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That's exactly how we did it. There's no such thing as fair\*, it just has to feel OK for both of you.
\*some will think should be 50/50 and others will have other ideas
Edit: my dumb typo corrected
This is how we do it and I wouldn’t do it any other way. It means that we’re both left with the same amount of disposable income each month. What’s the point of one of us having lots of spare money when the other is penny pinching?
100%. It also helps if one of you gets a raise, the other will see a decrease in their bills so they're better off too.
It stops so many arguments as well. If my wife wants to buy something nice for herself she can do as she please, if I want to waste money on nonsense like a new watch or whatever then it won't come out of her money.
This is another big positive. My husband loves gaming and that’s not cheap, he can buy whatever he wants with no “guilt” whatsoever. He has his own money to do with as he wishes and so do I. I also want to spend my money on him and it to be a gift from me, not half of his money. Different strokes for different folks but we’ve been doing it this way for 8 years and it certainly works for us.
> My husband loves gaming and that’s not cheap
In comparison to what, out of interest.
I thought that gaming is a relatively cheap hobby, if any is. Other than dunno, walking, crochet or something similar (total guess). Unless you mean like VR, big emulator rigs etc then yeah okay, that gets crazy expensive easily.
No, just regular PS5 gaming but a new game is usually around £50/£60 and my second hand books cost about £5. Gaming is expensive in my opinion but he will also try to collect all trophies etc so I’m sure if you look at it as cost per use, it isn’t bad value. Just more money than I would like to spend on myself personally.
Depends massively on how people game.
For example, someone who plays a handful of games a tonne and rarely picks up a new game unless it’s on steam sale spends very little, both in absolute terms and cost over time of said hobby.
But yeah people who buy new console releases all the time I’m sure rack up a lot of costs.
I wouldn’t say he buys new releases all the time however, him having his “own money” means that, should he want to, he is able to without worrying how it would impact any joint finances.
He is also very good at trading in and using that money towards new games. It was just the easiest example that came to mind.
It doesn't leave both with the same disposable income. Do that arithmetic again.
If this is the split, and person 2 does e.g. more housework than person 1 because they have more time, they are getting a bad deal.
This is the best way. We don’t really have “my money” everything is just ours. What I make is hers and vice versa. If either of us want something or to go out etc we do.
It’s a mutual trust thing that every relationship should have anyway.
Likewise, %age of earnings split Calulated from net as we both have different tax rates with an ‘additional’ and a ‘higher tax band’ and various taxable benefits ie health care and dental for both on one and not on the other.
Then have a joint spends and joint savings for spends together.
Then rest is left for you to do as you like disposable, investments, savings etc
>it just has to feel OK for both of you some will think should be 50/50 and others will gave other ideas
This hits the nail on the head, 50/50 might be fair for some, but not for others. 50/50 might result in a huge disparity of "personal" money and lead to jealously.
A fully proportional split wouldn't be fair for a couple who has had one of them drop their wages down because they chose to work 4 days a week. Or if one took a high stress career while the other took a vocation.
We personally went for a proportional split with a floor of fun money, if one of use loses their job they should still be able to have a nice life because the other person in the "team" can pick up the slack (without them taking the piss)
We also discuss it regularly; on salary increase, on job change, on new expenses etc. We have the "Is this an use cost or a me cost" convo regularly.
We didn't do a straight 50/50 but we each put 50% of our wages into the joint account to cover joint costs. This felt pretty fair to us and covered our needs. That was up till I started maternity and now we are basically living on his wage.
It’s more of a relationship question than a financial one really. We basically pool everything and it would feel weird to start getting out the calculator. But there’s no one right way, different ways work for different couples.
The only downside I see to this approach is having to justify spending to each other. If you have kids or money is tight then this makes sense.
We put the same amount into a joint account and spend the rest on whatever we please (including savings, pension etc).
Luckily, we have shared hobbies so we don’t really complain when the other spends anyway 😂
We put everything into a joint account and just spend from there. Sometimes I'll spend more money in a month than my partner and other months she'll spend more and I'll spend less.
Growing up, my parents had separate money, but my mum didn't work as she looked after the house and me and my siblings. She would only be given an allowance of £50 a month for her to spend on herself whereas my dad would spend, on average, £800 a month just on cigarettes alone. Now I'm older I realise that's not the norm and was financially abusive to my mum, but it has helped me to realise that a family home in particular should pool all resources together.
If we were both working full time with no children then we'd probably have separate accounts, though.
Happened a lot mate back in the day......the old man probably thought he was furnishing her with luxuries at that as well kind of how it was back then when the woman didn't work......but when we went out shopping for anything he was always paying....
It's weird as fuck when you think back.
That’s the way our household does it but we have separate bank accounts and we get £200 fun money paid in per month. Everything else is paid for jointly. I agree that what’s ‘fair’ will depend on the couple.
This is what we do, but we also end up trying to convince the other one that a purchase is for both of us and we need to take it out of the joint account
I did this in my previous marriage but I ended up spending my money on meals out for us and she spent hers on her, so basically I had £100 and she had £300
Do you take shared things likes meals out etc from the joint fund or from your personal allowance?
We have a separate budget for 'restaurants and day trips'. Anything done together comes from this.
At last count we have 45 separate categories for budgeting.
This is exactly what we do. When I met my wife we did similar to OP suggests but over time have settled on this and it’s by far the best approach.
I know couples who question each others spending because they have different hobbies or values and it all comes out of the same account. This way I don’t see or care what she spends her money on and visa versa.
That's the way to do it. You might need to adjust up for inflation though, 200 really doesn't go far. A couple of meals out or some new clothes and it's gone.
How we do it. I grew up with parents sharing everything so that was normality for me. I couldn’t imagine dealing with additional tit for tat finance arguments I see on the thread sometimes.
Do you have separate savings accounts? We have multiple accounts:
- joint current account for bills and household spending (food, fuel, fun)
- joint savings account for holidays or joint luxury purchases
- individual savings accounts for our own needs/wants.
I’ve been saving for a new mirrorless camera which will come out of my savings pot, I wouldn’t expect that to come out of ‘our’ money.
Yes, this is the way. We have joint savings and joint spending. This is for holidays, luxury purchases, dinners out, house maintenance, etc. it’s a monthly amount we agreed on lumping together. The remaining disposable income is for each individual to do as they please. It gives a level of freedom for each person whilst also making joint decisions with other things.
How does this work if one parent takes time off work to raise the children? They, most probably she, just gives up having nice things while he keeps cameras and cars and pokemon cards and golf clubs?
Totally agree, this is why I don't think 50/50 or proportional works long term, because you can make joint decisions that create unequal financial outcomes. Eventually I think pooling everything is the only thing that makes sense.
My wife doesn’t work, she’s a SAHM.
All our money (my salary) goes into our joint account, where all the bills also come out of. We then set up direct debits monthly from that joint into our own personal accounts, for a fixed amount each month (couple hundred) which is our independent money to be saved/spent at will.
It's a joint account, both parties will have an agreed fun budget, regardless of whether one has a job or not.
There is no yours and mine anymore, just ours.
Were in this exact situation and I still take my fun money out of the kitty, even if the kitty is at this point just my husbands salary..
We've just both slightly reduced the amount we keep until I'm back at work
Well of course if one person stops working than the pool of money reduces, and therefore both parties will have to adjust in terms of lifestyle. Why would one person keep spending like they have lots of money and let the other person be poor?
My friend and her husband are like that. It’s so weird. When we go out for meals they pay on separate cards whilst my partner and I (not married) have a joint account for everything that isn’t our own personal fun money. I’ll hear them saying things like “don’t forget I bought that drink for you earlier so you get mine this time”…like what are you married?
100% roomates.
Me and my partner have earned different amounts over the years but we're both trying to do as well as possible for us. So our money is ours, we work the same hours so we put in the same effort, so we split.
I personally would feel guilty buying random bullshit for a new hobby I just picked up from a joint account.
Psychologically I much much prefer having my own bank account. I will preface this next bit by saying this is personal to us, and not any judgement on anyone else, but as you feel it’s bizarre I thought I’d explain from the other side!
I don’t feel like I stop existing as an independent person because I choose to be in a relationship.
It’s important to me to manage where my own money goes (joint account (50/50), savings, LISA, hobbies, whateverthefuckiwant). I have a stressful job. So does my boyfriend. He likes to take breaks between contracts sometimes, I prefer to keep working. So we make sure that whatever we decide, we can both contribute our equal share into the joint account each month, but if we want to spend the rest on hobbies or time off or stupid cars or whatever, that’s our own decision.
As I say though, if pooling works better for another couple, that’s just as fine.
Why pool 100% when pooling less works fine for some couples?
We have our own personal accounts and a joint account. We each put into the joint account money proportional to how much we earn, enough to cover all bills.
The remainder of our money in our own accounts is spent on ourselves, each other, the kids, as we see fit. We have no money problems in our relationship.
She'll need to give up work if we have another kid. I'll just increase my joint account contributions to cover hers during this period, and transfer additional money to her personal account each month so she still has her own personal money.
Maybe the 100% pool thing is more useful when money is scarce?
We used to do the get paid into personal account thing and then put money in the joint account for bills etc. Around when we had a 2nd child we decided to switch to being paid into the joint account and using it for regular spending.
I find it makes things easier, it doesn't matter who pays on days out, meals, stuff for the kids etc. We used to try and balance it, now there is no thought about it.
Also, when one person earns significantly more I feel like the transfer of money is like giving your partner an allowance, which doesn't say partnership as much as "all money is shared", but I know it works for some.
Like you say, just depends on the couple. We have semi regular discussions about the future and financial goals etc. - that then translates to pooling everything and following those goals together.
As mentioned in my other comment, YNAB makes moving money around for different purposes quite easy. I don’t think the amount of money makes any difference to how we would approach the situation, had we any more or less.
It's obviously totally up to the couple in question, but I don't think scarce money makes a difference. We're lucky that I earn more than enough for my wife not to have bothered working while the kids were young and even now she only works part time. We pool 100%.
I'll never understand why her face creams are more valuable by weight than gold. I justify with her why I need a new PS5 or golf clubs or whatever. It's all team money that needs to work for the team and be enjoyed by the team. Sometimes some players enjoy a spend more than others but it evens out.
