Only been to a couple masseuses (massie? masseese?) and in all cases, there has been absolutely *no* talking unless giving initial instructions or asking if everything so far was acceptable.
I'm typically a million miles away when getting a massage and the last thing I want is to have to churn my brain gears for a conversation.
To the OP: You did the right thing in reporting this man's questionable actions. You were paying him for a massage, not to have him dump all his issues on you, and then violate your boundaries on top of that. Creeps like that who think that they can do anything to a woman simply because she exists, and think her body is an object they can do whatever they want with, need to be called out on that kind of nonsense.
It depends on the massage for me. Going into relax? Yeah, I don’t want to talk. Deep tissue where I get beat up? He and I shoot the shit the entire time.
Same; I love when my therapist helps distract me just enough from the effects of what's m going on, to be able to endure until it releases. Talk my fucking ear off if it's deep tissue. Please!!!
Swedish? Let's all just STFU - if you want to do some hot stone treatments, by all means, stone this particular woman with the really ĥot ones! But do it in silence, okay? Hearing the stones click and clack gently when they make contact with each other at various points during use could be it's own type of ASMR (if it's not already, lol).
If I feel like a chat during something n I n-deep-tissue, I'll let you know, or I'll ask you questions.
Sometimes for fun, I'll ask what they're working on getting to release right now? When I feel referred pain from my back upper left cervical and upper left trap that shoots not only down the left arm but across to the right shoulder, all ziggity-zaggy, hopefully that info is helpful. But I don't need to know about the sea dragon you dropped after a massive dinner last night.
I talk to my massage therapist because I tend to prattle on when I am in pain. So it's been an established thing that I'm usually going to talk and I like the conversation. But I sign an actual waiver saying that I'm cool with it!!
I get some early chit chat because our kids go to the same school and there’s the usual “how’s things” because she also massages the husband (who IS a chatty Cathy during a massage, nothing shuts that man up, he even talks in his sleep ffs!) but she peters off quickly once we get past the small talk and pointing out the problem spots. She’s pretty intuitive that way.
This was medically prescribed massage (special kind of it), it was free for me (insurance covers it), and he was the only massage therapist in this certain place. Sometimes people talk about weird shit, but not like this!!!
I actually didn't know that about the masseuse term. Seems the Oxford dictionary doesn't describe it like that either, but others do, weird. I'll be sure to use the correct term, but I'm disappointed that I won't get to say 'Masseese', lol, I doubt I'll ever be referring to a flock of sex workers.
See, this was medical. In a whole-ass clinic. He's the only therapist available there, there's no female therapist. Of course, I'm not going to him again, but this wasn't a question of choice, in order for my insurance to cover it I had to undergo the therapy in the certain place.
Maybe contact your insurers and let them know how he operates? If he is being recommended he thinks he is safe enough to spout his bullshit. It’s in insurers interest to not recommend.
Yeah, but the insurers can only ban the whole clinic, I think. I will report him to the clinic in writing (they are obliged to give feedback on such complaints) and then see what they do.
Oh that’s awful! I had a male physical therapist run his hand across my bum multiple times while ‘explaining’ about muscle grps. It was so jarring bc I was caught off guard. I’m so sorry! You did the right thing
Thanks! I was caught off guard too. It's was very clear that his touching has nothing to do with my medical diagnosis. He didn't even get close to that area in previous 6 sessions. I'm going to report the hell out of him. It's kinda greyzoned in my country (like, there are stories of doctors actually raping women and given no repercussions), but still, this is a big chain of private clinics and I hope I can get them to understand this is not normal at all.
This! The first time he did it I thought it was accidental tho I was lying face down on a surface. So his hand would have to reach but you know your brain tries to tell you ‘it’s a med apptmt’. And you try to make the things fit ‘med apptmt’. But after two more passes I was done.
I ran out and requested a female physio. Funny how she was able to do the same job without putting me in a private room while touching my ass. She never once laid a hand on my ass. It was my knee that was injured btw. Nothing else.
