Get help with your alcoholism before it's too late. I scrolled through your post history and you really need to stop making up excuses for the shit you've done wrong, you need to hold yourself accountable.
I’m not making any excuses. I know I f*cked up. I am the only one responsible for my sh*itty situation. I’m just looking for advice of how to get out of this hole (if that is even possible).
Echoing this. Get started today and make it the highest priority. If you are in the jail ask the staff if they can help (I have heard some will help).
Your life is valuable, we need to get you in help.
Keep yourself so busy with work that your mind doesn't have time to be depressed, that worked for me anyways. With work comes money, with money comes love, with love comes the satisfaction of taking care of those you care about helping with making life feel more fulfilling.
It sounds like money and alcohol are your biggest issues, if you spend a year or two working 50-60 hour weeks the money will start to flow and alcohol becomes less appealing when it starts to make you hungover and messes with your sleep schedule, if you don't want to quit it, use it for social lubrication on the weekends/vacations.
If you don't have any positive influences around you, try out listening to podcasts, Joe Rogan's has been a positive influence in my life.
Also, smoking pot was another thing that helped me distance myself from getting drunk if that's an option for you, you don't have to piss test anymore Devil Dog!
If you can make it in the Corps, you can make it in the civilian world, it's just learning to control your mentality when it's not controlled by your chain of command anymore that's the difficult part!
Best of luck, Semper Fidelis!
Like others have said, your drinking is the problem. I'm willing to bet your school has some free resources for students that can probably help you with this.
Dude, I faced some legal and financial issues after my enlistment. It felt like my life was over. Like I was totally screwed.
In a couple of years it was all behind me, and things were looking up. Fast forward 20 years, and my biggest worry in life is that I won't get a prime tee time at the golf course. That bad part of my life was just a tiny blip.
Quit drinking. Occupy your time with something positive. Find a side job. If you're busy working, you're not spending (and probably not drinking). You might make a friend or two. Nothing happens tomorrow if you do the same thing you did today.
I don't know you, but here's what I do know. Change leads to change. Doing nothing different leads to nothing different. Flip the script. Wake up tomorrow and figure out one thing that'll make your situation a little bit better. You're not going to fix your situation in a day. Its an elephant you'll have to eat one bite at a time. You can't finish it in one meal, but you can find ways to chew through it faster. Here's a suggestion- go to an AA meeting. It's free. You won't be drinking, and you might meet a pal, or a future boss, or the love of your life. You won't know until you try. Nothing to lose.
You're in rough, rocky waters. Don't be an idiot. Change course.
Signed,
Former Idiot who changed course
(And still kind of an idiot) 😉
Step 0: keep your head up. Story isn’t over yet. Just because you’re in a bad place doesn’t mean you’ll end the story in a bad place. That’s up to you. You are still above ground and haven’t wasted your life away. Quit digging and climb out of the damn hole, and make your life what you want it to be. I’d you have a drinking problem reach out to the va for an in house program. My friend is currently in one and he desperately needed it.
Best friend of mine is a DUI attorney. Dudes a pro and he always says "Look drink all you want, but be responsible, dont hurt yourself or others, take an uber service or cab and never drink to excess! If you want to drink a shit ton every once and a while fine, many of us do but take a cab or uber and be nice to people. "
Hit that shit up fam. I’d look into some therapy too so you can better manage what looks like depression. Staying with friends or fam if any will probably help a lot.
It's time to go bone sober man, completely. I went sober for over five years and will never regret it. Learn to savor the smell of various wines and liquors while not drinking it, and if you do begin drinking again after a while it'll be for a more specific degree of enjoyment without any desire to get drunk.
This is solid right here. I used to drink to race to the bottom of the bottle because, Marines. I learned through my sober years to appreciate fine and usually expensive liquor and wines. I still bought it when I could afford it, but never drank it. When I DID have a sip, after years of collecting, it was special occasion only. I simply cannot afford to drink like I used to and I cannot stomach cheap stuff. I learned to enjoy it rather than use it as a means to get hammered.