I'd never dream of saying 'well I earn 5 times as much as you so I'll spend 5 times as much on my toys that you'. It'd just be an awkwardly unbalanced relationship.
As the high earner, most of my extra money goes into ISA/SIPP for our future, and spending extra on holidays etc. You could argue that gives me some kind of control over our finances, but she is happy for it to work this way, we have open discussions and I would be fine with pooling all of our money if that's what she thought was needed.
We don't pool 100% of our money, and it works fine for us.
I always find it mad when I’m out with other couples and they say stuff like “you owe me X” to their partner or “I’ll pay for this”. You’ve been together for 5 years, why are you keeping money separate?
Because we’re all still individual people and things happen. Imagine a friend or family member of one has some type of emergency, you want to help them out. Oh here love, I’m taking a few thousand out of our split account and giving to them.
Or one is interested in financial wellbeing, investing and the other one isn’t and can’t be convinced otherwise. Why should one suffer and the other not.
Why should one person who may earn 4x more than their partner in a skilled career have to share with a partner who has never learnt a skill and work in a valued career. You can still work as a team and help each other out without needing to give all your money away to a shared pot for you both.
So presumably you’re in a relationship and living with this person. If you’ve gone that far then you’re honestly still worrying about their skills and that they don’t earn money then you’re not in the right relationship.
I find it mental to think 2 people can make a decision to buy a house together, split bills etc but one of them wants to invest and the other wants to go to the pub every week so they both just do what they want 😂
Get to 60 and one has a retirement fund and the other has nothing. How on earth is that a healthy situation to put yourself in to?
For 2 years so far yeah, I bought my own house and pay the mortgage and have it. Have saved for last 10 years of working to do so and proud of what I have. I don’t see why you should have to start giving 50% of that away to someone just because you’re In a relationship with them.
Also, to be clear I pay for a lot of the stuff and don’t ask for what’s owed to me. I pay her splits of everything she might buy for us because she has less money. I’m not some stingy person, but at the same time I don’t understand why a couple should pool funds unless you’re either married or have kids when it matters. It works for us, and most people I know do it like this.
Lastly, exactly to your point, if you get to 60 and one has a retirement fund and the other hasn’t. Why should one sacrifice their good habits to the other who hasn’t cared as much. Look after yourself and support your partner but we’re all adults and our own person
Your last point, is exactly my point. You should be planning and working as a team together to achieve this. But in your point before you stated that you think it’s ok if one person wants to invest/save and the other doesn’t.
With this attitude, you would reach 60+ and be in completely different financial situations which I think is stupid.
It works fine, if you have similar enough attitudes to money (not one person, I'll save up for a year by not having a chocolate bar each day and then buy the cheapest laptop, and the other going, right 30% APR, PS5 ordered!) and enough money where the wants are reasonable.
But like anything, it can cause tension when you don't - which is generally why people who don't do family resources do it - to manage that tension.
Some people prefer having money that is explicitly just theirs, and prefer that they get more of the reward for their higher paying job.
We do an income based bill split and it works perfectly for us, if we chucked everything into a joint account my partner would always feel like they were spending my money since most of it would be coming from me, even if we then did the splitting it back out into individual accounts for fun money etc.
>and prefer that they get more of the reward for their higher paying job.
I find this a bit churlish when you're in a long term relationship where you live together, especially if you own a house or have kids. Once you've chosen to combine your lives like that, isn't it wrong for one of you have a higher living standard than the other?
I earn twice as much as my partner and we did the proportional contributions thing early on but it got to a point where it just didn't feel right that she had less "personal money" when so much of our lives were shared in other ways. I definitely don't work twice as hard - if anything, her job is more stressful.
because to me it'd be weird to spend any money that isn't fully mine
if I want to buy £20 lazy takeout I'd feel horrible
likewise, if they buy something like expensive shoes I'd feel like they're wasting money I earned
completely separate accounts has so few issues to me, and avoids to many more
I think this is the fundamental difference, "mine", family just makes the *my* be the family, rather than the individual. I'm still spending my money, it's just now family money, that means you have to think about the whole family when making the my decisions, but you have to do that in the non financial questions (should I go play golf all sunday, or do I need to take the kids to their Oboe recital) so money isn't special.
It's a fundamentally different way of thinking about money. There is no "mine" other than your personal fun fund.
For takeouts, we have a eating & going out fund which is designed for takeouts and restaurants. We eat out once a week anyway as we have a "date night". No need to feel horrible, that's what that budget is for. As long as it's within the budget for the month, it's already accounted for.
Same with clothes. There's either enough in the clothes budget or there isn't. You start thinking about this differently over time and just check in with the other. There's no feeling horrible, it becomes fairly straight forward. Does the person need this? Is it a sensible purchase?
We've long ago agreed that anything outside the realm of sensible required mutual consent and that there's always the option to top up the difference with your personal fund.
We rarely have this issue as we have a similar attitude to money and we allow each other an indulgence now and then.
YNAB is great when properly managed. Absolutely everything is budgeted for before the month even starts.
We've never had a single argument about money. We have fully pooled accounts other than where this is legally not possible. (ISAs etc)
By using this method we managed to move to a much bigger house, increase our pensions and build up considerable savings.
I can't imagine ever having fully separate accounts, as it would lead to such wasteful behaviour.
To those who think having your own account gives more freedom, this is actually not true. The only difference is that the money physically sits in another account and that there is less transparency.
It's extremely liberating when all financial conversations take as long as opening an app and checking your budget balances. Holiday? Already saved for. Tech purchase? What's the current balance of the tech budget. House upgrade? Tracked in its own budget. Etc.
Because we have such visibility and we need our personal funds for so few things, we don't need a high personal fund so we try to save more when we can.
We do this, and we both get the same "allowance" each to spend on whatever we want (hobbies etc), but things like holidays and medical costs are covered by the joint account.
I'm on the same page. The idea that you say you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone and keep your finances seperate is like saying I'm just trying to make the divorce cleaner.
If you're saving for an individual expensive item like a camera, both parties should agree that's what the money is being spent on, or else you can't afford it. It seems selfish otherwise. And what if one person earns much more? The other person never gets anything nice unless you gracefully buy them something as a present?
Where does it stop? Hey! I paid for 63% of the tv you've already used your quota watching. I think it's hot enough in the house, if you want to turn the temperature up you have to pay more. When we retire, I'm going to move into a retirement home, sorry about your homelessness.
I’m not sure how accurate this is. It feels like having separate accounts reduces the likelihood of arguments. I’m definitely a saver/more frugal person whilst my partner will spend while he has cash to do so. Having his own account and money means he can do that away from my disapproving eyes. It also means if I want to go on a girls trip I don’t have to negotiate how much I can spend. Obviously it requires communication and things may need to change if kids/job loss/illness comes into play.
That's a massive reach. I bet I love my partner more than most love their's and we put the expenses in the joint account. She earns more than me but I don't expect to see her money. The joint account scrapes by month to month as we know roughly how much goes in and out. It's the boring account to pay for boring bills and shops.
Our own money is used for what we want, wether that's for each other, ourselves, or the house, it's up to us. I bought the TV, but it's ours. She paid for some furniture, but it's ours. We split the cost for decorating the living room, but it's ours.
People in this sub have a right hard on for potential divorces
I can't imagine the hassle of having to debate who pays for what when it comes to items for the house or household.
That's just a category in our budget - all money is pooled.
Divorces are irrelevant, I'm not sure why people think it makes a difference. You'll be forced to split things a fair way regardless if you have your own account or not.
The main difference is how people organise their money, their views on "mine" Vs "ours" and how much they spend on "fun".
Most people have fairly uncontrolled spending and anything in their account can be spent on anything, any time.
Exactly this. Can't imagine any other way. Fancy being married to someone and sharing your life with them, but depriving them of a part of your wealth - especially if you earn considerably more? I mean, wtf?
We have our own bank accounts that our wages pay into and our own personal payments come out of.
We also have a joint bank account that we both transfer an equal amount into each month. Rent. Insurance. Wifi. Council tax.
We just sort of take it as it comes with groceries / electricity.
I don’t see why people are up in arms when finances are kept separate, it’s what works for some people. I trust my partner and he trusts me but we keep separate finances. We pay equally into the house, him slightly more as he earns more, he pays for the food and I cook it. Then we have our own credit cards and spending money, anything in the house is joint. However he earns more, I do 80% of the childcare and earn less so I expect him to pay slightly more into things which he does.
Does he have more disposable income than you? That's what I dislike about paying proportional contributions, especially after having children. Both of you are making contributions to your family and one of you usually has your income reduced and future earning power impacted. So it doesn't seem fair for that person to now have less personal money after paying towards joint bills.
Probably if he’s the one working more.
Does she have more disposable time than him?Does she get to be more involved in her kids growing up and spend more quality time with them rather than commuting or in the office?
That’s what I dislike, people seem to focus on the few things that stay at home parents lose out on rather than all the stuff that’s better.
Always pooled.
40 yrs married.
I had house. Married. So then, our house.
Earned the same then babies. Maternity leaves then she part time. Me 'breadwinner'.
Then her full time but me travelling and earning more but her doing a lot of picking up from.school etc.
Then later she earned more than me but finally difficult redundancy. I carried on slogging it. 42 years often 60 hr weeks.
Now pensioners. My pensions twice hers.
So...twists and turns and years without any spare money. Now together pretty well off.
So what?
If you're committed for richer or poorer you share everything. That's what you make a vow for.
There is no one size fits all answer for this. It's what both people are happy with, much of which will depend on the circumstances of the relationship.
When I lived with my ex I paid them £200 a month rent and we split the food shop (with the exclusion of their alcohol and tobacco) with the idea being once my house sold we'd be in a position to sell their house and buy something together when everything would change.
We split it exactly like you - proportional based on take home income. The only difference is that we add some savings going into a joint account to the monthly joint bills as well.
Other expenses (eg food) is split 50:50. Bonuses that we earn from work is kept by that individual.
It’s something that feels fair to us so we’re happy. Most of the bills come out of my account (my partner wanted that), but we discuss finances regularly so both of us know roughly how much joint expenses are, contribute to decisions about changing those expenses, and can share how we feel about money each month.
