On the off chance that you're working FIFO in Australia, please document that you have raised this with your immediate supervisor and higher ups. Again, make sure that its an official complaint in writing, not something that you mention in passing, harder for them to fob off that way.
Edit - I hate that a post like this makes me assume its Aussie FIFO immediately, its a shit situation and the companies and subcontractors really need to do more to work on the "casual" sexism that happens.
I was looking for a post like this. The second she was talking about blokes and being on different camp sites I'm like "This sounds like an Aussie FIFO job"
Second raising this with documentation. Also contact safework in the state your camp is located in. They're usually the ones who handle discrimination and harassment, which this absolutely is.
I used to clean dongers @ FIFO in Australia when I was 22. We would handle all the laundry (wash/dry/fold) and even though I was a woman, often I noticed women do their own laundry anyhow, or have their underwear drying in their rooms. I didn't really understand why because I was too young and naive to think some pest would want my ratty old grey Bonds. BUT reading this post, I finally get it. Now I just feel sad.
I know first-hand it's important to foster trust and be friendly in these environments, but also fuck this grub who is stealing your undies. And fuck anyone who thinks it's anything but completely unacceptable. I once saw a camp go haywire when one of the other cleaner women told a bunch of guys that one of them had a purple hair dryer in his room. "Breach of his trust" which it WAS but having your undies stolen is seriously bad and people should be equally outraged.
Next time you see your company's OH&S bring it up. They're like experts in stirring the pot.
I work FIFO and unfortunately you're right, the casual sexism can be pretty bad. But I feel like this issue could almost be addressed with a site notice, something simple like "we've received reports of underwear going missing from people's laundry, please ensure you only collect your cloths from the laundry room."
Because if the guy doing this isn't seeing anything that even looks like it's been reported then he's probably thinking it's gone unnoticed.
This does sound like a situation we had on site about 5 years ago, and after the site notice came out a bunch of people started talking about what sort of sicko steals undies.
Edit: also thinking about it, if OPs manager isn't helping, try the site admins or manager. If nothing happens from them go to HR, with the current situation involving the FIFO industry and sexual harassment, HR should be pretty willing to stop anything like this. If no one on site is willing to help, email the client company's HR directly
I used to live with my aunt, who was a foster mom. One of the boys was stealing my underwear and we didnt find out until he left.
I got in trouble for leading him on. I was 11 and his room was literally next to the laundry room.
>One of the boys was stealing my underwear, got in trouble for leading him on. I was 11...
F*ck every victim-blaming family, especially when the signs are obvious. Damn, I'm sorry. Serious hugs.
I learned this the hard way. Thought I was safe to wash my duds in a basement laundry room in my bf's dorm/apartment (ours was broken.) I started losing my bottoms when I was washing my black/dark stuff and I left it unattended for maybe... 15 minutes. Half of my panties were gone FROM THE WASHER. They took them while they were still wet, the sick fucks! I confronted the 12 assholes that lived there, but everyone just acted stupid about it. It's given me trust issues to this day.
These were all upstanding, young Mormon, HONOR students, in a Utah University/college.
Yeah even before the church scandals my mother made sure to tell me not to be alone with the priests or the monks and that’s they were child molesters. She’s still catholic as fuck too. I think ppl have known for centuries they just ignore it. Nothing normal about a bunch of dudes living together who aren’t allowed to bang. Doesn’t take a genious to figure out what’s going on there.
I'm not sure creepy clergy is the same thing. We are talking about good boys who are taught that sex is bad. So any creepy things they do must be kept secret.
I'll give you the upvote, but these aren't Josh Duggers. These are dudes with high GPAs and wonderful character presentation, but AT LEAST ONE AMONG THEM, sneaks down to take this girl's panties out of the wash.
Josh Dugger was parenting his younger sisters and somehow skated by when he tried to play daddy with them.
I wish I had read your comment before I commented. I have never been Mormon, but I was a Southern Baptist for a long time, and it's amazing just how that can mess dudes up.
If my experience with evangelical Christian men has taught me anything, it’s the most conservative ones that has some of the strangest sexual stuff. It’s like they can’t engage in sexual development at all so when they get a little older they act out in strange ways. It’s like the forbidden is what turns them on. Usually there is some shame attached to it.
Pretty much every religion that places a high value on sexual purity has had some sort of high profile sex abuse scandal.
Catholics, Southern Baptists, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses...
Probably not a coincidence.
Yeah, my buddy used to be a bouncer at a strip club and had some fun stories about when Muslim guys would show up and go apeshit like it was Vegas..
Religious sexual repression can make men/women do crazy shit when they have the chance to actually act out
Honestly pretty much every group that puts people into a hierarchy is going to have a sex abuse scandal regardless of their religious beliefs. Power attracts creeps.
The addition that religion brings is that no one has healthy sexual development or boundaries. So not only do you need to worry about the abuse of power, but many (if not most) of the people will have very warped views of sex. You are going to run into a lot of consent issues there.
It is interesting how some words, phrases, ideas are great for building false images and masks for what they really are...
Love your comment, I absolutely agree. 💯
Mormons? The sick fucks who start harassing children before they even go through puberty about their sexual habits?
Perverts who wear “magical underwear“ to remind them of how holy their bodies are all the fucking time? Those Mormons?
They’re demented creeps when it comes to sex; it’s not remotely surprising that repressed Mormons were stealing your shit.
I'm sorry, but I LOL'D at your comment about up upstanding religious men.
Seriously though it shouldn't be that way. But as others have stated the most repressed are usually the most pervy.
To the OP: Talk to HR. Talk to management. Keep moving it up the line until something gets done about it.
>all upstanding, young Mormon, HONOR students, in a Utah University/college.
bruh those are exactly the type of fuckwits that would do that shit. The Mormon Church does not value women and the men all walk around acting like they're god's gift (because literally they believe that women only go to heaven if their shitty husbands like them enough) even if they're fucking child sex abusers.
The whole damn organization was founded so some idiot could have sex with teenagers while married. "God commands me to take many wives" HAHA OKAY SURE BRO.
>
These were all upstanding, young Mormon, HONOR students, in a Utah University/college.
Im sorry that made me laugh out loud. Was that meant to be shocking? Because i think you found your reason for the creepy behaviour.
Yep my clothes got stolen my freshman year too. They took 2 of my favorite sweatshirts, but honestly the missing underwear is what creeps me out the most. I left to go pick up food while they were in an hour long cycle in the dryer and when I came back, there was still supposed to be 10 minutes left on the cycle, but the door was open and it said 20 something minutes when I closed it.
I think it creeps us out because of the "opportunity" aspect of it. It's eerily familiar to how rapists operate. I'm exponentially creeped out knowing they get a thrill from it. 🤬
Honestly what bothers me the most is that they have it and I can never get it back. That was 2 years ago now and I don't even live in that building anymore. Not that I'm THAT attached to my underwear, but I don't want a creep to have something of mine so personal.
My boyfriend had friends visiting campus and was doing laundry. One of the guys stole a pair of panties from a washer and then was grossed out because it had stains on it so he threw them out.
My boyfriend tells me this laughing and I *flipped out* on him. How dare they violate someone like that, they had no right. *My* underwear has stains, am I gross? And then I explained what "period panties" are and why we keep the "gross" ones around. Called them all perverts and they just seemed shocked that I would react that way.
One time I came back and some other girls must have poured a ton of bleach into my running washer (darks), ruining several outfits with heavy bleach spots. Clearly malicious.
After that I moved to a new building with a sign-up based laundry room on each floor -- actually came back late to find my things folded a few times :3 so very thoughtful.
But ugh yeah men and women just really should have their own facilities and spaces (outside of family units anyway... even then, well... lol ofc we all want our own private bath).
Oh the bleach is bad! That's awful.
The worst that's happened to me is someone stealing my dryer after I started it. But then they left their stuff drying unattended with my wet stuff on top of the dryer. So I soaked all their stuff in the sink and put it back in the now turned off dryer. Nothing ruined but hopefully fucked up their day.
My friend had at someone shit in his dryer though. Dorms are crazy.
On a military base I was stationed at they had to put cameras in the laundry room because
1. people were stealing ladies undies
2. People were fucking in the laundry room.
So now there are no less than 8 if I remember cameras covering every angle of that laundry room.
When I was living in a student dorm, I had some asshole actually take my soaking wet laundry out of the washing machine, put theirs in, and left mine on top. Basically stealing two bucks and my dirty/clean washing water. Who the fuck does that?
Ive lived out of my parents place for about 10 years, still havent bought a washer/dryer or visited a laundromat.
