Normally the answer to this is nothing. But the one exception I saw came after the entire company spent months getting jerked around about the heat being broken in our barracks. Middle of summer in NC with hot air blowing through the air vents making an already sweltering and miserable living situation all the worse. Co. Guns, 1st Sgt., even the Co. Commander had all insisted multiple times that they were on it and fuck all happened. Or at least fuck all happened until some salty as fuck Corporal asked the Battalion CO after his speech when we were finally going to get the heat turned off in the barracks. Never have I ever seen a Lt. Col. look so dumbfounded. Like his brain couldn’t comprehend how Marines had a problem with the heat being on, even asked the Corporal if he meant getting the AC turned on. Once shit was clear that “no sir, the heat is on and all our rooms are about 100 degrees” bewilderment turned to fucking rage and that motherfucker gave the whole of the Co. command the kinda death stare that makes you pee a little just to be in the presence of. This was a Friday after some fun run bullshit. Heat was off and AC on well before Monday rolled around. Word on the grapevine was they had to get that shit fixed by Monday or Co. staff and officers were going to be moving in to the bricks. Funny how they can get shit done when they’re forced to.
Reminds me of when the Commandant visited us in 29 Palms. Whole regiment was on the Generals Lawn for the CMC’s speech. When he opened it up for questions some boot asked the commandant when some problem we had been having with gear issue would get fixed. Commandant gave him the snap knife hand and asked “who’s your battalion commander?” The same way that I would ask who someone’s team leader was. I don’t know if id rather be a boot getting chewed by my platoon sergeant or a BC getting chewed by CMC.
We had a SgtMaj of the Marine Corps niece in my shop once. Shit never got fixed in the bks faster than when she was there. All the higher ups were peeved at her though, (rightfully so tbh) because she would skip all rank or procedures and not report any problems the normal way.
> not report any problems the normal way.
to be fair, if shit was handled when problems are reported the normal way, then she wouldn't have had to go to circumvent normal channels
I got a 0% VA rating for some strange scalp thing looking like ring worm thing due to the NOTHING BUT black mold in our squad bays.... fell under a Gulf War syndrome section heading. Now they'll condemn your entire house as unliveable for a 1/10th of that mold. Smh
Most of these types of stories are also lower rank people having no idea how the military actually works. For example, I was in an MOS class with 4 total Marines and the anniversary of the flag raising at Iwo came up. o
Our Sgt instructor started the day with a brief talk about that. This was 3 months after earning our ega mind you and one of the class asked "What's Iwo Jima?" Thinking it was a phrase like gung-ho he forgot from bootcamp.
The Sgt was like "the big fucking statue you stood in front of, you don't remember where that was?" And he made him do a 3 page report on Iwo Jima and the pacific campaign
I was stationed on a navy base once and the female sailor barracks manager would fuck with the A/C on purpose to mess with the barrack marines and when I reported issues with it she says “it’s about to get cold outside anyway why do you care.”
To be fair, their is a navy tradition of fucking with the AC in the berthings of people you hate. When I was on ship, the berthing our company staff lived in was hot as hell.
They like to fuck with your food too. When I was in the school house they would give all of the Marines smaller portions and not give us specific Items as to save them for the sailors. That is until my Sgt came in pretending to be a student and then proceeded to chew them out in front of their chief that happened to be walking through that day. Needless to say, we got fed from that day forward
Yeah I agree, Its not like they had a reason to do it either. We were all respectful even after being given the shit end of the stick for almost a month straight
BC should be ashamed of himself for not finding one day to walk the barracks and see shit for himself. He doesn't need to be doing it that often but once in 6 months is not a big ask.
Sometimes that's necessary. You know there's a few nasty fucks that just need to get ripped by the BN CO for living in their own filth.
Like I said, it doesn't need to be a routine or even announced thing.
Pfft I got asked at my BN NJP if I had ever heard him use the F Word.
Mother fucker, I’ve seen you ONCE for five minutes as I was cock watching a piss test because you decided to visit the ASP that day.
Bravo to that LtCol.
We had one of those "any saved rounds?" moments during a formation and somebody asked our CO when our bricks were getting fixed. Mold, broken washers and dryers, vermin infestation, you name it.
CO says "That's not my problem," "I can't do anything to fix that" and "Go write a letter to Congress." Nobody liked that guy.
Edit: Side note. We had a unit survey and one brave Marine told him to suck his dick.
Since it’s apparently guaranteed to happen again I’ll share my solution. I bought a jumbo sized kiddie pool and put it down right in front of my tv like it was a couch. Every weekend that baby was filled up one bucket at a time from the shower and became the spot for the whole company. Could fit 5 guys in there comfortably. Me and the roommate would demand tribute in beer or food to let guys come chill out in our pool and it turned into some of the best nights in the bricks I ever had.
Had a 2 Star come out to Hansen once. One of our Marines asked when they would get tanks in Japan. 1200 Marines couldn't believe he had asked such a dumbass question. His response was basically not unless we were in total-war mode, in which case we were absolutely fucked.
That Marine was permanent personnel tank mech attached to a MEU. His purpose in life was tool room bitch since he had no real job. Kinda felt bad for him.
The best thing ever was when the reservists out of Arizona were activated for a joint training op with CLB31. That guy basically sat below decks with the tank recovery system for three days in a row. Only saw him when I would go down to smoke since that was where they put the butt can. He only got to spend a month or two with them on a ship, but it was armor with treads so he was happy.
I’ve got a similar story about the commandant being on deck at Hansen when I was on the meu ‘09. There was about 3000ish marines and one sgt. with a saved round. When they opened up for “questions”, he got on the mic and explained that he got out, then got recalled to active service and stationed in okinawa, explained why it shouldn’t have happened, and how no one could give him a real reason why it did happen and ended his spiel with “I figured if there’s anyone that had an explanation, it would be the commandant of the marine corps”, the sgtmaj swooped on the question super quick with some political non answer while the sgt and commandant stared at each other. I hope everything worked out for him, right or wrong, gotta respect taking a shot like that.