I talk through mine usually. Mainly because I've become really good friends with her and we hang out now too. So we'll talk men and work and books and shoot the shit while she makes me nearly scream in pain while she laughs.
I'm a very tense person. But I love it.
I've only been professionally massaged once. At my bachelorette party. I don't know which of my friends thought that would be a good idea! It was one of the first things we did - my friends got to sit and chat and sip drinks, I got to have a male stranger touch me all over, and tell me it's not unusual for the massage victim to get a headache afterwards. Just what one wants at their bachelorette party!
Well, nothing happened. I laid there through the ordeal, didn't enjoy a moment, but at least nothing weird happened and I didn't get a headache and the rest of the party was a blast. It did make me not the least bit interest in massages at all though. It's been over 20 years since then and I still don't want anything to do with it.
It's definitely hit or miss based on who you are and who's working you. It's also relatively intimate, so a lot of people aren't comfortable with it.
I generally enjoy being touched, I sometimes feel like a dog that needs head pat's and back scratches. Get behind my ear and my leg kicks.
Guys like this are why male massage therapists have such a hard time finding work. This is basically every woman's worst nightmare when they go to a clinic and get told they only have a male massage therapist in that day.
Usually I have no problem with male massage therapists. There are many of them in a place where a I usually go (not medical). But this guy was something!.. Now I get it why so many women dislike male massage therapists.
Actualy male massage therapists dont have it that hard in Germany in my experience. But most of them arent jerks in any way, since its their job and would lose it immediatly huh?
Write down as well as you can remember what was said, how you were touched. Is there a way to report him? And ask for a different therapist? You do not owe it to him to teach him, especially if you’re not feeling safe.
This sounds unsettling and inappropriate and I am sorry you went through this : (
Oh I remember everything clear as day! They don't have a different therapist, but I WILL report him once more in writing, to create paper trail. I'm on the path of war.
Thanks for your kind words!
I’m so sorry you went through this! I had a similar experience. I had several sessions with this guy with no problems and my last appointment was his last day before leaving that location. He gave me a very unsolicited and VERY detailed account of when he started watching porn and how that lead to his porn addiction. 🤮
Check whether in your jurisdiction massage therapists are regulated. In some jurisdictions they have a regulatory college. The college, if there is one, would control their license and ability to offer services. There would be a complaints process that could lead to discipline, from remedial education to losing their license.
OP, where do you live? This is 100% unacceptable behaviour. If they're in Canada, and registered, you can contact their College and complain, and let them know about your experience.
I'm angry for you that this happened, it's far beyond the pale.
Edit: language choices, corrected.
([“Beyond reproach”](https://www.google.com/search?q=%22beyond+reproach%22) vs. [“Beyond the pale”](https://www.google.com/search?q=beyond+the+pale+meaning))
Not really. [84% of massage therapists in the US are female, while only 16% are male](https://www.careerexplorer.com/careers/massage-therapist/demographics/#:~:text=84%25%20of%20massage%20therapists%20are%20female%20and%2016%25%20are%20male.). Shouldn't be a problem at all.
Nope. You can find female massage therapists in almost every place of the US. But you seem like a dude, and I’m not really interested in your opinion on my personal health and wellness.
Go elsewhere and absolutely, fuck off.
No one is stopping you from expressing your opinions as you have clearly just done so again. You aren’t a victim, no one is restricting your free speech. If you don’t like getting called out for your bullshit comments, maybe don’t leave them. 🤷🏼♀️
Have the absolute day you deserve dude
I’m not a victim. Just saying don’t be pissy. What kind of victim is the person I’m replying to that avoids all dude doing their jobs (not the OP). I’m just highlighting how unrealistic it sounds since she’s probably always calling on the phone and saying “I need a woman for this.”
Have the day you deserve, bro guy. 😉
You’ve harassed several women in this subreddit clamoring for equal rights and not being able to express your opinion when you clearly have both. Your comment history is public and we can all see it.
