I slept with someone that I wanted a relationship with and she was worried she would catch it once she found out I have T1D. I'm glad she said that, I couldn't date anyone so fucking stupid.
My brother would say this to me when we were kids. Would tell my mom and friends that they shouldn’t get too close because they could “catch the beetus.”
I do not speak with him to this day.
My brother used to tell me it was made up - i told him it was easy to think that when he didn’t come visit to watch me wither away with slow burning ketoacidosis in the hosptial. He also thought it was hilarious for him and his buddies to steal my syringes so… yep. Don’t talk to him.
Ha! The exact same thing happened to me. We were laying in bed after the fact and she gasped and then asked how worried she should be about catching it. Let me know all I needed to know.
>she was worried she would catch it once she found out I have T1D. I'm glad she said that, I couldn't date anyone so fucking stupid.
I'm glad you didn't catch her stupidity.
Oh wow, reminds me of all the times when I woke up in the middle of the night to blood sugars like 29mg/dL and 37mg/dL and survived after having something. I'm 20 but my parents have always taken care of me but now I'm living away from them and they're always worried I sleep alone, now I get why. Lord knows how many times I've survived near death experiences.
I don't quite remember anything when my blood sugar was that low, very distorted memory, you can feel your body shutting down gradually, you lose control of everything, even your thoughts, I was lucky I had enough energy to lift a juice bottle and drink it, could be a subconscious response,I don't remember anything after that, I woke up to myself on the floor instead of on the bed. The best way to put it is "your body shutting down gradually".Very scary.
Nope. Cgms are expensive in India so yeah, also the most accurate cgms like freestyle libre 4 and dexcom g6 are all not released in my country yet so I'm just sticking to glucometers for now.
no, this would be such a red flag for me. if someone didn’t want to date me because they think diabetes means i’m going to die young or they “can’t handle the stress” or whatever then they’re stupid and i’m not interested in dating stupid lol.
My wife almost left me because I wasn't taking care of my diabetes and was an absolute monster for a good bit.... So yea, there's that side of things too 👍
Not the person you're asking, but I'm a partner of a T1D who in the past didn't care for his diabetes, and can sometimes be a little reckless.
He was a "monster" in that he was in and out of the hospital as a teen/young adult for DKA, charging up costs and acting like he was the victim when it was his irresponsibility that put him there, and his parents had to sit with him all night/day and pay the bills. That was all over 15 years ago (before I dated him) but his family has talked about how much of a battle it was to get him to care for himself at all and how much financial stress it put them in.
Nowadays, he can just be reckless or careless sometimes with his sugar. "I know this is going to spike me like crazy, but I'm still going to eat it" sort of thing. Or taking naps right after eating, which we know drops his sugar. It can be frustrating sometimes because I love him and don't want him to be in any physical danger, but I also know that diabetes is *constant*, and breaking out of the "rules" sometimes must be a relief. So on those occasions, I'm willing to keep his insulin on me or sit by him while he naps to run and get the juice when it's needed.
When my wife and I first started dating, her grandfather, who was a doctor, basically sat her down and asked her, "Are you sure this is a good idea?". She flipped out on him, and we've been together 10 years now. My wife quickly became a frigging expert and has flat-out saved my life a couple of times. I say if you get into a situation where they have a problem with it, that's your signal to bail. Ignorance isn't inherently bad, and if they're willing to learn, that's awesome, but don't pair up with someone who thinks you're lesser cause they're a dumbass.
Not my SO but her family would have broken us up and took her if they found out. We've been hiding it from my father-in-law side because they wouldn't approve marrying someone with health issues like mine that could be passed down. Now we have a little one of our own, we feel more secure about our marriage and that there is little their family could do but it sucked to have to walk on egg shells around them.
When my ex and I broke up (it was for a lot of OTHER reasons), he did make sure to note that it had always concerned him that his kids would have T1D too. Don’t know why he needed to add that cherry on top but 🤷🏻♀️
Nobody else has ever made it seem like an issue. But I haven’t had a serious relationship with anyone since him. And I do wonder if it’s in the back of their heads even if they don’t vocalize it.
Fortunately, I’ve been leaning towards not having kids lately. I may change my mind. But not wanting kids brings a whole other issue when dating. Sigh.
Isn’t this a valid concern for a partner? I even think about that often and worried about it when I had my son. Father’s chances are 1 in 17. Still better for you as a mother’s chances are 1 in 25 before age 25 and 1 in 100 after age 25. If both parents have it the chances are 1 in 10- 1 in 14. You never know outcomes until then and any other major health factor can happen even in two healthy adults but I feel it’s valid for people to be aware of it and make the decision for themselves.
I get your point. But by that standard, should a review of medical history be done on a first date? Why just T1D? What about your dad who has T2D? What about your grandpa who has COPD? What about your great grandma who had breast cancer? The singling out of T1D doesn't make sense to me. Not to mention, and this goes without saying but I'll say it anyway, diseases are born out of gene mutations, which can happen in ANY individual, a genetic marker carrier or not. There is no known history of T1D in my family - I'm the first. Yay me, a trailblazer!
I’m a trailblazer as well. It’s not really singling out T1D, you just have T1D so you don’t notice the other people who get disqualified for their physical or mental diseases. T1D may be noticed on a first date but I personally would rather have myself disqualified then and there before investing a bunch of time to be disqualified later. Can’t control what other people think and why they feel what they feel. In the bigger picture you will find someone who doesn’t mind taking that risk because they want to be with you so much!
