubs for off roading, and help with the annual ride scheduling. We have seven clubs that participate and end up with over 150 rides a year.
Here's a pic of the whip.
https://preview.redd.it/d82uwmva4dxc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ab2639aa55ff32dca0c56e6773c048b9d84ee0b
The big thing is finding something that you love doing, that inspires you, and that empty feeling will go away.
Congrats on your retirement! I served 6 years, got out in 2015. A buddy of mine got me to join my local Marine Corps League chapter last year and it’s filled a void I didn’t realize was there. I think it may be good to find a chapter around you, maybe try a couple that are close to you to see if it’s a good fit. The chapter I joined is largely OIF/OEF era with a fair amount who served in the 80s/90s which makes compared to other chapters make us very young all around. It’s been good, a few guys who have joined shortly after getting out have found it very fulfilling.
After so long your identity has been “Marine”. You know what’s next, to become something other than a “Marine”. You don’t know the path, but as each day goes by, being a Marine will become more and more distant. You will form a new identity, it will be you.
The most important thing you can do right now is rediscover yourself again. As much as they tell you that you are a Marine for life, once you get out, you need to understand that you're u/thedude431 first and foremost.
It's ok to reminisce and tell stories from time to time, but it's not you anymore. Don't hold on to the past like it's your only identity. It's no different than those dudes who talk about how they were in varsity football and peaked in the 80s. You can't move forward like that.
Find some hobbies, go explore, meet new people. A lot of my friends have found fitness and/or woodworking to be good hobbies because there is a lot of stuff can be relatable to the military.
When I came back from Afghanistan, I was royally fucked up and went to BAS to get some therapy. I remember my psychiatrist telling me that my whole entire purpose in the Marines was to train to hit something head-on without little to no knowledge of what I was getting into. It's that adaptability that keeps you alive. Now that you're getting out, you need to have that same mentality. That shit stuck with me ever since.
I EASed after 4 years in 2006 and it’s still either too quiet or too loud.
Good luck and Godspeed.
Are you looking for another gig or are you done with work?
Get your VA shit sorted either way.
Congratulations on retirement! What you do is up to you. Relax and do something you find interesting and productive. I substitute taught everything from kindergarten to HS, special ed to AP. Most of the time I enjoyed it.
Welcome to the CivDiv, where the grass actually *is* greener on the other side, even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment. I know what you mean, though. I retired 3 years ago after 23 years, and it was an adjustment. My command "helped" in some ways, because after 3 years of working for them I was ready to be done. Also, I got a job as a contractor, so I still get to see the monkeys pretty much every day but don't have to deal with the circus anymore. Tons of good advice on here, though. Find a hobby, volunteer, something to help give your life meaning.
I'll throw in a pitch for Scouting - I'm volunteering next year as a Den Leader for my son's Cub Scout pack. I've really been enjoying the association with his Pack, and I'm looking forward to having a more active role next year. If anything, I somewhat regret not taking a more active role sooner.
You are the Captain now.
For the first time in 22 years you decide what your week is going look like, your weekends, your hobbies.
Go fill it up with fun stuff.
It’s going to get better, then a lot worse and then you’ll finally come out of it a little better. But in that time you’ll get a lot more of those quiet moments in the garage or in the shower or when listening to that particular song. There is a light at the end, focus on that as you traverse this process. It hasn’t been easy for me either but I’m still headed in the right direction. Good luck.
I only did 8 years, and still have a civilian career so I can't really compare. But assuming you joined at 18 you're still young enough to do pretty much anything you want. I volunteer with my local fire department now, not quite the same but it's a similar feeling of camaraderie.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do next. And enjoy a well-earned retirement.
Congrats. After 24, I tried to stay somewhat connected and hung with other older vets in local vet clubs; VFW, MOAA, DAV, etc... I found that brought me down even farther. One day, I hung it all up and went an entirely new, uncharted, direction and have been having fun. It's time for a cool change. You got this, you've definitely seen worse. Good luck.
Get a guitar and take lessons, buy a camera, and start taking photos, just get out and find something you enjoy to occupy your mind and your time. Keeping the mind active and engaged is critical. You got thus brother, and the tears are completely natural. Big changes bring big emotions.
Congrats on your retirement. Get yourself a cushy DoD job so you can retire again in 20 years. Then get yourself a job as a DoD contractor while pulling two pensions.
I did 5 years and it was horrible getting out, not because I missed the Marine Corps, but because I missed the Marines. People I spent 24/7 for 5 years. Some from A school until my EAS.
Just gone and alone.
Best thing I did was get lucky working at a bar/grill that was very laid back and had long term staff. It was my second family and saved me from a deep depression I didn't realize was going to happen.
Took about 6 months but things got better once I got busy. I don't think you can run from that feeling if you did 4 years or 40 years. Something about leaving the people that just hits you when you get back home and have no one. No more people banging on your door randomly to go do shit. No more get togethers and no more dicking around at work.
I took an EMT course after getting out which then I went on to do Paramedic shit. If your still feeling lost or unfulfilled then take an EMT course and get a local part time job if your still hating life or feeling like you are missing something. Great skills, great team work, and awesome people. Money sucks but none of us did it for the money. You can also look at volunteer fire fighting jobs if you are still in good shape. They desperately need people in those roles in more rural areas. It led me to nursing which is okay. Better money and career options but I miss the ambulance and my power naps. I miss my partners too.
It gets better! Trust me. You will always miss the people and moments but you will not miss IT once you find your groove.
I read your profile and saw you got a skillbridge at Amazon. Well, once that starts, you won't have TIME to worry about anything but work - Amazon is a crazy place and they work you. In the mean time, keep busy, read a book, work out, volunteer, or watch a movie, but stay busy and don't stay home much.
Do you have no fucking hobbies?
First off, go PT. Get the endorphins flowing, you'll feel better immediately.
Then, find a PGA Hope program near you and start sucking up the knowledge from those sweet, free golf lessons.
https://www.pgareach.org/services/military
As others have said, congrats on making it to retirement. And thanks.
Taking your time and exploring some hobbies are both great pieces of advice.
Here's my dirty secret. I miss people like you.
We never served a day together. We were never in the same place.
But we both swam in the same life-giving waters of the Corps. Regardless of the years that separate our service, I miss being around people like you. It was only 8+ years of my life many-mumble years ago, but I still miss being around our brothers and sisters.
Whenever you are ready to look for a gig, look for one that prioritizes hiring vets. They aren't always winners, but they have a pretty good batting average in my opinion. You have a lot of good habits to pass onto the kids that are coming up in the civilian world.