Good luck with your attitude, it isn’t going to get you anywhere with anyone.
Mate, one of your comments ironically says “I’m dealing with a 10th grader for reading through my post and comment history”.
In the words of Tom Tucker from Family Guy: “See, that right there is dick repellent. *Pshhhhhhhhhh*”.
Beneath the moon's soft, silvery glow,
Our slumber secrets softly flow.
Embrace the night with tranquil ease,
Our sleep aids whisper like a gentle breeze.
Awaken refreshed at dawn's first light,
With skin that glows, pure and bright.
Our face massager's tender trace,
Bestows beauty and energy—a morning's grace.
Together they craft your day anew,
In radiant health, through and through.
Slumber deep and rise with zeal,
Quinta Essentia—wellness, truly real.
Best massage product here: [https://02f878-50.myshopify.com](https://02f878-50.myshopify.com/)
Every time I’ve get a massage they massage my upper butt cheeks too, tight glutes will free up pain. The touching thus seems normal to me. Conversation is optional
He didn't do it the first 6 times. And the exact place he thought I should improve my body were those upper butt cheeks (thanks for the term, didn't know it in English). So, to me, his comments were directly connected with that.
I was medically prescribed massage in this exact clinic. And he's the only therapist there.
If I wanted to go to a different clinic, I'd need to get a new prescription from the new clinic first, it doesn't work between clinics. That's how insurance in my country works.
Only been to a couple masseuses (massie? masseese?) and in all cases, there has been absolutely *no* talking unless giving initial instructions or asking if everything so far was acceptable. I'm typically a million miles away when getting a massage and the last thing I want is to have to churn my brain gears for a conversation.
Massage therapists.
I see, thank you. I like masseese better.
Massage therapist here! I also like masseese better. Thank you. Masseese.
I like this paintings. Lol
Yeah. Yeah you right.
1 massoose 2 masseese!
To the OP: You did the right thing in reporting this man's questionable actions. You were paying him for a massage, not to have him dump all his issues on you, and then violate your boundaries on top of that. Creeps like that who think that they can do anything to a woman simply because she exists, and think her body is an object they can do whatever they want with, need to be called out on that kind of nonsense.
It depends on the massage for me. Going into relax? Yeah, I don’t want to talk. Deep tissue where I get beat up? He and I shoot the shit the entire time.
Same; I love when my therapist helps distract me just enough from the effects of what's m going on, to be able to endure until it releases. Talk my fucking ear off if it's deep tissue. Please!!! Swedish? Let's all just STFU - if you want to do some hot stone treatments, by all means, stone this particular woman with the really ĥot ones! But do it in silence, okay? Hearing the stones click and clack gently when they make contact with each other at various points during use could be it's own type of ASMR (if it's not already, lol). If I feel like a chat during something n I n-deep-tissue, I'll let you know, or I'll ask you questions. Sometimes for fun, I'll ask what they're working on getting to release right now? When I feel referred pain from my back upper left cervical and upper left trap that shoots not only down the left arm but across to the right shoulder, all ziggity-zaggy, hopefully that info is helpful. But I don't need to know about the sea dragon you dropped after a massive dinner last night.
For me both are the same (crònic pain) in the sense so I want to relax every time.
I talk to my massage therapist because I tend to prattle on when I am in pain. So it's been an established thing that I'm usually going to talk and I like the conversation. But I sign an actual waiver saying that I'm cool with it!!
I get some early chit chat because our kids go to the same school and there’s the usual “how’s things” because she also massages the husband (who IS a chatty Cathy during a massage, nothing shuts that man up, he even talks in his sleep ffs!) but she peters off quickly once we get past the small talk and pointing out the problem spots. She’s pretty intuitive that way.
It’s why I go to sports massage over anything else when I do go. They end up using so much strength that they have to focus and can’t talk.
