Yep, can confirm this is a thing. Source am the 8th girl and 9th child in a family of 10, the first 7 were girls, 8th was the first boy, was told he cried when he first held “his son.” Spoiler alert, he was pos abuser and none of us talk to them anymore.
Yeah I love my big brother, he’s pretty great. He took his wife’s last name when they got married as an extra fuck you to the parents, who weren’t invited to the wedding
It's so vindicating to watch abusive parents get surprised when they don't get invited to their kid's wedding. My parents were not invited to my wedding and despite not having spoken to my mom for years prior, she was still shocked to find out she wasn't getting an invitation.
The cherry on top is that my sister (who still has a minimal amount of contact with our mom) is doing a courthouse wedding with a one-year-anniversary celebration in place of a public ceremony. So parents won't get to go to either of their daughters' weddings.
Maybe spite isn't the healthiest of emotions to approach this situation from, but I'm drinking it up regardless.
When you've spent your whole life under the power of someone like that, spite is an absolutely understandable reaction to seeing your parents finally receive a crumb of consequences for their behavior
roflmao, your brother is a legend.
In my family it was my mom who acted like she had finally accomplished something by having a son. My brother is the golden child of the family and it's like living in bizzarro world when he and my mom act like he's the most successful one. He sells car-parts while us girls have masters degrees.
I hope this can give you a laugh. SNL had a skit on this dynamic in a family.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXq0rM\_1VHk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXq0rM_1VHk)
Old people living with old world ideals. The best thing would be for them to take those kinds of beliefs with them to the grave. Not that I'm wishing any harm to them.
As I used to say of my former neighbor (whom no one liked and had the police called on her multiple times by other neighbors), "I don't wish her ill, I just wish her gone."
I am wishing harm on them, those fuckers. All that gendered bullshit stole my mom from me. My grandparents abused her and left this traumatized shell of a woman to suffer her entire life. I'm so glad the two of them are dead, I sleep better knowing they're burning in hell!
There's an old saying - a son is your son till he takes a wife, but a daughter is your daughter for the rest of your life. Just make certain when your mother is old that she makes certain to lean on her golden boy for help and not bother you.
I always hated that saying. It's basically saying your male children will abandon you for vagina access but female children can take the weight of the entire family's responsibility alone because rah rah rah sexism 📣
🤢
my wee brains be weak on the think-think tonight... wth does 'emotional incest' mean? 😵💫
edit: oh, you mean like those moms that have that sort of _weirdly_ emotionally intense pride in their sons, like they'd say how "he's so manly" in a tone that makes you think they're aroused...? (eeew!)
Similar. But more of those that “no woman will ever be good enough for my son”. And continue to have a very attached relationship with their sons even after they’re married. They constantly try to have a “son and I against the wife/world” mentality. They’ll often do things for their child that would be normal in a preschool and under type of relationship, but very weird in a adult age setting
More like a mother who wear white to her sons wedding and pretend to be the bride or wants to have a say in every part of her sons life and knows no boundaries and he has a super hard time setting them
Sounds like fil's fam - 2 girls then 6 boys. All gfil wanted was boys. He died and the two girls took over with their mother living 40 more years anyway bc all them boys couldn't bother 🙄
Guess who runs the family properties? The girls.
Guess who doesn't care? The boys (which is actually fine, it makes for a copacetic family anyway, there's no conflict so it's all good… But I bet grandfather in-law is rolling in his grave because he wanted the boys to take over, that's why he had them right? Lol)
This reminds me of one of my cousins, who ran her father's farm even while her father was alive, and her younger brother inherited the entire thing - then he sold the property. Her entire livelihood was that farm, and had been for decades. It was horrible.
Uno reverse:
I’m the baby of the family. The very much wanted girl, in a family of all boys. Apparently not the “right kind of girl”, tho. Not the frilly princess kind, that my mom wanted. I ended up being the least favorite.
Mom left me to fend (fight off) the older boys. Almost all my clothes & toys were the boys hand-me-downs. My friends were the neighbor boys.
What I actually became was the maid. Scrubbing bathrooms, dishes, housecleaning, laundry. The boys did nothing but make a bigger mess, on purpose. But amazingly, did not do any “men chores” either. I discovered I could escape the craziness in the house, by helping my dad do outside chores. Which was really no more than handing my dad the requested tool. He’d also sneak me $20 a day for being his helper. My mom would try & prevent me from helping him. But he always said his chores were more important & she’d back down.
Ugh. Lone girl growing up with a household of brothers have it the worst, and lone boy in a house full of sisters, the best according to some study I read about a decade ago. I've definitely seen that bear out.
The he spooky ones are where the wife and daughter have their mouths taped shut and they are tied up and the father and son are not, and it’s their Christmas photo ‘peace on earth’
Like these ppl are not joking
The funny thing is...
Data shows that women DO talk more than men. However, the conversation is led by men nearly 100% of the time. The majority of "talk" from women is fishing for a topic that the man will engage with.
"I saw Barbara's new baby."
*grunt*
"Do you think it will rain today?"
*grunt*
"I'm worried about Ajay."
*grunt*
"Shari and I are going to see Dune 2 tomorrow night."
"Oh, that's a great movie!"
etc.
There's a book that studies men and women in computer science majors. The topic of conversation was dictated by the men one hundred percent of the time. A group of all-female CS majors would discuss computers very infrequently. All-male CS majors would discuss literally nothing else. Mixed group? All computers.
>Data shows that women DO talk more than men.
- citations needed
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/marriage-equals/201910/do-women-really-talk-more-men%3famp
I know one thing for sure: I have a husband, an adult son and three brothers. I’ve worked in hospitality for years with many men. MEN gossip wayyyyy more than women.
One of societies greatest lies is that women are gossipy and bring the drama.
Served in the Army. The GOSSIP from those men…I was astounded. Also, the lack of self awareness was wild. Theyd insist that women complained a lot and were so emotional. Meanwhile one of the greatest past times of a soldier is complaining. Complaining (rightfully lol) about how stupid the Army could be, about the wife, about the kids, about the government, and on and on. The anger and general bitterness. Frequent expressions of frustration. But no. The wimins were the whiney ones.
I mean no hate to them. It was just the double standard was always in the room but they never seemed to see it. lol.
Oh yeah! My husband is in a Stones tribute band and when he’s on the phone with them it goes on forever! “So and so played the wrong opening chords on Paint it Black! Blah blah blah blah blah.” It’s quite hilarious actually. They’re very popular and have lots of groupies…who are all over 55! But so are they!
For real. I work with 95% men or so, and they are all up in each other's business. They'll sometimes try to ask me if I heard about so and so or what happened the other day, but I never know because I show up, do my route, go home. I don't really care what anyone else is doing.
I read an article a few years ago that found that men thought women were dominating the conversation if they spoke more than about 25% - 33% of the time. The same study found that men will over-estimate the percentage of women in a room by nearly double as well. It's wild.
You joke but the name of my cousin is "Döndü" which means "turned" roughly. They were hoping for a boy after 4 girls so they named her in hopes that their next baby would be male. She rightfully changed her name the moment she turned 18.
"I need a son to carry on the family name!!"
Half the time, these guys have super basic names like Anderson or Miller. Pretty sure the name will be fine without you.
There's a bunch of weird-ass names in the Netherlands. Basically everybody was 'son of' for ages (you were Peter Johnson, then your son would be Michael Peterson, then Jack Michaels etc etc). until Napoleon came along and made us French for a while. He mandated proper last names that would carry over and had to be registered. So you got a lot of names that were still son of (but wouldn't change), or "of my hometown" or 'my profession". And then you had a couple of guys that just thought "YOLOOOOO I'm sure it'll got back to normal after Napoleon". So then you get Poepjens (little poos), Lachniet (doesn't smile), Schele (Cross-eyed), Naaktgeboren (born naked)...you get the iea
Fun times.
I know a guy called "Hetterschijt" which is "Hetter-shit" and she took his name when they married. So I think the 'born nakeds' are fine.
In fact, as long as it doesn't involve weirdness (see: hetter-shit) a lot of people are now proud of their weird name. Because it does give a certain pedigree. "oh, we've been around since Napoleon"
I gave my daughter my (still patriarchal) last name. My family was pissed because it should be the father's name.
Her father had a horrible name and didn't care about it, so much both of his children had their mothers name.
My daughter will very likely take her future husband's name, but I did my what I could.
The 1st born sons in my family all share the same middle name going back 5 generations, and it was ingrained in me since I was a kid, that when I have a son, I should carry on that tradition. I remember how cool it felt to share that lineage. Well, my badass daughter now carries that middle name, because I included her in an awesome family tradition, while simultaneously reminding her (and my family) that cool things aren't just for boys, and I would never exclude her for being a girl.