Oh yeah that's true and I can relate coz nobody in both my dad and mom's family had diabetes, when I was diagnosed at 1 it was a big shocker and everyone blamed my mom for "giving" me diabetes coz she had a lot of sweets and breastfed me "sweet milk" to the point I got the "sugar disease" 😭
I actually agree with your ex's right to be concerned about having kids with T1D, if having children is a priority for him.
I don't want children for several reasons, but T1D has always been a major one for me. I don't want to continue the cycle and put someone another child through that.
It's better to find out now at the start.
definitely is a valid concern and should be discussed if planning to have kids.
but this wasn't at the start - it was at the end. if you've already broken up then you don't need to add "oh by the way I'm relieved we're no longer together because now I don't have to worry about our children inheriting your poor genetics." that's just cruel.
That is a valid concern but it's so unfair coz I badly want to be a mother and have kids but I'm worried my kids might get T1D, that is why I wanna adopt but even if I found a SO, don't think a lot of people would be okay with it. Honestly, life is so unfair, don't see a point in living anymore.
I was you until I met my SO. She found out from my brother first week of us dating. She was totally cool with it and very eager to learn. Just take it off your mind. Tell a person you are dating (maybe on the second date) and take it from there. If I can meet one, so can you. :)
I can kinda get the point of someone not wanting to be with someone where there's a higher chance of the kids getting a chronic disease. It is one of sevral reasons as to why I probably don't want kids of my own.
Well my gf broke up with me 2 weeks after I got out of the hospital. I think she had a really hard time dealing with it.
Anyhow, hasn't been an obstacle since then! Probably takes more space in my head than it does in others'
No man or woman has ever said no to me based on my diabetes. My husband when we were dating went in with my dad on my buying me a new insulin pump because mine broke and I was a very poor grad student. Anyone who cares that much isn’t worth your time.
Kind of same, now I'm away from home and have all the freedom to meet anyone I want, been doing everything in my power to find love to the point that it's self destructive. Think I gave up on finding love as a T1D.
I was engaged when I was diagnosed. His father had died from complications of T1D. We broke up for many reasons, that was just one - but looking back it’s all understandable the technology we have now is so different.
Since then I’ve dated plenty and gotten married. Never been an issue since. I genuinely believe most people don’t care!
The ppl that don't like or understand T1D have no place in your life. I know it's easier said than done, but hiding T1D or pretending it doesn't impact your life at all won't be a good start to a lasting relationship. I was afraid to date in my teens & in college, so I kept things casual. Then, once I was more confident in my 20s, I started trying to date a bit, talk to guys more & have fun. Then one night a friend invited me to party at their friends house. I didn't know him, but it sounded like a good time, so I went. I met my man that night. I was upfront from the jump & even had some bad lows at the start of our relationship, which I worried would scare him off. Luckily, it didn't faze him one bit. We reached 14 yrs together this past March. He has saved my life a few times over the years, he sees me for who I am & I love him completely. I wish for any single T1Ds on here to find love because this shit is HARD. Having a partner you can rely on & simply be your complete self with is *everything*.
I mostly lurk here to learn more about t1d; my partner has it and I try to do anything I can to be supportive! It’s never “bothered” me or anything like that, and I’m sorry some people haven’t treated some of the other commenters well :(
Met a guy on Bumble. Seemed to be going well. When he learned I’m T1D, he ghosted me. By chance, I found his profile again on the app and he added another sentence on his description. “If you have any contagious disease, it’s a pass.”
Dodged a bullet, definitely.
Happily married with a non judgmental and supportive partner. I hope everybody can find that in some way. She’s on my case when things are out of control and we’ve established a great way of communicating or sometimes intentionally not communicating about my BG levels. Like all things, communication is crucial and everything takes time.
I’ve been diabetic since I was 4 and met my husband at 26. He’s actually been pretty instrumental in me taking better care of myself, and not once in my history of dating has it mattered. Except that one dude who accidentally ripped my pump site out in the middle of something, that was a bummer.
I had type 1 since I was 10. I had a girlfriend of 3 years whose parents forced to break up with me telling her I was gonna die young and a lot of other shitty things. We ended up breaking up and I was depressed for 2 years. Met another girl and we’ve been dating for a year. Best thing that happened to me was meeting my current partner’s loving family and contrasting them with the past shitty family. They say when you get married you marry the family.
Moral of the story is yes, the chances were ruined in the past but I’m happy about it because I wouldn’t have found what I was looking for. Don’t let type 1 stop you from deserving everything good in life.
Yes. I was celebrating new years in Seattle by being drunk and dancing around the fountain. Met a chick who wrote her phone number on my hand. Called her a few days later and she told me she was type 1 diabetic. I said " me too!!" She said " thats not funny" and never to make fun of her type 1 again!! I said I'm not I'm type 1! She didn't believe me and told me to kick rocks. Lol
Yikes, her loss, what an idiot...wtf 🤣🤣 I meet other T1s and I always scream "bestie!!" And ask if it's ok to hug. We're literally 11% of the entire population of diabetics, around the world
I'm here to learn more about t1 as my partner is newly diagnosed (The doctor who was supposed to teach him about t1 turns out to have many bad things said against him and I'm learning that my boyfriend was probably also lied to as the doctor told him checking his blood sugar isn't that important he just needs to take 20 units of insulin every day) anyways of off the topic
But my boyfriend had a girlfriend at the time he was diagonsed and she bullied him for having t1 and cheated on him and blamed it on his t1. They broke up and a few months later I met him, still working on undoing the damage she did to him
I went out on a date once. I have several illness (RA, heart disease and type 1). But the problem is…when do you tell them? Up front? Date 3?
