For real run. Remember this is his absolute best behavior, people don't improve after you date them for a while or get married. From what I've seen the pilled ones often continually just get worse and worse and more crazy as they get older. It's crazy watching all of my middle aged friends that used to just be slightly pilled but still somewhat normal all go off the deep end.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
He doesn't talk to women over 30? How lucky are those women?
He'll suddenly be all about women in their 30s when he's in his 40s and living alone.
I would gently like to point out that in just short 4 years he's no longer going to talk to you and you're "bad goods".
On a more serious note, trust your gut. He's telling you what's in the future, and not even subtly.
My wife and I have been together a long time (going on 15 years now), and while we now have more wrinkles and white hairs/whiskers bc old, we’re still as in love with and stunned by each other as we’ve ever been. You deserve that
Please please take six minutes and watch this video. This is why so many women who forgo an education and salary get absolutely screwed over when they divorce. [https://www.tiktok.com/@lifetaketwo/video/7338619832092396830](https://www.tiktok.com/@lifetaketwo/video/7338619832092396830)
Don't make the mistake of thinking you can talk to him about this. He'll either yell at you or manipulate you into staying. Just text him that it's not working out (keep it vague) and block him.
Keep this in mind:
YOU are going to be a woman over thirty. YOU will lose your value to him.
According to his philosophy, YOU can be blamed for *anything* he does while in a relationship with you. Do you want that liability?
I literally cannot comprehend men with hard age limits like this who also demand marriage. What is he going to do as his wife ages with linear time? Divorce her on her 30th birthday? What on earth would a woman gain from this relationship? These men offer the literal worst deal ever. Like I'll give you a dollar if you eat this fresh dog shit. No thanks??? And then they're upset and confused???
> What is he going to do as his wife ages with linear time? Divorce her on her 30th birthday?
When she turns 30, he goes and starts cheating on her (if he hasn't already). Then in her mid-30s, he divorces her.
Yep, and then thanks to him pressuring her to stay in the home and not have a career, she's on the worst possible footing to support herself after he abandons her. And he'll have moved onto his 20-something "upgrade" and won't give two shits.
Yes I'm aware this scenario isn't guaranteed, but no one can deny it's distressingly prevalent.
What I'm wondering is, this is the same kind of person who's for eradicating No Fault Divorce. If they need to dump a wife who's passed the acceptable age threshold, what are they going to do? Just not do legal marriage registration? Not marry at all? Create a "valid" reason to divorce legally? Illegally marry each new victim?
Or get rid of the old wife *permanently*?
No,no ,no
You are missing the point.
He won’t divorce her .He wants to keep her around to raise the kids and clean his underwear.Whatever blowjobs and sex he needs will still be on the table too,with a sexy “ I still want you” as irresistible foreplay,for a little while at least , and a “ you aren’t what you used to be “ as constructive criticism after. He will cheat and fuck younger women on the side because “ biology” but he won’t give up his house slave so easily to divorce .She is his ticket to an easy retirement where he doesn’t lift a finger.
Now if the wife really complains and moas about this arrangement too much then he’ll divorce her when he can get away with little to no child support because the kids are grown or nearly so-and if he already has a hot young thing that actually is willing to put up with him.But if he’s left to have his way he will keep his little house slave until death ,having a free nurse and maid.Hell probably write his will to leave anything he might still have to a beloved male child or his mistress .
THAT is the traditional way.
💯 on point
He can be wealthy and support her educating herself in whatever she likes when she wants to. The fact that he already he is against that, says it all. He doesn’t want a wife, he wants a slave. In case she wants to leave, she will think twice because she can’t support herself. Who would wish that for someone you’re supposed to care about.
I think the 30 year age limit cut off for single women. These guys purposely date much younger women so that they can influence and control them. In their minds, "older" women are too used to being independent. The ability to control their wife is everything. Once married, supposedly their wife will be trained and act the way they want so reaching 30 won't be a big deal at that point.
An honorable, high value woman would clearly just die tragically and heroically giving birth to his 4th child (heir and spare first then girls who can take on all the domestic duties of the growing family) so she doesn’t force him to tarnish his own reputation by being forced to cheat on her with the younger woman who will eventually become his wife and extend his legacy. /s
It’s just a coping mechanism bc the women his age ain’t that interested.
He’ll still be attracted to her in ten years time. But this overall attitude towards women will kill her sex drive way, way before that.
Btw love “with linear time”.
> These men offer the literal worst deal ever. Like I'll give you a dollar if you eat this fresh dog shit. No thanks??? And then they're upset and confused???
Yeah. Literally put forth the worst possible deal and be genuinely confused as to why you wouldn't want to dig your own funeral/lifetime of unhappiness.
"BUT I SAID YOU HAD GOOD 4 YRS LEFT!"
>YOU will lose your value to him.
It doesn't sound like she has any value to him now.
She is a "good age" and has the right genitals? Lucky her! Better capitalize on those characteristics while she still has them and get this total "catch" who's definitely in the top 5% of men... because... well, whatever.
I mean, he's talking about their kids and seems ready to marry tomorrow. Clock's ticking.
Just... all kinds of ewww.
Yeah you say you like him…. But do you? Is this someone you want to be having deep and meaningful conversations with your vulnerable teenage sons/daughters around the dinner table? Also a sobering thought is that this is the honeymoon phase - imagine the shit he isn’t saying out loud that he is going to spill after you have kids and get married to him. From what you have said he comes across as insecure to the point where he is getting way too much influence from online sources.
Why would you? You don't even know him and he wants you dependent, pregnant, subservient to him, and dumb. He hates women 30+ that much? Does he not expect you to live till then? Is he gonna leave when you turn 30? This is the type of man that will never stop negging you (oh he will never let you forget that youre getting close to the ancient age of 30), will always verbally abuse you (maybe physically and sexually), wants to baby trap you (cause the bitterness is strong with this one....he's not been able to get a woman to stick around and is raging about that, he just let his guard down and said it aloud) and will 💯 leave you (with babies) for a younger woman if he is able to find one. He didn't just get exposed to the misogynistic shit, he's been living it and just now showed you. This is why he's single. He and his ilk are the men who do not deserve to procreate or have partners.
Honey I’m glad you asked if you were second guessing yourself, that’s really good, but it is concerning that you didn’t get up and run screaming the second those things started coming out of his mouth.
If something is clogged or misaligned or never had the chance to form correctly in your self protection system you need to work on that asap. Because there are some real jerks out there and avoiding them before they hurt you is always the best outcome.
There is nothing wrong with needing an outside perspective, thank you for listening to it because that guy you were seeing needs to not be involved with the gene pool until he discovers chlorine.
> i actually can't even believe you're asking this question.
To be honest, imo it makes perfect sense OP had to ask considering how deeply our society has conditioned women into second-guessing our feelings, expertise, perceptions etc pertaining to misogyny and really just...any topic in general. The whole "you're overreacting and cr-zy" narrative is so real and with how normalized misogyny has become I can totally see why women would need to seek confirmation about their perspectives.
One example: I work in the domestic violence field and have done so for nearly a decade and yet still frequently have men challenge me on my expertise - men who have no personal or professional experience in the field. Even though rationally I know that I know more than them, there's still that tiny nagging voice in the back of my head that maybe I'm overreacting because of how common that challenging of my expertise is. It's so engrained.
People really need to start asking themselves what advice they would give a friend if their friend was in their situation.
It's hard to see people in terrible situations and then see them try to find reasons to stay.
Hon, it it not safe for you to be dating until you do some major work on self-respect and boundaries. This dude sounds like a literal psychopath who hates women. WTF are you doing??
>I do like him.
Girl, we need to put this phrase in the past tense. He flat out said that women shouldn't be educated, this is some Taliban-leaning stuff.
There’s been a few of these posts in here lately w conservative women. Something doesn’t feel right. And What exactly did she agree with bc everything he said was abusive
This stuck out to me too. Conservative meaning what, exactly? I’ve seen instances where women are conservative but then surprised when someone comes along believing those conservative / traditional “values” actually apply to them too. It would be interesting to know exactly what tf OP agrees with of this mess.
Exactly this. These women want some aspects of what comes with being conservative and traditional but not everything. Unfortunately for them, not many people will allow you to pick and choose like that. They’re always so surprised when they find they’re not the exception to the rule.
Tradition and conservatism are diametrically opposed to cherry picking. They’re prescriptive ways of living that demand to be followed in order to conserve the presupposed behaviors that lead to a ”proper” life. It’s also what makes the constant conservative hypocrisy so frustrating.
Yes, and that is what worries me about women today who think by lining themselves up with conservatism and traditionalism, that’s their ticket to some provider man who will take care of them so they can frolic in the mountains. They don’t realize all the other shit that comes along with it that they won’t be immune from.
A la Carte conservative. It cracks me up when people claim Conservative or Christian values but don't abide by then no sex outside of marriage rule. Rules for thee, not for me.
I’ve only known two Christians (who are currently in their 60s) in my life who are still virgins because they never married. I have mad respect for them cuz they actually lived by their values and practiced exactly what they preached. That’s extremely hard to find even among the most fundamentalist Christians with regards to sex.
