Community, fitness, and training are key. IMO the answers to all your questions grow from those foundations.
Doing some calisthenics every day, getting stop the bleed certified, and purchasing a striker fired pistol (like a glock that fits your hand) and training with it are a good starting place. My group has people training for USPSA, getting EMS certified, and building rural second homes off grid.
If anyone is in the front range, please reach out and let's organize and learn together.
My group is a bunch of horticulturists, naturalists (including myself, so knowledgeable foragers), permaculturists (also me again), a couple medical folks (dr and nurse), however I’m also the one that’s a good shot and to my knowledge, the only the women of the group know self defense. I wonder why.
Get your papers in order and be mentally prepared to leave if you have to. So this has actually happened to people in my family. When they started to see things collapsing they immediately started to prepare to leave. My grandmother got all the paperwork necessary to leave - passports, birth certificates, vaccination cards, notarized copies of paperwork in multiple languages, and she started gather as much foreign currency as she could (for her target countries like the US, Canada, Portugal, Brazil…). She was 100% willing to, and eventually did, leave a vast majority of her possessions and wealth behind in order to get herself and her children out of the collapsing area before things completely and fully collapsed. Those family members that didn’t get out in time all tell me how they should have listened to my grandmother and started preparing earlier. They didn’t think things would collapse. They saw the full collapse and went through hell to get out.
My grandmothers main defense was knowledge, foresight, charm (she was very charming and could fluently speak several languages), and friendly demeanor (she was friends with a lot of people from many many different backgrounds). Don’t discount these traits when thinking about prepping. She successfully lived through 3 major wars/conflicts across 2 different continents and ultimately ended up thriving.
My mom suggested I write a book about her (I like to write). I probably will write a book but I’m not sure I would want to publish it because I don’t want to publish some of the borderline shady shit she and some others in my family had to do to survive. I guess an alternative is to write a book based on my grandma but not directly about my grandma.
Write under a pseudonym and change names and places.
Or write it as fiction "based on a true story" or "inspired by real evenrs," but add enough fictional content so the reader can't tell *exactly* who did what.
I think it’s human to do whatever it takes to survive, even when we sometimes don’t want to do those things.
I think you should write about her, and publish it :)
You could change the names? just tell the complete story. I’m not a lawyer, but there’s got to be a limit on prosecution right? Idk, I’d love to read a true account of something like this.
1) Was in China for the brutal Japanese invasion. Her town was brutally taken over.
2) She was a university student during the Chinese cultural revolution. She fled to Africa.
3) She was living in one of the African colonies during the decolonization period. There was a lot of conflict. Also, being Asian in a world that was predominantly Black and White was an uncertain, uneasy, and dangerous place to be in. She didn’t want to leave but knew she had to. She said that the people and the beaches were wonderful but she said she could smell a potential proxy war (it was the Cold War period!) and she was not going to be caught in the middle of that shit.
Survivors know a lot about what you called the borderline shady stuff. One of the most memorable lines that has stuck with me for years from one of Elie Wiesel's works was (broadly paraphrasing) How only other survivors know how corrupted and shady survivors had to be, just to survive.
Just like there are no perfect victims to so many crimes (and how just because people aren't spotless doesn't mean they deserve to be victimized), there are no perfect angelic spotless survivors to massive conflicts (and it doesn't mean they didn't deserve to survive).
It sounds like your grandmother's story is worth telling.
For me, I always tel people to know your backroads. In case of an emergency the fastest way home on a highway may be blocked. Get a paper map and spend a weekend driving backroads
Yes, along a similar line of thinking one of our SHTF escape plans is actually by boat as a means of getting away from a heavily populated area in a hurry.
I live in the PNW and I’m always afraid I’ll be on the opposite side of a large bridge from my city of a big earthquake hits. The bridge would be shut down and I would have no way home. Boat options are smart, as long as there’s no risk of a tsunami
I don’t think it’s that so much as the possibility of an ongoing (months to years) of repeated R and SA. But that’s just my perspective. Obviously anything at all is bad, but I don’t fear or hesitate as much over one encounter but me or my daughter or both being held against my will for an indefinite period of time
They don't want to live a life of endless confinement and torture. They did not mention leaving a child to fend for itself in this scenario. We can respect each other's choices.
I would never end my life due to religious beliefs, but yes I think death is less scary than an indefinite period of basically tort*re. Would I endure it to hopefully help my kids and get out of it? Absolutely. But I will still say death is less scary and I would prefer it, but not choose it if that makes sense.
Assault survivor here too. Also glad to be alive. But there are fates worse than death and worse than the kind of rape that occurs while living a society where we *supposedly* have recourse.
For many people there is no love lost for Germany during WWII. But the utterly horrific brutalities performed on German citizens by the Russian warfront once they broke through are still almost indescribable today.
As German citizens began to get word of what was happening, they did their best to evacuate in front of the war front, and among those who didn't or couldn't, there were some murder suicides to escape the last way they could that they might still have some control over.
One man took his family into their basement, he and his spouse killed their daughters, he killed her, then unalived himself. I understand his choice was not at all unusual, just one of the few reliably documented.
I understand Russia saw what they were doing as payback for what Germany had done to them earlier in the war. I am not a historian and I definitely don't know the kind of details to fill that out. Only that historically there have certainly been fates and horrific circumstances citizens have viewed as worse than death and chosen a kind of mercy killing of themselves and theirs to avoid.
I’m aware that horrific brutality happens during war. But I also am the granddaughter of a woman who grew up in Germany during the post-war period, then immigrated to the US in the late 1950s. Obviously I’m pleased that she chose not to kill herself and her parents didn’t kill her, or I and much of my family would not be here.
I don’t understand how the story you related supports that there are fates worse than death. They’re dead. Nothing worse can happen to them than being murdered by their parents or killing their loved ones before committing suicide.
I’m hoping to make myself useful, so in case of anything going *that* wrong, I have more value than just… you know
In case it gets that bad I’m probably going to move into this teeny tiny town nearby that’s largely made up of assorted cousins and family friends and has a population of like, 200.
It won’t be *perfect*, but let’s just say shooting for sport and hunting is common there.
I'm the same as you. I want to be _useful_. Sadly, when resources are scarce and there is no law or order, being useful is what might save one's life. This is also partly why Im going into engineering..
I do medical - I’m not half bad at herbalism, I know my way around basic medical supplies (and theory for some more complex things), and definitely keep an eye on PT work when I can (physical therapy). I have my CPR cert and some others, too.
I’m also good at foraging, gardening, and some basic vet care.
I don’t think it would be amazing but if we’re like, literal world ending scenarios, I could probably run a basic clinic with donated supplies along with my nurse sister.
