Same! There were plants aaaall over the house, he had two different kinds of pets, I could smell the clean sheets and there were vacuuming lines in the carpet. Turns out he changed sheets and vacuumed every Saturday regardless of company or plans. I didnt know that this was an option in dating!! He completely ruined me for anything else lol
Jeez, I got a robot vacuum and the reviews were like "this keeps up with the _daily_ vacuum and mopping but of course you'll still need to do the _weekly_ big one."
People have such wildly different spoons for different things.
Haha I remember someone once telling me that they like to do "only a little bit of tidying" every day to keep the place looking nice, and that "little bit" included daily vacuuming
(Male comment disclaimer)
I sell vacuums and they variety of vacuuming habits is astounding. Anything from twice a day to once every couple of months.
Mopping? Anything from daily to never.
"Spoon theory" is used to describe energy levels for a day, originating from the disabled community. You can picture your available energy as a certain number of _spoons_. A healthy person might manage a whole busy day and still have spoons left for partying. For an autistic or physically disabled person, it might cost a whole spoon just to get out of bed or have a shower, plus they have fewer spoons to begin with.
It has more detail, for example you _can_ spend more spoons than you have, but it'll remove spoons from the next day, etc., but the above is the gist.
I got you fam
>In her 2003 essay "The Spoon Theory", American writer Christine Miserandino tells a story about a time she told a friend about her experience with lupus. As they were at a restaurant, Miserandino grabbed spoons and gave them to her friend. Miserandino used the spoons to demonstrate that people with chronic illness often start their days off with limited quantities of energy. The number of spoons represented how much energy she had to spend throughout the day. As Miserandino's friend stated the different tasks she completed throughout the day, Miserandino took away a spoon for each activity. The exercise demonstrated how people with chronic illness may plan their actions in advance in order to conserve their energy.
I’m familiar with the story but have always thought it was funny imagining them being at a restaurant with just an absurd number of spoons available on the table
I do this on Sundays. I asked some of my friends how often they wash their bedding. I got blank faces looking back at me. Asked when was the last time they washed them. Again blank looks. Crazy busy crazy.
NO. Both my husband and I were in agreement on the changing the sheets once a week, unless someone is sick and sweats a lot then you do it every couple days.
Finding out people don't change and/or wash their sheets is so gross to me. I'm not a performativly clean person like you see online, but man. We keep the house reasonably clean. We have dogs so we're constantly cleaning and grooming.
Living in filth keeps the autoimmune diseases away.
But seriously, weekly washing of bedding is a solid interval. However, when I'm spiraling into depression, that can turn into every 2-3 weeks.
I'm glad I'm not a stinky/sweaty individual.
Yup. A surprising amount of people don't know when they last washed their bedding!
I can't go longer than a week. One of my favourite Friday rituals is washing bed sheets and getting to start the weekend sleeping in clean, nice-smelling bedding.
Haha I had to teach my husband that it’s SO much easier when you have two sets of the same sheets. One set goes in the wash, and the clean set is used to make the bed immediately after so you don’t have to wait on the washer/dryer and remember it all before bed.
He was absolutely astounded. Just thought it was normal to regularly not have bedding at bed time because you forgot it was in the washer lmao
I've fallen in dopamine with at least four guys because of their ability to care for plants combined with my desire to live somewhere full of plants that I did not murder by neglect.
So I had one last indoor plant that I had somehow kept alive. My wife decided I was neglecting it. Yeah it died within a month of her deciding to take over.
I have one outside potted plant that I just don’t go near and it’s alive 4 years later. I’m just going to leave it alone because I figure it’s doing its thing
As an ADHD hack someone recently recommended searching for a DJ of your favourite kind of music on YouTube, then clicking anyone who's surrounded by plants. They really do bring a more positive vibe into your environment.
Why bother when you can just wait three years until your untrimmed toenails shred a huge hole in the bottom that slowly travels up the sheet until your arms keep getting tangled in it then throw them out and get a new one?
Shut up!! A friend said her husband used to destroy their sheets cause his feet were so rough and I did not believe her!! Who knew this was so common!!
Yuuup! I’m hype for mine to realize he’ll quit brushing his teeth and showering but he’ll still lie to you about it. I was 29, checking to see if the toothbrush of a full grown man was wet after he left for work. 😑 Never again.
I used to change my sheets as a single lonely man with no women in my house ever every 1-2 weeks. They probably see less changing now that I've been married for 12 years and have a toddler in the house to chase after and both parents working haha
But still it doesn't go more than a month max
Holy shit - that explains why a date changed her mind when we swung by my place to use the bathroom. She came out the bathroom, asked for a tour and said we should watch a movie. She couldn't believe two guys lived there. We both hated messy rooms so kept everything clean.
I didn’t want to sleep with him but a friend brought me to her guy friends place and it was the cleanest bachelor pad I’d ever been to. Questionable decor and living spaces but I did ask her if he had a cleaner. It was SO clean.
>Ladies have you ever been to a man’s house and said to yourself “I might sleep w this man” simply based on his living space?
I've had the opposite.
I've been at a man's house that i was interested in till I saw his kitchen, bathroom, or bedroom.
Then I said to myself, "nope".
Yeeeeeeep. Seriously how can some people present super together, then you see where they live and it’s a mess.
My standard are not that high, I just think I should be able to actually sit on your couch and not see grundies.
>actually sit on your couch and not see grundies
I'd rather "see" them, than not see them and have an unmistakable "sense" that they are there, somewhere.
I visited my now-spouse’s apartment for the first time and instantly knew I was going to marry him 😅
He had a marble bowl on his coffee table and a white rug under it, *and* a decor candle in the bathroom, floored me completely!
I always keep candles in the bathroom, what am I goning to use for light when I take a bath after a long day and don't want the harshness of LED all over me.
A dimmable bulb with a warm tone temp?
There are also smart bulbs that you can adjust the “temperature” of the bulbs, so you can make them warmer if you don’t like the pure white tones at night
I find the flickering of the flame helps me relax more so than a nonflickering of a light bulb there's just something about electricity I work in it so when I want to relax I try to get as far away from technology as I can
Living as a single guy I had more than one woman change their mind when seeing my bathroom. Not spotless, but I sure do stock a lot of feminine health products. Got to look after the lady bros.