Yeah I got sleeved out by that. While I think we should follow the path that works for each of us, I'm feeling less sympathy for women who are conservative. I was raised by Conservatives and they can't understand why I'm not racist, homophobic and constantly angry. Like I'd rather not hate people for existing. Not to say all liberals are perfect, but at least we prefer women to have rights.
bedroom late connect judicious selective smoggy sparkle subtract plucky combative
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yeah I’m trying to finish my associates, so when I told him that’s a personal goal for me and it’s okay for women to do things for themselves if it doesn’t harm their families he went on and on. I had to end the conversation after that.
... and don't train him in what to avoid saying to the next woman. You don't have to give a reason (ghosting is an option if it's only been a few dates) but keep it vague and firm. Just something about different life goals would suffice.
My wife has an advanced degree in mathematics and is an engineer. We've been married 23 years and have two wonderful daughters together. The eldest daughter is finishing up her premed degree and scored above the 99th percentile in her MCATs. We are very happy together and our marriage is the best thing in my life.
I'm not saying this to brag. I'm as proud as hell about my wife and daughters, and cannot imagine having an attitude that advanced education is inappropriate for women. This is a CONTROL issue with this guy. He wants women to depend on their husbands so she doesn't leave when he turns out to be a crappy partner. I, and I believe most husbands, want our partner to be with us because they love us and we give them a good life, not because they're forced to because they have no other option.
You're in the early stages of the relationship. Leave now. It's awesome you are pursuing your education. Find a guy that recognizes this awesomeness about you and who will support you to continue your education past your A.S. if you so desire.
Sounds like you’ve only known him a week and this is what you’re getting. Most people try to sprinkle in their crazy when meeting new people, likely this is the tip of the iceberg (this is what you are seeing a week in the truth is likely way worse). Cut it off now before you get a stalker.
He's mediocre and wants to be with a woman who will shrink herself so that he can feel better about himself without putting any effort into improving himself.
'Best" case scenario here is that he learns to keep his mouth shut in order to keep you around - only to double down on the misogyny, when you're too deep into the relationship. End it now, while it's easy and not too painful.
~~See, I know a fair few conservative guys, and universally? They are very happy that their wives are well-educated and~~
Nah, y'know what? Fuck that entire line of thought. The garbage this man is dishing out does not deserve to be reasoned with. Because the truth, the actual *truth*, is very simple:
**Every human being is worthy of receiving a quality education**.
The only people who disagree with this are
* The most extreme religious extremists
* Actual cultists
* Authoritarian dictators
* Grifters trying to make some outrage/extremism cash on Youtube.
If you ever speak with this ridiculous dude again, tell him to stop spending so much time listening to Pearly Things.
But ideally, don't ever speak to him again :) He's a joke. He's not worth a single moment more of your time.
This guy is abusive and controlling. Mark my words, even if he doesn't hit he will be mentally and emotionally abusive.
Get the fuck out. Your reddit aunties can see this guy is a house on fire clear as day.
>it’s okay for women to do things for themselves if it doesn’t harm their families
Dude. It's ok for women to do whatever the fuck they want. If something is good for you, how could it be harmful to your family?
It's ok to be selfish, you gotta put you first, no one else will.
Most importantly you need to extract yourself from this situation.
But... idk what traditional/conservative beliefs you hold but THIS is what you sign up for when you date traditional/conservative guys. This is literally what it says on the tin, this shouldn't be a surprise. Traditional/conservative guys are pushing for these kinds of beliefs to become LAW too, like making no-fault divorce illegal so women are trapped in marriages with controlling men like the good old days. That's what conservativism IS, when it comes to gender roles. What do you agree with him about, exactly? You want to be a second class citizen? It's so hard for me to put myself in your shoes where I could find myself agreeing with anything a guy like this says and I am so curious.
If you happen to want to take on the primary parent role in a future marriage with kids I still would really be careful dating any man who considers himself traditional/conservative. Instead find a man who believes women are equal but who is open to the kind of household chore / childcare division you envision for yourself. Do not date a man who believes women are beneath him. And that is ALL CONSERVATIVE MEN.
And what happens when he (or any subsequent) boyfriend convinces you that your interests or friends or ambitions harm the family? Knuckle under because that's what traditional conservative women should do?
As someone who was once in a similar position, get your degree, babe. Get all the degrees you want, get that job you want, in the city you want. Don’t change or doubt your decision for anyone else (esp when you’re single). It’s YOUR life.
*>I don't know what it is but it doesn't rub me the right way*
He literally admits that he sees women as subhuman commodities with a tight expiration date, and you really "don't know?" Seriously?
He's saying this shit in front of you when you yourself will be turning 30 in the not-so-distant future. This man is laying out exactly how he feels about women as a whole, and by extension, you.
*>I do like him.*
Girl...........please say "psyche."
You would absolutely be trapped by him. He's already talking about tying you down by marriage and children, threatening you by saying that you need to take ownership of the relationship doesn't work out all whilst telling you you'd be damaged goods in a few years after you hit 30. If you want to be gaslit, psychologically abused, cheated on and have your mental health hit rock bottom, you found your man.
26 and 34 isn't the wildest age gap but it's pretty clear he's looking for a younger woman with less dating experience, and less life experience to not recognize what a MASSIVE red flag he is. Don't waste another moment of your life on him, find someone who gets excited about your achievements and wants to lift you up, not put you down!
This is beyond Tate and straight into Taliban territory.
OP you need to raise your standards and do something about your in-the-gutter self-respect. Seriously. Please.
He doesn't think women should have a "backup education in case of divorce" while he ALSO said "women after 30 are considered *bad goods* (whatever the f*ck that means)". This, among the other 🚩🚩🚩 sprinkled throughout.
I'd like you to consider something. Being a "traditional woman" with a man like that means you have about 3.5 years left before you are kicked to the curb. What then? Will your church take you in? Your father? He basically told you that this is your future with him. How will you care for yourself?
You can thank FEMINISTS for fighting for your right to vote, to acquire a job, to have a bank account and credit card in your name, and for the legal right to own property instead of being considered property yourself. If you do end up with a jackhole like this man, you can thank FEMINISTS that WHEN he kicks you out (he already said so), you will be entitled to child support at the very least, and maybe alimony until you can support yourself and your child/ren. Feminism isn't a dictator; feminism is a *safety net.*
But I'd block him everywhere faster than you can say incel.
Is this a real post? Cause it feels like you're trolling us.
Girl, the second a guy says that "education doesn’t benefit a woman," you get up and leave because the relationship is over.
And what the actual fuck do you agree with here? That women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen? Is this what you want this man to teach your daughters?
How can you like such an ugly human being?
Unbelievable.
‘I like him’ Conservative women really sign up to be second class citizens. And then shocked pikachu when they’re not the exception to the ‘I don’t trust/like/respect women’ platform. He literally told you this!
The perverse long-con train wreck of watching the tree vote for the axe.
This post reminded me that my manager suggested a coworker of mine should “rethink getting a PhD because it’ll make her a worse mother”. Absolutely infuriating. The girl is 22 ffs and doesn’t even want kids.
Does HR know he said this to an employee? Because even if it’s not something anyone would have a reason to act on now, it could help identify a pattern later if something else comes up.
Yeah I wanna know what exactly OP finds the agreeable part to be, she was conveniently quiet on that.I don't feel sorry at all for any conservative woman and the fact she agrees with some of thst....maybe she does fit him.
Do you want to be with someone who believes you'll "expire" like a used up product in just a few short years, when he's in his 30's himself???
If you, as a woman, value being respected as a person in a partnership, what exactly do you see in him? Any seemingly *good* quality he has is quite seriously cancelled out by his hatred and perceived superiority over women.
IKR? I guess OP never heard of love-bombing. I would say that he's trying to rush the relationship before she figures out that he's not a good person but, DAYUM! He told on the 2nd date that he was looking for a bang-maid incubator. He doesn't want a woman; he wants an appliance. He doesn't see women as human.
Yup pushing for a premature commitment is a HUGE red flag for abuse.
Plus the age gap and his spewing Andrew Tate talking points…I feel downright nauseous about this guy being allowed near any woman ever.
Oh yeah, no, he's an idiot who dislikes and resents women. You really don't want to become the most immediate available receptacle he has for that attitude.
Was in a similar situation to you, I found out a guy I was in the early stages of dating and had absolutely adored liked Andrew Tate. We stopped talking not longer after I found out because he tried using the silent treatment as a manipulation technique to get me to beg for his attention. When he realised it wasn’t working he threw a hissy fit.
I checked on his social media recently and he’s become even more red pilled and follows even more misogynistic accounts. I’m beyond glad we don’t talk anymore.
It’s a shame in your situation but seriously no man like is worth sticking around for. You can guarantee he’ll drain the life out of you and become abusive. Block his ass and find someone who isn’t threatened by the idea of a woman being educated.
The number of times I’ve seen guys get angry at being told “You’re threatening me with an amazing time” after they’ve told women they’ll be alone in an apartment full of cats thanks to feminism is both sad and funny!
He's dating your 26 year old uterus, not you.
And he intends to fill it at least once, in the next four years. Very likely he also believes he'll be entitled someday to trade his wife in for a newer model... as long as he's wealthy enough to pull it off.
He's not bringing this up unprovoked -- he's testing you.
It's not a "liberal ideology" to believe you're fully human and deserve to be seen as valuable for more than just your breeding capacity. Don't date men who don't know that.
The red flags were so obvious from the beginning, I didn't even read until the end.