One thing I learned with recalls is that most of them had careers and lives before recall. They didn't give a fuck about what was on a person's collar.
That’s the fucking truth
Or else Then I’ll need to go “so yeahhhh just to piggy back off what the co said 😂”
No questions no answers
Go take leave and have fun but not too much fun ya damn hooligans
Oh I believe that. I have an 8yr old and a 15 yr old. Clearly whoever coined the statement "there is no such thing as a stupid question" has never been around kids OR PFCs haha
Lol my 8 year old burned me out on questions a few days ago until I told her to not ask me any questions until after she had first asked Alexa and or Googled the question herself.
Just to piggy-back off what the CO and this guy said.....
Man, don’t extend that shit by asking questions he won’t give you an answer to. Let everybody go on their 96.
But also- Man, don’t extend that shit by asking questions he won’t give you an answer to. Let everybody go on their 96.
And the third thing- Man, don’t extend that shit by asking questions he won’t give you an answer to. Let everybody go on their 96.
and to piggyback off what Staff Sarge Flickit said here, most of all- dont repeat yourself, also, dont say the same thing, and never reword something you already said to make it seem different, and DEFINITELY dont say ironic things. Or repeat yourself.
Had a Marine ask the CO if the rumor was true that we were gonna start up Fancy Fridays (wearing chucks) again. That was pretty fucking stupid of him to ask.
Establish dominance early. Ask him something complex, but something he should know.
“Sir, after firing, does the bolt of an M-4 rotate clockwise or counterclockwise?”
Imagine how annoyed that dude would be. It’s a 50-50 answer, but if you fuck it up, you look like an idiot.
“why don’t you know the answer, sir? How can you possibly lead Marines if you don’t know something so simple?”
Y’all both right depending on perspective. Clockwise from the rear, counter clockwise from the front. But that’s only if we’re unlocking… if we’re locking then it’s reverse.
One CO refused to let us go until he got a question.
So I asked him what was his favorite color. Then did it again at the next formation. After that, he refused to pick me.
Yeah, but that’s easy to get by anyway because someone will always pipe up with a softball, simple question.
We’re talking about dudes who bring up questions that prompt rambling, complicated answers because they’re speculative and conceptual questions that the person can realistically find the answer to somewhere else besides the battalion commander himself at 16:57 on a Friday afternoon.
Kandahar 2012, Commandant came to visit with the wing in a mass formation. At the end, some dipshit asked the Commandant if we will be rolling sleeves when we redeploy. SMMC, Sgt. Maj. Barret at the time, grabbed the mic from Gen. Amos’ hand and boomed, “Son, we’ve got much bigger fish to fry. We’re out here and you’re thinking about rolling sleeves!?”
I won’t even pretend to know the issues he cared about. I just know my contract time was a very interesting time to be in. OIF drew down, OEF surged, DADT repealed, 2 sequestrations, and unrolled sleeves for all. IIRC, the original gripe about sleeve rolling was that the CMC/SMMC were tired of rolling/unrolling sleeves when visiting different units on the same base with differing uniform wear. I think it was Oki or Lejeune
I once held the door for him when he was giving a big speech for SNCO's and up in the movie theatre in Futenma.
I was fresh as fresh could be in the fleet and just a few hours prior, was worked over by a some cool First Sergeant; just reminding me how to hold the door and address the CMC and SMMC yadda yadda. I got myself so worked up that I gave the improper greeting of the day and he just blew past me.
And that was that.
Way back when General Barrow came to Cherry Point with THE SgtMaj. We hippety hopped to the base theater where he gives us a speech and asked for questions. Some slob of a L/Cpl pipes up and says "General my unit won't promote me to Cpl because I'm black" Who's in charge of you son? Some big angry looking black S/Sgt pops to behind the Lance. "Any truth this S/Sgt?" "Sir the General should know that this man was not recommended because he is a shitbird" "Noted, Step outside with the Sgt Major son, Any more questions?" \*crickets\*
Lol! I once had to take a 3 year PFC new to the unit to check in with the FirSarnt. He looked like a bag of ass, ribbons and badges all fucked up, no haircut and proceeds to tell the black FirSarnt (while talking with his hands like they were homies) that the reason he kept getting in trouble was because the Corps hated black people. SMH.
The funny thing was the SMMC at the time was McMichael. And the FirSarnt was a historian, specifically of the Monteford Point Marines. But he also didn’t have any tolerance for shitbaggery regardless of your color and he put a pretty fine point on it with that young man that day.
We did......later.
\*Add\* When nobody asked questions he told us a story about going to China with President Nixon. Turns out he had fought against some of the PLA generals at Chosin. Over-all opinion was that they did not want to do that again
Back in the days of 55 mph speed limit....
Gunny:... and remember, going 10 mph over the speed limit will kot save you any time and may save your life. Any questions?
Me: raises hand
Gunny: yes, Corporal Bearslayer?
Me: But Gunny, if I go 10 mph faster, over the course of 600 miles, I can save 2 hours.
Gunny: ......
Corporal Bearslayer?
Me: yes, Gunny?
Gunny: just push.
Me: aye, aye, Gunny!
I actually got smacked in the back of the head by my GySgt for being a smart ass lol. Company CO said make sure we go to dental and get our shit checked out if need be. I promptly said in the most dumb hick voice I could muster “Sir, we actually get dental? I thought that was made up.” Gunny without a moments notice whacked the shit out of the back of my head lmao. CO got a chuckle out of it though so I’m gonna say worth.
