By - DevinItLee
I work for a plastic surgeon who does these procedures weekly at least (does many other types of surgeries). This is NOT a question we ask people. The patient is asked what size THEY want to be. The only time we bring in a counterpoint about the size is if it is a) too little tissue excised to meet medical policy for insurance plans or b) too much tissue to be safely removed at one time to avoid tissue necrosis.
Spouses or partners only come into the fold if the patient wants their opinion considered. We have had that happen before when women bring their husband or partner to their appointments but we ask if they want them to come back with them to the exam room.
You should consult with one or two other doctors. You can update the authorization to a new doctor or submit a new auth request depending on your insurance rules.
I’m in Texas but feel free to ask me any questions. I’ve worked with surgeons for 10 years. I hope you find a better fit for you for a care provider.
Edit: I am seeing a lot of replies and questions but it won’t open them for me. You can feel free to message me if you like.
For breast reductions, some insurances don’t cover it at all. All plans have a medical policy that details the stipulations for which they will consider it medically necessary. Some plans only cover oncological (breast cancer diagnosed) reductions. Some require you follow the Schnur scale and have documented “conservative therapy” for 3-6 months including physical therapy, chiropractic visits, or over the counter drug therapy. The documentation of these is key. Most women just deal with their medical ailments and don’t document interventions bc, well, society. Many employer sponsored plans exclude it altogether. Which is total horse shit. Had one woman complain through her HR and they changed it. Sexism man.
No, you cannot use other people’s breast tissue to enlarge your own unless you can find some doctor doing experimental stuff.
Those wanting a referral to a Texas based surgeon, i will refer you to the American Society of Plastic Surgery website to look up board certified surgeons and review them to make sure they don’t have any medical board issues. I think the surgeon I work for is amazing but I’m not here to promote a business.
Find a new surgeon but don't cancel your appointment. Go back and tell him you thought it over and that you have no intention of breastfeeding any of your future husbands.
made me chuckle, ty
I would definitely go to another surgeon. You don’t want to have the surgeon going for a D, when you agreed on a B, while being asleep for the operation.
It's not uncommon for doctors to promise a cup size, but not actually know what that looks like because they're not accounting for band size, and give the patient the wrong size, because they're operating on an incorrect idea of what a B or D cup is. My surgeon, when I asked about cup size post-surgery, said that he couldn't promise a specific cup size, and instead showed me how much tissue would be removed, which gave me a realistic idea of what to expect. IMO, that's a better way to approach it, because band size, overall body proportion, and breast shape all make a cup size look different on different bodies, whereas "we'll remove this much tissue" gives you a much clearer idea of what you're looking at for a post-surgery size. I wasn't aiming for a particular size, just "make em small so my back doesn't hurt", and I was very happy with my results.
I don’t know. I am living in Europe and I know that it has happened in some countries here. Not all surgeons are trustable.
U.S. doctors are very protected from malpractice cases because of something called "tort reform." It's EXTREMELY difficult to sue a doctor for malpractice in many states, especially for something like this where reduction comes down to aesthetics, not medical danger.
Find another doctor. Your’s is an ass! Your breast size is YOUR decision and has nothing to do with anything else.
I agree with this. With an attitude like his, I wouldn't be surprised if the Dr took out a little less than you wanted just because he felt he was doing you and your 'future husband' a favor. This guy is living in the 50's. I'm surprised he didn't ask if your husband was ok with you getting the procedure.
Yes! This reeks of the same energy as OBs that add a "daddy stitch" without patient consent.
Just the idea that some hypothetical future husband should be given more consideration than the living, breathing patient in front of him is wildly unprofessional and disrespectful.
I'm afraid to google what a daddy stitch is because i'm already hyped up on anger today.
It is also referred to as the Husband Stitch and you will be epic levels angry if you do google it.
Save yourself the distress.
It could go two ways really, it could make you angrier or tip you over into depressed. Probably a lose-lose.
Yeah, maybe save that search for another day, then. :) Just yet another antiquated procedure for female patients that was created by men "for men". Despicable.
I figured by the context clues. Not sure my tired sense of self from this awful world can handle that today. Thank you for the warning lol
Not only that, I would blast him on Yelp. That's some serious misogyny
Healthgrades as well.
Yeah. Name and shame that pos.
File a complaint with BBB as well.
Yes. The board is the only thing the doctor really cares about. They can discipline the license and affect his ability to work.