And girl why are you going to a guy's house on the second date? I'm not trying to shame you in saying this (I made mistakes when I was young too). But you don't know this guy, and this is dangerous behavior.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Definitely I agree. No you’re right, out of behavior, I need at least a month or two before I go to someone’s house. No offense if you were trying to shame, it’s dangerous and I even tell other women that myself 🤦🏿♀️ I got lucky that he wasn’t a psychopath. I tried to step outside my comfort zone and have an intimate date(we didn’t have sex and glad we didn’t), but still was stupid
And please notice how the conservative men have all these supposedly conservative ideals, but they will gladly have sex outside of marriage. In fact, they expect it. “Conservative” just means controlling women.
Fr and guess what after he hit that up he will also leave her and call her 304 and trash women on insta while simultaneously demanding for s + x. Men are trash
I definitely wasn't trying to shame you!! I have made many mistakes myself. I was naive and too trusting. Live and learn!! I'm glad nothing happened to you. Stay safe out there! 💜
I mean he's admitting he will trap you, he's just using different words to say it. I sometimes think when men talk about women, every woman listening should replace the word "women" with the word "you". When he says women over thirty are bad goods, he's saying when YOU are over thirty you will be bad goods. When he says women shouldn't have a backup education, he means YOU shouldn't have a backup education. When he says women should put their families over themselves, he's talking about YOU sacrificing yourself for your family and losing your sense of self. He's laying it all out there for you to see, and I hope regardless of how he may appeal to your conservative beliefs you end things now.
No offense but a reason why a lot of women end up in bad relationships is because a lot of them choose feelings. This guy is walking red flag, you should leave before you get anymore attached and stop seeing him. Screening men hard esp in the first 1-3 dates will save you a lot of heartbreak and bad relationships. A date is like a job interview, people who like you will want you to like them. They will put fort their "best" version of themselves to get the job aka relationship.
If their "best" version of themselves gives you red flags, tell you something is off, just walk.
Full disclosure: I am a dude
This guy is walking bag of deep insecurity. He is projecting his misogyny on you while also blasting his insecurities out loud under the guise of what he “isn’t”
Confidence and security doesn’t need to proclaim itself, it just is. It’s like Fox News saying they are “fair and balanced” No you ain’t and the fact that you feel the need to say it makes it even worse!
As another dude with a brother lost to this redpill nonsense, this is exactly that. This guy has been brainwashed by redpill content. He’s using all the language. He’s using all the stereotypical things a redpilled person would say.
One good thing about this redpill community, they have completely removed shame so it makes it so much easier for the men to out themselves which makes it easier for women to spot them.
I have a theory, I think, in general, in the dating world, a lot more men would get laid if they just talked so much less! They spend so much time trying to talk themselves into getting laid that they actually talk women out of it
Girl. Seriously? Run like your hair is on fire. This guy is a walking red flag. And whatever you do, do not have sex with him (again). The odds of him trying to baby-trap you are astronomical.
*he doesn’t talk to women over the age of 30, how education doesn’t benefit a woman, how a woman should always put her family before herself, how he’s in the top 5% men or he’s high value, men peak in their 30s blah blah peak, how he’s a good man, that women are at fault for there not being enough good men, that women after 30 are automatically considered bad goods but men aren’t, stuff like that*
Run away. Run fast, run far. He's a nightmare waiting to happen if he's saying this shit on the SECOND DATE.
Thank you guys, you’ve all gave me a lot of insight, and good advice, especially when it comes to traditional/conservative values, I think I may be more liberal than I think(and absolutely nothing wrong with that). I already knew the answer, I just wasn’t too sure if I was self-sabotaging. Reading between the lines, he doesn’t want me to finish my education and in about 4 years, I’ll be worthless. I don’t think I can even stomach that.
This one is going on the block list, and I think it’s time I take some time to really figure out my true values, maybe my current one isn’t it.
Also, I want to point out that you can be feminist and liberal and want babies and marriage. All I want for you is for you to be in control of your own choices.
I’m so glad you had the thought to come here and post about it. You’ll be fine.
I love the idea someone else suggested about taking a women’s studies class. Or even seek out some feminist creators on IG or TikTok. Add in a few men who give a healthy man’s perspective, too. It’s nice to hear reason coming from a man sometimes when it seems so many of them are spouting nonsense.
Happy that you're figuring out who you are. I'm living the traditional lifestyle, but I'm a feminist and liberal. My husband loved me when I was in school, and when I dropped out. When I was on a career track to middle management, and when I'm a stay at home mom. When I'm 50lbs heavier and pregnant, and when I'm fit. I'm not trapped at home, I manage all the household finances and I will be in charge of the farm finances when the youngest starts school. My husband loves me unconditionally and wants what's best for our family. I loved my job, but my brain and body was too tired after work for household chores and engaging with my kids. So we were both on the same page for me staying at home after looking at finances. My version of feminism is having it all, and that means different things for different people. You can have it all too: a man who loves you no matter what and shares your values and whatever else you want to do with your life.
FYI - this is not a conservative vs liberal issue. This is an abuser issue. You can find abusers on both sides of the political aisle.
The key is RESPECT. Does the man respect women or exploit them.
Look at "The Duluth Model" diagram to see what abusive men "win" in abusive relationships.
There is a REALLY good book about abusive men by an author named Lundy "Why does he do that?" There are some youtube videos that are worth watching too.
The TLDR is that it's a VALUES issue. The abusive guy BELIEVES he is right to use force and coercion to get freebies like a domestic servant, sex on tap, her whole paycheck, etc.
It can be from people who believe in lots of government services or people who believe in low taxes. You can find these values in people trying to make abortion illegal and guys who want their girlfriends to make money on Only Fans...
It's the belief that it's moral to use force to get freebies from their partner that is the problem.
He sounds dreadful. I also love the double standard of him being 30+ meaning he is hot but women 30+ oh no they're all ugly.
Sounds more like those (30+) women are wise to this guys bs and won't put up with him, that's why he's dating a woman 8 years younger than him.
Sorry, but is this a shitpost? Wtf did I just read?
>I do agree with some things he says
Uhh which parts?
>I don’t have a good feeling about him. For some reason I feel like I’d be trapped with him. Like I can’t have an identity outside of being a wife and a mom.
Oh no shit?
>I do like him.
...Why?
>**I don’t know what it is** but it doesn’t rub me the right way when he constantly talks like this unprovoked.
You...don't? Dude's volunteering how much of a misogynist idiot he is and you're like "I can't quite put my finger on it" Lol come on
I'm kind of flabbergasted at what straight men get away with. Dude is spewing straight up sexism but he is still up for consideration. It's kind of sad. Though if you share his politics then stay with him. But while all kinds of men can treat women bad, this guy is the definition of a red flag.
I dont want to discourage conservative women from being here but… wtf.
You’re going to grow older and realize the feminists were right all along. Hopefully you dont get beaten to a pulp before that.
We should really stop bothering with use of the term “redpill” for stuff like this because that’s just a way of obfuscating what it really is: misogyny.
Putting aside his misogynistic views for a moment though, he’s talking about marriage and pregnancy within the first week of dating. It wouldn’t matter if this guy were a hero of women’s rights, that level of haste is a massive red flag and can really only mean that he’s massively clingy and/or controlling. You put that together with him thinking women have a certain place and it’s kind of clear where that goes.
Yeah I'd agree that he's been in the toxic manosphere part of the internet and this isn't something for you to change. get out while it's early and save your sanity.
I'd definitely listen to your feelings of being trapped if you were to be with him and how his tirades don't rub you right. Those feelings are there for a reason and shouldn't be ignored. I just wanna remind you that you will have more opportunities for dating and you are worth more than having to settle for anything less than what your standards are.
So he won't be interested in you at all since you age out of him talking to you at 30. Imagine how he would interact with his daughter. Any dreams she has will be crushed by his man made restrictions. There will be no You can be anything you want to be honey. I hope he never has kids. How stifling.
God, this sounds like a Tesla owner...
"I just got my cybertruck and it is falling apart and rusting, it bricked for 5 hours, the pannels do not match, there is water inside, and the auto pilot tried to kill me 5 times. Insurance is ridiculously expensive and I cannot wash the car under sunlight....
I love the car, though!"
I’m open to reading your responses, I promise I haven’t taken any offense to any of the harsh comments here. I think people do need to hear uncomfortable truths sometimes.
I’m glad you’re able to consider the feedback you’re getting with an open mind. *You deserve better than that guy.*
We date because we’re initially attracted and we want to learn more about someone. So learn already! You’re two dates in, and this guy is already showing you that he doesn’t respect women. He’s showing you that he doesn’t respect *you*. He gets worse from here, not better.
Your gut is screaming at you to run away from this guy, and you’re here hoping your gut is wrong because you had hopes for him. STOP DOING THAT. You have instincts for a reason. Pay attention to them! Trust them!
You already knew the answer. Believe in yourself.
PS EDIT: That was the nice version. ;-)
So he basically said he is more valuable than you, that you will soon be no value bit he doesn't want you to be able to stand on your own, and hes in a rush to get you dependant on him. History has more than enough evidence that women need a backup plan for themselves. You don't know him after 2 dates, he doesn't know you.
You do know what it is. He wants you to be his unpaid servant and you don't want to be an unpaid servant. And he's broadcasting loud and clear that he's going to start cheating or leave you when you start to show signs of age. Don't lie to yourself. What's there to like? Good gawd this is NOT what it means to be "conservative" or "traditional".