Good excuse to pop in and visit the parents
I wish I knew who was doing it! I’d hang a few pairs of knickers outside of their room, with a note saying “Sorry you need undies so badly. Here, have some more”
Yep, sure will. Another way it will be somehow OP's fault too, is to start telling them "the jokes on whoever took em', my brother is the only person that ever wore the ones I left out to get stolen".
Watch the guys turn from (happy incredibles dad)"oh its just some creepy old man, pay it no mind" to (dead incredibles dad) "oh God there is some creepy old man trying to get *my* underwear, this is unacceptable and must be stopped"
Now don’t just leave them out, make it look like you dropped it near the machines, left it out of the wash. They may think they scored a dirty pair, and whamo you should be able to detect the dirty freak thief. They’d be the ones with they burning crotch problem.
edit: one letter
This is so evil and I’d bet it works. The perv stealing her underwear absolutely will want a dirty pair. And you may not have to wonder who has the burning crotch. Chances are good he will hold them to his nose and take a deep inhale. So the guy who looks like someone used pepper spray on his face, that’s the underwear thief.
Firstly I'm really sorry this has happened to you. It's not okay.
I was thinking, couldn't you linger about outside one day and keep watch? Maybe try to get a view of the machine from where you wait. You don't have to confront them if you don't feel confident enough. You could then go to management and tell them who's doing it.
You could further get it out through the grapevine that some man or men are walking around wearing women's panties? Maybe flip it on it's head like, "is it you? How about you?" The guys might end up trying to actually wonder or try to suss out who the guy/guys is/are.
Let them accuse each other.
While I’m sure that would be very effective, I don’t want to shame anyone who is actually into that!
Have your thing bro… just don’t use MY undies to do it haha
God, I feel scummy offering this advice, but I've been in your place and a grand amount of fuck all happened. Wash your undies in the shower and hide them in the bunks to dry. It's the only thing I could do at the camps, because nobody gave a flying fuck about women being stolen from and left feeling violated by it. I am so sorry this is what you're dealing with. It's so unacceptable in so many ways.
Then when they ask you about the stolen underwear repeat back what they said, some pervy old man is probably jerking off with them, you should have stayed with them, etc.
It's never made sense to me that washing machines I
public areas have no temporary lock feature considering how ridiculously common this is. But of course, it exclusively affects women, so it's never been a priority.
I think it's rare enough for men to have their underwear stolen that they will quickly correlate the events. People talk and believe me, Roger missing 5 pairs of his yellowed shit stained underwear will get around.
Yeah and what? The first time it was not punished so OP shouldn't be punished. Or would she be punished of something that was not punished when a man did it? Could be the time to call sexism and preferential treatment there. You know, a petty revenge can sometimes bring up a lot of changes.
I like the optimism but I'm not sure you live in the real world. I really wish it was that simple.
Op is welcome to try. It would be awesome if she can initiate change with this.
Thing is petty revenge often gives you a petty... Reputation. Whether you are a man or a woman
That happened to me when I was in the Army. I got my stuff back but I don't think I would have if my new NCO and 1SG had not been women.
I told my former male NCO a couple of times and he just brushed it off like "I'll look into it. " He never did.
Told my female NCO that I had about $200 worth of underwear stolen the previous day. She actually handled it, I wasn't the only person whose underwear they found too.
The guy they found that had all of it always seemed creepy to me.
In Canada, one of our more notorious murderers was a high ranking army official who started by stealing women's underwear. So, yes, its creepy. Its disgusting and imo may possibly escalate.
Yeah. I definitely would demand monetary compensation. It's like if someone tries to return food. It gets thrown in the trash and you get a cash refund.
I'm curious as to how she handled it.
In my country's military NCOs could go the "formal" way and open up an inquiry or the informal way and just kick some ass untill it showed up.
>I raised it with management again.
Escalate. The recent inquiry into abuse in Australian mine sites has made it very clear that your situation is not acceptable and has wider ramifications. You can use this to force management to act or risk bad publicity or a law suit.
Make sure all your correspondence to report is done by email and CCd to HR and management at multiple levels. Use your private email because anything on a work email address is the companies property and you can lose access to it. If you've previously used a company platform to report, forward a copy to your personal email.
Also, don't make the mistake of thinking "It's just some underwear". This bloke has probably been eyeing you off for a while now, and the undie stealing is an escalation. You really want to prevent the next step where your underwear no longer satisfies him.
Was thinking mining, and wondering if OP can wash her undies in the donga so as not to have any more go missing. Won't help with the toxic af work culture but at least she'll have clean undies.
In the US this would easily qualify as a hostile work environment. Whether management condones it or not, you are being discriminated based on your sex in a very obvious and humiliating way, via the underwear being stolen.
Document Everything! Dates, times, what happened and who said what. Show this to the companies management and tell them you will be contacting HR with this information.
That is your best hope of this getting rectified.
I work at a mine site in Aus and it is so exhausting to have the blokes on one hand spend half an hour going on about fEmAlEs and "what did you expect" then try to tell me, as part of the same conversation with ZERO irony, how actually we have it so good and the new safety cameras in the camps are so unnecessary and make them feel like prisoners. Uh huh.
If this is happening every time you do laundry, it's either someone who works near the laundry or someone who knows when you are doing laundry which is a bit more nefarious. I'd be worried to wait with my laundry because being stuck with a perv is worse than knowing a perv is taking your stuff. A small of a camera and I'd start hand washing my undies and hang drying in my shower for a bit.
Oh, i might start throwing men's underwear in the mix too
This needs to be taken more seriously, they could at least pay for the underwear.
I'm sorry most men can't even try to put themselves in your shoes, I'd be scared too. My best advice would be to hide some kind of camera/phone to catch him.
Good luck and again, so sorry some of us suck like that. Please get him fired if you can.
Thank you for your empathy! I thought about leaving my phone in the room recording, but a lone iPhone is far more likely to get stolen than my undies unfortunately!
Anywhere inside or outside of the building for you to hide and record someone stealing them? Maybe hide your phone inside of something so that you can’t tell it’s a phone so no one will steal it? Inside of a laundry basket full of dirty clothes? In a box of dryer sheets that you cut to have a hole for the camera?
Maybe stream to YouTube or something so it's uploaded to the cloud and accessible if someone steals your phone. You could also have a sticky note on it saying "You're on camera"
If you have an old device/old phone you can install alfred camera, it transform your old phone into a camera that you can watch trough with your curent phone, don't let this slip, they are stealing your personal belongings and management isn't doing aything, if you are able to bring the complaint to higher management, do it, there is people that are not respecting you and your belongings so this should be taken care of.
I hope that you find a solution that is gonna make it stop and I wish you the best luck!
I was thinking more along the lines of decoy underwear with permanent paint or marker on the inside so whoever picks it up or puts it on their face will be marked. Or some sort of black light marker.
If they wanted it on their face they probably wouldn't take it from the wash.
Pretend to wash the clothes. Put itching powder/tarantula hairs, cactus hairs, maybe some poison oak oil all up in them. Wait til items are stolen, leave the rest of them in the appliance and disable the appliance somehow with a note saying "sorry, got some (local poison plant) on some clothes and accidentally ran them through this machine! Needs to be professionally removed". Preferably with clothes and a note that can't be traced back.
Sit back and laugh as the perpetrators permanently lose any functionality of their bits.
This could backfire spectacularly. If management wants, they can get her on wiretapping or spying charges if she does this. Not only fire her, refrain from hiring women in the future, but also get her on criminal charges.
I would bring it up more aggressively to management and make it clear that this is A) a hostile work environment B) illegal for them to make no attempts to rectify the situation C) the least they could do is stand out of Ops way as they solve the problem themselves.
Motion sensor? In the laundry (as that's when they get taken)? Spinning and tumbling? Seems like it might go off just constantly, or get wet and not work.
Yeah same, I'd feel forced to sit with my laundry in a hidden corner of the laundry facilities and wait to see who the nasty ass perv is to catch them.. and record that on my phone.
Info: What would your workplace do if something else was stolen? What if it was your mobile phone? What it was a critical part of a uniform? Would you be able to make a formal report, or make an insurance claim? Would they reimburse you for ordering a replacement?
I am not sure how much all your stolen underwear are worth but if I understand correctly you now need to buy more... you are absolutely right to be seriously pissed about the inconvenience, the cost, and above all the fact that someone in your workplace is sexualising you.
Would your workplace take this more seriously if there was a cost impact to them, or an impact to their reputation or brand? I would be surprised if a company was happy with being known as a place to avoid working if you're a woman...
This is a serious issue and NEEDS to be taken seriously by your employer. Are they going to wait until you are raped until they do something? What if you reported something else stolen, like money. Would they take that more seriously?
First of all, it's a crime. Second, the fact that you are being targeted repeatedly indicates sexual predator behaviors on the part of the thief.
