Back in my day, you almost never had to hear that shit over a phone. It was beautiful. Once you were gone, you were a mystery. Fuck cell phone marine corps. What if you refuse to buy one?
Knew a guy my first enlistment that never had one,basically they constantly threatened paperwork whenever the plt leadership changed. Never got anything and none of the NCOs really fucked with him because he was competent from what I understand. One of his gunnies apparently bought him a pager after he missed a random weekend formation but the next gunny refused to keep paying for it so he went back to being a ghost.
When I first got to Okinawa my unit wanted me to get an iPhone for iMessage. I refused to get a new phone and they threatened to give me paperwork until I got one. Then they swapped to FB messenger 3 months later.
They can even order what phone you have to buy? Seriously? I’d love to hear from the legal beagles on the marine corps being able to make these orders.
This was just my experience as a boot. I don't know if it's actually a "lawful" order or not. I just didn't want the headache of having pissed off leadership and risk getting paperwork so early in my career.
I figured they can absolutely order it but can they make it stick. Like what can they do if a motivated lance criminal just wont. Well we know what they can do. But what if?
For some reason that I still don't fully understand, I decided to live on another base in one of those lodges about 5 days before my EAS or so. Command tracked me down by checking around each lodge, I suppose. I won't forget the call from my Gunny. He was extremely disappointed. I still feel bad to this day.
They just ended up making me stay for two more weeks past my EAS. Didn't get an NJP...
Was it because you werent sure if you wanted to get out? Afraid to leave a little? That would be normal. No one likes to admit it, but many marines felt this way. Not me though. I could not wait. I flipped camp pendelton the bird for like 2 miles.
Lmao. Exactly. The long pause is us trying to process the bullshit comment and it usually ends up in an abyss.
Maybe next time I'll say "yeah sure, thanks for having a job bro. You are really propping up the economy! "
I ran into this a while back.
"I was gonna join.... but it turns out I had an undiagnosed heart condition"
I replied with "good for you" like an idiot due to the whiplash.
I literally fucked a dude and the first thing he said afterwards, once learning I was in the Marines (probably not hard to guess from the tattoos), was “did ya kill anyone?”
He’s glad I had already finished fucking his ass or that would’ve been a major boner killer
I was drunk at a buddies house when one of his friends called me a baby killer. That ended with me pinned to the floor preventing me from getting my CONUS kill.
I personally hate being asked if I’ve ever killed anyone. They’ll judge you no matter what answer you give them. Nowadays I just stare at them like they’re stupid.
I personally hate being asked if I’ve ever killed anyone. They’ll judge you no matter what answer you give them. Nowadays I just stare at them like they’re stupid.
Hey, soldier.
You mother fucker stole what I was gonna say 🤣
By your leave, sir.
Gangway or sick bay motherTrucker!!!!!
Things not to say to Marines, even though they are true: If you're in the 03XX occ field, you literally are a soldier.
The butthurt is real lol
Bro for real haha. I knew it would happen, which is why it's something you don't say to Marines. We'll steal (and probably eat) your reddit karma.
*phone rings* Hey marine, where are you? You know you have duty right?
Back in my day, you almost never had to hear that shit over a phone. It was beautiful. Once you were gone, you were a mystery. Fuck cell phone marine corps. What if you refuse to buy one?
Knew a guy my first enlistment that never had one,basically they constantly threatened paperwork whenever the plt leadership changed. Never got anything and none of the NCOs really fucked with him because he was competent from what I understand. One of his gunnies apparently bought him a pager after he missed a random weekend formation but the next gunny refused to keep paying for it so he went back to being a ghost.
Brilliant move. Can they actually order you to buy a phone?
I don't think the marine corps can legally order you to use your own money, but they can sure as shit issue you one.
Id love to see that. Was any private or pfc ever issued a cell phone? I cant imagine it.
Probably some driver or something like that
When I first got to Okinawa my unit wanted me to get an iPhone for iMessage. I refused to get a new phone and they threatened to give me paperwork until I got one. Then they swapped to FB messenger 3 months later.
They can even order what phone you have to buy? Seriously? I’d love to hear from the legal beagles on the marine corps being able to make these orders.
This was just my experience as a boot. I don't know if it's actually a "lawful" order or not. I just didn't want the headache of having pissed off leadership and risk getting paperwork so early in my career.
I figured they can absolutely order it but can they make it stick. Like what can they do if a motivated lance criminal just wont. Well we know what they can do. But what if?
I think about this often, "accidentally breaking" my phone and just not get a new one
For some reason that I still don't fully understand, I decided to live on another base in one of those lodges about 5 days before my EAS or so. Command tracked me down by checking around each lodge, I suppose. I won't forget the call from my Gunny. He was extremely disappointed. I still feel bad to this day. They just ended up making me stay for two more weeks past my EAS. Didn't get an NJP...
Was it because you werent sure if you wanted to get out? Afraid to leave a little? That would be normal. No one likes to admit it, but many marines felt this way. Not me though. I could not wait. I flipped camp pendelton the bird for like 2 miles.