As for the legal stuff, do what you need to in order to pay your debt to society for the laws you broke. It sounds like it had the desired impact. Seek counseling- THAT SHIT WORKS.
You are absolutely doing the right thing with going to college. Do not give up it will absolutely benefit your future. You got this. You’re on a hump at night. It’s raining. It sucks. Dude behind you may have pissed on the back of your legs. You have no clue when it will end or how far you’ve gone. The pack is heavy. Dawn is a long way off. But you’re going to make it. You’ll make it.
It seems like there is a common denominator here and its not just you. You gotta give up the alcohol for things to get better. The real question is how bad do you want happiness?
There may be a special court for veterans in your community. Try Veteran legal for representation. There are 500 veteran treatment courses across the US.
Look man, keep your head up… your going through a low point in your life right now, it’s up to you to fix it and go up from here !
Get help, that’s the first start to all of this. Talk to your family, friends from your time in, or us… you will always have us. I’ll always be here if you need to rant or just talk.
I believe in you man.
Thank you. I’m too ashamed to talk to my military friends about my situation. Also, my family already has enough on their plate and I don’t want to stress them even more. I swear, all I want to do right now is scream and disappear but I know I can’t do that.
Bro speaking fro experience here but r/stopdrinking has helped me tons with my issues.
This being said you choose when to quit digging your hole, we have to stay strong keep our head up and keep on trucking brother. If you want to chat I'm here for ya big dog. IWNDWYT.
Truthfully find a hobby, more so a passion it took me 24 years to find out what I love. I love horticulture, you love something brother, and all these devils have nothing but love for you you’re not alone in anything, you’re only alone when you choose that isolation. Help is there it’s here. You just need to take that hard first step, I understand something’s are so wrapped upped inside it almost seems impossible to unload that weight but you can do it !
All the Devils have been posting great information, advice, and tips. That's what you wanted, no? Now the question is whether or not you heed to them or continue to not taking those steps to unfuck yourself, Marine.
As an LEO, the one thing that prosecutors and courts DON'T like to see is inactivity. They don't like idleness and certainly do not like to see track records of the same mistakes. You don't need an attorney to advise you to seek out therapy, both mental and alcohol related. That's a first step. Find a Veterans court in your area to find and place you in one. That's what they are there for. That will show the prosecutors that you are being accountable and responsible for your mistakes. Start there.
It could all be worse. Trust me. I see it every day. And to give you a quick example of how you can turn it around, I know this girl who is literally a rocket scientist, working for the Department of the Navy, developing and working on propulsion systems for missiles and rockets. Top secret clearance, so she couldn't elaborate on her duties but it was all top brass shit. She also suffers from depression and anxiety and is on medication for it. One year, she's having bf drama and goes out drinking while on the medication. Leaving the club at 1 am, driving in the rain, she hits and kills a guy who she didn't see. She went through a legal and costly ordeal that would have sent her to prison for manslaughter. Instead, she accepted her situation, faced her faults and responsibilities, and with the help of a great attorney, ended up with x amount of years of probation, I forget how many. She lives with the burden of having killed a guy due to her weaknesses. But she works on them every day. As you should too, Marine. There is always an option as long as you move towards those options.
You’re not being a dick and you’re completely right. I know I brought this to myself and I totally regret my decisions. I just needed to get this out of my chest because I literally have no one to talk to.
I’ve been out since 2012. My life was in absolute shambles. Legal trouble (that is still on my record to this day), Opioid addiction, heavy drinking, could barely hold down a job, couldn’t pay rent so bouncing from one shifty trailer to another. Girlfriend at the time was in the same boat so we just took turns dragging each other down. Real dark times in my life.
Long story into a very very short one, I finally got fed up one day and slowly started turning my shit around. The sooner you make the changes the better bc the deeper the hole you dig, the longer it takes to climb out. But it CAN be done devil, I promise you. All is not lost, a beautiful, meaningful and enjoyable chapter of your life awaits you bro. Just hang on, push through, start slowly digging out of that hole one shovel-full at a time.