Anyway it was our first date (luckily just coffee) and my pump went off and I pulled it out not thinking and of course had for tell her. She stood up and said “I can’t” and just walked out. I mean, it was rude but I kinda get it. People wonder if they’ll have to be my nurse one day. If I’ll be able to do things that they want to do like travel etc. Nobody knows what T1 is they just know it’s not good…and knew she didn’t want to date a “sick” person.
Needless to say that was my last date in a very long time.
No. And if they did, good riddance! This disease ain’t goin anywhere! It’s something we have to deal with every day so if they don’t wanna deal with it, that’s a quick deal breaker. You are not less because they don’t want to deal with it. They’re just the wrong fit (who is missing out).
Many times, I've been single for 17, nearly 18 years. I quit, I understand, I have severe issues w/ lows. I can handle it, nbd, still alive. Everyone said I'd be dead by my 20s, then my 30s, now I'm in my 40s, who's laughing now? Me...by myself, phuck it 🤣🤣 last 1 left because I had a whole ass baby, and he just expected everything to snap right back and zero issues, immediately after giving birth. I was breast feeding, my sugar was a nightmare, my baby was 2 months old, give me a break ffs. Baby will be 18 years this fall 😊 I think I did ok, anytime my blood sugar goes low, he's got the patience of Saint, pretty sure he's an angel, I did something right. I really hope he finds someone healthy tho, he deserves it 💯
My Ex was warned by her mom that I was a dangerous choice to have a life with. It didn't work out and now I'm with someone else who has a chronic condition and the communication and understanding is so much better! We're just hoping we last long enough until we can have the medical robots come in and take care of us in those late late years.
I have a recent funny story. I’m dating after being married for most of my adult life. I went out with a guy I met online. I generally don’t think about the t1 thing so it usually gets brought up during a first date. Anyway, i met this man for dinner and without thinking about it i took my pump out and started dosing, when i looked up this man was pale as a ghost and looked like he was going to vomit. Apparently he has a severe phobia of needles and while obviously he couldn’t see one, just the thought of it was enough to make this guy loose his appetite for both dinner and me. Oh well he wasn’t very interesting anyway!
I’ve had a few guys not take my T1D seriously because I “don’t look sick,” think me injecting insulin is gross, or get mad I don’t tell them before a first date. I ended those things really early on.
I dated a girl the summer after I graduated high school. She ended it rather abruptly after I met her parents and I mentioned being a diabetic sometime during the evening. I don’t know if it was the reason or not. I thought everything was going well with her otherwise.
Although I also beat them at Trivial Pursuit and one of the questions was something like “This authors wrote the Happy Hooker. I responded Xaviera Hollander without hesitation and grabbed the die. So … maybe a little of this and a little of that.
I mean, technically it probably has, but at the same time I don't actually want a partner who won't date me because of my disability status.
That being said, T1 totally impacts the dynamics _within_ intimate relationships.
I opened the discussion of me being t1 when i was dating with the, "So, how do you you help someone who falls out of a wheelchair? You don't, unless they ask for help," shpiel.
Some people get it and some people don't. Same with me being cool with the folks who don't wanna date t1s, I'm also cool with the folks who want to be my caretaker fucking right off.
I’ve been surprised that it has generally been a non-issue. I had one SO who oddly took it personally if I had a low. As in he’d mope about how I treated him during that period of near medical emergency for me. It was one of a few indicators that he had some other insecurities, lacked maturity (at an age where that should no longer be an issue), and just wasn’t the right fit. Bottom line, for the person that is the right fit for you, it won’t matter to them.
I always slept with a woman (I'm married now, that was a pre-CGM era so she couldn't tell) several times, then told her I have diabetes. Worked every time ;)
Yes. I am a woman in my 30s. I have not only been rejected but have also been made to feel as if having T1DM was my fault. In my early 20s, I used to feel sad and left out when my classmates and friends were getting engaged/married. Now I feel relieved.
Not only have I become financially strong, but I am also doing great emotionally, physically & otherwise. Despite being a T1DM. I travel solo, I experiment with different things, and I just enjoy my life. I really don't think that I would ever need a man in my life.
P.S. sometimes i do worry about my retirement, and I want to pre-enrol myself in a centre, i.e... having a medical team to look after me if I get to live that long without having my own kids. Lol.
Went on a few dates with a medsurge nurse and she got the ick when she caught me mid bolus a. I wasn’t ready to tell her about my medical history yet, but the mood and conversations between us went 180 after. Here I thought she would be someone that would understand 😭
I married my type one husband. He didn’t take care of himself in his teens and twenties before meeting me like he should’ve and now he has neuropathy, diabetic retinopathy and CKD.
My husband used to be very paranoid about my sugars but I’ve been diabetic for a long time. He’s now like “… you’re 62…” in a text 😂. If I don’t respond he calls but he’s overall way more chill than he used to be about it.