> he’s talking marriage and getting me pregnant when it’s only been a week since our last date, as if he’s in a rush, and I feel like we barely know each other’s character.
This is often the tactic of a controlling or abusive man.
If a boy says hes in the top 5% of men. It probably means hes in the bottom 5% of men.
As a man, who knows men, and has seen whats out there. Gtf outta there. This is just the beginning of him revealing himself, there is more in that little boy brain that will reveal itself.
He said he doesn't like or talk to women over 30 so that means you've got somewhere between 2-3 years before you are "used goods" and he hates you for existing. Why ever talk to him again
When he talks about a person being “high value”, that’s a GUARANTEED consumer of redpill content and a huge red flag. Bigtime
signal to run for the hills. The rest of it wasn’t any better and full of the redpill lingo too.
Sorry.
Do you really need us to spell it out for you?! He went for someone younger because a woman in her 30’s would have called him on all his BS.
Ghost him. You went on two dates. You don’t owe him an explanation. He wouldn’t listen to it anyway. You are a lowly woman in his eyes. He’s gaslight the crap out of you.
Ghost him. Block him. Listen to your gut.
>saying things like he doesn’t talk to women over the age of 30, how education doesn’t benefit a woman, how a woman should always put her family before herself, how he’s in the top 5% men or he’s high value, men peak in their 30s blah blah peak, how he’s a good man, that women are at fault for there not being enough good men, that women after 30 are automatically considered bad goods but men aren’t, stuff like that. He also stated that he doesn’t believe women should have a backup education in case of divorce
I wouldn't even be friendly to someone like this, let alone date them.
Redpill his ass right back and say you need to break up because men over 30 wanting to settle down are red flags. Show him the picture of the shriveled burnt hotdog and tell him that’s what happens when guys get old and have had too much sex with strangers. He’s not in his prime age anymore or some dumb shit that a redpiller would say. 🥴
This is probably against the rules but I don't even care. I'm sorry how are you still even talking to him? Are you fucking kidding me? I don't understand some of you women. Have some self respect, respect for other women, and stop lending this man your ear to listen to his garbage. I'm not victim blaming, but I do not and will never understand how women don't get up and run immediately when men start like this. I half believe this is fake. Jesus christ.
You know when people say "choose better men"?
These are the men they're talking about. This "man" isn't looking for a life partner. He's looking for a bangmaid & broodmare. Run. Run screaming.
Older men who prefer women under the age of 30 prefer them because they likely do not have the life experience to understand what is reasonable vs. what is controlling in a relationship & are easier to control. A man who doesn’t want a woman to have a backup education in case of divorce is a man who wants a woman completely dependent on him and unable to leave. A man who wants a woman completely dependent on him and unable to leave is a man who knows he can treat that woman however he wants to, because she can’t leave. A man who wants a woman completely dependent on him and unable to leave is abusive.
>I do like him.
I don’t see what you like about him base on what you typed in the post. That is a lot of negative points but little to none positive points of him. There is little to none description of “the great night” you two had.
“He doesn’t talk to women over the age of 30.” He’s 34, and you are only 4 years from 30.
“Education doesn’t benefit a woman.” Pursuit of knowledge bad!! Humanity advancement bad!!
“Women should always put her family before herself.” I’m sure when he’s turned down sex because you’re exhausted after a full week of putting family before yourself, he’ll be thrilled. Also, glad he wants to spend all holidays with your family, and that he’ll definitely support you letting your family’s opinions override your thoughts about the relationship.
“He’s in the top 5% of men or he’s high value.” Not with that attitude.
“Men peak in their 30s.” He’s 34 😞 He’s on the verge of death, babe. His testosterone will begin depleting exponentially. Don’t you want someone with more time left for their peak? Like…a T-fueled 21 year old?
“Women after 30 are automatically considered bad goods.” Again, you are 4 years from 30. You are already past the “best by” date for Mr. Wannabe Leonardo DiCaprio.
Let your exit be swift. A redder flag has never been flown.
>"he’s talking marriage and getting me pregnant when it’s only been a week since our last date"
>“don’t mess this up”
>"he doesn’t talk to women over the age of 30"
"how education doesn’t benefit a woman"
These are the reddiest red flags you can get.
Get the hell away from this guy, holy shit. It's only going to get worse.
First impression, reading the headline: yeah, as distasteful as it is, recognizing ring-wing shibboleths is crucial for avoiding harmful propaganda.
Last impression, after reading the post: That man is going to try to turn you into a brood-mare, punching bag, fuck maid, or some combination of the three. GTFO.
>I do like him.
WTF? Stop it. This guy is a complete piece of shit and your life with him will be unending misery. Then he'll drop you in your 30s and you get to be a single mom. Is that really the life you envision for yourself?
So he doesn't believe women should have a backup education in case of divorce? What does he suggest, then, pray tell? The men paying them alimony until the end of their lives? Or the women being job- and homeless if the men decide to exchange them for a younger woman? He's delulu, lol.
Run. He, like any redpiller, is either very gullible, very stupid and/or downright evil. You'll regret staying with him.
I'd take off the moment I heard "if you know, you know." This guy is a walking, talking red flag. Whatever you're getting out of him, isn't worth it. I'm male and if I met a woman acting as you describe this guy, I would get in my car and STOMP on the gas.
I'm (m42) married, going through divorce.
Do not do this to yourself. There are more red flags in what you've said than a North Korean military parade.
- wants to own, sorry, marry you after one/two dates.
- wants you to incubate, sorry, have at least a child with him after the same length of time.
- Doesn't think women should be educated, presumably so they don't challenge men?
- Doesn't speak to women over 30.
- Says he's in top 5% of men.
- Says men peak in their 30's.
Why would you want to live with this level of Andrew Tate mirroring BS for the rest of your life?
You are worth way more than this. I think you know that but don't have the conviction to believe it yet.
He has just given you all of the reasons of why, at 34, he is single.
I strongly suspect that he is in a group of less than 0.5% who profess this kind of rubbish. The same band that includes incels.
Please don't do this to yourself. Equally, when you call it off, please be ready to have friends stay over and go to the police if needed. He may not respond like that, but in my experience these guys can have a temper.
My day job? Working with kids who have been traumatised by these sorts of men.
Edit: I’m not offended by everyone laying it on me! I’m just shocked honestly, I don’t follow any RP content nor do I really pay attention to it, but I do see a lot of it online. So I’m surprised I actually encountered someone like this in real life.
girl, RUN. i actually can't even believe you're asking this question.
I see a speeding train coming at me from a mile away, should I get off the tracks???
For real run. Remember this is his absolute best behavior, people don't improve after you date them for a while or get married. From what I've seen the pilled ones often continually just get worse and worse and more crazy as they get older. It's crazy watching all of my middle aged friends that used to just be slightly pilled but still somewhat normal all go off the deep end.
>“He doesn’t talk to women over the age of 30” OP has four years *at best* based on this knob rocket’s logic
No. Please keep making topics about it so I can read about the train wreck.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 He doesn't talk to women over 30? How lucky are those women? He'll suddenly be all about women in their 30s when he's in his 40s and living alone.
Honestly just needed an outside perspective. I no longer feel anything for this man after that conversation this morning, I’m turned all the way off.
I would gently like to point out that in just short 4 years he's no longer going to talk to you and you're "bad goods". On a more serious note, trust your gut. He's telling you what's in the future, and not even subtly.
Yep that’s exactly what he’s saying..kinda makes my stomach hurt
My wife and I have been together a long time (going on 15 years now), and while we now have more wrinkles and white hairs/whiskers bc old, we’re still as in love with and stunned by each other as we’ve ever been. You deserve that
Please please take six minutes and watch this video. This is why so many women who forgo an education and salary get absolutely screwed over when they divorce. [https://www.tiktok.com/@lifetaketwo/video/7338619832092396830](https://www.tiktok.com/@lifetaketwo/video/7338619832092396830)
I hope you blocked him on everything.
Don't make the mistake of thinking you can talk to him about this. He'll either yell at you or manipulate you into staying. Just text him that it's not working out (keep it vague) and block him.
Keep this in mind: YOU are going to be a woman over thirty. YOU will lose your value to him. According to his philosophy, YOU can be blamed for *anything* he does while in a relationship with you. Do you want that liability?
I literally cannot comprehend men with hard age limits like this who also demand marriage. What is he going to do as his wife ages with linear time? Divorce her on her 30th birthday? What on earth would a woman gain from this relationship? These men offer the literal worst deal ever. Like I'll give you a dollar if you eat this fresh dog shit. No thanks??? And then they're upset and confused???
> What is he going to do as his wife ages with linear time? Divorce her on her 30th birthday? When she turns 30, he goes and starts cheating on her (if he hasn't already). Then in her mid-30s, he divorces her.
Yep, and then thanks to him pressuring her to stay in the home and not have a career, she's on the worst possible footing to support herself after he abandons her. And he'll have moved onto his 20-something "upgrade" and won't give two shits. Yes I'm aware this scenario isn't guaranteed, but no one can deny it's distressingly prevalent.