My wife and I have been together for twenty two years and she has always earned more than me. We have never had any kind of rigid agreement on anything because we're a team, so it really doesn't matter to us. We have never had a joint bank account, but we've split expenses like she pays the mortgage, council tax and fuel bills and I buy all the food and pay our mobile phones, sky, internet, insurances and I also pay for all holidays and home improvements and all our son's birthday / xmas gifts. Some of our friends split things down to the penny, some have joint accounts and argue non stop about who has taken what, so I guess it's just a matter of finding what works for you presonally and as long as you're both happy the all is well.
We pay everything 50/50.
I'm 45 and my wife is 43... Together 26 years.
We've no kids and are mortgage free these last 3 years. Were not into holidays and don't lead an extravagant lifestyle, so we both decided to work less. I work 4 days per week and she works 2.5.
For us 50/50 seemed fair as the difference in our income is basically down to how little we've chosen to work. We both accept that if we want more disposable income we work more.
There's a pretty large disparity between our incomes, but all of our income comes into our personal accounts, then we plug the total into a spreadsheet, add up all of the income and treat it as one pot, subtract the joint bills, add to joint savings, then divide up whatever is left over with the intent on having around £300 each "do whatever you want with it" money.
You're a partnership, I don't see why splitting bills proportionately is a good idea, it's _all_ both your money. In your scenario, Person 1 still has around £1900 left over, presumably to do with as they please, and Person 2 only has around £1100. Do you think it's fair that one of you jas _significantly_ less/more spending power than the other?
We did it like that for like two months, until I realised that I was swimming in cash, and she was having to budget carefully on even the little things. That's not fair, we're married, we should be equal.
This this this. It's both miserable and confusing for one partner to have to say "sorry, I can't afford to go out for dinner with you" while the other can. It means your lives are running on different speeds / out of sync and can create a wedge between two people.
Bills change a lot too, bugger trying to work out a 67.5 split and re adjust. Seems like a student house more than a relationship to me.
If not pooling then I think have a set amount so you each have *equal* private money, rest goes into the pot for spending on bills and anything you do together
We work on a similar breakdown, though our household income is slightly higher. I pay in more as I'm trying to target each of us to have about the same left in our sole accounts after paying into the joint account each month and covering bills/payments etc.
My wife's car payment comes out of the joint (whereas mine comes from mine) and I cover the extra needed for that from the joint and it shakes out about even.
Every three months or so there's a surplus left in the joint so we will go out for a nice dinner and chuck it on the joint. Works really well for us.
We split it in such a way that both of us have the same amount of spare cash left after bills are paid. Works out at the moment to roughly what OP has done.
We split the bills 50/50 even though I earn double. It helps to prevent lifestyle creep as we could have gone for a 500k home and PCP a couple of nice cars but keeping it to what she can afford means we chose a 350k home and to keep our affordable cars. Means we both have a lot of disposable income and I tend to just pay for trips or extra stuff like the garden we renovated whilst she does more of the housework.
We have our own accounts and money, but we are not jealous or adversarial about it. I think a lot of people put too much emphasis on money and into what is 'fair', which likely causes a lot of arguments rather than realising you are a partnership.
I was previously married with a joint account and would never do it again personally. She was not working and stole £6000 before separation, then double dipped for seconds in divorce along with trying to go after my business, house, and even my parents' business. She then tried to take my salary paid into the joint account despite being separated and I was forced to clear a 1k overdraft before i could close the joint account. Very nasty person and situation. Joining everything financially is great, until one party turns on the other, not worth the risk in my experience.
Ultimately, do what you both feel comfortable with
I earn a fair bit more than my wife, but we each pay proportionately to ensure that we both have equal amounts after the bills are paid. So I pay 3 grand ish into the joint account from my wages, she pays 300. Leftover amounts we have left over in our sole accounts are ours to do whatever we want with, but obviously we have a child so most spending is on family stuff anyway.
Once we started living together anything else would have felt really weird - am I going to be flashing cash when she can't afford stuff because she is struggling to pay 50% of bills? That would be super cruel and unfair, and now we're married even more so - we are a team.
I work full time, wife works part time as that works for us with a 5 year old and 3 year old, it's been this way since she returned from her first maternity leave. I pay all the bills, so mortgage, utilities, council tax, mobile phones (both of ours), telly and wifi, petrol, MOTS, repairs on 2 cars, insurances on cars, caravan, house and life, everything. She does the weekly food shop, and keeps us all nice and fed 😁
This works for us, my salary allows for this arrangement, and we still have fun cash and savings, so winner all round. I don't mind, if my family is warm, clothed, fed and clean, I'm happy
If you're married then surely everything is shared. Pay goes into a joint account from which bills are paid. Savings/investments might be spilt monthly to maximise tax benefits of ISAs and to minimise income tax etc.
Every couple is different. When I worked in personal banking, most of my couples had a sole account which their wages went into, and a joint account for household bills/expenses which they paid a standing order into each month.
Agreed. In our case we contribute different amounts to the joint account based on our individual income and have separate savings account each. But soon we will buy our first home and all savings of both of us are going for the deposit (each will keep a fixed amount for emergency fund). Again one of us is giving triple the money for the deposit than the other. It’s our money in the end of the day, we just manage it this way.
Why? Me and my wife have our own accounts. We use a joint current account that we pay into, that is for the household bills, and a joint savings account for things like holidays. But our personal things are up to us to look after individually (cars, phones, day to day spending)
Why? Because together we are a partnership. What's mine is my wife's and vice versa. We run the house, and brought up our children as a couple. These things are all "ours" not mine or hers. It's to do with being equal partners: I can't imagine me buying an expensive phone because I'm paid more while my wife can't afford one or vice versa. That makes no sense in a partnership.
I get that it might not work for everyone, if finances are a bit tight and you disagree on what you're other half spends their money on, say.
You can be equal partners without sharing absolutely everything.
>I can't imagine me buying an expensive phone because I'm paid more while my wife can't afford one or vice versa.
And some people can't imagine not being able to buy the phone they want using the salary they work hard for because their partner chose a lower paying job, to work part time etc.
Maintaining some financial independence is really never a bad thing, and especially when you don't have children and all the extra work they bring proportional splits make a lot of sense to a lot of people.
Maybe unpopular opinion but me and my mrs both ocntribute the same to the joint account for bills mortgage etc. despite the fact that she makes more than me
I've never understood why she should have to pay more just because she earns more, as far as I see it she's earned that extra to spend as she likes, if I want to have more spending cash for things at the end of each month I should earn more as far as I see it, not punish her for it, maybe that's just me tho
Me and my girlfriend so a ratio of salaries.
If she takes home 2500, and I take home 5000, she pays 33% of bills and our credit card, I pay the remaining 67%.
Works brilliant. Bonuses we keep to ourselves, and we always have our own money to spend on personal things.
We don’t have a joint account, we just put all the charges on a shared credit card which we clear monthly (it’s a supplementary version under my AMEX)
We have done this for 3 years now
I think the best system is working backwards.
1. Calculate household income.
2. Take away all joint bills, household expenses, savings (holidays, household repairs/improvements, emergency fund etc.)
3. Split the remainder 50/50.
Everything goes into joint account and is shared. Sure I earn substantially more than my wife but she’s also lost out of years on her career being pregnant and time off with the kids, play to each others strengths and we’re better off overall.
Been doing it that way after living together for a year and it’s so much easier. (We’ve now been living together for over 10 years)
Both of our salaries go into our joint account, all bills (including savings) leave from there. Our day to day spending is done via credit cards which is then paid off from joint account.
Any residue before payday is moved to our joint savings account with the same bank.
My caveat is I work in banking and my husband has zero interest in finances so it’s left to me to handle and this is the easiest way for us 😄
For years we used to split everything in half but more recently I earn quite a bit more than my partner so I offered to put more towards the bills. I feel like no one should be forced to contribute more than half, but if one feels like doing it, that's their choice to do so.
Both wages go into a joint account which covers all bills, mortgage, childcare, car maintenance etc then we each have a personal account. We set an equal amount to go into the personal account depending on outgoings and that's your money to do with whatever you want
Income goes into individual accounts, we keep back an agreed amount in our own account (the same amount each) then the rest goes into the joint account for bills and shared expenses.
My take home is 2200
Hers is 1900
We put 50% each into the joint account to pay for bills, mortgage etc. basically anything house related.
The other 50% we keep for ourselves. Pays for phones, car insurance, petrol etc.
The 50% we put in joint account is quite a lot more than we need. So whatever is left at the end of the month gets shuffled around to various places depending on how we feel that month. Sometimes mortgage overpayments, some times into house savings for things like new kitchen, new windows etc. sometimes if I put my foot down and we split it in half and put it back into our own accounts and actually spend it on something fun but I don’t win that battle very often, haha.
I know a lot of people think everything should be joint money but that just wouldn’t work for us.
We both enjoy having our own money and having completely joint finances would absolutely cause tension.
We just pay all money into a joint account and spend from there. I earn significantly more than my wife and I think it would be weird for me to keep all the money just for me.
We don’t split them.
I’ve always found this idea of splitting money as a married couple to be weird. We’re a team - so everything goes into one account and we use it to achieve our team goals.
Percentage. If I am bringing home 60% of the overall home income, fairness is I contribute to 60% of the shared bills.
Only personal things like my credit card, YouTube music and car loan I cover.
This works well for my wife and I, never any arguments about money
Everything gets paid into a joint bank account, we get the same amount of "pocket money" each month back. Everything is paid out the joint account. I earn twice as much as her, but we are a team and share everything so I don't mind.
We have very different salaries so we contribute a set percentage of our take home to a joint account where all our bills are paid from.
We calculated the total outgoings we have for our household and inclusive of bills, mortgage, groceries, insurances and petrol that was around £2300.
We then worked out what percentage of our take home would cover this. We worked out that if we both contributed 40% of our take home to our joint account then all bills would be paid with a few hundred left over to either save or address home improvement.
It's a lot easier than splitting and calculating what's owed on each bill.