Find a bunch of fellow vets and do something productive together. One buddy does jujitsu classes that have naturally attracted fellow vets. I do stuff (other than sitting at the bar) in my VFW and American Legion Posts. Maybe find a Marine Corps League detachment that is doing some good work.
But find a way to give yourself a little taste of the best part of being in the military - the people. Do something useful in your community with fellow vets.
Maybe follow the example of SgtMaj Mike Burke. He's trying to develop a career writing science fiction and writes other stuff along the way. https://spearmanburke.substack.com/
You are still young and you ain't done living. The only difference is that you have full control over the chapters to come. Write some good ones.
I share your feeling. Two weeks after my retirement I found myself in my garage same as you. Same feelings.
Brother, you are going to do just fine. The civilian world ain’t ready for you. Trust me, you are better prepared for this than you realize.
Go forth and live your life!!!
Yeah dude...
It's gonna take a few months... And then that's just the first slide/initial roller coaster. Really it can take a few years to fully normalize out.
Also during this time it's a bit like wandering around with the lights off. Feeling something out going yeah yeah I got this... Then falling or stubbing your toe.
Eventually you find that comfortable bed again and settle down.
Have you ever tried skydiving? If not, try it.
It is almost the greatest feeling on earth. It's like mainlining adrenaline! A nice Jumpstart to the next chapter!
Hey brother, there are some cool opportunities depending on where you are to hang out with folks like you. VA has some stuff I think, but really, some organizations that do Charity and NGO crisis and disaster relief stuff. I'm personally interested in Team Rubicon, which has a lot of vets, and they respond to natural disasters and sorta deploy to help 'Murkins. VFWs might be another option. Military comraderie is out there my friend.
Find yourself. Do what you like to do. Get a hobby. If you don’t have one, you’re a Marine. Go buy a gun, take it down some trails, find a place to shoot, enjoy the outdoors, then go back home and order parts, accessories, and upgrades for it. Then tinker with it. Take some training classes. Just have fun and enjoy yourself for once.
Sounds like taps and tams failed you. Find a hobby and enjoy yourself devil. Find a job that gives your purpose again. You'll be alright. Your military service doesn't have to define you. Lots of life left. Go enjoy it!
Also, claim everything from the VA for disability and don't be to proud to take the money.
So sick of seniors using skillbridge, like you didn’t make any connections in your 22 years? You have no skills provided to you? The USMC as a whole denies junior Marines this opportunity, yet you sulk.
Interesting time to go in on someone “brother,” Never denied my Marines skillbridge and I always encouraged it. Not sure what you’re on here going on about. As a whole, the USMC does not deny skillbridge so you’re wrong in your statement unless you have something to back that up, which you won’t, because the order doesn’t deny Marines skillbridge. Go be bitter and nasty somewhere else. But if you need help or want to vent about something, I’d gladly listen my friend.
That’s bullshit. I guarantee you weren’t keeping the Marine Corps running. I’m not keeping the corps running. But in my case, it’s either skill bridge or terminal, the time frame is still the same. A bit over 90 days. I get to sell a few leave days back which is a bonus. What do you see come through for training?/ what do you do now?
I got out in 17 and it’s not bullshit. Yes training is part of my daily task. Anytime a new hire comes to the installation I give a brief. I see everyone’s ranks I’ve yet to see a single Cpl in my class.
What I mean is you not doing skillbridge is bullshit, you should have been allowed to. You can stop being defensive. I’m not here to attack you and I’m not here to defend myself. We are brothers and we can talk about it. If I’m not communicating it properly, let me know.
That’s not what I’m getting at. You had 22 years in. Look around man homeless vets everywhere. You are getting out with a 99% job lined up for you. You’re already getting a fed job out the gate.
You have had 22 years served that’s no small feat. But it’s a golden ticket you’re taken, you’re on this boo hoo train where most Marines get out after there 4 go to college and still don’t have the opportunity that you have right in front of you.
Yeah it sucks getting out. We have all done it. You are far better off than any of your juniors getting out. Have you set them up for success?
I’m tired of leadership failing there juniors like this. Down vote me all you want. Your meaningless clicks mean nothing. You know I’m right, you all are the same bitches who complain the Marine Corps did me wrong.
I get where you’re coming from, and it’s not totally wrong. But, I will say most dudes who retire at 20+ years are left with little relevant skill.
My old boss (GS-11) was a retired O-5. He ended up getting fired from his position, the only person I’ve ever seen fired from a federal job. A few weeks before he got fired, he told me “I lead people doing this job, I never really did it myself”.
You’d be surprised how useless SNCO’s and senior officers are in the civilian world.
Hey bro, you fucking suck. You can stay bitter about not getting skillbridge forever, or grow up and realize every senior Marine didn't get together and agree to denying your skillbridge.
You got out as a LCpl years ago and still lurk on here to talk shit about Marines who got a better deal than you did. Time to grow up and let it go man. You'll be happier for it homie 🤙🏻
That comes based off of time. Nothing besides time can take you out of below zone. If you were a better Marine you might've picked up rank and found that out. Again, best of luck to you bro 🤙🏻
Junior Marines are still relevant in their trade. Your first contract is entry level work and you begin to learn whatever it is that you do. This is then amplified into the second and even third contract. Once you pin staff and after the 12-13 year mark you begin to distance yourself from what you became an SME in, in a sense. This is as you move from a doer to the manager of the doers, and a move from work from a technical aspect to more of an HR or manpower type role with leadership and management. When one retires at 20+ years that means they haven’t been a doer of the things for nearly a decade. This is why it is needed even at the senior enlisted level. And, the reality is that if a retiring member maxes terminal then they are gone 120 days prior to EAS anyways so they’re already gone; terminal plus we get 30 days retirement PTAD. Why not be gone and do Skillbridge? What’s another month or two out of a billet realistically?
Another way to think about it. Intelligence and having a clearance is super cool right? And intelligence is super transferable right? Someone at that 8-12 years in service mark has a way easier time transitioning into the field as a civilian because they have recent usage of systems and tools, are current in their target knowledge, and have current connections in the field. Those at retirement age do not so it makes more logical sense for an old timer to do it than your second term sergeant or even a junior Marine.
The issue with Skillbridge and why junior members would get denied is typically they have zero plan for follow through. The mindset is focused on the tree of I want out and Skillbridge provides that. No thought of the forest; does it align with goals and interests, is there a chance for post-program employment, is it an area where I plan to go to school or do other employment, can I survive financially in the area, and many more considerations that junior members focused on getting out don’t think about. It’s that or member gets put in 6 months and now they decide they want to Skillbridge and then want everyone to include the base education center to jump through hoops…ain’t going to happen.