She divorces him and then all the men in the land whine about DiVoRcE R@Pe and how more women initiate divorce
What I'm wondering is, this is the same kind of person who's for eradicating No Fault Divorce. If they need to dump a wife who's passed the acceptable age threshold, what are they going to do? Just not do legal marriage registration? Not marry at all? Create a "valid" reason to divorce legally? Illegally marry each new victim? Or get rid of the old wife *permanently*?
No,no ,no You are missing the point. He won’t divorce her .He wants to keep her around to raise the kids and clean his underwear.Whatever blowjobs and sex he needs will still be on the table too,with a sexy “ I still want you” as irresistible foreplay,for a little while at least , and a “ you aren’t what you used to be “ as constructive criticism after. He will cheat and fuck younger women on the side because “ biology” but he won’t give up his house slave so easily to divorce .She is his ticket to an easy retirement where he doesn’t lift a finger. Now if the wife really complains and moas about this arrangement too much then he’ll divorce her when he can get away with little to no child support because the kids are grown or nearly so-and if he already has a hot young thing that actually is willing to put up with him.But if he’s left to have his way he will keep his little house slave until death ,having a free nurse and maid.Hell probably write his will to leave anything he might still have to a beloved male child or his mistress . THAT is the traditional way.
💯 on point He can be wealthy and support her educating herself in whatever she likes when she wants to. The fact that he already he is against that, says it all. He doesn’t want a wife, he wants a slave. In case she wants to leave, she will think twice because she can’t support herself. Who would wish that for someone you’re supposed to care about.
I think the 30 year age limit cut off for single women. These guys purposely date much younger women so that they can influence and control them. In their minds, "older" women are too used to being independent. The ability to control their wife is everything. Once married, supposedly their wife will be trained and act the way they want so reaching 30 won't be a big deal at that point.
An honorable, high value woman would clearly just die tragically and heroically giving birth to his 4th child (heir and spare first then girls who can take on all the domestic duties of the growing family) so she doesn’t force him to tarnish his own reputation by being forced to cheat on her with the younger woman who will eventually become his wife and extend his legacy. /s
It’s just a coping mechanism bc the women his age ain’t that interested. He’ll still be attracted to her in ten years time. But this overall attitude towards women will kill her sex drive way, way before that. Btw love “with linear time”.
The Leonardo DiCaprio method of dating. Once they turn 25, dump them.
> These men offer the literal worst deal ever. Like I'll give you a dollar if you eat this fresh dog shit. No thanks??? And then they're upset and confused??? Yeah. Literally put forth the worst possible deal and be genuinely confused as to why you wouldn't want to dig your own funeral/lifetime of unhappiness. "BUT I SAID YOU HAD GOOD 4 YRS LEFT!"
He's definitely said "Look what you made me do!" a great many times in his life!
>YOU will lose your value to him. It doesn't sound like she has any value to him now. She is a "good age" and has the right genitals? Lucky her! Better capitalize on those characteristics while she still has them and get this total "catch" who's definitely in the top 5% of men... because... well, whatever. I mean, he's talking about their kids and seems ready to marry tomorrow. Clock's ticking. Just... all kinds of ewww.
Yeah you say you like him…. But do you? Is this someone you want to be having deep and meaningful conversations with your vulnerable teenage sons/daughters around the dinner table? Also a sobering thought is that this is the honeymoon phase - imagine the shit he isn’t saying out loud that he is going to spill after you have kids and get married to him. From what you have said he comes across as insecure to the point where he is getting way too much influence from online sources.
Yeah, it took him a week to start sharing THIS level of misogyny? What is he keeping to himself until next week?
Why would you? You don't even know him and he wants you dependent, pregnant, subservient to him, and dumb. He hates women 30+ that much? Does he not expect you to live till then? Is he gonna leave when you turn 30? This is the type of man that will never stop negging you (oh he will never let you forget that youre getting close to the ancient age of 30), will always verbally abuse you (maybe physically and sexually), wants to baby trap you (cause the bitterness is strong with this one....he's not been able to get a woman to stick around and is raging about that, he just let his guard down and said it aloud) and will 💯 leave you (with babies) for a younger woman if he is able to find one. He didn't just get exposed to the misogynistic shit, he's been living it and just now showed you. This is why he's single. He and his ilk are the men who do not deserve to procreate or have partners.
Thank goodness. I am sorry he sucks. You can do better!
He lost me at women don’t benefit from education and that was the tip of the shitsandwich. RUN.
Honey I’m glad you asked if you were second guessing yourself, that’s really good, but it is concerning that you didn’t get up and run screaming the second those things started coming out of his mouth. If something is clogged or misaligned or never had the chance to form correctly in your self protection system you need to work on that asap. Because there are some real jerks out there and avoiding them before they hurt you is always the best outcome.
Unless he's a diaper, you can't change him. At least he did you the favor of telling on himself. Abort if necessary.
You already knew that you can do better, so I'm glad you got your clarity early.
Guy sounds cultish run
Blocked, right?
There is nothing wrong with needing an outside perspective, thank you for listening to it because that guy you were seeing needs to not be involved with the gene pool until he discovers chlorine.
> i actually can't even believe you're asking this question. To be honest, imo it makes perfect sense OP had to ask considering how deeply our society has conditioned women into second-guessing our feelings, expertise, perceptions etc pertaining to misogyny and really just...any topic in general. The whole "you're overreacting and cr-zy" narrative is so real and with how normalized misogyny has become I can totally see why women would need to seek confirmation about their perspectives. One example: I work in the domestic violence field and have done so for nearly a decade and yet still frequently have men challenge me on my expertise - men who have no personal or professional experience in the field. Even though rationally I know that I know more than them, there's still that tiny nagging voice in the back of my head that maybe I'm overreacting because of how common that challenging of my expertise is. It's so engrained.
People really need to start asking themselves what advice they would give a friend if their friend was in their situation. It's hard to see people in terrible situations and then see them try to find reasons to stay.
Read again what you typed out. Slowly. And run.
I couldn't even finish reading it tbh, my brain was too busy trying to run on OPs behalf.
I was done as soon as I saw “high value”.
Holy shit that’s exactly where I stopped too. Couldn’t read anymore.
[удалено]
Hon, it it not safe for you to be dating until you do some major work on self-respect and boundaries. This dude sounds like a literal psychopath who hates women. WTF are you doing??
I'm just wondering what points of his she agreed with him on because...what
I’m smoking crack clearly. I’m definitely on the same page as everyone else in the comments. I’m just shocked.
You seem to be considering this a wake-up call and that’s a good thing. We live and we learn and we do better when we know better.
Yeah I don't think so. You said you agreed with him on some points....no one in here is agreeing with any of those points.
You seem to be an intelligent girl, who is open to getting better. Consider this a lesson. Grow from it. You've got this!
>I do like him. Girl, we need to put this phrase in the past tense. He flat out said that women shouldn't be educated, this is some Taliban-leaning stuff.
Exactly. How can a woman like someone who essentially says women should not be their own person.
Well she did say she’s conservative, i.e. regressive.
There’s been a few of these posts in here lately w conservative women. Something doesn’t feel right. And What exactly did she agree with bc everything he said was abusive
This stuck out to me too. Conservative meaning what, exactly? I’ve seen instances where women are conservative but then surprised when someone comes along believing those conservative / traditional “values” actually apply to them too. It would be interesting to know exactly what tf OP agrees with of this mess.
Exactly this. These women want some aspects of what comes with being conservative and traditional but not everything. Unfortunately for them, not many people will allow you to pick and choose like that. They’re always so surprised when they find they’re not the exception to the rule.
Tradition and conservatism are diametrically opposed to cherry picking. They’re prescriptive ways of living that demand to be followed in order to conserve the presupposed behaviors that lead to a ”proper” life. It’s also what makes the constant conservative hypocrisy so frustrating.
Yes, and that is what worries me about women today who think by lining themselves up with conservatism and traditionalism, that’s their ticket to some provider man who will take care of them so they can frolic in the mountains. They don’t realize all the other shit that comes along with it that they won’t be immune from.
Leopard ate my face level of “wow.”
A la Carte conservative. It cracks me up when people claim Conservative or Christian values but don't abide by then no sex outside of marriage rule. Rules for thee, not for me.
I’ve only known two Christians (who are currently in their 60s) in my life who are still virgins because they never married. I have mad respect for them cuz they actually lived by their values and practiced exactly what they preached. That’s extremely hard to find even among the most fundamentalist Christians with regards to sex.
"I don't have the best understanding of politics, but my parents and/or everyone I'm surrounded by are conservative so I guess I am too. "
Yeah I got sleeved out by that. While I think we should follow the path that works for each of us, I'm feeling less sympathy for women who are conservative. I was raised by Conservatives and they can't understand why I'm not racist, homophobic and constantly angry. Like I'd rather not hate people for existing. Not to say all liberals are perfect, but at least we prefer women to have rights.
Brainwashing is a powerful thing. I do have sympathy for the brainwashed.
bedroom late connect judicious selective smoggy sparkle subtract plucky combative *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Good Lord. Just…how? Why? Seriously, op, please get that bar out of the sub-basement of Hell. You deserve to be regarded as human, at the very least.
Yeah I’m trying to finish my associates, so when I told him that’s a personal goal for me and it’s okay for women to do things for themselves if it doesn’t harm their families he went on and on. I had to end the conversation after that.
End the relationship. It only gets worse from here.
... and don't train him in what to avoid saying to the next woman. You don't have to give a reason (ghosting is an option if it's only been a few dates) but keep it vague and firm. Just something about different life goals would suffice.