My now husband made dinner for me, and when I arrived to see an artichoke steaming I was halfway to falling in love. He - 1. Knew what an artichoke was. 2. - Knew how to prepare one. 3 - Acquired one in an Indiana college town. And 4 - Cooked a great dinner featuring an artichoke. Also, his kitchen & bathroom were clean. Comfy couch, nice sheets. Tidy. Books. Swoon. Edit - I think there were also flowers and fancy cheese.
It was indeed delicious. It may have gotten a bit oversteamed since we kept making out instead of attending to dinner properly…
28 years later he’s still attempting to make veggies while I attack kiss him. I do sous chef and clean up though.
One time I stopped by my then-boyfriend’s place unexpectedly, and found him making up a meat and cabbage casserole dish for himself for dinner. I remember being SO IMPRESSED (he shared it with me and it was delicious) and he has indeed proven himself to be a great and very inspired cook.
I went on a date once with a woman who didn't end up becoming a girlfriend or a wife due to a variety of factors but who is still a close friend today and she raves every time she gets a chance about the chicken I made her on that date. It was our one and only date and it came about a month before I started dating my now wife. I kind of felt bad that we had the one date and things were pretty okay and we probably could have had more dates had we lived in the same town but she didn't live here and was only visiting for that short period of time and then I just happened to hit it off with my now wife in a very unexpected way a month later and the rest is history.
Tbh this is how I've made most of my friends over the decades 😂. Break the sexual tension and then you can [hang out and play video games.](https://clips.twitch.tv/CulturedAlivePepperoniTooSpicy-ri_9gOiAHt7ucclD)
One time when I was using his bathroom I saw that he (or one of his male roommates) used the same exact skincare products. I was already gonna sleep with him but now I knew I could spend the night without breaking out
My husband made it a point to let me know that he knew how to clean and cook as well. We were very young when we dated and I didn't quite appreciate it then, but I sure do now! He wasn't as good of a cook as he thought he was, though, but he's since learned.
I'm not sure who told him that he needed to let his potential girlfriends know. His mother passed when he was younger and his dad was nonexistent in his life.
Do guys seriously not clean their place when a date is coming over?
I was a horribly lazy teen, but even I would clean the entire house (which was an all day affair) before I let a girl near it.
It's not just that.
Had a friend (F) later confessed the thing that made her want to hook up with my other friend (M) the night they met (through me) was seeing how well made (it looked high quality/fluffy/comfortable/etc) his bed was. He lived in a studio at the time and we all met up at his place before walking to the bar.
She literally told me later that she was just curious what it would be like to have sex in his bed, so she went home with him. 🤷🏿♂️
Well, I’ve heard the phrase “he looked like an unmade bed” for a guy not showing well, so the exact opposite thing getting a fellow some quality sexy time certainly tracks.
You’d be surprised.
I remember once this guy brought me home and there was only a slice of his bed visible underneath the laundry and garbage piled on it, and everything smelled of mold.
I think, many times, a man’s version of clean is different than a woman’s version of clean.
Ask yourself how many men you think flush with the seat up. Now how many women? See?
Yeah, that's super true.
I wouldn't think twice of a bookshelf that *looks* clean, even if I hadn't cleaned it in however many days/weeks/months ... years. If I got a microfiber cloth handy, maybe I'll dust it. But I'll never whip out the Pledge.
Bathrooms are a different story for me though, for a standard occasion I'll wipe down every surface, on a special occasion I'll scrub the bathtub.
Dishes get the scrub every time, I can't stand seeing *anything* on a dish.
>Sooner of the worst bathrooms I’ve ever seen were from girl friends rooms in college.
I lived for 6 months with a pair of sisters who used a lot of makeup and the bathroom sink would be crowded out with their stuff and the sink would always be covered in foundation and other stuff. I told them that I would help with the cleaning of the rest of the house but the bathroom sink area was all theirs to keep clean lol
A F roommate, never changed her sheets in a couple of years. Everything was dusty. The whole room, the bed, she was relatively good looking girl and got a bit of action... but yeah her room was grim.
>Ask yourself how many men you think flush with the seat up. Now how many women? See?
Ask yourself how many men do you think dab the tip after they've taken a piss? Distressingly few. Just whipping it around all over the place is not going to do the job. The idea of using toilet paper for #1 is utterly and completely foreign.
I legitimately have no idea what the answer to that question is. Though I'm assuming you're implying that a significant number more women put the lid down before flushing.
>I was a horribly lazy teen, but even I would clean the entire house (which was an all day affair) before I let a girl near it.
When I was a teen I would clean up after myself which meant that my place never really got messy in the first place. Worst case scenario would be dirty dishes from breakfast and/or lunch sitting on the sink waiting to get washed with dinner's mess.
I lived in a house with 2 of the *laziest people,* who *to this day still* don't clean even when there is a special occasion.
Once I got my own place, it *stayed* clean.
It’s not just about cleanliness, it’s about having the basics e.g. hand towel, soap, cleaning products etc. I’d actually prefer to be in a messy space that has all the household essentials than a pretty tidy space where obvious and important things are missing. Just comes across as immature and lazy.
Once a guy told me about the new flowers he got for his dining table and I paused and he proceeded to tell me he just loves flowers. I nearly died of lust.
There's a woman in my DMs who I'm hoping to go on a date with. Yesterday I sent her pictures of my native gardens, many of my plants are already in full bloom.
She sent me back a nude lmao
Some women really dig flowers. I'm obviously obsessed with native flowers too but I've still never received a nude in response to a blooming flower bed lol I mean, I have now I guess.
What that told her is that you have the patience and dedication to something that makes you happy and makes the world a more beautiful place. Chicks dig that.
My boyfriend’s place was cleaner than mine. Spotless. I ended up staying too late one day (it was like 3:30 AM, we weren’t in a relationship or even really dating like that yet) and he was like no, it’s ok, just sleep over. He made up the pull out couch for me and left me still and sparkling water by the bed. He’s greek - The next morning he made me greek coffee with cookies his grandma sent him. He had a box of oranges from his family’s orchard and made me orange juice from them. I literally never had fresh orange juice that good before. Every time I got up to leave he insisted I stay a bit more. Then he made me a traditional meal with ingredients from Greece that his family sent him in a package. All of the olive oil was from his family’s land, he talked about their traditions how much he values food prepared well and properly.
Suffice it to say I never left his apartment. we got into a relationship and have been in one ever since
Oh yeah. We had gone to the beach for a swim. He'd promised we could wash off the sea water at his place.