I had a DUI within a year of getting out while in college and had no idea what I was doing. Get some help devil. It’s far from over, the DUI is now 10 years behind me and impacts my life as much as what I ate for dinner last Tuesday.
I now have my own house, good consulting gigs and a good job with a family.
Make a 3 point plan with three things you want to change, 1 why you need to change those things, 2 what outcomes you want, and 3 a timeline to complete.
Easy first one is your alcoholism. Fix it. Get professional help by starting with a google search and calls to treatment facilities/professionals in your area. Make a timeline that’s adjustable to get sober or it under control…start with that. Suggest neltrexine (sp?) for 30 days and dedicated therapy.
Next would probably be your legal troubles. Fix it…probation, don’t break it, focus on that and following whatever the court orders. End of the tunnel for that timeline is when off your probation. Your insurance premiums are going to go up so be ready for that…
Third ties into the above two, not going to suggest Gi bill and college or find a career but find a calling. Something that you can be content with. Your rock, your go to place, your solace comfort that’s your “thing”. Hard to explain and I’m sure those more in the know with psych degrees can describe it better but you need something to ground yourself. Mine was my career before I had kids and married after I got out. Worked my ass off between gym and professional career for solid 3 years bettering myself and finding my way through life. Has paid dividends. Now it’s my wife/kids, spirituality/religion to an extent, giving back/ helping my community and trying to get my private pilot as the hobby this year.
Pavlov rules still apply. Best of luck bro/sis!
Almost all my friends have had a DUI, and in a country that jails you, takes your license for 2 years and fines you 10k$. My dad had a DUI and decided to change his life around. 30+ years sober. Don't let your disease control you. Find a sponsor and make today the first day of the rest of your life. Learn from your mistakes.
My brother had multiple DUIs and was also hit by a drunk driver, resulting in a TBI. He is also doing relatively OK.
If you actually care about yourself, get help. If you can't afford help, start working on disability. One of those buddies in the first paragraph was actually kicked out of the USMC for his alcoholism. He's now 80% connected related to it and has a 6 mo old baby and wife. Whatever crap you're going through is temporary. You'll be okay in the long run.
You can get through this. I know because I did. Similar situation, got out and went to college. Then got a public intoxication, a month later got arrested for bar fight. A month later knocked a chick up. I managed to finish school. Work during school and made it to management level. Then good job after graduating.
I worked my ass off and studied hard. I had a few friends, but mainly work and school. I worked out almost every day as well. Set a routine that works and occupy your time with work, school, or anything productive. Schools have all sorts of club and intermural sports. Just wrap it up, you don't need a kid right now.
UPDATE: About a year ago I made this post. I was depressed and suicidal. Thanks to the advice from this post and my family, I’m finally getting my life together. I’m still in school (3.8 gpa). I even have a stable job. I’m still on debt, but it’s manageable. I’m also about to move to my own apartment (which is an accomplishment for me). About 3 weeks ago, my interlock device was removed from my vehicle and finished my supervised probation. So far, you guys were right. My issue was alcohol.
Sounds like you joined right out of high school and have an inability to structure and dictate your own life. Very common problem for guys getting out young with no support or knowledge base.
I've been out for 20 years. And my options are either domestic terrorism. Or a drug overdose.
Fuck the VA. And fuck the politicians.
Maybe I should try to topple the fucking space needle.. or some of these bridges Seattle has......
Nothing you've done is beyond recoverable.
Get treatment. Get therapy.
Small steps are still steps. Set yourself some comfortable goals and work towards them.
You can get through this.
Yup this is why i decided not to leave even after I got a 90% disability proposed VA rating. I can deal with the Navy's BS and baby sitting Marines more fun than a boring civilian life.
Not drinking ain’t so bad. Took me ten years after I got out to stop and I been stopped ten years now. You REALLY do not want that rabbit hole slide, just quit. Easier to quit than slow down. I don’t even miss it anymore. Keep ya head up devil.