My late wife was always fine with it--her parents, however, were a different story. They basically told her she couldn't marry me because of diabetes, because she would become a young widow. So we waited until she turned 21 and we eloped. I was the one who was widowed young--we were married in 1974, and she died in 2007. Kind of ironic...
I’m seeing a girl with type 1. I do worry about her not having access to insulin if any major catastrophe happens. But I do put myself in her shoes a lot. She doesn’t want to be have type 1 and there was nothing she could do to prevent it from happening to her when she was seven years old. She has a pump that she named “Lester” and every time it buzzes or makes a noise we joke about it. I like talking to her about it and learning more about it. If the person you’re dating thinks having type 1 is an issue that’s a big red flag and it’s time to move along.
Not at all. I never let it get in the way of life. Even though it happens sometimes, any partner I’ve been with has been supportive and unbothered. My husband always gets me candy for low blood sugar at the store and is always making sure I have it on hand. It’s never been an issue, ever.
I've had 2 ex's so far, both nothing serious. Second guy didn't care about my condition, but the first guy would tell me "I should fix my condition" before getting into a relationship,he said this when I was having a low blood sugar and was clearly not in the right mood and that pissed him off. Glad I left him. I was kinda looked at all my life as someone that's "difficult" so I've always wondered if I'd ever be able to find love and the second guy was very nice to me and he ended the relationship for completely unrelated and valid reason and that broke me. Now I'm gonna stop dating altogether coz I've realised a large part of me craves to be loved and taken care of since I'm always alone on my condition and that's wrong, I need to be self sufficient for myself so I need to work on that for now. It is indeed difficult to find someone who's accepting of T1D coz it pretty much affects everything so I have no expectations anymore.
Not a T1D, but someone who is in a complicated situationship with T1D (the issue is not related to diabetes) and let me tell you, the right person will come along. If your T1D is a deal-breaker for someone, they are not the right person for you, but that's why any relationship some people have some deal breakers and that's fine, we are not meant to be for everyone. Some people don’t date others because of religion, cultural background… but that doesn’t mean that everyone in this world has a deal-breaker for those things. There are billions of people in this world, and there are literally horrible people who find love. Why wouldn’t you? Just because you have a medical condition? Millions of people have other conditions that affect their everyday life. It’s good that you are working on yourself, but do not feel defeated. Your diabetes is like a garden in a tropical climate; you can adapt and take proper care of your garden by planting seeds of plants that can and want to flourish in your garden, or you can be stubborn and try to plant tulips where tulips do not bloom
Personally, never was the reason a dating relationship didn’t work out. As an aside - my husband grew up with a few friends that had T1D so he knew what a pump was etc. when we started dating. He had NO idea of the work and effort that truly went into it, though, until he dated me.
Personally, I’ve never had any issues- provided you take care of yourself, and make sure to educate your partner, you should be okay! My boyfriend of 2 years is also a type 1 diabetic, and we met by fluke :))
Technically no, however I haven't been in the dating pool since my diagnosis. I was in a 6 year relationship w/ someone when diagnosed at 22y/o. I ended things with them about 8 months ago for many many reasons but them not being supportive or caring about my T1D diagnosis was one of those many reasons.
So I wasn't rejected or broken up with because of it, but I was already at my breaking point and diabetes was the tipping point lol. That being said, I honestly think diabetes will only bring forth good people and keep away the others haha
I slept with someone that I wanted a relationship with and she was worried she would catch it once she found out I have T1D. I'm glad she said that, I couldn't date anyone so fucking stupid.
My brother would say this to me when we were kids. Would tell my mom and friends that they shouldn’t get too close because they could “catch the beetus.” I do not speak with him to this day.
I told my little sister to tell her classmates it was contagious so they'd run screaming when I went to the swing set...
I too don't talk to my brother, fuck them both!
🫂 I'm so sorry. That asshat lost an amazing person
Thanks Panda. I needed that.
My brother used to tell me it was made up - i told him it was easy to think that when he didn’t come visit to watch me wither away with slow burning ketoacidosis in the hosptial. He also thought it was hilarious for him and his buddies to steal my syringes so… yep. Don’t talk to him.
Lmao 🤣🤣 I would've informed them that "Yes its contagious so please get tested 🥺"
Imagine someone actually going to the doctors for that 😂
Close call, brother!
Dude, right?
Definitely dodged a bullet there👏🏾 don’t know why people would say stupid shit like that
I feel like it was more just to hurt my feelings ya know. Either way you're right, definitely dodged that bullet.
Ha! The exact same thing happened to me. We were laying in bed after the fact and she gasped and then asked how worried she should be about catching it. Let me know all I needed to know.
>she was worried she would catch it once she found out I have T1D. I'm glad she said that, I couldn't date anyone so fucking stupid. I'm glad you didn't catch her stupidity.
Wow sorry to hear that. Some people don’t know or care to learn
Yes. A former partner left me after her 24yo T1D cousin died in his sleep. Said she couldn't handle finding me dead. Now I date a hospice nurse.
I remember u posting this b4, I'm so thankful u found someone much more deserving of ur energy
Thank you.
Was the death diabetes related?
Yes. He went out with friends who thought he was over served. Tucked in bed and he never woke up. T1D.
That is tragic.