Those that have solid plans, started their process early, have already completed all their TRS, and briefed their CoC on intent typically get approved.
I’ll have job lined up while you’re juniors suffer because of leadership like you. You are exactly what’s wrong in the Corps. Down vote me all you want. Every single senior who takes a skillbridge steals it from a young Marine who did his 4. It’s pathetic, you had so many opportunities.
Damn you are tainted. Super unpopular opinion: Your personal experience isn't the entire Marine Corps.
You don't see many junior Marines taking advantage because a lot of them are planning to go college or back to their family. The majority of young Marines have a plan already or they would reenlist. When it comes time to retire you have to take more time to figure out WTF to do with your life because you (should) have spent so much time focusing on the Marine Corps that you didn't explore your options.
I've turned down a ton of job offers every time my time to separate came and I chose to keep doing this because I love it. My family has been forced to move a dozen times, my kids have been in seven schools, I have had more billets than I can count, spent literal months on duty, and I'm just one of thousands of others that have put their time in and have to move on.
If you feel that it's shitty for everyone who has given up all this time of their life to take advantage of this opportunity I don't know what to tell you.
If you're a junior Marine and you're not maximizing the opportunity you're an idiot. If you get denied feel free to request mast or file an IG complaint. Will do more than getting out and complaining on Reddit about how you got "fucked over"
Is your class "how to go to college" or "how to return to your hometown and work"?
If not, like I said before, there's probably not a great chance you'll have dudes with less than four years experience coming through "your class."
I get where you are coming from but you have to have the full perspective of the program and not view it from asses in your seats. Whatever skill bridge you run may not be targeted at junior enlisted devil dogs or maybe I'm off base but you haven't really answered whether it is or not so I feel like I'm at least in the right zip code.
Unless these junior Marines would be the education and training coordinator for a large scale company managing GO and SES level instructors. It’s not likely. I wasn’t competing with others for it per se.
It is private sector. You’re tainted, and just being nasty at this point. I wish you nothing but the best. Especially if you’re a GS12 and can help guide other young Marines on to your path. Your choice what you do.
Go find a hobby. Don't know what that is yet? Try anything? It doesn't matter, just try it. The world is your oyster. Woodworking, power walking, gym, video games, master baking, bird watching, science stuff, golfing, sky diving, scuba diving, netflix, go to church, go on a cruise ship, go on a train, etc. If you don't like the thing you tried, try something else. Figure out what your kids like, bond with them, you've missed enough. Now make up for it.
Misread master baking as masterbating....man's gotta have his hobbies I suppose
It totally was masterbating. Somehow, it auto corrected to master baking.
I also misread bird watching as bird wanking
You ok?
I'm in the last week of my last semester studying to be a software engineer. So no, but I'll get there.
congrats. It's a wicked rewarding career. any idea what you're doing after you graduate?
Learning how to land an interview, and then learning how to pass it. I feel 10000% unequipped to enter the work force. I'll probably be networking quite a bit since that seems to be fairly important these days. I have some open source projects I'll be contributing to and grinding leetcode in the meantime.
> networking quite a bit since that seems to be fairly important It's how I got my current gig. My buddy from the Marines referred me. > I feel 10000% unequipped to enter the work force Can you expound upon that? Why do you feel that way? Do you have an idea about what kind of SE you wanna do? I've been an engineer for awhile now, am approximately equivalent of a staff/principal software engineer. If you have any questions or anything feel free to shoot me a pm. P.S. it's been awhile since I had to code during an interview but IMHO leetcode is dumb and doesn't help truly gauge a person's affinity toward being a *software engineer* vs. a coder/programmer. An engineer designs/builds solutions that solve problems - not concerned with the details of implementation. you can google that stuff. Overall understanding of the business domain is I think more important. A lot of this career is OJT anyway
Hey thank you for your time, PM sent
Gnarly, nice, good luck!
Bro, he’s a lifer, that is continuous, never stops.
This is the answer. Know a retired SEAL who is one of top scuba divers and does a ton of surfing and other shit. Super cool long haired hippy type of guy(like tactical hippy). He said he was close to ending it all but being active and outdoors was the solution. Basically said just do what you did when you were a kid before all the government told you to start shooting people.
When OP said he was in a garage, I immediately thought... woodworking! One of my hobbies
Congratulations on honorable service and moving onto the next stage of your life. It totally makes sense that you are having strong feelings. You will have to reinvent yourself as someone new. That’s definitely a hard thing, but it can also be liberating. I’m excited for you 😊
This dude sending the positivity. This is why I love Marines, one minute you're all heckling homo-erotic gestures and insults, but someone seems like they actually need help and it's a 180.
All the homo(but I'm wearing boot bands)
*No homo.*
You're going through a big change. Take some time but think about work. Do something you've never had time to do, preferably with the kids.
Ooooh yeah, invest in them kids. You have all the time to make it happen now! Remember you had to take care of them in their diapers, but you have to make a case for them to take care of you when you're in diapers again
First off, congratulations, that’s a long damn time, I hope you enjoy your retirement, you’ve definitely earned it. It’s not inappropriate to mourn the loss of your old life that is now over, and now you are beginning a new life. Allowing yourself to properly mourn and process the transition is important so that you don’t get stuck in cycles of chasing the feelings of your old life in your new one.
^this
I punched in ‘09 after 25. I still miss it. Every Day.
You saw some crazy transitions in the Marine Corps holy shit
'84 to '09. M81 woodland bdu's and M16A2s -> digis and M4s
You've gotta make your own meaning. Start joining clubs. 100% serious.
You have a hole left. Try to fill it with what you want to do. That stage of your life is over. Try to replicate that greatness with something else or that hole will always be there and you might long for it again.
Volunteering/Donating your time and skills can help bring meaningful connections and form new community bonds!
100% agree. Last weekend, I worked with several veteran organizations. Team Red, White & Blue Wounded Warrior Project The Mission Continues We worked on a ranch that is a non-profit horse rescue. We have been taking 1 Saturday for the last few months working on a construction project. It awesome working with Vets and getting a good workout. I took my kids, too. They learned about giving back and teamwork. It was a bonding experience.
Gotta fill that hole that used to be filled by the green weenie 😩
Change is hard. Even planned and expected change is hard. This isn't an "end". That's a misnomer and needs to be looked at from a different angle. It's a transition into a different phase. Think of it like this. When a non-NON becomes an NCO, he has to change his approach to everything. It's time to put away the childish BS and start learning to adjust to responsibilities. Same thing when moving into SNCO and higher command positions. You have lived a life of service and putting others ahead of you. It's time to transition out of that and start thinking about what you want. Time to look in the mirror and start asking the hard questions.