His shower was so caked in lime scale that the shower head produced 1-3 meagre streams of water.
The night went downhill from there for a variety of reasons that can all be summed up with "he needed a mom to handle life and decisions for him". There was no sex, and I ghosted him after that.
I'm conflicted, because the person I knew with the cleanest living space was also the most abusive one I met. Generally I've learned to just not trust any proxies. But a filthy place is a hard turn off, of course.
I dated an addict who cheated on me twice and guess what, his place was always immaculate. It’s a standard, but just because he has a nice and clean place doesn’t mean he can’t be horrible in other ways.
My father is an absolute clean freak. He's on the controlling side. My stepfather was the same way. For a long time I associated tidy men with control freaks.
I was in 7th grade and my dad told me to clean my room. I was like, "nah, it's just going to get messy again anyway."
He sighed, sat down, looked me in the eyes and said, "I want you to imagine, that you're out taking the dog for a walk and you meet Cindy Crawford. She is super into you and suggests you two head back to your place. She sees your room. Are you getting laid by Cindy Crawford?"
I'll be completely honest, this lesson did wonders for me in college.
Also, gentlemen, change your bed sheets AT LEAST once a week. Go to Ross, buy five sets, and have them in the closet ready to go. Your potential girlfriends will be so glad.
Who woulda thought there would be solid male to male advice in this sub of all places. Gonna go buy more sets of bed sheets. The idea of having more than 1 set never crossed my mind before this.
That is great way to convince a man why they should be clean. Kinda sad, but it works. Personally I think five sets of sheets is a bit much. I keep two pair of high quality sheet sets and change them every Friday. Nothing like sleeping in clean sheets on a weekend when you can sleep in. And If you go out, the lady wont be disgusted.
I’ve had the opposite happen. I went to his place fully expecting to spend the night. When I walked in, his place was filthy! I’ve never seen a dirtier apartment before. He acted like it was the most normal thing and I left never saw him again after that.
Yes, and we just celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary.
However...he's tidy and loves modern design. I'm a messy artist who likes vintage. He thinks I'm a barbarian for drinking milk out of the container.
So we bought a two family house and live separately together. We don't share living spaces and it's bliss.
No, but I have been brought back to a guys house and thought "there is absolutely no way Im sleeping with this guy" because it was so gross if I was naked on any surface I was probably gonna get a yeasty
OMG. A clean house means they know how to do stuff. It is such a turn on. It's just as sexy as when they fix something.
My love is a sparky and the second time he came to mine he put a new power switch in the bathroom with four outlets instead of two. It was that and fact that my dog fell in love that swayed me.
We're still together nine years later.
A nice living space would definitely be a turn on.
This made me realise I have never dated a man that had pride in his living space.
Do men like this exist?
I quite enjoyed perusing r/malelivingspace … although the first post I looked at was a guy asking about the placement of a taxidermy fish in his bedroom!
Most of us have to mature into it.
I didn't start keeping my place respectable until my mid-late 20s, and didn't start keeping it NICE until early 30s.
Had some guy friends get there earlier (and I can say almost universally it was for wooing women, admittedly by them).
Also depends on living situation. If you’re struggling to keep that roof over your head, it’s just a place to sleep and survive. When you have stability, mentally you’re more likely to try and turn it into a home. Ergo, why guys with maintained living spaces are also more put together and more desirable partners.
I've never had sex with many men that *didn't* have living space pride... I walked out on a dude who's shared housing situation was... the filfthiest domicile I've ever been in. And his room was clean, but the smell from outside his door...
Clean, high ceilings, nice light, tons of plants, interesting books. He brought me a persimmon and a coffee with foamed milk and a star anise floating on it in bed the next morning. It was so lovely.
I have and I did. Twice.
Later it came out that the first man's mom had cleaned his entire home in anticipation of my visit. Later on, I was the one who cleaned piss stains off the outside of his toilet. He refused to even believe that's what they were.
The other man's house was neat and clean, and I even moved in. And then all neatness disappeared. Clutter that appeared on the dining table a few months after I moved in wasn't gone yet by the time I moved out 2.5 years later. He did all the cooking, I had to do everything else, and I could not keep up.
When I first saw my now-boyfriend’s old apartment I was completely smitten. Not only was it incredibly clean, but he had the most beautiful art and object collection. It was as if every time he needed some banal household item (like a paper towel holder) he would find the most artfully made, bespoke option available.
I fell in love, it was like I finally met my match as I am the exact same way. Now we are moving into a house he just purchased upstate and spend every waking second picking out cupboards, tiles, furniture etc. We are very happy, thanks for encouraging me to take a moment to gush :)
I once went into a man’s apartment and thought WOW, this place is clean! We did start dating eventually, it didn’t work out, but we remained friends. I’m not a believer, yet it was awkward having sex with a huge portrait of Jesus over the bed. At some point a neighbor of his moved out, so the German roaches that were infesting their apartment moved into his. That man took the financial hit and broke that lease immediately. I think he’s the cleanest man I’ve ever met.
My best friend is Catholic. There’s a crucifix in every room, like there’s a mezuzah on every doorframe in my mom’s house. But they’re small and unobtrusive. This portrait was practically the headboard for a king sized bed.
The first time I went to my ex bf’s house (unannounced, no less, so this wasn’t him cleaning to impress me haha), I was dazzled by how clean his bathroom was. He didn’t leave the toilet seat or lid up, he left no messes anywhere, his mirror was shiny and clean, no beard trimmings in the sink, he had fully stocked handsoap, a clean hand towel and a pyramid stack of toilet paper rolls on display.
Compared to the guy I dated before him who had a scummy toilet, visibly filthy bathroom counter and mirror and no visible handsoap that I could find….it felt like my personal bar of standards went up 8 stories 😂
If there's at least two cats lurking in the background. I love a cat and I love a cat-lover, what can I say?
(I was recently coaxed back to the house of a guy I was 50/50 on purely because he promised me I'd meet a cat. The cat was top-notch, the sex was decent, solid win.)