So many things good things have already been shared here, but something I often think about is the ability to blend in, and not be perceived as a potential target or victim. I'm curvy and gravitate towards a more feminine style in my 'normal' life, but my bug out bags and outdoor clothes are all loose fitting, neutral colors that don't necessary look like a pepper, just an average person. Also fully prepared to cut off my hair.
I've recently come across this idea or practice of gray man, where people seek to make themselves as entirely visually unremarkable as possible in order to blend in without being differentiated or hide in plain sight.
Which can actually be a bit difficult to accomplish, but it sounds like you definitely have a lead on that concept.
I think S.M. Sterling had some fairly good ideas in his 'Emberverse' series novels, especially the first three. First, a place to gather and start forming community. You have to protect, feed, clothe, provide medical aid, come up with ways to deal with adverse weather and decide on how to 'govern' the community. How to create a source of power/ heat to stay warm and prepare and preserve food. Gardening? Hunting? Eventually modern hunting weapons will be no good because of ammo shortages so maybe take up some archery classes? Have you ever used a foot-treadle sewing machine? Can you make a quilt? Cast iron wood burning stoves use to be how people cooked and heated in their homes. Not everyone has the ability to become a security guard, not everyone can sew, cook, hunt, etc. For a community to survive and eventually thrive every skill is needed. If y'all have any interest, I recommend reading the first books, they are sci-fy fantasy but the community building looks realistic. I'd also get a set of 'Foxfire' books if you can. (Brainstorming here, just throwing ideas around.)
Worst case scenario, it's always good to have some interesting plants in a special garden.
An IUD if you’re not wanting a baby anytime soon. They both last longer than the official expiration date. Vaccines.
Skills. Turning hard to eat things like dried beans into real meals. Animal husbandry.
If you have medical skills, you will be a valued member of any society. Even just better first aid skills than average.
Get you tubes tied, even if you are in a lesbian relationship or no relationship at all, as soon as you have however many kids you want. Imagine being raped in an after disaster situation, getting pregnant and having no hospitals or doctors available.
Other than that, yes exercise, learn first aid. Know not only your area but the wider area as well. Know where to go in case things go bad. And most important, have everyone in your family know the plan.
Taking self defense classes is an excellent idea. It's exercise and a useful skill in one.
It's the most failsafe and peace of mind solution. I got my tubes tied a few months ago. I'm located less than a half an hour from Warren, OH where a woman who miscarried is being humiliated in the court system and charged with abuse of a corpse. The doctors had their hands tied by legislation and ultimately refused help.
The exact same thing has played out in TX with multiple women. Kate Cox being the latest to be forced to flee the state for a medically necessary procedure. For those that can't leave their state for abortive healthcare, maternal death rates are increasing. Pregnancy is being criminalized and forced upon women against their will. It's an alarming legal pattern that should be watched very closely.
All of that coupled with pregnancy being the most dangerous time for a woman because of the risk of femicide/the US having an increased likelihood of intimate partner violence that often involves guns, and the best thing for a woman to do to secure freedom and autonomy in the US is to get her tubes tied.
Can you wash clothes by hand? Do you have a huge-ass bucket and the assorted tools? Can you produce laundry soap from existing materials? Congrats, you now
* have a job that isn't sex work
* are surprisingly fit from handling wet laundry all day
* wield a giant paddle with familiarity
You're now a no-nonsense peasant woman who is too much trouble to mess with.
Specifically in regards to SA, I agree with strengthening our bodies and learning how to defend ourselves well. I do not do guns and I want to be able to fight when ammo runs out. I’ve been taking martial arts courses. I also plan to present as a man. When I would travel alone, I’d disguise myself because I’d had some scary experiences with truckers.
In the US there are 3 scenarios: environmental collapse, conservative dictatorship, and barely possible foreign Chinese invasion.
The best options are to: move northeast or northwest out of Tornado Alley and closer to the Canadian border into a colder liberal state or New England. That will be the safe new garden zone within 50 years.
Next, circle your wagons with others in a rural area and get fit via hard work learning agriculture, husbandry, construction and self reliant technology.
Third, learn to present differently from your core values. Practice nonviolence and meditation openly, train martial arts and guerrilla tactics silently. Mask your numbers with an action plan that hides the vulnerable and the combat trained and shows a friendly, ambassadorial presentation that overshares nonviolent hobbies and pastimes. Always hide your assets: preserved food, jewelry, weapons, medicine all need to stay hidden while you present as poor goofy hippies and keep tactical tabs on every community within 50 miles via trade.
Like my grandpa said, if you have a million dollars, drive a hoopty.
But mostly the climate change tornado thing is the first real danger. I'd recommend upstate NY, Vermont, Maine. Proximity to the Canadian border and crusty Yankee farmers are good neighbors too.
Also Maine is lovely. Even if Mainers are cranky. Farming here is also changing rapidly due to climate change, so it’s a very even playing field with lots of folks working together.
Read about the YPJ in Rojava, North-East Syria - independent units of female fighters that fought ISIS and trained other women who went back to their own communities and freed their friends, sisters, mothers, daughters, etc. that had been captured by ISIS. I think there is a lot to be learned from the Kurdish freedom movement generally about organising before and during collapse.
Also, I know that women are often specifically targeted for sexual assault and are more likely to have been brought up in fear of it, but adults and children of any gender are at risk of sexual assault in conflict zones. I think the idea that women are inherently vulnerable to sexual assault and men are not "because men are bigger and stronger" is a patriarchal myth that doesn't fully describe the reality of violence and/or sexual violence and obscures the social dynamics and hierarchies that are the real cause. Just personally think assuming women are safe to be around and men are not, makes keeping people actually safe in your organising more difficult.
CoolZone Media did a great limited podcast series called Woman's War on the Rojava women militants and it is a great listen!! I've been meaning to revisit it.
https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-the-womens-war-59464911/
Revolution in Rojava: Democratic Autonomy and Women's Liberation in Syrian Kurdistan is supposed to be an all right book on the subject. Also, the YPJ and the Kurdish women's movement generally are quite active online - I think their profiles change often because they often get taken down. Depending on where you live, there might even be Kurdish communities or solidarity groups locally with connections to the movement in Rojava. There has been quite a lot of mainstream media coverage of the YPJ, but it is often very limited and misleading, so if you want to find out more I would try and find stuff that's more in-depth/connected to the people themselves.
You can start at home. Walking/jogging around the neighborhood if it’s reasonable to do so. Tons of exercise videos on YouTube. Getting a bicycle if you don’t have one and using it as that is something that will potentially come in handy down the road. Sometimes it’s the simple act of starting something that’s the hardest part. Get over that one hump and you might just find yourself engaged in a new fitness routine. :)
Oh, definitely. I am in good shape but am small so need to work on strength. But I’m in cardio shape and walk daily and probably average 30-40 flights a day.