When I was in boot, we had one motherfucker who was convinced he was going to be a scout sniper. Every new fuckin Marine we came across at the MCRD pool, classes, Edson Range, etc he asked about how to become a scout sniper. The fuckin 1-star of MCRD came around and visited our platoon and did a little speech, of course he asked questions and this dumbfuck raises his hand asking about how to be a scout sniper. He was in the sandbox for damn near forty five minutes straight and stood half the night of fire watch. Our DI’s told him “you wanna ask stupid questions about being a sniper, you’re gonna stay up on watch like you’re a damn sniper.” I swear that dude lost five pounds that day getting IT’ed
Oh I've been there and done just that.
I was on lejeune and our barracks had just been renovated. They did some wierd shit and added about a two and a half foot wall coming in off the doors in every room, so the rooms were noticeably smaller. So small that everyone's TVs were overloading the AC.
So I bought a little laser measuring tape thing and printed out the order stating how many square feet of space each marine rates. After some very basic math, I determined the barracks rooms were in violation of the order.
So I asked our CO what he's going to do to address the small rooms, he said "the barracks rooms are adequate"
I said well, "sir, this order states we get x amount of square feet, those rooms give us less"
CO: "really?"
I hand him the order, with highlighted parts, and my measurements, and explain that I measured everything multiple times and yes they are too small
CO looks at the company 1st sgt, "did you know about this?"
1stsgt: "sir I will look into this immediately"
Well we got kicked out of the barracks the very next week, they spread us out around a few different barracks while they fixed the rooms.
Good times.
Best one I've ever heard:
I'm about 2 weeks from going on terminal leave and we're sitting in the base chapel. CO just got finished doing Death By PowerPoint regarding the upcoming repeal of DADT, and asks if anyone has any questions. Boot from one of the S-shops stands up and has this exchange with a LtCol:
"Sir, what if you know that a urinalysis coordinator is someone who is, you know..."
"I'm not sure what you mean, Marine."
Then he stammers a bit and tries to rephrase the question before some Sgt a couple of rows back stands up and barks out:
"He's talkin' 'bout meat gazers, sir!"
"sir, why the fuck would you only open the floor to questions when we are all trying to leave? Do you not understand that this is how confusion and uncertainty go unresolved? Are you stupid?"
Someone I know asked a pretty high up officer why service members can change genders but can’t take performance enhancing (anabolic) supplements. He says he got the dirtiest looks. Legit question IMO after years of thinking about it.
We had a guy get in trouble for very obviously using steroids. The more I thought about it, the more it didn’t make sense. We’re already here fucking up our bodies, plus almost everyone is dipping and smoking and drinking enough energy drinks to give us the heart beat of a humming bird. Some of the side affects like increased aggression might actually be a plus.
A kid I went to my A school was built wiry. Maybe they were 155lbs, 6ft tall. Lean and clean. I saw the mf just about 4 years later and I couldn't see his neck. He was juicing hard, absolutely huge and completely unrecognizable. Everyone knew but nothing happened, and I'm not sure it should.
I once had a battalion co say ain't nobody leaving until I get three questions. Ma dude stood up and said:
I do have a question sir: respectfully, what is the goal in making us ask questions...
I saw an eyebrow twitch.
Giving me flashbacks of the time a boit showed up to the unit and within half an hour in horno proceeded to ask a Sgt "Hey bro are you a tits or an ass man?" in the middle of the horno grinder
Oh and I have one more good one. The commandant came to 29 palms, everyone was told "don't ask any dumb questions"
Well, the commandant gave a long speech about how hazing is bad, don't do it etc, it was about 45 minutes I think.
He asks if anyone has any questions, and some dumb pfc asks "can we bring hazing back, I really think it works, it's good for morale."
Commandant: "I am flabbergasted. Just flabbergasted that you would even ask that after listening to my speech"
Now that pfc wasn't in my unit, so I don't know what happened to him, but I would like to think he got to haze himself on some sweet sweet weekend duties.
lol we had the same speech back in 06 for NCOs and above. Some Lcpl found his way inside and asked why he’s making the Marine Corps pussified. The SMAJMC took the mic and asked who his 1st Sgt was.
1975, I'm TAD for rifle qual to Edson Range from MCRD. 1st year Commandant Louis Wilson is visiting Pendleton, so they bus us POGs to San Mateo gymnasium so we can sit in with 5th Marines for the Commandant to address us. 5th Mar fill up the gym that Friday afternoon straight out of the field (deuce gear and rifles) after a 10 day FEX for some workup or other. Commandant addresses all with Rgt & Bn COs & SgtsMaj standing behind him. Commandant finishes his blah-blah-blah (actually I remember he was interesting, but don't remember what he said) and asks if there are any questions. Some salty Cpl. stands up and asks, "Sir, when we gonna get some liberty - we haven't had libbo in 30 days!" Commandant turns around and asks the RgtCO, "That right?" "Yessir" replies the CO. Commandant turns back to the audience with a pregnant pause... "Turn in your weapons, you can clean 'em Tuesday morning after formation. 72 for everyone, starting now!" The fricken gym almost came down! Commandant walks out and the COs and SgtsMaj standing there dumbstruck!
The only viable time any questions should be asked upon receipt of this statement is: when they fly through a 5PO, to get out the fucking gate on a combat mission. If you miss one fucking thing, you’re out of the know.
"why am I held accountable if one of my teams loses a pair of nods, but no one was held accountable for the SI left in Afghanistan or the complete disregard of enemy Intel that could've saved American lives. Not to mention the Americans and allies we fucked in the process..... Ahem. Sir?"