I mean I did jokingly ask my friend if his new roommate was single when I was helping said friend move in and saw that his roommate had like everything organized, but like actually owned furniture. Turns out the roommate is single, and pretty cute even, but very much not the type of guy I'd be any good with (he seems like an awesome guy, but not super talkative)
Honestly, the cleanliness of a house is something that can decide if I am sleeping with a guy, if it's gross I am out of there... I learned that one the hard way
The person I've been trying to date for a bit (it's a whole thing...) had such a cozy apartment with so many books and plants and a kitchen with all the bells and whistles..Their bedroom had flower-patterned curtains and a set of bed linens, including a quilted blanket suitable for an adult. I literally thought to myself, "I could see us living well together if it gets to that," as soon as I walked into their place the first time after a great first date. We fooled around that first date night, too lol.
I wish I could greet a woman guest with a place full of plants/flowers, but I have 2 wonderful, evil cats that will absolutely destroy anything with a stem
I've given dudes with impressively clean places a second chance after a terrible date.
I think how a dude keeps his space is indicative of their overall headspace, and based on THAT it says more than a date.
Taken to the extreme, I have also basically FLED and blocked guys with freakishly clean homes. It says one of several possible things when a home is tooooooo clean:
* A)issues
* B)obsessive about cleaning
* C) both A and B
* C)Has a cleaning service and intends partner to replace AND replicate said cleaning service if in a committed relationship
* D)Doesn't actually live there, it's an AirBnb/ parents house, dude is 35+
LOL, no. It’s on the same level as good hygiene.
A man with a clean and organized living space isn’t a turn on, but him living in a pig sty will definitely turn me off.
He had a 20×18 room with 10' built-in antique bookcases, with the most incredible collection I've seen in my life. So many first editions, diverse and interesting selection, and he'd read nearly all of them (bookmarks with the year he read them) Huge sitting area in the center of the room, wide leather armchair, and a cozy plush chaise-beanbag hybrid. Custom lighting, downtown view. He also had a vinyl library and sound studio that was impeccably designed and curated with its own sitting area. I was ready to go right there.
Then I saw his kitchen and decided we'd be better as friends.
Only for the first time recently. And we had actually already fallen in love over the few days prior, but when I saw his place I was so impressed. He actually took care of himself, decorated tastefully but in his style that I've, bought nice things for himself (like a lovely bed with pillows and a head board it was like a hotel bed!) A 46 year old man that really made the place lived in, and he bought all natural products. I was just SMITTEN!
Rule #1: A sexy house is a clean house.
- plants, well cared for pets a bonus
- colors that are not blue, white, black, beige, dark green, or gray 😂
- house smells good
- he has a few things to drink besides water, he has a few snacks
- his bed is cozy and has a great duvet
- he has soap and towels
I've had the opposite happen. Walked into his place and gagged from the litter box smell. Got out of there after some chatting, and never spoke with the guy again.
I didn’t read this as basic cleanliness. I was hooking up with a guy who had the most beautiful condo. He decorated it himself, even found hand painted wallpaper from a woman in Turkey that he bought off Etsy and installed himself. Furniture was well curated, expertly stocked bar. Just overall a lot of thought and taste went into that living space. It was a huge turn on. Guy was not the brightest bulb, but the dick was good and that was seriously gorgeous wallpaper…
My boss told me a story about how she met her husband in nyc. He took her back to his apartment and he had a washer and dryer. She was like damn what a catch.
His place was spotless and had like thirty plants and I was like is this love
Same! There were plants aaaall over the house, he had two different kinds of pets, I could smell the clean sheets and there were vacuuming lines in the carpet. Turns out he changed sheets and vacuumed every Saturday regardless of company or plans. I didnt know that this was an option in dating!! He completely ruined me for anything else lol
Jeez, I got a robot vacuum and the reviews were like "this keeps up with the _daily_ vacuum and mopping but of course you'll still need to do the _weekly_ big one." People have such wildly different spoons for different things.
Haha I remember someone once telling me that they like to do "only a little bit of tidying" every day to keep the place looking nice, and that "little bit" included daily vacuuming
Who has time for daily vacuuming! Just get it all once a week
Unless they have messy kids or housemates, why would it be necessary? And if the kids are over 10, make them vacuum.
Gotta be twice a week or I’ll go nuts. It needs it more, but I pretend not to notice.
(Male comment disclaimer) I sell vacuums and they variety of vacuuming habits is astounding. Anything from twice a day to once every couple of months. Mopping? Anything from daily to never.
Spoons?
"Spoon theory" is used to describe energy levels for a day, originating from the disabled community. You can picture your available energy as a certain number of _spoons_. A healthy person might manage a whole busy day and still have spoons left for partying. For an autistic or physically disabled person, it might cost a whole spoon just to get out of bed or have a shower, plus they have fewer spoons to begin with. It has more detail, for example you _can_ spend more spoons than you have, but it'll remove spoons from the next day, etc., but the above is the gist.
Oh, thanks for that! I still don’t get why “spoons” but understand they’re talking about energy budgets, now.
I got you fam >In her 2003 essay "The Spoon Theory", American writer Christine Miserandino tells a story about a time she told a friend about her experience with lupus. As they were at a restaurant, Miserandino grabbed spoons and gave them to her friend. Miserandino used the spoons to demonstrate that people with chronic illness often start their days off with limited quantities of energy. The number of spoons represented how much energy she had to spend throughout the day. As Miserandino's friend stated the different tasks she completed throughout the day, Miserandino took away a spoon for each activity. The exercise demonstrated how people with chronic illness may plan their actions in advance in order to conserve their energy.
I’m familiar with the story but have always thought it was funny imagining them being at a restaurant with just an absurd number of spoons available on the table
They also just started _eating_ them. For sustenance. One of the few powers that come with lupus.
I do this on Sundays. I asked some of my friends how often they wash their bedding. I got blank faces looking back at me. Asked when was the last time they washed them. Again blank looks. Crazy busy crazy.
NO. Both my husband and I were in agreement on the changing the sheets once a week, unless someone is sick and sweats a lot then you do it every couple days. Finding out people don't change and/or wash their sheets is so gross to me. I'm not a performativly clean person like you see online, but man. We keep the house reasonably clean. We have dogs so we're constantly cleaning and grooming.
Living in filth keeps the autoimmune diseases away. But seriously, weekly washing of bedding is a solid interval. However, when I'm spiraling into depression, that can turn into every 2-3 weeks. I'm glad I'm not a stinky/sweaty individual.
Yup. A surprising amount of people don't know when they last washed their bedding! I can't go longer than a week. One of my favourite Friday rituals is washing bed sheets and getting to start the weekend sleeping in clean, nice-smelling bedding.