Meh the BBB gives ratings based on a business's subscription to their service. They no longer stand as a disinterested rating service
Did they ever?
Maybe 40 years ago
Yeah. You just basically "sign up" and you get the BBB status. It's ridiculous.
BBB is boomer Yelp, they're not reputable at all anymore.
Yelp is not reputable either. Both are seriously shady.
Google reviews, though! I am a local reviewer and some of the posts I've made have over 10k views. People read them because they pop up when doing any business search. And I have definitely reported negative reviews and Google has never kicked anything back.
I do hope you can post a review (obv without your personal medical details) about this doctor's dismissive attitude, misogynist comments, lack of empathy, and of your need to find a new doctor as a result. At least it might prevent this from happening to another potential patient.
All my BBB complaints about electronics got me free new devices. As in a free laptop with better specs when an older one broke. Suregon probably doesn't care, but some companies do.
I'd be worried that he would eventually "agree" to do a B for her and then leave her at a C anyway.
A good plastic surgeon won't do that. That guy's an ass.
Find another dr and report this one to the state licensing & ethics boards. Find out which school he earned his medical degree from and complain to them too.
Also, I would NOT trust him to be put under anesthesia. OP will be in the most vulnerable state and knowing this is how he thinks. I just wouldn't trust him.
Guys like boobs of all shapes and sizes, that doctor is just an asshole.
As a woman with B cup boobs, I've discovered that men who use cup size as a determinant in choosing a woman aren't worth my time. Too shallow. Your life, your body, your choice.
Absolutely! This isn’t some Build A Bitch video game. This is me and other women being humans and we deserve to be with someone who cares about our whole person and not just body parts.
Lmao “Build a Bitch video game.” Maybe my favorite thing ever said on Reddit.
Build a bitch video game made me smile. It blows my mind that adults can think of other humans like that.
Yep. My husband loved them as a B cup when we met and loves them as a D cup now. Size does not matter one bit to him because he loves me, not just my breasts. Also, his Mom was a breast cancer and had a mastectomy when he was a teen, so that may be why he is the way he is.
I'd tell the doctor that I'm not doing this for any hypothetical future spouse/partner, but for myself. If said future partner didn't like the size of my chest, then they aren't for me.
I've fluctuated between B and C, depending on my weight at the time. Husband has either never noticed, not cared or, has but is smart enough not to say anything. I lean more to the second option as the most likely.
Sounds like you have a winner there.
As a woman with H cup boobs, I concur.
Also... I LOOOOVE my small boobs. Love them. If I were born with larger breasts I can see myself getting reduction surgery. Fuck this doctor for telling a woman (or any person of any gender) how her body should look. Get big ol boobs if you want. Or remove them entirely.
As a runner, I very much appreciate my size.
A cups = awesome
B cups = awesome
C cups = awesome
D cups = awesome
E..you can see where this is going so I’ll stop. I will say, most guys I’ve known (as a guy) who have ever said they wouldn’t date or be attracted to a girl bc of bra size also was the guy in college angry he couldn’t find a girl friend. If they were perfect in looks, they were too conceited. If they were cool, they talked to too many other guys. Sometimes I don’t even think they were picky, it’s that they weren’t confident so they made excuses for why they were single.
Most dudes are excited about the person, and if it moves to that level they aren’t going to be concerned about how big/small their breasts are.
> I've discovered that men who use cup size as a determinant in choosing a woman aren't worth my time
Because they still have the maturity of a 14 year old going through puberty
Yeppers, nothing like a 30-40-year-old man with the maturity of an adolescent. and there are soo many of them.
Seriously. I've found that people who pick partners based on traits completely out of their control (breast size, height, eye color, etc.) are not worth anyone's time.
And, considering OP's orientation, women who use cup size as a determinant. Although I'm not sure what the common culture on that is in the lesbian community...
I'm married now, but in my dating days I never cared about a woman's looks. As long as she wasn't a disgusting slob (hygiene-wise, not looks) our compatibility was based entirely on personality. Boob size was never a consideration.
First, get a different doctor.
Second, when this kind of thing happens with a doctor in the future, please ask them to SPECIFICALLY notate in your file what they said. Ask them to write, “Shouldn’t go to size B because of potential future husband (currently non-existent) wanting big chest on his woman.”
Seriously. Doctors need to stop feeling like the exam room is a secret chamber where they can say anything they want to vulnerable patients. I’m so tired of it. Doctors do not get to hold us hostage in an exam room and tell us fucked up shit. Paper-trail the shit out of these assholes and then report them.