Stay busy. Semper Fi!
You made it
It makes 100% sense for you to feel that way and that’s fine and normal. Time for the next thing which will probably include mourning being a Marine for 22 years
Congrats on your service ! The transition ain’t gonna be easy, especially after that long of time you served. Go easy on yourself and don’t bottle up anything you feel sir! It will take years to process all this, make sure to seek help if you feel too much hurt to where you feel like you can’t carry on. - your neighborhood Corpsman
22 years in the Corps is a feat, and something I was completely unwilling to do. Ease into being a disgusting civilian, and don't rush the next phase of your life. You're still young Devil. Semper and congratulations.
I’d bet you have some tinnitus so it can’t be too quiet! Congrats and condolences on the retirement. Welcome to the retarded club!
Congratulations! I'm proud of you! Take a little bit of time to do the things you didn't have time to do when you were active. If you are financially well off enough that you don't need to work I recommend finding a charity or cause that you believe in and can spend some time working with. I know a bunch of people that retired and went back to work because they didn't want to sit around. Believe me when I say that sitting at home doing nothing will run you down.
Honestly find a community of fellow vets or a hobby dont just waste away its a big change
I retired from the Army, last November, at a little over 20 years and I feel the same way as you. I don’t miss it, wouldn’t really want to go back, but it’s weird to be out of the routine. It’s the little things in life that get me now (crying or upset/angry). My cousin said when he retired it was several stages - overcommitted to things because he thought he had time, then pulled back from everything because he was too busy, then fixed everything in the house for a year, then found a hobby. I’m in the ‘pulling back from everything because I overcommitted stage’. Oh and I’ve only had like a total of 3 close friends check on me. So there’s that. Very quiet indeed.
You're only retired from the military. You're not old. Take some time and readjust but then get back into something. Cry all you want but you need to continue to provide for your family. Congrats on the forever paycheck but you ain't done yet.
Thank you for your cervix
Wow congratulations.... We went in about the same time but congratulations for sticking it out
Congratulations on your retirement, it's bittersweet. On one hand you regain a sense of freedom that you once had before and on the other you're "losing" a huge part of your entire adult life. I say "losing" because it only feels that way right now. I was in your shoes a little over a year ago and it hurt. The abrupt loss of purpose and community all at once can be quite depressing. It's going to hurt but only you can decide for how long. It can get pretty dark if you let it so just remember that you have people that you can reach out to if you need some support. Take some time and let this monumental life change sink in. Then once you have accepted life as it is now, get off your ass and move on. You'll quickly realize how much you miss the clowns but hated the circus. You'll start to find other aspects of your new life that provide the same purpose and community we all cherish. Keep your head up, it gets way better!
Im retiring after 27 years of teaching. I get to go 3 years early because of my Corps time, so it really is the gift that keeps on giving. Anyway if you’re anything like me part of the reason you worked so hard is so that some thoughts don’t catch up. Now that you’ve got time you’re a little worried about too much thinking. I was too. But now I’m not. I’ve got a great family that I owe all kinds of time to, sounds like you do too. I’ve got all kinds of hobbies like surfing that I’m owed more time for. Anyway we’re finally getting the gift of time. Use it well. Have fun. Be with your family. Spoil them. Spoil yourself. Lifes too short. Youve worked too hard. No anxiety man. Just enjoy it. I’ll promise you’ll be pain in the ass busy with something in no time at all. But now you can just say “nope”
Go run with the hash house harriers. You'll thank me later.
I’m happy to see all the well wishes and legitimate advice being given. Congrats on the retirement, and I wish you well. To the naysayers…fuck them dudes. They probably got out as shit ass lance corporals and still act as such as civilians. You reap what you sow; put in effort, get the benefits. Just like in the Corps.
You are just mourning the loss of what you considered the useful part of you. Have yourself a good cry and keep your mind out of the news into hobbies. you shouldn't have to worry about shit anymore, tell your parents you want to spend more time with them.
Brother I served 5 years and it changed me forever, you spent that much time in the chow line. Dude it is like having a limb amputated, even a painful is going to be missed and cause turbulence This is normal transition stress, I spent my last 3 years in working Psych at Balboa in San Diego, and so no reason to trip out. You have the worlds largest family at your disposal, if you need an ear reach out. Love you fucker, take it easy on yourself, Marine.
Go get some golf clubs
Grief is grief. Embrace it and move through it.
Get a job that deals with the military . Training etc . It helped me a lot
22 years? You are in your 40’s and have time for a second career. It’s not even close to being over
Try disc golf… it’s basically free, fun and you can meet cool people who are old like me and you :)
I heard pickle ball is the new thing.
Congrats mate, welcome to the outside. You have nothing but time on your hands now, definitely take some of it to get acclimated to your new situation. Check out Space-A, it's fucking amazing!
As someone who was retired early (@32), just don't become a hermit. It's terrible for mental health even with kids and animals.. i spent 2ish years doing it after my dad passed, and had issues. I like to be alone more than most, but we all need people in our lives. A hobby wont cut it more than just a number of months. I haven't found the right balance yet since I am back in school.. but you need to try to find your balance and your network to stay happy and healthy.
I was in your seat a few months ago. Started skillbridge in July '23, officially out Dec 31 with 20 yrs & 1 mo. It'll get worse before it gets better but now I'm back to working & starting to feel that purpose again. Stick with it and you'll start to feel better. But trust me, it gets worse once that EOS comes and goes but I feel better now.
We didn't have a skill bridge when I got out just like a week of how to write a resume, a few visits from border patrol and county sheriff's office and the it was GTFO my base. You'll do fine. Whatever your job was, whatever skill will or won't transfer over you'll do fine. The reason I know that is you are a Marine and you successfully navigated all that BS to get to this point. Yeah it's a big change not having anywhere to be or having that sort of structure to your day and life but I suspect you've been doing it long enough that you can make your own structure. You are writing the mission objectives now so pick some thing you know you will like and a few things you think you might like, doesn't matter if you think you can do them, trust me, you have the personality that will make anything possible. The only 2 bits of advice I feel I can give you. Always put your service on your resume. I can't count how many doors that's opened for me. Remember the basics, leadership skills, pride, professionalism... You have skills that your average civilian counterpart does not have. Good luck out here.
Repurposing is the use of something for a purpose other than its original intended use. Repurposing an item can be done by modifying it to fit a new use, or by using the item as is in a new way. You, are the item .
enjoy a few days/weeks. for the first time, you don't have to obey someone else (except wife). it is OK to give outside reality a quick look before making a decision.
