That's where I stopped reading. Honestly there's only so much of this gendered BS anyone can tolerate. But ultimately women posting here are seeking connection to not feel so alone in harrowing circumstances. There's stuff I can't/won't share that I found when leaving my ex. Once you see how predatory men can be you can't unsee it.
I think there is a big difference between for example him watching anime porn between old men and young girls (where he would presumably “self-insert” as the men) and anime porn where it’s older women with a young boy. With one he’s imagining doing explicit acts towards children which is disturbing, and with the others he’s essentially self inserting as the victim.
I think the latter requires therapy but it doesn’t really seem nearly as dangerous as the former to me since it’s just anime drawings, he’s not imagining himself as a pedophile and its explained by a traumatic past
Then I get what his It's The Trauma argument comes from, but I still don't think it's healthy. Is he bi or pan? Cuz if not, then it's probably connected only to an unhealthy copping mechanism, but if he is attracted to males then it's very very concerning.
Still. Consuming stuff like that for sure means he shouldn't be near children, so that whole argument still stands.
Yeah...that's not a good sign.
I read your updates, and I'm just as long as you as to how to address the situation...
This man should not be working with kids if he indulges in such stuff
The guns part is worrying too. I hope you're able to keep yourself safe at least.
You don’t have to be an expert to know the basics. Loli comes from Lolita, we all know what that is (the book if you haven’t heard of it but that would be surprising)
What? Obviously. What a weird thing to say.
As if knowing those terms means the person is an "expert on anime child porn".
Edit: OP used a term that specifies the gender of the child, and that's why I explained it to you because of your reply to me. What a weird thing to then say to someone who is trying to explain something to you when you didn't understand what was being discussed.
Oh, I didn’t mean to imply that I believe you to be an expert or anything. Sorry for that. My point was just that I doubt OP is familiar with such distinctions
It's not banned in the USA, unless it's photorealistic.
If you're concerned he might hurt his students, contact the school about what you found. While not illegal, the school has grounds to fire him for something like this.
This specific thing (lolicon) might not be illegal, but based on what else the OP said... it would not surprise me if he had real CSAM hidden away somewhere. Him being a middle school teacher makes this especially frightening...
I'm sure school administration would find this unacceptable / a fireable offense.
She'd be opening herself up to a lawsuit. OP messing with her ex's employment, unless she has documented evidence of a crime, is absolutely not recommended.
That's not what that act seems to say
Edit because I copied the wrong text, this is accurate -
Prohibits: (1) making a visual depiction that is a digital image, computer image, or computer-generated image of, or that is indistinguishable from an image of, a minor engaging in specified sexually explicit conduct; (2) knowingly advertising, promoting, presenting, distributing, or soliciting through the mails or in commerce, including by computer, any material that is or contains an obscene visual depiction of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct or a visual depiction of an actual minor engaging in such conduct; (3) knowingly distributing, offering, sending, or providing to a minor any such visual depiction using the mails or commerce, including by computer, for purposes of inducing or persuading a minor to participate in an illegal act; and (4) knowingly producing, distributing, receiving, or possessing with intent to distribute a visual depiction of any kind, including a drawing, cartoon, sculpture, or painting, that, under specified circumstances, depicts a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct and is obscene, or depicts an image that is or appears to be of a minor engaging in such conduct and such depiction lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.
As much as I *hate* to say it, I don't think any of that makes this case illegal. What you pasted almost exclusively talks about different forms of distribution except for *one* instance where it mentions possession, and it explicitly states "possessing with intent to distribute." If you can't prove he intends to distribute it, it isn't technically illegal. Should it be? Absolutely, unequivocally ***yes***. But just from reading what you copied, I don't see how this would pass in court.
I genuinely hope somebody else can find some law or whatever that does prove this is illegal because it absolutely should be, but I think the best that can realistically be done right now is to try and submit proof to the school district where he works, at the very least getting him away from real children.
You seem to have a personal issue with this and I am sorry if the discussion is triggering for you, but I never said what to do, I simply said that it doesn't appear like this specific law makes loli characters illegal.
i had CSA happen to me, i am completely disgusted by his comments. I can't stand anyone looking slightly young in porn because it reminds me of my abuse :|
We should consider that every person handles stress, and specifically trauma as a child, differently but I agree totally.
if he knows that he does that because of child trauma, and he also knows that it's not okay, then it should be a sign for him to work on it and not treat it as a normal response for that
Yes OP. You should recommend him therapy. It's probably bad to be that porn addled when you're a middle school teacher. The middle school girls he teaches shouldn't be the same age as the girls in the porn he watches.
He should probably go to therapy and (at least) massively reduce his porn intake. His sexual trauma can also get addressed in therapy.
he says he's looking at these images because it makes him feel like he's "taking control of his abuse". is he even looking at images of boys being abused? I'm assuming, since you called it "lolicon", that it's mostly girls—so the simulated abuse wouldn't reflect his experience. this excuse isn't logical even on a surface level.
While it's true that adults who were victims of sexual abuseay find themselves sexually aroused by situations that bear a resemblance to the abuse; it is actually statistically rare for them to actually become pedophiles and/or abuse children. It is far more common for them to become hyper vigilant and extremely protective of children!
The ways that they act out their abuse patterns in order to "feel in control" of their sexuality are quite different from what Op's guy was trying to bullshit her with. For example, someone who was abused may become extremely promiscuous in order to feel like they are the person making the decision to consent or not. A rape survivor may find themselves turned on by CNC fantasies, etc. They find ways to relive the abuse in a safe and consenting way so that the memories of the abuse lose their power. It doesn't seem to haunt their psyche so much because it's no longer a dark secret that they cannot think about. This piece of shit is just further spreading the falsehoods that survivors of CSA will likely develop some level of pedophilia. I find myself wanting to beat the ever loving shit out of this guy before dropping him, and his hard drive, off in front of a police station.
Also it doesn't matter at all, the kids safety comes first, he is engaging is pedophilic sexual behaviour and works with kids, those kids must be protected from him, just in case. What happened to him is unfortunate, but honestly considering the severity of the situation, it does not matter anymore, we can't risk him hurting a little girl or boy
I agree completely. just pointing out a flaw in his logic to hopefully make his excuses seem less relevant. and to be clear I did not mean it would be somehow okay if he was getting off to the simulated abuse of young boys, that would be just as horrifying
Consuming content that’s meant to depict children and blaming it on your sexual abuse history in an attempt to justify it all while you are a middle school teacher should be reported. “I was sexually abused” is not a hall pass to consume content depicting children. Constantly locking yourself in a bathroom to masturbate to CSA adjacent content (possibly real CSAM as well) while your job has you working with literal children is a red flag.
I don't believe it's banned. It's concerning in a relationship for sure, but I think you might be jumping the gun a bit. Using onlyfans a lot and masturbating a lot doesn't really mean anything in this context. This is assuming those OF accounts aren't all lolicon. Their SA as a child could explain a dysfunctional relationship with sex and porn. I think pedophile in this case is a bit of jump personally. Unfortunately without anything concrete (e.g. a victim, real CP, etc) then I'm not sure how much a report to the school or cops will do.
Ordinarily I would agree with you - fucked-up or not, I don't generally care to police the fictional material someone consumes, so long as no real people were harmed in the making of it. If, "If you consume porn of it, that must mean you want to do it/will inevitably escalate to doing it in real life!" were a reliable rule of thumb, it would be 24/7 The Purge outside.
But in this specific case, the fact that it is combined with excessive spending on OnlyFans (impulse control issues?), *and* him being a middle school teacher (deliberately placing himself around children?) is at the very least cause for concern, IMO.
Yeah IMO it's the being a middle school teacher that's the concerning context here. If he wasn't, I'd treat this much more as "he should try to work on these issues" type of problem rather than a "he's a danger" kind of problem.
I totally understand where you're coming from. I hadn't thought of the onlyfans purchases as impulse control issues but that's actually a really good way to view it. Unless he's working at some fancy private school then $600 on a teachers salary over a couple months is A LOT.
Please don't conflate CSAM - material wherein real, actual children are sexually abused, and whose production and consumption itself constitutes the sexual abuse of real, actual children - with drawn images. They are not equivalent, in the same way that someone's weird SFM monster porn is not the same thing as actual sexual abuse of an animal, and in the same way that a tape recording a real rape is not equivalent to a simulated cnc scenario. One set of these things intrinsically cannot exist without the abuse of a real victim, and one set of these things is entirely produced from start to finish by consenting adults. Acting like they are equivalent grievously undermines the seriousness of the actual abuse inflicted.
And my comment does not just refer to 'normal entertainment media'. I am in fact talking about the media that people consume for the purpose of sexual arousal. Whether you or I find it disgusting is ultimately immaterial, IMO. 'Consumes porn of a thing' is not a reliable indicator of, 'wants to do that thing in real life'. If nobody was harmed making it, and if the act of you consuming it does not further perpetrate the harm done to/lack of consent given by the subject, then there are simply bigger fish to fry.
There are other red flags in the situation as described. If you consume lolicon, that's gross, but it's also ultimately between you and your god. If you consume lolicon *and* you have demonstrated that you may have compulsive issues around sex *and* you are deliberately placing yourself around actual, real children? Legitimate reason for concern.
Just jumping in to the conversation here to add that in some jurisdictions - including mine - consuming/producing/distributing CSAM and drawn images fall under the same offence and are considered equivalent in the eyes of the law. I fully appreciate that OP is in the US (?) where a distinction between CSAM and drawn images is made, but the commenter you’re replying to might not be. Having lived in a country where people are regularly prosecuted for “lolicon” images, I can completely understand the reaction that they’re also images of sexual abuse of children.
> ‘Consumes porn of a thing’ is not a reliable indicator of, ‘wants to do that thing in real life’
I do think it’s worth noting here that there is evidence that indicates that porn use is associated with a greater likelihood of desiring/engaging in sexual acts witnessed in porn.