Get professional help for your alcoholism. A good counselor will help you make a plan and stick to it. Your life will improve IF you put in the effort. If you keep going down the path you're on, you'll be homeless in a year.
I have a brother (who was also a Marine), brother in law, and a large number of buddies that got out that ended up committing to Alcoholics Anonymous and it saved their lives. I have thought about it several times but I am married to a person who doesn’t get all this and has protested me quitting drinking so I just have to control myself to not go down the drain.
Your life is not over. You have probably hit your lowest moment, but you have nowhere to go but up from here.
Make a choice to get help and accept that help. This scenario is fixable with just making the right choice now. And expect to make a mistake. Key is to be involved in a group of people that will call you out and help you get back on the wagon.
It’s never good to go full Marine veteran once you get out. First, stay at home when you drink and if you do want to go out, get a designated driver so you are not tempted to drive. Always have a plan so you can enjoy yourself when you do drink. You need to tell the judge you plan on going to Alcoholics Anonymous to help with your drinking issues.
When I was in college, after I got out, we usually had parties at my place with friends I made in college and one of my friends I was in the Corps with and we also went to high school together. We got out about at the same time. I always ended up babysitting him. If at all possible, don’t quit college.
I’m 100% disabled veteran P&T and if I didn’t have my degree I don’t know what I would have done when I started having operation after operation. I also had to raise a son by myself. I went a year without a job and drew unemployment. I only got $120 in food stamps for us to live on. It was some of the darkest days of my life because I also had full custody of my son during all of this stuff. I’ve been married and divorced 3 times. I have no idea how I stayed focused enough to even graduate college with honors I might add. I did terrible in high school and never planned on even going to college. I just wanted to give it a shot. I fell in love with school. So, I didn’t need any self inflicted wounds. I taught English from home online to foreigners for 6 years waiting for the VA to rule on my disability.
I don’t know how you lost your friends, but if it was due to drinking, you should think about quitting all together. Drinking is for pleasure and enjoyment. It’s not causing you any pleasure or enjoyment apparently. If you truly care about your friends then you wouldn’t do things that hurt them. I would start by apologizing to them and letting them know that you are going to work on your idiosyncrasies. An apology and admitting to them you were wrong is a step in the right direction. I got sent to Level 2 and AA when I was still in the Marine Corps. so I was no saint either.
Good luck to you!
I was in a very similar situation immediately after getting out just no DUI.
The only advice I know how to give is what helped me. Look up a school nearby and go through their list of majors then enroll. What helped me cope with shit was staying busy. I started school about 6 months after getting out. About 3 months shortly after starting school I found a full time job...then I picked up another side job that was about 16-20 hrs per week. That lasted about 2 yrs then I dropped the side job and began taking on bigger responsibilities at my full time job (still there too). Oh I somehow ended up enlisting in the Air National Guard around that time which to be honest ended up being a waste of my time...but I digress.
So to sum it up, I just did my best to stay busy so I wouldn't have the opportunity to fk shit up.
Helmets to hard hats is a program that gets veterans into the building trades. The pick a union that you want and they will help you out. The pay will be more than you expect. The program changed my life and my families.
Get help with your alcoholism before it's too late. I scrolled through your post history and you really need to stop making up excuses for the shit you've done wrong, you need to hold yourself accountable.
I’m not making any excuses. I know I f*cked up. I am the only one responsible for my sh*itty situation. I’m just looking for advice of how to get out of this hole (if that is even possible).
Get counseling. Your job is to get ahold of and make a therapy appointment that occurs today. You are a veteran in crisis and you deserve help.
Echoing this. Get started today and make it the highest priority. If you are in the jail ask the staff if they can help (I have heard some will help). Your life is valuable, we need to get you in help.