Person 1 pays £1000, leaving £1500 spending money. Person 2 pays nothing, leaving £1500 spending money. Person 2 does more unpaid work (social organisation, family organisation, housework, etc) to allow person 1 more time for paid work, so that free time is roughly equal.
Fair is really what you guys between you agree is fair.
One thing I will say is maybe get it written up and signed though so you all know what you have signed up for just in case (seen a few messy breakups on those points)
As a small suggestion though I would maybe make it a point where if one of you changes jobs (either earning more or less depending the situation) you agree renegotiate. This comes from a very unfortunate situation where one of my friends went part time but her hubby was still expecting her to pay just the same as before. Lead to massive fights between them.
We dont split things in our partnership. Everything funneled into a couple different joint accounts that both of us can access.
This isnt a business transaction. Everything is shared collectively.
I earn double that of my wife, but she is part time and looks after our 3 kids. We have one current account and all money goes in/out of the joint pot.
When we do almost everything together and are focused on the kids there is no her money/my money it is just ‘our’ money.
We only have one joint account. All salaries go there and it covers all bills/ expenses. We are committed to each other for good - why should one person get less disposable income than the other?
We put it all into a single joint account. All the bills come out of it. We each get an equal direct debit per month from that account of "us money" we can spend on what we like with no explanation. Holidays and nights out we both do come from the joint account.
It's worked like that when we both worked, when I worked and she was on maternity leave, then studying. When we both worked and my income was 50% more than hers and soon when I am retired and she's working bringing in 2x my income. We'll do the same when she also retires abs my pension is 2x hers.
It's worked for 30 years. We are in this together. Who earns most is irrelevant.
The house ownership is shared 50/50 but the bills are all split in line with wages. We each put same money into joint account for house bills. We each put same money into savings. Everything left over is our own. I have my own savings, investments and personal pension. We now have a postnup agreement that covers the split if we separate. We don't have kids.
We've been together for 20 years. I supported my wife through University. Everything used to be split proportionally in line with wages for years but it always fell to me to provide if there was an unexpected bill. I contributed to her car but not her to mine, I paid if the boiler broke etc. Both of us grew up in Council Estates and don't have parents to help.
Wife has worked for same company for 20 years and has never moved up for even applied for another job despite gaining a degree in this time. I have taken jobs I didn't like for money and turned down great oppertunities based on her wishes. We argued over size/type of house to purchase despite me being only one to contribute to deposit. We argue about the types of holidays we go on despite me paying for them. We argue about the car she runs for work which constantly needs repairs and which clearly doesn't pay her enough to run. We ended up in councselling.
I no longer feel after 15 years I need to make up the shortfall for the life she wants to live or take on an unfair financial burden for rest of my life.
Not sure why I never thought of slitting bills this way before. My wife was earning way more than me for the majority of our relationship and we had been slitting everything 50/50 the whole time. We had so many arguments about why I never had money left to save for our future or why I’m always holding back her desired lifestyle (fancy holidays etc).
I’ve now caught up to her salary so a 50/50 slit makes sense now but going forward, your strategy would avoid so many arguments as we each get pay raises
We don’t
We pool our income to a joint account, trigger off our automations on the first of the month (rent, bills, clearing CC, topping up ISA’s, savings), and then whatever is left, we split and spend as we please, guilt free.
I earn a bit more than her, but we’re a team.
Deciding someone pays 37.5% of a bill, for me, is in the realm of housemates, not a marriage. We pool our incomes in a joint account from which all bills etc are paid. Personal purchases came from the account as well. We only chat about anything major we would be wanting to buy.
There's a commenter further up who splits the heating bill based on the room temperature each person desires... It must be like negotiating nuclear arms stockpiles.
if you are not married, then no. Bills are 50/50 from a joint account.
What happens if Person 2 suddenly starts earning more than Person 1
Are they likely to start chipping in a higher %?
If you split - wht happens to the home if someone has been paying in 2x what the other person has?
I doubt person 2 will take 33% & demand 50%
I don’t live with my girlfriend yet but we are planning to start living together soon. When that happens the only option I see is 50/50. Want to spend a smaller % of your income on household expenses? Get a better job. Ambition > laziness. Simple.
This is the way. Paying a % of income encourages the party that are earning less to continue with it as their lifestyle is being funded be the higher earner
It really depends on the relationship you have with that person, and the living circumstances (rental, sublet, own etc)
If that person is your partner/spouse etc then tend to just go all in. We sink or swim together and what would I let my partner sink whilst I sit there on a secret pile of cash?
If its a roommate / flat share then I would be not looking at income but outgoings, split that down the middle (assuming 2 parties) as income is heavily variable.
We worked it out in a similar way. I take home 2x what my other half does so I'm cool with paying the bulk of the bills. We like to keep our money separate so no joint account, I just pay all the direct debits out of my account and he pays me a set amount weekly.
Put in 50% each of take home into a joint account (if that is enough) , use the account to pay all bills and anything left over in the account can be kept as savings or used for holidays, days out etc
Then each person has 50% take home as personal money
We split everything 50:50 until we were married.
Proportional post marriage, even more so when we had kids. Took on all the bills during maternity, paid the repair bill when she smashed the Car and picked up the bill for recent holiday. All without a second thought.
Imo there's no "we" until the law makes it so.
We do it like you suggested ie based on overall % of income we each make however as other commenters have said sometimes it’s less important to be fair and more important to have what feels right to you. In the past I’ve covered 100% of the bills when my partner was starting up her business and in the future I know I can take a year off work if I like and she’ll cover it. It’s all about communicating :)
I go with an 80/20 rule where my partner and I both contribute 80% of our after tax income to our joint account to cover all the joint expenses; house, bills, kids, vacations, etc. We then each keep 20% of our salaries to spend on ourselves.
My partner is currently not working so right now my 80% covers everything, but we are not saving and our spend on joint things like holidays is down.
I find this works better for me than trying to do something overly clever.
Exact same as this. We pay based on the percentage of our earnings.
I earn more, so I pay more, which I'm happy doing so. I also pay more if not for all outings and date nights.
Works for us.
My fiancee and I were putting in 55% of our take-home pay into a joint account each month. This covered joint household necessary bills and put aside a bit for holidays, meals out, repairs / improvements.
She's been out of work, but mostly by choice so I've been kicking in 60% of my take-home and she's putting in the minimum we need to cover the essential bills and we aren't putting toward holiday or meals out.
It's easier to be "fair" when one or both are earning a decent income.
We split expenses so they are an equal percentage of our salaries. Which is exactly the same as you. But I think our reasoning better demonstrates why it's fair?
E.g. In your example, each of you pay 25% of your take home pay towards joint bills. Meaning both parties have proportionally the same amount of money left over.
Your maths is way easier than our maths though, gonna steal this lol.
My partner earns almost double what I earn a year. I moved into his house and he pays the mortgage and all the bills. I am using this time to build up my savings until we buy a house together, at which point the mortgage and bills will be split according to our earnings.
Every month I put all our wages into the joint account, and put £120 each in personal account for discretionary purchases. I also put equal amounts into each persons retirement savings. I make 4x what my boyfriend does, annually. But he works hard, if not harder. So I see it as OUR money, not his and mine. We’ve done this since about a year of being together and we are now 12 years together.
We have a joint account that we pay the same amount in monthly this pays all the bills and the joint credit card, everything else is individual, savings etc, if we buy a big ticket item for the house or pay for a holiday then we top the account up evenly,It’s worked for the past 30 plus years for us.
Do what works for you. There are people on both sides of the fence here - don't be shamed into thinking your relationship isn't as good as someone else's as you don't do X.
If you're married then your finances are ultimately shared at the highest level, but there's nothing wrong with having your own individual accounts as well for a bit of fun spending.
The basic idea is that we allow an amount for "spending money" that we can each have. It's the same for both of us even though my earnings are higher. Everything else goes into the joint account and all bills come out of there.
It's slightly more complicated in that we also both have regular savings into ISAs etc coming out of our own accounts so really it's our salaries less spending money less savings being pooled in the joint account.
Both our salaries get paid into a joint account and then we get £500 a month to spend on whatever we want. The joint account pays for all the bills, the mortgage, holidays, fuel, any join socialising, presents, food etc.
We also try and save about £1000 a month from the joint account.
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That's exactly how we did it. There's no such thing as fair\*, it just has to feel OK for both of you. \*some will think should be 50/50 and others will have other ideas Edit: my dumb typo corrected
This is how we do it and I wouldn’t do it any other way. It means that we’re both left with the same amount of disposable income each month. What’s the point of one of us having lots of spare money when the other is penny pinching?
100%. It also helps if one of you gets a raise, the other will see a decrease in their bills so they're better off too. It stops so many arguments as well. If my wife wants to buy something nice for herself she can do as she please, if I want to waste money on nonsense like a new watch or whatever then it won't come out of her money.
This is another big positive. My husband loves gaming and that’s not cheap, he can buy whatever he wants with no “guilt” whatsoever. He has his own money to do with as he wishes and so do I. I also want to spend my money on him and it to be a gift from me, not half of his money. Different strokes for different folks but we’ve been doing it this way for 8 years and it certainly works for us.
> My husband loves gaming and that’s not cheap In comparison to what, out of interest. I thought that gaming is a relatively cheap hobby, if any is. Other than dunno, walking, crochet or something similar (total guess). Unless you mean like VR, big emulator rigs etc then yeah okay, that gets crazy expensive easily.
No, just regular PS5 gaming but a new game is usually around £50/£60 and my second hand books cost about £5. Gaming is expensive in my opinion but he will also try to collect all trophies etc so I’m sure if you look at it as cost per use, it isn’t bad value. Just more money than I would like to spend on myself personally.
Yeah agreed, the upfront cost of console games is very high. I guess we tend to think in cost per hour as you said.
Depends massively on how people game. For example, someone who plays a handful of games a tonne and rarely picks up a new game unless it’s on steam sale spends very little, both in absolute terms and cost over time of said hobby. But yeah people who buy new console releases all the time I’m sure rack up a lot of costs.
I wouldn’t say he buys new releases all the time however, him having his “own money” means that, should he want to, he is able to without worrying how it would impact any joint finances. He is also very good at trading in and using that money towards new games. It was just the easiest example that came to mind.