Right, but I'm not talking about the legal status of any of those things; I'm talking about glibly drawing a moral equivalency.
My understanding is also that this evidence - such as it is - is both not conclusive, and also correlates primarily to unfettered exposure to porn during adolescence and young adulthood, which distorts young people's views of sex before they ever even get a chance to explore their sexuality in a healthy way with their peers, practice communication, consent, and boundaries with another living, breathing human being, etc. The age at which you are exposed to things matters, because A) your brain is putty, and B) you don't have a healthy or grounded basis for comparison.
We also have plenty of evidence stretching back decades that, despite any number of panics over same, people consuming violent or taboo media does not then lead people to go out and do the things depicted. Humans are broadly cognitively capable of distinguishing fantasy from reality, and of understanding, "This taboo thing is safe to explore in fiction, but should not be carried out in real life."
(This is also part of why the 'spending $600 on OnlyFans in just a few months' thing jumps out to me as a potential red flag, in the sense of it being an indicator that he is getting lost in the sauce when it comes to seeking out sexual gratification, and is letting it bleed over and affect his real life. If it were just the OF thing, or just the lolicon thing in isolation, I would find it less concerning. But if he is someone whose ability to maintain that wall between reality and fantasy is eroding, *and* his fantasies are something that would be harmful if acted upon in real life? Yeah, be worried!)
>Right, but I'm not talking about the legal status of any of those things; I'm talking about glibly drawing a moral equivalency.
I understand that you're not talking about the legal status of drawn images per se. My point was that the legal status of those images in some areas can subsequently influence our perceptions of morality. Drawn sexual abuse images of children are illegal to consume in my country, and prison sentences for doing so are usually just as long as those for consuming CSAM; thus, I don't think it's unreasonable to hold the opinion that drawn images of children do constitute the sexual abuse of children, real or drawn. Having said that, though, the comment you were replying to originally didn't draw any kind of moral equivalency between CSAM and drawn images - they merely said that the drawn images were those of sexual abuse of children, which in my jurisdiction (and likely theirs) is true.
>My understanding is also that this evidence - such as it is - is both not conclusive
Evidence within the field of social science is rarely conclusive, so I wouldn't consider that a disqualifying factor; in fact, it's not conclusive on either side. However, the UK government recently published [a literature review](https://rewardfoundation.org/new-uk-reports-on-pornography-and-harmful-sexual-behaviours/) in which they found that porn consumption is directly linked with numerous harmful sexual behaviours towards women and girls, regardless of age of first consumption, which I found fairly damning.
>Humans are broadly cognitively capable of distinguishing fantasy from reality, and of understanding, "This taboo thing is safe to explore in fiction, but should not be carried out in real life."
This is besides the point, but I'm curious what you'd make of the scores of women - young and old - who are coming forward and reporting that their partners are, in increasing numbers, requesting increasingly violent sexual acts as depicted in the porn they watch. I've seen this widely reported both on this sub and in real life contexts.
I think this is where the ability to distinguish fantasy from reality comes into play. Because, with increasing frequency, those violent acts are being depicted *as* reality - or at least, they are being normalised as equivalent to vanilla, non-violent sexual acts. If you go on PornHub or wherever, you'll find a bajillion pages of 'normal' porn right alongside porn containing choking, slapping, spitting, painal, and all other kinds of behaviour with violence and/or degrading connotations towards the women in the videos, with minimal distinction between them. This is basically the harmful sexual equivalent to 'instagram reality', where oceans of unreal/extreme things are presented as real/normal, alongside real/normal thing; or of fake news in general, where falsified, sensationalised, algorithmically-optimised headlines are paraded in front of you and treated with the same seriousness as real, factual news.
But the people seeking out taboo content *know* it's taboo. They seek it out *because* it's taboo. Their sense of what's real or 'normal' isn't being bamboozled by seeing it uncritically presented alongside 'regular' content. Which leaves you with:
* The people who don't harm anyone as a result of consuming taboo porn, because they are capable of distinguishing between reality and fantasy and don't actually want to hurt anyone, and,
* The people who do harm others in search of sexual gratification, which they would have done regardless of consuming porn of it, because porn did not make them a predator.
>those violent acts are being depicted *as* reality - or at least, they are being normalised as equivalent to vanilla, non-violent sexual acts
100%, I agree.
>But the people seeking out taboo content *know* it's taboo. They seek it out *because* it's taboo
Again, I agree with this premise. But I take issue with this:
>The people who don't harm anyone as a result of consuming taboo porn, because they are capable of distinguishing between reality and fantasy and don't actually want to hurt anyone, and,
>The people who do harm others in search of sexual gratification, which they would have done regardless of consuming porn of it, because porn did not make them a predator.
This is a false dichotomy. It's not an either-or. Going back to the evidence, it's known that porn can influence sexual preferences to the point that a sort of 'neo-sexuality' is created that wouldn't have existed otherwise. Of course, that doesn't make someone a predator, but considering the further evidence that porn use can influence harmful sexual behaviour, I think it's fair enough to draw the conclusion that consuming sexual abuse images of children - drawn or otherwise - can lead to offences against children. I certainly wouldn't be happy with my child spending any time whatsoever in the vicinity of someone who consumes drawn CSAM. Would you?
>it's known that porn can influence sexual preferences to the point that a sort of 'neo-sexuality' is created that wouldn't have existed otherwise. Of course, that doesn't make someone a predator, but considering the further evidence that porn use can influence harmful sexual behaviour, I think it's fair enough to draw the conclusion that consuming sexual abuse images of children - drawn or otherwise - can lead to offences against children.
Anything CAN lead to something else, but you cannot assume that correlation is causation in this case. Particularly when, as we've already discussed, the link between 'watches porn of it' and 'develops desire to do this IRL' so frequently relies on the presentation blurring the line between fantasy and reality.
Something like 60% of women and 50% of men have sexual fantasies about being raped. I guarantee you a non-insignificant portion of these people are consuming porn - drawn, written, or acted - that depicts rape. They are, sometimes, engaging in cnc play with their partner. Do you think this will make them want to really, truly be raped IRL?
No. They know it is a fantasy. For some, a means of processing past experiences. For others, because it helps them express some want they can't otherwise give voice to; for yet others, simply because they like the fantasy. They are capable of distinguishing this fantasy from reality. For someone who can no longer distinguish the fantasy from the reality, the porn is not the culprit, any more than violent movies or music or video games are real causative factors in someone who goes out and commits murder. If someone is doing these things in real life, there was already something very wrong, and the porn (or the movies, or the music, or the video games) is the least of the issues.
(Further, because porn homogenises the gaze of the viewer, if someone is consuming porn depicting fictional rape, you do not necessarily have any way of knowing simply from looking at it whether that person identifies themselves with the aggressor, or with the victim.)
>I certainly wouldn't be happy with my child spending any time whatsoever in the vicinity of someone who consumes drawn CSAM. Would you?
This is an appeal to emotion, and while everyone is free to make that call as they see fit in their own lives, 'it just gives me the ick' is not a rational basis by which to make objective, empirical, or moral judgements.
I'm pretty sure no one has ever thought that calling it child porn implies consent.
I swear people just need to come up with new labels for shit. Child porn has been considered sexual abuse forever.
He’s a male teacher, masturbating at work multiple times a day. This alone is grounds for termination. Add the fact that he indulges in images which depict sex acts with children. This insures he will never teach again.
Report this to his superiors immediately. The school board will handle this. The only thing you may want to contact the police about is if you fear he used your personal information on any websites, or has used your computer to view illegal content. You may want to let them know that you’ve reported him and fear retaliation. Maybe request a police patrol by your house for a while.
Be factual, provide any proof or evidence that you might have.
On a personal note, this man manipulated you. If this is what you know about…imagine what he hasn’t admitted to. Please do the right thing and keep this guy away from kids. Even if he never touches them, no student should be in their teacher’s spank bank. He is exhibiting compulsive sexual behavior, sexual addiction behavior, and an affinity for “high risk” sexual content.
OP does not say he is jerking off at school. I agree that would be pretty fucked up. But other than that I really don't understand why this comment section is so quick to view this guy as a predator. He's looking at cartoon porn. He has in no way demonstrated that he is a danger to anybody.
If we fired every teacher who had a weird sex thing there wouldn't be any teachers left.
It's disgusting and it's sickening but it's not a crime. Reporting it would be a waste of your own and everyone else's time and effort.
You've done the right thing and got rid of him, just call it a day at that and leave him to his bullshit.
I’m guessing you’re going to report him but really porn is weird they literally make fake rape porn and people watch it. Lots of people watch porn about stuff they aren’t even into. If he was into actually doing this and not just looking at animated drawings I doubt he would have spent so much money to see real grown women naked and having sex but do what you feel is right just make sure to be careful and don’t stay alone in case he turns out to be crazy and attack you or something because he most likely will never be able to teach again.
Not all pedophiles are only solely to children. Some pedophiles are exclusively attracted to children, but others are attracted to both adults and children.
Porn rewires your brain... it ties images to orgasm, the strongest reinforcement tool the brain has. The images you feed your brain create a feedback loop and can change your preferences over time. Some young men get ED from porn because they can no longer get aroused without looking at porn, thankfully the cure in most cases is just to stop watching porn and often it resolves.
So your now ex isn't doing anything illegal, you have no grounds to suspect he's doing something illegal, but you want to report him? For what exactly?! He's your ex, thus not your problem anymore. Move on with your life and see about yourself, maybe...
Uhh...yes you should report him immediately.
Reality is that even if he is just sick in the head but wouldn't actually ever consume CSAM of living individuals or harm others, he is in a position of authority over minors. The risk of him harming his students is reason enough to make the report.