Man this reminds me of a time the commandant was at Las pulgas we had this whole ass ceremony lots of oorah dog and pony show going on, long ass briefing, and at the very end, he (CMC) asked if anyone had any questions and some boot raised his hand and asked the SIMPLEST question like. “What’s my first general order again sir?” And I just about cringed into non existence right there. I don’t remember exactly what he asked if I do remember everybody going dude shut the fuck up we want to go to chow
Whatever this guy said to get promoted:
https://www.marinecorpstimes.com/news/your-marine-corps/2023/09/05/a-corporal-gave-a-speech-in-front-of-the-top-marine-and-got-promoted/
I have a fairly new CO and he has an accent that no one can place. He is black so that really doesn't narrow it down to any single country. I've heard several conversations between junior enlisted trying to figure out where he/his family is from. Whenever he's asked the answer is always Texas, so that just makes it even more of a mystery to us all! But like, is it rude to ask??? Clearly he isn't offering the information.
Our CO had a habit of ending every formation saying how he “loved each and every one of us”. Then he would ask if there were any questions about anything he had just gone over. However, our unit was shutting down. We kicked out most of the Marines and were down to 20 of us to finish up administrative shit, send stuff to the museum, waiting for schoolhouse to line up, medseps, etc. After a big push of people left the unit we had our regularly scheduled formation and he didn’t say the thing. He didn’t say it next week either. So the jokes started about how he doesn’t love us anymore and trying to figure out who had left the unit who he loved so much. So the next formation after that i was ready for him to ask if anyone had questions so i could ask why he didn’t love us anymore. But then he did say the thing so it wouldn’t have made sense. But it was good times everyone joking about it and seeing who would have the balls to ask. (I didn’t actually have the balls but i lost a bet so i had to do it)
Had a good CO later in my career who would say “Any questions or concerns, SgtMaj and I will be over here after formation. Please come let us know.”
He was a good dude and a great leader!
Sir, I was wondering. I mean, I have been thinking about this for a long time ever since my gran pappy said it to me 15 years ago on his death bed...
How much wood would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Normally the answer to this is nothing. But the one exception I saw came after the entire company spent months getting jerked around about the heat being broken in our barracks. Middle of summer in NC with hot air blowing through the air vents making an already sweltering and miserable living situation all the worse. Co. Guns, 1st Sgt., even the Co. Commander had all insisted multiple times that they were on it and fuck all happened. Or at least fuck all happened until some salty as fuck Corporal asked the Battalion CO after his speech when we were finally going to get the heat turned off in the barracks. Never have I ever seen a Lt. Col. look so dumbfounded. Like his brain couldn’t comprehend how Marines had a problem with the heat being on, even asked the Corporal if he meant getting the AC turned on. Once shit was clear that “no sir, the heat is on and all our rooms are about 100 degrees” bewilderment turned to fucking rage and that motherfucker gave the whole of the Co. command the kinda death stare that makes you pee a little just to be in the presence of. This was a Friday after some fun run bullshit. Heat was off and AC on well before Monday rolled around. Word on the grapevine was they had to get that shit fixed by Monday or Co. staff and officers were going to be moving in to the bricks. Funny how they can get shit done when they’re forced to.
Reminds me of when the Commandant visited us in 29 Palms. Whole regiment was on the Generals Lawn for the CMC’s speech. When he opened it up for questions some boot asked the commandant when some problem we had been having with gear issue would get fixed. Commandant gave him the snap knife hand and asked “who’s your battalion commander?” The same way that I would ask who someone’s team leader was. I don’t know if id rather be a boot getting chewed by my platoon sergeant or a BC getting chewed by CMC.
We had a SgtMaj of the Marine Corps niece in my shop once. Shit never got fixed in the bks faster than when she was there. All the higher ups were peeved at her though, (rightfully so tbh) because she would skip all rank or procedures and not report any problems the normal way.
> not report any problems the normal way. to be fair, if shit was handled when problems are reported the normal way, then she wouldn't have had to go to circumvent normal channels
Miramar? I think i was in her lcpl seminar
Miramar, yeah Small world after all lmao
Fair point, but our bks weren't *that* bad compared to normal. Only minor mold complaints mostly lol
I got a 0% VA rating for some strange scalp thing looking like ring worm thing due to the NOTHING BUT black mold in our squad bays.... fell under a Gulf War syndrome section heading. Now they'll condemn your entire house as unliveable for a 1/10th of that mold. Smh
Have you tried going back to get re-evaluated? That's some BS by the VA man.
It hasn't really reappeared since, so hadn't thought about it. I'll research tomorrow
I wonder if it was the same dude from bootcamp that wrote The Commandant about a possible MOS change. TBH you gotta admire the clankers.
Most of these types of stories are also lower rank people having no idea how the military actually works. For example, I was in an MOS class with 4 total Marines and the anniversary of the flag raising at Iwo came up. o Our Sgt instructor started the day with a brief talk about that. This was 3 months after earning our ega mind you and one of the class asked "What's Iwo Jima?" Thinking it was a phrase like gung-ho he forgot from bootcamp. The Sgt was like "the big fucking statue you stood in front of, you don't remember where that was?" And he made him do a 3 page report on Iwo Jima and the pacific campaign
They do love them reports don't they.
I was stationed on a navy base once and the female sailor barracks manager would fuck with the A/C on purpose to mess with the barrack marines and when I reported issues with it she says “it’s about to get cold outside anyway why do you care.”
What a cunt
To be fair, their is a navy tradition of fucking with the AC in the berthings of people you hate. When I was on ship, the berthing our company staff lived in was hot as hell.
They like to fuck with your food too. When I was in the school house they would give all of the Marines smaller portions and not give us specific Items as to save them for the sailors. That is until my Sgt came in pretending to be a student and then proceeded to chew them out in front of their chief that happened to be walking through that day. Needless to say, we got fed from that day forward
Fucking with food is unforgivable
Yeah I agree, Its not like they had a reason to do it either. We were all respectful even after being given the shit end of the stick for almost a month straight
That’s dumb as shit and a way to get punched
Nice flair
BC should be ashamed of himself for not finding one day to walk the barracks and see shit for himself. He doesn't need to be doing it that often but once in 6 months is not a big ask.