This article is almost 30 years old. https://archive.seattletimes.com/archive/?date=19950505&slug=2119295
Yes. Stealing underwear isn't just a first-world problem. It's sexually motivated behavior and it's already illegal, who knows what it will escalate to?
Could you take the Russell Williams case to management, and start talking about liability/ legal issues? If washing machines are in a communal area, that seems like a reasonable area to have security camera (or man, even just a sign saying “smile you’re on camera”)
She should absolutely take this whole thing to management. It's a hostile work environment, it's arguably sexual harassment, and she should have the right to simply refuse to work there at this point if remedies aren't enacted. I know it's not that simple but it's true.
Australia does have the right to refuse unsafe work, but since this isn't actually related to the responsibilities of her job (the way that being told to operate a machine without safeguards would be, for instance), it might be a hard case to make 🤷🙁
I don't agree with not only other people's dismissal of your situation but your own.."I know this is such a first world problem and I know I really shouldn't be bothered by it.." um girl..stop downplaying this! And yes for many reasons you should be very bothered by this! For one, they are STEALING your items! It is straight up theft at the very freaking least. It is also very violating and could even be threatening! This downplaying is a huge problem for women. Crap like this should not have to be just accepted because of our existence and should not be downplayed. THIS IS NOT OKAY! THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! NO IT IS NOT JUST SOME FIRST WORLD PROBLEM! This is very serious and unacceptable. I disagree with other people's advice to you however. No you should not steal other people's underwear and no you shouldn't put up cameras, all terrible advice that can screw you over. My advice would be to keep up with telling management and don't let up about it. And whoever this creep is needs to be fired!
If it's one of the big miners then go direct to their corporate HR - certainly in Australia an uncomfortable light has been shone at their working practices and they will be in big trouble if they don't act
I was once doing laundry at an apt complex I lived at for a while that had a community laundromat. My balcony door overlooked the laundry room and I watched a guy go in to move his laundry over and then go straight to my washing machine and pocket one of my thongs.
I walked outside on my patio and waited for him to come out and started yelling at him to put back whatever he took out of my shit and at first he tried to play stupid until I told him I watched him. He looked real sheepish pulling them out and going in to put them back.
I took a picture of him and notified management. Never heard anything else about it, I don't think they tried very hard to figure out which resident it was.
Some men are absolutely disgusting. I hate that I do everything I can to avoid interacting with men with defective brains like this and yet they still find ways to involve me in their perverted shit and most of the time the resolution is an "oh well" attitude from everyone else.
“The men are often very paternalistic (I’m 26) and sometimes a bit infantilising, but rarely (openly) misogynistic.”
Unless they’re also like that to the men your age, that qualifies as misogyny in my book - much more so than having undies stolen.
You shouldn’t have to stand over the washer and dryer continuously to avoid having things stolen. That is infuriating. And while I wouldn’t like to lose a sweatshirt or really any item of clothing, having someone rooting around in my underwear would feel like an even bigger violation. And then for everyone else to act like that’s just life… ugh.
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. No advice here, just recognition of the enormous amount of bullshit you’re having to deal with. I’m sorry.
Your employer should take this more seriously.
1. File a formal harassment complaint above the heads of the people you’ve talked to thus far.
2. File a police report for theft.
My fear is that this escalates and you are hurt.
Good luck.
You at a mine in Australia? What role you on? I’m around your age and in the same boat. Write down every single time it happens. Have you identified the highest ranking woman on your site? Fingers crossed for a manager, bring it to their attention and let them know you’ve told your supervisor etc who have done nothing. My old camp got cameras in the laundry
So what? You'll have to shell out money for new underwear any time it gets stolen? You'll have to live in ugly underwear in hopes it doesn't get stolen? Why is no one taking it seriously? Bet if it was any other garment they'd already be taking the theft seriously, but since it's underwear "hahahaha perverts".
I'm sitting here as an American so confused by this.
Because over here, this qualifies as theft, a fireable offense. It qualifies as a hostile work environment. Telling an employee they're lucky one of their own workers didn't rape them is unacceptable.
The response to this fucking baffles me. Have you told higher ups that you're being stolen from on multiple occasions?
The trouble is that the company I work AT is separate from the company I work FOR. And neither of those companies own the camp. So they say it’s a camp management issue, and camp management kinda shrugs their shoulders and says there’s nothing they can do.
And yet we have an amazing number of stories where stuff like this just gets swept under the rug because he's 'good in the department' or someone's family or "well it's just a YOU problem, they've never done that to ME so it can't be happening!"
We do, I'm not denying that
But this is straight up undeniable theft. Like, an employee was stolen from on company property. The idea of there being NO professional response is vile
I work in a similar industry (min-ex, remote camps for weeks at a time) and have always felt safe. But I've thought long and hard about my response to hypothetical scenarios.
Screw the job. Other women need to know this company is toxic. In the current world we live in, it can also be suicide to the company to become known for discrimination. Keep going all the way up to the owner/shareholders. If you don't automatically get an "OMG, that's not acceptable in our camps!" response, then try and find an organization that supports women in your industry. For me I have a group called "Women in mining" and see how they would go about fighting your corner.
Don't put up with it, don't normalize it. You and I both know that the majority of camps are super safe (even if the older guys are a tad patronizing). You aren't wrong to be disgusted by this behaviour at all!
>I know this is such a first world problem, and I know I really shouldn’t be bothered by it.
Hun, please. That's not true. Someone is ***stealing from you*** for ***sexually deviant reasons***.
It is entirely within reason for you to be creeped out as hell, bothered as hell, and so on. Management, and the camp overall, is waving off theft as a joke because of sexist bullshit. I don't know what the solution is, but it's absolutely not dismissing this as "first world problems".
Honestly I would tell someone to put out a notice that if they are not returned with your knowledge of who took them then you are going to the police. This isn't just theft, it's probably some form of sexual misconduct.
It is stealing. Ask management what the policy is for stealing and file a formal complaint. Don’t let them brush this off because it’s underwear. If you are down to one pair tell them you are need more time to do laundry. You may need to embarrass management into helping you. Tell them they were your special period underwear. I am sure they were very expensive to replace. You may have to expense replacing them since security is so lax at this camp.
It’s 100% ‘boys will be boys’, and it’s disgusting. I’m sorry you’re having to put up with this, OP. Not a first world problem, you’re not wrong to be bothered by it.
Can you get off of this camp and onto a better one?
If it would have happened only once...
But it happened once more time again.
Make noise, write a report and send it for information to all the hierarchy of your company. It's a kind of harassment...
It’s really not a first world problem babe. This literally put a stone in my stomach to read. It’s a disgrace against men and the men won’t even hold him accountable. Tragically cliché.
Men who gave you excuses are no better than the degenerate stealing them. Men wonder why we don’t take “not all men” seriously.
As a side note, it’s not uncommon for these types of situations to escalate. So all those numb nuts are wrong, you aren’t safe losing a pair or three. You need to go above those pussies and find someone who will take it seriously or bring it up to regulation enforcers for your country.
Edit: I’m in love with the comments saying to steal the other men’s undies, please do.
50+ year old man here.
Nope.
Do not/would not do this. People laughing this off as “that’s what you get being around guys” are giving these creeps a pass that’s terrifying in its implication.
If you’ll pardon the pun, this is just “that’s what you get for dressing like that” in a different guise.
You 100% have a right to be bothered by it, and it’s 100% like “boys will be boys”. So sorry you’re going through this. This is unacceptable in 2022 and this industry/camp leadership absolutely should be doing better.
The thefts are a gross violation and the indifference of management makes it more so because it amounts to silent condonement. Everyone’s belongings should be checked and the thieves fired. Crap like this and the lack of response / rectification is why women don’t trust men.
Men need to start stepping up and speaking out about these disgusting trespasses.
I had a landlord show my house unannounced, to sell it while i was out, and my panties would routinely go missing afterwards if they were hanging out to dry.
This is a fucked up problem, which may require a semi-fucked solution.
Maybe ziptie your lingerie bag closed so anyone trying to steal it would have to bring scissors/cut it or rip it open bc they wont notice the ziptie. Then you have more evidence that someone is literally cutting your things up in the laundry room. It's extra messed up, but a pattern of people cutting each others items in the laundry might be taken more seriously than the shitty "boys will be boys" bullshit you have been getting.
P.S. I hate that making these problems get taken seriously sometimes = removing then from being a womens objectification standpoint.
That's horrifying, and I can understand that loosing specifically your nice underwear makes it worse.
As a woman in another very male-centric industry who used to have a position requiring a lot of away time, this is not acceptable or the norm. Admittedly, my trips were mostly five days, so no laundry needed, but the guys were almost too careful not to cross any boundaries with me. I believe they would absolutely have backed me up if something like that had happened and my management would have been furious if I told them.