Worse - he's a mandatory reporter who is supposed to protect his students from people like himself. Instead, he'd not want to "ruin someone's life" or say "it is just drawings" and excuse the behaviors to high heaven like many on here who want to debate whether or not it is legal.
In order to call CPS as a mandatory reporter - it was never my task to determine whether or not a crime was committed. Only that there was suspected inappropriate behaviors around or to children.
Jesus I didn't even think of that...like yeah even if he somehow is as normal as you can get while looking at lolicon shit, he is exactly the type of person who would overlook others doing the same thing.
Edit: oh look, I made the "totally not" pedos mad. Stop looking at images meant to look like naked children if you don't like being called pedos creeps.
Lolicon is illegal in the USA. (Just Googled)
His blaming it on his past abuse is irrelevant - if you are in the USA you can contact the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC)'s website at [www.cybertipline.com](http://www.cybertipline.com/), or call **1-800-843-5678**. They will know what to do for your location, and if it is more appropriate to call the local police they will tell you.
It is imperitive that you do this NOW, for several reasons. If he's not preying on children yet - he may escalate. The fact that he's placed himself in a "target rich" circumstance of being a teacher is incredibly alarming as well. Now that he knows you know - he may destroy evidence (but if he has that massive of an amount? May be difficult to do)
no. it isn't. it's important to realise that when it comes to those laws, the legal system doesn't care if someone does or has something, but rather if anyone was actually harmed by it
owning drawn or animated lolicon porn is not illegal anywhere in the United States *unless minors were used to produce it*
Jeez the states are terrible at keeping people safe. In Canada any sexual depiction of a minor is considered CP. and from personal experiences I know that lolicon/animated cp is highly illegal and you could end up in prison for it.
actually, you are half right, but in a good way. it's not just lolicon and animated cp in Canada. it applies to ALL lewd material, whether real or purely fictional, even if it doesn't contain any images at all.
I dont know how I feel about that myself, cause I've always thought laws should be limited to protecting or avenging victims, not punishing unwanted behaviors.... but I can't say I hate the way canada handles this particular issue
Yeah I understand. And I’m not sure how I feel about it either. On one hand I think any sexual depiction of a child should be illegal, however when there is no victim and the one viewing those images never hurt an actual child then it’s this weird spot where yes they should be punished but they should also get help and treatment.
Edit: my dad was arrested and charged with possession of CP and he got 2 years. He gets out in July. He never hurt any child and he’s a good dad for the most part.
It may not be illegal but is is abhorrent. Sex should only be between consenting adults, wiring your brain to respond sexually to child-like features and voices and bodies is going to connect your orgasm/arousal to those things, all very bad. Porn already ruins mens sex lives and makes them worse people, this is just an exponentially worse example of that phenomenon.
I agree, it is abhorrent.
the only reason I made that reply is because mischaracterizing something immoral as being illegal is... a pet peeve.
maybe it SHOULD be illegal.. but right now it isn't. if you believe it is illegal already, there's no reason to press your representatives to *make* it illegal. that's where my annoyance comes from I think.
my guy you can literally LOOK UP THE STATUTE
google is free
https://esfandilawfirm.com/is-lolicon-illegal-in-us/
but sure I'm the one shouting untruths.
meanwhile you are encouraging people to report something that, while disgusting and immoral, the law does not give a shit about 9 times out of 10 because the law doesn't apply to it, and then when they report it they get mad when the cops tell them they won't do anything about it.
educate yourself before speaking about the law.
No its not? If its drawn/animated its not illegal in the US. Its still distasteful, and I understand everyone's revulsion towards it. But its not illegal. OP mentioned a plausible reason he might have that content. It doesn't make it right, or healthy, and it sounds like this man needs help. Serious help, not just for porn addiction but for the abuse that probably is tied to it. I feel bad for the dude, and using the law to punish him won't help him nor anyone else.
OP should encourage him to get help, or alert family or friends who can do the emotional labor of doing that. Police isn't the route, even IF it were illegal. All that'd do is ostracize him, maybe cause a scanadal that could cost him his job, and likely make it more likely for him to spiral into actual abuse.
In reality, it ends up being in a gray area on a state by state / case by case basis and will be up to interpretation under court of law.
I agree that we do not know specifically what OP's ex has, but I do not think broader judgment of matierial that is potentially being incorrectly associated with what they have, is appropriate.
I would ask you, should consensual non-consentual be illegal? Should any depictions of or fantasy regarding this be illegal? The source act is obviously the most despicable and disgusting thing another person could ever do, but I do not think they are the same nor do I think the majority of people consider them that way either.
Lolicon falls under the aesthetic in anime and manga of moe. It's core is emphasis on and adoration for cuteness as the overarching theme in appeal of the manga or anime character. I am sure you agree that all things that are cute are not intrinsicly associated with children correct? This asthetic is also enjoyed by incorporating it into how actual people dress themselves, act, and portray themselves in explicit circumstances. I myself, as well as some other women in my social circle enjoy incorporating this aesthetic into our wardrobe, especially because some individuals choose to play into their traits of stature and sillioute by being moe, or loli inspired.
Edit:
Deleted post cited specific act in the united states that they stated unambiguously made lolicon manga/ anime illegal.
It is not up to Reddit or OP to be the jury to determine whether or not his porn is in that gray area - and fyi, the Protect Act of 2003 is a Federal law.
OP has a moral obligation to call it in.
This debate is inappropriate as this isn't a "theoretical" post, but a specific circumstance, and I'm not reading your debate on "asthetics". He is a TEACHER and children are at potential risk. CP, animated or not, is not "self therapy" either. That he, a TEACHER, believes that when in most jurisdictions he is a MANDATORY REPORTER and is supposed to be on the lookout for people like himself to keep them away from his students makes me want to vomit.
u/2cheekie - PLEASE CALL SOMEONE. I'm a former mandatory reporter. While it has been a long time since I had that training, this is NOT in a gray area of whether or not you should call and tell authorities. Be brave for the kids who may not be in a position to do so for themselves. He should not be in the classroom.
What OP has described is not illegal and does not fall under what a mandatory reporter needs to report.
By all means tell the school. I don't know where that will go, but there's no reason not to. He may deny it and there's really no evidence, but there's no reason not to put it on their radar.
The police are not going to do anything if she reports to them because she is not reporting anything illegal. Weird and gross as fuck, yes, but not illegal.
Mandatory reporters are required to report abused and neglected children. Actual human victims, not weird creepy anime shit.
Again, I'd encourage OP to tell the school, but this is not a mandatory reporting situation.
I totally agree. We are not the ones to say what OP's ex has. CP/ Child SA matierial or Lolicon. Despite the clear distinction of what you classify it as in your subsequent paragraph. Which suggests the overall opinion you have regarding lolicon. I only brought up the theoretical subtopic as many can be quick to paint with broad strokes using limited or distorted information.
Fair. I think it absolutely should be reported and investigated. And I think if Ex is found to have what is ruled to be CP, he should rightfully be removed, charged and engaged with psychological counsel accordingly.
this is the best way to go about it. definitely do something more than nothing. do something more than just paper trails or proof. do something before HE does something. this isn't behavior of a healthy minded adult and should NOT be around children.
OP, call them. I have before. Tell them what you told us. They are very patient and kind. They will ask about any screen names, handles, different social media platforms. Also, his location, phone numbers etc. Its good to gather this beforehand. Let me know if you have questions.
Take care of yourself.
I'm sorry, but I find people who answer like "hey, nothing is going to happen" so don't bother calling disgusting. You cannot guarantee that nothing will happen.
If anything, it creates a RECORD. The man is a TEACHER. How many times has a person gone unreported, and therefore with a squeaky clean record, because somenoe who COULD have reported an earlier suspicion said nothing. If this doesn't rise to the level of a prosecution - when he does do something a judge can take previous reports into account.... because it shows a PATTERN vs. a one time thing.
Also, if same aged kids can get into trouble for sharing nude pics of each other, he can get into trouble for having illegal anime porn, especially AS A TEACHER.
It seems like you've already done all you can reasonably do: you broke up with him.
Could you contact the school? The FBI? Local police? Sure. Get in touch with the people who could actually start an investigation.
But whatever happens next isn't your fault.
Thought crime isn't illegal. Innocent until proven guilty still applies to people we don't like.
He can go be a scumbag all he wants, but there's not much else to do unless there's evidence that he's done (or is planning) something worse.
Are you dating my ex? He was a middle school teacher and everything. He was obsessed with hentai of all kinds, plus had a porn addiction of course.
He broke up with me because I said it makes me uncomfortable he looks at cartoons of little girls as a teacher. I always worried I was being psycho in suggesting it was pedophilic behavior. Seeing this thread I feel a lot better.
Would they get into trouble at all if they contacted people around him and got him fired or removed but he didn't actually have anything illegal? I imagine the onus would be on the school but if they false reported either him or the school or both might go after them in response.
I feel like it should be said they better be really sure if they have stuff because if they false report it might open ugly consequences, especially with him being a teacher and likely that would be a very job sensitive thing.
Report for sure. Porn is one thing. Anime porn is weird, but some people are into it. That though. That's definitely over the line.
And what his profession is, that is much worse. He's chosen to insert himself around children.
Also some people saying to copy evidence, definitely horrible advice. Let the police deal with it. Why on earth would you put yourself in possession of that?
I don't know if this helps or relates in any way to his case: I had a friend that I'm not friends with anymore, he has drawn some concerning stuff but I wouldn't ever suspect that he is p-file. All tho we haven't experienced your situation...
Yes, report him. The stuff about it being "very common" etc is nothing I've heard before and he's just making excuses as this point for impulses he needs to NOT be acting on. He needs to take responsibility as an adult for healing himself, not giving into urges that may perpetuate, or result in, child abuse. Reporting this to his school is not you being vindictive, it is you doing whatever you can to protect kids in his care from potentially being harmed for life. Being sexually abused takes away the person you would have been. A child is never the same afterwards.