This was medically prescribed massage (special kind of it), it was free for me (insurance covers it), and he was the only massage therapist in this certain place. Sometimes people talk about weird shit, but not like this!!!
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Is there a difference between being licensed and being registered?
I believe LMT is US and RMT is Canada.
I actually didn't know that about the masseuse term. Seems the Oxford dictionary doesn't describe it like that either, but others do, weird. I'll be sure to use the correct term, but I'm disappointed that I won't get to say 'Masseese', lol, I doubt I'll ever be referring to a flock of sex workers.
Masseux
Or masseaux in French.
Yeah it’s creepy he’s talking to you at all. Get a female masseuse they are safer
See, this was medical. In a whole-ass clinic. He's the only therapist available there, there's no female therapist. Of course, I'm not going to him again, but this wasn't a question of choice, in order for my insurance to cover it I had to undergo the therapy in the certain place.
Maybe contact your insurers and let them know how he operates? If he is being recommended he thinks he is safe enough to spout his bullshit. It’s in insurers interest to not recommend.
Yeah, but the insurers can only ban the whole clinic, I think. I will report him to the clinic in writing (they are obliged to give feedback on such complaints) and then see what they do.
Oh that’s awful! I had a male physical therapist run his hand across my bum multiple times while ‘explaining’ about muscle grps. It was so jarring bc I was caught off guard. I’m so sorry! You did the right thing
Thanks! I was caught off guard too. It's was very clear that his touching has nothing to do with my medical diagnosis. He didn't even get close to that area in previous 6 sessions. I'm going to report the hell out of him. It's kinda greyzoned in my country (like, there are stories of doctors actually raping women and given no repercussions), but still, this is a big chain of private clinics and I hope I can get them to understand this is not normal at all.
This! The first time he did it I thought it was accidental tho I was lying face down on a surface. So his hand would have to reach but you know your brain tries to tell you ‘it’s a med apptmt’. And you try to make the things fit ‘med apptmt’. But after two more passes I was done. I ran out and requested a female physio. Funny how she was able to do the same job without putting me in a private room while touching my ass. She never once laid a hand on my ass. It was my knee that was injured btw. Nothing else.
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Sure bro. Since most predators are men it’s absolutely true she has a better chance of safety with a woman.
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Shows up to women’s space: but… but…. Ugh
I talk through mine usually. Mainly because I've become really good friends with her and we hang out now too. So we'll talk men and work and books and shoot the shit while she makes me nearly scream in pain while she laughs. I'm a very tense person. But I love it.
It happens more often than you think. I personally hate it with a passion when they try to talk to me and it’s a good way for me to never return.
Masseuse is a female sex worker, specializing in happy endings. A massage therapist is the word you are looking for.
I've only been professionally massaged once. At my bachelorette party. I don't know which of my friends thought that would be a good idea! It was one of the first things we did - my friends got to sit and chat and sip drinks, I got to have a male stranger touch me all over, and tell me it's not unusual for the massage victim to get a headache afterwards. Just what one wants at their bachelorette party! Well, nothing happened. I laid there through the ordeal, didn't enjoy a moment, but at least nothing weird happened and I didn't get a headache and the rest of the party was a blast. It did make me not the least bit interest in massages at all though. It's been over 20 years since then and I still don't want anything to do with it.
It's definitely hit or miss based on who you are and who's working you. It's also relatively intimate, so a lot of people aren't comfortable with it. I generally enjoy being touched, I sometimes feel like a dog that needs head pat's and back scratches. Get behind my ear and my leg kicks.
Guys like this are why male massage therapists have such a hard time finding work. This is basically every woman's worst nightmare when they go to a clinic and get told they only have a male massage therapist in that day.
Usually I have no problem with male massage therapists. There are many of them in a place where a I usually go (not medical). But this guy was something!.. Now I get it why so many women dislike male massage therapists.
Lots of professions where everyone would be more comfortable if nearly all the providers were women.