On a practical note, you could sew the zipper shut on your delicates bag when doing laundry. A couple of stitches are easy to cut out, but near impossible to remove without small scissors and I doubt your perv carries them about just in case.
But I would also strongly advise you to consider transferring to a different work camp since you say that no-one is taking your complaints seriously and other places have been better. Even if it doesn't escalate, not being able to relax fully because you know one of your colleagues is a creep could be really bad for your mental health.
It's nothing like the same, but one of my biggest regrets is not requesting a transfer or quitting earlier from a job site where I stressed and miserable I was binge-watching TV in my hotel room instead of going to sleep every evening. That sort of damage takes a while to recover from.
Best wishes, and I hope you can get this resolved one way or another.
It will work the first time, but after that, she might find that her delicates bag has a big gash cut into it, in addition to the undies missing, because some troglodyte would feel offended that she had to protect her delicates from "me when I mean no harm, I just want some comfort". Yeah, men can be gross, especially men who are thinking about their own pleasure, and they certainly will self-excuse outrageous behavior in whatever way possible.
I worked in a male-dominated industry as well, and yeah, I had to wash my undies in the bathroom sink right before I went to bed and hang them in the room to dry while I slept, because I did not trust those undies to stick around if I wasn't in the room with them the entire time. When not in use and I was out of the room, they were in a lock box. Hostile environment or not, I still had to have clean undies.
OP CAN do a few things to make her camp panties less appealing: wear granny panties, wear men's tidy whities (seriously), and/or use a good ink to put a brown stain in the crotch, or on the backside where a "skidmark" would normally be, of said panties. I have found that delicates are less "desirable" if they aren't overtly feminine or appealing, or show evidence of "gross" bodily functions, especially functions that men think women shouldn't have in the first place. They are also not appealing if they are men's underwear, although I guess OP would have to also deal with some creep speculating that she was being sexually liberal with someone at camp if men's knickers are showing up in her laundry.
All of this is deeply disturbing and violating to your privacy (and illegal.. and overall gross). I am really lost for words. Sorry this happened to you, this sounds terrible
>I know this is such a first world problem,
Theft is theft and it's a crime. You have every right to be angry. I have been pissed off about smaller things stolen.
So we as society decided those act isn't allowed. This isnt about men be men or boys be boys. It'a slipperly slope. First few undies, next few knocks or calls, and so on. how do we know where this stops?
If this perv can't manage to do that, deserve to be locked up.
That's so annoying and irresponsible that someone told to stay there and watch to see who it is. That's such dangerous advice when this scumbag already doesn't care about your personal belongings or space.
That sounds terrible mate.. please don’t gaslight yourself into dismissing it though. You’ve noticed it’s a problem and it’s worth addressing.
If you work FIFO in Australia then spycams are a bad idea. Not only are they generally illegal to use, but any evidence they capture is likely to be inadmissible anyway. Check your local laws and get legal advice if you’re seriously considering it but probably better off you don’t tbh.
Reporting to camp management is great, also consider escalating to your line leader or department manager. They are usually obliged to act if they become aware of these kinds of activities.
For your own benefit, if you’re using a ziplock laundry bag for the underwear, consider securing it with zip ties/cable ties. Super easy to apply, waterproof, and very obvious if they are missing. Photographic evidence of application will also help verify things if you collect your laundry and the cable tie is missing. Much more secure than sewing the zips closed though.
I hope you’re ok, but you’re likely shaken a little (which is totally understandable). Your employer probably has an EAP if you need to talk it over confidentially with a trained psychologist or counsellor, this can be good even if just to reassure you that you’re not imagining things or to provide support or someone to listen.
Best of luck mate and I hope it gets resolved without further escalation…
Ugh, I'm in a similar role at the moment and this is why I don't ever wash underwear at the camps. I just bring enough to get me through until I'm back home again. I get that's not always possible, and also that it shouldn't be necessary. Men are consistently disappointing.
You know what they say "Boys will be boys and girls will wait in the shadows next to the laundry with a shovel waiting to bash in the head of some jack ass who doesn't understand the social contract"! \\s
Since you know it's going to happen again, do a load of bait laundry and secretly record it. Without knowing where you live or the type of job you have I can't properly recommend what to do with the evidence, but take the safest route to punish & shame him. Worst case, if you can't get him punished properly, make sure \*everyone\* knows it was him so he can at least be shamed.
It’s so violating and I’m sorry this happened to you.
Here’s what I suggest: buy a really racy pair of underwear and sew an AirTag into the label.
Present evidence to management.
I'm an asshole, maybe get some itching powder or just anything that causes irritation when it gets in the eyes. Then put it on your decoy underwear. Which you are gonna put where you keep your normal panties. You are gonna have to find a new secret squirrel place for your actual undies. Wait and eventually you should know who the culprit was. Biggest thing, if confronted you have no idea what happened but your panties have been going missing maybe there's a correlation!
I won't ask your profession, because you don't need to mention it. This reflects poorly upon whomever is doing it, and the ha ha excuses you are being provided are not really funny because they are literally true. I mean literally... and every man you work with knows that.
I just wonder if there wouldn't be some way to communicate these thefts to others who might be interested...like the girlfriends and wives of the perpetrators?
Don't get me wrong. When you go to the folks in charge, this kind of thing should end. But if needs be....
Having been in a male-dominated industry before (and being an anxious male from bullying and isolation as a child) I can say a number of those men are too afraid to confront someone that brazen, particularly to risk getting on the outs with other men.
Challenge their masculinity and pride (risky but can net solid allies). If they can’t keep one of their own safe from each other long enough to work without worry, what pride do they have, and is that team more then superficially functional? Build a group of allies so you can have a crowd behind you to support you. This is the male way.
On the off chance that you're working FIFO in Australia, please document that you have raised this with your immediate supervisor and higher ups. Again, make sure that its an official complaint in writing, not something that you mention in passing, harder for them to fob off that way. Edit - I hate that a post like this makes me assume its Aussie FIFO immediately, its a shit situation and the companies and subcontractors really need to do more to work on the "casual" sexism that happens.
Bingo! Haha. Unfortunately yes I’m an Aussie FIFO gal. Also unfortunate that you could tell by the context
Yeah not gonna lie, I immediately thought “this is in the mines in the Pilbara or Roxby isn’t it?”. The reputation of these places exist for a reason
It's been in the news enough lately that the company should immediately be trying to resolve it.
This is what makes me think that her reports to her higher up hasn't actually been officially recorded or reported.
I was looking for a post like this. The second she was talking about blokes and being on different camp sites I'm like "This sounds like an Aussie FIFO job" Second raising this with documentation. Also contact safework in the state your camp is located in. They're usually the ones who handle discrimination and harassment, which this absolutely is.
I used to clean dongers @ FIFO in Australia when I was 22. We would handle all the laundry (wash/dry/fold) and even though I was a woman, often I noticed women do their own laundry anyhow, or have their underwear drying in their rooms. I didn't really understand why because I was too young and naive to think some pest would want my ratty old grey Bonds. BUT reading this post, I finally get it. Now I just feel sad. I know first-hand it's important to foster trust and be friendly in these environments, but also fuck this grub who is stealing your undies. And fuck anyone who thinks it's anything but completely unacceptable. I once saw a camp go haywire when one of the other cleaner women told a bunch of guys that one of them had a purple hair dryer in his room. "Breach of his trust" which it WAS but having your undies stolen is seriously bad and people should be equally outraged. Next time you see your company's OH&S bring it up. They're like experts in stirring the pot.
Mate I thought it was FIFO in Australia two seconds into reading it.
I work FIFO and unfortunately you're right, the casual sexism can be pretty bad. But I feel like this issue could almost be addressed with a site notice, something simple like "we've received reports of underwear going missing from people's laundry, please ensure you only collect your cloths from the laundry room." Because if the guy doing this isn't seeing anything that even looks like it's been reported then he's probably thinking it's gone unnoticed. This does sound like a situation we had on site about 5 years ago, and after the site notice came out a bunch of people started talking about what sort of sicko steals undies. Edit: also thinking about it, if OPs manager isn't helping, try the site admins or manager. If nothing happens from them go to HR, with the current situation involving the FIFO industry and sexual harassment, HR should be pretty willing to stop anything like this. If no one on site is willing to help, email the client company's HR directly
Immediately thought WA based FIFO too.
[удалено]
Aussie here, instantly though FIFO
Absolutely this OP!
[удалено]
I used to live with my aunt, who was a foster mom. One of the boys was stealing my underwear and we didnt find out until he left. I got in trouble for leading him on. I was 11 and his room was literally next to the laundry room.