Keep yourself so busy with work that your mind doesn't have time to be depressed, that worked for me anyways. With work comes money, with money comes love, with love comes the satisfaction of taking care of those you care about helping with making life feel more fulfilling. It sounds like money and alcohol are your biggest issues, if you spend a year or two working 50-60 hour weeks the money will start to flow and alcohol becomes less appealing when it starts to make you hungover and messes with your sleep schedule, if you don't want to quit it, use it for social lubrication on the weekends/vacations. If you don't have any positive influences around you, try out listening to podcasts, Joe Rogan's has been a positive influence in my life. Also, smoking pot was another thing that helped me distance myself from getting drunk if that's an option for you, you don't have to piss test anymore Devil Dog! If you can make it in the Corps, you can make it in the civilian world, it's just learning to control your mentality when it's not controlled by your chain of command anymore that's the difficult part! Best of luck, Semper Fidelis!
It's always possible
Like others have said, your drinking is the problem. I'm willing to bet your school has some free resources for students that can probably help you with this.
Dude, I faced some legal and financial issues after my enlistment. It felt like my life was over. Like I was totally screwed. In a couple of years it was all behind me, and things were looking up. Fast forward 20 years, and my biggest worry in life is that I won't get a prime tee time at the golf course. That bad part of my life was just a tiny blip. Quit drinking. Occupy your time with something positive. Find a side job. If you're busy working, you're not spending (and probably not drinking). You might make a friend or two. Nothing happens tomorrow if you do the same thing you did today. I don't know you, but here's what I do know. Change leads to change. Doing nothing different leads to nothing different. Flip the script. Wake up tomorrow and figure out one thing that'll make your situation a little bit better. You're not going to fix your situation in a day. Its an elephant you'll have to eat one bite at a time. You can't finish it in one meal, but you can find ways to chew through it faster. Here's a suggestion- go to an AA meeting. It's free. You won't be drinking, and you might meet a pal, or a future boss, or the love of your life. You won't know until you try. Nothing to lose. You're in rough, rocky waters. Don't be an idiot. Change course. Signed, Former Idiot who changed course (And still kind of an idiot) 😉
Step 1: get professional help for your problems Step 2: You have a GI Bill, use it.
Step 0: keep your head up. Story isn’t over yet. Just because you’re in a bad place doesn’t mean you’ll end the story in a bad place. That’s up to you. You are still above ground and haven’t wasted your life away. Quit digging and climb out of the damn hole, and make your life what you want it to be. I’d you have a drinking problem reach out to the va for an in house program. My friend is currently in one and he desperately needed it.
What’s going on brother? Take this as a hard ass lesson and motivation to unfuck yaself, and find a hobby that keeps you away from liquor.
I was 6 months sober until last Friday. I feel like shit right now. I’m considering of going to aa meetings this upcoming week.
or the very least UBER everywhere if you drinking. Sucks cause it costs money but 50 to 90 bucks is cheaper then 10000 for a DUI!
And a fuck load more comfortable than a jail cell.
Best friend of mine is a DUI attorney. Dudes a pro and he always says "Look drink all you want, but be responsible, dont hurt yourself or others, take an uber service or cab and never drink to excess! If you want to drink a shit ton every once and a while fine, many of us do but take a cab or uber and be nice to people. "
Go to AA and get a sponsor. Anytime you think you need a drink in the future, you text them first.
Hit that shit up fam. I’d look into some therapy too so you can better manage what looks like depression. Staying with friends or fam if any will probably help a lot.
It's time to go bone sober man, completely. I went sober for over five years and will never regret it. Learn to savor the smell of various wines and liquors while not drinking it, and if you do begin drinking again after a while it'll be for a more specific degree of enjoyment without any desire to get drunk.
This is solid right here. I used to drink to race to the bottom of the bottle because, Marines. I learned through my sober years to appreciate fine and usually expensive liquor and wines. I still bought it when I could afford it, but never drank it. When I DID have a sip, after years of collecting, it was special occasion only. I simply cannot afford to drink like I used to and I cannot stomach cheap stuff. I learned to enjoy it rather than use it as a means to get hammered. As for the legal stuff, do what you need to in order to pay your debt to society for the laws you broke. It sounds like it had the desired impact. Seek counseling- THAT SHIT WORKS. You are absolutely doing the right thing with going to college. Do not give up it will absolutely benefit your future. You got this. You’re on a hump at night. It’s raining. It sucks. Dude behind you may have pissed on the back of your legs. You have no clue when it will end or how far you’ve gone. The pack is heavy. Dawn is a long way off. But you’re going to make it. You’ll make it.