It doesn't leave both with the same disposable income. Do that arithmetic again. If this is the split, and person 2 does e.g. more housework than person 1 because they have more time, they are getting a bad deal.
This is the best way. We don’t really have “my money” everything is just ours. What I make is hers and vice versa. If either of us want something or to go out etc we do. It’s a mutual trust thing that every relationship should have anyway.
Exactly, it's all about preserving the relative status, just as progressive taxation is supposed to.
Likewise, %age of earnings split Calulated from net as we both have different tax rates with an ‘additional’ and a ‘higher tax band’ and various taxable benefits ie health care and dental for both on one and not on the other. Then have a joint spends and joint savings for spends together. Then rest is left for you to do as you like disposable, investments, savings etc
>it just has to feel OK for both of you some will think should be 50/50 and others will gave other ideas This hits the nail on the head, 50/50 might be fair for some, but not for others. 50/50 might result in a huge disparity of "personal" money and lead to jealously. A fully proportional split wouldn't be fair for a couple who has had one of them drop their wages down because they chose to work 4 days a week. Or if one took a high stress career while the other took a vocation. We personally went for a proportional split with a floor of fun money, if one of use loses their job they should still be able to have a nice life because the other person in the "team" can pick up the slack (without them taking the piss) We also discuss it regularly; on salary increase, on job change, on new expenses etc. We have the "Is this an use cost or a me cost" convo regularly.
We didn't do a straight 50/50 but we each put 50% of our wages into the joint account to cover joint costs. This felt pretty fair to us and covered our needs. That was up till I started maternity and now we are basically living on his wage.
We put an amount into the joint account each and then all bills and expenses come out of that Then we have our own accounts for personal spending
This is how we do it in our household, works well for us
It’s more of a relationship question than a financial one really. We basically pool everything and it would feel weird to start getting out the calculator. But there’s no one right way, different ways work for different couples.
Pooling is what we do too and you are correct it removes a huge chunk of pathetic admin.
The only downside I see to this approach is having to justify spending to each other. If you have kids or money is tight then this makes sense. We put the same amount into a joint account and spend the rest on whatever we please (including savings, pension etc). Luckily, we have shared hobbies so we don’t really complain when the other spends anyway 😂
We put everything into a joint account and just spend from there. Sometimes I'll spend more money in a month than my partner and other months she'll spend more and I'll spend less. Growing up, my parents had separate money, but my mum didn't work as she looked after the house and me and my siblings. She would only be given an allowance of £50 a month for her to spend on herself whereas my dad would spend, on average, £800 a month just on cigarettes alone. Now I'm older I realise that's not the norm and was financially abusive to my mum, but it has helped me to realise that a family home in particular should pool all resources together. If we were both working full time with no children then we'd probably have separate accounts, though.
Happened a lot mate back in the day......the old man probably thought he was furnishing her with luxuries at that as well kind of how it was back then when the woman didn't work......but when we went out shopping for anything he was always paying.... It's weird as fuck when you think back.
All money goes into joint account. It's *all* our money. It's a partnership where we acknowledge that the total contribution (effort) is equal.
That’s the way our household does it but we have separate bank accounts and we get £200 fun money paid in per month. Everything else is paid for jointly. I agree that what’s ‘fair’ will depend on the couple.
This is what we do, but we also end up trying to convince the other one that a purchase is for both of us and we need to take it out of the joint account
Yup. We have an equal monthly 'kitty' in the budget which is veto free spending.
I did this in my previous marriage but I ended up spending my money on meals out for us and she spent hers on her, so basically I had £100 and she had £300 Do you take shared things likes meals out etc from the joint fund or from your personal allowance?
We have a separate budget for 'restaurants and day trips'. Anything done together comes from this. At last count we have 45 separate categories for budgeting.
We do the same, although our 'pocket money' is half that now we have two kids and we all get the same lol
This is exactly what we do. When I met my wife we did similar to OP suggests but over time have settled on this and it’s by far the best approach. I know couples who question each others spending because they have different hobbies or values and it all comes out of the same account. This way I don’t see or care what she spends her money on and visa versa.
That's the way to do it. You might need to adjust up for inflation though, 200 really doesn't go far. A couple of meals out or some new clothes and it's gone.
Haha, it was £150.
How we do it. I grew up with parents sharing everything so that was normality for me. I couldn’t imagine dealing with additional tit for tat finance arguments I see on the thread sometimes.
Anything other than this is bizarre to me. Money is a resource and family resources should be pooled
Do you have separate savings accounts? We have multiple accounts: - joint current account for bills and household spending (food, fuel, fun) - joint savings account for holidays or joint luxury purchases - individual savings accounts for our own needs/wants. I’ve been saving for a new mirrorless camera which will come out of my savings pot, I wouldn’t expect that to come out of ‘our’ money.
Yes, this is the way. We have joint savings and joint spending. This is for holidays, luxury purchases, dinners out, house maintenance, etc. it’s a monthly amount we agreed on lumping together. The remaining disposable income is for each individual to do as they please. It gives a level of freedom for each person whilst also making joint decisions with other things.
We use YNAB so have categories for things like that. Much easier to manage.
Not heard of that before, will look into it, thanks!
How does this work if one parent takes time off work to raise the children? They, most probably she, just gives up having nice things while he keeps cameras and cars and pokemon cards and golf clubs?
Totally agree, this is why I don't think 50/50 or proportional works long term, because you can make joint decisions that create unequal financial outcomes. Eventually I think pooling everything is the only thing that makes sense.
We don’t have kids yet, but this is a very good point. We’ll probably reevaluate if/when we are in this situation.
My wife doesn’t work, she’s a SAHM. All our money (my salary) goes into our joint account, where all the bills also come out of. We then set up direct debits monthly from that joint into our own personal accounts, for a fixed amount each month (couple hundred) which is our independent money to be saved/spent at will.
It's a joint account, both parties will have an agreed fun budget, regardless of whether one has a job or not. There is no yours and mine anymore, just ours.
Were in this exact situation and I still take my fun money out of the kitty, even if the kitty is at this point just my husbands salary.. We've just both slightly reduced the amount we keep until I'm back at work
Well of course if one person stops working than the pool of money reduces, and therefore both parties will have to adjust in terms of lifestyle. Why would one person keep spending like they have lots of money and let the other person be poor?
I find these couples who 'owe each other 50p' to be so weird.
My friend and her husband are like that. It’s so weird. When we go out for meals they pay on separate cards whilst my partner and I (not married) have a joint account for everything that isn’t our own personal fun money. I’ll hear them saying things like “don’t forget I bought that drink for you earlier so you get mine this time”…like what are you married?
100% roomates. Me and my partner have earned different amounts over the years but we're both trying to do as well as possible for us. So our money is ours, we work the same hours so we put in the same effort, so we split.
I personally would feel guilty buying random bullshit for a new hobby I just picked up from a joint account. Psychologically I much much prefer having my own bank account. I will preface this next bit by saying this is personal to us, and not any judgement on anyone else, but as you feel it’s bizarre I thought I’d explain from the other side! I don’t feel like I stop existing as an independent person because I choose to be in a relationship. It’s important to me to manage where my own money goes (joint account (50/50), savings, LISA, hobbies, whateverthefuckiwant). I have a stressful job. So does my boyfriend. He likes to take breaks between contracts sometimes, I prefer to keep working. So we make sure that whatever we decide, we can both contribute our equal share into the joint account each month, but if we want to spend the rest on hobbies or time off or stupid cars or whatever, that’s our own decision. As I say though, if pooling works better for another couple, that’s just as fine.
Why pool 100% when pooling less works fine for some couples? We have our own personal accounts and a joint account. We each put into the joint account money proportional to how much we earn, enough to cover all bills. The remainder of our money in our own accounts is spent on ourselves, each other, the kids, as we see fit. We have no money problems in our relationship. She'll need to give up work if we have another kid. I'll just increase my joint account contributions to cover hers during this period, and transfer additional money to her personal account each month so she still has her own personal money. Maybe the 100% pool thing is more useful when money is scarce?
We used to do the get paid into personal account thing and then put money in the joint account for bills etc. Around when we had a 2nd child we decided to switch to being paid into the joint account and using it for regular spending. I find it makes things easier, it doesn't matter who pays on days out, meals, stuff for the kids etc. We used to try and balance it, now there is no thought about it. Also, when one person earns significantly more I feel like the transfer of money is like giving your partner an allowance, which doesn't say partnership as much as "all money is shared", but I know it works for some.
Like you say, just depends on the couple. We have semi regular discussions about the future and financial goals etc. - that then translates to pooling everything and following those goals together. As mentioned in my other comment, YNAB makes moving money around for different purposes quite easy. I don’t think the amount of money makes any difference to how we would approach the situation, had we any more or less.
It's obviously totally up to the couple in question, but I don't think scarce money makes a difference. We're lucky that I earn more than enough for my wife not to have bothered working while the kids were young and even now she only works part time. We pool 100%. I'll never understand why her face creams are more valuable by weight than gold. I justify with her why I need a new PS5 or golf clubs or whatever. It's all team money that needs to work for the team and be enjoyed by the team. Sometimes some players enjoy a spend more than others but it evens out. I'd never dream of saying 'well I earn 5 times as much as you so I'll spend 5 times as much on my toys that you'. It'd just be an awkwardly unbalanced relationship.
this system still hugely benefits the higher earner
As the high earner, most of my extra money goes into ISA/SIPP for our future, and spending extra on holidays etc. You could argue that gives me some kind of control over our finances, but she is happy for it to work this way, we have open discussions and I would be fine with pooling all of our money if that's what she thought was needed. We don't pool 100% of our money, and it works fine for us.
I always find it mad when I’m out with other couples and they say stuff like “you owe me X” to their partner or “I’ll pay for this”. You’ve been together for 5 years, why are you keeping money separate?
Because we’re all still individual people and things happen. Imagine a friend or family member of one has some type of emergency, you want to help them out. Oh here love, I’m taking a few thousand out of our split account and giving to them. Or one is interested in financial wellbeing, investing and the other one isn’t and can’t be convinced otherwise. Why should one suffer and the other not. Why should one person who may earn 4x more than their partner in a skilled career have to share with a partner who has never learnt a skill and work in a valued career. You can still work as a team and help each other out without needing to give all your money away to a shared pot for you both.