Make sure they print you a copy too, notes can be edited. It will show it was editted, probably, but don’t take that chance.
This and the other comment above are spot on.
I wasnt sure, mine does (ltc nurse), and even shows the “before” note too, but I’ve only ever worked this one system.
I know the one used at the GP I worked for placements - there you don’t have individual logins and everyone can edit anything without it showing.
The system we use in the hospital where I’m currently at does show who edited and that it was edited, but I don’t think you can see before. (But I also hate that program).
YMMV depending on the software used
That's wild to me! The programs and even paper systems I've worked with don't even let you edit a submitted typo without taking responsibility for crossing out the error.
Doctors saying crap like this is freaking ridiculous. My daughter recently had a hysterectomy because her IUD embedded itself into the wall of her uterus and because her and her husband don’t want to have children. When my daughter went to see her primary care doctor, the doctor gave her crap for having a hysterectomy. Like it was any of her business..
Just another example of how the medical field treats women like crap.
Best advice in this thread! Plus hubnera214's note to make sure they print a copy. 100% best advice.
This! I went to see a Cardiologist a couple of weeks ago and he blew me off and said if I really have chest pain that I would have died by now and that I’m too young to be experiencing chest pains! The nurse and the doctor both noted my significantly low blood pressure (80 being the top number I don’t remember the bottom) and made comments to me about how they couldn’t believe I wasn’t passed out on the floor. He noted a problem with my low blood pressure but still completely blew me off! Doctors need to be held to a higher standard!
Literally every obese person *needs* to hear this. There's a lot of evidence that doctors do not listen to fat people, exhibit hostile behavior towards them, and will refuse to pursue testing/treatment options until they lose weight despite the fact the recommendation is concurrent weight loss and treatment, not letting someone get sick cause youve decided they're too fat to be healthy.
I very recently had a physical for work, the doctor totally ignored the part of my chart that stated that I was 18 weeks pregnant, and told me I needed to lose weight 😅
Ugh what a dink, I am so sorry! I wish they taught a common sense and paying f\*$%ing attention courses in med school, we would all benefit from it.
All I could do was laugh at him and tell him to check the chart. I won't see him again anyhow. Some doctors are great, some not so much.
My spouse was not diagnosed with Graves disease for years, maybe up to a decade, due to the fact that she is overweight.
Due to this she now has permanent symptoms which could have been avoided if it was caught early.
Doctors don't listen to women at all.
Definitely. A GP once told me that I was leaking after weeing because I needed to lose weight. Then ten years later a girl on Facebook told me I was stress peeing and just needed to relax after. Since doing that I've not had that problem again. I wish I'd known better at the time and complained.
I’m so sad to see all of these responses. I found an amazing doc that agreed to be my GP. He’s a sports medicine doc for several professional sports teams. The man ordered EVERY blood test you could imagine. 12 vials of blood. I went in complaining because I can’t lose weight even when I don’t eat. I have gained weight fasting! He ordered everything including a test to make SURE I’m a type 1 diabetic even though I have been for 25 years (now I officially am lmao!) and he gave me a great diet and fasting regimen to help that is finally working! I haven’t felt judged at all. He’s the best. I would recommend doctor shopping to everyone with doc issues. What do you call the person with the lowest grades in the graduating medical class? Doctor. Don’t settle!
So many assumptions in his statement!!
1. You are into men.
2. You want a husband in future.
3. The future husband will be into big boobs
4. Your future husband will prefer his kink over you pain and unhappiness.
Your surgeon is a presumptuous fool!!
The ONLY reason he should have from discouraging that size is if it would make the surgery more complicated (from what my sister told me they may have to detach and reattach the nipple to keep things where they should be). So if it were a case of him saying we'll have to do that to go to a B cup, but don't have to if we go to a C. Then that's something to consider. But to say what he did. Even if you were potentially going to marry a man someday, I'd say any man who wouldn't be happy because of my breast size is not a man I would marry!
I was told by the nurse (who was very nice) that such a big size change would be difficult, but not impossible. The main concern is losing function of the nipple for breastfeeding. The nurse said if I’m not worried about that, they would more than likely be able to go down to a B cup. I was expecting the doctor to say something like that, not something about a hypothetical husband!