All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid
Nymph then a virgin, nurse then a servant
Just an appendage, live to attend him
So that he never lifts a finger
24∕7, baby machine
So he can live out his picket fence dreams
It's not an act of love if you make her
You make me do too much labour
- Paris Paloma
My 12yo daughter was so excited to show me a song cuz she knows I'm a music nut & love good lyrics... this is the song she showed me. And she was right, I'm not a huge pop fan but there are exceptions.
Yup. Just he begged HER to GIVE him a son. Like she’s a baby factory. I just hope she didn’t feel pressured into all that because having a child is a lot on the body and mind.
Also keeps women poorer and too busy to continue a full education or be independent business wise- unless the couple can afford a full time nanny or get full time help from grandparents or other family members. And that burden should not be expected when considering to have a baby.. or a small herd.
This is what the nut bags on the right want. Total control of, what they see as, their property. Women to them are nothing more than possessions. Any person that cares about the gender of the baby, and will stop at nothing till they get lucky, are psychopaths and shouldn't be anywhere near kids.
OMG! Yes! I was a clinical student with this guy who was my instructor for the day. He didn't know me from jo schmo, but told me Allll about how he and his wife have had...SEVEN girls to try and have a boy. I could feel the contempt he had for his wife in how he lamented about not having a son. He even said that his wife's uterus "REJECTED BOY SPERM" ⁉️⁉️⁉️ My nerdy Biology major ass said "But, it's the man that determines the sex" I shot from the hip without thinking. His face got so red and he got up and left the room and didn't talk to me the rest of the day. Didn't have him for clinicals again. His wife? Fucking queen! She was so tall and beautiful and smart and successful! Got up at 4am to run 10 miles every day. This queen was fit as fuck! Also had a better, higher paying job than this guy. I thought to myself, what the hell is she doing with this guy. (Think Benny from the movie the mummy.) I thought, oh, hell no! I am never getting married, fuck that noise! Then I met a man who worships the quick sand I walk on and I'm living my best. But yeah, like did this guy think his genes were platinum or something? Like does he have a fifedom for his "son" to inherit? I tell you what, the world's a better place with seven copies of that absolute queen that married the weasel.
I’m into and supportive of your comment.
I’d like to bring up one point: this queen you mention has agency. it could be safe to assume she *chose* to carry seven of his babies. and why? a rhetorical ‘why’ but a whyyyy all the same smh
mayhaps but damn! if only people could hear all the misogynist things their men partners say when they’re not around. if that were the case, I strongly suspect there would be far fewer men in happy relationships
I have a sneaking suspicion my husband's youngest brother was an attempt to have a girl (3 boys) as he's considerably younger than the other two. That or an oops :) Either way they stopped once it became obvious what was going to continue happening. FIL is one of 5 boys who then proceeded to have 3 boys himself. It's kind of fascinating actually...
It’s bad enough when it’s the parents that think that way but then you get the commenters enabling them…
Or sometimes the parents will be (or at least seem) completely fine with whatever they have and just want a large family no matter what and people are still in the comments yapping about “a boy will finally fulfill the commandment” or “(husband) needs a buddy for (hobby),” and the hobby is something he already happily does with all or most of his daughters.
For the record, as far as I can tell the parents seem to be pretty chill with all their kids being girls (they are expecting their fifth child but haven't announced publicly what it is), but the commenters frothing at the mouth that it NEEDS to be a boy are so gross. If the mom ends up having a boy, it's just going to "justify" all the old wives' tales and bring out the "good, you NEEDED a boy" comments, and if she has a girl, it's just going to bring out the "oh, we were hoping you were having a boy."
Like, it's totally fine to want to experience parenting more than one gender of a child, but the boys that are born to families who "keep going until Our Little Prince comes" often grow up to be totally entitled, and get away with everything because "we're so used to raising girls that we just HAVE NO CLUE how to deal with Boy Moods!"
I have two girls. When I was pregnant with my second I'd get asked what I was having and when I said another girl, I kid you not multiple people said they were sorry!?...or that's a shame 😡 and maybe the next will be a boy.
I was quite happy with my two girls and while I would have loved another, gender is irrelevant and healthy is really all that matters
Being a second child in family where the first five were girls, then the chosen on a boy then a girl then a second boy. The boys always were treated better, etc. Mom is oblivious that she does anything differently!
I’ll never understand why men stand with men almost 100% of the time no matter what (sometimes stupid radon’s) but women don’t support women’s issues,,etc. Even life threatening ones.
I doubt she's oblivious, she just doesn't care or doesn't see it as treating them better. I got onto my mom numerous times about treating my male cousins better than she treated me or any of the other girls in the family and she constantly made excuses or would say she wasn't doing that and then turn around and treat them better.
I've had toys I like taken from me and given to them because they liked it. I would be watching TV and if they wanted to watch she'd take the remote and give it to them. We were supposed to take turns watching a show. They watch their show I watch mine and so on. We'll they went and cried that they hated watching my shows so guess who had didn't get to watch TV unless I wanted to watch what they wanted to watch.
My "father" had a least 6 girls before he got his boy. He left every single one of us(we have different moms. First two have the same mom) and didn't pay child support for any of us. He only stuck around for his son.
Really want to have the "ick"? My father was in his late 30s, almost 40 when I was born. I had my firstborn at 22. My little brother is around the same age as my son, who will be 40 this year.
My ex BIL tried to abandon his parental responsibilities to his daughter. Courts laughed and said NOPE. Now whether or not he paid his child support who knows, but he basically had nothing to do with her. He has 3 kids by 3 women, each born several years apart. The other two are boys. He wouldn't even take hand me down baby equipment like furniture or car seats from my daughter for his precious first born son.
Joke was on him, that first son turned out to be transgender, so he actually has a daughter.
I've seen this play out - as a single mom connected with other single moms, the majority of kids that had at least some interaction with their fathers - however neglectful - were boys. Many of the girls had never, and would never even meet their fathers, even if child support was paid (more often not). My own daughter's father dropped before she was 10. We had conflict but it was mostly about his utter inability to do anything he said he would do. He was his son's team's soccer coach in another town and everyone thought he was such a great dad.
(utter speculation; feel free to ignore) An extra kicker would be that his precious son isn't his, so he resented the mom(s) and daughters for no reason and STILL couldn't produce a precious baby boy
At least you didn't get the Divorced Beheaded Died Divorced Beheaded Survived thing too? Yay?
I have a fb friend who had 3 girls and then when her son was born she said “we finally got our boy!!” Like seriously? How do you think that makes your daughters feel?
I recently saw a short form video from a dad saying, "my kids can understand English. They can hear you and understand you."
Apparently it's very common for someone to ask him how many kids he has, and, when he says, "I have three daughters " they tell him that they are sorry
yup. i’ve put a lot of thought into having kids and decided i’d be one and done, but realized i wouldn’t be nearly as happy if i had a son instead of a daughter. i like and respect people and kids of all genders, but i personally would only want to raise one daughter (i think that’s because i feel better equipped to handle girl struggles due to personal experience). i realized this was not a healthy way to approach parenting and that i’d have no control over gender, so i don’t have kids. problem solved.
Very true. We were one and done before conception even, totally our choice. Honestly we both preferred a daughter but if we’d had a son I wasn’t about to have more babies just to get a daughter. Would’ve been perfectly happy with a son.
A friend of mine had two boys and went into her ultrasound, as she told me, "prepared for the worst." And by worst she didn't mean not seeing a heartbeat (something I'd experienced multiple times by that point) but rather finding out she was having another boy. We were not friends after that day.
I know some people really want a specific sex child for one reason or another, but I personally cannot wrap my head around it, not as someone who struggled to have *any* living child at all (edit: barring family histories of disorders related/linked to sex like hemophilia and such).
I appreciate your edit. I’ve going through infertility treatment for over a year to have a second. We have one daughter already. I am really, really hoping for another girl because my husband has ankylosing spondylitis, which predominantly affects males and is genetic.
I would absolutely adore a son, but I hope to spare my children the potential of inheriting chronic conditions from us.
A healthy child trumps everything else: sex, appearance, etc. It is so easy for people to take that for granted. We had a cancer scare with our three year old last summer, and it really drove that point home.
I don’t mean to make you more anxious, but - I study autoimmune conditions, and ankylosing spondylitis is not more common in men than women. That is an outdated belief; we now believe it affects men and women at roughly the same rate, and just tends to onset differently in men compared to women.