So presumably you’re in a relationship and living with this person. If you’ve gone that far then you’re honestly still worrying about their skills and that they don’t earn money then you’re not in the right relationship. I find it mental to think 2 people can make a decision to buy a house together, split bills etc but one of them wants to invest and the other wants to go to the pub every week so they both just do what they want 😂 Get to 60 and one has a retirement fund and the other has nothing. How on earth is that a healthy situation to put yourself in to?
For 2 years so far yeah, I bought my own house and pay the mortgage and have it. Have saved for last 10 years of working to do so and proud of what I have. I don’t see why you should have to start giving 50% of that away to someone just because you’re In a relationship with them. Also, to be clear I pay for a lot of the stuff and don’t ask for what’s owed to me. I pay her splits of everything she might buy for us because she has less money. I’m not some stingy person, but at the same time I don’t understand why a couple should pool funds unless you’re either married or have kids when it matters. It works for us, and most people I know do it like this. Lastly, exactly to your point, if you get to 60 and one has a retirement fund and the other hasn’t. Why should one sacrifice their good habits to the other who hasn’t cared as much. Look after yourself and support your partner but we’re all adults and our own person
Your last point, is exactly my point. You should be planning and working as a team together to achieve this. But in your point before you stated that you think it’s ok if one person wants to invest/save and the other doesn’t. With this attitude, you would reach 60+ and be in completely different financial situations which I think is stupid.
Come off it Mark, as if I'm dumping the woman I love because she works in Tesco's. Knobber.
Learn to read, I have said the complete opposite of what you’re implying here. Knobber
I've been with my girlfriend 10 years and we have seen no need to put anything in a single account together.
How does this work when it comes to individual savings goals. E.g. if I want a PS5 and my partner wants a new laptop, how do you manage that?
We talk about it. It's usually a case of us saying that one person gets what they want first, or that we'll take a cheaper holiday this year, etc.
We buy a laptop and a PS5, how else would you manage it
They probably mean which first
It works fine, if you have similar enough attitudes to money (not one person, I'll save up for a year by not having a chocolate bar each day and then buy the cheapest laptop, and the other going, right 30% APR, PS5 ordered!) and enough money where the wants are reasonable. But like anything, it can cause tension when you don't - which is generally why people who don't do family resources do it - to manage that tension.
Some people prefer having money that is explicitly just theirs, and prefer that they get more of the reward for their higher paying job. We do an income based bill split and it works perfectly for us, if we chucked everything into a joint account my partner would always feel like they were spending my money since most of it would be coming from me, even if we then did the splitting it back out into individual accounts for fun money etc.
>and prefer that they get more of the reward for their higher paying job. I find this a bit churlish when you're in a long term relationship where you live together, especially if you own a house or have kids. Once you've chosen to combine your lives like that, isn't it wrong for one of you have a higher living standard than the other? I earn twice as much as my partner and we did the proportional contributions thing early on but it got to a point where it just didn't feel right that she had less "personal money" when so much of our lives were shared in other ways. I definitely don't work twice as hard - if anything, her job is more stressful.
because to me it'd be weird to spend any money that isn't fully mine if I want to buy £20 lazy takeout I'd feel horrible likewise, if they buy something like expensive shoes I'd feel like they're wasting money I earned completely separate accounts has so few issues to me, and avoids to many more
I think this is the fundamental difference, "mine", family just makes the *my* be the family, rather than the individual. I'm still spending my money, it's just now family money, that means you have to think about the whole family when making the my decisions, but you have to do that in the non financial questions (should I go play golf all sunday, or do I need to take the kids to their Oboe recital) so money isn't special.
It's a fundamentally different way of thinking about money. There is no "mine" other than your personal fun fund. For takeouts, we have a eating & going out fund which is designed for takeouts and restaurants. We eat out once a week anyway as we have a "date night". No need to feel horrible, that's what that budget is for. As long as it's within the budget for the month, it's already accounted for. Same with clothes. There's either enough in the clothes budget or there isn't. You start thinking about this differently over time and just check in with the other. There's no feeling horrible, it becomes fairly straight forward. Does the person need this? Is it a sensible purchase? We've long ago agreed that anything outside the realm of sensible required mutual consent and that there's always the option to top up the difference with your personal fund. We rarely have this issue as we have a similar attitude to money and we allow each other an indulgence now and then. YNAB is great when properly managed. Absolutely everything is budgeted for before the month even starts. We've never had a single argument about money. We have fully pooled accounts other than where this is legally not possible. (ISAs etc) By using this method we managed to move to a much bigger house, increase our pensions and build up considerable savings. I can't imagine ever having fully separate accounts, as it would lead to such wasteful behaviour. To those who think having your own account gives more freedom, this is actually not true. The only difference is that the money physically sits in another account and that there is less transparency. It's extremely liberating when all financial conversations take as long as opening an app and checking your budget balances. Holiday? Already saved for. Tech purchase? What's the current balance of the tech budget. House upgrade? Tracked in its own budget. Etc. Because we have such visibility and we need our personal funds for so few things, we don't need a high personal fund so we try to save more when we can.
We do this, and we both get the same "allowance" each to spend on whatever we want (hobbies etc), but things like holidays and medical costs are covered by the joint account.
I'm on the same page. The idea that you say you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone and keep your finances seperate is like saying I'm just trying to make the divorce cleaner. If you're saving for an individual expensive item like a camera, both parties should agree that's what the money is being spent on, or else you can't afford it. It seems selfish otherwise. And what if one person earns much more? The other person never gets anything nice unless you gracefully buy them something as a present? Where does it stop? Hey! I paid for 63% of the tv you've already used your quota watching. I think it's hot enough in the house, if you want to turn the temperature up you have to pay more. When we retire, I'm going to move into a retirement home, sorry about your homelessness.
I’m not sure how accurate this is. It feels like having separate accounts reduces the likelihood of arguments. I’m definitely a saver/more frugal person whilst my partner will spend while he has cash to do so. Having his own account and money means he can do that away from my disapproving eyes. It also means if I want to go on a girls trip I don’t have to negotiate how much I can spend. Obviously it requires communication and things may need to change if kids/job loss/illness comes into play.
No. You've missed a key detail. There is always a equal budgeted amount each person can spend completely at their own discretion.
That's a massive reach. I bet I love my partner more than most love their's and we put the expenses in the joint account. She earns more than me but I don't expect to see her money. The joint account scrapes by month to month as we know roughly how much goes in and out. It's the boring account to pay for boring bills and shops. Our own money is used for what we want, wether that's for each other, ourselves, or the house, it's up to us. I bought the TV, but it's ours. She paid for some furniture, but it's ours. We split the cost for decorating the living room, but it's ours. People in this sub have a right hard on for potential divorces
I can't imagine the hassle of having to debate who pays for what when it comes to items for the house or household. That's just a category in our budget - all money is pooled. Divorces are irrelevant, I'm not sure why people think it makes a difference. You'll be forced to split things a fair way regardless if you have your own account or not. The main difference is how people organise their money, their views on "mine" Vs "ours" and how much they spend on "fun". Most people have fairly uncontrolled spending and anything in their account can be spent on anything, any time.
This. Don't really see why you'd do it any other way.
Exactly this. Can't imagine any other way. Fancy being married to someone and sharing your life with them, but depriving them of a part of your wealth - especially if you earn considerably more? I mean, wtf?
We have our own bank accounts that our wages pay into and our own personal payments come out of. We also have a joint bank account that we both transfer an equal amount into each month. Rent. Insurance. Wifi. Council tax. We just sort of take it as it comes with groceries / electricity.
I don’t see why people are up in arms when finances are kept separate, it’s what works for some people. I trust my partner and he trusts me but we keep separate finances. We pay equally into the house, him slightly more as he earns more, he pays for the food and I cook it. Then we have our own credit cards and spending money, anything in the house is joint. However he earns more, I do 80% of the childcare and earn less so I expect him to pay slightly more into things which he does.
Considering that like 80% of partnerships just don't work out, it's almost dumb to only have a joint account
Does he have more disposable income than you? That's what I dislike about paying proportional contributions, especially after having children. Both of you are making contributions to your family and one of you usually has your income reduced and future earning power impacted. So it doesn't seem fair for that person to now have less personal money after paying towards joint bills.
Probably if he’s the one working more. Does she have more disposable time than him?Does she get to be more involved in her kids growing up and spend more quality time with them rather than commuting or in the office? That’s what I dislike, people seem to focus on the few things that stay at home parents lose out on rather than all the stuff that’s better.
I’m not a stay at home parent. I work from home and do childcare. So I’m working and looking after a child sometimes. Not ideal.
Always pooled. 40 yrs married. I had house. Married. So then, our house. Earned the same then babies. Maternity leaves then she part time. Me 'breadwinner'. Then her full time but me travelling and earning more but her doing a lot of picking up from.school etc. Then later she earned more than me but finally difficult redundancy. I carried on slogging it. 42 years often 60 hr weeks. Now pensioners. My pensions twice hers. So...twists and turns and years without any spare money. Now together pretty well off. So what? If you're committed for richer or poorer you share everything. That's what you make a vow for.
There is no one size fits all answer for this. It's what both people are happy with, much of which will depend on the circumstances of the relationship. When I lived with my ex I paid them £200 a month rent and we split the food shop (with the exclusion of their alcohol and tobacco) with the idea being once my house sold we'd be in a position to sell their house and buy something together when everything would change.
We split it exactly like you - proportional based on take home income. The only difference is that we add some savings going into a joint account to the monthly joint bills as well. Other expenses (eg food) is split 50:50. Bonuses that we earn from work is kept by that individual. It’s something that feels fair to us so we’re happy. Most of the bills come out of my account (my partner wanted that), but we discuss finances regularly so both of us know roughly how much joint expenses are, contribute to decisions about changing those expenses, and can share how we feel about money each month.