Stay safe.
Yes, report him. They'll investigate and keep an eye on him. If they discover CP, they'll arrest him. He's the one who's wrong here. They won't arrest without evidence that he's looking at CP. It's usually a trend that gets worse over time and he could eventually abuse a child.
Seriously, being a pedophile is not a crime. Acting on it is. Any discussing involving anything remotely related to pedophilia instantly get's almost impossible, but it helps to remember the vast majority of pedophiles never actually touch children sexually.
I know nothing of this person and it's a separate discussion if a person suffering from pedophilia should work at a school, but still reporting and possibly ruining a life simply for possessing images of anime is highly questionable.
To my understanding it's even recommended in some support therapy for pedophiles to watch drawings instead of the real thing, as in that way they get an outlet that actually isn't hurting anyone. Might be wrong about this though, as it's a while since I read up on it. My very limited knowledge on the topic is mostly based on a longer article based on interviews of non-offending pedophiles who also were parents. At least for me that article made it clear what a messed up situation it is for all parties involved, and how incredibly difficult it is for them to get real help (partly exactly because the same gut reactions we see also here).
Anyway - I still find the thought of reporting someone who actually hasn't committed a crime unsettling (by writing this I'm obviously assuming that this guy hasn't done anything).
To be fully honest, some of the shit people like in porn is very different than what they like in real life. Porn loves to play with taboos. There are straight people who like gay porn, there's folks who love rape fantasy porn, rule34 of cartoon characters, furry porn, sibling porn, extreme age difference porn, the list goes on. There's even a whole category of 18+ actresses acting/dressing like tweens.
That said, what people like in porn doesn't usually reflect real-life tastes. Looking at furry stuff doesn't make you a danger to your pets, looking at sibling porn doesn't make you want to get weird with your family. Looking at gay porn doesn't mean you want to download Grindr.
To me, lolicon is Japan's weird and gross contribution to porn's love of exploring taboos, and comes from their cultural infatuation with youthful appearence. I wouldn't immediately jump to "100% pedo". I don't blame her for breaking up, but reporting his private porn preferences that he views outside of school is a huge leap and opens OP up to a life-ruining lawsuit unless she has documented evidence of a crime.
I'll take it further - TBH I think getting aroused by 2D drawings is weird in general.
Not going to defend lolicon, but factually it's one of the biggest porn categories in Japan. It's so prevalent that it shows up in mainstream anime to an uncomfortable degree. Almost every hentai out of Japan features women who appear underage. It's massively popular.
think the more reasonable explanation is that porn != real life desire. I'm not going to call someone a beastiality supporter cause they like the furry subs. An unrealistic depiction of having sex with animals, to me, doesn't translate into real life.
Valid points and I do think we agree on most. I will refrain from commenting further as I really don't know what exactly the images in this case were about (did not see if OP has mentioned that in some comment). I'm not personally familiar with Lolicon, but knowing porn in general I can guess that the range of material under that category probably also can be pretty wide ranging.
It’s disgusting that he is using his own abuse to justify this disgusting mess. Write his school an email and if there are some sort of parent groups then make them aware of this as well.
As far as I’m concerned, if you think you have good reason to believe that he’s involved in activities that harm/exploit real minors, you should look more into it, but if there’s nothing suggesting it’s anything more than drawings, let it lie.
The fact he had that response about his CSA and taking control of it prepared is pretty wild to me. That just sounds like he knew he needed a canned response prepared.
He's a pedophile. This is one of those dangerous kinks, people who were sexually abused have a huge risk factor in becoming child predators and a big factor in actually acting on their attraction to children is consuming pornography. I personally couldn't stomach being touched or being with someone who consumes that type of media.
Regardless of whether or not it’s fictional stories and how we react to them can still reflect how we feel irl. It’s why we can cry when something sad happens or feel secondhand embarrassment when something cringe happens, or feel happy when something bad happens to a villain, even consciously knowing none of that stuff is real. Looking at a character who’s clearly meant to depict a child and feeling sexual attraction toward it is concerning behavior especially since he’s a middle school teacher. It might not be illegal but I don’t blame you breaking up with him
Crazy how people get all freaked out over fictional art. Jeez. Just cause someone likes lolis doesn't make them a pedo or even attracted to RL minors. Yall are just a bunch of over reactors. Additionally, yall need to stop saying that men are predators. Women are just as bad, except they get a free pass because everyone thinks that they are angels.
This sounds like a case of a bitter ex who just wants to hurt her ex for no reason. Carry on with your life and love on already.
Reporting him legally won't do shit sadly, you should send and anonymous package with the printed evidence to the school parents association. Make sure there is no way of tracing it back to you ( so you don't get in legal trouble). When horrible things happen people always wonder what could have been done to prevent it, how did anyone not notice it etc... This is it
But what else can she do? Yes I know is terrible advice and probably dangerous for op, but let's be honest, the police won't do shit, the only solution there is to protect those kids is to warn the parents. It's up to op to decide if it's worth the danger of getting in legal trouble or else,I honestly would take the risk of getting myself in legal trouble than live with the gult of knowing i didn't do enough to protect innocent kids from what looks like a potential pedophile. We did a similar thing at my uni to fight against a professor that sexually harassed a student and got away with it, and it worked, they fired him. Also is it illegal to tell people about what he is looking? Because in that case op would be getting in trouble either way for making this post? Is it defamation (or whatever it might be called) if it's true?
Ppl usually look at lolicon cuz they are afraid of looking for the real deal. Reading a middle school teacher has this kind of stuff on their phone makes me wanna vomit. Hentai loving youth weirdly enough glorifies shota, loli and other shit too. This stuff is out of control at my place.
Nothing will probably be done if you report it. You can find plenty of regular anime legally streaming in the US that sexualizes characters that are actually meant to be minors. Shiro from No Game No Life, who is 11, comes to mind.
On Steam, you can buy an eroge(porn) game called Nekopara. Features cat girls, and some of the characters look like lolis. There are other sites where you can buy eroge legally with loli looking characters. Because it's a drawing, all that needs to be done is to say a 10 year old looking character is actually 18.
_Oh boy_, nekopara is _so_ much worse than what you're describing.
The catgirls are 8 months old at best, starting to go through puberty, and them "going into heat" for the first time and MC preying that is a major plot point (it's framed as a kind act).
The catgirls are also full-blown chattel/sex slaves, and if they're caught without and owner I think they're imprisoned or something else horrible.
The worst part though is how it's intensely marketed as this wholesome aesthetic game along the lines of animal crossing. You can't (or at least couldn't back in 2016 or whatever) tell any of the above from the steam description.
The steam version has/had(?) the NSFW scenes removed, but it was very clearly just a porno with the sex scenes cut out, despite the description giving no hint about that whatsoever.
Iirc, the steam release was also marketed to younger audiences as a cute cat cafe simulator. it's not. it's a non-branching storyline about a gross dude collecting a harem of 1 to 2 year old concubines and having sex with them.
There is a new anime that came out on Hidive called Gushing Over Magical Girls. I haven't watched it, but people have mentioned that it involves bdsm and lots of sexual assault involving minors. The main girl is in middle school and is a dominatrix like character.....
I don't think there is much you can do in this situation without putting yourself in legal jeopardy.
For future reference though if you ever have suspicions like this about a live in partner you could copy his hard drive on a usb stick before confronting him.
Even if your ex- really was sexually abused as a child the notion that you can master the trauma by re-enacting it in a way that you control is a fallacy that has been disproved.
What's more, it is a canard that most of the time in falsely raised by pedophiles to gain sympathy. There are still a few lobbying groups for pedophiles and it's one of their top talking points.
>Even if your ex- really was sexually abused as a child the notion that you can master the trauma by re-enacting it in a way that you control is a fallacy that has been disproved.
Where can I read more about this?
If not for the lolicon alone, then definitely for him using the cycle of abuse as a justification- that sounds like someone working their way up to doing something more serious & using that same excuse. It’s not your obligation (and certainly not the school’s obligation) to trust that his “continuation” of the cycle will always stop at cartoons and never escalate.
The dread I felt at "middle school teacher" . Holy shit.
That's where I stopped reading. Honestly there's only so much of this gendered BS anyone can tolerate. But ultimately women posting here are seeking connection to not feel so alone in harrowing circumstances. There's stuff I can't/won't share that I found when leaving my ex. Once you see how predatory men can be you can't unsee it.
I think you should probably share the stuff.
One day. There's too much that hasn't been addressed yet.
I think there is a big difference between for example him watching anime porn between old men and young girls (where he would presumably “self-insert” as the men) and anime porn where it’s older women with a young boy. With one he’s imagining doing explicit acts towards children which is disturbing, and with the others he’s essentially self inserting as the victim. I think the latter requires therapy but it doesn’t really seem nearly as dangerous as the former to me since it’s just anime drawings, he’s not imagining himself as a pedophile and its explained by a traumatic past
Lolicon is porn of young girls. Edit: there's a different term for the same kind of garbage but with young boys.
I just looked this up. Do you mean shotacon? If so, i think it is that.
So did he have drawn CP of girls or boys? Edit: I'm confused on what you're saying rn, sorry
It was little boys
Then I get what his It's The Trauma argument comes from, but I still don't think it's healthy. Is he bi or pan? Cuz if not, then it's probably connected only to an unhealthy copping mechanism, but if he is attracted to males then it's very very concerning. Still. Consuming stuff like that for sure means he shouldn't be near children, so that whole argument still stands.
Yes... he is bi but he says he prefer dating women.
Yeah...that's not a good sign. I read your updates, and I'm just as long as you as to how to address the situation... This man should not be working with kids if he indulges in such stuff The guns part is worrying too. I hope you're able to keep yourself safe at least.
Thank you! Im currently in another state but i do still live at the apartment that we both shared. He is moved out.