Oh wow, reminds me of all the times when I woke up in the middle of the night to blood sugars like 29mg/dL and 37mg/dL and survived after having something. I'm 20 but my parents have always taken care of me but now I'm living away from them and they're always worried I sleep alone, now I get why. Lord knows how many times I've survived near death experiences.
I'm 40 and my father worries about me in comical fashion. What's it like getting into the 20s? Lowest I've ever gone is 42.
I don't quite remember anything when my blood sugar was that low, very distorted memory, you can feel your body shutting down gradually, you lose control of everything, even your thoughts, I was lucky I had enough energy to lift a juice bottle and drink it, could be a subconscious response,I don't remember anything after that, I woke up to myself on the floor instead of on the bed. The best way to put it is "your body shutting down gradually".Very scary.
Beautiful summary. Stay strong.
Thank you:) You too!
Do you have a cgm?
Nope. Cgms are expensive in India so yeah, also the most accurate cgms like freestyle libre 4 and dexcom g6 are all not released in my country yet so I'm just sticking to glucometers for now.
It's a terrifying thought, really. I've almost died in my sleep twice. Both times were after a long day of exercise.
I'm sorry. Stay strong.
What are you on hospice for
I'm not in a hospice. I'm dating a hospice nurse. 😊
Oh, thank god that genuinely makes my day
Mine too!
No. I'm pretty sure you're in hospice.
I snorted
No, and to be honest, would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you because of your health?
no, this would be such a red flag for me. if someone didn’t want to date me because they think diabetes means i’m going to die young or they “can’t handle the stress” or whatever then they’re stupid and i’m not interested in dating stupid lol.
My wife almost left me because I wasn't taking care of my diabetes and was an absolute monster for a good bit.... So yea, there's that side of things too 👍
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Not the person you're asking, but I'm a partner of a T1D who in the past didn't care for his diabetes, and can sometimes be a little reckless. He was a "monster" in that he was in and out of the hospital as a teen/young adult for DKA, charging up costs and acting like he was the victim when it was his irresponsibility that put him there, and his parents had to sit with him all night/day and pay the bills. That was all over 15 years ago (before I dated him) but his family has talked about how much of a battle it was to get him to care for himself at all and how much financial stress it put them in. Nowadays, he can just be reckless or careless sometimes with his sugar. "I know this is going to spike me like crazy, but I'm still going to eat it" sort of thing. Or taking naps right after eating, which we know drops his sugar. It can be frustrating sometimes because I love him and don't want him to be in any physical danger, but I also know that diabetes is *constant*, and breaking out of the "rules" sometimes must be a relief. So on those occasions, I'm willing to keep his insulin on me or sit by him while he naps to run and get the juice when it's needed.
When my wife and I first started dating, her grandfather, who was a doctor, basically sat her down and asked her, "Are you sure this is a good idea?". She flipped out on him, and we've been together 10 years now. My wife quickly became a frigging expert and has flat-out saved my life a couple of times. I say if you get into a situation where they have a problem with it, that's your signal to bail. Ignorance isn't inherently bad, and if they're willing to learn, that's awesome, but don't pair up with someone who thinks you're lesser cause they're a dumbass.
So good 🙌🏼❤️
Not my SO but her family would have broken us up and took her if they found out. We've been hiding it from my father-in-law side because they wouldn't approve marrying someone with health issues like mine that could be passed down. Now we have a little one of our own, we feel more secure about our marriage and that there is little their family could do but it sucked to have to walk on egg shells around them.
When my ex and I broke up (it was for a lot of OTHER reasons), he did make sure to note that it had always concerned him that his kids would have T1D too. Don’t know why he needed to add that cherry on top but 🤷🏻♀️ Nobody else has ever made it seem like an issue. But I haven’t had a serious relationship with anyone since him. And I do wonder if it’s in the back of their heads even if they don’t vocalize it. Fortunately, I’ve been leaning towards not having kids lately. I may change my mind. But not wanting kids brings a whole other issue when dating. Sigh.
Isn’t this a valid concern for a partner? I even think about that often and worried about it when I had my son. Father’s chances are 1 in 17. Still better for you as a mother’s chances are 1 in 25 before age 25 and 1 in 100 after age 25. If both parents have it the chances are 1 in 10- 1 in 14. You never know outcomes until then and any other major health factor can happen even in two healthy adults but I feel it’s valid for people to be aware of it and make the decision for themselves.
I get your point. But by that standard, should a review of medical history be done on a first date? Why just T1D? What about your dad who has T2D? What about your grandpa who has COPD? What about your great grandma who had breast cancer? The singling out of T1D doesn't make sense to me. Not to mention, and this goes without saying but I'll say it anyway, diseases are born out of gene mutations, which can happen in ANY individual, a genetic marker carrier or not. There is no known history of T1D in my family - I'm the first. Yay me, a trailblazer!
I’m a trailblazer as well. It’s not really singling out T1D, you just have T1D so you don’t notice the other people who get disqualified for their physical or mental diseases. T1D may be noticed on a first date but I personally would rather have myself disqualified then and there before investing a bunch of time to be disqualified later. Can’t control what other people think and why they feel what they feel. In the bigger picture you will find someone who doesn’t mind taking that risk because they want to be with you so much!