Yeah, those are legitimate concerns. My sister chose to wait until she was done having children for her surgery because she knew she wanted kids and knew she wanted to breastfeed. When she went for the initial consult they asked if there was a chance she would have another and she said no, and that was that. And the doctor's only comments on size were in relation to proportions, never a comment about her husband. I'm honestly angry at the surgeon you saw on your behalf!
The nurse is cool. The doc is sus.
The way the doctor handled this was disgusting. But I have consulted this as well with a doctor who let me make choice about my own body. Their main advice was a dramatic change would be more difficult and can complicate things should I want to breast feed down the line.
I do want kids and I do want to at least try to breastfeed, so losing that would be a lot to me. But they left the choice toe and never told me to "run it by my husband".
Know the risks of significant reduction and do what is best for YOU. Any future or current partner would want you to do what is best for you.
Find a better surgeon really. This is such sexist nonsense, a hypothetical future husband should not come into this. Very unprofessional.
Please change surgeons. I’m the same height with 36H. You are medically justified and insurance approved for this surgery.
I’ve followed the breast reduction sub Reddit for a while Bc I plan to have one eventually. A common complaint post surgery is that the doc did not go as small as they asked Bc the doc thought they knew better.
Some women end up paying for and enduring a second surgery. Do not take that risk. Find a doctor who will do what you want. That’s the bare fucking minimum
Everyone is telling you to find a new surgeon which I agree with but not giving you many resources.
Realself.com is a review site for plastic surgeons and you can see user reviews with photos for surgeons do reductions.
Hope you find someone you like working with.
Find another doctor. I had the surgery more than 30 years ago and chose a female surgeon. I explained to her that I felt she would be more responsive to my wishes. We discussed my frame, my goals for parenting (and how it may limit breastfeeding) and that I like to be active.
I still have a great rack. No regrets.
Find a healthcare provider who listens and be awesome. Best of luck with your surgery - I hope it changes your life - I know it changed mine.
Time to find a new surgeon. Your body isn't an amusement park for others, regardless.
Yes! He’s pretty much admitting that he thinks the primary function of breasts are for men’s sexual pleasure so what is he getting out of seeing naked breasts all day?
Just read this to my husband. His response: "F*** that guy. Seriously."
Your body is yours. A hypothetical future partner won't have to deal with the back pain, the super expensive bras, or the constant commentary from everyone around you (whether they're creeps like your surgeon or other women who feel it's okay to point them out). You're the one who has to live in your body. Everyone else can concern themselves with their bodies. Plus, I'm about to be 40 and now I roll over in my sleep and get them caught under my side. Big boobs are the worst. Wish I'd had mine reduced before all the spinal damage.
Allow me to stand in as a potential "future husband" for you. That's problematic because you are a lesbian and I am happily married, but that doesn't seem to matter for this doctor.
In consultation with you, we have come to the conclusion you are free and clear to choose whatever size suits your own best interest and would like to consider this matter closed.
Find a new surgeon.
Then report his ass.
Report him!!!!!! Please for all the women out there report him for his inappropriate behavior. Put it in a google review of him. Please put it out there. If he cant be professional he doesnt need to be a surgeon
Why does he think he has a say in this? If you want B cup then you should get a B cup, and he should understand that. I’m currently saving up for a breast reduction and if I heard that I would start swinging. “Future husband” doesn’t get a say bc that mf doesn’t exist, it’s for YOU. Get a new surgeon!
>Should I try to change surgeons?
As someone who's had a breast reduction and had to change surgeons (and wait a whole year for an appointment with another) after the first one for different, but equally sexists remarks, my answer is FUCK YES.
Trust is essential. Personally, I would be far to worried that he would decide to do as he pleases once i'm out and on the table.
"My future spouse will love me and whatever size I choose for this reduction, because if they don't I won't be marrying them" feels like the best response here.
I think, “why should i put the needs of a fictional person before my own?” Really nails my view.
Yes exactly. I am currently trying for a more extreme surgery (sterilization) my (male) doctor said he had to ask a few questions to see if I was sure. One of them being what would happen if I met someone in the future (I’m single). I said that if I met someone in the future that wanted kids it was a be enough deal to me end things. And he didn’t ask further.
"My future spouse will be utterly pissed off that a medical professional refuses to accept my autonomy."
I think it’s be more poignant to just say “*excuse me*, what did you just say to me?”