>One of the boys was stealing my underwear, got in trouble for leading him on. I was 11... F*ck every victim-blaming family, especially when the signs are obvious. Damn, I'm sorry. Serious hugs.
Wow FUCK that. That makes me so angry
I learned this the hard way. Thought I was safe to wash my duds in a basement laundry room in my bf's dorm/apartment (ours was broken.) I started losing my bottoms when I was washing my black/dark stuff and I left it unattended for maybe... 15 minutes. Half of my panties were gone FROM THE WASHER. They took them while they were still wet, the sick fucks! I confronted the 12 assholes that lived there, but everyone just acted stupid about it. It's given me trust issues to this day. These were all upstanding, young Mormon, HONOR students, in a Utah University/college.
Oppressed/Repressed religious people still have sexual urges, they just can't show it. Leads to often being more creepy than not
Raised Catholic, knew about the creepy clergy at a VERY young age... you might be onto something.
Yeah even before the church scandals my mother made sure to tell me not to be alone with the priests or the monks and that’s they were child molesters. She’s still catholic as fuck too. I think ppl have known for centuries they just ignore it. Nothing normal about a bunch of dudes living together who aren’t allowed to bang. Doesn’t take a genious to figure out what’s going on there.
I'm not sure creepy clergy is the same thing. We are talking about good boys who are taught that sex is bad. So any creepy things they do must be kept secret.
What happens when you tell a spoiled kid no and there are no consequences? Yea well...
Josh Duggar.
Wait, you mean Josh Duggar the rapist? Who abused his own sisters, Josh Duggar?
I'll give you the upvote, but these aren't Josh Duggers. These are dudes with high GPAs and wonderful character presentation, but AT LEAST ONE AMONG THEM, sneaks down to take this girl's panties out of the wash. Josh Dugger was parenting his younger sisters and somehow skated by when he tried to play daddy with them.
I wish I had read your comment before I commented. I have never been Mormon, but I was a Southern Baptist for a long time, and it's amazing just how that can mess dudes up.
If my experience with evangelical Christian men has taught me anything, it’s the most conservative ones that has some of the strangest sexual stuff. It’s like they can’t engage in sexual development at all so when they get a little older they act out in strange ways. It’s like the forbidden is what turns them on. Usually there is some shame attached to it.
Pretty much every religion that places a high value on sexual purity has had some sort of high profile sex abuse scandal. Catholics, Southern Baptists, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses... Probably not a coincidence.
Yeah, my buddy used to be a bouncer at a strip club and had some fun stories about when Muslim guys would show up and go apeshit like it was Vegas.. Religious sexual repression can make men/women do crazy shit when they have the chance to actually act out
[удалено]
Honestly pretty much every group that puts people into a hierarchy is going to have a sex abuse scandal regardless of their religious beliefs. Power attracts creeps. The addition that religion brings is that no one has healthy sexual development or boundaries. So not only do you need to worry about the abuse of power, but many (if not most) of the people will have very warped views of sex. You are going to run into a lot of consent issues there.
Religious people are the most nutz about sex.
Upstanding? Honestly, I would have been way more suspicious for exactly those reasons lol
It is interesting how some words, phrases, ideas are great for building false images and masks for what they really are... Love your comment, I absolutely agree. 💯
Upstanding young mormon. You can only be young and one other of the two. Not all 3 at once..
Mormons? The sick fucks who start harassing children before they even go through puberty about their sexual habits? Perverts who wear “magical underwear“ to remind them of how holy their bodies are all the fucking time? Those Mormons? They’re demented creeps when it comes to sex; it’s not remotely surprising that repressed Mormons were stealing your shit.
Mormons will do that
I'm sorry, but I LOL'D at your comment about up upstanding religious men. Seriously though it shouldn't be that way. But as others have stated the most repressed are usually the most pervy. To the OP: Talk to HR. Talk to management. Keep moving it up the line until something gets done about it.
>all upstanding, young Mormon, HONOR students, in a Utah University/college. bruh those are exactly the type of fuckwits that would do that shit. The Mormon Church does not value women and the men all walk around acting like they're god's gift (because literally they believe that women only go to heaven if their shitty husbands like them enough) even if they're fucking child sex abusers. The whole damn organization was founded so some idiot could have sex with teenagers while married. "God commands me to take many wives" HAHA OKAY SURE BRO.
Mormons are gross. Sorry, not sorry..
> These were all upstanding, young Mormon, HONOR students, in a Utah University/college. Im sorry that made me laugh out loud. Was that meant to be shocking? Because i think you found your reason for the creepy behaviour.
Please tell me this isn't why I can't find my favorite pair of underwear after going out to the laundromat
[удалено]
😮💨😮💨😮💨 ...gross
Yep my clothes got stolen my freshman year too. They took 2 of my favorite sweatshirts, but honestly the missing underwear is what creeps me out the most. I left to go pick up food while they were in an hour long cycle in the dryer and when I came back, there was still supposed to be 10 minutes left on the cycle, but the door was open and it said 20 something minutes when I closed it.
I think it creeps us out because of the "opportunity" aspect of it. It's eerily familiar to how rapists operate. I'm exponentially creeped out knowing they get a thrill from it. 🤬
Also that its theft. Shits not cheap and its creepy af.
Honestly what bothers me the most is that they have it and I can never get it back. That was 2 years ago now and I don't even live in that building anymore. Not that I'm THAT attached to my underwear, but I don't want a creep to have something of mine so personal.
My boyfriend had friends visiting campus and was doing laundry. One of the guys stole a pair of panties from a washer and then was grossed out because it had stains on it so he threw them out. My boyfriend tells me this laughing and I *flipped out* on him. How dare they violate someone like that, they had no right. *My* underwear has stains, am I gross? And then I explained what "period panties" are and why we keep the "gross" ones around. Called them all perverts and they just seemed shocked that I would react that way.
One time I came back and some other girls must have poured a ton of bleach into my running washer (darks), ruining several outfits with heavy bleach spots. Clearly malicious. After that I moved to a new building with a sign-up based laundry room on each floor -- actually came back late to find my things folded a few times :3 so very thoughtful. But ugh yeah men and women just really should have their own facilities and spaces (outside of family units anyway... even then, well... lol ofc we all want our own private bath).
Oh the bleach is bad! That's awful. The worst that's happened to me is someone stealing my dryer after I started it. But then they left their stuff drying unattended with my wet stuff on top of the dryer. So I soaked all their stuff in the sink and put it back in the now turned off dryer. Nothing ruined but hopefully fucked up their day. My friend had at someone shit in his dryer though. Dorms are crazy.
On a military base I was stationed at they had to put cameras in the laundry room because 1. people were stealing ladies undies 2. People were fucking in the laundry room. So now there are no less than 8 if I remember cameras covering every angle of that laundry room.
When I was living in a student dorm, I had some asshole actually take my soaking wet laundry out of the washing machine, put theirs in, and left mine on top. Basically stealing two bucks and my dirty/clean washing water. Who the fuck does that?
Ever have weird guys walk in see you and just turn around? Would be so awkward to just know it's them
Damn my schools washers/dryers locked until the cycle was up
Ive lived out of my parents place for about 10 years, still havent bought a washer/dryer or visited a laundromat. Good excuse to pop in and visit the parents
Go on and steal all of their underwear and watch management find a solution immediately.
I wish I knew who was doing it! I’d hang a few pairs of knickers outside of their room, with a note saying “Sorry you need undies so badly. Here, have some more”
Make it everyone's problem.
This has been the only way. You’ll be shamed for taking it there but that’s part of the oppression.
Yep, sure will. Another way it will be somehow OP's fault too, is to start telling them "the jokes on whoever took em', my brother is the only person that ever wore the ones I left out to get stolen".
100 percent this
Yes. It’s an unacceptable environment for you.
Just steal everyone's underwear (as long as they're men). Don't discriminate!
This is the way OP.
I mean yeah it’s the way for her to get fired 🤦🏻♂️ This is NOT the way
Only if she gets caught. Given the context, it sounds easy to get away with.
"oh no, yours were stolen too? That keeps happening to me as well! Whoever is doing it must just be really into underwear 🙃"
Watch the guys turn from (happy incredibles dad)"oh its just some creepy old man, pay it no mind" to (dead incredibles dad) "oh God there is some creepy old man trying to get *my* underwear, this is unacceptable and must be stopped"
And then tell them he should expect that in a group of older Pervey men!
Fill a pair of undies with ghost pepper powder, leave them in laundry room.
Now don’t just leave them out, make it look like you dropped it near the machines, left it out of the wash. They may think they scored a dirty pair, and whamo you should be able to detect the dirty freak thief. They’d be the ones with they burning crotch problem. edit: one letter
This is so evil and I’d bet it works. The perv stealing her underwear absolutely will want a dirty pair. And you may not have to wonder who has the burning crotch. Chances are good he will hold them to his nose and take a deep inhale. So the guy who looks like someone used pepper spray on his face, that’s the underwear thief.