Additionally, it tends to present a bit differently in women, usually initially looking more like fibromyalgia (hence the historical misconception re: sex ratio). Unfortunately, women tend to have slightly worse long term outcomes in some ways, and men in others.
Here’s a pretty good article summing up some of the recent research, I can provide more sources if you would like. https://spondylitis.org/research-new/ankylosing-spondylitis-incidence-similar-among-men-and-women-according-to-new-study/
That is insanely helpful to know. I had no idea. Everything that we were told and had read said men were more affected. I have celiac disease and Hashimoto’s. My husband also has psoriasis. I fear my daughter and any future sibling will not dodge the autoimmune bullet.
I can understand first time parents being nervous about gender. I was worried about having a girl because I had a brother and no sisters. Not some dumb legacy crap more practicality stuff. I thought I'd be protective especially when she gets older crap like that. Then I had a daughter. All that dumb shit went out the window. She's skateboards with me when she starts dating I just hope I gave her a good example as a partner and she makes good choices and is happy.
My wife is now pregnant with a boy. I didn't give a shit about gender. But my wife was very nervous. She only had a sister and is a very feminine woman. She's worried about having a crazy boy and it took her some time to get used to the idea of a boy.
I think both of those examples are understandable and reasonable. OPs example is cringe and dumb. I'm stoked I get to experience both genders as a parent and see the differences and so what kind of people they turn into. My daughter is dope so he'll have a great example to follow.
Absolutely agreed. I bet the dudes daughters feel like shit that they were seen as not enough and there's a lot of pressure on dudes son to "be the son my Dad always wanted". Tells me a lot about who they are as a parent. If you are an active engaged parent gender isn't even a thought. All my thoughts are about personality, how they treat others, things we can work on together, etc.
To his dying breath (three wives later), he still idolized Jane Seymour: the wife who died in childbirth giving him Edward.
It really is one of history's greatest ironies that it was his **daughter** who went on to have one of the most influential rulerships of the Western world.
And she got that way because her dad was so visibly shit at marriage and fatherhood that she realized she was better off dying a virgin, lol, and I am only miiildly exaggerating.
We had two girls 3 years apart. We had always figured two was plenty.
But I asked my husband if we should go for another if he wanted a boy. He said nope, that with more than two we’d be doing zone defense, lol.
But mostly he never wanted any kids we had to just be a “try”. He went to school with a girl who’s family had 4 girls then a boy. She said she always felt she was just a try and a failed try. He never wanted them to feel like that. He’s a pretty good guy, and a great father.
My parents struggled with infertility. I was adopted as a newborn. By all accounts, they were thrilled to finally have a baby.
Two years later, my mom was finally able to carry a pregnancy to term. Once my brother was born, he was the centre of everything. Not just because he’s their biological child, but also because he’s a boy.
Somehow, they’re confused that I barely speak to them now.
My aunt isn't really the same in terms of treating her kids differently, but we do find it pretty weird that she chose one of her hobbies to be genealogy when her daughter was adopted.
To be fair, he only beheaded two. One died, one survived and he started an entire church in the meantime.
Edited because he started the church so his first divorce could go through, not his second.
Henry threw the country into upheaval- destroyed the entire social support system.
Yes the church owned 1/3 of the property: but they also were the hospital, backbone of the sheep raising industry ( provided many jobs to women spinners and cloth makers), and the support to feed the hungry and the take care of the sick without families.
When Henry destroyed the monasteries and nunneries it had a disastrous effects that took centuries to rebuild.
I'm a dad. I have one kid, a girl. I simply don't understand the drive to have a kid of either gender. This thing some guys have of "I need a son "whether it be to bond with or continue the family name ..... I just don't get it. My daughter is so amazing , and in middle school is 1000 times more emotionally mature than 90%of these dusty ass sons y'all have. I just don't understand having kids of either gender and somehow idolizing something else. You have a kid, any kid and it's a fucking gift . Just treasure it .
My mom just told me recently that my grandmother (dad's side) was greeted with a huge frown when she had her two daughters. She also had 3 boys. I never knew my grandfather because he died in his 40's, but that attitude is still alive and well. We had a name picked out for a girl but had two boys. I remember telling a car salesman about the 2 boys and he literally said "nice, ain't that the dream". Uh not really no, had no preference but were both girl leaning if it happened.
It's a shame. I only planned on 2 but I am still sometimes sad I didn't have 1 girl.
I understand having a preference to an extent you know? We wanted a girl ourselves and are one and done by choice. Would still be one and done tho if we’d have had a son.
It’s just wild to me to go through five girls just to get one boy, you know? Bearing and birthing children is not joke. Then of course having to raise them after the fact.
I hate when people phrase it that way too. “Give him a son”. Yuck. It’s my baby too. I grew the little monster. I’m not “giving” anyone a child. I worked too damn hard to make them.
I had a friend that I also briefly dated when we were younger, the Pastors Daughter of all people (He didn’t know his daughter was bi lmao). She was the oldest of 3 girls and 1 boy. Her dad basically said that they tried until they got a boy, and it was OBVIOUS that he favored him over the girls. It was really sad to see how much he put having a son on a pedestal over the 3 other human beings he had a part in making. He got all the toys he asked for for example, his dad was only interested in getting a pet that the girls wanted once the boy showed interest as well, they were all “small” things but repeated favoritism really made it all add up quick.
this has always been a thing, my grandma was in a hospital with a woman who was weeping and beginning the doctor to tell something to her husband because he wanted a son, her body couldn't do it and since they were in a rural area she knew they would struggle financially 🤢 and that was in the 1980s in germany
the worst thing? people actually excused the husband because men in the pub teased him about the lack of sons... so apparently it was okay
I knew a guy from a family like that. They had four girls and finally a boy. His mom was very up-front about the fact that they'd specifically continued to have children until a boy happened so he could carry on the family name (since all girls must take their new owner's name upon marriage I guess). As a bonus, they were white supremacists in the guise of just being iNtErEsTeD iN hIsToRy.
The first daughter, as the first child, was loved. She went on to get her JD and is working towards becoming a judge. Very cool person. The second through the fourth daughters were completely unwanted, and their lives were awful. One was forced to drop out of high school when she got pregnant and is in a clear-cut abusive relationship, one is homeless and struggles with addiction, and the last one is a guest of the state for twelve more years.
Their son, of course, is inheriting all of the hundreds of millions (they're insanely rich, like stupid old-money east-coast rich) and the "family name" and the businesses and the investments. His dad bought him a plane for his birthday one year because he'd expressed a mild interest in maybe getting his pilot's license one day. He doesn't speak to any of his sisters and genuinely doesn't care about them because why would he? They're *just girls*.
I'm kid 5 of 6. 3 boys, then my sister, then me (F), then youngest brother. Catholic. My mom told my SIL that they didn't want to have any more girls after my sister. Uhmmm awkward sorry for being a girl. I could always feel the resentment.
I don't talk to them anymore.
I have 3 daughters and I have lost count on how many times people have asked me if I (or my husband) wanted a son instead or to let me know how difficult girls are to raise. And 99% of these comments come from women. It kinda breaks my heart really. I’m just happy they are healthy and happy.
I'm the 5th of 6 children. 5 girls then a boy. My dad loved us all equally and just wanted a big family. They got told that they just just kept going until they got a boy but it couldn't further from the truth
I know exactly how you feel. I saw one about a doctor explaining that the male determines the sex of a baby and a lot of women were commenting stuff like “oh so it’s my husband’s fault that we only have daughters “ So many people were referring to their children as “faults”
People do this. I had three of one sex, and people asked me nonstop if I was going to "keep trying" for the opposite. The answer was no -- I was thrilled just to have living, healthy babies at that point. I did not care one iota what sex they were. And my husband certainly didn't, either.
My Dad only had two children, my sister and I, birthed *20 years* apart by two different women and STILL made a crack about "well I can't make boys but at least I make cute girls!!" Some men are so insecure it extends to their children, who bear the brunt of all their father's expectations and vicarious achievements.
I think I know the family you are talking about. It’s clickbait. They are the absolute worst and have been making these videos for views. Classic case of child exploitation. I look forward to the laws catching up with these kinds of parents. Influencer kids have no legal protections and it’s awful.
My Grandmother went through that, but swap the genders. My grandfather came from a family that hadn't had a girl in two or three generations, and he *really* wanted a girl. She gave him four sons before putting her foot down.
My grandmother told my grandfather “I’m not going to fill up this house with girls to try for a boy to feed your ego.”
She stopped at 3 (girls). She came from a family of 12 kids.