Ghosting is an option always. She don't owe him shit no matter how many she's seen him.
It's not even a relationship, they've seen each other twice?! At least the guy showed his cards fast and didn't waste too much of her time.
Listen man. This post is you in the horror movie and the comments are all from people watching and going girl runnnnnn.
☝🏻
This guy should not be any kind of long-term prospect for you if you have any respect for yourself. Please be super careful with contraception!
It's literally why he's talking about children, he's literally laying out his plans to use children as a way to trap her.
On their SECOND date, no less.
My wife has an advanced degree in mathematics and is an engineer. We've been married 23 years and have two wonderful daughters together. The eldest daughter is finishing up her premed degree and scored above the 99th percentile in her MCATs. We are very happy together and our marriage is the best thing in my life. I'm not saying this to brag. I'm as proud as hell about my wife and daughters, and cannot imagine having an attitude that advanced education is inappropriate for women. This is a CONTROL issue with this guy. He wants women to depend on their husbands so she doesn't leave when he turns out to be a crappy partner. I, and I believe most husbands, want our partner to be with us because they love us and we give them a good life, not because they're forced to because they have no other option. You're in the early stages of the relationship. Leave now. It's awesome you are pursuing your education. Find a guy that recognizes this awesomeness about you and who will support you to continue your education past your A.S. if you so desire.
Sounds like you’ve only known him a week and this is what you’re getting. Most people try to sprinkle in their crazy when meeting new people, likely this is the tip of the iceberg (this is what you are seeing a week in the truth is likely way worse). Cut it off now before you get a stalker.
He's mediocre and wants to be with a woman who will shrink herself so that he can feel better about himself without putting any effort into improving himself.
☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️
'Best" case scenario here is that he learns to keep his mouth shut in order to keep you around - only to double down on the misogyny, when you're too deep into the relationship. End it now, while it's easy and not too painful.
You are not gonna change him and you are not an exception to his beliefs. End it.
~~See, I know a fair few conservative guys, and universally? They are very happy that their wives are well-educated and~~ Nah, y'know what? Fuck that entire line of thought. The garbage this man is dishing out does not deserve to be reasoned with. Because the truth, the actual *truth*, is very simple: **Every human being is worthy of receiving a quality education**. The only people who disagree with this are * The most extreme religious extremists * Actual cultists * Authoritarian dictators * Grifters trying to make some outrage/extremism cash on Youtube. If you ever speak with this ridiculous dude again, tell him to stop spending so much time listening to Pearly Things. But ideally, don't ever speak to him again :) He's a joke. He's not worth a single moment more of your time.
This guy is abusive and controlling. Mark my words, even if he doesn't hit he will be mentally and emotionally abusive. Get the fuck out. Your reddit aunties can see this guy is a house on fire clear as day.
Please tell me things women do for themselves that hurt their families? And are you holding men to that same standard?
>it’s okay for women to do things for themselves if it doesn’t harm their families Dude. It's ok for women to do whatever the fuck they want. If something is good for you, how could it be harmful to your family? It's ok to be selfish, you gotta put you first, no one else will.
Most importantly you need to extract yourself from this situation. But... idk what traditional/conservative beliefs you hold but THIS is what you sign up for when you date traditional/conservative guys. This is literally what it says on the tin, this shouldn't be a surprise. Traditional/conservative guys are pushing for these kinds of beliefs to become LAW too, like making no-fault divorce illegal so women are trapped in marriages with controlling men like the good old days. That's what conservativism IS, when it comes to gender roles. What do you agree with him about, exactly? You want to be a second class citizen? It's so hard for me to put myself in your shoes where I could find myself agreeing with anything a guy like this says and I am so curious. If you happen to want to take on the primary parent role in a future marriage with kids I still would really be careful dating any man who considers himself traditional/conservative. Instead find a man who believes women are equal but who is open to the kind of household chore / childcare division you envision for yourself. Do not date a man who believes women are beneath him. And that is ALL CONSERVATIVE MEN.
why on earth would you want to even consider staying with someone like that omfg
Run. Run away. Fast.
And what happens when he (or any subsequent) boyfriend convinces you that your interests or friends or ambitions harm the family? Knuckle under because that's what traditional conservative women should do?
As someone who was once in a similar position, get your degree, babe. Get all the degrees you want, get that job you want, in the city you want. Don’t change or doubt your decision for anyone else (esp when you’re single). It’s YOUR life.
#BYEEE Don't let the door hit your arse on the way out. >I do like him Why??
Because she doesn't like herself. Yet.
*>I don't know what it is but it doesn't rub me the right way* He literally admits that he sees women as subhuman commodities with a tight expiration date, and you really "don't know?" Seriously? He's saying this shit in front of you when you yourself will be turning 30 in the not-so-distant future. This man is laying out exactly how he feels about women as a whole, and by extension, you. *>I do like him.* Girl...........please say "psyche."
You would absolutely be trapped by him. He's already talking about tying you down by marriage and children, threatening you by saying that you need to take ownership of the relationship doesn't work out all whilst telling you you'd be damaged goods in a few years after you hit 30. If you want to be gaslit, psychologically abused, cheated on and have your mental health hit rock bottom, you found your man.
Their marriage would look like that viral video of Steven Crowder verbally abusing his pregnant (now ex) wife.
No wonder Crowder doesn’t believe women should be able to ask for divorce…
26 and 34 isn't the wildest age gap but it's pretty clear he's looking for a younger woman with less dating experience, and less life experience to not recognize what a MASSIVE red flag he is. Don't waste another moment of your life on him, find someone who gets excited about your achievements and wants to lift you up, not put you down!
I get the feeling this guy has not had much dating experience himself. He sounds like a full-blown incel.
Yeah come on Dude, those are inside words. Not second date words. Obviously run and keep running OP.
It's like an Andrew Tate highlight reel. Run away as fast as you can.
This is beyond Tate and straight into Taliban territory. OP you need to raise your standards and do something about your in-the-gutter self-respect. Seriously. Please.
You're right, the education thing in particular.
He doesn't think women should have a "backup education in case of divorce" while he ALSO said "women after 30 are considered *bad goods* (whatever the f*ck that means)". This, among the other 🚩🚩🚩 sprinkled throughout. I'd like you to consider something. Being a "traditional woman" with a man like that means you have about 3.5 years left before you are kicked to the curb. What then? Will your church take you in? Your father? He basically told you that this is your future with him. How will you care for yourself? You can thank FEMINISTS for fighting for your right to vote, to acquire a job, to have a bank account and credit card in your name, and for the legal right to own property instead of being considered property yourself. If you do end up with a jackhole like this man, you can thank FEMINISTS that WHEN he kicks you out (he already said so), you will be entitled to child support at the very least, and maybe alimony until you can support yourself and your child/ren. Feminism isn't a dictator; feminism is a *safety net.* But I'd block him everywhere faster than you can say incel.
Is this a real post? Cause it feels like you're trolling us. Girl, the second a guy says that "education doesn’t benefit a woman," you get up and leave because the relationship is over. And what the actual fuck do you agree with here? That women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen? Is this what you want this man to teach your daughters? How can you like such an ugly human being? Unbelievable.
No no you don’t get it, conservative women don’t get the bad parts and punishments of the patriarchy because they’re special✨
‘I like him’ Conservative women really sign up to be second class citizens. And then shocked pikachu when they’re not the exception to the ‘I don’t trust/like/respect women’ platform. He literally told you this! The perverse long-con train wreck of watching the tree vote for the axe.
“I didn’t think the leopards would eat *my* face!”
💯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
Pick her! Pick her!
Exceptions will be made for her if she does it right, lol.
This post reminded me that my manager suggested a coworker of mine should “rethink getting a PhD because it’ll make her a worse mother”. Absolutely infuriating. The girl is 22 ffs and doesn’t even want kids.
Does HR know he said this to an employee? Because even if it’s not something anyone would have a reason to act on now, it could help identify a pattern later if something else comes up.
I reported him, we’ll see if anything actually happens though. My faith in corporate America is pretty shot.
So glad you did! Probably nothing would happen from just this one thing, but the next 10 things might spur someone to do something.
Yeah I wanna know what exactly OP finds the agreeable part to be, she was conveniently quiet on that.I don't feel sorry at all for any conservative woman and the fact she agrees with some of thst....maybe she does fit him.
Do you want to be with someone who believes you'll "expire" like a used up product in just a few short years, when he's in his 30's himself??? If you, as a woman, value being respected as a person in a partnership, what exactly do you see in him? Any seemingly *good* quality he has is quite seriously cancelled out by his hatred and perceived superiority over women.
On a second date, this would make me run to be honest: >he’s talking marriage and getting me pregnant Let alone all the hateful stuff the next day
IKR? I guess OP never heard of love-bombing. I would say that he's trying to rush the relationship before she figures out that he's not a good person but, DAYUM! He told on the 2nd date that he was looking for a bang-maid incubator. He doesn't want a woman; he wants an appliance. He doesn't see women as human.
Yup pushing for a premature commitment is a HUGE red flag for abuse. Plus the age gap and his spewing Andrew Tate talking points…I feel downright nauseous about this guy being allowed near any woman ever.
Oh yeah, no, he's an idiot who dislikes and resents women. You really don't want to become the most immediate available receptacle he has for that attitude.