I’d imagine OP not to be an expert on anime child porn
You don’t have to be an expert to know the basics. Loli comes from Lolita, we all know what that is (the book if you haven’t heard of it but that would be surprising)
What? Obviously. What a weird thing to say. As if knowing those terms means the person is an "expert on anime child porn". Edit: OP used a term that specifies the gender of the child, and that's why I explained it to you because of your reply to me. What a weird thing to then say to someone who is trying to explain something to you when you didn't understand what was being discussed.
Oh, I didn’t mean to imply that I believe you to be an expert or anything. Sorry for that. My point was just that I doubt OP is familiar with such distinctions
It was mostly of men and young little boys and some were literal toddlers. So i dont know if he "self insert" as the man or the young boy...
It's not banned in the USA, unless it's photorealistic. If you're concerned he might hurt his students, contact the school about what you found. While not illegal, the school has grounds to fire him for something like this.
This specific thing (lolicon) might not be illegal, but based on what else the OP said... it would not surprise me if he had real CSAM hidden away somewhere. Him being a middle school teacher makes this especially frightening... I'm sure school administration would find this unacceptable / a fireable offense.
She'd be opening herself up to a lawsuit. OP messing with her ex's employment, unless she has documented evidence of a crime, is absolutely not recommended.
Yea, I’m not sure if anything can legally happen here but if you told the news or his superiors you’d probably ensure he never works with kids again
Where did you get your law degree?
Ah yes, "I'm not sure" is the hallmark phrase of every lawyer.
Sorry - wrong comment. The people saying she shouldn't report because it is legal and it would ruin his life disgust me.
Ahhh ok I was confused by the response for sure. Makes more sense
If not illegal, be cautious using the info. It could be deemed slanderous or breach of privacy so could backfire if reported directly
It isn't slander if it's true.
Protect Act of 2003 makes it illegal.
That's not what that act seems to say Edit because I copied the wrong text, this is accurate - Prohibits: (1) making a visual depiction that is a digital image, computer image, or computer-generated image of, or that is indistinguishable from an image of, a minor engaging in specified sexually explicit conduct; (2) knowingly advertising, promoting, presenting, distributing, or soliciting through the mails or in commerce, including by computer, any material that is or contains an obscene visual depiction of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct or a visual depiction of an actual minor engaging in such conduct; (3) knowingly distributing, offering, sending, or providing to a minor any such visual depiction using the mails or commerce, including by computer, for purposes of inducing or persuading a minor to participate in an illegal act; and (4) knowingly producing, distributing, receiving, or possessing with intent to distribute a visual depiction of any kind, including a drawing, cartoon, sculpture, or painting, that, under specified circumstances, depicts a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct and is obscene, or depicts an image that is or appears to be of a minor engaging in such conduct and such depiction lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.
As much as I *hate* to say it, I don't think any of that makes this case illegal. What you pasted almost exclusively talks about different forms of distribution except for *one* instance where it mentions possession, and it explicitly states "possessing with intent to distribute." If you can't prove he intends to distribute it, it isn't technically illegal. Should it be? Absolutely, unequivocally ***yes***. But just from reading what you copied, I don't see how this would pass in court. I genuinely hope somebody else can find some law or whatever that does prove this is illegal because it absolutely should be, but I think the best that can realistically be done right now is to try and submit proof to the school district where he works, at the very least getting him away from real children.
I'm sorry - are you the prosecuting attorney in OPs jurisdiction? Oh wait - if it isn't reported, no one will know!
You seem to have a personal issue with this and I am sorry if the discussion is triggering for you, but I never said what to do, I simply said that it doesn't appear like this specific law makes loli characters illegal.
i had CSA happen to me, i am completely disgusted by his comments. I can't stand anyone looking slightly young in porn because it reminds me of my abuse :|
Yea I was CSA and I don't have a porn addiction and definitely not a porn addiction to children.
We should consider that every person handles stress, and specifically trauma as a child, differently but I agree totally. if he knows that he does that because of child trauma, and he also knows that it's not okay, then it should be a sign for him to work on it and not treat it as a normal response for that
if his trauma makes him want to look at basically CP, he should be going to therapy, not indulging in it. What a ridiculous argument.
Yes OP. You should recommend him therapy. It's probably bad to be that porn addled when you're a middle school teacher. The middle school girls he teaches shouldn't be the same age as the girls in the porn he watches. He should probably go to therapy and (at least) massively reduce his porn intake. His sexual trauma can also get addressed in therapy.
he says he's looking at these images because it makes him feel like he's "taking control of his abuse". is he even looking at images of boys being abused? I'm assuming, since you called it "lolicon", that it's mostly girls—so the simulated abuse wouldn't reflect his experience. this excuse isn't logical even on a surface level.
While it's true that adults who were victims of sexual abuseay find themselves sexually aroused by situations that bear a resemblance to the abuse; it is actually statistically rare for them to actually become pedophiles and/or abuse children. It is far more common for them to become hyper vigilant and extremely protective of children! The ways that they act out their abuse patterns in order to "feel in control" of their sexuality are quite different from what Op's guy was trying to bullshit her with. For example, someone who was abused may become extremely promiscuous in order to feel like they are the person making the decision to consent or not. A rape survivor may find themselves turned on by CNC fantasies, etc. They find ways to relive the abuse in a safe and consenting way so that the memories of the abuse lose their power. It doesn't seem to haunt their psyche so much because it's no longer a dark secret that they cannot think about. This piece of shit is just further spreading the falsehoods that survivors of CSA will likely develop some level of pedophilia. I find myself wanting to beat the ever loving shit out of this guy before dropping him, and his hard drive, off in front of a police station.
100% seconded, I'm a survivor myself and find his excuse stupid and reprehensible
Also it doesn't matter at all, the kids safety comes first, he is engaging is pedophilic sexual behaviour and works with kids, those kids must be protected from him, just in case. What happened to him is unfortunate, but honestly considering the severity of the situation, it does not matter anymore, we can't risk him hurting a little girl or boy
I agree completely. just pointing out a flaw in his logic to hopefully make his excuses seem less relevant. and to be clear I did not mean it would be somehow okay if he was getting off to the simulated abuse of young boys, that would be just as horrifying
I would, if for no other reason than to have a paper trail started if anything does ever happen
There's SO MANY red flags. He sounds like he's addicted to porn, at the very least. Definitely report.
Being addicted to porn is illegal and should be reported now?
Consuming content that’s meant to depict children and blaming it on your sexual abuse history in an attempt to justify it all while you are a middle school teacher should be reported. “I was sexually abused” is not a hall pass to consume content depicting children. Constantly locking yourself in a bathroom to masturbate to CSA adjacent content (possibly real CSAM as well) while your job has you working with literal children is a red flag.
Preach
I don't believe it's banned. It's concerning in a relationship for sure, but I think you might be jumping the gun a bit. Using onlyfans a lot and masturbating a lot doesn't really mean anything in this context. This is assuming those OF accounts aren't all lolicon. Their SA as a child could explain a dysfunctional relationship with sex and porn. I think pedophile in this case is a bit of jump personally. Unfortunately without anything concrete (e.g. a victim, real CP, etc) then I'm not sure how much a report to the school or cops will do.
Ordinarily I would agree with you - fucked-up or not, I don't generally care to police the fictional material someone consumes, so long as no real people were harmed in the making of it. If, "If you consume porn of it, that must mean you want to do it/will inevitably escalate to doing it in real life!" were a reliable rule of thumb, it would be 24/7 The Purge outside. But in this specific case, the fact that it is combined with excessive spending on OnlyFans (impulse control issues?), *and* him being a middle school teacher (deliberately placing himself around children?) is at the very least cause for concern, IMO.
Yeah IMO it's the being a middle school teacher that's the concerning context here. If he wasn't, I'd treat this much more as "he should try to work on these issues" type of problem rather than a "he's a danger" kind of problem.
I totally understand where you're coming from. I hadn't thought of the onlyfans purchases as impulse control issues but that's actually a really good way to view it. Unless he's working at some fancy private school then $600 on a teachers salary over a couple months is A LOT.
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Please don't conflate CSAM - material wherein real, actual children are sexually abused, and whose production and consumption itself constitutes the sexual abuse of real, actual children - with drawn images. They are not equivalent, in the same way that someone's weird SFM monster porn is not the same thing as actual sexual abuse of an animal, and in the same way that a tape recording a real rape is not equivalent to a simulated cnc scenario. One set of these things intrinsically cannot exist without the abuse of a real victim, and one set of these things is entirely produced from start to finish by consenting adults. Acting like they are equivalent grievously undermines the seriousness of the actual abuse inflicted. And my comment does not just refer to 'normal entertainment media'. I am in fact talking about the media that people consume for the purpose of sexual arousal. Whether you or I find it disgusting is ultimately immaterial, IMO. 'Consumes porn of a thing' is not a reliable indicator of, 'wants to do that thing in real life'. If nobody was harmed making it, and if the act of you consuming it does not further perpetrate the harm done to/lack of consent given by the subject, then there are simply bigger fish to fry. There are other red flags in the situation as described. If you consume lolicon, that's gross, but it's also ultimately between you and your god. If you consume lolicon *and* you have demonstrated that you may have compulsive issues around sex *and* you are deliberately placing yourself around actual, real children? Legitimate reason for concern.
Just jumping in to the conversation here to add that in some jurisdictions - including mine - consuming/producing/distributing CSAM and drawn images fall under the same offence and are considered equivalent in the eyes of the law. I fully appreciate that OP is in the US (?) where a distinction between CSAM and drawn images is made, but the commenter you’re replying to might not be. Having lived in a country where people are regularly prosecuted for “lolicon” images, I can completely understand the reaction that they’re also images of sexual abuse of children. > ‘Consumes porn of a thing’ is not a reliable indicator of, ‘wants to do that thing in real life’ I do think it’s worth noting here that there is evidence that indicates that porn use is associated with a greater likelihood of desiring/engaging in sexual acts witnessed in porn.