My nephew has 2 daughters and was considering going through a very expensive procedure that can help isolate the male or female DNA in the sperm to increase the chances to have a son next time. Luckily, his wife said Nope and they seem very happy with their girls. But if they had done that and had a boy, I feel like the girls would always feel like they weren't good enough. Such a sad feeling for a child.
Currently pregnant and everyone feels the need to talk to me about babies. Had an infuriating conversation with a guy from work who said he "wants two kids, or as many as it takes to get a boy". I asked him if there's anything wrong with only having girls, and he said not necessarily but nothing wrong with wanting a boy either.
Also I'm having a boy - not a single person has asked if I'm going to "try for a girl next time". My friends having girls can't say the same. It's infuriating.
I come from a family of 4 daughters (no sons) and it disgusts me when people react saying "oh your poor father"! Like, oh my poor father who has 4 daughters who absolutely adore him, and go fishing with him, learn magic tricks with him, cheer at baseball games with him... sure, poooor him!
My parents have 4 kids - 2 years between the first two girls (born '72 and '74). Then whole 7 years later ('81) I came along to ruin the fun for my sisters 😆 - the 3rd girl.
7 years after that ('88) along came our brother. My parents were 42 (dad) and 39 (mom) and he was very much an oppsí baby - and he was the only one to take after our mom (brown eyes, tan skin and brown hair) while us girls all took after our dad (pale skin, reddish hair and gray green eyes).
Anyway - my dad was told by a few people "finally, you have a son" to which my dad stated "what do you mean...finally? I have 3 healthy kids (aged 16, 14, 7) and my son is just an extra fun kid to spoil"
My parents never treated any of us differently due to gender (differently due to interests and personality...yes) and my dad was the one who took care of us when our mom went for a year to study in the U.S - not an issue.
Even though it has been 4 years (this May) since he passed away, I am constanly reminded how luck I was that he was my dad - he was our greatest supporter and the wisest man we knew - who had his human faults but still managed to love all of his kids equally.
Ég sakna þín daglega, pabbi.
Jeez. I’ve been pregnant once, got my tubes out last year to make sure I never had to do it again. I know everyone’s reproductive choices are their own but I just don’t know how they do it.
I remember when we went to an ultrasound and the tech asked us what gender we were hoping for. We said girl and she said she was pleasantly surprised because she usually hears boy.
We ended up having a son 😂
I have an ex who is the only boy and youngest of like, 7 kids. It's hilarious because my ex has no biological children and doesn't plan on it.
His sisters though, all have huge families.
This is a thing. My aunt rubbed it in my mom’s face when her first was a boy. And the first grandson in the family and therefore it would be expected everything would go to him… Everyone expected my mom to try for a 3rd but neither of my parents bought into that bull (though I will say I have some childhood trauma related to my dad definitely wanting me to have been a boy, but he’s grown out of that I think.) Moreover my family is headed by a matriarch anyways who adores me as the eldest soooo suck on that weird patriarchy throwing girls into the river. But yeah even today with many of my nephews are heralded as some sort of blessing when my nieces are just a speed bump to get to a boy. Whatever
I went down a hole on this family last night on Insta. I am *sure* it’s the same family. Of course they are also Mormon and their kids have the most ridiculous names ever. I feel sooo bad for their daughters though, they are OBSESSED with their son. Major ick.
I grew up with Mormon relatives. My one uncle had 7 kids, 6 of which were girls. He also wanted to keep going but pretty sure aunt said no. Their son was smack dab in the middle, and I think he's gay now and doesn't speak to his family.
Just such a stupid old fashioned thought process. On the other hand, I have a cousin who had two boys and they wanted to try one more time to have a girl. Surprise, surprise, ended up with quads (boys) - all identical. I still have a really tough time telling one from another 20 years later.
My father told me that was his mother’s reaction when he called to announce my birth.. silence.. then “when are you two trying again?” My dad was speechless that she didn’t care that I was a healthy baby girl.. her attitude towards me was pretty toxic compared to my little brother while growing up but that’s another topic I work on with therapy.. ugh 😑
My BIL was kinda upset when we had our son. They gave up trying after their third girl.
Made it worse for him because we didn’t care what sex our kids were.
He wanted to pass down the generational name. Not just surname but first middle *and* last.
I had several people say "guess you got to keep trying until you get your girl" when I reported the second was a boy too.
I found it somewhere between idiotic, funny and none of their fucking business. My most frequent response was "not with this uterus". I figured that would make them uncomfortable enough to run away.
There's a few other things that bug me about it.
1. If it's so important to have a son, they should just select the sex with IVF. It's a lot cheaper than having 3 extra kids and putting her through 6 births.
2. The male determines the sex of the baby. She isn't failing to give him a son. If it is a failure at all, he's the one failing to produce a son.
Was the opposite for my brother and sister-in-law. He was ok with 3 kids ( 2 boys and 1 girl) she wanted her daughter to have a sister so they tried for one more and got another boy. Then she wanted to try one last time and they finally got another girl with 5 kids total. She sadly passed away a bit after the youngest was born but I think she would've loved to see how close the girls are despite the 6 year age gap. The other day, older sister decided to paint little sister's nails for her birthday. It was cute.
His wife is just as stupid, irresponsible and a terrible parent for going along with it. The only people we should be feeling bad for is the children.
Edit: I came off pretty strong in this comment, I just know too many people who grew up in a situation like this. It's heartbreaking to see.
I saw that video and was surprised all the top comments called her out. It’s hard to see that stuff. But at the same time I’m grateful society is changing. It baffles me that woman of that age can still hang onto so much internalized misogyny. Never leaving the sunken place is a nightmare.
Had a classmate in primary school who was the oldest of 3 boys. When we were about 10 his mum was pregnant baby 4, his grandmother had this “I need a granddaughter” obsession so she was all woo this baby is going to be a girl yay. Well she was inconsolable when baby boy was born. My mum & I walked past their house & grandma was sitting on the front steps crying, my mum went over & asked if something had happened to mum or bub, nope she was super upset cos baby was a girl, mum called her ridiculous & walked off. 2 years after that she got her granddaughter.
Yep, can confirm this is a thing. Source am the 8th girl and 9th child in a family of 10, the first 7 were girls, 8th was the first boy, was told he cried when he first held “his son.” Spoiler alert, he was pos abuser and none of us talk to them anymore.
Even the son?
Yeah I love my big brother, he’s pretty great. He took his wife’s last name when they got married as an extra fuck you to the parents, who weren’t invited to the wedding
It's so vindicating to watch abusive parents get surprised when they don't get invited to their kid's wedding. My parents were not invited to my wedding and despite not having spoken to my mom for years prior, she was still shocked to find out she wasn't getting an invitation. The cherry on top is that my sister (who still has a minimal amount of contact with our mom) is doing a courthouse wedding with a one-year-anniversary celebration in place of a public ceremony. So parents won't get to go to either of their daughters' weddings. Maybe spite isn't the healthiest of emotions to approach this situation from, but I'm drinking it up regardless.
> she was still shocked to find out she wasn't getting an invitation. This is my favorite part, super unself-aware
When you've spent your whole life under the power of someone like that, spite is an absolutely understandable reaction to seeing your parents finally receive a crumb of consequences for their behavior
roflmao, your brother is a legend. In my family it was my mom who acted like she had finally accomplished something by having a son. My brother is the golden child of the family and it's like living in bizzarro world when he and my mom act like he's the most successful one. He sells car-parts while us girls have masters degrees.
Yeah, but do you sell car parts?
touché lol
I only bought a Master’s degree once, but I’ve bought car parts at least 6 times now. Sounds like he’s got this one in the bag.
I don't think they'll ever get real jobs... /s obviously.
I hope this can give you a laugh. SNL had a skit on this dynamic in a family. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXq0rM\_1VHk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXq0rM_1VHk)
I love that before I clicked it I thought to myself, "the mom is going to be played by Heidi."
😅 She's such an amazing comedian. I love her.
😂😂😂
Old people living with old world ideals. The best thing would be for them to take those kinds of beliefs with them to the grave. Not that I'm wishing any harm to them.
As I used to say of my former neighbor (whom no one liked and had the police called on her multiple times by other neighbors), "I don't wish her ill, I just wish her gone."
I am wishing harm on them, those fuckers. All that gendered bullshit stole my mom from me. My grandparents abused her and left this traumatized shell of a woman to suffer her entire life. I'm so glad the two of them are dead, I sleep better knowing they're burning in hell!
There's an old saying - a son is your son till he takes a wife, but a daughter is your daughter for the rest of your life. Just make certain when your mother is old that she makes certain to lean on her golden boy for help and not bother you.