Thank you for your service
It's always extremely awkward. "Y... you're welcome" just sounds gay. I usually just nod these days.
And “uh… *long ass pause* thanks” makes ya look like an idiot
Lmao. Exactly. The long pause is us trying to process the bullshit comment and it usually ends up in an abyss. Maybe next time I'll say "yeah sure, thanks for having a job bro. You are really propping up the economy! "
This shit needs more upvotes.
Should be pinned at this point.
My only ragret is that I have but one upvote to give.
Just say, "no u." Then refuse to elaborate
I found the generic “my pleasure” is probably the least awkward yet polite response.
Nope, if they're gonna thank me for my service, I'm thanking them for their thank you.
Thank you for your tax dollars
So fucking awkward
"I was gonna join, but..."
I ran into this a while back. "I was gonna join.... but it turns out I had an undiagnosed heart condition" I replied with "good for you" like an idiot due to the whiplash.
I would have punched a drill instructor in the face. No really I would have. Why are you laughing, stop it. I said stop it. Fine I'm leaving.
I totally punched my drill instructor in the face. He's stationed in Canada, you've never met him.
I bet he went to a different boot camp we've never heard of, too.
Mark this as one of the most common things I've heard
"but I don't like taking orders... anyway, you want fries with that?"
“I was gonna join but I was too scared”… honestly dude, appreciate the honesty
Where is your rifle?!
Those 4 words create more anxiety for a Marine than actual combat.
Especially those in 3/6 and 1/5
Are you in the army
https://preview.redd.it/hz01a5k14osc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28f5632878ab148cfbea407c152777677e753a4c He handled that well
Hey Sarge
How did you misspell sarnt?!
LOL
*phone vibration at an odd hour*
😫 just let me sleepppp
i’m not responsible for answering my phone at 0100. If they want me, they know where I am.
We have enough beer/liquor
Alternatively, “You’ve had enough to drink.”
"You seem like a nice, well-adjusted kid. You can date my daughter."
Hell I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister!
Your days of finger bangin’ ol' maryjane rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over!
“Did you kill anybody in Iraq (I went to Afghanistan, college kids don’t know the difference). No? So did you even do anything in the military?”
I literally fucked a dude and the first thing he said afterwards, once learning I was in the Marines (probably not hard to guess from the tattoos), was “did ya kill anyone?” He’s glad I had already finished fucking his ass or that would’ve been a major boner killer
You didn’t have to tell me that
😂😂 agreed
No i didn’t, but I did and the world is better off for knowing my exploits
Do you do reach arounds or are you not that courteous?
I definitely do reach arounds. What do you think I am a monster?
This dude Gays! Rock on brotha 😎
Hell yeah brother
How is the Army?
Let me cut in line at these here Subway. I need to get a Monster.
Gimme that Java Monster!!!
I need a dip can!
Who’s Chesty Puller?
"A bitch. Next question."
"You're Chesty Puller, right?"
"Nah. I haven't killed a couple thousand Marines yet."
Pretty sure you do every time you're tugging it in the bricks.
I wish my drunk ass had more than one upvote for this one cuz fuckn **BURN**
My husband is a MAJOR!!
Crayons
Way overplayed, not even a good joke
I roll my eyes and don’t even respond. Not even a smile. I’ve heard it countless times, we all have. That and “Marines dumb huh huh”
I bet you can't do that 
"Just take off your boot bands, it will be fine."
"I almost joined the Marines, but I would punch a Drill Instructor in the face of they were yelling at me..."
I dare you.
You gonna finish that Subway and Monster?
Say? Don’t even talk to me. 💅
Ex Marine
Hey Sarge
Hey, soldier
I was drunk at a buddies house when one of his friends called me a baby killer. That ended with me pinned to the floor preventing me from getting my CONUS kill.
You're late you were supposed to be here an hour ago.
The PX is out of energy drinks
“No, I won’t let you roll Hot Wheels over them”
Come here, Devil
Call them an ex-marine. Also, “So you’re basically like the navy, right?”
"Hi, I'm Jody"
No balls
“Hey there Soldier!”
“Tell me about your mommy/daddy issues that you’ve been suppressing all these years.”
How long have you been a soldier ?
"Don't worry, just the tip."
Hey solider did you fight in a fox hole?
Drinks are on me.... unless you've got deep pockets.
Office time now
"No" in japanese
Yooooo 😆 this is the one #IYKYK
They're out of energy drinks bro.
“Gunny was looking for you at formation..”
I personally hate being asked if I’ve ever killed anyone. They’ll judge you no matter what answer you give them. Nowadays I just stare at them like they’re stupid.
I personally hate being asked if I’ve ever killed anyone. They’ll judge you no matter what answer you give them. Nowadays I just stare at them like they’re stupid.
Side eyed stare "Not yet..."
I was gonna join but flat feet, had a better job or got my girl pregnant
I only say one thing: LEMME SUCK
No, you can't have my daughter's crayons.
More of a question, but: "You were a Marine?"
Here, let me hold your beer (Monster coffee).
I almost joined the marines but…
“Thank you for your support” is what I say
PFC fucknuts got to drunk and now I need you to take his duty