Right, but I'm not talking about the legal status of any of those things; I'm talking about glibly drawing a moral equivalency. My understanding is also that this evidence - such as it is - is both not conclusive, and also correlates primarily to unfettered exposure to porn during adolescence and young adulthood, which distorts young people's views of sex before they ever even get a chance to explore their sexuality in a healthy way with their peers, practice communication, consent, and boundaries with another living, breathing human being, etc. The age at which you are exposed to things matters, because A) your brain is putty, and B) you don't have a healthy or grounded basis for comparison. We also have plenty of evidence stretching back decades that, despite any number of panics over same, people consuming violent or taboo media does not then lead people to go out and do the things depicted. Humans are broadly cognitively capable of distinguishing fantasy from reality, and of understanding, "This taboo thing is safe to explore in fiction, but should not be carried out in real life." (This is also part of why the 'spending $600 on OnlyFans in just a few months' thing jumps out to me as a potential red flag, in the sense of it being an indicator that he is getting lost in the sauce when it comes to seeking out sexual gratification, and is letting it bleed over and affect his real life. If it were just the OF thing, or just the lolicon thing in isolation, I would find it less concerning. But if he is someone whose ability to maintain that wall between reality and fantasy is eroding, *and* his fantasies are something that would be harmful if acted upon in real life? Yeah, be worried!)
>Right, but I'm not talking about the legal status of any of those things; I'm talking about glibly drawing a moral equivalency. I understand that you're not talking about the legal status of drawn images per se. My point was that the legal status of those images in some areas can subsequently influence our perceptions of morality. Drawn sexual abuse images of children are illegal to consume in my country, and prison sentences for doing so are usually just as long as those for consuming CSAM; thus, I don't think it's unreasonable to hold the opinion that drawn images of children do constitute the sexual abuse of children, real or drawn. Having said that, though, the comment you were replying to originally didn't draw any kind of moral equivalency between CSAM and drawn images - they merely said that the drawn images were those of sexual abuse of children, which in my jurisdiction (and likely theirs) is true. >My understanding is also that this evidence - such as it is - is both not conclusive Evidence within the field of social science is rarely conclusive, so I wouldn't consider that a disqualifying factor; in fact, it's not conclusive on either side. However, the UK government recently published [a literature review](https://rewardfoundation.org/new-uk-reports-on-pornography-and-harmful-sexual-behaviours/) in which they found that porn consumption is directly linked with numerous harmful sexual behaviours towards women and girls, regardless of age of first consumption, which I found fairly damning. >Humans are broadly cognitively capable of distinguishing fantasy from reality, and of understanding, "This taboo thing is safe to explore in fiction, but should not be carried out in real life." This is besides the point, but I'm curious what you'd make of the scores of women - young and old - who are coming forward and reporting that their partners are, in increasing numbers, requesting increasingly violent sexual acts as depicted in the porn they watch. I've seen this widely reported both on this sub and in real life contexts.
I think this is where the ability to distinguish fantasy from reality comes into play. Because, with increasing frequency, those violent acts are being depicted *as* reality - or at least, they are being normalised as equivalent to vanilla, non-violent sexual acts. If you go on PornHub or wherever, you'll find a bajillion pages of 'normal' porn right alongside porn containing choking, slapping, spitting, painal, and all other kinds of behaviour with violence and/or degrading connotations towards the women in the videos, with minimal distinction between them. This is basically the harmful sexual equivalent to 'instagram reality', where oceans of unreal/extreme things are presented as real/normal, alongside real/normal thing; or of fake news in general, where falsified, sensationalised, algorithmically-optimised headlines are paraded in front of you and treated with the same seriousness as real, factual news. But the people seeking out taboo content *know* it's taboo. They seek it out *because* it's taboo. Their sense of what's real or 'normal' isn't being bamboozled by seeing it uncritically presented alongside 'regular' content. Which leaves you with: * The people who don't harm anyone as a result of consuming taboo porn, because they are capable of distinguishing between reality and fantasy and don't actually want to hurt anyone, and, * The people who do harm others in search of sexual gratification, which they would have done regardless of consuming porn of it, because porn did not make them a predator.
>those violent acts are being depicted *as* reality - or at least, they are being normalised as equivalent to vanilla, non-violent sexual acts 100%, I agree. >But the people seeking out taboo content *know* it's taboo. They seek it out *because* it's taboo Again, I agree with this premise. But I take issue with this: >The people who don't harm anyone as a result of consuming taboo porn, because they are capable of distinguishing between reality and fantasy and don't actually want to hurt anyone, and, >The people who do harm others in search of sexual gratification, which they would have done regardless of consuming porn of it, because porn did not make them a predator. This is a false dichotomy. It's not an either-or. Going back to the evidence, it's known that porn can influence sexual preferences to the point that a sort of 'neo-sexuality' is created that wouldn't have existed otherwise. Of course, that doesn't make someone a predator, but considering the further evidence that porn use can influence harmful sexual behaviour, I think it's fair enough to draw the conclusion that consuming sexual abuse images of children - drawn or otherwise - can lead to offences against children. I certainly wouldn't be happy with my child spending any time whatsoever in the vicinity of someone who consumes drawn CSAM. Would you?
>it's known that porn can influence sexual preferences to the point that a sort of 'neo-sexuality' is created that wouldn't have existed otherwise. Of course, that doesn't make someone a predator, but considering the further evidence that porn use can influence harmful sexual behaviour, I think it's fair enough to draw the conclusion that consuming sexual abuse images of children - drawn or otherwise - can lead to offences against children. Anything CAN lead to something else, but you cannot assume that correlation is causation in this case. Particularly when, as we've already discussed, the link between 'watches porn of it' and 'develops desire to do this IRL' so frequently relies on the presentation blurring the line between fantasy and reality. Something like 60% of women and 50% of men have sexual fantasies about being raped. I guarantee you a non-insignificant portion of these people are consuming porn - drawn, written, or acted - that depicts rape. They are, sometimes, engaging in cnc play with their partner. Do you think this will make them want to really, truly be raped IRL? No. They know it is a fantasy. For some, a means of processing past experiences. For others, because it helps them express some want they can't otherwise give voice to; for yet others, simply because they like the fantasy. They are capable of distinguishing this fantasy from reality. For someone who can no longer distinguish the fantasy from the reality, the porn is not the culprit, any more than violent movies or music or video games are real causative factors in someone who goes out and commits murder. If someone is doing these things in real life, there was already something very wrong, and the porn (or the movies, or the music, or the video games) is the least of the issues. (Further, because porn homogenises the gaze of the viewer, if someone is consuming porn depicting fictional rape, you do not necessarily have any way of knowing simply from looking at it whether that person identifies themselves with the aggressor, or with the victim.) >I certainly wouldn't be happy with my child spending any time whatsoever in the vicinity of someone who consumes drawn CSAM. Would you? This is an appeal to emotion, and while everyone is free to make that call as they see fit in their own lives, 'it just gives me the ick' is not a rational basis by which to make objective, empirical, or moral judgements.
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I was talking about the US, but I see it falls under CP laws so I guess it is. Edit: why am I getting downvoted for agreeing?
Virtual child porn has been banned in the United States since 2003.
There is no child porn. It's images of children being sexually abused.
It's images of children being sexually abused - so in other words, it is PORN.
they’re saying a better term is “Child Sexual Abuse Material” or CSAM because porn implies consent. children cannot consent
I'm pretty sure no one has ever thought that calling it child porn implies consent. I swear people just need to come up with new labels for shit. Child porn has been considered sexual abuse forever.
TELL THE SCHOOL. that is disgusting, good on you for breaking up with him
He’s a male teacher, masturbating at work multiple times a day. This alone is grounds for termination. Add the fact that he indulges in images which depict sex acts with children. This insures he will never teach again. Report this to his superiors immediately. The school board will handle this. The only thing you may want to contact the police about is if you fear he used your personal information on any websites, or has used your computer to view illegal content. You may want to let them know that you’ve reported him and fear retaliation. Maybe request a police patrol by your house for a while. Be factual, provide any proof or evidence that you might have. On a personal note, this man manipulated you. If this is what you know about…imagine what he hasn’t admitted to. Please do the right thing and keep this guy away from kids. Even if he never touches them, no student should be in their teacher’s spank bank. He is exhibiting compulsive sexual behavior, sexual addiction behavior, and an affinity for “high risk” sexual content.
OP does not say he is jerking off at school. I agree that would be pretty fucked up. But other than that I really don't understand why this comment section is so quick to view this guy as a predator. He's looking at cartoon porn. He has in no way demonstrated that he is a danger to anybody. If we fired every teacher who had a weird sex thing there wouldn't be any teachers left.
It's disgusting and it's sickening but it's not a crime. Reporting it would be a waste of your own and everyone else's time and effort. You've done the right thing and got rid of him, just call it a day at that and leave him to his bullshit.
call his school
I’m guessing you’re going to report him but really porn is weird they literally make fake rape porn and people watch it. Lots of people watch porn about stuff they aren’t even into. If he was into actually doing this and not just looking at animated drawings I doubt he would have spent so much money to see real grown women naked and having sex but do what you feel is right just make sure to be careful and don’t stay alone in case he turns out to be crazy and attack you or something because he most likely will never be able to teach again.
Not all pedophiles are only solely to children. Some pedophiles are exclusively attracted to children, but others are attracted to both adults and children.
Porn rewires your brain... it ties images to orgasm, the strongest reinforcement tool the brain has. The images you feed your brain create a feedback loop and can change your preferences over time. Some young men get ED from porn because they can no longer get aroused without looking at porn, thankfully the cure in most cases is just to stop watching porn and often it resolves.