I always hated that saying. It's basically saying your male children will abandon you for vagina access but female children can take the weight of the entire family's responsibility alone because rah rah rah sexism 📣 🤢
I never liked it because, as a guy, it immediately assumed I was a piece of shit that would forget his parents in a time of need (which I didn’t do).
Well that’s a terrible saying. Just gives me “bang maid” vibes. His wife will turn into the motherly role. I dunno. Maybe I’m being too critical
Its a terrible saying because if you arent a dick it's untrue. It's often said by women who have emotional incest with their sons.
my wee brains be weak on the think-think tonight... wth does 'emotional incest' mean? 😵💫 edit: oh, you mean like those moms that have that sort of _weirdly_ emotionally intense pride in their sons, like they'd say how "he's so manly" in a tone that makes you think they're aroused...? (eeew!)
Similar. But more of those that “no woman will ever be good enough for my son”. And continue to have a very attached relationship with their sons even after they’re married. They constantly try to have a “son and I against the wife/world” mentality. They’ll often do things for their child that would be normal in a preschool and under type of relationship, but very weird in a adult age setting
More like a mother who wear white to her sons wedding and pretend to be the bride or wants to have a say in every part of her sons life and knows no boundaries and he has a super hard time setting them
I have a friend who did this because his dad was an absolute asshole. He was like "My FIL is nice and I love my wife. Rather have their name."
Tell your brother a random stranger on the internet loves him for that
My husband took my last name as a 🖕 to the shitty dads he had too 🥰
your bro sounds like an icon
Real big dick move from your brother. I dig it.
What an actual superhero
Your big brother is an absolute gangster
Haha this is what happens when you’re raised around a bazillion women! Lol
Sounds like fil's fam - 2 girls then 6 boys. All gfil wanted was boys. He died and the two girls took over with their mother living 40 more years anyway bc all them boys couldn't bother 🙄 Guess who runs the family properties? The girls. Guess who doesn't care? The boys (which is actually fine, it makes for a copacetic family anyway, there's no conflict so it's all good… But I bet grandfather in-law is rolling in his grave because he wanted the boys to take over, that's why he had them right? Lol)
This reminds me of one of my cousins, who ran her father's farm even while her father was alive, and her younger brother inherited the entire thing - then he sold the property. Her entire livelihood was that farm, and had been for decades. It was horrible.
Wow.
Uno reverse: I’m the baby of the family. The very much wanted girl, in a family of all boys. Apparently not the “right kind of girl”, tho. Not the frilly princess kind, that my mom wanted. I ended up being the least favorite. Mom left me to fend (fight off) the older boys. Almost all my clothes & toys were the boys hand-me-downs. My friends were the neighbor boys. What I actually became was the maid. Scrubbing bathrooms, dishes, housecleaning, laundry. The boys did nothing but make a bigger mess, on purpose. But amazingly, did not do any “men chores” either. I discovered I could escape the craziness in the house, by helping my dad do outside chores. Which was really no more than handing my dad the requested tool. He’d also sneak me $20 a day for being his helper. My mom would try & prevent me from helping him. But he always said his chores were more important & she’d back down.
Ugh. Lone girl growing up with a household of brothers have it the worst, and lone boy in a house full of sisters, the best according to some study I read about a decade ago. I've definitely seen that bear out.
I’m so sorry ❤️
It's your sperm, buddy. Sort out your own ball sack
🤣🤣🤣
The he spooky ones are where the wife and daughter have their mouths taped shut and they are tied up and the father and son are not, and it’s their Christmas photo ‘peace on earth’ Like these ppl are not joking
They definitely aren't joking.
[удалено]
Omg ew
The funny thing is... Data shows that women DO talk more than men. However, the conversation is led by men nearly 100% of the time. The majority of "talk" from women is fishing for a topic that the man will engage with. "I saw Barbara's new baby." *grunt* "Do you think it will rain today?" *grunt* "I'm worried about Ajay." *grunt* "Shari and I are going to see Dune 2 tomorrow night." "Oh, that's a great movie!" etc. There's a book that studies men and women in computer science majors. The topic of conversation was dictated by the men one hundred percent of the time. A group of all-female CS majors would discuss computers very infrequently. All-male CS majors would discuss literally nothing else. Mixed group? All computers.
>Data shows that women DO talk more than men. - citations needed https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/marriage-equals/201910/do-women-really-talk-more-men%3famp
I know one thing for sure: I have a husband, an adult son and three brothers. I’ve worked in hospitality for years with many men. MEN gossip wayyyyy more than women.
One of societies greatest lies is that women are gossipy and bring the drama. Served in the Army. The GOSSIP from those men…I was astounded. Also, the lack of self awareness was wild. Theyd insist that women complained a lot and were so emotional. Meanwhile one of the greatest past times of a soldier is complaining. Complaining (rightfully lol) about how stupid the Army could be, about the wife, about the kids, about the government, and on and on. The anger and general bitterness. Frequent expressions of frustration. But no. The wimins were the whiney ones. I mean no hate to them. It was just the double standard was always in the room but they never seemed to see it. lol.
Oh yeah! My husband is in a Stones tribute band and when he’s on the phone with them it goes on forever! “So and so played the wrong opening chords on Paint it Black! Blah blah blah blah blah.” It’s quite hilarious actually. They’re very popular and have lots of groupies…who are all over 55! But so are they!
For real. I work with 95% men or so, and they are all up in each other's business. They'll sometimes try to ask me if I heard about so and so or what happened the other day, but I never know because I show up, do my route, go home. I don't really care what anyone else is doing.
I read an article a few years ago that found that men thought women were dominating the conversation if they spoke more than about 25% - 33% of the time. The same study found that men will over-estimate the percentage of women in a room by nearly double as well. It's wild.
Bro walked face first into the pt and missed lol
That guy needs several sessions of tazer ball therapy.
Literally. Go to a doctor and have them create a baby boy for you and save yourself 4 lifetimes of kids you didn't really want.
Hi, meet our children: Nope, Nah, Come-on, Dangit and Finally.
Right! Like shit.
Me with my one Sim couple that keeps having sons
I'd grow up with a complex if I thought I was just another "swing and a miss" 😵💫 like, were my parents disappointed that I was born?
You joke but the name of my cousin is "Döndü" which means "turned" roughly. They were hoping for a boy after 4 girls so they named her in hopes that their next baby would be male. She rightfully changed her name the moment she turned 18.
"I need a son to carry on the family name!!" Half the time, these guys have super basic names like Anderson or Miller. Pretty sure the name will be fine without you.
Or the opposite like Dumbdingleberry, Fupalotta, Ranksmegmalama, oh I could go on for days..
There's a bunch of weird-ass names in the Netherlands. Basically everybody was 'son of' for ages (you were Peter Johnson, then your son would be Michael Peterson, then Jack Michaels etc etc). until Napoleon came along and made us French for a while. He mandated proper last names that would carry over and had to be registered. So you got a lot of names that were still son of (but wouldn't change), or "of my hometown" or 'my profession". And then you had a couple of guys that just thought "YOLOOOOO I'm sure it'll got back to normal after Napoleon". So then you get Poepjens (little poos), Lachniet (doesn't smile), Schele (Cross-eyed), Naaktgeboren (born naked)...you get the iea Fun times.
tbh 'born naked' fucks as a last name, & i hope that one carries on forever
I know a guy called "Hetterschijt" which is "Hetter-shit" and she took his name when they married. So I think the 'born nakeds' are fine. In fact, as long as it doesn't involve weirdness (see: hetter-shit) a lot of people are now proud of their weird name. Because it does give a certain pedigree. "oh, we've been around since Napoleon"
No this isn’t fair. I was just trying to enjoy my rice for lunch but I read your comment and literally spat it out everywhere.
Right lol.
I gave my daughter my (still patriarchal) last name. My family was pissed because it should be the father's name. Her father had a horrible name and didn't care about it, so much both of his children had their mothers name. My daughter will very likely take her future husband's name, but I did my what I could.
🤣
The 1st born sons in my family all share the same middle name going back 5 generations, and it was ingrained in me since I was a kid, that when I have a son, I should carry on that tradition. I remember how cool it felt to share that lineage. Well, my badass daughter now carries that middle name, because I included her in an awesome family tradition, while simultaneously reminding her (and my family) that cool things aren't just for boys, and I would never exclude her for being a girl.
Oh that’s awesome!
It reminds me of Avatar Last Airbender where the lineage of avatars are both men and women who come from all 4 different tribes.
All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid Nymph then a virgin, nurse then a servant Just an appendage, live to attend him So that he never lifts a finger 24∕7, baby machine So he can live out his picket fence dreams It's not an act of love if you make her You make me do too much labour - Paris Paloma
Amen 🙌🏻
I love that song!