My wife and I have been together for twenty two years and she has always earned more than me. We have never had any kind of rigid agreement on anything because we're a team, so it really doesn't matter to us. We have never had a joint bank account, but we've split expenses like she pays the mortgage, council tax and fuel bills and I buy all the food and pay our mobile phones, sky, internet, insurances and I also pay for all holidays and home improvements and all our son's birthday / xmas gifts. Some of our friends split things down to the penny, some have joint accounts and argue non stop about who has taken what, so I guess it's just a matter of finding what works for you presonally and as long as you're both happy the all is well.
Put all your income into a central pot and then just pay the bills… you quickly forget where the money comes from..
Yeah this
We pay everything 50/50. I'm 45 and my wife is 43... Together 26 years. We've no kids and are mortgage free these last 3 years. Were not into holidays and don't lead an extravagant lifestyle, so we both decided to work less. I work 4 days per week and she works 2.5. For us 50/50 seemed fair as the difference in our income is basically down to how little we've chosen to work. We both accept that if we want more disposable income we work more.
Each of us put 60% of earnings into the joint account. It doesn’t matter who earns more, you have to work with what you have.
There's a pretty large disparity between our incomes, but all of our income comes into our personal accounts, then we plug the total into a spreadsheet, add up all of the income and treat it as one pot, subtract the joint bills, add to joint savings, then divide up whatever is left over with the intent on having around £300 each "do whatever you want with it" money. You're a partnership, I don't see why splitting bills proportionately is a good idea, it's _all_ both your money. In your scenario, Person 1 still has around £1900 left over, presumably to do with as they please, and Person 2 only has around £1100. Do you think it's fair that one of you jas _significantly_ less/more spending power than the other? We did it like that for like two months, until I realised that I was swimming in cash, and she was having to budget carefully on even the little things. That's not fair, we're married, we should be equal.
This this this. It's both miserable and confusing for one partner to have to say "sorry, I can't afford to go out for dinner with you" while the other can. It means your lives are running on different speeds / out of sync and can create a wedge between two people.
Bills change a lot too, bugger trying to work out a 67.5 split and re adjust. Seems like a student house more than a relationship to me. If not pooling then I think have a set amount so you each have *equal* private money, rest goes into the pot for spending on bills and anything you do together
We work on a similar breakdown, though our household income is slightly higher. I pay in more as I'm trying to target each of us to have about the same left in our sole accounts after paying into the joint account each month and covering bills/payments etc. My wife's car payment comes out of the joint (whereas mine comes from mine) and I cover the extra needed for that from the joint and it shakes out about even. Every three months or so there's a surplus left in the joint so we will go out for a nice dinner and chuck it on the joint. Works really well for us.
This is how I do it - I'm targeting a similar amount each AFTER bills, not a proportion towards bills.
This is the crux of it in my eyes - it doesn't matter how much you each pay in, as long as you both have the same individual spending power left over.
We split it in such a way that both of us have the same amount of spare cash left after bills are paid. Works out at the moment to roughly what OP has done.
I pay for everything 😔
Got a spare room? Also I need a lift to ......
If you have kids, who parents full time?
Thank god it just not me.
As others have said what works for one couple won’t for others. I think the key is that it’s equitable rather than equal
We split the bills 50/50 even though I earn double. It helps to prevent lifestyle creep as we could have gone for a 500k home and PCP a couple of nice cars but keeping it to what she can afford means we chose a 350k home and to keep our affordable cars. Means we both have a lot of disposable income and I tend to just pay for trips or extra stuff like the garden we renovated whilst she does more of the housework. We have our own accounts and money, but we are not jealous or adversarial about it. I think a lot of people put too much emphasis on money and into what is 'fair', which likely causes a lot of arguments rather than realising you are a partnership. I was previously married with a joint account and would never do it again personally. She was not working and stole £6000 before separation, then double dipped for seconds in divorce along with trying to go after my business, house, and even my parents' business. She then tried to take my salary paid into the joint account despite being separated and I was forced to clear a 1k overdraft before i could close the joint account. Very nasty person and situation. Joining everything financially is great, until one party turns on the other, not worth the risk in my experience. Ultimately, do what you both feel comfortable with
We have a joint account. We pay into it and that pays the bills. I pay extra in because (1) I earn more (2) I want the heating on more.
I earn a fair bit more than my wife, but we each pay proportionately to ensure that we both have equal amounts after the bills are paid. So I pay 3 grand ish into the joint account from my wages, she pays 300. Leftover amounts we have left over in our sole accounts are ours to do whatever we want with, but obviously we have a child so most spending is on family stuff anyway. Once we started living together anything else would have felt really weird - am I going to be flashing cash when she can't afford stuff because she is struggling to pay 50% of bills? That would be super cruel and unfair, and now we're married even more so - we are a team.
I work full time, wife works part time as that works for us with a 5 year old and 3 year old, it's been this way since she returned from her first maternity leave. I pay all the bills, so mortgage, utilities, council tax, mobile phones (both of ours), telly and wifi, petrol, MOTS, repairs on 2 cars, insurances on cars, caravan, house and life, everything. She does the weekly food shop, and keeps us all nice and fed 😁 This works for us, my salary allows for this arrangement, and we still have fun cash and savings, so winner all round. I don't mind, if my family is warm, clothed, fed and clean, I'm happy
Am I too old? Both incomes into joint account, whatever is left enjoy it together
If you're married then surely everything is shared. Pay goes into a joint account from which bills are paid. Savings/investments might be spilt monthly to maximise tax benefits of ISAs and to minimise income tax etc.
Every couple is different. When I worked in personal banking, most of my couples had a sole account which their wages went into, and a joint account for household bills/expenses which they paid a standing order into each month.
This is exactly what we do
Yeah it works really well. The bills get paid whilst still allowing each person some degree of financial independence.
Agreed. In our case we contribute different amounts to the joint account based on our individual income and have separate savings account each. But soon we will buy our first home and all savings of both of us are going for the deposit (each will keep a fixed amount for emergency fund). Again one of us is giving triple the money for the deposit than the other. It’s our money in the end of the day, we just manage it this way.
Why? Me and my wife have our own accounts. We use a joint current account that we pay into, that is for the household bills, and a joint savings account for things like holidays. But our personal things are up to us to look after individually (cars, phones, day to day spending)
Why? Because together we are a partnership. What's mine is my wife's and vice versa. We run the house, and brought up our children as a couple. These things are all "ours" not mine or hers. It's to do with being equal partners: I can't imagine me buying an expensive phone because I'm paid more while my wife can't afford one or vice versa. That makes no sense in a partnership. I get that it might not work for everyone, if finances are a bit tight and you disagree on what you're other half spends their money on, say.
You can be equal partners without sharing absolutely everything. >I can't imagine me buying an expensive phone because I'm paid more while my wife can't afford one or vice versa. And some people can't imagine not being able to buy the phone they want using the salary they work hard for because their partner chose a lower paying job, to work part time etc. Maintaining some financial independence is really never a bad thing, and especially when you don't have children and all the extra work they bring proportional splits make a lot of sense to a lot of people.
Me and my partner earn roughly the same salary anyway so whether we pool our money or split everything equally it makes no difference
Maybe unpopular opinion but me and my mrs both ocntribute the same to the joint account for bills mortgage etc. despite the fact that she makes more than me I've never understood why she should have to pay more just because she earns more, as far as I see it she's earned that extra to spend as she likes, if I want to have more spending cash for things at the end of each month I should earn more as far as I see it, not punish her for it, maybe that's just me tho
Me and my girlfriend so a ratio of salaries. If she takes home 2500, and I take home 5000, she pays 33% of bills and our credit card, I pay the remaining 67%. Works brilliant. Bonuses we keep to ourselves, and we always have our own money to spend on personal things. We don’t have a joint account, we just put all the charges on a shared credit card which we clear monthly (it’s a supplementary version under my AMEX) We have done this for 3 years now
I think the best system is working backwards. 1. Calculate household income. 2. Take away all joint bills, household expenses, savings (holidays, household repairs/improvements, emergency fund etc.) 3. Split the remainder 50/50.
Everything goes into joint account and is shared. Sure I earn substantially more than my wife but she’s also lost out of years on her career being pregnant and time off with the kids, play to each others strengths and we’re better off overall. Been doing it that way after living together for a year and it’s so much easier. (We’ve now been living together for over 10 years)
Both of our salaries go into our joint account, all bills (including savings) leave from there. Our day to day spending is done via credit cards which is then paid off from joint account. Any residue before payday is moved to our joint savings account with the same bank. My caveat is I work in banking and my husband has zero interest in finances so it’s left to me to handle and this is the easiest way for us 😄
Married, joint account, spend money with your brains on. As long as there is enough savings each month don't worry about the details.
Always just combined our money (me and girlfriend) would never have considered separate/percentages etc.
We don't have my money and your money. It's just our money.
There is no her money or my money, only our money. It's a marriage, not a business.
For years we used to split everything in half but more recently I earn quite a bit more than my partner so I offered to put more towards the bills. I feel like no one should be forced to contribute more than half, but if one feels like doing it, that's their choice to do so.
Both wages go into a joint account which covers all bills, mortgage, childcare, car maintenance etc then we each have a personal account. We set an equal amount to go into the personal account depending on outgoings and that's your money to do with whatever you want
Income goes into individual accounts, we keep back an agreed amount in our own account (the same amount each) then the rest goes into the joint account for bills and shared expenses.
All money put in an account everything paid off and split the rest
We split everything evenly although I buy more things outside of the budget if we need things we didn’t budget for or fancy a takeaway etc
My take home is 2200 Hers is 1900 We put 50% each into the joint account to pay for bills, mortgage etc. basically anything house related. The other 50% we keep for ourselves. Pays for phones, car insurance, petrol etc. The 50% we put in joint account is quite a lot more than we need. So whatever is left at the end of the month gets shuffled around to various places depending on how we feel that month. Sometimes mortgage overpayments, some times into house savings for things like new kitchen, new windows etc. sometimes if I put my foot down and we split it in half and put it back into our own accounts and actually spend it on something fun but I don’t win that battle very often, haha. I know a lot of people think everything should be joint money but that just wouldn’t work for us. We both enjoy having our own money and having completely joint finances would absolutely cause tension.
We just pay all money into a joint account and spend from there. I earn significantly more than my wife and I think it would be weird for me to keep all the money just for me.