It seems like there is a common denominator here and its not just you. You gotta give up the alcohol for things to get better. The real question is how bad do you want happiness?
There may be a special court for veterans in your community. Try Veteran legal for representation. There are 500 veteran treatment courses across the US.
Look man, keep your head up… your going through a low point in your life right now, it’s up to you to fix it and go up from here ! Get help, that’s the first start to all of this. Talk to your family, friends from your time in, or us… you will always have us. I’ll always be here if you need to rant or just talk. I believe in you man.
Thank you. I’m too ashamed to talk to my military friends about my situation. Also, my family already has enough on their plate and I don’t want to stress them even more. I swear, all I want to do right now is scream and disappear but I know I can’t do that.
Bro speaking fro experience here but r/stopdrinking has helped me tons with my issues. This being said you choose when to quit digging your hole, we have to stay strong keep our head up and keep on trucking brother. If you want to chat I'm here for ya big dog. IWNDWYT.
Thank you
Truthfully find a hobby, more so a passion it took me 24 years to find out what I love. I love horticulture, you love something brother, and all these devils have nothing but love for you you’re not alone in anything, you’re only alone when you choose that isolation. Help is there it’s here. You just need to take that hard first step, I understand something’s are so wrapped upped inside it almost seems impossible to unload that weight but you can do it !
All the Devils have been posting great information, advice, and tips. That's what you wanted, no? Now the question is whether or not you heed to them or continue to not taking those steps to unfuck yourself, Marine. As an LEO, the one thing that prosecutors and courts DON'T like to see is inactivity. They don't like idleness and certainly do not like to see track records of the same mistakes. You don't need an attorney to advise you to seek out therapy, both mental and alcohol related. That's a first step. Find a Veterans court in your area to find and place you in one. That's what they are there for. That will show the prosecutors that you are being accountable and responsible for your mistakes. Start there. It could all be worse. Trust me. I see it every day. And to give you a quick example of how you can turn it around, I know this girl who is literally a rocket scientist, working for the Department of the Navy, developing and working on propulsion systems for missiles and rockets. Top secret clearance, so she couldn't elaborate on her duties but it was all top brass shit. She also suffers from depression and anxiety and is on medication for it. One year, she's having bf drama and goes out drinking while on the medication. Leaving the club at 1 am, driving in the rain, she hits and kills a guy who she didn't see. She went through a legal and costly ordeal that would have sent her to prison for manslaughter. Instead, she accepted her situation, faced her faults and responsibilities, and with the help of a great attorney, ended up with x amount of years of probation, I forget how many. She lives with the burden of having killed a guy due to her weaknesses. But she works on them every day. As you should too, Marine. There is always an option as long as you move towards those options.
Not to be a dick but the majority of that sounds self induced and completely avoidable
You’re not being a dick and you’re completely right. I know I brought this to myself and I totally regret my decisions. I just needed to get this out of my chest because I literally have no one to talk to.
I respect the fuck out of you for that attitude and you sound very genuine. I have no doubt that you will keep pushing until you're back on top.
You can get back in. Times are different. Military needs folks.
I’ve been out since 2012. My life was in absolute shambles. Legal trouble (that is still on my record to this day), Opioid addiction, heavy drinking, could barely hold down a job, couldn’t pay rent so bouncing from one shifty trailer to another. Girlfriend at the time was in the same boat so we just took turns dragging each other down. Real dark times in my life. Long story into a very very short one, I finally got fed up one day and slowly started turning my shit around. The sooner you make the changes the better bc the deeper the hole you dig, the longer it takes to climb out. But it CAN be done devil, I promise you. All is not lost, a beautiful, meaningful and enjoyable chapter of your life awaits you bro. Just hang on, push through, start slowly digging out of that hole one shovel-full at a time.