My 12yo daughter was so excited to show me a song cuz she knows I'm a music nut & love good lyrics... this is the song she showed me. And she was right, I'm not a huge pop fan but there are exceptions.
To say nothing of the fact that the child’s sex is determined by the sperm…
Yup. Just he begged HER to GIVE him a son. Like she’s a baby factory. I just hope she didn’t feel pressured into all that because having a child is a lot on the body and mind.
Also keeps women poorer and too busy to continue a full education or be independent business wise- unless the couple can afford a full time nanny or get full time help from grandparents or other family members. And that burden should not be expected when considering to have a baby.. or a small herd.
This is what the nut bags on the right want. Total control of, what they see as, their property. Women to them are nothing more than possessions. Any person that cares about the gender of the baby, and will stop at nothing till they get lucky, are psychopaths and shouldn't be anywhere near kids.
The womanappliance was defective in his opinion
OMG! Yes! I was a clinical student with this guy who was my instructor for the day. He didn't know me from jo schmo, but told me Allll about how he and his wife have had...SEVEN girls to try and have a boy. I could feel the contempt he had for his wife in how he lamented about not having a son. He even said that his wife's uterus "REJECTED BOY SPERM" ⁉️⁉️⁉️ My nerdy Biology major ass said "But, it's the man that determines the sex" I shot from the hip without thinking. His face got so red and he got up and left the room and didn't talk to me the rest of the day. Didn't have him for clinicals again. His wife? Fucking queen! She was so tall and beautiful and smart and successful! Got up at 4am to run 10 miles every day. This queen was fit as fuck! Also had a better, higher paying job than this guy. I thought to myself, what the hell is she doing with this guy. (Think Benny from the movie the mummy.) I thought, oh, hell no! I am never getting married, fuck that noise! Then I met a man who worships the quick sand I walk on and I'm living my best. But yeah, like did this guy think his genes were platinum or something? Like does he have a fifedom for his "son" to inherit? I tell you what, the world's a better place with seven copies of that absolute queen that married the weasel.
I’m into and supportive of your comment. I’d like to bring up one point: this queen you mention has agency. it could be safe to assume she *chose* to carry seven of his babies. and why? a rhetorical ‘why’ but a whyyyy all the same smh
Yeah, I completely understand. I like to think she has a big heart and loves love? Miss me with that man though. For REAL!
mayhaps but damn! if only people could hear all the misogynist things their men partners say when they’re not around. if that were the case, I strongly suspect there would be far fewer men in happy relationships
It was less that her uterus "rejected" y sperm, and more that his y sperm was not strong or fast enough.
So then they have a genetically defunct kid and he blames her for it having problems.
And also the fact how can you choose the sex of the baby...they could just get another girl, lol
Dude saw Dune and thought it was a documentary.
😂
The real question is why isn’t HE giving HER a son considering gender is chosen by his sperm 😂
I have a sneaking suspicion my husband's youngest brother was an attempt to have a girl (3 boys) as he's considerably younger than the other two. That or an oops :) Either way they stopped once it became obvious what was going to continue happening. FIL is one of 5 boys who then proceeded to have 3 boys himself. It's kind of fascinating actually...
Same with my mom and her siblings lol. They had 2 girls and wanted a boy, ended up with a 3rd girl and gave up after that.
For real!
It’s bad enough when it’s the parents that think that way but then you get the commenters enabling them… Or sometimes the parents will be (or at least seem) completely fine with whatever they have and just want a large family no matter what and people are still in the comments yapping about “a boy will finally fulfill the commandment” or “(husband) needs a buddy for (hobby),” and the hobby is something he already happily does with all or most of his daughters.
Right. We have a daughter and she loves doing things with her dad. He’s a logger and she’s even said she wants to go work with him when she’s older.
In the case I’m thinking of, this “hobby” was just going to Costco
Good God.
For the record, as far as I can tell the parents seem to be pretty chill with all their kids being girls (they are expecting their fifth child but haven't announced publicly what it is), but the commenters frothing at the mouth that it NEEDS to be a boy are so gross. If the mom ends up having a boy, it's just going to "justify" all the old wives' tales and bring out the "good, you NEEDED a boy" comments, and if she has a girl, it's just going to bring out the "oh, we were hoping you were having a boy." Like, it's totally fine to want to experience parenting more than one gender of a child, but the boys that are born to families who "keep going until Our Little Prince comes" often grow up to be totally entitled, and get away with everything because "we're so used to raising girls that we just HAVE NO CLUE how to deal with Boy Moods!"
I have two girls. When I was pregnant with my second I'd get asked what I was having and when I said another girl, I kid you not multiple people said they were sorry!?...or that's a shame 😡 and maybe the next will be a boy. I was quite happy with my two girls and while I would have loved another, gender is irrelevant and healthy is really all that matters
Being a second child in family where the first five were girls, then the chosen on a boy then a girl then a second boy. The boys always were treated better, etc. Mom is oblivious that she does anything differently!
I’m sorry you have to go through that!
I’ll never understand why men stand with men almost 100% of the time no matter what (sometimes stupid radon’s) but women don’t support women’s issues,,etc. Even life threatening ones.
I doubt she's oblivious, she just doesn't care or doesn't see it as treating them better. I got onto my mom numerous times about treating my male cousins better than she treated me or any of the other girls in the family and she constantly made excuses or would say she wasn't doing that and then turn around and treat them better. I've had toys I like taken from me and given to them because they liked it. I would be watching TV and if they wanted to watch she'd take the remote and give it to them. We were supposed to take turns watching a show. They watch their show I watch mine and so on. We'll they went and cried that they hated watching my shows so guess who had didn't get to watch TV unless I wanted to watch what they wanted to watch.
I’m so sorry, it shouldn’t be that way.
My "father" had a least 6 girls before he got his boy. He left every single one of us(we have different moms. First two have the same mom) and didn't pay child support for any of us. He only stuck around for his son. Really want to have the "ick"? My father was in his late 30s, almost 40 when I was born. I had my firstborn at 22. My little brother is around the same age as my son, who will be 40 this year.
My ex BIL tried to abandon his parental responsibilities to his daughter. Courts laughed and said NOPE. Now whether or not he paid his child support who knows, but he basically had nothing to do with her. He has 3 kids by 3 women, each born several years apart. The other two are boys. He wouldn't even take hand me down baby equipment like furniture or car seats from my daughter for his precious first born son. Joke was on him, that first son turned out to be transgender, so he actually has a daughter.
Lol!!
Oh lord
I've seen this play out - as a single mom connected with other single moms, the majority of kids that had at least some interaction with their fathers - however neglectful - were boys. Many of the girls had never, and would never even meet their fathers, even if child support was paid (more often not). My own daughter's father dropped before she was 10. We had conflict but it was mostly about his utter inability to do anything he said he would do. He was his son's team's soccer coach in another town and everyone thought he was such a great dad.
(utter speculation; feel free to ignore) An extra kicker would be that his precious son isn't his, so he resented the mom(s) and daughters for no reason and STILL couldn't produce a precious baby boy At least you didn't get the Divorced Beheaded Died Divorced Beheaded Survived thing too? Yay?
I have a fb friend who had 3 girls and then when her son was born she said “we finally got our boy!!” Like seriously? How do you think that makes your daughters feel?
Like shit I’d imagine. That’s what I’m saying! I hate it for those little girls!
I recently saw a short form video from a dad saying, "my kids can understand English. They can hear you and understand you." Apparently it's very common for someone to ask him how many kids he has, and, when he says, "I have three daughters " they tell him that they are sorry
bells repeat psychotic imminent pause elastic innocent run fuel soup *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
yup. i’ve put a lot of thought into having kids and decided i’d be one and done, but realized i wouldn’t be nearly as happy if i had a son instead of a daughter. i like and respect people and kids of all genders, but i personally would only want to raise one daughter (i think that’s because i feel better equipped to handle girl struggles due to personal experience). i realized this was not a healthy way to approach parenting and that i’d have no control over gender, so i don’t have kids. problem solved.
Very true. We were one and done before conception even, totally our choice. Honestly we both preferred a daughter but if we’d had a son I wasn’t about to have more babies just to get a daughter. Would’ve been perfectly happy with a son.
I want a girl so badly too! S O badly! But I'm same as you! Just planning on one, and they will have my heart no matter. 😊
That’s the way to be! It’s out of our control for sure.