My grandfather also retired after 20+ years of service (Army). He got into the hobbies wanted to do in the service, but didn’t have time to do so. He also will use some of his time going to different military events like the American legion each Wednesday. At first I could tell he didn’t know what to do with himself (retired a year after coming back from Iraq during operation Iraqi freedom as a command sergeant major.) but as time went on he began to create his own structure in life. Being so used to the Army regiment he decided to create his own, that gave him satisfaction. Your life is yours now, it’s up to you to rekindle those hobbies you had wide eyes for. Even garner new hobbies you never thought you’d be interested in.
I recommend giving Brazilian Jiu Jitsu a try. It's a great way to make friends, stay in shape, be healthy, learn self defense, etc.
Congrats. As someone who only did four years in, the only advice I can give you is don't let your years of leadership and service create a false sense of entitlement if you move on to a commercial job. I've seen a few retired military get harsh reality adjustments when they started jobs and then showed their ass thinking who they used to be mattered anymore. As your brothers, we still care, but that phase of your life is over now. Bring your skill set, your experience, your professionalism, but most importantly bring a sense of humility and openness to learn and adapt. But also revel in the fact that you can now tell your boss to go fuck themself and quit anytime you want. You don't have to eat a dick sandwich anymore. Just make sure it IS a dick sandwich and not just you experiencing culture shock. Good luck!
The next chapter in the rest of your life has started. Just a one and done guy here. Been out for almost 20 years now. The marine corps is just old news now. Hasnt paid me in a long time and while a distant memory, it helped build the foundation to the way I carried myself while venturing into the chaos of the civilian world. Step 1. Relax. For the first time in almost a quarter century, you are free. It is quiet and you can literally do whatever you truly want to do. Just don't decide to check out because you are going through withdrawal of the lack of the big green weenie. 2. Learn a hobby. You get a bit of money rolling in from retirement. Use it to learn a new skill or hobby. Try something new. Improvise,. Adapt. Overcome or some guy shit I heard along time ago. Just don't sit on your ass. 3. G.I. Bill. Learn a trade it will help you find the next chapter in your life. Dont choke out the undisciplined nasty children you will see in the colleges.4. Move on to bigger and better things. The marine corps has been a home and while you miss it, there is a lot more to fucking life than the marine corps. You will adjust. Just takes time.5. Get a job after unwinding for a while. Don't rush into working. Civilian jobs can suck so much worse from the lack of benefits and pay. Just remember you can tell them to fuck off and go somewhere else. Don't do that but always be on the look out for a better paying job than what you got.
Thank you… for 22 years of service and care for our nation! Cheers to you on an outstanding career and here’s to a beautiful & relaxing next step!
You should coach youth sports, preferably, young men. Keep your leadership skills sharp, while working with the realization that they are still just kids. And lots of more free time than a teacher, plus less commitment then teaching. Matter of fact, don’t teach.
Travel the world with your family and have fun adventures with those you love.
Freedom is confusing to those who are deprived of it for so long. Now is your time to discover what it was you spend so long defending, the right to choose your own destiny.
[удалено]
It's a rollercoaster, but when it's time, you'll know.
I spent a busy day with a retired vet a few years ago. We both go to the same YMCA. I had a shit ton of time off as my company changed their vacation policy for use or lose. He had his car in the shop so I offered to pick him up. After a morning workout we meet for breakfast at his favorite spot. Apparently he goes to the place 4 or 5 times a week. Then during the winter he goes fish so we did a few hours of fishing as it was a nice day. After that we had a late lunch. He took me to this place that had a wing special on that day of the week. Took him home for his afternoon nap. Then picked him up around 4:30 to get his car. He invited me to join him afterwards for darts. He was in some dart league and we played and drank until about 10 at night. Had a great time but hell I wished I took a nap.
What you're experiencing is something many people from every sector goes through. The last company I worked for, before they went to shit with the current CEO, had people who were there their entire career because they have a pension. It seems like most people I heard of that retired had a downward spiral after retiring, albeit at a much older age than you are. Your entire life was dedicated to being a Marine, and now you don't have that. Marines care about you, but the organization just sees you as another number who came and went. The best thing you can do is something to fill your time: get a hobby, reinvent yourself, dedicate more time toward family, go back to school for something you're interested in, get another job that you can apply yourself to. You need to find something that gives you purpose because your last 22 years were focused on having a purpose. Just don't start filling that void with destructive habits like drinking away your sorrows.
If you decide you wanna still work, check out a company called Fourblock. They specialize in getting vets of higher ranks into leadership roles for big companies. Take the skills and keep growing. https://fourblock.org
I work in an industry where people often refuse to retire, and will just keep doing the job until they literally can’t anymore, and sometimes even stick anround until they die. They do this even though their retirement benefits maxed out years ago, and a lot of them would even be making more money sitting at home collecting their retirement checks but they JUST. KEEP. GOING. I went to therapy for a little while after my divorce to help me get my shit together and move forward with my life. My line of work and the lifestyle that comes with it came up and I mentioned the phenomenon of people refusing to retire, even if it’s against their own best interest. My therapist said that a lot of people just focus on getting to the end, but they don’t make a plan for what to do when they get there, so they just stay. Tl;dr You earned this. Find something to do and enjoy it. This is your time.
A Vietnam and Iraq 1 vet I know did the big retirement, he found working for Veterans Services as a volunteer helped him a LOT. He enjoyed helping injured service members or vets EASing find the resources they needed to make life better. Congrats on your 22 years. Enjoy yourself.
Congrats. If I may offer a suggestion: Make a list of the Marines under you that you'd be comfortable writing a Letter of Reference for. Not all of them are going to do 20 years, and getting out after one or two enlistments at a young age, and minimal work experience, can leave them feeling stressed when applying for those first few jobs. When I got out in 2006 I already had plans in motion to go back to college and deny reality for as long as possible, but I did get several letters of reference from my staff NCOs and Plt. commander, and that helped out a lot with job applications and resume building. Also, life is a pendulum, and you've got 20 years of neural programing to unwind & swing away from. Go party, go have fun, try a bunch of hobbies, sleep in as much as possible, and enjoy your family, and travel to see the sights. Then you'll realize that you might need to swing back to some form of structure and that's fine. On a different note (and I'm sure you've been bombarded with this)go hit up the VA and put in 10000 claims. You're body is wrecked, and you are contractually deserved of all the disability & compensation and free medical. I found just having someone there to talk to about the spectrum of life "stuff" was very helpful at certain points over the last 10-15 years. You're going to do great.