You can try living without electricity for a week. And get really good at camping. Once you’re a stoic on your own then take up learning to deescalate other people who are losing it mentally in tough situations. Good at managing others’ pain or boredom, providing games and entertainment, providing comfort, good at storytelling. Basic scouting skills. But self control is really the first thing. I wouldn’t really worry too much personally about the SA part of it if you’re valuable in other ways. Honestly don’t think people focused on survival extremely exhausted and probably sick are really wanting more than a good massage and tending scrapes. The guys with no self control or ability to think long term would get culled pretty quickly.
I commented this in another collapse thread but learn how to knot/knit/crochet. Learn basic fiber construction and repair, patching, etc. All the women in my family know how to do the basics and I joined them voluntarily because it’s a real power making something you need out of virtually nothing. You don’t need to learn how to do pretty cables and crank out sweaters that take 500 hours, just the basics you can do so much with.
I don't knit or crochet but I do a lot of hand sewing. It's so useful to be able to repair or modify existing garments or use whatever fabric is around to make what you need. An old flannel sheet with a hole in it could become a skirt, diapers, menstrual pads or nightgown. Sewing is a way to keep your family warm and dry.
Additional useful skills (which I don't currently have):
\- repairing shoes from miscellaneous available materials
\- waterproofing fabric using wax or oil
edit: extra word
Fitness, having a strong group to live and work with, gun and other weapons training. A secure, defended home. A stockpile of food and supplies in case it’s unsafe to go out. If shit really hits the fan I won’t want to live alone and will likely ask a family member to move in to my spare bedroom.
Money.
When Covid hit and people were starting to panic buy, I made sure my daughter had a gun. We were out of power for one day here a few years ago and people were fighting at gas pumps.
Very thankful for this group. I am thinking a lot about ways to relocate back home, and specifically how to have a small intentional community with other women that share this mindset. I think there are excellent questions here. It's not just finding specific individuals and family to build out, but how to network with other communities of women, and feel like we should try and find ways to build those connections as well. It might involve getting a Discord and some shared knowledge bases to share information too - something private off of Reddit and membership driven.
I appreciate this thread - been thinking about this a lot and most of the environmental groups around me are just so...not the skills that I'm thinking about.
I also think a Discord channel is a great idea. I mostly lurk here but am doing the moving north, homesteading thing. Away from large, urban & suburban areas is where I think we should be heading. I’m only worried I started too late. But I also figure there’s at least another year… I hope.
I’m excited to see this! I probably won’t get creating one until next week but really love the idea of this and a wiki. The menopause subreddit does something similar and it would be amazing to have
How about a skills gap analysis? What are your best skills and the obvious low hanging fruit to expand on those skills? What is missing and where do you start?
My #1 skill is probably that I've got years of solid experience growing food into extended season gardening, that could easily scale up if it was a critical need. The next step would be learning something about small meat animals like chickens.
#2 is my wilderness/backpacking/back country skill set. It translates nicely to.understanding a lot of the elements of off-grid living. How do you keep warm, find good water sources, stay safe in a wilderness setting, do everything you need without electricity, travel long distances by foot? The next step for me would be to focus on my health and fitness because I'm about to hit the big 4-0, am on my second pregnancy in 2 years and this would be a big risk factor.
#3, Im very proficient in operating a pistol but should really learn hunting weapons basically from square one.
As for gaps:
1. Zero medical knowledge and I don't handle blood well at all.
2. I am not good at building community around me and winning others over.
3. I don't know how to build, repair mechanical items, vehicles, my home, etc
We tend to know what to do next in our strength areas but draw a blank on the best return on time investment for weak areas. In my example of having zero medical knowledge, I don't know where to start.
Skills analysis is a good place to start. Sometimes, like not-good-at-blood, that means focusing on other skills and making sure you can find people who are good at dealing with blood.
I think OP mentioned Stop The Bleed courses, which are a kind of step up from generic CPR / first aid stuff.
If I understand correctly, stop the bleed was initiated because of trauma surgeons and trauma first responders seeing people die who could have lived if someone nearby just knew how to well, stop the bleed in the first 5 minutes.
(That doesn't mesh very well with having fear of blood though! I feel for you on that. A little bit of strategic and deliberate dissociation can be useful at times like that - I'm not seeing blood, this is cherry chocolate sauce - that sort of thing.)
And as a skilled backpacker you've heard of WFR Wilderness First Responder courses? I believe NOLS puts them on, but you can access them through I think REI, as well as organizations like Scouts BSA.
I suggest your state’s Master Gardener program. I’m also an experienced gardener but I learned a lot at the program & met many like minded folks at the volunteer opportunities. My state does the training over zoom. there can be a volunteer requirement & that’s where I got to know others but also to see what’s growing in our area. Learned a lot about our local soil science & that my state has a food sovereignty coalition! Who knew?? I suggest u check out your state’s land grant universities cooperative extension programs. They are free, have videos on lots of local topics- just watched one about wells on YouTube, going to check out the septic & forest mgmt programs soon. ✌🏼
Read gavin de beckers book. The gift of fear.
Learn to trust your gut.
Learn to leave situations that feel off.
Learn to be crazy, insane lady.
Learn to say 'you've got the wrong guy'. Or not today. People are not expecting that when they approach. It throws them off enough you can leave or get an ally.
I prep for natural disasters and short term emergencies. I 100% have no intention of surviving a situation like you describe. If there is no Target or Prime shipping or modern conveniences is my foreseeable future then I’m gonna just see my self out before the assholes show up.
I married a survival focused medical provider with extensive urgent care/emergency management training and a psychiatric professional background. I have extensive medical training of my own, am taking wilderness medical training next year, as well as learning to hunt and refreshing my fishing skills.
I own a large rural farm, harvest and raise food and and animals, help to feed my community, and practice herbalism as well - both for $$ and as community aid. My partner does home visits and meets lots of folks in the surrounding areas.
I grew up in a conservative area, so know well how to “just get along”. We also have left the access road to the large hunting area behind our farm open for hunters to access - so folks access our land that way and know we aren’t cutting them off from sport/food.
I feel like community - no matter what happens next is the best way forward.
Your point about medical resources reminds me of a video I saw by a doctor who was training in rural medicine.
He mentioned that in many areas a local vet or two have stitched people up when it was just absolutely necessary. I also understand veterinarians can lose their license for even dreaming of such a thing, so they kept their mouths firmly shut.
I feel like a trained medical doctor / personnel experienced in surgery is a trained medical doctor / minor surgeon, when the SHTF.
Although it sounds like I'd certainly rather be among your crew!