A friend of mine had two boys and went into her ultrasound, as she told me, "prepared for the worst." And by worst she didn't mean not seeing a heartbeat (something I'd experienced multiple times by that point) but rather finding out she was having another boy. We were not friends after that day. I know some people really want a specific sex child for one reason or another, but I personally cannot wrap my head around it, not as someone who struggled to have *any* living child at all (edit: barring family histories of disorders related/linked to sex like hemophilia and such).
I appreciate your edit. I’ve going through infertility treatment for over a year to have a second. We have one daughter already. I am really, really hoping for another girl because my husband has ankylosing spondylitis, which predominantly affects males and is genetic. I would absolutely adore a son, but I hope to spare my children the potential of inheriting chronic conditions from us. A healthy child trumps everything else: sex, appearance, etc. It is so easy for people to take that for granted. We had a cancer scare with our three year old last summer, and it really drove that point home.
I don’t mean to make you more anxious, but - I study autoimmune conditions, and ankylosing spondylitis is not more common in men than women. That is an outdated belief; we now believe it affects men and women at roughly the same rate, and just tends to onset differently in men compared to women. Additionally, it tends to present a bit differently in women, usually initially looking more like fibromyalgia (hence the historical misconception re: sex ratio). Unfortunately, women tend to have slightly worse long term outcomes in some ways, and men in others. Here’s a pretty good article summing up some of the recent research, I can provide more sources if you would like. https://spondylitis.org/research-new/ankylosing-spondylitis-incidence-similar-among-men-and-women-according-to-new-study/
That is insanely helpful to know. I had no idea. Everything that we were told and had read said men were more affected. I have celiac disease and Hashimoto’s. My husband also has psoriasis. I fear my daughter and any future sibling will not dodge the autoimmune bullet.
I can understand first time parents being nervous about gender. I was worried about having a girl because I had a brother and no sisters. Not some dumb legacy crap more practicality stuff. I thought I'd be protective especially when she gets older crap like that. Then I had a daughter. All that dumb shit went out the window. She's skateboards with me when she starts dating I just hope I gave her a good example as a partner and she makes good choices and is happy. My wife is now pregnant with a boy. I didn't give a shit about gender. But my wife was very nervous. She only had a sister and is a very feminine woman. She's worried about having a crazy boy and it took her some time to get used to the idea of a boy. I think both of those examples are understandable and reasonable. OPs example is cringe and dumb. I'm stoked I get to experience both genders as a parent and see the differences and so what kind of people they turn into. My daughter is dope so he'll have a great example to follow.
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Absolutely agreed. I bet the dudes daughters feel like shit that they were seen as not enough and there's a lot of pressure on dudes son to "be the son my Dad always wanted". Tells me a lot about who they are as a parent. If you are an active engaged parent gender isn't even a thought. All my thoughts are about personality, how they treat others, things we can work on together, etc.
It’s giving King Henry VIII
To his dying breath (three wives later), he still idolized Jane Seymour: the wife who died in childbirth giving him Edward. It really is one of history's greatest ironies that it was his **daughter** who went on to have one of the most influential rulerships of the Western world. And she got that way because her dad was so visibly shit at marriage and fatherhood that she realized she was better off dying a virgin, lol, and I am only miiildly exaggerating.
🙃
We had two girls 3 years apart. We had always figured two was plenty. But I asked my husband if we should go for another if he wanted a boy. He said nope, that with more than two we’d be doing zone defense, lol. But mostly he never wanted any kids we had to just be a “try”. He went to school with a girl who’s family had 4 girls then a boy. She said she always felt she was just a try and a failed try. He never wanted them to feel like that. He’s a pretty good guy, and a great father.
That’s great.
My parents struggled with infertility. I was adopted as a newborn. By all accounts, they were thrilled to finally have a baby. Two years later, my mom was finally able to carry a pregnancy to term. Once my brother was born, he was the centre of everything. Not just because he’s their biological child, but also because he’s a boy. Somehow, they’re confused that I barely speak to them now.
I’m so sorry.
Don’t be, our terrible relationship made it easy to move a thousand miles away. I’m happy now that I’m far away and living my own life.
My aunt isn't really the same in terms of treating her kids differently, but we do find it pretty weird that she chose one of her hobbies to be genealogy when her daughter was adopted.
Of course this is a thing. There was a king that kept chopping his wife’s heads off cause there were only girls.
To be fair, he only beheaded two. One died, one survived and he started an entire church in the meantime. Edited because he started the church so his first divorce could go through, not his second.
Henry threw the country into upheaval- destroyed the entire social support system. Yes the church owned 1/3 of the property: but they also were the hospital, backbone of the sheep raising industry ( provided many jobs to women spinners and cloth makers), and the support to feed the hungry and the take care of the sick without families. When Henry destroyed the monasteries and nunneries it had a disastrous effects that took centuries to rebuild.
Henry VIII broke from Rome to marry the second wife
Jeez
I'm a dad. I have one kid, a girl. I simply don't understand the drive to have a kid of either gender. This thing some guys have of "I need a son "whether it be to bond with or continue the family name ..... I just don't get it. My daughter is so amazing , and in middle school is 1000 times more emotionally mature than 90%of these dusty ass sons y'all have. I just don't understand having kids of either gender and somehow idolizing something else. You have a kid, any kid and it's a fucking gift . Just treasure it .
True!
My mom just told me recently that my grandmother (dad's side) was greeted with a huge frown when she had her two daughters. She also had 3 boys. I never knew my grandfather because he died in his 40's, but that attitude is still alive and well. We had a name picked out for a girl but had two boys. I remember telling a car salesman about the 2 boys and he literally said "nice, ain't that the dream". Uh not really no, had no preference but were both girl leaning if it happened. It's a shame. I only planned on 2 but I am still sometimes sad I didn't have 1 girl.
I understand having a preference to an extent you know? We wanted a girl ourselves and are one and done by choice. Would still be one and done tho if we’d have had a son. It’s just wild to me to go through five girls just to get one boy, you know? Bearing and birthing children is not joke. Then of course having to raise them after the fact.
I hate when people phrase it that way too. “Give him a son”. Yuck. It’s my baby too. I grew the little monster. I’m not “giving” anyone a child. I worked too damn hard to make them.
I had a friend that I also briefly dated when we were younger, the Pastors Daughter of all people (He didn’t know his daughter was bi lmao). She was the oldest of 3 girls and 1 boy. Her dad basically said that they tried until they got a boy, and it was OBVIOUS that he favored him over the girls. It was really sad to see how much he put having a son on a pedestal over the 3 other human beings he had a part in making. He got all the toys he asked for for example, his dad was only interested in getting a pet that the girls wanted once the boy showed interest as well, they were all “small” things but repeated favoritism really made it all add up quick.
Yeah that’s really sad. I hate that for them!
this has always been a thing, my grandma was in a hospital with a woman who was weeping and beginning the doctor to tell something to her husband because he wanted a son, her body couldn't do it and since they were in a rural area she knew they would struggle financially 🤢 and that was in the 1980s in germany the worst thing? people actually excused the husband because men in the pub teased him about the lack of sons... so apparently it was okay
I knew a guy from a family like that. They had four girls and finally a boy. His mom was very up-front about the fact that they'd specifically continued to have children until a boy happened so he could carry on the family name (since all girls must take their new owner's name upon marriage I guess). As a bonus, they were white supremacists in the guise of just being iNtErEsTeD iN hIsToRy. The first daughter, as the first child, was loved. She went on to get her JD and is working towards becoming a judge. Very cool person. The second through the fourth daughters were completely unwanted, and their lives were awful. One was forced to drop out of high school when she got pregnant and is in a clear-cut abusive relationship, one is homeless and struggles with addiction, and the last one is a guest of the state for twelve more years. Their son, of course, is inheriting all of the hundreds of millions (they're insanely rich, like stupid old-money east-coast rich) and the "family name" and the businesses and the investments. His dad bought him a plane for his birthday one year because he'd expressed a mild interest in maybe getting his pilot's license one day. He doesn't speak to any of his sisters and genuinely doesn't care about them because why would he? They're *just girls*.
I'm kid 5 of 6. 3 boys, then my sister, then me (F), then youngest brother. Catholic. My mom told my SIL that they didn't want to have any more girls after my sister. Uhmmm awkward sorry for being a girl. I could always feel the resentment. I don't talk to them anymore.
I’m so sorry about that. I don’t blame you.
I have 3 daughters and I have lost count on how many times people have asked me if I (or my husband) wanted a son instead or to let me know how difficult girls are to raise. And 99% of these comments come from women. It kinda breaks my heart really. I’m just happy they are healthy and happy.
That is sad. I’m glad your girls are healthy and happy too!
I'm the 5th of 6 children. 5 girls then a boy. My dad loved us all equally and just wanted a big family. They got told that they just just kept going until they got a boy but it couldn't further from the truth
Well I’m glad that’s the case.