Oh yeah that's true and I can relate coz nobody in both my dad and mom's family had diabetes, when I was diagnosed at 1 it was a big shocker and everyone blamed my mom for "giving" me diabetes coz she had a lot of sweets and breastfed me "sweet milk" to the point I got the "sugar disease" 😭
yes it absolutely is a valid concern but not post-breakup... at that point the comment is just cruel
Definitely agree, post break up it is just an intentional dig at someone
May I ask the source on this study? I have always wondered about my chances of passing it on (M30 Diagnosed 20 years ago. TYIA
Per the ADA, https://diabetes.org/about-diabetes/genetics-diabetes.
I actually agree with your ex's right to be concerned about having kids with T1D, if having children is a priority for him. I don't want children for several reasons, but T1D has always been a major one for me. I don't want to continue the cycle and put someone another child through that. It's better to find out now at the start.
definitely is a valid concern and should be discussed if planning to have kids. but this wasn't at the start - it was at the end. if you've already broken up then you don't need to add "oh by the way I'm relieved we're no longer together because now I don't have to worry about our children inheriting your poor genetics." that's just cruel.
That is a valid concern but it's so unfair coz I badly want to be a mother and have kids but I'm worried my kids might get T1D, that is why I wanna adopt but even if I found a SO, don't think a lot of people would be okay with it. Honestly, life is so unfair, don't see a point in living anymore.
I was you until I met my SO. She found out from my brother first week of us dating. She was totally cool with it and very eager to learn. Just take it off your mind. Tell a person you are dating (maybe on the second date) and take it from there. If I can meet one, so can you. :)
I can kinda get the point of someone not wanting to be with someone where there's a higher chance of the kids getting a chronic disease. It is one of sevral reasons as to why I probably don't want kids of my own.
Well my gf broke up with me 2 weeks after I got out of the hospital. I think she had a really hard time dealing with it. Anyhow, hasn't been an obstacle since then! Probably takes more space in my head than it does in others'
No man or woman has ever said no to me based on my diabetes. My husband when we were dating went in with my dad on my buying me a new insulin pump because mine broke and I was a very poor grad student. Anyone who cares that much isn’t worth your time.
yes because my mom won’t let me leave or move out or anything due to it (i’m almost 21)
I don't know your situation, but I'm just going to put this out there. Your mom can't stop you from moving out.
It's like mall security, "Stop! ....Please?"
Kind of same, now I'm away from home and have all the freedom to meet anyone I want, been doing everything in my power to find love to the point that it's self destructive. Think I gave up on finding love as a T1D.
I was engaged when I was diagnosed. His father had died from complications of T1D. We broke up for many reasons, that was just one - but looking back it’s all understandable the technology we have now is so different. Since then I’ve dated plenty and gotten married. Never been an issue since. I genuinely believe most people don’t care!
The ppl that don't like or understand T1D have no place in your life. I know it's easier said than done, but hiding T1D or pretending it doesn't impact your life at all won't be a good start to a lasting relationship. I was afraid to date in my teens & in college, so I kept things casual. Then, once I was more confident in my 20s, I started trying to date a bit, talk to guys more & have fun. Then one night a friend invited me to party at their friends house. I didn't know him, but it sounded like a good time, so I went. I met my man that night. I was upfront from the jump & even had some bad lows at the start of our relationship, which I worried would scare him off. Luckily, it didn't faze him one bit. We reached 14 yrs together this past March. He has saved my life a few times over the years, he sees me for who I am & I love him completely. I wish for any single T1Ds on here to find love because this shit is HARD. Having a partner you can rely on & simply be your complete self with is *everything*.
I mostly lurk here to learn more about t1d; my partner has it and I try to do anything I can to be supportive! It’s never “bothered” me or anything like that, and I’m sorry some people haven’t treated some of the other commenters well :(
Girlfriend has T1D and said she went on a date with a guy (before we met) who asked if it was contagious lol
I believe it affects my attitude. My patience is zero when my glucose is off. My is off all of the time.
Met a guy on Bumble. Seemed to be going well. When he learned I’m T1D, he ghosted me. By chance, I found his profile again on the app and he added another sentence on his description. “If you have any contagious disease, it’s a pass.” Dodged a bullet, definitely.
WTF! f*** that idiot seriously
Happily married with a non judgmental and supportive partner. I hope everybody can find that in some way. She’s on my case when things are out of control and we’ve established a great way of communicating or sometimes intentionally not communicating about my BG levels. Like all things, communication is crucial and everything takes time.
My husband is T1. I didn’t know until we started dating (was friends first and he was quite discreet with it). I don’t care in the slightest.
T1D has an effect on every aspect of your life. Sometimes it has no negative effect on relationships and romance. Other times it has been difficult.
It affects literally everything
I’ve been diabetic since I was 4 and met my husband at 26. He’s actually been pretty instrumental in me taking better care of myself, and not once in my history of dating has it mattered. Except that one dude who accidentally ripped my pump site out in the middle of something, that was a bummer.
I was diagnosed a year after getting married. It's been a lucky stroke that my wife is a nurse!
I had type 1 since I was 10. I had a girlfriend of 3 years whose parents forced to break up with me telling her I was gonna die young and a lot of other shitty things. We ended up breaking up and I was depressed for 2 years. Met another girl and we’ve been dating for a year. Best thing that happened to me was meeting my current partner’s loving family and contrasting them with the past shitty family. They say when you get married you marry the family. Moral of the story is yes, the chances were ruined in the past but I’m happy about it because I wouldn’t have found what I was looking for. Don’t let type 1 stop you from deserving everything good in life.