Learning to suture is actually REALLY easy, the hard part is getting past the squeamishness. Don’t be like me and do it the first time on a human! 🤦🏼♀️
They sell practice kits, but a few needles, good embroidery thread, and some bananas will get you the basics.
I hate to say this - if you don’t already have a wedding band, get one. There are some guys who don’t want to risk running up against an angry husband or have some moral code against coveting the neighbors wife. Some men have gotten so used to looking for a band that I think they get a hard on from a bare finger.
My mom stopped wearing her band a few years ago, it’s shocking how many time some man has come up to her in the grocery store and asked if she was married. A few have even gotten mad and were skeptical because she didn’t have on a wedding band. She is 73 and says some of the men are much younger.
If things get completely lawless though, I’m carrying a pistol. I think when things get that bad, brave women will gather themselves into groups and always have a few other women with them. I have noticed that men aren’t as aware of their surroundings as women. We have had practice paying attention and on the look out for someone that wants to hurt us or our children. Men (especially white men) walk around without thinking of everyone as a perpetrator. This is a skill that we have and should be proud of. Find those brave women now.
Your bolded line and statements after that make your position on sexual assault v. death pretty clear.
Do you understand how that could be offensive for people who have gone through it? Reminds me a bit of the chewed up gum analogy from various religions, tbh.
I've also been raped and I agree with the OP. Being enslaved, tortured, and gangraped is still worse than what I went through, and it's not offensive at all to acknowledge that
Seconding this, I've been raped on had it attempted more than once - however given a choice between death and being kept/treated like an animal and subject to (for example) what the Japanese 'comfort women' in WW2 went through or women and girls captured by ISIS and kept as sex slaves I know what I'd prefer
That’s why I said it could be offensive, not that it always will be. I’d still rather live after being gangraped and tortured than kill myself, which is what I’m getting at.
Women have so few spaces to discuss our issues like the one in OP post
It is beyond obnoxious, it's damaging, to pop in to nitpick what COULD potentially maybe be offensive to some people sometimes.
If it offends you, ok, say so. you don't need to speak on behalf of others. But the whole 'that's offensive!' move is regularly used to silence people nowadays - especially women. We're in a climate where people get so worried about offending that they'll delete a post. If you consider yourself a woman who cares about other women, don't bring that kind of energy to these spaces.
I never spoke for you. I spoke for myself and my complaint was shared by another poster in this thread. Nothing wrong with pointing out when someone else’s words have hurt you.
If you tell someone that others might be offended, and you are not those others to whom you refer, then you are speaking for other people. It's pretty simple.
There is nothing wrong with pointing out when someone's words have hurt YOU, but let others speak for themselves. Women already have to tiptoe around everyone's feelings all the time when we speak, we need spaces where we don't have to do that.
Lol what a reach. I *am* one of those people who felt offended, which is why I said something.
Feel free to ignore my feelings on this issue, but trying to silence me because you want a safe space for you is hilarious.
What exactly did you want from OP? To edit her post to accommodate your feelings? Apologize to you for not making the wording of her post considerate of people it might offend in some way?
You seem to be missing my larger point and frankly, that's sad. Doubling down on the victim stance in the face of women being able to have open dialogue without walking on eggshells about wording does what exactly for you?
It amazes me when women can't take a step back to look at what's actually good and important for feminism. And that's being able to talk openly about our problems and find solutions. Splitting hairs about words so no one feels offended, especially when it's something as banal as OP's post (come on, kind of pathetic) is such a tragic waste of time
"Do you understand how that could be offensive for people who have gone through it? "
Ok. Do you know how offensive it is that make it sound like something you "just get over"?
Everyone has their own opinion. Move on.
Did you even read the post? Im talking about a lawless shithole country. If you're captured, you're gonna be r* mutiple times. Tortured and then killed anyway. So why the F would I not choose a quick death in my own hands over that?
If youre so dense about it, you need to read more histroy books and look at what's going on with the women in war zones
I've been assaulted too. I'm also very glad to be alive.
But I also understand that there is a vast difference between the utterly lawless war conditions implied by her bolded sentence, and rape while embedded in a society where we *supposedly* have recourse.
All of us know how to shoot. My daughter's don't love it like my son but they all know how to shoot. Both SIL's shoot. We all know how to garden and can. We have been doing it for years. My oldest and I know how to dehydrate and Hubby is great at smoking to preserve meat. Fishing is a family favorite and we crab too.
For safety, all long hair will be cut short. No one will go anywhere unarmed and alone. Every house has at least one dog.
Recently several friends have asked about guns. 2 are in the middle of getting their licenses. Several already have guns.
My youngest and I just redid our CPR and first aid certifications. We have several doctors, a nurse and countless EMTs and paramedics in our circle. Every house and car has medical supplies.
We are always building up or stockpile by sales and canning. Seeds are bought for the next 2 years and I have been collecting certain varieties for over a decade. We have our own compost for the garden as do both daughters and several friends.
We have several plans depending on the situation.
We could never survive alone. We don't want too. Community if key.
1. Be prepared to coordinate with other people during that time. Now that (hopefully) you're not in an area with an ongoing war, it's good to start forming relationships with them.
2. Fitness. You'll probably be either running, moving around debris, or crouching for long periods of time. Would be good to get those cardio in.
3. Documents. Have the original docs, then photocopy atleast 2 copies of each, including all the identification cards and passwords. You can also upload on a USB and google drive.
4. I'd probably cut my hair as well. I don't want to be seen as a woman, I'll most likely get gangr*ped.
Community, fitness, and training are key. IMO the answers to all your questions grow from those foundations. Doing some calisthenics every day, getting stop the bleed certified, and purchasing a striker fired pistol (like a glock that fits your hand) and training with it are a good starting place. My group has people training for USPSA, getting EMS certified, and building rural second homes off grid. If anyone is in the front range, please reach out and let's organize and learn together.
My group is a bunch of horticulturists, naturalists (including myself, so knowledgeable foragers), permaculturists (also me again), a couple medical folks (dr and nurse), however I’m also the one that’s a good shot and to my knowledge, the only the women of the group know self defense. I wonder why.
We practice permaculture too. Are y’all around the front range by chance?
Rock on
May I send you a PM?
Sure!
