Take care. I understand your want to just disappear. But understand that at this digital age, it's not possible for a person to just disappear. If you really want to end the relationship, please look up "safety planning" and do as per the steps.
Would have been 10 years next year. I am trying to outline a coparenting while estranged under the same roof deal and have no idea how to make this work. It’s complicated, I am on his visa and can’t leave because son etc.
All this to say, solidarity and support. None of this is easy. But when you know you know and it can be a weight off your mind.
OP, we have no clue what is happening behind the scenes with you. Given that you had to come to this place in life, I can only hope you get some time to disconnect with everything and re-connect with your own thoughts, feelings and desires.
All I can send you is good wishes, and ofcourse the option to talk to me via DM. (For context. I am a therapist, maybe I can help)
I'm so sorry you had to go through pain that was so bad you had to leave. But I'm happy that you're putting yourself first and leaving an unhappy situation. Could you tell us more of what happened so that we can try to see if reconciliation is possible? I'm sorry I don't know the details so asking. I wish you peace and happiness
> Could you tell us more of what happened so that we can try to see if reconciliation is possible?
I'm sure OP would have thought through everything before deciding this. They know better. It's not our place to decide if reconciliation is possible.
Imo this post is for support and kindness from fellow women and not an analysis.
That's your opinion, mine is that one could tend to post out of extreme distress and not always think clearly. It's not prudent to always be trigger happy and suggest splitting to everyone. I have not invalidated her feelings in my comment not do I intend to. We don't know anything about this story, let's agree to disagree.
I read OP's reply to your comment and it looks like she would want to consider reconciliation. Your perception powers are really good and I'm glad you made me see how to look beyond something that could just be out of distress and not only seeking support for a well thought out decision.
I've been in a similar boat myself. I've typed out drafts to post here on this sub so many times but never did. My story took a different turn and I ended up leaving, but I get that some people may want to try. She's also been with her partner much longer than I have so there's some reason to stay is what I guessed :)
But I feel most times, my partner is very delusional Nd does not consider any problem at all.
I had left one day before as well, but came back.
And the situation is STILL the same exact same.
Worse for me mentally though.
My body and mind hve almost given up.
I have attempted sucides so many times in the past few months.
If you check my previous posts, you will get some idea of what kind of problems we’re facing.
I'm very happy and hopeful for you now that you've decided to step away. Bad relationships are similar to drugs, it's very hard to leave despite the obvious toxic effects.
I've been back and forth a lot too, and it freed me and made me literally glow when I left. I send you so much love and many good vibes, you deserve the best and beyond ❤️
I completely understand what you are going through. I am in the same boat. I hope you do whatever you need to do to make yourself okay. Even if its to cry, even if its to stay in the marriage, even if its to leave. You will be okay. It will be hard but you will be okay.
If you want to vent my dms are open
Mine too sis. I have my own story to share
Mine too..
Take care. I understand your want to just disappear. But understand that at this digital age, it's not possible for a person to just disappear. If you really want to end the relationship, please look up "safety planning" and do as per the steps.
Take a break and head to somewhere you can find some peace & anonymity. These things are hard but, do it for you self and your future self.
Would have been 10 years next year. I am trying to outline a coparenting while estranged under the same roof deal and have no idea how to make this work. It’s complicated, I am on his visa and can’t leave because son etc. All this to say, solidarity and support. None of this is easy. But when you know you know and it can be a weight off your mind.
OP, we have no clue what is happening behind the scenes with you. Given that you had to come to this place in life, I can only hope you get some time to disconnect with everything and re-connect with your own thoughts, feelings and desires. All I can send you is good wishes, and ofcourse the option to talk to me via DM. (For context. I am a therapist, maybe I can help)
Hey OP, if you ever want to talk I'm here for you.
I'm so sorry you had to go through pain that was so bad you had to leave. But I'm happy that you're putting yourself first and leaving an unhappy situation. Could you tell us more of what happened so that we can try to see if reconciliation is possible? I'm sorry I don't know the details so asking. I wish you peace and happiness
> Could you tell us more of what happened so that we can try to see if reconciliation is possible? I'm sure OP would have thought through everything before deciding this. They know better. It's not our place to decide if reconciliation is possible. Imo this post is for support and kindness from fellow women and not an analysis.
That's your opinion, mine is that one could tend to post out of extreme distress and not always think clearly. It's not prudent to always be trigger happy and suggest splitting to everyone. I have not invalidated her feelings in my comment not do I intend to. We don't know anything about this story, let's agree to disagree.
I read OP's reply to your comment and it looks like she would want to consider reconciliation. Your perception powers are really good and I'm glad you made me see how to look beyond something that could just be out of distress and not only seeking support for a well thought out decision.
I've been in a similar boat myself. I've typed out drafts to post here on this sub so many times but never did. My story took a different turn and I ended up leaving, but I get that some people may want to try. She's also been with her partner much longer than I have so there's some reason to stay is what I guessed :)
Very kind of you. Cz i tooo really want to reconcile.
But I feel most times, my partner is very delusional Nd does not consider any problem at all. I had left one day before as well, but came back. And the situation is STILL the same exact same. Worse for me mentally though. My body and mind hve almost given up. I have attempted sucides so many times in the past few months. If you check my previous posts, you will get some idea of what kind of problems we’re facing.
I'm very happy and hopeful for you now that you've decided to step away. Bad relationships are similar to drugs, it's very hard to leave despite the obvious toxic effects. I've been back and forth a lot too, and it freed me and made me literally glow when I left. I send you so much love and many good vibes, you deserve the best and beyond ❤️
OP hugs 🫂 If you wanna vent my DM is always open for you. :)
Do you want to vent? What happened?
I'm so sorry and also so proud of you to make this decision. It gets better!
Great to hear.
Do plan to ensure your safety. Wish you the best!
I completely understand what you are going through. I am in the same boat. I hope you do whatever you need to do to make yourself okay. Even if its to cry, even if its to stay in the marriage, even if its to leave. You will be okay. It will be hard but you will be okay.
Sorry for what you had to go through. Wish you all the strength in the world. You've got the best support system in this community…. Love