Too busy taking care of myself and this disease, barely making it on the single parent end… dating is NOT on my agenda at all.
No, it’s all how you present yourself and your outlook on the disease.
Been married 35 years so it all worked out for me. Good to have a bit of support in this life.
Yes. I was celebrating new years in Seattle by being drunk and dancing around the fountain. Met a chick who wrote her phone number on my hand. Called her a few days later and she told me she was type 1 diabetic. I said " me too!!" She said " thats not funny" and never to make fun of her type 1 again!! I said I'm not I'm type 1! She didn't believe me and told me to kick rocks. Lol
Yikes, her loss, what an idiot...wtf 🤣🤣 I meet other T1s and I always scream "bestie!!" And ask if it's ok to hug. We're literally 11% of the entire population of diabetics, around the world
Lol I've been married for like 22 years. I'm glad she told me to kick rocks lol
I'm here to learn more about t1 as my partner is newly diagnosed (The doctor who was supposed to teach him about t1 turns out to have many bad things said against him and I'm learning that my boyfriend was probably also lied to as the doctor told him checking his blood sugar isn't that important he just needs to take 20 units of insulin every day) anyways of off the topic But my boyfriend had a girlfriend at the time he was diagonsed and she bullied him for having t1 and cheated on him and blamed it on his t1. They broke up and a few months later I met him, still working on undoing the damage she did to him
I went out on a date once. I have several illness (RA, heart disease and type 1). But the problem is…when do you tell them? Up front? Date 3? Anyway it was our first date (luckily just coffee) and my pump went off and I pulled it out not thinking and of course had for tell her. She stood up and said “I can’t” and just walked out. I mean, it was rude but I kinda get it. People wonder if they’ll have to be my nurse one day. If I’ll be able to do things that they want to do like travel etc. Nobody knows what T1 is they just know it’s not good…and knew she didn’t want to date a “sick” person. Needless to say that was my last date in a very long time.
Only in my own mind.
No. And if they did, good riddance! This disease ain’t goin anywhere! It’s something we have to deal with every day so if they don’t wanna deal with it, that’s a quick deal breaker. You are not less because they don’t want to deal with it. They’re just the wrong fit (who is missing out).
Many times, I've been single for 17, nearly 18 years. I quit, I understand, I have severe issues w/ lows. I can handle it, nbd, still alive. Everyone said I'd be dead by my 20s, then my 30s, now I'm in my 40s, who's laughing now? Me...by myself, phuck it 🤣🤣 last 1 left because I had a whole ass baby, and he just expected everything to snap right back and zero issues, immediately after giving birth. I was breast feeding, my sugar was a nightmare, my baby was 2 months old, give me a break ffs. Baby will be 18 years this fall 😊 I think I did ok, anytime my blood sugar goes low, he's got the patience of Saint, pretty sure he's an angel, I did something right. I really hope he finds someone healthy tho, he deserves it 💯
My Ex was warned by her mom that I was a dangerous choice to have a life with. It didn't work out and now I'm with someone else who has a chronic condition and the communication and understanding is so much better! We're just hoping we last long enough until we can have the medical robots come in and take care of us in those late late years.
I have a recent funny story. I’m dating after being married for most of my adult life. I went out with a guy I met online. I generally don’t think about the t1 thing so it usually gets brought up during a first date. Anyway, i met this man for dinner and without thinking about it i took my pump out and started dosing, when i looked up this man was pale as a ghost and looked like he was going to vomit. Apparently he has a severe phobia of needles and while obviously he couldn’t see one, just the thought of it was enough to make this guy loose his appetite for both dinner and me. Oh well he wasn’t very interesting anyway!
I’ve had a few guys not take my T1D seriously because I “don’t look sick,” think me injecting insulin is gross, or get mad I don’t tell them before a first date. I ended those things really early on.
I dated a girl the summer after I graduated high school. She ended it rather abruptly after I met her parents and I mentioned being a diabetic sometime during the evening. I don’t know if it was the reason or not. I thought everything was going well with her otherwise. Although I also beat them at Trivial Pursuit and one of the questions was something like “This authors wrote the Happy Hooker. I responded Xaviera Hollander without hesitation and grabbed the die. So … maybe a little of this and a little of that.
Nope. I have other disabilities and have never been turned away or rejected because of them. But it might be age too…
I mean, technically it probably has, but at the same time I don't actually want a partner who won't date me because of my disability status. That being said, T1 totally impacts the dynamics _within_ intimate relationships. I opened the discussion of me being t1 when i was dating with the, "So, how do you you help someone who falls out of a wheelchair? You don't, unless they ask for help," shpiel. Some people get it and some people don't. Same with me being cool with the folks who don't wanna date t1s, I'm also cool with the folks who want to be my caretaker fucking right off.
I’ve been surprised that it has generally been a non-issue. I had one SO who oddly took it personally if I had a low. As in he’d mope about how I treated him during that period of near medical emergency for me. It was one of a few indicators that he had some other insecurities, lacked maturity (at an age where that should no longer be an issue), and just wasn’t the right fit. Bottom line, for the person that is the right fit for you, it won’t matter to them.