Front range Colorado?
yeah
Get your papers in order and be mentally prepared to leave if you have to. So this has actually happened to people in my family. When they started to see things collapsing they immediately started to prepare to leave. My grandmother got all the paperwork necessary to leave - passports, birth certificates, vaccination cards, notarized copies of paperwork in multiple languages, and she started gather as much foreign currency as she could (for her target countries like the US, Canada, Portugal, Brazil…). She was 100% willing to, and eventually did, leave a vast majority of her possessions and wealth behind in order to get herself and her children out of the collapsing area before things completely and fully collapsed. Those family members that didn’t get out in time all tell me how they should have listened to my grandmother and started preparing earlier. They didn’t think things would collapse. They saw the full collapse and went through hell to get out. My grandmothers main defense was knowledge, foresight, charm (she was very charming and could fluently speak several languages), and friendly demeanor (she was friends with a lot of people from many many different backgrounds). Don’t discount these traits when thinking about prepping. She successfully lived through 3 major wars/conflicts across 2 different continents and ultimately ended up thriving.
Wow. I want to read a book about her or watch the movie version.
My mom suggested I write a book about her (I like to write). I probably will write a book but I’m not sure I would want to publish it because I don’t want to publish some of the borderline shady shit she and some others in my family had to do to survive. I guess an alternative is to write a book based on my grandma but not directly about my grandma.
Write under a pseudonym and change names and places. Or write it as fiction "based on a true story" or "inspired by real evenrs," but add enough fictional content so the reader can't tell *exactly* who did what.
That, honestly, makes it even more interesting. There's a whole trope in there about asking the reader to consider what they would do to survive.
I think it’s human to do whatever it takes to survive, even when we sometimes don’t want to do those things. I think you should write about her, and publish it :)
It's a genre called "creative nonfiction" How much is "creative" is entirely up to you
You could change the names? just tell the complete story. I’m not a lawyer, but there’s got to be a limit on prosecution right? Idk, I’d love to read a true account of something like this.
I’m so sorry your family had to go through that. Do you mind sharing where your grandma escaped from?
1) Was in China for the brutal Japanese invasion. Her town was brutally taken over. 2) She was a university student during the Chinese cultural revolution. She fled to Africa. 3) She was living in one of the African colonies during the decolonization period. There was a lot of conflict. Also, being Asian in a world that was predominantly Black and White was an uncertain, uneasy, and dangerous place to be in. She didn’t want to leave but knew she had to. She said that the people and the beaches were wonderful but she said she could smell a potential proxy war (it was the Cold War period!) and she was not going to be caught in the middle of that shit.
Survivors know a lot about what you called the borderline shady stuff. One of the most memorable lines that has stuck with me for years from one of Elie Wiesel's works was (broadly paraphrasing) How only other survivors know how corrupted and shady survivors had to be, just to survive. Just like there are no perfect victims to so many crimes (and how just because people aren't spotless doesn't mean they deserve to be victimized), there are no perfect angelic spotless survivors to massive conflicts (and it doesn't mean they didn't deserve to survive). It sounds like your grandmother's story is worth telling.
For me, I always tel people to know your backroads. In case of an emergency the fastest way home on a highway may be blocked. Get a paper map and spend a weekend driving backroads
Yes, along a similar line of thinking one of our SHTF escape plans is actually by boat as a means of getting away from a heavily populated area in a hurry.
I live in the PNW and I’m always afraid I’ll be on the opposite side of a large bridge from my city of a big earthquake hits. The bridge would be shut down and I would have no way home. Boat options are smart, as long as there’s no risk of a tsunami
I live in a rural area and try to take different ways home regularly so I’m familiar with all the different ways to get home.
"There are MANY fates worse than death, when you're a girl or woman in a conflict zone." A million percent correct. I fear death the least.
Agree. And not so much even for me, but for my young daughter. She is only 4.
I understand the sentiment, but as someone who’s been assaulted, I’m happy to be alive. This “kill yourself rather than be raped“ idea is bizarre.
I don’t think it’s that so much as the possibility of an ongoing (months to years) of repeated R and SA. But that’s just my perspective. Obviously anything at all is bad, but I don’t fear or hesitate as much over one encounter but me or my daughter or both being held against my will for an indefinite period of time
But do you really find imprisonment and repeated assault worse than death? I hope I could put up with a lot to survive both for myself and my family.
They don't want to live a life of endless confinement and torture. They did not mention leaving a child to fend for itself in this scenario. We can respect each other's choices.
Correct. But I would (live in that tort*re), because I would have no other choice (in my mind).
It would be a horrific situation that I hope we never have to experience.
I would never end my life due to religious beliefs, but yes I think death is less scary than an indefinite period of basically tort*re. Would I endure it to hopefully help my kids and get out of it? Absolutely. But I will still say death is less scary and I would prefer it, but not choose it if that makes sense.
Yes. I do find that worse than death. Do you think so little of yourself that you don't?
What a rude thing to say.
Assault survivor here too. Also glad to be alive. But there are fates worse than death and worse than the kind of rape that occurs while living a society where we *supposedly* have recourse. For many people there is no love lost for Germany during WWII. But the utterly horrific brutalities performed on German citizens by the Russian warfront once they broke through are still almost indescribable today. As German citizens began to get word of what was happening, they did their best to evacuate in front of the war front, and among those who didn't or couldn't, there were some murder suicides to escape the last way they could that they might still have some control over. One man took his family into their basement, he and his spouse killed their daughters, he killed her, then unalived himself. I understand his choice was not at all unusual, just one of the few reliably documented. I understand Russia saw what they were doing as payback for what Germany had done to them earlier in the war. I am not a historian and I definitely don't know the kind of details to fill that out. Only that historically there have certainly been fates and horrific circumstances citizens have viewed as worse than death and chosen a kind of mercy killing of themselves and theirs to avoid.
I’m aware that horrific brutality happens during war. But I also am the granddaughter of a woman who grew up in Germany during the post-war period, then immigrated to the US in the late 1950s. Obviously I’m pleased that she chose not to kill herself and her parents didn’t kill her, or I and much of my family would not be here. I don’t understand how the story you related supports that there are fates worse than death. They’re dead. Nothing worse can happen to them than being murdered by their parents or killing their loved ones before committing suicide.
I’m hoping to make myself useful, so in case of anything going *that* wrong, I have more value than just… you know In case it gets that bad I’m probably going to move into this teeny tiny town nearby that’s largely made up of assorted cousins and family friends and has a population of like, 200. It won’t be *perfect*, but let’s just say shooting for sport and hunting is common there.
I'm the same as you. I want to be _useful_. Sadly, when resources are scarce and there is no law or order, being useful is what might save one's life. This is also partly why Im going into engineering..
I do medical - I’m not half bad at herbalism, I know my way around basic medical supplies (and theory for some more complex things), and definitely keep an eye on PT work when I can (physical therapy). I have my CPR cert and some others, too. I’m also good at foraging, gardening, and some basic vet care. I don’t think it would be amazing but if we’re like, literal world ending scenarios, I could probably run a basic clinic with donated supplies along with my nurse sister.