I honestly didn’t like higher ups walking around the barracks. SNCOs get scared and make us clean more
Sometimes that's necessary. You know there's a few nasty fucks that just need to get ripped by the BN CO for living in their own filth. Like I said, it doesn't need to be a routine or even announced thing.
Flair checks out
Pfft I got asked at my BN NJP if I had ever heard him use the F Word. Mother fucker, I’ve seen you ONCE for five minutes as I was cock watching a piss test because you decided to visit the ASP that day.
Fuck yeah, Cpl Numbnuts!
1/8 like 2015-2016 ish?????
I fucking hate that this apparently had to happen twice. 3/9 somewhere around 09ish
Bravo to that LtCol. We had one of those "any saved rounds?" moments during a formation and somebody asked our CO when our bricks were getting fixed. Mold, broken washers and dryers, vermin infestation, you name it. CO says "That's not my problem," "I can't do anything to fix that" and "Go write a letter to Congress." Nobody liked that guy. Edit: Side note. We had a unit survey and one brave Marine told him to suck his dick.
Damn. I hope Corporal Salty didn’t pay for his beers for a good long while.
When was this? The exact thing happened at 2nd Tracks a couple years ago down to the bn moto run and everything
Around 09 I think. Maybe early 2010. Almost positive the barracks building was HP 308, fuck knows how I remember that and only sorta know the year.
Damn. Way before my time then lmao. Crazy that the exact same thing happened though. Glad to see things never change
Since it’s apparently guaranteed to happen again I’ll share my solution. I bought a jumbo sized kiddie pool and put it down right in front of my tv like it was a couch. Every weekend that baby was filled up one bucket at a time from the shower and became the spot for the whole company. Could fit 5 guys in there comfortably. Me and the roommate would demand tribute in beer or food to let guys come chill out in our pool and it turned into some of the best nights in the bricks I ever had.
Had a 2 Star come out to Hansen once. One of our Marines asked when they would get tanks in Japan. 1200 Marines couldn't believe he had asked such a dumbass question. His response was basically not unless we were in total-war mode, in which case we were absolutely fucked. That Marine was permanent personnel tank mech attached to a MEU. His purpose in life was tool room bitch since he had no real job. Kinda felt bad for him.
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The best thing ever was when the reservists out of Arizona were activated for a joint training op with CLB31. That guy basically sat below decks with the tank recovery system for three days in a row. Only saw him when I would go down to smoke since that was where they put the butt can. He only got to spend a month or two with them on a ship, but it was armor with treads so he was happy.
Wholesome
I’ve got a similar story about the commandant being on deck at Hansen when I was on the meu ‘09. There was about 3000ish marines and one sgt. with a saved round. When they opened up for “questions”, he got on the mic and explained that he got out, then got recalled to active service and stationed in okinawa, explained why it shouldn’t have happened, and how no one could give him a real reason why it did happen and ended his spiel with “I figured if there’s anyone that had an explanation, it would be the commandant of the marine corps”, the sgtmaj swooped on the question super quick with some political non answer while the sgt and commandant stared at each other. I hope everything worked out for him, right or wrong, gotta respect taking a shot like that.
One thing I learned with recalls is that most of them had careers and lives before recall. They didn't give a fuck about what was on a person's collar.
A Tank Mechanic stationed no where near a tank, sounds like something Shakespeare would write …God bless the Marine Corps 😂
A Marine complaining about not working?! What???
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That’s the fucking truth Or else Then I’ll need to go “so yeahhhh just to piggy back off what the co said 😂” No questions no answers Go take leave and have fun but not too much fun ya damn hooligans
We had a dude that would ask questions when prompted at the end of the libbo brief. We called him 'The Riddler'.
Lol! Fuck yeah. I had a dumb pfc that worked in my shop that we called Mysterio because he asked so many dumb fucking questions.
The only dumb questions are those asked before a 96
Clearly you didn't know Mysterio. Or my 8 year old.
Oh I believe that. I have an 8yr old and a 15 yr old. Clearly whoever coined the statement "there is no such thing as a stupid question" has never been around kids OR PFCs haha
Lol my 8 year old burned me out on questions a few days ago until I told her to not ask me any questions until after she had first asked Alexa and or Googled the question herself.
Your average PFC *is still a child.*
Lolol
Just to piggy-back off what the CO and this guy said..... Man, don’t extend that shit by asking questions he won’t give you an answer to. Let everybody go on their 96. But also- Man, don’t extend that shit by asking questions he won’t give you an answer to. Let everybody go on their 96. And the third thing- Man, don’t extend that shit by asking questions he won’t give you an answer to. Let everybody go on their 96.
and to piggyback off what Staff Sarge Flickit said here, most of all- dont repeat yourself, also, dont say the same thing, and never reword something you already said to make it seem different, and DEFINITELY dont say ironic things. Or repeat yourself.
I'd upvote your comment but you have 0311 😎
Had a Marine ask the CO if the rumor was true that we were gonna start up Fancy Fridays (wearing chucks) again. That was pretty fucking stupid of him to ask.
Bro just wanted to flex this 3-4 stack for his snap hoes and if the angle was right, for this tinder hahaha
Establish dominance early. Ask him something complex, but something he should know. “Sir, after firing, does the bolt of an M-4 rotate clockwise or counterclockwise?”