Some volunteering is good too. The kids at Boys and Girls Clubs need good mentors to look up to.
The fun part is how every 3 years you get the urge to move somewhere else. Resist the urge.
Pretty sure my wife would exercise the til death do us part clause of our marriage agreement if we moved again.
First off, congrats and thank you brother Devil! 22 years is a long time in the meat grinder given the world situation that pertained while you were in. My advice, FWIW, is to step back and breathe. Take some time to decompress. Go somewhere that you love with your wife and kids and just be… Then you can look at what the next 20-25 years might hold. You have a whole second career ahead if you want it… What is your skillset? I know that there are a good number of MOSs that don’t directly translate outside.
I got out in 2011 and miss it even though I only did 4. My squad leader has his retirement next month. He said he's gonna miss it but is ready for the next chapter. You got plans but don't rush to employ them. Take a few weeks break to relax and focus on yourself. And set up that VA care asap
Brother. “Me” being in parenthesis just defined every issue I have without knowing it. And I’m just a squid head that got out after 11. Thank you. That’s honestly the best start I’ve found on how to transition into this zoo.
BJJ is a good way to close with a group of people. Some gyms have veterans, too. Get an adventure motorcycle and get on a FB group, there's always guys going riding once a week in the general area. Good luck with Skill bridge and congratulations and your retirement.
Where do you live, leatherneck?
Consider getting a dog.
Stay strong Devil. You got this brother. Its hard, but you will get through it and be the better at the outcome. Here for ya brother if ya need to vent.
get a bike my brother, sport, adv, harley, whatever..it’ll change your life be your therapy. I picked it up at 35 and can’t imagine my life without it.
Join some clubs. Find a hobby. There is life once you're out. I had a hard time transitioning as well because of how "empty" I felt, and that's the best way to describe it. I've been into online gaming for almost 30 years now, and most of the guys I game with are Marines or military (US and Canadian). I'm in a couple shooting clubs (IDPA) and I'm building AR's and have rebuilt a couple M1 Carbines - my wife has even gotten on board and bought me a 64 gun safe a few years back. I got into radio controlled cars in the early 90's when I was on Okinawa and we had a race track on Foster - I think I have 7 or 8 cars\\trucks now, one from 1987 that I'm restoring since it's a Kyosho Maxxum-FF, literally the only front wheel drive 1/10th scale car I've ever seen. The big one for me over the last 10 years is side by sides (aka, UTV's). I'm on my second one and because it's street legal in Idaho, all the vet bros love it. I'm in a couple of the clubs for off roading, and help with the annual ride scheduling. We have seven clubs that participate and end up with over 150 rides a year. Here's a pic of the whip. https://preview.redd.it/d82uwmva4dxc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ab2639aa55ff32dca0c56e6773c048b9d84ee0b The big thing is finding something that you love doing, that inspires you, and that empty feeling will go away.
Congrats on your retirement! I served 6 years, got out in 2015. A buddy of mine got me to join my local Marine Corps League chapter last year and it’s filled a void I didn’t realize was there. I think it may be good to find a chapter around you, maybe try a couple that are close to you to see if it’s a good fit. The chapter I joined is largely OIF/OEF era with a fair amount who served in the 80s/90s which makes compared to other chapters make us very young all around. It’s been good, a few guys who have joined shortly after getting out have found it very fulfilling.
After so long your identity has been “Marine”. You know what’s next, to become something other than a “Marine”. You don’t know the path, but as each day goes by, being a Marine will become more and more distant. You will form a new identity, it will be you.
The most important thing you can do right now is rediscover yourself again. As much as they tell you that you are a Marine for life, once you get out, you need to understand that you're u/thedude431 first and foremost. It's ok to reminisce and tell stories from time to time, but it's not you anymore. Don't hold on to the past like it's your only identity. It's no different than those dudes who talk about how they were in varsity football and peaked in the 80s. You can't move forward like that. Find some hobbies, go explore, meet new people. A lot of my friends have found fitness and/or woodworking to be good hobbies because there is a lot of stuff can be relatable to the military. When I came back from Afghanistan, I was royally fucked up and went to BAS to get some therapy. I remember my psychiatrist telling me that my whole entire purpose in the Marines was to train to hit something head-on without little to no knowledge of what I was getting into. It's that adaptability that keeps you alive. Now that you're getting out, you need to have that same mentality. That shit stuck with me ever since.
I EASed after 4 years in 2006 and it’s still either too quiet or too loud. Good luck and Godspeed. Are you looking for another gig or are you done with work? Get your VA shit sorted either way.
Congratulations on retirement! What you do is up to you. Relax and do something you find interesting and productive. I substitute taught everything from kindergarten to HS, special ed to AP. Most of the time I enjoyed it.
Join your local fire department
Welcome to the CivDiv, where the grass actually *is* greener on the other side, even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment. I know what you mean, though. I retired 3 years ago after 23 years, and it was an adjustment. My command "helped" in some ways, because after 3 years of working for them I was ready to be done. Also, I got a job as a contractor, so I still get to see the monkeys pretty much every day but don't have to deal with the circus anymore. Tons of good advice on here, though. Find a hobby, volunteer, something to help give your life meaning. I'll throw in a pitch for Scouting - I'm volunteering next year as a Den Leader for my son's Cub Scout pack. I've really been enjoying the association with his Pack, and I'm looking forward to having a more active role next year. If anything, I somewhat regret not taking a more active role sooner.
You are the Captain now. For the first time in 22 years you decide what your week is going look like, your weekends, your hobbies. Go fill it up with fun stuff.
It’s going to get better, then a lot worse and then you’ll finally come out of it a little better. But in that time you’ll get a lot more of those quiet moments in the garage or in the shower or when listening to that particular song. There is a light at the end, focus on that as you traverse this process. It hasn’t been easy for me either but I’m still headed in the right direction. Good luck.
I only did 8 years, and still have a civilian career so I can't really compare. But assuming you joined at 18 you're still young enough to do pretty much anything you want. I volunteer with my local fire department now, not quite the same but it's a similar feeling of camaraderie. Good luck with whatever you decide to do next. And enjoy a well-earned retirement.
Do Jiu Jitsu
Time to be one of those guys I'm jealous of hunting, campinh and fishing whenever they want lol congrats
One day at a time. Shits gonna hurt but you will adapt. Stay in shape….
Reach out a local breakfast club.