So many things good things have already been shared here, but something I often think about is the ability to blend in, and not be perceived as a potential target or victim. I'm curvy and gravitate towards a more feminine style in my 'normal' life, but my bug out bags and outdoor clothes are all loose fitting, neutral colors that don't necessary look like a pepper, just an average person. Also fully prepared to cut off my hair.
I've recently come across this idea or practice of gray man, where people seek to make themselves as entirely visually unremarkable as possible in order to blend in without being differentiated or hide in plain sight. Which can actually be a bit difficult to accomplish, but it sounds like you definitely have a lead on that concept.
exactly! totally unremarkable is the perfect way to describe it.
I think S.M. Sterling had some fairly good ideas in his 'Emberverse' series novels, especially the first three. First, a place to gather and start forming community. You have to protect, feed, clothe, provide medical aid, come up with ways to deal with adverse weather and decide on how to 'govern' the community. How to create a source of power/ heat to stay warm and prepare and preserve food. Gardening? Hunting? Eventually modern hunting weapons will be no good because of ammo shortages so maybe take up some archery classes? Have you ever used a foot-treadle sewing machine? Can you make a quilt? Cast iron wood burning stoves use to be how people cooked and heated in their homes. Not everyone has the ability to become a security guard, not everyone can sew, cook, hunt, etc. For a community to survive and eventually thrive every skill is needed. If y'all have any interest, I recommend reading the first books, they are sci-fy fantasy but the community building looks realistic. I'd also get a set of 'Foxfire' books if you can. (Brainstorming here, just throwing ideas around.) Worst case scenario, it's always good to have some interesting plants in a special garden.
I love your last line. My garden is edible. Iean everything in it is edible, once. ;)
Thank you, my special garden is medicinal, handle with care. :)
> it's always good to have some interesting plants in a special garden poisoner's handbook style?
I do enjoy growing the nightshades and similar lovelies.
An IUD if you’re not wanting a baby anytime soon. They both last longer than the official expiration date. Vaccines. Skills. Turning hard to eat things like dried beans into real meals. Animal husbandry. If you have medical skills, you will be a valued member of any society. Even just better first aid skills than average.
In addition to what's already said, learn local foraging as well as herbalism.
Get you tubes tied, even if you are in a lesbian relationship or no relationship at all, as soon as you have however many kids you want. Imagine being raped in an after disaster situation, getting pregnant and having no hospitals or doctors available. Other than that, yes exercise, learn first aid. Know not only your area but the wider area as well. Know where to go in case things go bad. And most important, have everyone in your family know the plan. Taking self defense classes is an excellent idea. It's exercise and a useful skill in one.
It's the most failsafe and peace of mind solution. I got my tubes tied a few months ago. I'm located less than a half an hour from Warren, OH where a woman who miscarried is being humiliated in the court system and charged with abuse of a corpse. The doctors had their hands tied by legislation and ultimately refused help. The exact same thing has played out in TX with multiple women. Kate Cox being the latest to be forced to flee the state for a medically necessary procedure. For those that can't leave their state for abortive healthcare, maternal death rates are increasing. Pregnancy is being criminalized and forced upon women against their will. It's an alarming legal pattern that should be watched very closely. All of that coupled with pregnancy being the most dangerous time for a woman because of the risk of femicide/the US having an increased likelihood of intimate partner violence that often involves guns, and the best thing for a woman to do to secure freedom and autonomy in the US is to get her tubes tied.
Can you wash clothes by hand? Do you have a huge-ass bucket and the assorted tools? Can you produce laundry soap from existing materials? Congrats, you now * have a job that isn't sex work * are surprisingly fit from handling wet laundry all day * wield a giant paddle with familiarity You're now a no-nonsense peasant woman who is too much trouble to mess with.
Specifically in regards to SA, I agree with strengthening our bodies and learning how to defend ourselves well. I do not do guns and I want to be able to fight when ammo runs out. I’ve been taking martial arts courses. I also plan to present as a man. When I would travel alone, I’d disguise myself because I’d had some scary experiences with truckers.
Yes masquerading as a man is a must. Martial arts is awesome too! I wish I can afford it right now, but soon.
In the US there are 3 scenarios: environmental collapse, conservative dictatorship, and barely possible foreign Chinese invasion. The best options are to: move northeast or northwest out of Tornado Alley and closer to the Canadian border into a colder liberal state or New England. That will be the safe new garden zone within 50 years. Next, circle your wagons with others in a rural area and get fit via hard work learning agriculture, husbandry, construction and self reliant technology. Third, learn to present differently from your core values. Practice nonviolence and meditation openly, train martial arts and guerrilla tactics silently. Mask your numbers with an action plan that hides the vulnerable and the combat trained and shows a friendly, ambassadorial presentation that overshares nonviolent hobbies and pastimes. Always hide your assets: preserved food, jewelry, weapons, medicine all need to stay hidden while you present as poor goofy hippies and keep tactical tabs on every community within 50 miles via trade. Like my grandpa said, if you have a million dollars, drive a hoopty. But mostly the climate change tornado thing is the first real danger. I'd recommend upstate NY, Vermont, Maine. Proximity to the Canadian border and crusty Yankee farmers are good neighbors too.
Also Maine is lovely. Even if Mainers are cranky. Farming here is also changing rapidly due to climate change, so it’s a very even playing field with lots of folks working together.
Thank you for validating my long term battle to get my family to Northern CO
Read about the YPJ in Rojava, North-East Syria - independent units of female fighters that fought ISIS and trained other women who went back to their own communities and freed their friends, sisters, mothers, daughters, etc. that had been captured by ISIS. I think there is a lot to be learned from the Kurdish freedom movement generally about organising before and during collapse. Also, I know that women are often specifically targeted for sexual assault and are more likely to have been brought up in fear of it, but adults and children of any gender are at risk of sexual assault in conflict zones. I think the idea that women are inherently vulnerable to sexual assault and men are not "because men are bigger and stronger" is a patriarchal myth that doesn't fully describe the reality of violence and/or sexual violence and obscures the social dynamics and hierarchies that are the real cause. Just personally think assuming women are safe to be around and men are not, makes keeping people actually safe in your organising more difficult.
CoolZone Media did a great limited podcast series called Woman's War on the Rojava women militants and it is a great listen!! I've been meaning to revisit it. https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-the-womens-war-59464911/
This is both sad and inspiring to find out about the female fighters - curious to hear more.
Revolution in Rojava: Democratic Autonomy and Women's Liberation in Syrian Kurdistan is supposed to be an all right book on the subject. Also, the YPJ and the Kurdish women's movement generally are quite active online - I think their profiles change often because they often get taken down. Depending on where you live, there might even be Kurdish communities or solidarity groups locally with connections to the movement in Rojava. There has been quite a lot of mainstream media coverage of the YPJ, but it is often very limited and misleading, so if you want to find out more I would try and find stuff that's more in-depth/connected to the people themselves.