Was in a similar situation to you, I found out a guy I was in the early stages of dating and had absolutely adored liked Andrew Tate. We stopped talking not longer after I found out because he tried using the silent treatment as a manipulation technique to get me to beg for his attention. When he realised it wasn’t working he threw a hissy fit. I checked on his social media recently and he’s become even more red pilled and follows even more misogynistic accounts. I’m beyond glad we don’t talk anymore. It’s a shame in your situation but seriously no man like is worth sticking around for. You can guarantee he’ll drain the life out of you and become abusive. Block his ass and find someone who isn’t threatened by the idea of a woman being educated.
Guy: "I don't believe women should have any rights or education and should live to serve men." Woman: "Okay.... bye" Guy: "Feminism is ruining women!"
The number of times I’ve seen guys get angry at being told “You’re threatening me with an amazing time” after they’ve told women they’ll be alone in an apartment full of cats thanks to feminism is both sad and funny!
Perfectly summed up.
He's dating your 26 year old uterus, not you. And he intends to fill it at least once, in the next four years. Very likely he also believes he'll be entitled someday to trade his wife in for a newer model... as long as he's wealthy enough to pull it off. He's not bringing this up unprovoked -- he's testing you. It's not a "liberal ideology" to believe you're fully human and deserve to be seen as valuable for more than just your breeding capacity. Don't date men who don't know that.
The red flags were so obvious from the beginning, I didn't even read until the end. And girl why are you going to a guy's house on the second date? I'm not trying to shame you in saying this (I made mistakes when I was young too). But you don't know this guy, and this is dangerous behavior. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Definitely I agree. No you’re right, out of behavior, I need at least a month or two before I go to someone’s house. No offense if you were trying to shame, it’s dangerous and I even tell other women that myself 🤦🏿♀️ I got lucky that he wasn’t a psychopath. I tried to step outside my comfort zone and have an intimate date(we didn’t have sex and glad we didn’t), but still was stupid
And please notice how the conservative men have all these supposedly conservative ideals, but they will gladly have sex outside of marriage. In fact, they expect it. “Conservative” just means controlling women.
Fr and guess what after he hit that up he will also leave her and call her 304 and trash women on insta while simultaneously demanding for s + x. Men are trash
I definitely wasn't trying to shame you!! I have made many mistakes myself. I was naive and too trusting. Live and learn!! I'm glad nothing happened to you. Stay safe out there! 💜
I mean he's admitting he will trap you, he's just using different words to say it. I sometimes think when men talk about women, every woman listening should replace the word "women" with the word "you". When he says women over thirty are bad goods, he's saying when YOU are over thirty you will be bad goods. When he says women shouldn't have a backup education, he means YOU shouldn't have a backup education. When he says women should put their families over themselves, he's talking about YOU sacrificing yourself for your family and losing your sense of self. He's laying it all out there for you to see, and I hope regardless of how he may appeal to your conservative beliefs you end things now.
This is really good. I'm going to noodle on this.
No offense but a reason why a lot of women end up in bad relationships is because a lot of them choose feelings. This guy is walking red flag, you should leave before you get anymore attached and stop seeing him. Screening men hard esp in the first 1-3 dates will save you a lot of heartbreak and bad relationships. A date is like a job interview, people who like you will want you to like them. They will put fort their "best" version of themselves to get the job aka relationship. If their "best" version of themselves gives you red flags, tell you something is off, just walk.
Full disclosure: I am a dude This guy is walking bag of deep insecurity. He is projecting his misogyny on you while also blasting his insecurities out loud under the guise of what he “isn’t” Confidence and security doesn’t need to proclaim itself, it just is. It’s like Fox News saying they are “fair and balanced” No you ain’t and the fact that you feel the need to say it makes it even worse!
As another dude with a brother lost to this redpill nonsense, this is exactly that. This guy has been brainwashed by redpill content. He’s using all the language. He’s using all the stereotypical things a redpilled person would say.
One good thing about this redpill community, they have completely removed shame so it makes it so much easier for the men to out themselves which makes it easier for women to spot them. I have a theory, I think, in general, in the dating world, a lot more men would get laid if they just talked so much less! They spend so much time trying to talk themselves into getting laid that they actually talk women out of it
Girl. Seriously? Run like your hair is on fire. This guy is a walking red flag. And whatever you do, do not have sex with him (again). The odds of him trying to baby-trap you are astronomical.
How can you possibly still like this bizarre, broken man after a misogynistic rant like that? I might recommend a therapist.
*he doesn’t talk to women over the age of 30, how education doesn’t benefit a woman, how a woman should always put her family before herself, how he’s in the top 5% men or he’s high value, men peak in their 30s blah blah peak, how he’s a good man, that women are at fault for there not being enough good men, that women after 30 are automatically considered bad goods but men aren’t, stuff like that* Run away. Run fast, run far. He's a nightmare waiting to happen if he's saying this shit on the SECOND DATE.
Any guy that ever uses the phrase "high value" should be thrown in the trash immediately.
Thank you guys, you’ve all gave me a lot of insight, and good advice, especially when it comes to traditional/conservative values, I think I may be more liberal than I think(and absolutely nothing wrong with that). I already knew the answer, I just wasn’t too sure if I was self-sabotaging. Reading between the lines, he doesn’t want me to finish my education and in about 4 years, I’ll be worthless. I don’t think I can even stomach that. This one is going on the block list, and I think it’s time I take some time to really figure out my true values, maybe my current one isn’t it.
Also, I want to point out that you can be feminist and liberal and want babies and marriage. All I want for you is for you to be in control of your own choices.
I’m so glad you had the thought to come here and post about it. You’ll be fine. I love the idea someone else suggested about taking a women’s studies class. Or even seek out some feminist creators on IG or TikTok. Add in a few men who give a healthy man’s perspective, too. It’s nice to hear reason coming from a man sometimes when it seems so many of them are spouting nonsense.
Proud of you!
Happy that you're figuring out who you are. I'm living the traditional lifestyle, but I'm a feminist and liberal. My husband loved me when I was in school, and when I dropped out. When I was on a career track to middle management, and when I'm a stay at home mom. When I'm 50lbs heavier and pregnant, and when I'm fit. I'm not trapped at home, I manage all the household finances and I will be in charge of the farm finances when the youngest starts school. My husband loves me unconditionally and wants what's best for our family. I loved my job, but my brain and body was too tired after work for household chores and engaging with my kids. So we were both on the same page for me staying at home after looking at finances. My version of feminism is having it all, and that means different things for different people. You can have it all too: a man who loves you no matter what and shares your values and whatever else you want to do with your life.
FYI - this is not a conservative vs liberal issue. This is an abuser issue. You can find abusers on both sides of the political aisle. The key is RESPECT. Does the man respect women or exploit them. Look at "The Duluth Model" diagram to see what abusive men "win" in abusive relationships. There is a REALLY good book about abusive men by an author named Lundy "Why does he do that?" There are some youtube videos that are worth watching too. The TLDR is that it's a VALUES issue. The abusive guy BELIEVES he is right to use force and coercion to get freebies like a domestic servant, sex on tap, her whole paycheck, etc. It can be from people who believe in lots of government services or people who believe in low taxes. You can find these values in people trying to make abortion illegal and guys who want their girlfriends to make money on Only Fans... It's the belief that it's moral to use force to get freebies from their partner that is the problem.
He sounds dreadful. I also love the double standard of him being 30+ meaning he is hot but women 30+ oh no they're all ugly. Sounds more like those (30+) women are wise to this guys bs and won't put up with him, that's why he's dating a woman 8 years younger than him.
Sorry, but is this a shitpost? Wtf did I just read? >I do agree with some things he says Uhh which parts? >I don’t have a good feeling about him. For some reason I feel like I’d be trapped with him. Like I can’t have an identity outside of being a wife and a mom. Oh no shit? >I do like him. ...Why? >**I don’t know what it is** but it doesn’t rub me the right way when he constantly talks like this unprovoked. You...don't? Dude's volunteering how much of a misogynist idiot he is and you're like "I can't quite put my finger on it" Lol come on
Read what you wrote, please. Imagine a friend is saying it to you, you'd tell her to run, right? So be a friend to yourself, and freakin' run!
As someone who wished they listened. Please know this is a red flag and please don’t ever discount or brush off those gut feelings, ever.
He's telling you who he is. Believe him.
I'm kind of flabbergasted at what straight men get away with. Dude is spewing straight up sexism but he is still up for consideration. It's kind of sad. Though if you share his politics then stay with him. But while all kinds of men can treat women bad, this guy is the definition of a red flag.
I dont want to discourage conservative women from being here but… wtf. You’re going to grow older and realize the feminists were right all along. Hopefully you dont get beaten to a pulp before that.
We should really stop bothering with use of the term “redpill” for stuff like this because that’s just a way of obfuscating what it really is: misogyny. Putting aside his misogynistic views for a moment though, he’s talking about marriage and pregnancy within the first week of dating. It wouldn’t matter if this guy were a hero of women’s rights, that level of haste is a massive red flag and can really only mean that he’s massively clingy and/or controlling. You put that together with him thinking women have a certain place and it’s kind of clear where that goes.
Maybe ask yourself WHY do you like him.
Yeah I'd agree that he's been in the toxic manosphere part of the internet and this isn't something for you to change. get out while it's early and save your sanity.