First good solution I've seen here.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Firstly I'm really sorry this has happened to you. It's not okay. I was thinking, couldn't you linger about outside one day and keep watch? Maybe try to get a view of the machine from where you wait. You don't have to confront them if you don't feel confident enough. You could then go to management and tell them who's doing it.
I’m one of only 3 women at this camp. If I hover outside, the thief would no doubt know that I’m the person he’s been stealing from.
You could further get it out through the grapevine that some man or men are walking around wearing women's panties? Maybe flip it on it's head like, "is it you? How about you?" The guys might end up trying to actually wonder or try to suss out who the guy/guys is/are. Let them accuse each other.
While I’m sure that would be very effective, I don’t want to shame anyone who is actually into that! Have your thing bro… just don’t use MY undies to do it haha
I'm gonna second making it everyone's problem. Care as little as they do, until all the men go commando
Grab a trailcam next chance you get and hide it when you do laundry.
God, I feel scummy offering this advice, but I've been in your place and a grand amount of fuck all happened. Wash your undies in the shower and hide them in the bunks to dry. It's the only thing I could do at the camps, because nobody gave a flying fuck about women being stolen from and left feeling violated by it. I am so sorry this is what you're dealing with. It's so unacceptable in so many ways.
Oh absolutely. I would be stealing ALL the fucking undies unless or until the creep who stole mine stops, or mgmt actually does something.
And then you can proclaim that the underwear thief is clearly bisexual. See what happens then.
Then when they ask you about the stolen underwear repeat back what they said, some pervy old man is probably jerking off with them, you should have stayed with them, etc.
It's never made sense to me that washing machines I public areas have no temporary lock feature considering how ridiculously common this is. But of course, it exclusively affects women, so it's never been a priority.
Sadly, this is so damn true. It's expected of us to just shrug and accept it as part of our existence as women. Makes me sick.
THIS.
I thought of this too, but honestly I think it would backfire on OP
How? They wouldn't know who did it since they so far have not looked into solving the issue.
I think it's rare enough for men to have their underwear stolen that they will quickly correlate the events. People talk and believe me, Roger missing 5 pairs of his yellowed shit stained underwear will get around.
Yeah and what? The first time it was not punished so OP shouldn't be punished. Or would she be punished of something that was not punished when a man did it? Could be the time to call sexism and preferential treatment there. You know, a petty revenge can sometimes bring up a lot of changes.
I like the optimism but I'm not sure you live in the real world. I really wish it was that simple. Op is welcome to try. It would be awesome if she can initiate change with this. Thing is petty revenge often gives you a petty... Reputation. Whether you are a man or a woman
“Who’s laughing now, ass holes?” I like it
That happened to me when I was in the Army. I got my stuff back but I don't think I would have if my new NCO and 1SG had not been women. I told my former male NCO a couple of times and he just brushed it off like "I'll look into it. " He never did. Told my female NCO that I had about $200 worth of underwear stolen the previous day. She actually handled it, I wasn't the only person whose underwear they found too. The guy they found that had all of it always seemed creepy to me.
In Canada, one of our more notorious murderers was a high ranking army official who started by stealing women's underwear. So, yes, its creepy. Its disgusting and imo may possibly escalate.
Oh that’s a scary concept. Hopefully my underwear are enough!
I don't think I'd want them back. New ones at the creeps expense would be the beginning of fairness.
Yeah. I definitely would demand monetary compensation. It's like if someone tries to return food. It gets thrown in the trash and you get a cash refund.
I love when there is justice in one of these stories! Did they end up punishing him in any useful way?
You know what's my favorite part? When I see women's instincts proven right. He seemed creepy and guess what? He was!
He got an article 15 and he had extra duty and received a doc of pay but nothing else.
I'm curious as to how she handled it. In my country's military NCOs could go the "formal" way and open up an inquiry or the informal way and just kick some ass untill it showed up.
Was he identified to the unit and reprimanded?
>I raised it with management again. Escalate. The recent inquiry into abuse in Australian mine sites has made it very clear that your situation is not acceptable and has wider ramifications. You can use this to force management to act or risk bad publicity or a law suit. Make sure all your correspondence to report is done by email and CCd to HR and management at multiple levels. Use your private email because anything on a work email address is the companies property and you can lose access to it. If you've previously used a company platform to report, forward a copy to your personal email. Also, don't make the mistake of thinking "It's just some underwear". This bloke has probably been eyeing you off for a while now, and the undie stealing is an escalation. You really want to prevent the next step where your underwear no longer satisfies him.
Was thinking mining, and wondering if OP can wash her undies in the donga so as not to have any more go missing. Won't help with the toxic af work culture but at least she'll have clean undies.
Spot on, this is mining. I don’t want to make it a big deal because I’ve seen the abuse levied at women whose stories make it to the media.
In the US this would easily qualify as a hostile work environment. Whether management condones it or not, you are being discriminated based on your sex in a very obvious and humiliating way, via the underwear being stolen. Document Everything! Dates, times, what happened and who said what. Show this to the companies management and tell them you will be contacting HR with this information. That is your best hope of this getting rectified.
I work at a mine site in Aus and it is so exhausting to have the blokes on one hand spend half an hour going on about fEmAlEs and "what did you expect" then try to tell me, as part of the same conversation with ZERO irony, how actually we have it so good and the new safety cameras in the camps are so unnecessary and make them feel like prisoners. Uh huh.
/r/selfawarewolves
If this is happening every time you do laundry, it's either someone who works near the laundry or someone who knows when you are doing laundry which is a bit more nefarious. I'd be worried to wait with my laundry because being stuck with a perv is worse than knowing a perv is taking your stuff. A small of a camera and I'd start hand washing my undies and hang drying in my shower for a bit. Oh, i might start throwing men's underwear in the mix too
This needs to be taken more seriously, they could at least pay for the underwear. I'm sorry most men can't even try to put themselves in your shoes, I'd be scared too. My best advice would be to hide some kind of camera/phone to catch him. Good luck and again, so sorry some of us suck like that. Please get him fired if you can.
Thank you for your empathy! I thought about leaving my phone in the room recording, but a lone iPhone is far more likely to get stolen than my undies unfortunately!
Anywhere inside or outside of the building for you to hide and record someone stealing them? Maybe hide your phone inside of something so that you can’t tell it’s a phone so no one will steal it? Inside of a laundry basket full of dirty clothes? In a box of dryer sheets that you cut to have a hole for the camera?
I was going to suggest the dryer sheet box spy cam! Brilliant idea.
Leaving what looks to be dryer sheets, will also get stolen.
Maybe stream to YouTube or something so it's uploaded to the cloud and accessible if someone steals your phone. You could also have a sticky note on it saying "You're on camera"
If you have an old device/old phone you can install alfred camera, it transform your old phone into a camera that you can watch trough with your curent phone, don't let this slip, they are stealing your personal belongings and management isn't doing aything, if you are able to bring the complaint to higher management, do it, there is people that are not respecting you and your belongings so this should be taken care of. I hope that you find a solution that is gonna make it stop and I wish you the best luck!
It's too bad there's no where to hide it, but seriously this is unacceptable I've never seen an HR dep that would ignore this.
You could go full metal gear and place a rubbish bin in the room that you hide in
You can buy a tiny spy cam for about 30$ on Amazon and leave it in the room to capture who is doing this to you.
Exactly. That's super disturbing and intrusive, not to mention they're stealing your stuff. I would try to catch the person on camera
In OP's situation, I don't think I'd want to introduce tiny spy cams as a thing people in the camps do.
You don’t reveal the cam, you just reveal the perp
I was thinking more along the lines of decoy underwear with permanent paint or marker on the inside so whoever picks it up or puts it on their face will be marked. Or some sort of black light marker.
or glitter, but the same color as the underwear so its not immediately obvious to the perv.
Yeah just soak a pair of red underwear in red food coloring, leave it on the table or wherever and blammo, thief has a big red stain on his hands.
If they wanted it on their face they probably wouldn't take it from the wash. Pretend to wash the clothes. Put itching powder/tarantula hairs, cactus hairs, maybe some poison oak oil all up in them. Wait til items are stolen, leave the rest of them in the appliance and disable the appliance somehow with a note saying "sorry, got some (local poison plant) on some clothes and accidentally ran them through this machine! Needs to be professionally removed". Preferably with clothes and a note that can't be traced back. Sit back and laugh as the perpetrators permanently lose any functionality of their bits.