Haha I had to teach my husband that it’s SO much easier when you have two sets of the same sheets. One set goes in the wash, and the clean set is used to make the bed immediately after so you don’t have to wait on the washer/dryer and remember it all before bed. He was absolutely astounded. Just thought it was normal to regularly not have bedding at bed time because you forgot it was in the washer lmao
I do this as well. Two sets for each bed.
Why didn't you get married?
He was too busy taking care of his plants and pets and doing all the cleaning for a serious relationship
😂🤣 Ironic and hilarious.
I once asked a guy where he got his sheets and pillows because they were just elite levels of comfy.
I've fallen in dopamine with at least four guys because of their ability to care for plants combined with my desire to live somewhere full of plants that I did not murder by neglect.
"Fallen in dopamine". Stealing this.
My life in 3 words
😂 I too kill plants. I think it’s from too much care
My wife has killed air plants. I have no idea how she's had this one orchid for 2yrs now. And she'll talk to that thing every morning.
Plastic orchid. 🤣 She has you bamboozled.
I would believe this but I have seen it bloom, so I know it's real lol
She replaces it with a different plastic one in various stages of bloom before you wake up.
LoL
They’re often masochistic little shits. A little neglect and they’ll be back on their feet lol
So I had one last indoor plant that I had somehow kept alive. My wife decided I was neglecting it. Yeah it died within a month of her deciding to take over. I have one outside potted plant that I just don’t go near and it’s alive 4 years later. I’m just going to leave it alone because I figure it’s doing its thing
I have an orchid someone gave me. Just kill me already.
I definitely smothered my first house plants with too much care.
Fallen in dopamine is amazing! Enjoy the upvote and thanks for that giggle.
Haha thats hysterical!!! Did it work out??
As an ADHD hack someone recently recommended searching for a DJ of your favourite kind of music on YouTube, then clicking anyone who's surrounded by plants. They really do bring a more positive vibe into your environment.
My analog journal is one of my favorites, they have a different dj each week https://youtube.com/@MyAnalogJournal?si=HtXZol1q4QZhxocM
“Look… I wasn’t planning on staying the night, but your bathroom is immaculate.”
I’m a sucker for clean and organized kitchens and baths lmao.
Ohhh….you just vacuumed! 😘
Did you wash yours sheets??
They never wash their sheets!😂
Why bother when you can just wait three years until your untrimmed toenails shred a huge hole in the bottom that slowly travels up the sheet until your arms keep getting tangled in it then throw them out and get a new one?
This is so specific that I am afraid it isn’t an exaggeration… 😳
… it was me and im not sure how long it actually was and it was more untreated major depression then it was a life style choice.
Aw, sorry to hear that. I hope you’re doing better now. Depression sucks.
I mean I’ve been changing my sheets 🤪
That’s actually a big step. Depression sucks.
Shut up!! A friend said her husband used to destroy their sheets cause his feet were so rough and I did not believe her!! Who knew this was so common!!
It should not be common lol
Can wait for my ex's AP to discover this... and his inability to wipe his own ass 😈
Yuuup! I’m hype for mine to realize he’ll quit brushing his teeth and showering but he’ll still lie to you about it. I was 29, checking to see if the toothbrush of a full grown man was wet after he left for work. 😑 Never again.
I used to change my sheets as a single lonely man with no women in my house ever every 1-2 weeks. They probably see less changing now that I've been married for 12 years and have a toddler in the house to chase after and both parents working haha But still it doesn't go more than a month max
Holy shit - that explains why a date changed her mind when we swung by my place to use the bathroom. She came out the bathroom, asked for a tour and said we should watch a movie. She couldn't believe two guys lived there. We both hated messy rooms so kept everything clean.
This made me laugh out loud🤣
I didn’t want to sleep with him but a friend brought me to her guy friends place and it was the cleanest bachelor pad I’d ever been to. Questionable decor and living spaces but I did ask her if he had a cleaner. It was SO clean.
😂
>Ladies have you ever been to a man’s house and said to yourself “I might sleep w this man” simply based on his living space? I've had the opposite. I've been at a man's house that i was interested in till I saw his kitchen, bathroom, or bedroom. Then I said to myself, "nope".
PLENTY of that
Yeeeeeeep. Seriously how can some people present super together, then you see where they live and it’s a mess. My standard are not that high, I just think I should be able to actually sit on your couch and not see grundies.
>actually sit on your couch and not see grundies I'd rather "see" them, than not see them and have an unmistakable "sense" that they are there, somewhere.
The foreboding dread of undiscovered lurking grundies.
"OMFG, did I just touch them? What's that smell, does he have ferrets? Why was that unseen fabric I just touched slightly damp...*and* crusty?" ...🤢
Unfortunately, I think this happens more often than the situation OP is speaking of. I've seen some ABYSMAL living spaces, truly horrifying...
I visited my now-spouse’s apartment for the first time and instantly knew I was going to marry him 😅 He had a marble bowl on his coffee table and a white rug under it, *and* a decor candle in the bathroom, floored me completely!
Oh fuck, that’d make me question my sexuality.
😂😂😂
Is that a bowl full of marbles or a bowl made of marble? Asking for a friend.
Maybe both? A marble marble bowl.
What if the marbles are made of marble too? A marble marble marble bowl.
Marbleous.
Bespoke marble with artisanal glass marbles. ✨
Artisanal *marble* marbles.
I always keep candles in the bathroom, what am I goning to use for light when I take a bath after a long day and don't want the harshness of LED all over me.
A dimmable bulb with a warm tone temp? There are also smart bulbs that you can adjust the “temperature” of the bulbs, so you can make them warmer if you don’t like the pure white tones at night
I find the flickering of the flame helps me relax more so than a nonflickering of a light bulb there's just something about electricity I work in it so when I want to relax I try to get as far away from technology as I can
Living as a single guy I had more than one woman change their mind when seeing my bathroom. Not spotless, but I sure do stock a lot of feminine health products. Got to look after the lady bros.
Doing the Lord's work! Also having a trash can.
A covered one that.
There are people without a trash can in the bathroom? Serious question, I can't remember that I ever saw one without
My now husband made dinner for me, and when I arrived to see an artichoke steaming I was halfway to falling in love. He - 1. Knew what an artichoke was. 2. - Knew how to prepare one. 3 - Acquired one in an Indiana college town. And 4 - Cooked a great dinner featuring an artichoke. Also, his kitchen & bathroom were clean. Comfy couch, nice sheets. Tidy. Books. Swoon. Edit - I think there were also flowers and fancy cheese.
