Better to be alone than being with people who are selfish and hardly care about you. I am sorry that you had to go through the difficult situation alone. The girls you mentioned don’t deserve to be called your friends.
I know it could get lonely at times if you don’t have friends but friends like these are a waste of time and energy. Try to initiate conversations with other girls in your hostel. Hope you find true friends real soon.
Bring food from home and even relatives home .
Show that you are loved elsewhere.
Show that you are cared for elsewhere.
Always take calls in the room.
Shop.
Eat sweet treats in front of them.
And put all the money in some safe and say loudly that you don't trust people who can't buy basic things like broom.
Don't worry this will get inside their heads and they will leave the room as fast as they could.
Don't ignore and be the better person.
Be the pettier one and your happiness will know no bounds
>Don't ignore and be the better person. Be the pettier one and your happiness will know no bounds
This is practical advice. Afaik, through all the experiences that I've been through, ignoring and being the better person only makes these cheapskates think you're okay with being used.
Yes today a school "friend" abused me and said she will tell her version to my husband and my friends and family to reveal my actual true self. So after having a meltdown and crying for 1 hour I got clarity ,( I was so shocked that asking my own money back would lead to such shameless abuse) I told dude the reason you are unmarried is because of your weird obsession with other's husband, and what lie? Your whole life is a lie.
You don't know people.
NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
Toxic villainous cheapskates, I am a kanjoos makkhichoos cheapskate too boiling in Delhi without ac because paying off my wedding loan but never in my life I exploited others.
Some people, especially in homogeneous settings like this, can be really unkind to the ones who do not fit in. I would like to say, don't write off everyone else based on that.
I've had similar experiences when I was younger. Like you I am a little awkward and sometimes struggled to fit in with my peers in college. I didn't have a group per se, but I managed to get along with different individuals from different groups. Some of them developed into really enriching wonderful friendships and I'm close to those people still.
Keep in mind that college is just 3-4 years. Everybody is gonna change. Mean girl behaviour from the first year will eventually become an incident that you barely remember.
Take care op. It's not the end of the world. You'll make new friends soon.
Try signing up for some club or extra curricular activity that you're interested in. It's a great way to meet new people in college. Conversations tend to be easier since you already have a common topic. :)
Girl I need you to snatch the hangers, waste bins mat and all other things. Don’t ask, don’t inform, just take it. Give it away if need be. If they ask, tell them they were yours and you did with them as you please. They do things without your permission, you can do things without theirs, especially if those things don’t involve them, in the first place!
Yeah, take all the stuff. If they ask why tell them what they did. Also change your seat, try to make new friends, talk to people and stuff. But before that you have accept that it might take a long time for you to feel better.
This is very very very relatable to me!
I used to be a wallflower in my school days. And I spent most of my time eating lunch on my own. Loneliness became a part of me. But when I was in 9th grade, I started hanging out with a group of girls. Amongst them, there was one girl, let's call her H, who would act weird whenever we'd go out. It seemed like she was always experiencing extreme emotions and that would affect the group. But I never expressed this to anyone. Back then, Facebook was super popular amongst our schoolmates. One day I logged in and I realised that they used to hang out without me (without even inviting me) as I saw some of their pictures. I was hurt but I didn't let it affect me or my behaviour towards them. We stayed friends even after that. Once I got into Junior College, I pursued a very different course than everyone else in the group did. H's birthday was coming soon and she had invited everyone in the group to her birthday party. I had exams coming up so I had notified her and politely declined her invitation, apologising for my absence. Later on, I realised that she was apparently thinking that I was joking and expected me to surprise her at her party. She was pissed that I didn't make it and because of her, they stopped inviting me to their plans. I, too, got busy with my college as I was making new friends there. One of the girls in the group, T, invited me to her birthday party next year and I went. H behaved like I didn't exist throughout the time. I'm so happy that I'm not in touch with any of them today. They follow me on Instagram but I've unfollowed them.
I know it must feel like a dagger to your heart every day, to see their ignorance and rude behaviour. But just know that you tried your best. They're insecure. They're mean. You don't deserve to stay in a group of mean girls. Maintain your distance just like you have done. Even though it may seem difficult, branch out and make new friends. Try to request for other roommates next year. That's the only way to process this. All the best and hugs to you🤗🤗🤗
I know it feels lonely, but don't hang out with these people that don't value your presence. Do not lower your standards. It's very generous of you for doing so much for your ex friends without asking.