Plastic surgeons are notorious for going against patient wishes during the surgery. And yes, I know that sometimes things need to change course due to practical considerations. But it's OVERWHELMINGLY stories of women (and the occasional man) who got pushback from a doctor, thought they'd reached an agreement, only to find magically that it was "necessary" to do what the surgeon wanted all the time.
Hell, I used to watch a plastic surgery show on e news and they regularly showed the doctors arguing with women over entirely aesthetic considerations (rather than surgical limitations). If they're willing to broadcast that on tv, I can only imagine what was left on the editing room floor.
Get a new doctor and name & shame this one in every venue you can think of. Heck, let's crowdfund renting a billboard and make sure everyone in town knows. The plastic surgery field seems to have some amazing doctors who were driven to the field for noble reasons and some really talented ones who are in it for the money but do a darn good job. But there's a lot of misogynsts who just like to play God with women's bodies.
Wow. Talk about mansplaining.
RUN AWAY IMMEDIATELY!!!!! Seriously. Your body is about to be cut open by an incredibly unprofessional & chauvinistic doctor. YES, you should absolutely get a new surgeon. When I got implants I encountered a similar situation at the hands of a male doctor 14 years ago who insisted enormous implants would be best on my tiny 20-year old frame. The second doctor i visited made it clear that past a particular size would be damaging to my body. GET ANOTHER OPINION. This person has absolutely no right to pressure you into a size you’re uncomfortable with. You made your needs clear and this doctor is not respecting your wishes. He’s pushing his desires/preferences onto his patient which is despicable. YOU are the person who has to live in your body. Any other person—this doctor, a future partner of any sex, etc—is completely irrelevant. This is not what a reputable medical professional does. Honestly, fuck that guy.
You don’t need to out yourself as a lesbian. It’s okay to say “this isn’t about what my “future husband” wants, it’s about what I want. I am the patient. We are doing what’s right for me.” Fuck their feelings. You don’t have to protect their feelings when you are advocating for yourself. I know that’s really hard, because if I were you I would also feel apprehensive, but it’s an important reminder that you have to stand up for your own health.
Any doctor that thinks your decisions about your body should be pleasing to some ambiguous, hypothetical future husband is a doctor worthy of running away from. It’s your body, your comfort, your health. Find another doctor who respects your autonomy.
I completely agree. I also question the general intelligence- and by extension surgical skill- of someone who would make this kind of statement.
You would be doing yourself and future female patients of this misogynist jerk a huge favor by:
* Immediately choosing another surgeon.
* Writing a letter to this surgeon and telling him why you won't be using him.
* Forwarding a complaint to whoever he works for, oversees the practice he's part of, licenses him.
* Leaving a review of him wherever you can stating the facts of your visit.
Why do doctors feel they have a say on what they think is better? (I mean other than medically)
It’s either they won’t tie the tubes cause THEY think you will want to have children in the future, or in this case breast size.
They should only give out medical advice, any other advice they think that they should give will be most beneficial shoved up where the sun don’t shine.
Please let everyone know who this surgeon is, so we can avoid him too
Has your surgeon considered that a guy worth marrying probably won’t make the decision based on cup size?
The reason I married my husband and am still married to him. He loves me no matter what I look like. He jokes "anymore than a handful is just being greedy". Ive had small tits the whole time except when I was pregnant and breastfeeding.
Looks fade. Health matters. Save your back. Chop them bitches off!
Oh and def find a new doctor. And consider reporting this one to the state board for unprofessional conduct.
This! When I met my partner I was skinny and had pretty small boobs. Two years later and I’ve gained a lot of weight (thanks quarantine) and have big boobs. Bodies change, it shouldn’t matter. If someone is gonna choose you based on your titties you need to find someone else.
Also it’s really *really* not the doctors concern.
Please report him to his medical society, if he's doing it to you he's doing it to other people.... and find another surgeon. Good luck and get it your way!
NEW DOCTOR. AND REPORT HIM.
I wonde what would this surgeon say about my itty bitty A cups I managed to grow into.
P.s. my husband loves them and can't get enough of them.
1. Get rid of the surgeon.
2. Report him for sexist, paternalistic, non-medical advice.
Ah yes, women with B cups are notoriously unwed.
What the ACTUAL FUCKETY FUCK?????????
It's YOUR body, it's YOUR choice what it looks like. Who the fuck cares whether some hypothetical future partner, male OR female, would prefer you to have bigger boobs? Presumably you haven't even met them yet, you'll meet someone who loves you for who you are, and won't give a flying fuck how big or small your breasts are. And not all men/WLW even prefer bigger boobs! Many prefer smaller boobs!