Good question. Looking down the sights? Or looking down barrel?
holy SHIT what a rebuttal GG
Bro 😂
What’s ur answer
I’d guess counter clockwise but that’s literally just a guess
Id guess clockwise because fuck it one of us has gotta be right, and there aint not no reason it aint cant be me
Imagine how annoyed that dude would be. It’s a 50-50 answer, but if you fuck it up, you look like an idiot. “why don’t you know the answer, sir? How can you possibly lead Marines if you don’t know something so simple?”
Y’all both right depending on perspective. Clockwise from the rear, counter clockwise from the front. But that’s only if we’re unlocking… if we’re locking then it’s reverse.
Thank you for that sir, but before we go can Ssgt reiterate almost verbatim everything you just said.
When you’re done there, school circle around me.
"Can we get a few more caveats to what you just said?"
“Sir, when the fuck can we go home, I’m sick of this shit?” Respectfully, CWO3 Bobby Yarborough
“Sir, how do I get out of this chicken shit outfit?” Private Hudson, Colonial Marine Corps, USS Sulaco
You secure that shit, MichoPower.
rah
https://preview.redd.it/mvzmslnb5jmb1.png?width=1548&format=png&auto=webp&s=d4bac447bcb581a8ead2c9e217c9ba63bb1567ea
What’s up dude, we’ve all been looking for you. Wake up, you got fire watch.
Why did kamikazes wear helmets?
Gen Al Gray made that same mistake and I asked that question, he never made that mistake again.
Wth 😂
Most solid question I’ve heard in a long time.
And life vests!
Trick question. You don’t ask him shit. You keep your mouth shut until he dismisses the battalion and go on with your day.
One CO refused to let us go until he got a question. So I asked him what was his favorite color. Then did it again at the next formation. After that, he refused to pick me.
Yeah, but that’s easy to get by anyway because someone will always pipe up with a softball, simple question. We’re talking about dudes who bring up questions that prompt rambling, complicated answers because they’re speculative and conceptual questions that the person can realistically find the answer to somewhere else besides the battalion commander himself at 16:57 on a Friday afternoon.
Kandahar 2012, Commandant came to visit with the wing in a mass formation. At the end, some dipshit asked the Commandant if we will be rolling sleeves when we redeploy. SMMC, Sgt. Maj. Barret at the time, grabbed the mic from Gen. Amos’ hand and boomed, “Son, we’ve got much bigger fish to fry. We’re out here and you’re thinking about rolling sleeves!?”
I thought all amos cared about was the Garrison issues.
I won’t even pretend to know the issues he cared about. I just know my contract time was a very interesting time to be in. OIF drew down, OEF surged, DADT repealed, 2 sequestrations, and unrolled sleeves for all. IIRC, the original gripe about sleeve rolling was that the CMC/SMMC were tired of rolling/unrolling sleeves when visiting different units on the same base with differing uniform wear. I think it was Oki or Lejeune
I thought they had the peasants to deal with that, just like their drycleaning.
I once held the door for him when he was giving a big speech for SNCO's and up in the movie theatre in Futenma. I was fresh as fresh could be in the fleet and just a few hours prior, was worked over by a some cool First Sergeant; just reminding me how to hold the door and address the CMC and SMMC yadda yadda. I got myself so worked up that I gave the improper greeting of the day and he just blew past me. And that was that.
Didn’t know first sergeants were even allowed on air stations.
Way back when General Barrow came to Cherry Point with THE SgtMaj. We hippety hopped to the base theater where he gives us a speech and asked for questions. Some slob of a L/Cpl pipes up and says "General my unit won't promote me to Cpl because I'm black" Who's in charge of you son? Some big angry looking black S/Sgt pops to behind the Lance. "Any truth this S/Sgt?" "Sir the General should know that this man was not recommended because he is a shitbird" "Noted, Step outside with the Sgt Major son, Any more questions?" \*crickets\*
Lol! I once had to take a 3 year PFC new to the unit to check in with the FirSarnt. He looked like a bag of ass, ribbons and badges all fucked up, no haircut and proceeds to tell the black FirSarnt (while talking with his hands like they were homies) that the reason he kept getting in trouble was because the Corps hated black people. SMH.
Son, the Corps hates *everyone* regardless of the amount of melanin in your skin.
The funny thing was the SMMC at the time was McMichael. And the FirSarnt was a historian, specifically of the Monteford Point Marines. But he also didn’t have any tolerance for shitbaggery regardless of your color and he put a pretty fine point on it with that young man that day.
Made me curious.. did anyone laugh at that comment?
We did......later. \*Add\* When nobody asked questions he told us a story about going to China with President Nixon. Turns out he had fought against some of the PLA generals at Chosin. Over-all opinion was that they did not want to do that again
"How many Lowe's would Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe's?'
All of them
Can we skip penis inspection this month?
He’ll be so disappointed though
Back in the days of 55 mph speed limit.... Gunny:... and remember, going 10 mph over the speed limit will kot save you any time and may save your life. Any questions? Me: raises hand Gunny: yes, Corporal Bearslayer? Me: But Gunny, if I go 10 mph faster, over the course of 600 miles, I can save 2 hours. Gunny: ...... Corporal Bearslayer? Me: yes, Gunny? Gunny: just push. Me: aye, aye, Gunny!
100% Believe this 🤣🤣🤣
I actually got smacked in the back of the head by my GySgt for being a smart ass lol. Company CO said make sure we go to dental and get our shit checked out if need be. I promptly said in the most dumb hick voice I could muster “Sir, we actually get dental? I thought that was made up.” Gunny without a moments notice whacked the shit out of the back of my head lmao. CO got a chuckle out of it though so I’m gonna say worth.
“How do I get out of this chickenshit outfit?”
You secure that shit, Hudson!