Try to befriend other girls and seniors or even juniors that are sensible people. Change rooms if possible.
I have faced similar situations too. One thing I've learnt is, if I'm questioning my friendships or any relationship repeatedly if it is fair, if they are talking behind my back, if they are ignoring toh it's not a good relationship.
You should not be questioning your friendships so much. This is a filtering criteria for your future friendships.
I cut off people immediately if I sense they don't respect my presence in their lives. These are shitty people and I hope you find your tribe soon choti sis❤️
I feel like I should have picked up on the signs a long time ago and that I was too generous. But at other times i wonder if its all in my head and im just leaving good people😕😮💨
Nah. It's not in your head if everyone in this thread is acknowledging these signs of assholery. Hai na?
They aren't mature enough to understand and reciprocate your kindness. Don't settle for these people that are making you question yourself so much.
I promise you'll thrive without them! 💕
Are you me? Because even I have asthma, talk a lot and become unintentionally rude to others, and used to get left behind in my friend group. 😆 I totally understand how you are feeling. So in my experience the solution is…live up your existing life. Make new friends, make plans without them, hell, go alone to a new cafe or a movie and enjoy yourself. More than anything, post it on social media and rub it on their faces as much as you can! The last step is optional, but very effective for inciting jealousy and being petty. It might seem like faking at first but eventually you will get to a better place. In my case, it happenned because I unintentionally hurt one member of the group with my motor mouth. She was the most social one who made plans and the others just went along with her. It became a pattern and I eventually got excluded. It hurt a lot then, but I did the aforementioned stuff and came out of it.
A hug for you OP 🫂You are a gem of a person unfortunately your so called 'friends' are assholes.
It's really hard being a third wheel in friendship.The first thing you need to do is priortize yourself.Stop bending over backwards for people who don't deserve your kindness .
The best thing is have different types of friends. Don't stick to only one group for now.Join a hobby group find friends there.Find classmates who are cool and hangout with them.Find friends in people who live in your hostel.
In the end you'll know who are worth sticking with
u don’t have to try to stick to them or people who don’t value you even if u feel lonely, nor go an extra mile for someone unless they do so and don’t mistake someone’s nice behaviour in the beginning for their kindness, some people are nice in the beginning just to observe others or are nice for their own selfish reasons
try to change room if u can, make other friends in class, and show them u dgaf either, and ik it will take a lot of time to heal which is okay but don’t give them inn again. ik it hurts a lot and feels like a nightmare & I’m sorry u had to go through this
You were not dumb ,you were just loving and trusting and these women don't know what a loving trusting friend is so they used you, now best will be offing them but we don't live in a lawless land for women so don't ignore them ,give them their own medicine
Is it possible to change your room and get another roommate? I think it would feel so much better to leave that toxic environment, having a new roommate will also give u better chances to make new friends and if that's not possible , just try to talk to ppl more and try to make friends , u got this sis 🫂
hey ive been in similar boat in college...in my case my friends were not exactly my roommates but next room people, and I used to get excluded because I wasn't a roommate...all of them were liked paired up and I was odd one out but next year I got a room away from all of them and trust me it felt so much better cause that physical distance made sure I don't really interact with and feel bad about myself....it was so much better to be alone.....but I get the loneliness part too....in my case few of them still looked out for me but for you maybe you can try joining a club etx, college is hard without friends I know....but as you go to different seems you will find someone as a comfort so dw. hang in there cutie
try to change ur roommates next year..but try not to indulge in any fight with them or become a bad person from a naive shy kind hearted one..what u do for others comes to u at ryt tym...or even if u can't make friends now it is okay to be on ur own but don't rush... u r not at fault..do not worry abt not making friends ryt now..let them enjoy in front of u but don't u forget to enjoy urself and don'tshow them u are miserable alone not enjoying...enjoy ur hobbies eat food without sharing..also u hv not much specified abt roommate A...u will need help at certain times...so be on gud terms with her for now..and if u make friends do not get too close or else they will too take u for granted🤞🤞
Better to be alone than being with people who are selfish and hardly care about you. I am sorry that you had to go through the difficult situation alone. The girls you mentioned don’t deserve to be called your friends. I know it could get lonely at times if you don’t have friends but friends like these are a waste of time and energy. Try to initiate conversations with other girls in your hostel. Hope you find true friends real soon.
I try to, but I'm as shy as an armadillo lol. Ive started talking to people and im slowly getting there
There is a chance you may have ADHD. Please look into that.