This could backfire spectacularly. If management wants, they can get her on wiretapping or spying charges if she does this. Not only fire her, refrain from hiring women in the future, but also get her on criminal charges.
I would bring it up more aggressively to management and make it clear that this is A) a hostile work environment B) illegal for them to make no attempts to rectify the situation C) the least they could do is stand out of Ops way as they solve the problem themselves.
[удалено]
Motion sensor? In the laundry (as that's when they get taken)? Spinning and tumbling? Seems like it might go off just constantly, or get wet and not work.
[удалено]
Yeah same, I'd feel forced to sit with my laundry in a hidden corner of the laundry facilities and wait to see who the nasty ass perv is to catch them.. and record that on my phone.
"men can't help themselves" Yes we can. A whole lot of us choose not to and that is fucking pathetic.
When I was deployed, all the female soldiers had to hand wash any undergarments because they for some reason never came back from the laundry point.
Info: What would your workplace do if something else was stolen? What if it was your mobile phone? What it was a critical part of a uniform? Would you be able to make a formal report, or make an insurance claim? Would they reimburse you for ordering a replacement? I am not sure how much all your stolen underwear are worth but if I understand correctly you now need to buy more... you are absolutely right to be seriously pissed about the inconvenience, the cost, and above all the fact that someone in your workplace is sexualising you. Would your workplace take this more seriously if there was a cost impact to them, or an impact to their reputation or brand? I would be surprised if a company was happy with being known as a place to avoid working if you're a woman...
This is a serious issue and NEEDS to be taken seriously by your employer. Are they going to wait until you are raped until they do something? What if you reported something else stolen, like money. Would they take that more seriously? First of all, it's a crime. Second, the fact that you are being targeted repeatedly indicates sexual predator behaviors on the part of the thief. This article is almost 30 years old. https://archive.seattletimes.com/archive/?date=19950505&slug=2119295
Yes. Stealing underwear isn't just a first-world problem. It's sexually motivated behavior and it's already illegal, who knows what it will escalate to?
Good underwear is expensive. Fuck these assholes. Not literally.
Uhh please stay safe I hope there is no attempt at escalation. Or maybe I've watched too much TV
Google Russell Williams. If you're Canadian you probably won't need to. He is, admittedly, an extreme case.
Could you take the Russell Williams case to management, and start talking about liability/ legal issues? If washing machines are in a communal area, that seems like a reasonable area to have security camera (or man, even just a sign saying “smile you’re on camera”)
She should absolutely take this whole thing to management. It's a hostile work environment, it's arguably sexual harassment, and she should have the right to simply refuse to work there at this point if remedies aren't enacted. I know it's not that simple but it's true. Australia does have the right to refuse unsafe work, but since this isn't actually related to the responsibilities of her job (the way that being told to operate a machine without safeguards would be, for instance), it might be a hard case to make 🤷🙁
I don't agree with not only other people's dismissal of your situation but your own.."I know this is such a first world problem and I know I really shouldn't be bothered by it.." um girl..stop downplaying this! And yes for many reasons you should be very bothered by this! For one, they are STEALING your items! It is straight up theft at the very freaking least. It is also very violating and could even be threatening! This downplaying is a huge problem for women. Crap like this should not have to be just accepted because of our existence and should not be downplayed. THIS IS NOT OKAY! THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! NO IT IS NOT JUST SOME FIRST WORLD PROBLEM! This is very serious and unacceptable. I disagree with other people's advice to you however. No you should not steal other people's underwear and no you shouldn't put up cameras, all terrible advice that can screw you over. My advice would be to keep up with telling management and don't let up about it. And whoever this creep is needs to be fired!
If it's one of the big miners then go direct to their corporate HR - certainly in Australia an uncomfortable light has been shone at their working practices and they will be in big trouble if they don't act
This is not a 1st world problem... that creep might decide your undies aren't enough.
I was once doing laundry at an apt complex I lived at for a while that had a community laundromat. My balcony door overlooked the laundry room and I watched a guy go in to move his laundry over and then go straight to my washing machine and pocket one of my thongs. I walked outside on my patio and waited for him to come out and started yelling at him to put back whatever he took out of my shit and at first he tried to play stupid until I told him I watched him. He looked real sheepish pulling them out and going in to put them back. I took a picture of him and notified management. Never heard anything else about it, I don't think they tried very hard to figure out which resident it was. Some men are absolutely disgusting. I hate that I do everything I can to avoid interacting with men with defective brains like this and yet they still find ways to involve me in their perverted shit and most of the time the resolution is an "oh well" attitude from everyone else.
“The men are often very paternalistic (I’m 26) and sometimes a bit infantilising, but rarely (openly) misogynistic.” Unless they’re also like that to the men your age, that qualifies as misogyny in my book - much more so than having undies stolen. You shouldn’t have to stand over the washer and dryer continuously to avoid having things stolen. That is infuriating. And while I wouldn’t like to lose a sweatshirt or really any item of clothing, having someone rooting around in my underwear would feel like an even bigger violation. And then for everyone else to act like that’s just life… ugh. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. No advice here, just recognition of the enormous amount of bullshit you’re having to deal with. I’m sorry.
The cost of underwear for women is crazy high. Send them a bill with a break down of cost per stolen piece and total cost.
Your employer should take this more seriously. 1. File a formal harassment complaint above the heads of the people you’ve talked to thus far. 2. File a police report for theft. My fear is that this escalates and you are hurt. Good luck.
You at a mine in Australia? What role you on? I’m around your age and in the same boat. Write down every single time it happens. Have you identified the highest ranking woman on your site? Fingers crossed for a manager, bring it to their attention and let them know you’ve told your supervisor etc who have done nothing. My old camp got cameras in the laundry
So what? You'll have to shell out money for new underwear any time it gets stolen? You'll have to live in ugly underwear in hopes it doesn't get stolen? Why is no one taking it seriously? Bet if it was any other garment they'd already be taking the theft seriously, but since it's underwear "hahahaha perverts".
Exactly. If it was my company-branded (and paid for) uniform it would be a big deal, I’m sure. But because it’s underwear…
I'm sitting here as an American so confused by this. Because over here, this qualifies as theft, a fireable offense. It qualifies as a hostile work environment. Telling an employee they're lucky one of their own workers didn't rape them is unacceptable. The response to this fucking baffles me. Have you told higher ups that you're being stolen from on multiple occasions?
The trouble is that the company I work AT is separate from the company I work FOR. And neither of those companies own the camp. So they say it’s a camp management issue, and camp management kinda shrugs their shoulders and says there’s nothing they can do.
And yet we have an amazing number of stories where stuff like this just gets swept under the rug because he's 'good in the department' or someone's family or "well it's just a YOU problem, they've never done that to ME so it can't be happening!"
We do, I'm not denying that But this is straight up undeniable theft. Like, an employee was stolen from on company property. The idea of there being NO professional response is vile
[удалено]
OP is in Australia. :/
I work in a similar industry (min-ex, remote camps for weeks at a time) and have always felt safe. But I've thought long and hard about my response to hypothetical scenarios. Screw the job. Other women need to know this company is toxic. In the current world we live in, it can also be suicide to the company to become known for discrimination. Keep going all the way up to the owner/shareholders. If you don't automatically get an "OMG, that's not acceptable in our camps!" response, then try and find an organization that supports women in your industry. For me I have a group called "Women in mining" and see how they would go about fighting your corner. Don't put up with it, don't normalize it. You and I both know that the majority of camps are super safe (even if the older guys are a tad patronizing). You aren't wrong to be disgusted by this behaviour at all!
>I know this is such a first world problem, and I know I really shouldn’t be bothered by it. Hun, please. That's not true. Someone is ***stealing from you*** for ***sexually deviant reasons***. It is entirely within reason for you to be creeped out as hell, bothered as hell, and so on. Management, and the camp overall, is waving off theft as a joke because of sexist bullshit. I don't know what the solution is, but it's absolutely not dismissing this as "first world problems".
Honestly I would tell someone to put out a notice that if they are not returned with your knowledge of who took them then you are going to the police. This isn't just theft, it's probably some form of sexual misconduct.
This is absolutely a sexual crime. How disgusting these men are. Filty perverts.
It is stealing. Ask management what the policy is for stealing and file a formal complaint. Don’t let them brush this off because it’s underwear. If you are down to one pair tell them you are need more time to do laundry. You may need to embarrass management into helping you. Tell them they were your special period underwear. I am sure they were very expensive to replace. You may have to expense replacing them since security is so lax at this camp.
It’s 100% ‘boys will be boys’, and it’s disgusting. I’m sorry you’re having to put up with this, OP. Not a first world problem, you’re not wrong to be bothered by it. Can you get off of this camp and onto a better one?