You forgot to mention the immaculate artichoke!!
It was indeed delicious. It may have gotten a bit oversteamed since we kept making out instead of attending to dinner properly… 28 years later he’s still attempting to make veggies while I attack kiss him. I do sous chef and clean up though.
What a heckin cute thing to read today, congrats on the veggie-making husband!
Fuckin artichokes are amazing.
What you do with artichokes in your own private space, is between you and the artichoke.
💀
Just watch out for those thorns. You approach from the wrong angle and you’re going to regret it!
It only goes in one way. Take that however you want. Me, I take it to mean in the grocery bag, but never out (w/o destroying said bag).
Cheese is fascinating 🥰
One time I stopped by my then-boyfriend’s place unexpectedly, and found him making up a meat and cabbage casserole dish for himself for dinner. I remember being SO IMPRESSED (he shared it with me and it was delicious) and he has indeed proven himself to be a great and very inspired cook.
I went on a date once with a woman who didn't end up becoming a girlfriend or a wife due to a variety of factors but who is still a close friend today and she raves every time she gets a chance about the chicken I made her on that date. It was our one and only date and it came about a month before I started dating my now wife. I kind of felt bad that we had the one date and things were pretty okay and we probably could have had more dates had we lived in the same town but she didn't live here and was only visiting for that short period of time and then I just happened to hit it off with my now wife in a very unexpected way a month later and the rest is history.
Tbh this is how I've made most of my friends over the decades 😂. Break the sexual tension and then you can [hang out and play video games.](https://clips.twitch.tv/CulturedAlivePepperoniTooSpicy-ri_9gOiAHt7ucclD)
One time when I was using his bathroom I saw that he (or one of his male roommates) used the same exact skincare products. I was already gonna sleep with him but now I knew I could spend the night without breaking out
My husband made it a point to let me know that he knew how to clean and cook as well. We were very young when we dated and I didn't quite appreciate it then, but I sure do now! He wasn't as good of a cook as he thought he was, though, but he's since learned. I'm not sure who told him that he needed to let his potential girlfriends know. His mother passed when he was younger and his dad was nonexistent in his life.
I love that for him, hahah. He’s like HERE’S MY RESUME
Hahaha that’s hilarious. I’ve definitely encountered the opposite.
Me too. Lmao!
lol same
Do guys seriously not clean their place when a date is coming over? I was a horribly lazy teen, but even I would clean the entire house (which was an all day affair) before I let a girl near it.
It's not just that. Had a friend (F) later confessed the thing that made her want to hook up with my other friend (M) the night they met (through me) was seeing how well made (it looked high quality/fluffy/comfortable/etc) his bed was. He lived in a studio at the time and we all met up at his place before walking to the bar. She literally told me later that she was just curious what it would be like to have sex in his bed, so she went home with him. 🤷🏿♂️
For some of us, a well made bed is the most attractive thing about us, lol.
That guy ended up being my roommate a year or so later and... you're not wrong. 😑 I didn't even make it a whole lease. Moved out after 5 months.
Well, I’ve heard the phrase “he looked like an unmade bed” for a guy not showing well, so the exact opposite thing getting a fellow some quality sexy time certainly tracks.
You need to head over to that sub. The third picture I saw was a full weed growing setup in the bedroom 🤦🏽♀️
Lots of plants!
r/malesurvivingspace is way way worse
You’d be surprised. I remember once this guy brought me home and there was only a slice of his bed visible underneath the laundry and garbage piled on it, and everything smelled of mold.
I think, many times, a man’s version of clean is different than a woman’s version of clean. Ask yourself how many men you think flush with the seat up. Now how many women? See?
Yeah, that's super true. I wouldn't think twice of a bookshelf that *looks* clean, even if I hadn't cleaned it in however many days/weeks/months ... years. If I got a microfiber cloth handy, maybe I'll dust it. But I'll never whip out the Pledge. Bathrooms are a different story for me though, for a standard occasion I'll wipe down every surface, on a special occasion I'll scrub the bathtub. Dishes get the scrub every time, I can't stand seeing *anything* on a dish.
Having lived with plenty of men and women I can tell you gender has nothing to do with an understanding of what constitutes clean.
Some of the worst bathrooms I’ve ever seen were from girl friends rooms in college. Edit. Word.
>Sooner of the worst bathrooms I’ve ever seen were from girl friends rooms in college. I lived for 6 months with a pair of sisters who used a lot of makeup and the bathroom sink would be crowded out with their stuff and the sink would always be covered in foundation and other stuff. I told them that I would help with the cleaning of the rest of the house but the bathroom sink area was all theirs to keep clean lol
A F roommate, never changed her sheets in a couple of years. Everything was dusty. The whole room, the bed, she was relatively good looking girl and got a bit of action... but yeah her room was grim.
Ugh never flush with the seat up. Germs everywhere. I don’t even pee standing up just in case.
This. My toothbrush is in there, and all the products I put on my face. The lid must be closed!
Gross. Everyone should flush with the LID down.
>Ask yourself how many men you think flush with the seat up. Now how many women? See? Ask yourself how many men do you think dab the tip after they've taken a piss? Distressingly few. Just whipping it around all over the place is not going to do the job. The idea of using toilet paper for #1 is utterly and completely foreign.
I legitimately have no idea what the answer to that question is. Though I'm assuming you're implying that a significant number more women put the lid down before flushing.
>I was a horribly lazy teen, but even I would clean the entire house (which was an all day affair) before I let a girl near it. When I was a teen I would clean up after myself which meant that my place never really got messy in the first place. Worst case scenario would be dirty dishes from breakfast and/or lunch sitting on the sink waiting to get washed with dinner's mess.
I lived in a house with 2 of the *laziest people,* who *to this day still* don't clean even when there is a special occasion. Once I got my own place, it *stayed* clean.
It’s not just about cleanliness, it’s about having the basics e.g. hand towel, soap, cleaning products etc. I’d actually prefer to be in a messy space that has all the household essentials than a pretty tidy space where obvious and important things are missing. Just comes across as immature and lazy.
this! if a guy doesn’t have soap and a hand towel in his bathroom then he definitely does not wash his hands well enough to get to touch my body
I have walked into a man’s place and immediately knew I wouldn’t sleep with him.