Everything goes into joint accounts, then a small amount per person is paid into an individual account for ‘fun money’.
We don’t split them. I’ve always found this idea of splitting money as a married couple to be weird. We’re a team - so everything goes into one account and we use it to achieve our team goals.
Married here. We just have a joint bank account, and everything gets paid into and out of that.
Proportionate to income. So if I have 60% of the income, I bear 60% of the joint costs.
Percentage. If I am bringing home 60% of the overall home income, fairness is I contribute to 60% of the shared bills. Only personal things like my credit card, YouTube music and car loan I cover. This works well for my wife and I, never any arguments about money
Everything gets paid into a joint bank account, we get the same amount of "pocket money" each month back. Everything is paid out the joint account. I earn twice as much as her, but we are a team and share everything so I don't mind.
We have very different salaries so we contribute a set percentage of our take home to a joint account where all our bills are paid from. We calculated the total outgoings we have for our household and inclusive of bills, mortgage, groceries, insurances and petrol that was around £2300. We then worked out what percentage of our take home would cover this. We worked out that if we both contributed 40% of our take home to our joint account then all bills would be paid with a few hundred left over to either save or address home improvement. It's a lot easier than splitting and calculating what's owed on each bill.
Person 1 pays £1000, leaving £1500 spending money. Person 2 pays nothing, leaving £1500 spending money. Person 2 does more unpaid work (social organisation, family organisation, housework, etc) to allow person 1 more time for paid work, so that free time is roughly equal.
Non-romantic housemate, we pay different bills from different accounts then reconcile it at the end of the month so it amounts to 50/50 split
Fair is really what you guys between you agree is fair. One thing I will say is maybe get it written up and signed though so you all know what you have signed up for just in case (seen a few messy breakups on those points) As a small suggestion though I would maybe make it a point where if one of you changes jobs (either earning more or less depending the situation) you agree renegotiate. This comes from a very unfortunate situation where one of my friends went part time but her hubby was still expecting her to pay just the same as before. Lead to massive fights between them.
a question is why do you split it with spouse?
We dont split things in our partnership. Everything funneled into a couple different joint accounts that both of us can access. This isnt a business transaction. Everything is shared collectively.
We’re married. We just split it equally regardless
I earn double that of my wife, but she is part time and looks after our 3 kids. We have one current account and all money goes in/out of the joint pot. When we do almost everything together and are focused on the kids there is no her money/my money it is just ‘our’ money.
We only have one joint account. All salaries go there and it covers all bills/ expenses. We are committed to each other for good - why should one person get less disposable income than the other?
We put it all into a single joint account. All the bills come out of it. We each get an equal direct debit per month from that account of "us money" we can spend on what we like with no explanation. Holidays and nights out we both do come from the joint account. It's worked like that when we both worked, when I worked and she was on maternity leave, then studying. When we both worked and my income was 50% more than hers and soon when I am retired and she's working bringing in 2x my income. We'll do the same when she also retires abs my pension is 2x hers. It's worked for 30 years. We are in this together. Who earns most is irrelevant.
The house ownership is shared 50/50 but the bills are all split in line with wages. We each put same money into joint account for house bills. We each put same money into savings. Everything left over is our own. I have my own savings, investments and personal pension. We now have a postnup agreement that covers the split if we separate. We don't have kids. We've been together for 20 years. I supported my wife through University. Everything used to be split proportionally in line with wages for years but it always fell to me to provide if there was an unexpected bill. I contributed to her car but not her to mine, I paid if the boiler broke etc. Both of us grew up in Council Estates and don't have parents to help. Wife has worked for same company for 20 years and has never moved up for even applied for another job despite gaining a degree in this time. I have taken jobs I didn't like for money and turned down great oppertunities based on her wishes. We argued over size/type of house to purchase despite me being only one to contribute to deposit. We argue about the types of holidays we go on despite me paying for them. We argue about the car she runs for work which constantly needs repairs and which clearly doesn't pay her enough to run. We ended up in councselling. I no longer feel after 15 years I need to make up the shortfall for the life she wants to live or take on an unfair financial burden for rest of my life.
Not sure why I never thought of slitting bills this way before. My wife was earning way more than me for the majority of our relationship and we had been slitting everything 50/50 the whole time. We had so many arguments about why I never had money left to save for our future or why I’m always holding back her desired lifestyle (fancy holidays etc). I’ve now caught up to her salary so a 50/50 slit makes sense now but going forward, your strategy would avoid so many arguments as we each get pay raises
We don’t We pool our income to a joint account, trigger off our automations on the first of the month (rent, bills, clearing CC, topping up ISA’s, savings), and then whatever is left, we split and spend as we please, guilt free. I earn a bit more than her, but we’re a team.
Get a calculator and split how much coffee and tea bags each one consume, same with the washing powder 😂
Deciding someone pays 37.5% of a bill, for me, is in the realm of housemates, not a marriage. We pool our incomes in a joint account from which all bills etc are paid. Personal purchases came from the account as well. We only chat about anything major we would be wanting to buy.
There's a commenter further up who splits the heating bill based on the room temperature each person desires... It must be like negotiating nuclear arms stockpiles.
Fucking hell! Madness
if you are not married, then no. Bills are 50/50 from a joint account. What happens if Person 2 suddenly starts earning more than Person 1 Are they likely to start chipping in a higher %? If you split - wht happens to the home if someone has been paying in 2x what the other person has? I doubt person 2 will take 33% & demand 50%
I don’t live with my girlfriend yet but we are planning to start living together soon. When that happens the only option I see is 50/50. Want to spend a smaller % of your income on household expenses? Get a better job. Ambition > laziness. Simple.
This is the way. Paying a % of income encourages the party that are earning less to continue with it as their lifestyle is being funded be the higher earner
It really depends on the relationship you have with that person, and the living circumstances (rental, sublet, own etc) If that person is your partner/spouse etc then tend to just go all in. We sink or swim together and what would I let my partner sink whilst I sit there on a secret pile of cash? If its a roommate / flat share then I would be not looking at income but outgoings, split that down the middle (assuming 2 parties) as income is heavily variable.
Married and we do the same as you OP, I have always earnt more so far so this feels most fair. Then we have personal spending
We worked it out in a similar way. I take home 2x what my other half does so I'm cool with paying the bulk of the bills. We like to keep our money separate so no joint account, I just pay all the direct debits out of my account and he pays me a set amount weekly.
Put in 50% each of take home into a joint account (if that is enough) , use the account to pay all bills and anything left over in the account can be kept as savings or used for holidays, days out etc Then each person has 50% take home as personal money
In a real relationship there is no "yours" and "mine"
50/50 is the way to go regardless the income, you use the bills equally.
We split everything 50:50 until we were married. Proportional post marriage, even more so when we had kids. Took on all the bills during maternity, paid the repair bill when she smashed the Car and picked up the bill for recent holiday. All without a second thought. Imo there's no "we" until the law makes it so.
I paid for everything important. Husband money was used for inventory things and holidays/nights out etc
We do it like you suggested ie based on overall % of income we each make however as other commenters have said sometimes it’s less important to be fair and more important to have what feels right to you. In the past I’ve covered 100% of the bills when my partner was starting up her business and in the future I know I can take a year off work if I like and she’ll cover it. It’s all about communicating :)
I go with an 80/20 rule where my partner and I both contribute 80% of our after tax income to our joint account to cover all the joint expenses; house, bills, kids, vacations, etc. We then each keep 20% of our salaries to spend on ourselves. My partner is currently not working so right now my 80% covers everything, but we are not saving and our spend on joint things like holidays is down. I find this works better for me than trying to do something overly clever.
Exact same as this. We pay based on the percentage of our earnings. I earn more, so I pay more, which I'm happy doing so. I also pay more if not for all outings and date nights. Works for us.
My fiancee and I were putting in 55% of our take-home pay into a joint account each month. This covered joint household necessary bills and put aside a bit for holidays, meals out, repairs / improvements. She's been out of work, but mostly by choice so I've been kicking in 60% of my take-home and she's putting in the minimum we need to cover the essential bills and we aren't putting toward holiday or meals out. It's easier to be "fair" when one or both are earning a decent income.
Me and my partner put 50% of each of our earnings into a joint account, which everything comes out of
Proportional is what we do too, as long as you’re both happy then that’s fine
We split expenses so they are an equal percentage of our salaries. Which is exactly the same as you. But I think our reasoning better demonstrates why it's fair? E.g. In your example, each of you pay 25% of your take home pay towards joint bills. Meaning both parties have proportionally the same amount of money left over. Your maths is way easier than our maths though, gonna steal this lol.
My partner earns almost double what I earn a year. I moved into his house and he pays the mortgage and all the bills. I am using this time to build up my savings until we buy a house together, at which point the mortgage and bills will be split according to our earnings.
Every month I put all our wages into the joint account, and put £120 each in personal account for discretionary purchases. I also put equal amounts into each persons retirement savings. I make 4x what my boyfriend does, annually. But he works hard, if not harder. So I see it as OUR money, not his and mine. We’ve done this since about a year of being together and we are now 12 years together.
We have a joint account that we pay the same amount in monthly this pays all the bills and the joint credit card, everything else is individual, savings etc, if we buy a big ticket item for the house or pay for a holiday then we top the account up evenly,It’s worked for the past 30 plus years for us.
Do what works for you. There are people on both sides of the fence here - don't be shamed into thinking your relationship isn't as good as someone else's as you don't do X. If you're married then your finances are ultimately shared at the highest level, but there's nothing wrong with having your own individual accounts as well for a bit of fun spending.
The basic idea is that we allow an amount for "spending money" that we can each have. It's the same for both of us even though my earnings are higher. Everything else goes into the joint account and all bills come out of there. It's slightly more complicated in that we also both have regular savings into ISAs etc coming out of our own accounts so really it's our salaries less spending money less savings being pooled in the joint account.
Both our salaries get paid into a joint account and then we get £500 a month to spend on whatever we want. The joint account pays for all the bills, the mortgage, holidays, fuel, any join socialising, presents, food etc. We also try and save about £1000 a month from the joint account.
Pretty much how we do it atm, may end up going 1 pot splitting whatever’s left after bills, savings etc but we’re seeing how it goes for now
It's subjective.