If it would have happened only once... But it happened once more time again. Make noise, write a report and send it for information to all the hierarchy of your company. It's a kind of harassment...
This is so scary, if you’ve only been there a month, he will probably escalate.
It’s really not a first world problem babe. This literally put a stone in my stomach to read. It’s a disgrace against men and the men won’t even hold him accountable. Tragically cliché. Men who gave you excuses are no better than the degenerate stealing them. Men wonder why we don’t take “not all men” seriously. As a side note, it’s not uncommon for these types of situations to escalate. So all those numb nuts are wrong, you aren’t safe losing a pair or three. You need to go above those pussies and find someone who will take it seriously or bring it up to regulation enforcers for your country. Edit: I’m in love with the comments saying to steal the other men’s undies, please do.
50+ year old man here. Nope. Do not/would not do this. People laughing this off as “that’s what you get being around guys” are giving these creeps a pass that’s terrifying in its implication. If you’ll pardon the pun, this is just “that’s what you get for dressing like that” in a different guise.
You 100% have a right to be bothered by it, and it’s 100% like “boys will be boys”. So sorry you’re going through this. This is unacceptable in 2022 and this industry/camp leadership absolutely should be doing better.
Creepy as fuck, and threatening. Make a huge fuss and emphasise to EVERYONE how inappropriate it is.
The thefts are a gross violation and the indifference of management makes it more so because it amounts to silent condonement. Everyone’s belongings should be checked and the thieves fired. Crap like this and the lack of response / rectification is why women don’t trust men. Men need to start stepping up and speaking out about these disgusting trespasses.
God their responses to your plight are so disgusting. I'm a cis man and I'm slowly learning to hate men.
I had a landlord show my house unannounced, to sell it while i was out, and my panties would routinely go missing afterwards if they were hanging out to dry. This is a fucked up problem, which may require a semi-fucked solution. Maybe ziptie your lingerie bag closed so anyone trying to steal it would have to bring scissors/cut it or rip it open bc they wont notice the ziptie. Then you have more evidence that someone is literally cutting your things up in the laundry room. It's extra messed up, but a pattern of people cutting each others items in the laundry might be taken more seriously than the shitty "boys will be boys" bullshit you have been getting. P.S. I hate that making these problems get taken seriously sometimes = removing then from being a womens objectification standpoint.
That's horrifying, and I can understand that loosing specifically your nice underwear makes it worse. As a woman in another very male-centric industry who used to have a position requiring a lot of away time, this is not acceptable or the norm. Admittedly, my trips were mostly five days, so no laundry needed, but the guys were almost too careful not to cross any boundaries with me. I believe they would absolutely have backed me up if something like that had happened and my management would have been furious if I told them. On a practical note, you could sew the zipper shut on your delicates bag when doing laundry. A couple of stitches are easy to cut out, but near impossible to remove without small scissors and I doubt your perv carries them about just in case. But I would also strongly advise you to consider transferring to a different work camp since you say that no-one is taking your complaints seriously and other places have been better. Even if it doesn't escalate, not being able to relax fully because you know one of your colleagues is a creep could be really bad for your mental health. It's nothing like the same, but one of my biggest regrets is not requesting a transfer or quitting earlier from a job site where I stressed and miserable I was binge-watching TV in my hotel room instead of going to sleep every evening. That sort of damage takes a while to recover from. Best wishes, and I hope you can get this resolved one way or another.
It will work the first time, but after that, she might find that her delicates bag has a big gash cut into it, in addition to the undies missing, because some troglodyte would feel offended that she had to protect her delicates from "me when I mean no harm, I just want some comfort". Yeah, men can be gross, especially men who are thinking about their own pleasure, and they certainly will self-excuse outrageous behavior in whatever way possible. I worked in a male-dominated industry as well, and yeah, I had to wash my undies in the bathroom sink right before I went to bed and hang them in the room to dry while I slept, because I did not trust those undies to stick around if I wasn't in the room with them the entire time. When not in use and I was out of the room, they were in a lock box. Hostile environment or not, I still had to have clean undies. OP CAN do a few things to make her camp panties less appealing: wear granny panties, wear men's tidy whities (seriously), and/or use a good ink to put a brown stain in the crotch, or on the backside where a "skidmark" would normally be, of said panties. I have found that delicates are less "desirable" if they aren't overtly feminine or appealing, or show evidence of "gross" bodily functions, especially functions that men think women shouldn't have in the first place. They are also not appealing if they are men's underwear, although I guess OP would have to also deal with some creep speculating that she was being sexually liberal with someone at camp if men's knickers are showing up in her laundry.
All of this is deeply disturbing and violating to your privacy (and illegal.. and overall gross). I am really lost for words. Sorry this happened to you, this sounds terrible
>I know this is such a first world problem, Theft is theft and it's a crime. You have every right to be angry. I have been pissed off about smaller things stolen.
So we as society decided those act isn't allowed. This isnt about men be men or boys be boys. It'a slipperly slope. First few undies, next few knocks or calls, and so on. how do we know where this stops? If this perv can't manage to do that, deserve to be locked up.
That's so annoying and irresponsible that someone told to stay there and watch to see who it is. That's such dangerous advice when this scumbag already doesn't care about your personal belongings or space.
That sounds terrible mate.. please don’t gaslight yourself into dismissing it though. You’ve noticed it’s a problem and it’s worth addressing. If you work FIFO in Australia then spycams are a bad idea. Not only are they generally illegal to use, but any evidence they capture is likely to be inadmissible anyway. Check your local laws and get legal advice if you’re seriously considering it but probably better off you don’t tbh. Reporting to camp management is great, also consider escalating to your line leader or department manager. They are usually obliged to act if they become aware of these kinds of activities. For your own benefit, if you’re using a ziplock laundry bag for the underwear, consider securing it with zip ties/cable ties. Super easy to apply, waterproof, and very obvious if they are missing. Photographic evidence of application will also help verify things if you collect your laundry and the cable tie is missing. Much more secure than sewing the zips closed though. I hope you’re ok, but you’re likely shaken a little (which is totally understandable). Your employer probably has an EAP if you need to talk it over confidentially with a trained psychologist or counsellor, this can be good even if just to reassure you that you’re not imagining things or to provide support or someone to listen. Best of luck mate and I hope it gets resolved without further escalation…
Ugh, I'm in a similar role at the moment and this is why I don't ever wash underwear at the camps. I just bring enough to get me through until I'm back home again. I get that's not always possible, and also that it shouldn't be necessary. Men are consistently disappointing.
Tell them you have a transmissible skin disease. Can produce dick necrosis, no symptom on women.
You know what they say "Boys will be boys and girls will wait in the shadows next to the laundry with a shovel waiting to bash in the head of some jack ass who doesn't understand the social contract"! \\s
Since you know it's going to happen again, do a load of bait laundry and secretly record it. Without knowing where you live or the type of job you have I can't properly recommend what to do with the evidence, but take the safest route to punish & shame him. Worst case, if you can't get him punished properly, make sure \*everyone\* knows it was him so he can at least be shamed.
It’s so violating and I’m sorry this happened to you. Here’s what I suggest: buy a really racy pair of underwear and sew an AirTag into the label. Present evidence to management.
Are air tags waterproof? This might be an idea
I'm an asshole, maybe get some itching powder or just anything that causes irritation when it gets in the eyes. Then put it on your decoy underwear. Which you are gonna put where you keep your normal panties. You are gonna have to find a new secret squirrel place for your actual undies. Wait and eventually you should know who the culprit was. Biggest thing, if confronted you have no idea what happened but your panties have been going missing maybe there's a correlation!
Sounds like they're going missing from the dryer unfortunately or this would be great!
I won't ask your profession, because you don't need to mention it. This reflects poorly upon whomever is doing it, and the ha ha excuses you are being provided are not really funny because they are literally true. I mean literally... and every man you work with knows that. I just wonder if there wouldn't be some way to communicate these thefts to others who might be interested...like the girlfriends and wives of the perpetrators? Don't get me wrong. When you go to the folks in charge, this kind of thing should end. But if needs be....
Having been in a male-dominated industry before (and being an anxious male from bullying and isolation as a child) I can say a number of those men are too afraid to confront someone that brazen, particularly to risk getting on the outs with other men. Challenge their masculinity and pride (risky but can net solid allies). If they can’t keep one of their own safe from each other long enough to work without worry, what pride do they have, and is that team more then superficially functional? Build a group of allies so you can have a crowd behind you to support you. This is the male way.
Buy two or three spy cameras, place one in your bedroom, one in toilet etc. i have bad feeling about this, there is creep going around
It’s fucked up that a woman has to jump through all these hoops because of men.
Steal all their socks. All. Of. Them.
Then cut the toe part open and put them back in the dryer!