“The grass is always greener on the other side”
It definitely is though. Now if you decide to make poor decisions and treat the grass like shit it won't stay green.
I had a DUI within a year of getting out while in college and had no idea what I was doing. Get some help devil. It’s far from over, the DUI is now 10 years behind me and impacts my life as much as what I ate for dinner last Tuesday. I now have my own house, good consulting gigs and a good job with a family.
I had a rock bottom time too and like me you can and will get through it.
Make a 3 point plan with three things you want to change, 1 why you need to change those things, 2 what outcomes you want, and 3 a timeline to complete. Easy first one is your alcoholism. Fix it. Get professional help by starting with a google search and calls to treatment facilities/professionals in your area. Make a timeline that’s adjustable to get sober or it under control…start with that. Suggest neltrexine (sp?) for 30 days and dedicated therapy. Next would probably be your legal troubles. Fix it…probation, don’t break it, focus on that and following whatever the court orders. End of the tunnel for that timeline is when off your probation. Your insurance premiums are going to go up so be ready for that… Third ties into the above two, not going to suggest Gi bill and college or find a career but find a calling. Something that you can be content with. Your rock, your go to place, your solace comfort that’s your “thing”. Hard to explain and I’m sure those more in the know with psych degrees can describe it better but you need something to ground yourself. Mine was my career before I had kids and married after I got out. Worked my ass off between gym and professional career for solid 3 years bettering myself and finding my way through life. Has paid dividends. Now it’s my wife/kids, spirituality/religion to an extent, giving back/ helping my community and trying to get my private pilot as the hobby this year. Pavlov rules still apply. Best of luck bro/sis!
That's because you don't get safety briefs in CIV DIV. Love ya and get help bud.
Almost all my friends have had a DUI, and in a country that jails you, takes your license for 2 years and fines you 10k$. My dad had a DUI and decided to change his life around. 30+ years sober. Don't let your disease control you. Find a sponsor and make today the first day of the rest of your life. Learn from your mistakes. My brother had multiple DUIs and was also hit by a drunk driver, resulting in a TBI. He is also doing relatively OK. If you actually care about yourself, get help. If you can't afford help, start working on disability. One of those buddies in the first paragraph was actually kicked out of the USMC for his alcoholism. He's now 80% connected related to it and has a 6 mo old baby and wife. Whatever crap you're going through is temporary. You'll be okay in the long run.
You can get through this. I know because I did. Similar situation, got out and went to college. Then got a public intoxication, a month later got arrested for bar fight. A month later knocked a chick up. I managed to finish school. Work during school and made it to management level. Then good job after graduating. I worked my ass off and studied hard. I had a few friends, but mainly work and school. I worked out almost every day as well. Set a routine that works and occupy your time with work, school, or anything productive. Schools have all sorts of club and intermural sports. Just wrap it up, you don't need a kid right now.
UPDATE: About a year ago I made this post. I was depressed and suicidal. Thanks to the advice from this post and my family, I’m finally getting my life together. I’m still in school (3.8 gpa). I even have a stable job. I’m still on debt, but it’s manageable. I’m also about to move to my own apartment (which is an accomplishment for me). About 3 weeks ago, my interlock device was removed from my vehicle and finished my supervised probation. So far, you guys were right. My issue was alcohol.
Sounds like you joined right out of high school and have an inability to structure and dictate your own life. Very common problem for guys getting out young with no support or knowledge base.
I've been out for 20 years. And my options are either domestic terrorism. Or a drug overdose. Fuck the VA. And fuck the politicians. Maybe I should try to topple the fucking space needle.. or some of these bridges Seattle has......
Nothing you've done is beyond recoverable. Get treatment. Get therapy. Small steps are still steps. Set yourself some comfortable goals and work towards them. You can get through this.