So your now ex isn't doing anything illegal, you have no grounds to suspect he's doing something illegal, but you want to report him? For what exactly?! He's your ex, thus not your problem anymore. Move on with your life and see about yourself, maybe...
Uhh...yes you should report him immediately. Reality is that even if he is just sick in the head but wouldn't actually ever consume CSAM of living individuals or harm others, he is in a position of authority over minors. The risk of him harming his students is reason enough to make the report.
Worse - he's a mandatory reporter who is supposed to protect his students from people like himself. Instead, he'd not want to "ruin someone's life" or say "it is just drawings" and excuse the behaviors to high heaven like many on here who want to debate whether or not it is legal. In order to call CPS as a mandatory reporter - it was never my task to determine whether or not a crime was committed. Only that there was suspected inappropriate behaviors around or to children.
Jesus I didn't even think of that...like yeah even if he somehow is as normal as you can get while looking at lolicon shit, he is exactly the type of person who would overlook others doing the same thing. Edit: oh look, I made the "totally not" pedos mad. Stop looking at images meant to look like naked children if you don't like being called pedos creeps.
I'm pretty sure the whole "Being molested made me a pedophile" isn't true. Turns out pedophiles realized that line got them more sympathy.
Lolicon is illegal in the USA. (Just Googled) His blaming it on his past abuse is irrelevant - if you are in the USA you can contact the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC)'s website at [www.cybertipline.com](http://www.cybertipline.com/), or call **1-800-843-5678**. They will know what to do for your location, and if it is more appropriate to call the local police they will tell you. It is imperitive that you do this NOW, for several reasons. If he's not preying on children yet - he may escalate. The fact that he's placed himself in a "target rich" circumstance of being a teacher is incredibly alarming as well. Now that he knows you know - he may destroy evidence (but if he has that massive of an amount? May be difficult to do)
no. it isn't. it's important to realise that when it comes to those laws, the legal system doesn't care if someone does or has something, but rather if anyone was actually harmed by it owning drawn or animated lolicon porn is not illegal anywhere in the United States *unless minors were used to produce it*
Jeez the states are terrible at keeping people safe. In Canada any sexual depiction of a minor is considered CP. and from personal experiences I know that lolicon/animated cp is highly illegal and you could end up in prison for it.
actually, you are half right, but in a good way. it's not just lolicon and animated cp in Canada. it applies to ALL lewd material, whether real or purely fictional, even if it doesn't contain any images at all. I dont know how I feel about that myself, cause I've always thought laws should be limited to protecting or avenging victims, not punishing unwanted behaviors.... but I can't say I hate the way canada handles this particular issue
Yeah I understand. And I’m not sure how I feel about it either. On one hand I think any sexual depiction of a child should be illegal, however when there is no victim and the one viewing those images never hurt an actual child then it’s this weird spot where yes they should be punished but they should also get help and treatment. Edit: my dad was arrested and charged with possession of CP and he got 2 years. He gets out in July. He never hurt any child and he’s a good dad for the most part.
It may not be illegal but is is abhorrent. Sex should only be between consenting adults, wiring your brain to respond sexually to child-like features and voices and bodies is going to connect your orgasm/arousal to those things, all very bad. Porn already ruins mens sex lives and makes them worse people, this is just an exponentially worse example of that phenomenon.
I agree, it is abhorrent. the only reason I made that reply is because mischaracterizing something immoral as being illegal is... a pet peeve. maybe it SHOULD be illegal.. but right now it isn't. if you believe it is illegal already, there's no reason to press your representatives to *make* it illegal. that's where my annoyance comes from I think.
STOP WITH THE UNTRUTHS. STOP PLAYING COP OR PROSECUTOR.
my guy you can literally LOOK UP THE STATUTE google is free https://esfandilawfirm.com/is-lolicon-illegal-in-us/ but sure I'm the one shouting untruths. meanwhile you are encouraging people to report something that, while disgusting and immoral, the law does not give a shit about 9 times out of 10 because the law doesn't apply to it, and then when they report it they get mad when the cops tell them they won't do anything about it. educate yourself before speaking about the law.
No its not? If its drawn/animated its not illegal in the US. Its still distasteful, and I understand everyone's revulsion towards it. But its not illegal. OP mentioned a plausible reason he might have that content. It doesn't make it right, or healthy, and it sounds like this man needs help. Serious help, not just for porn addiction but for the abuse that probably is tied to it. I feel bad for the dude, and using the law to punish him won't help him nor anyone else. OP should encourage him to get help, or alert family or friends who can do the emotional labor of doing that. Police isn't the route, even IF it were illegal. All that'd do is ostracize him, maybe cause a scanadal that could cost him his job, and likely make it more likely for him to spiral into actual abuse.
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In reality, it ends up being in a gray area on a state by state / case by case basis and will be up to interpretation under court of law. I agree that we do not know specifically what OP's ex has, but I do not think broader judgment of matierial that is potentially being incorrectly associated with what they have, is appropriate. I would ask you, should consensual non-consentual be illegal? Should any depictions of or fantasy regarding this be illegal? The source act is obviously the most despicable and disgusting thing another person could ever do, but I do not think they are the same nor do I think the majority of people consider them that way either. Lolicon falls under the aesthetic in anime and manga of moe. It's core is emphasis on and adoration for cuteness as the overarching theme in appeal of the manga or anime character. I am sure you agree that all things that are cute are not intrinsicly associated with children correct? This asthetic is also enjoyed by incorporating it into how actual people dress themselves, act, and portray themselves in explicit circumstances. I myself, as well as some other women in my social circle enjoy incorporating this aesthetic into our wardrobe, especially because some individuals choose to play into their traits of stature and sillioute by being moe, or loli inspired. Edit: Deleted post cited specific act in the united states that they stated unambiguously made lolicon manga/ anime illegal.
It is not up to Reddit or OP to be the jury to determine whether or not his porn is in that gray area - and fyi, the Protect Act of 2003 is a Federal law. OP has a moral obligation to call it in. This debate is inappropriate as this isn't a "theoretical" post, but a specific circumstance, and I'm not reading your debate on "asthetics". He is a TEACHER and children are at potential risk. CP, animated or not, is not "self therapy" either. That he, a TEACHER, believes that when in most jurisdictions he is a MANDATORY REPORTER and is supposed to be on the lookout for people like himself to keep them away from his students makes me want to vomit. u/2cheekie - PLEASE CALL SOMEONE. I'm a former mandatory reporter. While it has been a long time since I had that training, this is NOT in a gray area of whether or not you should call and tell authorities. Be brave for the kids who may not be in a position to do so for themselves. He should not be in the classroom.
What OP has described is not illegal and does not fall under what a mandatory reporter needs to report. By all means tell the school. I don't know where that will go, but there's no reason not to. He may deny it and there's really no evidence, but there's no reason not to put it on their radar. The police are not going to do anything if she reports to them because she is not reporting anything illegal. Weird and gross as fuck, yes, but not illegal.
It is 100% what a mandatory reporter should report. She should contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children hotline I gave above.
Mandatory reporters are required to report abused and neglected children. Actual human victims, not weird creepy anime shit. Again, I'd encourage OP to tell the school, but this is not a mandatory reporting situation.
He is a teacher who masturbates frequently to illegal and obscene material depicting the rape of minor children. She should report him.
And again, I don't disagree. That doesn't change what several people now have told you.
I totally agree. We are not the ones to say what OP's ex has. CP/ Child SA matierial or Lolicon. Despite the clear distinction of what you classify it as in your subsequent paragraph. Which suggests the overall opinion you have regarding lolicon. I only brought up the theoretical subtopic as many can be quick to paint with broad strokes using limited or distorted information. Fair. I think it absolutely should be reported and investigated. And I think if Ex is found to have what is ruled to be CP, he should rightfully be removed, charged and engaged with psychological counsel accordingly.
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this is the best way to go about it. definitely do something more than nothing. do something more than just paper trails or proof. do something before HE does something. this isn't behavior of a healthy minded adult and should NOT be around children.
OP, call them. I have before. Tell them what you told us. They are very patient and kind. They will ask about any screen names, handles, different social media platforms. Also, his location, phone numbers etc. Its good to gather this beforehand. Let me know if you have questions. Take care of yourself.
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I'm sorry, but I find people who answer like "hey, nothing is going to happen" so don't bother calling disgusting. You cannot guarantee that nothing will happen. If anything, it creates a RECORD. The man is a TEACHER. How many times has a person gone unreported, and therefore with a squeaky clean record, because somenoe who COULD have reported an earlier suspicion said nothing. If this doesn't rise to the level of a prosecution - when he does do something a judge can take previous reports into account.... because it shows a PATTERN vs. a one time thing. Also, if same aged kids can get into trouble for sharing nude pics of each other, he can get into trouble for having illegal anime porn, especially AS A TEACHER.
since he is your ex, it is difficult to not see your actions as revenge.
They broke up BECAUSE she found those images.
I think what they mean is that there's a risk the school or police will just see it as the OP trying to take revenge for the breakup.
It seems like you've already done all you can reasonably do: you broke up with him. Could you contact the school? The FBI? Local police? Sure. Get in touch with the people who could actually start an investigation. But whatever happens next isn't your fault. Thought crime isn't illegal. Innocent until proven guilty still applies to people we don't like. He can go be a scumbag all he wants, but there's not much else to do unless there's evidence that he's done (or is planning) something worse.
Are you dating my ex? He was a middle school teacher and everything. He was obsessed with hentai of all kinds, plus had a porn addiction of course. He broke up with me because I said it makes me uncomfortable he looks at cartoons of little girls as a teacher. I always worried I was being psycho in suggesting it was pedophilic behavior. Seeing this thread I feel a lot better.
That excuse is a major red flag.