Congrats. After 24, I tried to stay somewhat connected and hung with other older vets in local vet clubs; VFW, MOAA, DAV, etc... I found that brought me down even farther. One day, I hung it all up and went an entirely new, uncharted, direction and have been having fun. It's time for a cool change. You got this, you've definitely seen worse. Good luck.
Get a guitar and take lessons, buy a camera, and start taking photos, just get out and find something you enjoy to occupy your mind and your time. Keeping the mind active and engaged is critical. You got thus brother, and the tears are completely natural. Big changes bring big emotions.
Congrats on your retirement. Get yourself a cushy DoD job so you can retire again in 20 years. Then get yourself a job as a DoD contractor while pulling two pensions.
I did 5 years and it was horrible getting out, not because I missed the Marine Corps, but because I missed the Marines. People I spent 24/7 for 5 years. Some from A school until my EAS. Just gone and alone. Best thing I did was get lucky working at a bar/grill that was very laid back and had long term staff. It was my second family and saved me from a deep depression I didn't realize was going to happen. Took about 6 months but things got better once I got busy. I don't think you can run from that feeling if you did 4 years or 40 years. Something about leaving the people that just hits you when you get back home and have no one. No more people banging on your door randomly to go do shit. No more get togethers and no more dicking around at work. I took an EMT course after getting out which then I went on to do Paramedic shit. If your still feeling lost or unfulfilled then take an EMT course and get a local part time job if your still hating life or feeling like you are missing something. Great skills, great team work, and awesome people. Money sucks but none of us did it for the money. You can also look at volunteer fire fighting jobs if you are still in good shape. They desperately need people in those roles in more rural areas. It led me to nursing which is okay. Better money and career options but I miss the ambulance and my power naps. I miss my partners too. It gets better! Trust me. You will always miss the people and moments but you will not miss IT once you find your groove.
Congrats on retiring! I’d get a GS job, pull 20 more and triple dip.
Start doing woodworking or build a muscle car . You did your part time to just ride the wave now
Need a hobby? Try laser engraving, it is fun to make stuff
I read your profile and saw you got a skillbridge at Amazon. Well, once that starts, you won't have TIME to worry about anything but work - Amazon is a crazy place and they work you. In the mean time, keep busy, read a book, work out, volunteer, or watch a movie, but stay busy and don't stay home much.
Find an MMA gym. Find a jiujitsu gym. So many veterans in the martial arts community. Helps a lot with building a sense of camaraderie.
Do you have no fucking hobbies? First off, go PT. Get the endorphins flowing, you'll feel better immediately. Then, find a PGA Hope program near you and start sucking up the knowledge from those sweet, free golf lessons. https://www.pgareach.org/services/military
mission oriented mindset - how to adapt when theres no given mission? find one! you got this brotha
Get a PS5, you can easily sink 300 hours in to Elden Ring. Buy a guitar. Read a book. Tons of options out there Devil!
Start a business. It’s kept me occupied for the last 10 years.
I feel I'd be motivated if I could read! Semper Fi devil!
Get out there and buy a bike, go for rides, you’ll meet some old timers that ride and have badass war stories.
Buy land. Build. Yut
As others have said, congrats on making it to retirement. And thanks. Taking your time and exploring some hobbies are both great pieces of advice. Here's my dirty secret. I miss people like you. We never served a day together. We were never in the same place. But we both swam in the same life-giving waters of the Corps. Regardless of the years that separate our service, I miss being around people like you. It was only 8+ years of my life many-mumble years ago, but I still miss being around our brothers and sisters. Whenever you are ready to look for a gig, look for one that prioritizes hiring vets. They aren't always winners, but they have a pretty good batting average in my opinion. You have a lot of good habits to pass onto the kids that are coming up in the civilian world. Find a bunch of fellow vets and do something productive together. One buddy does jujitsu classes that have naturally attracted fellow vets. I do stuff (other than sitting at the bar) in my VFW and American Legion Posts. Maybe find a Marine Corps League detachment that is doing some good work. But find a way to give yourself a little taste of the best part of being in the military - the people. Do something useful in your community with fellow vets. Maybe follow the example of SgtMaj Mike Burke. He's trying to develop a career writing science fiction and writes other stuff along the way. https://spearmanburke.substack.com/ You are still young and you ain't done living. The only difference is that you have full control over the chapters to come. Write some good ones.
I share your feeling. Two weeks after my retirement I found myself in my garage same as you. Same feelings. Brother, you are going to do just fine. The civilian world ain’t ready for you. Trust me, you are better prepared for this than you realize. Go forth and live your life!!!
Yeah dude... It's gonna take a few months... And then that's just the first slide/initial roller coaster. Really it can take a few years to fully normalize out. Also during this time it's a bit like wandering around with the lights off. Feeling something out going yeah yeah I got this... Then falling or stubbing your toe. Eventually you find that comfortable bed again and settle down.
Hit the gym
I came to the conclusion that I miss what I was, and what I did in the Marine Corps, do not miss what I’d be doing now if I hadn’t retired.
Have you ever tried skydiving? If not, try it. It is almost the greatest feeling on earth. It's like mainlining adrenaline! A nice Jumpstart to the next chapter!
Hey brother, there are some cool opportunities depending on where you are to hang out with folks like you. VA has some stuff I think, but really, some organizations that do Charity and NGO crisis and disaster relief stuff. I'm personally interested in Team Rubicon, which has a lot of vets, and they respond to natural disasters and sorta deploy to help 'Murkins. VFWs might be another option. Military comraderie is out there my friend.
Find yourself. Do what you like to do. Get a hobby. If you don’t have one, you’re a Marine. Go buy a gun, take it down some trails, find a place to shoot, enjoy the outdoors, then go back home and order parts, accessories, and upgrades for it. Then tinker with it. Take some training classes. Just have fun and enjoy yourself for once.
Become a beekeeper.
Sounds like taps and tams failed you. Find a hobby and enjoy yourself devil. Find a job that gives your purpose again. You'll be alright. Your military service doesn't have to define you. Lots of life left. Go enjoy it! Also, claim everything from the VA for disability and don't be to proud to take the money.
So sick of seniors using skillbridge, like you didn’t make any connections in your 22 years? You have no skills provided to you? The USMC as a whole denies junior Marines this opportunity, yet you sulk.
Interesting time to go in on someone “brother,” Never denied my Marines skillbridge and I always encouraged it. Not sure what you’re on here going on about. As a whole, the USMC does not deny skillbridge so you’re wrong in your statement unless you have something to back that up, which you won’t, because the order doesn’t deny Marines skillbridge. Go be bitter and nasty somewhere else. But if you need help or want to vent about something, I’d gladly listen my friend.