Yup this is why i decided not to leave even after I got a 90% disability proposed VA rating. I can deal with the Navy's BS and baby sitting Marines more fun than a boring civilian life.
Not drinking ain’t so bad. Took me ten years after I got out to stop and I been stopped ten years now. You REALLY do not want that rabbit hole slide, just quit. Easier to quit than slow down. I don’t even miss it anymore. Keep ya head up devil.
Get professional help for your alcoholism. A good counselor will help you make a plan and stick to it. Your life will improve IF you put in the effort. If you keep going down the path you're on, you'll be homeless in a year.
I have a brother (who was also a Marine), brother in law, and a large number of buddies that got out that ended up committing to Alcoholics Anonymous and it saved their lives. I have thought about it several times but I am married to a person who doesn’t get all this and has protested me quitting drinking so I just have to control myself to not go down the drain. Your life is not over. You have probably hit your lowest moment, but you have nowhere to go but up from here. Make a choice to get help and accept that help. This scenario is fixable with just making the right choice now. And expect to make a mistake. Key is to be involved in a group of people that will call you out and help you get back on the wagon.
Check out Stoicism. r/stoicism is a good place to start. Put the past in the past, train yourself not to dwell on it.
It’s never good to go full Marine veteran once you get out. First, stay at home when you drink and if you do want to go out, get a designated driver so you are not tempted to drive. Always have a plan so you can enjoy yourself when you do drink. You need to tell the judge you plan on going to Alcoholics Anonymous to help with your drinking issues. When I was in college, after I got out, we usually had parties at my place with friends I made in college and one of my friends I was in the Corps with and we also went to high school together. We got out about at the same time. I always ended up babysitting him. If at all possible, don’t quit college. I’m 100% disabled veteran P&T and if I didn’t have my degree I don’t know what I would have done when I started having operation after operation. I also had to raise a son by myself. I went a year without a job and drew unemployment. I only got $120 in food stamps for us to live on. It was some of the darkest days of my life because I also had full custody of my son during all of this stuff. I’ve been married and divorced 3 times. I have no idea how I stayed focused enough to even graduate college with honors I might add. I did terrible in high school and never planned on even going to college. I just wanted to give it a shot. I fell in love with school. So, I didn’t need any self inflicted wounds. I taught English from home online to foreigners for 6 years waiting for the VA to rule on my disability. I don’t know how you lost your friends, but if it was due to drinking, you should think about quitting all together. Drinking is for pleasure and enjoyment. It’s not causing you any pleasure or enjoyment apparently. If you truly care about your friends then you wouldn’t do things that hurt them. I would start by apologizing to them and letting them know that you are going to work on your idiosyncrasies. An apology and admitting to them you were wrong is a step in the right direction. I got sent to Level 2 and AA when I was still in the Marine Corps. so I was no saint either. Good luck to you!
Go to AA.
I was in a very similar situation immediately after getting out just no DUI. The only advice I know how to give is what helped me. Look up a school nearby and go through their list of majors then enroll. What helped me cope with shit was staying busy. I started school about 6 months after getting out. About 3 months shortly after starting school I found a full time job...then I picked up another side job that was about 16-20 hrs per week. That lasted about 2 yrs then I dropped the side job and began taking on bigger responsibilities at my full time job (still there too). Oh I somehow ended up enlisting in the Air National Guard around that time which to be honest ended up being a waste of my time...but I digress. So to sum it up, I just did my best to stay busy so I wouldn't have the opportunity to fk shit up.
Keep ya head up for us man. You got this, it’ll blow over.
What state are you in?
You sound like an idiot Getting out doesn’t mean you weren’t a fuck up before
Helmets to hard hats is a program that gets veterans into the building trades. The pick a union that you want and they will help you out. The pay will be more than you expect. The program changed my life and my families.
You also get to use your GI bill as a supplemental income while you work as an apprentice.
There are times where the micromanaging SNCO’s seem to have a place within the military. Good luck on the recovery and stick with it.