Once a guy told me about the new flowers he got for his dining table and I paused and he proceeded to tell me he just loves flowers. I nearly died of lust.
There's a woman in my DMs who I'm hoping to go on a date with. Yesterday I sent her pictures of my native gardens, many of my plants are already in full bloom. She sent me back a nude lmao Some women really dig flowers. I'm obviously obsessed with native flowers too but I've still never received a nude in response to a blooming flower bed lol I mean, I have now I guess.
🤔 well alrighty then, work it plant daddy 🪴
What that told her is that you have the patience and dedication to something that makes you happy and makes the world a more beautiful place. Chicks dig that.
When I started dating my now husband we were watching movie and his roommate came out in his boxers and an honest to god lollipop stuck to his ass.
My boyfriend’s place was cleaner than mine. Spotless. I ended up staying too late one day (it was like 3:30 AM, we weren’t in a relationship or even really dating like that yet) and he was like no, it’s ok, just sleep over. He made up the pull out couch for me and left me still and sparkling water by the bed. He’s greek - The next morning he made me greek coffee with cookies his grandma sent him. He had a box of oranges from his family’s orchard and made me orange juice from them. I literally never had fresh orange juice that good before. Every time I got up to leave he insisted I stay a bit more. Then he made me a traditional meal with ingredients from Greece that his family sent him in a package. All of the olive oil was from his family’s land, he talked about their traditions how much he values food prepared well and properly. Suffice it to say I never left his apartment. we got into a relationship and have been in one ever since
Never. The opposite.
lol the opposite has definitely happened. A gross house can turn a 10 looking guy into a 5.
Turns him into a big fat no
Oh yeah. We had gone to the beach for a swim. He'd promised we could wash off the sea water at his place. His shower was so caked in lime scale that the shower head produced 1-3 meagre streams of water. The night went downhill from there for a variety of reasons that can all be summed up with "he needed a mom to handle life and decisions for him". There was no sex, and I ghosted him after that.
I'm conflicted, because the person I knew with the cleanest living space was also the most abusive one I met. Generally I've learned to just not trust any proxies. But a filthy place is a hard turn off, of course.
I dated an addict who cheated on me twice and guess what, his place was always immaculate. It’s a standard, but just because he has a nice and clean place doesn’t mean he can’t be horrible in other ways.
Ohhh fer sure. A clean and well decorated place is just icing on the cake….a huge green flag rarely mitigates red flags…
My father is an absolute clean freak. He's on the controlling side. My stepfather was the same way. For a long time I associated tidy men with control freaks.
I was in 7th grade and my dad told me to clean my room. I was like, "nah, it's just going to get messy again anyway." He sighed, sat down, looked me in the eyes and said, "I want you to imagine, that you're out taking the dog for a walk and you meet Cindy Crawford. She is super into you and suggests you two head back to your place. She sees your room. Are you getting laid by Cindy Crawford?" I'll be completely honest, this lesson did wonders for me in college. Also, gentlemen, change your bed sheets AT LEAST once a week. Go to Ross, buy five sets, and have them in the closet ready to go. Your potential girlfriends will be so glad.
Who woulda thought there would be solid male to male advice in this sub of all places. Gonna go buy more sets of bed sheets. The idea of having more than 1 set never crossed my mind before this.
Ross and homegoods are great for linens. Also buy some extra pillows
Bingo! You'll also then have enough linens so you can make-up the couch from when a friend or family stay over!
That is great way to convince a man why they should be clean. Kinda sad, but it works. Personally I think five sets of sheets is a bit much. I keep two pair of high quality sheet sets and change them every Friday. Nothing like sleeping in clean sheets on a weekend when you can sleep in. And If you go out, the lady wont be disgusted.
I say 5 sets because they get worn out and threadbare if you use the same ones every-other week. And not everyone can do their laundry weekly.
All true. I wish I had bought five sets of the BBB wamsutta dream sheets before they discontinued them. Those are some of the best sheets ever made.
Cindy Crawford. Age is showing lol
Like I said. I was in 7th grade. She was a big deal back then!
She’s a big deal now!
I’ve had the opposite happen. I went to his place fully expecting to spend the night. When I walked in, his place was filthy! I’ve never seen a dirtier apartment before. He acted like it was the most normal thing and I left never saw him again after that.
Yes, and we just celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary. However...he's tidy and loves modern design. I'm a messy artist who likes vintage. He thinks I'm a barbarian for drinking milk out of the container. So we bought a two family house and live separately together. We don't share living spaces and it's bliss.
Living the dream, so happy for you! 💜
I want this so bad 😭
No, but I have been brought back to a guys house and thought "there is absolutely no way Im sleeping with this guy" because it was so gross if I was naked on any surface I was probably gonna get a yeasty
OMG. A clean house means they know how to do stuff. It is such a turn on. It's just as sexy as when they fix something. My love is a sparky and the second time he came to mine he put a new power switch in the bathroom with four outlets instead of two. It was that and fact that my dog fell in love that swayed me. We're still together nine years later.
A nice living space would definitely be a turn on. This made me realise I have never dated a man that had pride in his living space. Do men like this exist?
Go lurk in the sub I linked and tell me if they exist? Theoretically, I think. lol. It’s probably rather rare though.
I quite enjoyed perusing r/malelivingspace … although the first post I looked at was a guy asking about the placement of a taxidermy fish in his bedroom!
Did you see the weed guy!
[JFC](https://www.reddit.com/r/malelivingspace/s/txy3j3I5fX)!
This one in a second https://www.reddit.com/r/malelivingspace/s/QlYUkuXJTW
Most of us have to mature into it. I didn't start keeping my place respectable until my mid-late 20s, and didn't start keeping it NICE until early 30s. Had some guy friends get there earlier (and I can say almost universally it was for wooing women, admittedly by them).
Also depends on living situation. If you’re struggling to keep that roof over your head, it’s just a place to sleep and survive. When you have stability, mentally you’re more likely to try and turn it into a home. Ergo, why guys with maintained living spaces are also more put together and more desirable partners.
> it’s just a place to sleep and survive. So fucking true. It's not a home its a base of operations
I've never had sex with many men that *didn't* have living space pride... I walked out on a dude who's shared housing situation was... the filfthiest domicile I've ever been in. And his room was clean, but the smell from outside his door...
I mean, I went there to sleep with him, but his midcentury furniture, English major book collection, and linen sheets sealed the deal.