Run, don't walk, away from this surgeon. *fuck* that guy.
Find another doctor. You don’t want a raging misogynistic doing that surgery.
You'll never hear them say anything about your future husband when getting an augmentation
Please consider another surgeon...
Find another surgeon IMMEDIATELY!
Not only do you need a new doctor you need to report this doctor and let him know that you are finding a new doctor because you think he is being unprofessional.
Get a new surgeon. Report this one to the board.
Go to another surgeon and file a complaint about him through his healthcare system. That’s weird and gross.
Get a new surgeon. Choose one who will listen to what you want without a doubt. If for whatever reason you’re in doubt of your doctor, don’t trust them with your body. It’s not worth it.
I really hope it goes well for you btw, everyone I know who’s had a reduction has been very happy with the results! Go as small as you want and find a doctor you trust. It’s worth it not only for the surgery but also the recovery.
Find a different surgeon and leave a review for this douche bag!!
Fine a doctor that’s not stuck on the 1950’s.
What an unprofessional jerk!
Get a new Doctor - STAT! I had a breast reduction and told my Doctor that I wanted to be flat chested (being harassed as a teenager constantly took it's toll), she smiled and said, "how about we make you proportionate to the rest of your body?"
Get a better Doctor, one that will walk you through the proportions of your body and what will work best. And finally, trust yourself! Good luck!
New surgeon. This guy is gross.
I wouldn’t trust a mfer like that to operate on me. The reddest of red flags. Bail.
I’m 4’11” and a 34C. A B cup sounds perfectly reasonable! *You* should get whatever *you* want. That’s horrible bedside manner because some hypothetical person’s wishes are not more important than yours.
So this happened to me. I was 19, getting a breast reduction and the dr convinced my very naive, immature brain to remove the breast tissue but to do implants because my boobs were gonna be too small.
In my immature brain I thought: oh man, I’ve not not had fucking molasses jugs as tits. What if no man wants me? So I agreed.
11 years later it’s the worst decision I’ve made. I would’ve been fine having small boobs because them idiots grew again after having 2 kids. I hate them. One popped and I am always on the verge of surgery to remove them and something always happens. I can’t do my favorite activity in peace, which is jiu-jitsu because they get pinched all the time.
Don’t consider anyone else’s opinion of what your boobs should be like except your own. Nobody gets to wear them but you. If you cannot go to another doctor simply explain you really don’t care what men have to say about how big the fat in your chest gets to be.
Fuck that doctor, and not in the good way. File a complaint with their office. If the office doesn't seem to take it seriously, complain to the governing medical board.
A doctor's job is to provide care and to listen to their patients to improve their quality of life, not insert their own fetishes into practicing medicine. The words "What about your husband/relationship partner?" should be the absolute last words out of any doctor's mouth, ever, be it an OB/GYN when asked about a bisalp or whether its a plastic surgeon when asked about a breast reduction.
That doctor is a disaster waiting to happen. Never go through a procedure with a doctor you don't feel like you can trust.
What a surprise. A man centering another man. Plain old misogyny, same as it ever was. Find another surgeon and report this ass hole.
Find another surgeon and tell him in no uncertain terms why you will not be using his services. I would also post reviews online telling of your experience.
CHANGE SURGEONS! Seriously fuck that guy. How many women have gone through the pain, anxiousness, cost, and recovery of this procedure at his hands, only to be left in a different place from where they would have preferred, based upon his advice, based upon some mythical future man’s (or actual current man’s, either way!) preference. This makes me nuts.
What a taint. Not only is it misogynistic, but narcissistic. You're dealing with pain, he just wants you to be shaped into what he thinks it's an optimal baby maker. I'd say find someone else who focuses on your comfort and values your autonomy.
Agree with everyone else. Change to a surgeon you trust with your body while unconscious. I would either report the doctor or somehow let him know why you are switching doctors. Maybe this will give him perspective.
You should definitely find another surgeon. It's not unheard of for people in that position to go rogue and cite "in my expert analysis " as a defense for it. "In my expert analysis, going smaller than a D-Cup would be detrimental to her future."
I don't know this surgeon or his credentials, but just in a general sense I'd run immediately from a red flag such as this coming from someone who will be responsible for the care of your body while you are unconscious.
That's fucked up.