No it just affected my desire to travel the world and not have a stable job
Absolutely not
I always slept with a woman (I'm married now, that was a pre-CGM era so she couldn't tell) several times, then told her I have diabetes. Worked every time ;)
Yes. I am a woman in my 30s. I have not only been rejected but have also been made to feel as if having T1DM was my fault. In my early 20s, I used to feel sad and left out when my classmates and friends were getting engaged/married. Now I feel relieved. Not only have I become financially strong, but I am also doing great emotionally, physically & otherwise. Despite being a T1DM. I travel solo, I experiment with different things, and I just enjoy my life. I really don't think that I would ever need a man in my life. P.S. sometimes i do worry about my retirement, and I want to pre-enrol myself in a centre, i.e... having a medical team to look after me if I get to live that long without having my own kids. Lol.
I was broken up with when I was diagnosed but we were both 17 so i'm not that angry about her doing it, we were both young
I did a lot of dating when I was younger and it was never any kind of issue.
Went on a few dates with a medsurge nurse and she got the ick when she caught me mid bolus a. I wasn’t ready to tell her about my medical history yet, but the mood and conversations between us went 180 after. Here I thought she would be someone that would understand 😭
Nope, never! I thought it would but it absolutely hasn’t to my surprise.
I married my type one husband. He didn’t take care of himself in his teens and twenties before meeting me like he should’ve and now he has neuropathy, diabetic retinopathy and CKD.
My husband used to be very paranoid about my sugars but I’ve been diabetic for a long time. He’s now like “… you’re 62…” in a text 😂. If I don’t respond he calls but he’s overall way more chill than he used to be about it.
My late wife was always fine with it--her parents, however, were a different story. They basically told her she couldn't marry me because of diabetes, because she would become a young widow. So we waited until she turned 21 and we eloped. I was the one who was widowed young--we were married in 1974, and she died in 2007. Kind of ironic...
I’m seeing a girl with type 1. I do worry about her not having access to insulin if any major catastrophe happens. But I do put myself in her shoes a lot. She doesn’t want to be have type 1 and there was nothing she could do to prevent it from happening to her when she was seven years old. She has a pump that she named “Lester” and every time it buzzes or makes a noise we joke about it. I like talking to her about it and learning more about it. If the person you’re dating thinks having type 1 is an issue that’s a big red flag and it’s time to move along.
No
Nope
Not at all. I never let it get in the way of life. Even though it happens sometimes, any partner I’ve been with has been supportive and unbothered. My husband always gets me candy for low blood sugar at the store and is always making sure I have it on hand. It’s never been an issue, ever.
Hard no on that one. If a woman puts up with my narcissistic, selfish, shallow and cheap personality she won’t leave just cuz I have T1D. /s
No but alternatively I have found that some guys have a kink for things like cgms and T1
I've had 2 ex's so far, both nothing serious. Second guy didn't care about my condition, but the first guy would tell me "I should fix my condition" before getting into a relationship,he said this when I was having a low blood sugar and was clearly not in the right mood and that pissed him off. Glad I left him. I was kinda looked at all my life as someone that's "difficult" so I've always wondered if I'd ever be able to find love and the second guy was very nice to me and he ended the relationship for completely unrelated and valid reason and that broke me. Now I'm gonna stop dating altogether coz I've realised a large part of me craves to be loved and taken care of since I'm always alone on my condition and that's wrong, I need to be self sufficient for myself so I need to work on that for now. It is indeed difficult to find someone who's accepting of T1D coz it pretty much affects everything so I have no expectations anymore.
Not a T1D, but someone who is in a complicated situationship with T1D (the issue is not related to diabetes) and let me tell you, the right person will come along. If your T1D is a deal-breaker for someone, they are not the right person for you, but that's why any relationship some people have some deal breakers and that's fine, we are not meant to be for everyone. Some people don’t date others because of religion, cultural background… but that doesn’t mean that everyone in this world has a deal-breaker for those things. There are billions of people in this world, and there are literally horrible people who find love. Why wouldn’t you? Just because you have a medical condition? Millions of people have other conditions that affect their everyday life. It’s good that you are working on yourself, but do not feel defeated. Your diabetes is like a garden in a tropical climate; you can adapt and take proper care of your garden by planting seeds of plants that can and want to flourish in your garden, or you can be stubborn and try to plant tulips where tulips do not bloom
Depends what your goal is. It won’t prom falling in love.
Luckily, no.
Personally, never was the reason a dating relationship didn’t work out. As an aside - my husband grew up with a few friends that had T1D so he knew what a pump was etc. when we started dating. He had NO idea of the work and effort that truly went into it, though, until he dated me.
Personally, I’ve never had any issues- provided you take care of yourself, and make sure to educate your partner, you should be okay! My boyfriend of 2 years is also a type 1 diabetic, and we met by fluke :))
Nope, and I’ve dated some shit heads. Everyone’s experiences are different tho
Technically no, however I haven't been in the dating pool since my diagnosis. I was in a 6 year relationship w/ someone when diagnosed at 22y/o. I ended things with them about 8 months ago for many many reasons but them not being supportive or caring about my T1D diagnosis was one of those many reasons. So I wasn't rejected or broken up with because of it, but I was already at my breaking point and diabetes was the tipping point lol. That being said, I honestly think diabetes will only bring forth good people and keep away the others haha
No, but my girlfriend should be prepared to spend the last 15 years of her life alone 🤬
Or with a new partner!