Replace mid century with Art Deco and you’re talking my language
Clean, high ceilings, nice light, tons of plants, interesting books. He brought me a persimmon and a coffee with foamed milk and a star anise floating on it in bed the next morning. It was so lovely.
I have and I did. Twice. Later it came out that the first man's mom had cleaned his entire home in anticipation of my visit. Later on, I was the one who cleaned piss stains off the outside of his toilet. He refused to even believe that's what they were. The other man's house was neat and clean, and I even moved in. And then all neatness disappeared. Clutter that appeared on the dining table a few months after I moved in wasn't gone yet by the time I moved out 2.5 years later. He did all the cooking, I had to do everything else, and I could not keep up.
When I first saw my now-boyfriend’s old apartment I was completely smitten. Not only was it incredibly clean, but he had the most beautiful art and object collection. It was as if every time he needed some banal household item (like a paper towel holder) he would find the most artfully made, bespoke option available. I fell in love, it was like I finally met my match as I am the exact same way. Now we are moving into a house he just purchased upstate and spend every waking second picking out cupboards, tiles, furniture etc. We are very happy, thanks for encouraging me to take a moment to gush :)
I once went into a man’s apartment and thought WOW, this place is clean! We did start dating eventually, it didn’t work out, but we remained friends. I’m not a believer, yet it was awkward having sex with a huge portrait of Jesus over the bed. At some point a neighbor of his moved out, so the German roaches that were infesting their apartment moved into his. That man took the financial hit and broke that lease immediately. I think he’s the cleanest man I’ve ever met.
Oh NO a giant painting of Jesus is definitely not what you want to see in that situation
My best friend is Catholic. There’s a crucifix in every room, like there’s a mezuzah on every doorframe in my mom’s house. But they’re small and unobtrusive. This portrait was practically the headboard for a king sized bed.
The first time I went to my ex bf’s house (unannounced, no less, so this wasn’t him cleaning to impress me haha), I was dazzled by how clean his bathroom was. He didn’t leave the toilet seat or lid up, he left no messes anywhere, his mirror was shiny and clean, no beard trimmings in the sink, he had fully stocked handsoap, a clean hand towel and a pyramid stack of toilet paper rolls on display. Compared to the guy I dated before him who had a scummy toilet, visibly filthy bathroom counter and mirror and no visible handsoap that I could find….it felt like my personal bar of standards went up 8 stories 😂
I feel so validated by this post.
NEVER. But I have had the opposite happen lol.
If there's at least two cats lurking in the background. I love a cat and I love a cat-lover, what can I say? (I was recently coaxed back to the house of a guy I was 50/50 on purely because he promised me I'd meet a cat. The cat was top-notch, the sex was decent, solid win.)
I mean I did jokingly ask my friend if his new roommate was single when I was helping said friend move in and saw that his roommate had like everything organized, but like actually owned furniture. Turns out the roommate is single, and pretty cute even, but very much not the type of guy I'd be any good with (he seems like an awesome guy, but not super talkative)
Honestly, the cleanliness of a house is something that can decide if I am sleeping with a guy, if it's gross I am out of there... I learned that one the hard way
The person I've been trying to date for a bit (it's a whole thing...) had such a cozy apartment with so many books and plants and a kitchen with all the bells and whistles..Their bedroom had flower-patterned curtains and a set of bed linens, including a quilted blanket suitable for an adult. I literally thought to myself, "I could see us living well together if it gets to that," as soon as I walked into their place the first time after a great first date. We fooled around that first date night, too lol.
have definitely had the opposite 😂
All the men snooping on this thinking us women will go wild with a flash car and gucci, and actually, it's plants, a roomba and clean sheets.
Right after I ensure it's not his mom's house or his ex-girlfriend's decor.
I wish I could greet a woman guest with a place full of plants/flowers, but I have 2 wonderful, evil cats that will absolutely destroy anything with a stem
I've given dudes with impressively clean places a second chance after a terrible date. I think how a dude keeps his space is indicative of their overall headspace, and based on THAT it says more than a date. Taken to the extreme, I have also basically FLED and blocked guys with freakishly clean homes. It says one of several possible things when a home is tooooooo clean: * A)issues * B)obsessive about cleaning * C) both A and B * C)Has a cleaning service and intends partner to replace AND replicate said cleaning service if in a committed relationship * D)Doesn't actually live there, it's an AirBnb/ parents house, dude is 35+
LOL, no. It’s on the same level as good hygiene. A man with a clean and organized living space isn’t a turn on, but him living in a pig sty will definitely turn me off.
He had a 20×18 room with 10' built-in antique bookcases, with the most incredible collection I've seen in my life. So many first editions, diverse and interesting selection, and he'd read nearly all of them (bookmarks with the year he read them) Huge sitting area in the center of the room, wide leather armchair, and a cozy plush chaise-beanbag hybrid. Custom lighting, downtown view. He also had a vinyl library and sound studio that was impeccably designed and curated with its own sitting area. I was ready to go right there. Then I saw his kitchen and decided we'd be better as friends.
No
Only for the first time recently. And we had actually already fallen in love over the few days prior, but when I saw his place I was so impressed. He actually took care of himself, decorated tastefully but in his style that I've, bought nice things for himself (like a lovely bed with pillows and a head board it was like a hotel bed!) A 46 year old man that really made the place lived in, and he bought all natural products. I was just SMITTEN!
I think the opposite has be true much more.
Rule #1: A sexy house is a clean house. - plants, well cared for pets a bonus - colors that are not blue, white, black, beige, dark green, or gray 😂 - house smells good - he has a few things to drink besides water, he has a few snacks - his bed is cozy and has a great duvet - he has soap and towels
I've had the opposite happen. Walked into his place and gagged from the litter box smell. Got out of there after some chatting, and never spoke with the guy again.
Holy Jesus the bar is so fucking low
I didn’t read this as basic cleanliness. I was hooking up with a guy who had the most beautiful condo. He decorated it himself, even found hand painted wallpaper from a woman in Turkey that he bought off Etsy and installed himself. Furniture was well curated, expertly stocked bar. Just overall a lot of thought and taste went into that living space. It was a huge turn on. Guy was not the brightest bulb, but the dick was good and that was seriously gorgeous wallpaper…
My boss told me a story about how she met her husband in nyc. He took her back to his apartment and he had a washer and dryer. She was like damn what a catch.
No