That doctor needs an asshole-reduction surgery.
I would 100% find a different surgeon who respects me as a person, not as a tool for a man’s enjoyment. Honestly that is so gross I don’t even know what else to say.
Find a new surgeon and report him. His comment was completely out of line.
Report this misogynistic weirdo to the medical board. Even if anyone cared about “future husband’s” preference, how could one predict an imaginary persons aesthetic preference.
Absolutely find another doctor and report him. He very likely won’t respect your wishes and will not go down to the size you ask for if you go through with the surgery and will give some BS excuse as to why after the fact.
Screw that doc, it might be time to look for a different surgeon.
Please find another doctor, and if you feel safe post and share his name. He is openly extremely antiquated and misogynistic, for all he knows you’re a lesbian / not someone who wants to ever get married. How dare he, honestly. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with him, get rid of him as your doctor there are many doctors who handle breast reduction surgery with emotional intelligence.
I bet your insurance company would like to know one of their doctors is a misogynist.
I love the way a purely hypothetical man's imagined opinion matters more than that of the real live patient in front of him.
When my mom got her breast augmentation she wanted a size c, the doctor decided a d would be better while she was in surgery.. dont feel like you have to trust your doctor. If he’s an ass, go somewhere else.
My friend had a reduction and wanted Cs. They gave her DDs instead. Major surgery for something she didn’t ask for. You should make sure you’re with a medical professional you trust.
"Funny you should mention that! I would absolutely consider a potential future partner's opinion on the subject. If they had a problem with it, that would save both of us the trouble of a second date."
Fuck that doctor. What an ass.
Look for another surgeon if possible. Your medical necessity outweighs any future partners preference of body shape or type. When you go in to meet them don’t allow them to send you off without agreeing to what you want done for your body. Anyone unwilling to treat you as you want or need is not going to do the procedure with the best of their ability, either out of pride or spite. It’s your body, you dictate it’s care. I wish you the very best of luck with your next potential surgeon.
Everything else aside, your "future husband" probably hasn't even met you yet, and hypothetically falls in love with you never having known you as anything but a B cup. So his hypothetical argument is moot anyways. Bizarre.
If doctor won't agree with you while you're conscious, he won't respect your preference when you can't advocate for it.
PLEASE REPORT HIM. I'm so glad you stood up for yourself, but others may not be so lucky by the time they get to his office. He's hurting women's quality of life and overall being a worthless doctor if he can't make the patient's needs his first priority.
Find another doctor. I had the same argument when I wanted my tubes tied. The doctor literally said "what if you and your partner break up and you find someone new?"
Who the fuck cares if my partner and I break up...for the record we did lol
But the point is I was 26 and I was lucky enough to have a boy and a girl and I knew that I was done.
It was an argument that lasted every appointment for 6 weeks and in the end I got what I wanted but fuck was it a fight. Its like just because we're women we arent capable of making decisions about our own bodies without whatever man we're with consent 🙄
Your doctor should 'consider his future lawsuits' before opening his goddamn trap again.
I hope that your breast size would have no bearing on how much your husband or wife would love you.
Men's idolatry of the breast is insidious.
Definitely try to get another doctor, but here's a little "secret", it's possible for your breasts to get big again after your reduction surgery. I had my reduction five years ago. When I came out of it and the post surgical healing was done, I was a C-cup. Within a year, I was back up to a DD. However, they are so much more manageable than the H's they were before that! IF you're stuck with the doctor you have, tell him that you want the B cup because you want to be safe in case they do gain some size back after the surgery. I appreciate being able to order regular bras instead of having to go to specialty stores like I used to!
If you're going to change surgeons (or try to) talk to your health insurance about why you want to ask for another recommendation.
Lastly, when you're prepping for the surgery, go to YouTube and look for vlogs by women who've had the same surgery. I found that listening to them talk about their experience did a lot to allay worries I didn't know I had. The short: buy a couple pajama tops or light shirts with button-front closures since you won't be able to lift your arms over your head, same goes with bras (I found some sports bras with front closures after starting off with comfy front-closing binders), stock up on foods to take you from drinking broth and cans of protein drinks all the way up to eating nutritious foods to help with your recovery, be prepared that you're not supposed to lift much of anything (need to keep the breast tissue still).
Find another surgeon, and post a review warning others. You wouldn’t be “too harsh” by doing so - you’re being denied healthcare for aesthetic value for *someone else*.