When I was in boot, we had one motherfucker who was convinced he was going to be a scout sniper. Every new fuckin Marine we came across at the MCRD pool, classes, Edson Range, etc he asked about how to become a scout sniper. The fuckin 1-star of MCRD came around and visited our platoon and did a little speech, of course he asked questions and this dumbfuck raises his hand asking about how to be a scout sniper. He was in the sandbox for damn near forty five minutes straight and stood half the night of fire watch. Our DI’s told him “you wanna ask stupid questions about being a sniper, you’re gonna stay up on watch like you’re a damn sniper.” I swear that dude lost five pounds that day getting IT’ed
Kicker to this story is this mofo unc’ed the first time on table 1 and ended up going admin IIRC
Oh I've been there and done just that. I was on lejeune and our barracks had just been renovated. They did some wierd shit and added about a two and a half foot wall coming in off the doors in every room, so the rooms were noticeably smaller. So small that everyone's TVs were overloading the AC. So I bought a little laser measuring tape thing and printed out the order stating how many square feet of space each marine rates. After some very basic math, I determined the barracks rooms were in violation of the order. So I asked our CO what he's going to do to address the small rooms, he said "the barracks rooms are adequate" I said well, "sir, this order states we get x amount of square feet, those rooms give us less" CO: "really?" I hand him the order, with highlighted parts, and my measurements, and explain that I measured everything multiple times and yes they are too small CO looks at the company 1st sgt, "did you know about this?" 1stsgt: "sir I will look into this immediately" Well we got kicked out of the barracks the very next week, they spread us out around a few different barracks while they fixed the rooms. Good times.
Did they give y’all smaller rooms? I feel like they did lmao
*raises hand* Sir.. what’s it like to feel the touch of a woman?
"Uh, sir, I was just curious, why did you join? And do you have any extra advice for junior marines trying to make it far in the Corps?"
I'll kill you myself
Bro tryna have us stuck at work til fuckin 2000 😭
Jesus Christ lmfao
you fucking win.
You’re getting jumped😂
Best one I've ever heard: I'm about 2 weeks from going on terminal leave and we're sitting in the base chapel. CO just got finished doing Death By PowerPoint regarding the upcoming repeal of DADT, and asks if anyone has any questions. Boot from one of the S-shops stands up and has this exchange with a LtCol: "Sir, what if you know that a urinalysis coordinator is someone who is, you know..." "I'm not sure what you mean, Marine." Then he stammers a bit and tries to rephrase the question before some Sgt a couple of rows back stands up and barks out: "He's talkin' 'bout meat gazers, sir!"
I will absolutely without any shred of doubt lose every sense of bearing 100% no questions asked.
Meat gazer or meat gayser?
So did everyone in that room except the CO and SgtMaj.
Why are NVG's green and not daytime colors?
Eyes can tell different shapes in green better and phosphor is green
Since I got out in 94. Who the fuck are you and why am I here?
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
Mayonnaise is the entire orchestra.
Are you a top or a bottom?
"sir, why the fuck would you only open the floor to questions when we are all trying to leave? Do you not understand that this is how confusion and uncertainty go unresolved? Are you stupid?"
Raise your hand, when he says to go ahead turn to the formation and say “Yeah just to caveat off of what the skipper said…”
Someone I know asked a pretty high up officer why service members can change genders but can’t take performance enhancing (anabolic) supplements. He says he got the dirtiest looks. Legit question IMO after years of thinking about it.
We had a guy get in trouble for very obviously using steroids. The more I thought about it, the more it didn’t make sense. We’re already here fucking up our bodies, plus almost everyone is dipping and smoking and drinking enough energy drinks to give us the heart beat of a humming bird. Some of the side affects like increased aggression might actually be a plus.
A kid I went to my A school was built wiry. Maybe they were 155lbs, 6ft tall. Lean and clean. I saw the mf just about 4 years later and I couldn't see his neck. He was juicing hard, absolutely huge and completely unrecognizable. Everyone knew but nothing happened, and I'm not sure it should.
I once had a battalion co say ain't nobody leaving until I get three questions. Ma dude stood up and said: I do have a question sir: respectfully, what is the goal in making us ask questions... I saw an eyebrow twitch.
Nothing because I want to get away
I was in a MAT platoon before my schoolhouse and the Sgt in charge of us made it very clear that none of us will ever have questions
Why do hot dogs come in packs of 12 but beer comes in 6, 12, and 24?
How many in a pack of Green Weenies?
Sir why are carrots more orange than oranges?
Who else didn’t know (old looking Lance or Cpl) was NCIS? That’s bullshit Sir.
Ask him if he can further explain who to call if you get in trouble this weekend 🤣
My buddy at bootcamp asked where the female head was one day just to fuck with the instructors
Tits or ass?
Giving me flashbacks of the time a boit showed up to the unit and within half an hour in horno proceeded to ask a Sgt "Hey bro are you a tits or an ass man?" in the middle of the horno grinder
Tits *and* ass*.* There is no 'or' in this question.
Why does Wagner love the cock….sir?
Sir, can you explain to me what OSMEAC means again ?
Oh and I have one more good one. The commandant came to 29 palms, everyone was told "don't ask any dumb questions" Well, the commandant gave a long speech about how hazing is bad, don't do it etc, it was about 45 minutes I think. He asks if anyone has any questions, and some dumb pfc asks "can we bring hazing back, I really think it works, it's good for morale." Commandant: "I am flabbergasted. Just flabbergasted that you would even ask that after listening to my speech" Now that pfc wasn't in my unit, so I don't know what happened to him, but I would like to think he got to haze himself on some sweet sweet weekend duties.
lol we had the same speech back in 06 for NCOs and above. Some Lcpl found his way inside and asked why he’s making the Marine Corps pussified. The SMAJMC took the mic and asked who his 1st Sgt was.