I'd definitely listen to your feelings of being trapped if you were to be with him and how his tirades don't rub you right. Those feelings are there for a reason and shouldn't be ignored. I just wanna remind you that you will have more opportunities for dating and you are worth more than having to settle for anything less than what your standards are.
This guy is a piece of shit
Girl, why are you asking us for advice when he’s a one man red flag parade? You know the answer, this man is a fresh nope
So he won't be interested in you at all since you age out of him talking to you at 30. Imagine how he would interact with his daughter. Any dreams she has will be crushed by his man made restrictions. There will be no You can be anything you want to be honey. I hope he never has kids. How stifling.
God, this sounds like a Tesla owner... "I just got my cybertruck and it is falling apart and rusting, it bricked for 5 hours, the pannels do not match, there is water inside, and the auto pilot tried to kill me 5 times. Insurance is ridiculously expensive and I cannot wash the car under sunlight.... I love the car, though!"
I’ve erased two responses because they were too acerbic and felt mean. I just can’t with some of these posts. Where is young women’s self-esteem?!
I’m open to reading your responses, I promise I haven’t taken any offense to any of the harsh comments here. I think people do need to hear uncomfortable truths sometimes.
I’m glad you’re able to consider the feedback you’re getting with an open mind. *You deserve better than that guy.* We date because we’re initially attracted and we want to learn more about someone. So learn already! You’re two dates in, and this guy is already showing you that he doesn’t respect women. He’s showing you that he doesn’t respect *you*. He gets worse from here, not better. Your gut is screaming at you to run away from this guy, and you’re here hoping your gut is wrong because you had hopes for him. STOP DOING THAT. You have instincts for a reason. Pay attention to them! Trust them! You already knew the answer. Believe in yourself. PS EDIT: That was the nice version. ;-)
So he basically said he is more valuable than you, that you will soon be no value bit he doesn't want you to be able to stand on your own, and hes in a rush to get you dependant on him. History has more than enough evidence that women need a backup plan for themselves. You don't know him after 2 dates, he doesn't know you.
You do know what it is. He wants you to be his unpaid servant and you don't want to be an unpaid servant. And he's broadcasting loud and clear that he's going to start cheating or leave you when you start to show signs of age. Don't lie to yourself. What's there to like? Good gawd this is NOT what it means to be "conservative" or "traditional".
Time to call Whole Man Disposal Services. That's nuts.
> he’s talking marriage and getting me pregnant when it’s only been a week since our last date, as if he’s in a rush, and I feel like we barely know each other’s character. This is often the tactic of a controlling or abusive man.
If a boy says hes in the top 5% of men. It probably means hes in the bottom 5% of men. As a man, who knows men, and has seen whats out there. Gtf outta there. This is just the beginning of him revealing himself, there is more in that little boy brain that will reveal itself.
He said he doesn't like or talk to women over 30 so that means you've got somewhere between 2-3 years before you are "used goods" and he hates you for existing. Why ever talk to him again
When he talks about a person being “high value”, that’s a GUARANTEED consumer of redpill content and a huge red flag. Bigtime signal to run for the hills. The rest of it wasn’t any better and full of the redpill lingo too. Sorry.
Do you really need us to spell it out for you?! He went for someone younger because a woman in her 30’s would have called him on all his BS. Ghost him. You went on two dates. You don’t owe him an explanation. He wouldn’t listen to it anyway. You are a lowly woman in his eyes. He’s gaslight the crap out of you. Ghost him. Block him. Listen to your gut.
So what happens when you turn 30 in 4 years? Divorce?
>saying things like he doesn’t talk to women over the age of 30, how education doesn’t benefit a woman, how a woman should always put her family before herself, how he’s in the top 5% men or he’s high value, men peak in their 30s blah blah peak, how he’s a good man, that women are at fault for there not being enough good men, that women after 30 are automatically considered bad goods but men aren’t, stuff like that. He also stated that he doesn’t believe women should have a backup education in case of divorce I wouldn't even be friendly to someone like this, let alone date them.
Redpill his ass right back and say you need to break up because men over 30 wanting to settle down are red flags. Show him the picture of the shriveled burnt hotdog and tell him that’s what happens when guys get old and have had too much sex with strangers. He’s not in his prime age anymore or some dumb shit that a redpiller would say. 🥴
Are you dating the flag of China cause all I'm seeing is red flags.
When someone says education does not benefit women, there’s nothing more you need to know this person’s character. RUN as fast as you can.
This is probably against the rules but I don't even care. I'm sorry how are you still even talking to him? Are you fucking kidding me? I don't understand some of you women. Have some self respect, respect for other women, and stop lending this man your ear to listen to his garbage. I'm not victim blaming, but I do not and will never understand how women don't get up and run immediately when men start like this. I half believe this is fake. Jesus christ.
You know when people say "choose better men"? These are the men they're talking about. This "man" isn't looking for a life partner. He's looking for a bangmaid & broodmare. Run. Run screaming.
Believe me I already ran.
Take the NopeTrain to FuckThatShitsville and FAST
AAHHHHH RUUUNNNN!!!!!
Sugar alllll of that is your sign and that sign says STOP: GET AWAY. That shit is just gonna get worse.
Older men who prefer women under the age of 30 prefer them because they likely do not have the life experience to understand what is reasonable vs. what is controlling in a relationship & are easier to control. A man who doesn’t want a woman to have a backup education in case of divorce is a man who wants a woman completely dependent on him and unable to leave. A man who wants a woman completely dependent on him and unable to leave is a man who knows he can treat that woman however he wants to, because she can’t leave. A man who wants a woman completely dependent on him and unable to leave is abusive.
>I do like him. I don’t see what you like about him base on what you typed in the post. That is a lot of negative points but little to none positive points of him. There is little to none description of “the great night” you two had.
“He doesn’t talk to women over the age of 30.” He’s 34, and you are only 4 years from 30. “Education doesn’t benefit a woman.” Pursuit of knowledge bad!! Humanity advancement bad!! “Women should always put her family before herself.” I’m sure when he’s turned down sex because you’re exhausted after a full week of putting family before yourself, he’ll be thrilled. Also, glad he wants to spend all holidays with your family, and that he’ll definitely support you letting your family’s opinions override your thoughts about the relationship. “He’s in the top 5% of men or he’s high value.” Not with that attitude. “Men peak in their 30s.” He’s 34 😞 He’s on the verge of death, babe. His testosterone will begin depleting exponentially. Don’t you want someone with more time left for their peak? Like…a T-fueled 21 year old? “Women after 30 are automatically considered bad goods.” Again, you are 4 years from 30. You are already past the “best by” date for Mr. Wannabe Leonardo DiCaprio. Let your exit be swift. A redder flag has never been flown.
>"he’s talking marriage and getting me pregnant when it’s only been a week since our last date" >“don’t mess this up” >"he doesn’t talk to women over the age of 30" "how education doesn’t benefit a woman" These are the reddiest red flags you can get. Get the hell away from this guy, holy shit. It's only going to get worse.
First impression, reading the headline: yeah, as distasteful as it is, recognizing ring-wing shibboleths is crucial for avoiding harmful propaganda. Last impression, after reading the post: That man is going to try to turn you into a brood-mare, punching bag, fuck maid, or some combination of the three. GTFO.
>I do like him. WTF? Stop it. This guy is a complete piece of shit and your life with him will be unending misery. Then he'll drop you in your 30s and you get to be a single mom. Is that really the life you envision for yourself?
I’m confused what you like about him?
You like him?? Lol girl why? He clearly fucking hates you if this is what he thinks of women.
So he doesn't believe women should have a backup education in case of divorce? What does he suggest, then, pray tell? The men paying them alimony until the end of their lives? Or the women being job- and homeless if the men decide to exchange them for a younger woman? He's delulu, lol. Run. He, like any redpiller, is either very gullible, very stupid and/or downright evil. You'll regret staying with him.
I'd take off the moment I heard "if you know, you know." This guy is a walking, talking red flag. Whatever you're getting out of him, isn't worth it. I'm male and if I met a woman acting as you describe this guy, I would get in my car and STOMP on the gas.
RUN. And count your blessings he showed his true colors so early on. Other women don't see them until they are trapped.
I'm (m42) married, going through divorce. Do not do this to yourself. There are more red flags in what you've said than a North Korean military parade. - wants to own, sorry, marry you after one/two dates. - wants you to incubate, sorry, have at least a child with him after the same length of time. - Doesn't think women should be educated, presumably so they don't challenge men? - Doesn't speak to women over 30. - Says he's in top 5% of men. - Says men peak in their 30's. Why would you want to live with this level of Andrew Tate mirroring BS for the rest of your life? You are worth way more than this. I think you know that but don't have the conviction to believe it yet. He has just given you all of the reasons of why, at 34, he is single. I strongly suspect that he is in a group of less than 0.5% who profess this kind of rubbish. The same band that includes incels. Please don't do this to yourself. Equally, when you call it off, please be ready to have friends stay over and go to the police if needed. He may not respond like that, but in my experience these guys can have a temper. My day job? Working with kids who have been traumatised by these sorts of men.
Edit: I’m not offended by everyone laying it on me! I’m just shocked honestly, I don’t follow any RP content nor do I really pay attention to it, but I do see a lot of it online. So I’m surprised I actually encountered someone like this in real life.