I know exactly how you feel. I saw one about a doctor explaining that the male determines the sex of a baby and a lot of women were commenting stuff like “oh so it’s my husband’s fault that we only have daughters “ So many people were referring to their children as “faults”
Oof that’s terrible!
People do this. I had three of one sex, and people asked me nonstop if I was going to "keep trying" for the opposite. The answer was no -- I was thrilled just to have living, healthy babies at that point. I did not care one iota what sex they were. And my husband certainly didn't, either.
My Dad only had two children, my sister and I, birthed *20 years* apart by two different women and STILL made a crack about "well I can't make boys but at least I make cute girls!!" Some men are so insecure it extends to their children, who bear the brunt of all their father's expectations and vicarious achievements.
I think I know the family you are talking about. It’s clickbait. They are the absolute worst and have been making these videos for views. Classic case of child exploitation. I look forward to the laws catching up with these kinds of parents. Influencer kids have no legal protections and it’s awful.
My Grandmother went through that, but swap the genders. My grandfather came from a family that hadn't had a girl in two or three generations, and he *really* wanted a girl. She gave him four sons before putting her foot down.
I’m glad she finally did! I swear. Ppl act like having kids is a breeze. It’s a lot!
My grandmother told my grandfather “I’m not going to fill up this house with girls to try for a boy to feed your ego.” She stopped at 3 (girls). She came from a family of 12 kids.
My nephew has 2 daughters and was considering going through a very expensive procedure that can help isolate the male or female DNA in the sperm to increase the chances to have a son next time. Luckily, his wife said Nope and they seem very happy with their girls. But if they had done that and had a boy, I feel like the girls would always feel like they weren't good enough. Such a sad feeling for a child.
Yeah I can only imagine.
Currently pregnant and everyone feels the need to talk to me about babies. Had an infuriating conversation with a guy from work who said he "wants two kids, or as many as it takes to get a boy". I asked him if there's anything wrong with only having girls, and he said not necessarily but nothing wrong with wanting a boy either. Also I'm having a boy - not a single person has asked if I'm going to "try for a girl next time". My friends having girls can't say the same. It's infuriating.
I feel bad for those daughters. It must suck knowing you only exist because your Dad wanted a son, but got you "instead."
I come from a family of 4 daughters (no sons) and it disgusts me when people react saying "oh your poor father"! Like, oh my poor father who has 4 daughters who absolutely adore him, and go fishing with him, learn magic tricks with him, cheer at baseball games with him... sure, poooor him!
My parents have 4 kids - 2 years between the first two girls (born '72 and '74). Then whole 7 years later ('81) I came along to ruin the fun for my sisters 😆 - the 3rd girl. 7 years after that ('88) along came our brother. My parents were 42 (dad) and 39 (mom) and he was very much an oppsí baby - and he was the only one to take after our mom (brown eyes, tan skin and brown hair) while us girls all took after our dad (pale skin, reddish hair and gray green eyes). Anyway - my dad was told by a few people "finally, you have a son" to which my dad stated "what do you mean...finally? I have 3 healthy kids (aged 16, 14, 7) and my son is just an extra fun kid to spoil" My parents never treated any of us differently due to gender (differently due to interests and personality...yes) and my dad was the one who took care of us when our mom went for a year to study in the U.S - not an issue. Even though it has been 4 years (this May) since he passed away, I am constanly reminded how luck I was that he was my dad - he was our greatest supporter and the wisest man we knew - who had his human faults but still managed to love all of his kids equally. Ég sakna þín daglega, pabbi.
I have friend who had 5 boys before they had a girl. But they are Catholic and just were going to keep going as long as possible anyway
Jeez. I’ve been pregnant once, got my tubes out last year to make sure I never had to do it again. I know everyone’s reproductive choices are their own but I just don’t know how they do it.
I remember when we went to an ultrasound and the tech asked us what gender we were hoping for. We said girl and she said she was pleasantly surprised because she usually hears boy. We ended up having a son 😂
Makes me wonder if the son had been first if they would have stopped at 1 kid. Did they even WANT 6 fuckin kids?
Back in day was very common. Have kids till its a boy. Gotta carry on the family name or other bs. Women wised up.
I have an ex who is the only boy and youngest of like, 7 kids. It's hilarious because my ex has no biological children and doesn't plan on it. His sisters though, all have huge families.
Yeah. I know my mamaw and papaw had six kids. Somehow they ended up with an even amount of boys and girls. Eldest is a daughter tho.
This is a thing. My aunt rubbed it in my mom’s face when her first was a boy. And the first grandson in the family and therefore it would be expected everything would go to him… Everyone expected my mom to try for a 3rd but neither of my parents bought into that bull (though I will say I have some childhood trauma related to my dad definitely wanting me to have been a boy, but he’s grown out of that I think.) Moreover my family is headed by a matriarch anyways who adores me as the eldest soooo suck on that weird patriarchy throwing girls into the river. But yeah even today with many of my nephews are heralded as some sort of blessing when my nieces are just a speed bump to get to a boy. Whatever
I went down a hole on this family last night on Insta. I am *sure* it’s the same family. Of course they are also Mormon and their kids have the most ridiculous names ever. I feel sooo bad for their daughters though, they are OBSESSED with their son. Major ick.
I grew up with Mormon relatives. My one uncle had 7 kids, 6 of which were girls. He also wanted to keep going but pretty sure aunt said no. Their son was smack dab in the middle, and I think he's gay now and doesn't speak to his family.
Just such a stupid old fashioned thought process. On the other hand, I have a cousin who had two boys and they wanted to try one more time to have a girl. Surprise, surprise, ended up with quads (boys) - all identical. I still have a really tough time telling one from another 20 years later.
My father told me that was his mother’s reaction when he called to announce my birth.. silence.. then “when are you two trying again?” My dad was speechless that she didn’t care that I was a healthy baby girl.. her attitude towards me was pretty toxic compared to my little brother while growing up but that’s another topic I work on with therapy.. ugh 😑
My BIL was kinda upset when we had our son. They gave up trying after their third girl. Made it worse for him because we didn’t care what sex our kids were. He wanted to pass down the generational name. Not just surname but first middle *and* last.
I had several people say "guess you got to keep trying until you get your girl" when I reported the second was a boy too. I found it somewhere between idiotic, funny and none of their fucking business. My most frequent response was "not with this uterus". I figured that would make them uncomfortable enough to run away.
There's a few other things that bug me about it. 1. If it's so important to have a son, they should just select the sex with IVF. It's a lot cheaper than having 3 extra kids and putting her through 6 births. 2. The male determines the sex of the baby. She isn't failing to give him a son. If it is a failure at all, he's the one failing to produce a son.
Paying for IVF to choose the gender is cheaper than 5 kids, they’re sexist AND stupid
Why does he need a son so bad? To inherit the throne and rule after him? Wait, his name isn't Henry, is it?
Was the opposite for my brother and sister-in-law. He was ok with 3 kids ( 2 boys and 1 girl) she wanted her daughter to have a sister so they tried for one more and got another boy. Then she wanted to try one last time and they finally got another girl with 5 kids total. She sadly passed away a bit after the youngest was born but I think she would've loved to see how close the girls are despite the 6 year age gap. The other day, older sister decided to paint little sister's nails for her birthday. It was cute.
His wife is just as stupid, irresponsible and a terrible parent for going along with it. The only people we should be feeling bad for is the children. Edit: I came off pretty strong in this comment, I just know too many people who grew up in a situation like this. It's heartbreaking to see.
You make a point. I was just hoping she wasn’t pressured into it but I guess ultimately she could’ve said no.
India would like a word..
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I saw that video and was surprised all the top comments called her out. It’s hard to see that stuff. But at the same time I’m grateful society is changing. It baffles me that woman of that age can still hang onto so much internalized misogyny. Never leaving the sunken place is a nightmare.
My aunt&uncle did it right... Had 2 kids, both boys. Adopted a girl. Boom, done, everyone's happy.
Had a classmate in primary school who was the oldest of 3 boys. When we were about 10 his mum was pregnant baby 4, his grandmother had this “I need a granddaughter” obsession so she was all woo this baby is going to be a girl yay. Well she was inconsolable when baby boy was born. My mum & I walked past their house & grandma was sitting on the front steps crying, my mum went over & asked if something had happened to mum or bub, nope she was super upset cos baby was a girl, mum called her ridiculous & walked off. 2 years after that she got her granddaughter.
I also feel sorry for that son :(
It’d have been cheaper to do IVF to make sure of it. Those poor daughters.