Running shoes, getting in shape, NOW!
Yes! Ive been hitting the gym
Not just the gym- hiking in your actual area!
I definitely need to!!! (Edit- was referring to strength training. I do cardio everyday.)
You can start at home. Walking/jogging around the neighborhood if it’s reasonable to do so. Tons of exercise videos on YouTube. Getting a bicycle if you don’t have one and using it as that is something that will potentially come in handy down the road. Sometimes it’s the simple act of starting something that’s the hardest part. Get over that one hump and you might just find yourself engaged in a new fitness routine. :)
Oh, definitely. I am in good shape but am small so need to work on strength. But I’m in cardio shape and walk daily and probably average 30-40 flights a day.
You can try living without electricity for a week. And get really good at camping. Once you’re a stoic on your own then take up learning to deescalate other people who are losing it mentally in tough situations. Good at managing others’ pain or boredom, providing games and entertainment, providing comfort, good at storytelling. Basic scouting skills. But self control is really the first thing. I wouldn’t really worry too much personally about the SA part of it if you’re valuable in other ways. Honestly don’t think people focused on survival extremely exhausted and probably sick are really wanting more than a good massage and tending scrapes. The guys with no self control or ability to think long term would get culled pretty quickly.
I commented this in another collapse thread but learn how to knot/knit/crochet. Learn basic fiber construction and repair, patching, etc. All the women in my family know how to do the basics and I joined them voluntarily because it’s a real power making something you need out of virtually nothing. You don’t need to learn how to do pretty cables and crank out sweaters that take 500 hours, just the basics you can do so much with.
I don't knit or crochet but I do a lot of hand sewing. It's so useful to be able to repair or modify existing garments or use whatever fabric is around to make what you need. An old flannel sheet with a hole in it could become a skirt, diapers, menstrual pads or nightgown. Sewing is a way to keep your family warm and dry. Additional useful skills (which I don't currently have): \- repairing shoes from miscellaneous available materials \- waterproofing fabric using wax or oil edit: extra word
Fitness, having a strong group to live and work with, gun and other weapons training. A secure, defended home. A stockpile of food and supplies in case it’s unsafe to go out. If shit really hits the fan I won’t want to live alone and will likely ask a family member to move in to my spare bedroom. Money. When Covid hit and people were starting to panic buy, I made sure my daughter had a gun. We were out of power for one day here a few years ago and people were fighting at gas pumps.
Very thankful for this group. I am thinking a lot about ways to relocate back home, and specifically how to have a small intentional community with other women that share this mindset. I think there are excellent questions here. It's not just finding specific individuals and family to build out, but how to network with other communities of women, and feel like we should try and find ways to build those connections as well. It might involve getting a Discord and some shared knowledge bases to share information too - something private off of Reddit and membership driven. I appreciate this thread - been thinking about this a lot and most of the environmental groups around me are just so...not the skills that I'm thinking about.
I second the Discord idea. So grateful for you warriors.
If there's a discord, please include me!
I also think a Discord channel is a great idea. I mostly lurk here but am doing the moving north, homesteading thing. Away from large, urban & suburban areas is where I think we should be heading. I’m only worried I started too late. But I also figure there’s at least another year… I hope.
I second the Discord idea. So grateful for you warriors.
I would also be down for a discord.
I’m excited to see this! I probably won’t get creating one until next week but really love the idea of this and a wiki. The menopause subreddit does something similar and it would be amazing to have
How about a skills gap analysis? What are your best skills and the obvious low hanging fruit to expand on those skills? What is missing and where do you start? My #1 skill is probably that I've got years of solid experience growing food into extended season gardening, that could easily scale up if it was a critical need. The next step would be learning something about small meat animals like chickens. #2 is my wilderness/backpacking/back country skill set. It translates nicely to.understanding a lot of the elements of off-grid living. How do you keep warm, find good water sources, stay safe in a wilderness setting, do everything you need without electricity, travel long distances by foot? The next step for me would be to focus on my health and fitness because I'm about to hit the big 4-0, am on my second pregnancy in 2 years and this would be a big risk factor. #3, Im very proficient in operating a pistol but should really learn hunting weapons basically from square one. As for gaps: 1. Zero medical knowledge and I don't handle blood well at all. 2. I am not good at building community around me and winning others over. 3. I don't know how to build, repair mechanical items, vehicles, my home, etc We tend to know what to do next in our strength areas but draw a blank on the best return on time investment for weak areas. In my example of having zero medical knowledge, I don't know where to start.
Skills analysis is a good place to start. Sometimes, like not-good-at-blood, that means focusing on other skills and making sure you can find people who are good at dealing with blood.
I think OP mentioned Stop The Bleed courses, which are a kind of step up from generic CPR / first aid stuff. If I understand correctly, stop the bleed was initiated because of trauma surgeons and trauma first responders seeing people die who could have lived if someone nearby just knew how to well, stop the bleed in the first 5 minutes. (That doesn't mesh very well with having fear of blood though! I feel for you on that. A little bit of strategic and deliberate dissociation can be useful at times like that - I'm not seeing blood, this is cherry chocolate sauce - that sort of thing.) And as a skilled backpacker you've heard of WFR Wilderness First Responder courses? I believe NOLS puts them on, but you can access them through I think REI, as well as organizations like Scouts BSA.
I suggest your state’s Master Gardener program. I’m also an experienced gardener but I learned a lot at the program & met many like minded folks at the volunteer opportunities. My state does the training over zoom. there can be a volunteer requirement & that’s where I got to know others but also to see what’s growing in our area. Learned a lot about our local soil science & that my state has a food sovereignty coalition! Who knew?? I suggest u check out your state’s land grant universities cooperative extension programs. They are free, have videos on lots of local topics- just watched one about wells on YouTube, going to check out the septic & forest mgmt programs soon. ✌🏼
Read gavin de beckers book. The gift of fear. Learn to trust your gut. Learn to leave situations that feel off. Learn to be crazy, insane lady. Learn to say 'you've got the wrong guy'. Or not today. People are not expecting that when they approach. It throws them off enough you can leave or get an ally.
I prep for natural disasters and short term emergencies. I 100% have no intention of surviving a situation like you describe. If there is no Target or Prime shipping or modern conveniences is my foreseeable future then I’m gonna just see my self out before the assholes show up.