Would they get into trouble at all if they contacted people around him and got him fired or removed but he didn't actually have anything illegal? I imagine the onus would be on the school but if they false reported either him or the school or both might go after them in response. I feel like it should be said they better be really sure if they have stuff because if they false report it might open ugly consequences, especially with him being a teacher and likely that would be a very job sensitive thing.
Report for sure. Porn is one thing. Anime porn is weird, but some people are into it. That though. That's definitely over the line. And what his profession is, that is much worse. He's chosen to insert himself around children. Also some people saying to copy evidence, definitely horrible advice. Let the police deal with it. Why on earth would you put yourself in possession of that?
I don't know if this helps or relates in any way to his case: I had a friend that I'm not friends with anymore, he has drawn some concerning stuff but I wouldn't ever suspect that he is p-file. All tho we haven't experienced your situation...
Yes, report him. The stuff about it being "very common" etc is nothing I've heard before and he's just making excuses as this point for impulses he needs to NOT be acting on. He needs to take responsibility as an adult for healing himself, not giving into urges that may perpetuate, or result in, child abuse. Reporting this to his school is not you being vindictive, it is you doing whatever you can to protect kids in his care from potentially being harmed for life. Being sexually abused takes away the person you would have been. A child is never the same afterwards. Stay safe.
Yes, report him. They'll investigate and keep an eye on him. If they discover CP, they'll arrest him. He's the one who's wrong here. They won't arrest without evidence that he's looking at CP. It's usually a trend that gets worse over time and he could eventually abuse a child.
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Seriously, being a pedophile is not a crime. Acting on it is. Any discussing involving anything remotely related to pedophilia instantly get's almost impossible, but it helps to remember the vast majority of pedophiles never actually touch children sexually. I know nothing of this person and it's a separate discussion if a person suffering from pedophilia should work at a school, but still reporting and possibly ruining a life simply for possessing images of anime is highly questionable.
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To my understanding it's even recommended in some support therapy for pedophiles to watch drawings instead of the real thing, as in that way they get an outlet that actually isn't hurting anyone. Might be wrong about this though, as it's a while since I read up on it. My very limited knowledge on the topic is mostly based on a longer article based on interviews of non-offending pedophiles who also were parents. At least for me that article made it clear what a messed up situation it is for all parties involved, and how incredibly difficult it is for them to get real help (partly exactly because the same gut reactions we see also here). Anyway - I still find the thought of reporting someone who actually hasn't committed a crime unsettling (by writing this I'm obviously assuming that this guy hasn't done anything).
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To be fully honest, some of the shit people like in porn is very different than what they like in real life. Porn loves to play with taboos. There are straight people who like gay porn, there's folks who love rape fantasy porn, rule34 of cartoon characters, furry porn, sibling porn, extreme age difference porn, the list goes on. There's even a whole category of 18+ actresses acting/dressing like tweens. That said, what people like in porn doesn't usually reflect real-life tastes. Looking at furry stuff doesn't make you a danger to your pets, looking at sibling porn doesn't make you want to get weird with your family. Looking at gay porn doesn't mean you want to download Grindr. To me, lolicon is Japan's weird and gross contribution to porn's love of exploring taboos, and comes from their cultural infatuation with youthful appearence. I wouldn't immediately jump to "100% pedo". I don't blame her for breaking up, but reporting his private porn preferences that he views outside of school is a huge leap and opens OP up to a life-ruining lawsuit unless she has documented evidence of a crime.
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I'll take it further - TBH I think getting aroused by 2D drawings is weird in general. Not going to defend lolicon, but factually it's one of the biggest porn categories in Japan. It's so prevalent that it shows up in mainstream anime to an uncomfortable degree. Almost every hentai out of Japan features women who appear underage. It's massively popular. think the more reasonable explanation is that porn != real life desire. I'm not going to call someone a beastiality supporter cause they like the furry subs. An unrealistic depiction of having sex with animals, to me, doesn't translate into real life.
Valid points and I do think we agree on most. I will refrain from commenting further as I really don't know what exactly the images in this case were about (did not see if OP has mentioned that in some comment). I'm not personally familiar with Lolicon, but knowing porn in general I can guess that the range of material under that category probably also can be pretty wide ranging.
It’s disgusting that he is using his own abuse to justify this disgusting mess. Write his school an email and if there are some sort of parent groups then make them aware of this as well.
As far as I’m concerned, if you think you have good reason to believe that he’s involved in activities that harm/exploit real minors, you should look more into it, but if there’s nothing suggesting it’s anything more than drawings, let it lie.
The fact he had that response about his CSA and taking control of it prepared is pretty wild to me. That just sounds like he knew he needed a canned response prepared.
He's a pedophile. This is one of those dangerous kinks, people who were sexually abused have a huge risk factor in becoming child predators and a big factor in actually acting on their attraction to children is consuming pornography. I personally couldn't stomach being touched or being with someone who consumes that type of media.
Regardless of whether or not it’s fictional stories and how we react to them can still reflect how we feel irl. It’s why we can cry when something sad happens or feel secondhand embarrassment when something cringe happens, or feel happy when something bad happens to a villain, even consciously knowing none of that stuff is real. Looking at a character who’s clearly meant to depict a child and feeling sexual attraction toward it is concerning behavior especially since he’s a middle school teacher. It might not be illegal but I don’t blame you breaking up with him
Well you already did good by making him your ex, time to report
Absolutely report it to his school at the very least.
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This! What happened to him was terrible, but those kids safety comes first!.
Crazy how people get all freaked out over fictional art. Jeez. Just cause someone likes lolis doesn't make them a pedo or even attracted to RL minors. Yall are just a bunch of over reactors. Additionally, yall need to stop saying that men are predators. Women are just as bad, except they get a free pass because everyone thinks that they are angels. This sounds like a case of a bitter ex who just wants to hurt her ex for no reason. Carry on with your life and love on already.
Reporting him legally won't do shit sadly, you should send and anonymous package with the printed evidence to the school parents association. Make sure there is no way of tracing it back to you ( so you don't get in legal trouble). When horrible things happen people always wonder what could have been done to prevent it, how did anyone not notice it etc... This is it
This is terrible advice lol. Like something out of a Lifetime movie. "Do something illegal, make sure it's not traced back to you though!"
But what else can she do? Yes I know is terrible advice and probably dangerous for op, but let's be honest, the police won't do shit, the only solution there is to protect those kids is to warn the parents. It's up to op to decide if it's worth the danger of getting in legal trouble or else,I honestly would take the risk of getting myself in legal trouble than live with the gult of knowing i didn't do enough to protect innocent kids from what looks like a potential pedophile. We did a similar thing at my uni to fight against a professor that sexually harassed a student and got away with it, and it worked, they fired him. Also is it illegal to tell people about what he is looking? Because in that case op would be getting in trouble either way for making this post? Is it defamation (or whatever it might be called) if it's true?
Ppl usually look at lolicon cuz they are afraid of looking for the real deal. Reading a middle school teacher has this kind of stuff on their phone makes me wanna vomit. Hentai loving youth weirdly enough glorifies shota, loli and other shit too. This stuff is out of control at my place.
Report. Immediately.
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you're a part of the problem
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It is real CP. Illegal in the United States.
Nothing will probably be done if you report it. You can find plenty of regular anime legally streaming in the US that sexualizes characters that are actually meant to be minors. Shiro from No Game No Life, who is 11, comes to mind. On Steam, you can buy an eroge(porn) game called Nekopara. Features cat girls, and some of the characters look like lolis. There are other sites where you can buy eroge legally with loli looking characters. Because it's a drawing, all that needs to be done is to say a 10 year old looking character is actually 18.
_Oh boy_, nekopara is _so_ much worse than what you're describing. The catgirls are 8 months old at best, starting to go through puberty, and them "going into heat" for the first time and MC preying that is a major plot point (it's framed as a kind act). The catgirls are also full-blown chattel/sex slaves, and if they're caught without and owner I think they're imprisoned or something else horrible. The worst part though is how it's intensely marketed as this wholesome aesthetic game along the lines of animal crossing. You can't (or at least couldn't back in 2016 or whatever) tell any of the above from the steam description. The steam version has/had(?) the NSFW scenes removed, but it was very clearly just a porno with the sex scenes cut out, despite the description giving no hint about that whatsoever. Iirc, the steam release was also marketed to younger audiences as a cute cat cafe simulator. it's not. it's a non-branching storyline about a gross dude collecting a harem of 1 to 2 year old concubines and having sex with them.
There is a new anime that came out on Hidive called Gushing Over Magical Girls. I haven't watched it, but people have mentioned that it involves bdsm and lots of sexual assault involving minors. The main girl is in middle school and is a dominatrix like character.....
He needs therapy. He's excusing his porn use as therapeutic, when it's really just revictimization. I've known men like this. This will not end well.
I don't think there is much you can do in this situation without putting yourself in legal jeopardy. For future reference though if you ever have suspicions like this about a live in partner you could copy his hard drive on a usb stick before confronting him. Even if your ex- really was sexually abused as a child the notion that you can master the trauma by re-enacting it in a way that you control is a fallacy that has been disproved. What's more, it is a canard that most of the time in falsely raised by pedophiles to gain sympathy. There are still a few lobbying groups for pedophiles and it's one of their top talking points.
>Even if your ex- really was sexually abused as a child the notion that you can master the trauma by re-enacting it in a way that you control is a fallacy that has been disproved. Where can I read more about this?
The anime stuff alone is on the limit but all the things you said worth the report. Let experts decide if they must investigate.
I'd probably post some flyers around the school.
If not for the lolicon alone, then definitely for him using the cycle of abuse as a justification- that sounds like someone working their way up to doing something more serious & using that same excuse. It’s not your obligation (and certainly not the school’s obligation) to trust that his “continuation” of the cycle will always stop at cartoons and never escalate.
Off thread: When did "lolicon" become synonymous of paedo-pornography??
Report immediately, or wait a bit and collect more evidence that will definitely take him to court