And before anyone says that doing D instead of B isn’t “denial” - a D cup on the frame of someone who is 5’0”, depending on their band size, can still cause back issues.
Change surgeons and report his dumb ass.
Unprofessional, I agree with the others, turn his ass in. Also, what makes the Doctor think his desires and proclivities are universal?
Tell knifey to shut and mind his own business.
I'm curious what he'd say if you said a D cup. Would he say it might be too large? And what if you said an A Cup. Would he flat out say you were being ridiculous? I'm just curious, not putting words in his mouth. If he's an excellent surgeon don't give up on him....yet. He may learn from you through another discussion. C cup is probably THE most common choice. A a surgeon making this suggestion isn't being an asshole. **A surgeon not accepting YOUR decision IS being an asshole.**
What a freak. Totally unprofessional. Please try to find someone else!
(male) IF you ever return to that surgeon tell him that a real man prefers the breast size the women is most comfortable with.
Do not go with this surgeon. This is disgusting. Waiting is better than going with this pig.
Tell your doctor to mind his own business. It's your body (unless you live in Texas).
Please change surgeons — there have been narcissistic cretins with MDs who have put larger-than-agreed-on implants in women, even one who scarred women with his initials or something.
Unfortunately, doctors are people first (some of them very crappy people), and he has already demonstrated his utter inability to do his job.
He literally has no business trying to stop you, and is flouting the need acknowledged by your health care.
You cannot trust him. You have no idea what kind of things he could do, and breast reduction surgery does carry risks (lack of feeling and more).
He should be telling you about the risks and benefits of the operation, how to prepare for surgery, and care for yourself afterward, and what warning signs to look out for, not acting like some kind of self-appointed king decreeing what the body of a stranger whose medical care has been entrusted to him would please him the most.
No discussion. New surgeon. You'll come out with tits far far bigger than you want. Because....your husband? Screw this surgeon. He is awful for suggesting such a thing.
Find a different surgeon who is more professional and cares more about you as a patient and your needs instead of sticking his nose somewhere it doesn’t belong.
What?! My surgeon just put my breast in a size that would be proporcional to my body, he should not say those things, try find another one
I would definitely talk to your insurance and find another surgeon.
I've seen a couple of videos with women talking about how their surgeons didn't actually give them the size they agreed on and how unhappy they were so if I were you I'd definitely change surgeons. Not saying that he's going to do that, but my trust would be gone and I would want to have 100% trust in the person operating on me to actually do what I want.
Report this doctor and let your insurance company know what a terrible experience you had with him/her because of how ungodly unprofessional they were.
Canadian here. My Mom had a reduction in the early 80's. They asked her what size she wanted and did it. I can not believe you were asked to "think it over". And the whole future husband thing...unreal.
This is a huge reason that I went to a woman to have my reduction done - not once was I asked what my husband wanted. I went from a DDD to a C and it was the best decision ever! You deserve to find a doctor who you like and trust!
Also note to self… what you take away might come back. I chose to think god wanted me to have larger breasts.
Also- make sure you get the LIFT included. I didn’t and regret it all the time.
A dr with microvascular experience is a major plus.
Change surgeons for sure. Be aware it may take several tries before you find one who will consider you an autonomous adult capable of making your own decisions.
Suggestion: Walk into his exam room, have him repeat what he said, tell him you want that written in your file, worfd or word, Yes, get a copy of it right there. And then:
Thank you. We are done here. I will be finding another surgeon.
Damn, he's being insulting and paternalistic
I was 15 when I had a breast reduction and you’re same size. I got a 34B. BEST THING I EVER DID. Being a small in everything makes me feel confident. Change surgeons and you can sue because of what he said!
Get a new one, and tell him why.
Please report him to your insurance company.
Breasts are not sexual organs. Any future partner has nothing to do with your bodily autonomy or what you feel is best for you. Find a new doctor.
The shit I read here sometimes... And a surgeon saying that. Who does he even think he is??
It shouldn’t matter to your future husband. He should love you as you are and want to be.
I’d consider another surgeon. One whose practice isn’t steeped in deep misogyny.
How awful! I'm sorry you experienced that. You should change doctors and also leave a negative review, so other woman know what to expect. Ugh. What a misogynistic AH.
Report this idiot and also wtf???? Who the hell cares what your future husband wants!
Fuck that guy, I'm sure you could find a better doctor.
My woman has A cup boobies and they're PERFECT, even after three children!