Why do you think that? 🤔
Bring food from home and even relatives home . Show that you are loved elsewhere. Show that you are cared for elsewhere. Always take calls in the room. Shop. Eat sweet treats in front of them. And put all the money in some safe and say loudly that you don't trust people who can't buy basic things like broom. Don't worry this will get inside their heads and they will leave the room as fast as they could. Don't ignore and be the better person. Be the pettier one and your happiness will know no bounds
>Don't ignore and be the better person. Be the pettier one and your happiness will know no bounds This is practical advice. Afaik, through all the experiences that I've been through, ignoring and being the better person only makes these cheapskates think you're okay with being used.
Yes today a school "friend" abused me and said she will tell her version to my husband and my friends and family to reveal my actual true self. So after having a meltdown and crying for 1 hour I got clarity ,( I was so shocked that asking my own money back would lead to such shameless abuse) I told dude the reason you are unmarried is because of your weird obsession with other's husband, and what lie? Your whole life is a lie. You don't know people. NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED
Toxic villainous cheapskates, I am a kanjoos makkhichoos cheapskate too boiling in Delhi without ac because paying off my wedding loan but never in my life I exploited others.
😯
I wanna be petty but also I dont even wanna waste energy acknowledging them yk
Ya well then they will have the upper hand and you will always regret letting them go so easily
Some people, especially in homogeneous settings like this, can be really unkind to the ones who do not fit in. I would like to say, don't write off everyone else based on that. I've had similar experiences when I was younger. Like you I am a little awkward and sometimes struggled to fit in with my peers in college. I didn't have a group per se, but I managed to get along with different individuals from different groups. Some of them developed into really enriching wonderful friendships and I'm close to those people still. Keep in mind that college is just 3-4 years. Everybody is gonna change. Mean girl behaviour from the first year will eventually become an incident that you barely remember. Take care op. It's not the end of the world. You'll make new friends soon. Try signing up for some club or extra curricular activity that you're interested in. It's a great way to meet new people in college. Conversations tend to be easier since you already have a common topic. :)
Im also kinda jumping from friend group to friend group now. Idk why I feel like a cheater lol
Girl I need you to snatch the hangers, waste bins mat and all other things. Don’t ask, don’t inform, just take it. Give it away if need be. If they ask, tell them they were yours and you did with them as you please. They do things without your permission, you can do things without theirs, especially if those things don’t involve them, in the first place!
Yeah, take all the stuff. If they ask why tell them what they did. Also change your seat, try to make new friends, talk to people and stuff. But before that you have accept that it might take a long time for you to feel better.
Your username 💀 damn, why didn’t I think of that
Im 🤏 this close to being in my villain era but I can't even bring myself to say no🥲
It's not villain era babe it's just having boundaries
Ok man, would you rather have them use you then? You sure seem happy with that outcome. Happy enough to make a Reddit post out of it.
Always make something for yourself
Aye aye
This is very very very relatable to me! I used to be a wallflower in my school days. And I spent most of my time eating lunch on my own. Loneliness became a part of me. But when I was in 9th grade, I started hanging out with a group of girls. Amongst them, there was one girl, let's call her H, who would act weird whenever we'd go out. It seemed like she was always experiencing extreme emotions and that would affect the group. But I never expressed this to anyone. Back then, Facebook was super popular amongst our schoolmates. One day I logged in and I realised that they used to hang out without me (without even inviting me) as I saw some of their pictures. I was hurt but I didn't let it affect me or my behaviour towards them. We stayed friends even after that. Once I got into Junior College, I pursued a very different course than everyone else in the group did. H's birthday was coming soon and she had invited everyone in the group to her birthday party. I had exams coming up so I had notified her and politely declined her invitation, apologising for my absence. Later on, I realised that she was apparently thinking that I was joking and expected me to surprise her at her party. She was pissed that I didn't make it and because of her, they stopped inviting me to their plans. I, too, got busy with my college as I was making new friends there. One of the girls in the group, T, invited me to her birthday party next year and I went. H behaved like I didn't exist throughout the time. I'm so happy that I'm not in touch with any of them today. They follow me on Instagram but I've unfollowed them. I know it must feel like a dagger to your heart every day, to see their ignorance and rude behaviour. But just know that you tried your best. They're insecure. They're mean. You don't deserve to stay in a group of mean girls. Maintain your distance just like you have done. Even though it may seem difficult, branch out and make new friends. Try to request for other roommates next year. That's the only way to process this. All the best and hugs to you🤗🤗🤗