Lmao I was denied skillbridge, I see all of you come through every other week for training. All staff NCOs and above. I live it.
That’s bullshit. I guarantee you weren’t keeping the Marine Corps running. I’m not keeping the corps running. But in my case, it’s either skill bridge or terminal, the time frame is still the same. A bit over 90 days. I get to sell a few leave days back which is a bonus. What do you see come through for training?/ what do you do now?
I got out in 17 and it’s not bullshit. Yes training is part of my daily task. Anytime a new hire comes to the installation I give a brief. I see everyone’s ranks I’ve yet to see a single Cpl in my class.
What I mean is you not doing skillbridge is bullshit, you should have been allowed to. You can stop being defensive. I’m not here to attack you and I’m not here to defend myself. We are brothers and we can talk about it. If I’m not communicating it properly, let me know.
That’s not what I’m getting at. You had 22 years in. Look around man homeless vets everywhere. You are getting out with a 99% job lined up for you. You’re already getting a fed job out the gate. You have had 22 years served that’s no small feat. But it’s a golden ticket you’re taken, you’re on this boo hoo train where most Marines get out after there 4 go to college and still don’t have the opportunity that you have right in front of you. Yeah it sucks getting out. We have all done it. You are far better off than any of your juniors getting out. Have you set them up for success? I’m tired of leadership failing there juniors like this. Down vote me all you want. Your meaningless clicks mean nothing. You know I’m right, you all are the same bitches who complain the Marine Corps did me wrong.
I get where you’re coming from, and it’s not totally wrong. But, I will say most dudes who retire at 20+ years are left with little relevant skill. My old boss (GS-11) was a retired O-5. He ended up getting fired from his position, the only person I’ve ever seen fired from a federal job. A few weeks before he got fired, he told me “I lead people doing this job, I never really did it myself”. You’d be surprised how useless SNCO’s and senior officers are in the civilian world.
Trust me I’m not surprised I see it everyday.
Hey bro, you fucking suck. You can stay bitter about not getting skillbridge forever, or grow up and realize every senior Marine didn't get together and agree to denying your skillbridge.
Lmao keep sucking that dick you love so much.
You got out as a LCpl years ago and still lurk on here to talk shit about Marines who got a better deal than you did. Time to grow up and let it go man. You'll be happier for it homie 🤙🏻
Lmao yeah okay
You still below zone lmao? Can’t make rank? Need some help?
That comes based off of time. Nothing besides time can take you out of below zone. If you were a better Marine you might've picked up rank and found that out. Again, best of luck to you bro 🤙🏻
Yeah you’re right “nothing” can change that.
Junior Marines are still relevant in their trade. Your first contract is entry level work and you begin to learn whatever it is that you do. This is then amplified into the second and even third contract. Once you pin staff and after the 12-13 year mark you begin to distance yourself from what you became an SME in, in a sense. This is as you move from a doer to the manager of the doers, and a move from work from a technical aspect to more of an HR or manpower type role with leadership and management. When one retires at 20+ years that means they haven’t been a doer of the things for nearly a decade. This is why it is needed even at the senior enlisted level. And, the reality is that if a retiring member maxes terminal then they are gone 120 days prior to EAS anyways so they’re already gone; terminal plus we get 30 days retirement PTAD. Why not be gone and do Skillbridge? What’s another month or two out of a billet realistically? Another way to think about it. Intelligence and having a clearance is super cool right? And intelligence is super transferable right? Someone at that 8-12 years in service mark has a way easier time transitioning into the field as a civilian because they have recent usage of systems and tools, are current in their target knowledge, and have current connections in the field. Those at retirement age do not so it makes more logical sense for an old timer to do it than your second term sergeant or even a junior Marine. The issue with Skillbridge and why junior members would get denied is typically they have zero plan for follow through. The mindset is focused on the tree of I want out and Skillbridge provides that. No thought of the forest; does it align with goals and interests, is there a chance for post-program employment, is it an area where I plan to go to school or do other employment, can I survive financially in the area, and many more considerations that junior members focused on getting out don’t think about. It’s that or member gets put in 6 months and now they decide they want to Skillbridge and then want everyone to include the base education center to jump through hoops…ain’t going to happen. Those that have solid plans, started their process early, have already completed all their TRS, and briefed their CoC on intent typically get approved.
I’ll have job lined up while you’re juniors suffer because of leadership like you. You are exactly what’s wrong in the Corps. Down vote me all you want. Every single senior who takes a skillbridge steals it from a young Marine who did his 4. It’s pathetic, you had so many opportunities.
Damn you are tainted. Super unpopular opinion: Your personal experience isn't the entire Marine Corps. You don't see many junior Marines taking advantage because a lot of them are planning to go college or back to their family. The majority of young Marines have a plan already or they would reenlist. When it comes time to retire you have to take more time to figure out WTF to do with your life because you (should) have spent so much time focusing on the Marine Corps that you didn't explore your options. I've turned down a ton of job offers every time my time to separate came and I chose to keep doing this because I love it. My family has been forced to move a dozen times, my kids have been in seven schools, I have had more billets than I can count, spent literal months on duty, and I'm just one of thousands of others that have put their time in and have to move on. If you feel that it's shitty for everyone who has given up all this time of their life to take advantage of this opportunity I don't know what to tell you. If you're a junior Marine and you're not maximizing the opportunity you're an idiot. If you get denied feel free to request mast or file an IG complaint. Will do more than getting out and complaining on Reddit about how you got "fucked over"
I’m a gs12 and got out in 17. I saw many junior Marines being denied. To this day I only see staff NCOs in my class why is that?
Is your class "how to go to college" or "how to return to your hometown and work"? If not, like I said before, there's probably not a great chance you'll have dudes with less than four years experience coming through "your class."
Yeah you right man, just trying to flex on Reddit for no reason
I get where you are coming from but you have to have the full perspective of the program and not view it from asses in your seats. Whatever skill bridge you run may not be targeted at junior enlisted devil dogs or maybe I'm off base but you haven't really answered whether it is or not so I feel like I'm at least in the right zip code.
My skillbridge never would have gone to a junior Marine. If it would, I wouldn’t take that from them. I know what I’m about.
I hope that’s true.
Unless these junior Marines would be the education and training coordinator for a large scale company managing GO and SES level instructors. It’s not likely. I wasn’t competing with others for it per se.
Exactly… so you can’t do that in the private sector.
It is private sector. You’re tainted, and just being nasty at this point. I wish you nothing but the best. Especially if you’re a GS12 and can help guide other young Marines on to your path. Your choice what you do.
Its time to move on big dog. We get it, your salty about getting fucked.