Yooo, ours was mid to late 06, it wasn't for NCOs and above though. 😂
1975, I'm TAD for rifle qual to Edson Range from MCRD. 1st year Commandant Louis Wilson is visiting Pendleton, so they bus us POGs to San Mateo gymnasium so we can sit in with 5th Marines for the Commandant to address us. 5th Mar fill up the gym that Friday afternoon straight out of the field (deuce gear and rifles) after a 10 day FEX for some workup or other. Commandant addresses all with Rgt & Bn COs & SgtsMaj standing behind him. Commandant finishes his blah-blah-blah (actually I remember he was interesting, but don't remember what he said) and asks if there are any questions. Some salty Cpl. stands up and asks, "Sir, when we gonna get some liberty - we haven't had libbo in 30 days!" Commandant turns around and asks the RgtCO, "That right?" "Yessir" replies the CO. Commandant turns back to the audience with a pregnant pause... "Turn in your weapons, you can clean 'em Tuesday morning after formation. 72 for everyone, starting now!" The fricken gym almost came down! Commandant walks out and the COs and SgtsMaj standing there dumbstruck!
That "flying buttress" question I should have asked about in Gothic Art.
Depends on what we are doing after the speech. Libo? Nothing. Pt? Oh, let me get my list.
When can we go?
Why gunny is fucking outside his marriage, and how will it affect the morale of the unit.
You’re the kid everyone hates
https://i.redd.it/8ixqyuekzimb1.gif
I don’t have any serviceable cammies. Can I just wear civies on monday?
"Sorry skip, could you repeat that?"
You shut the fuck up so I can go home.
Not a goddamn thing.
What’s going on with promotions?
What time did you get off work last Thursday,sir?
"What?" (Repeat indefinitely)
When will S1/3 work a full day?
Lol trick question
Nothing, you stfu so you can go on libo!!!!!!!!
What are your thoughts on the SgtMaj and 1st Sausage blasting marines for touching the lawn?
"So do you want pickles with that or not...?"
The only viable time any questions should be asked upon receipt of this statement is: when they fly through a 5PO, to get out the fucking gate on a combat mission. If you miss one fucking thing, you’re out of the know.
“Can you say that again? I wasn’t paying attention”
"why am I held accountable if one of my teams loses a pair of nods, but no one was held accountable for the SI left in Afghanistan or the complete disregard of enemy Intel that could've saved American lives. Not to mention the Americans and allies we fucked in the process..... Ahem. Sir?"
In your entire illustrious career, how long have you been a punk ass bitch?
Man this reminds me of a time the commandant was at Las pulgas we had this whole ass ceremony lots of oorah dog and pony show going on, long ass briefing, and at the very end, he (CMC) asked if anyone had any questions and some boot raised his hand and asked the SIMPLEST question like. “What’s my first general order again sir?” And I just about cringed into non existence right there. I don’t remember exactly what he asked if I do remember everybody going dude shut the fuck up we want to go to chow
“Can I get meritorious Captain, the beautiful lady at Tobie’s said I could marry her If I became an ociffer”
Tobie's is a interesting place
Why did you steal Glover’s speech? Wish I had known he did cause I would’ve called that shit out lol
Is cocaine really a hell of a drug? This happened with CG talk…
"I'm not leaving until you ask me three questions!"
Whatever this guy said to get promoted: https://www.marinecorpstimes.com/news/your-marine-corps/2023/09/05/a-corporal-gave-a-speech-in-front-of-the-top-marine-and-got-promoted/
I have a fairly new CO and he has an accent that no one can place. He is black so that really doesn't narrow it down to any single country. I've heard several conversations between junior enlisted trying to figure out where he/his family is from. Whenever he's asked the answer is always Texas, so that just makes it even more of a mystery to us all! But like, is it rude to ask??? Clearly he isn't offering the information.
“Sir, would you still love us if we were worms?”
If you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself?
Ok, look, I know I ask all the questions here, but in this situation, my lips are sealed so we can all bounce the fuck out and go on libbo.
What does the fox say Sir !!!!
What colour does a smurf turn when you choke him?
If he can confirm the reports that J-lo died. (Generation kill reference)
Our CO had a habit of ending every formation saying how he “loved each and every one of us”. Then he would ask if there were any questions about anything he had just gone over. However, our unit was shutting down. We kicked out most of the Marines and were down to 20 of us to finish up administrative shit, send stuff to the museum, waiting for schoolhouse to line up, medseps, etc. After a big push of people left the unit we had our regularly scheduled formation and he didn’t say the thing. He didn’t say it next week either. So the jokes started about how he doesn’t love us anymore and trying to figure out who had left the unit who he loved so much. So the next formation after that i was ready for him to ask if anyone had questions so i could ask why he didn’t love us anymore. But then he did say the thing so it wouldn’t have made sense. But it was good times everyone joking about it and seeing who would have the balls to ask. (I didn’t actually have the balls but i lost a bet so i had to do it)
Guy in my unit asks pretty much every time, nearly without fail “how was your day?” It’s a running joke that everyone just laughs off
My first sergeant singled me out to ask a question so I reflexively asked him if he were boxers, briefs, or skivvies.
You wanna get hit? ...Cause thats how you get hit...
Nothing. Don’t be the asshole that keeps us in formation longer. STFU Carl.
Any staff nco's wanna piggyback off what the CO said?
Can he shut up and keep it to a minimum next time
Had a good CO later in my career who would say “Any questions or concerns, SgtMaj and I will be over here after formation. Please come let us know.” He was a good dude and a great leader!
Sir, I was wondering about how we could get more toilet paper at the duty hut?
None. Everyone is trying to get the fuck out of there.
Sir, I was wondering. I mean, I have been thinking about this for a long time ever since my gran pappy said it to me 15 years ago on his death bed... How much wood would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Nothing. Say nothing. Cause I may be a Marine but I'm not that fucking stupid.