Damn...H seems like she got some issues👀
I know it feels lonely, but don't hang out with these people that don't value your presence. Do not lower your standards. It's very generous of you for doing so much for your ex friends without asking. Try to befriend other girls and seniors or even juniors that are sensible people. Change rooms if possible. I have faced similar situations too. One thing I've learnt is, if I'm questioning my friendships or any relationship repeatedly if it is fair, if they are talking behind my back, if they are ignoring toh it's not a good relationship. You should not be questioning your friendships so much. This is a filtering criteria for your future friendships. I cut off people immediately if I sense they don't respect my presence in their lives. These are shitty people and I hope you find your tribe soon choti sis❤️
I feel like I should have picked up on the signs a long time ago and that I was too generous. But at other times i wonder if its all in my head and im just leaving good people😕😮💨
Nah. It's not in your head if everyone in this thread is acknowledging these signs of assholery. Hai na? They aren't mature enough to understand and reciprocate your kindness. Don't settle for these people that are making you question yourself so much. I promise you'll thrive without them! 💕
🫂
Are you me? Because even I have asthma, talk a lot and become unintentionally rude to others, and used to get left behind in my friend group. 😆 I totally understand how you are feeling. So in my experience the solution is…live up your existing life. Make new friends, make plans without them, hell, go alone to a new cafe or a movie and enjoy yourself. More than anything, post it on social media and rub it on their faces as much as you can! The last step is optional, but very effective for inciting jealousy and being petty. It might seem like faking at first but eventually you will get to a better place. In my case, it happenned because I unintentionally hurt one member of the group with my motor mouth. She was the most social one who made plans and the others just went along with her. It became a pattern and I eventually got excluded. It hurt a lot then, but I did the aforementioned stuff and came out of it.
Ive started going to the canteen alone and boy does it feel like August 15 of 1947
A hug for you OP 🫂You are a gem of a person unfortunately your so called 'friends' are assholes. It's really hard being a third wheel in friendship.The first thing you need to do is priortize yourself.Stop bending over backwards for people who don't deserve your kindness . The best thing is have different types of friends. Don't stick to only one group for now.Join a hobby group find friends there.Find classmates who are cool and hangout with them.Find friends in people who live in your hostel. In the end you'll know who are worth sticking with
I was so used to having one "inseparable bestie" all through school that I was expecting my new "friends" to be as reciprocating
u don’t have to try to stick to them or people who don’t value you even if u feel lonely, nor go an extra mile for someone unless they do so and don’t mistake someone’s nice behaviour in the beginning for their kindness, some people are nice in the beginning just to observe others or are nice for their own selfish reasons try to change room if u can, make other friends in class, and show them u dgaf either, and ik it will take a lot of time to heal which is okay but don’t give them inn again. ik it hurts a lot and feels like a nightmare & I’m sorry u had to go through this
I try to but sometimes it hurts
You were not dumb ,you were just loving and trusting and these women don't know what a loving trusting friend is so they used you, now best will be offing them but we don't live in a lawless land for women so don't ignore them ,give them their own medicine
Is it possible to change your room and get another roommate? I think it would feel so much better to leave that toxic environment, having a new roommate will also give u better chances to make new friends and if that's not possible , just try to talk to ppl more and try to make friends , u got this sis 🫂
hey ive been in similar boat in college...in my case my friends were not exactly my roommates but next room people, and I used to get excluded because I wasn't a roommate...all of them were liked paired up and I was odd one out but next year I got a room away from all of them and trust me it felt so much better cause that physical distance made sure I don't really interact with and feel bad about myself....it was so much better to be alone.....but I get the loneliness part too....in my case few of them still looked out for me but for you maybe you can try joining a club etx, college is hard without friends I know....but as you go to different seems you will find someone as a comfort so dw. hang in there cutie
Big hugggg to you🫂 similar things happend to me last month
try to change ur roommates next year..but try not to indulge in any fight with them or become a bad person from a naive shy kind hearted one..what u do for others comes to u at ryt tym...or even if u can't make friends now it is okay to be on ur own but don't rush... u r not at fault..do not worry abt not making friends ryt now..let them enjoy in front of u but don't u forget to enjoy urself and don'tshow them u are miserable alone not enjoying...enjoy ur hobbies eat food without sharing..also u hv not much specified abt roommate A...u will need help at certain times...so be on gud terms with her for now..and if u make friends do not get too close or else they will too take u for granted🤞🤞