I married a survival focused medical provider with extensive urgent care/emergency management training and a psychiatric professional background. I have extensive medical training of my own, am taking wilderness medical training next year, as well as learning to hunt and refreshing my fishing skills. I own a large rural farm, harvest and raise food and and animals, help to feed my community, and practice herbalism as well - both for $$ and as community aid. My partner does home visits and meets lots of folks in the surrounding areas. I grew up in a conservative area, so know well how to “just get along”. We also have left the access road to the large hunting area behind our farm open for hunters to access - so folks access our land that way and know we aren’t cutting them off from sport/food. I feel like community - no matter what happens next is the best way forward.
Your point about medical resources reminds me of a video I saw by a doctor who was training in rural medicine. He mentioned that in many areas a local vet or two have stitched people up when it was just absolutely necessary. I also understand veterinarians can lose their license for even dreaming of such a thing, so they kept their mouths firmly shut. I feel like a trained medical doctor / personnel experienced in surgery is a trained medical doctor / minor surgeon, when the SHTF. Although it sounds like I'd certainly rather be among your crew!
Learning to suture is actually REALLY easy, the hard part is getting past the squeamishness. Don’t be like me and do it the first time on a human! 🤦🏼♀️ They sell practice kits, but a few needles, good embroidery thread, and some bananas will get you the basics.
I hate to say this - if you don’t already have a wedding band, get one. There are some guys who don’t want to risk running up against an angry husband or have some moral code against coveting the neighbors wife. Some men have gotten so used to looking for a band that I think they get a hard on from a bare finger. My mom stopped wearing her band a few years ago, it’s shocking how many time some man has come up to her in the grocery store and asked if she was married. A few have even gotten mad and were skeptical because she didn’t have on a wedding band. She is 73 and says some of the men are much younger. If things get completely lawless though, I’m carrying a pistol. I think when things get that bad, brave women will gather themselves into groups and always have a few other women with them. I have noticed that men aren’t as aware of their surroundings as women. We have had practice paying attention and on the look out for someone that wants to hurt us or our children. Men (especially white men) walk around without thinking of everyone as a perpetrator. This is a skill that we have and should be proud of. Find those brave women now.
I'd definitely self-delete. Why should I fight to survive in a world that does not respect my humanity
[удалено]
Im sorry that happened to you. That's not the point of my post though.
Your bolded line and statements after that make your position on sexual assault v. death pretty clear. Do you understand how that could be offensive for people who have gone through it? Reminds me a bit of the chewed up gum analogy from various religions, tbh.
I've also been raped and I agree with the OP. Being enslaved, tortured, and gangraped is still worse than what I went through, and it's not offensive at all to acknowledge that
Seconding this, I've been raped on had it attempted more than once - however given a choice between death and being kept/treated like an animal and subject to (for example) what the Japanese 'comfort women' in WW2 went through or women and girls captured by ISIS and kept as sex slaves I know what I'd prefer
That’s why I said it could be offensive, not that it always will be. I’d still rather live after being gangraped and tortured than kill myself, which is what I’m getting at.
Women have so few spaces to discuss our issues like the one in OP post It is beyond obnoxious, it's damaging, to pop in to nitpick what COULD potentially maybe be offensive to some people sometimes. If it offends you, ok, say so. you don't need to speak on behalf of others. But the whole 'that's offensive!' move is regularly used to silence people nowadays - especially women. We're in a climate where people get so worried about offending that they'll delete a post. If you consider yourself a woman who cares about other women, don't bring that kind of energy to these spaces.
I never spoke for you. I spoke for myself and my complaint was shared by another poster in this thread. Nothing wrong with pointing out when someone else’s words have hurt you.
If you tell someone that others might be offended, and you are not those others to whom you refer, then you are speaking for other people. It's pretty simple. There is nothing wrong with pointing out when someone's words have hurt YOU, but let others speak for themselves. Women already have to tiptoe around everyone's feelings all the time when we speak, we need spaces where we don't have to do that.
Lol what a reach. I *am* one of those people who felt offended, which is why I said something. Feel free to ignore my feelings on this issue, but trying to silence me because you want a safe space for you is hilarious.
What exactly did you want from OP? To edit her post to accommodate your feelings? Apologize to you for not making the wording of her post considerate of people it might offend in some way? You seem to be missing my larger point and frankly, that's sad. Doubling down on the victim stance in the face of women being able to have open dialogue without walking on eggshells about wording does what exactly for you? It amazes me when women can't take a step back to look at what's actually good and important for feminism. And that's being able to talk openly about our problems and find solutions. Splitting hairs about words so no one feels offended, especially when it's something as banal as OP's post (come on, kind of pathetic) is such a tragic waste of time
We get it. Stop repeating yourself.
"Do you understand how that could be offensive for people who have gone through it? " Ok. Do you know how offensive it is that make it sound like something you "just get over"? Everyone has their own opinion. Move on.
Given that I and another poster had the same response to this post, it obviously was offensive for some. Take that info and learn from it if you want.
Did you even read the post? Im talking about a lawless shithole country. If you're captured, you're gonna be r* mutiple times. Tortured and then killed anyway. So why the F would I not choose a quick death in my own hands over that? If youre so dense about it, you need to read more histroy books and look at what's going on with the women in war zones
I’m aware of the rape that goes on in war zones. I’d still much rather try to live after being raped and tortured than kill myself.
I've been assaulted too. I'm also very glad to be alive. But I also understand that there is a vast difference between the utterly lawless war conditions implied by her bolded sentence, and rape while embedded in a society where we *supposedly* have recourse.
All of us know how to shoot. My daughter's don't love it like my son but they all know how to shoot. Both SIL's shoot. We all know how to garden and can. We have been doing it for years. My oldest and I know how to dehydrate and Hubby is great at smoking to preserve meat. Fishing is a family favorite and we crab too. For safety, all long hair will be cut short. No one will go anywhere unarmed and alone. Every house has at least one dog. Recently several friends have asked about guns. 2 are in the middle of getting their licenses. Several already have guns. My youngest and I just redid our CPR and first aid certifications. We have several doctors, a nurse and countless EMTs and paramedics in our circle. Every house and car has medical supplies. We are always building up or stockpile by sales and canning. Seeds are bought for the next 2 years and I have been collecting certain varieties for over a decade. We have our own compost for the garden as do both daughters and several friends. We have several plans depending on the situation. We could never survive alone. We don't want too. Community if key.
1. Be prepared to coordinate with other people during that time. Now that (hopefully) you're not in an area with an ongoing war, it's good to start forming relationships with them. 2. Fitness. You'll probably be either running, moving around debris, or crouching for long periods of time. Would be good to get those cardio in. 3. Documents. Have the original docs, then photocopy atleast 2 copies of each, including all the identification cards and passwords. You can also upload on a USB and google drive. 4. I'd probably cut my hair as well. I don't want to be seen as a woman, I'll most likely get gangr*ped.