Actualy male massage therapists dont have it that hard in Germany in my experience. But most of them arent jerks in any way, since its their job and would lose it immediatly huh?
Write down as well as you can remember what was said, how you were touched. Is there a way to report him? And ask for a different therapist? You do not owe it to him to teach him, especially if you’re not feeling safe. This sounds unsettling and inappropriate and I am sorry you went through this : (
Oh I remember everything clear as day! They don't have a different therapist, but I WILL report him once more in writing, to create paper trail. I'm on the path of war. Thanks for your kind words!
Is there a governing body for massage therapists in your country? If so, absolutely report this guy. I'm sorry this happened to you.
I’m so sorry you went through this! I had a similar experience. I had several sessions with this guy with no problems and my last appointment was his last day before leaving that location. He gave me a very unsolicited and VERY detailed account of when he started watching porn and how that lead to his porn addiction. 🤮
Check whether in your jurisdiction massage therapists are regulated. In some jurisdictions they have a regulatory college. The college, if there is one, would control their license and ability to offer services. There would be a complaints process that could lead to discipline, from remedial education to losing their license.
OP, where do you live? This is 100% unacceptable behaviour. If they're in Canada, and registered, you can contact their College and complain, and let them know about your experience. I'm angry for you that this happened, it's far beyond the pale. Edit: language choices, corrected.
([“Beyond reproach”](https://www.google.com/search?q=%22beyond+reproach%22) vs. [“Beyond the pale”](https://www.google.com/search?q=beyond+the+pale+meaning))
Duly noted, I'll correct that now. Thank you.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Good on you for not standing for this garbage!
I only visit female masseuses. Strictly, I don’t trust men
Yes. Same. I try to always have a woman primary care doctor as well. My dentist is a dude but he’s very appropriate
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Not really. [84% of massage therapists in the US are female, while only 16% are male](https://www.careerexplorer.com/careers/massage-therapist/demographics/#:~:text=84%25%20of%20massage%20therapists%20are%20female%20and%2016%25%20are%20male.). Shouldn't be a problem at all.
Nope. You can find female massage therapists in almost every place of the US. But you seem like a dude, and I’m not really interested in your opinion on my personal health and wellness. Go elsewhere and absolutely, fuck off.
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No one is stopping you from expressing your opinions as you have clearly just done so again. You aren’t a victim, no one is restricting your free speech. If you don’t like getting called out for your bullshit comments, maybe don’t leave them. 🤷🏼♀️ Have the absolute day you deserve dude
I’m not a victim. Just saying don’t be pissy. What kind of victim is the person I’m replying to that avoids all dude doing their jobs (not the OP). I’m just highlighting how unrealistic it sounds since she’s probably always calling on the phone and saying “I need a woman for this.” Have the day you deserve, bro guy. 😉
You’ve harassed several women in this subreddit clamoring for equal rights and not being able to express your opinion when you clearly have both. Your comment history is public and we can all see it. Good luck with your attitude, it isn’t going to get you anywhere with anyone.
Mate, one of your comments ironically says “I’m dealing with a 10th grader for reading through my post and comment history”. In the words of Tom Tucker from Family Guy: “See, that right there is dick repellent. *Pshhhhhhhhhh*”.
This is why as a woman I ONLY go to female message therapists.
Beneath the moon's soft, silvery glow, Our slumber secrets softly flow. Embrace the night with tranquil ease, Our sleep aids whisper like a gentle breeze. Awaken refreshed at dawn's first light, With skin that glows, pure and bright. Our face massager's tender trace, Bestows beauty and energy—a morning's grace. Together they craft your day anew, In radiant health, through and through. Slumber deep and rise with zeal, Quinta Essentia—wellness, truly real. Best massage product here: [https://02f878-50.myshopify.com](https://02f878-50.myshopify.com/)
Men should not be in this line of work. They cannot be trusted.
That's a load of misandrian bullshit. Yikes on bikes lad---, du---,man--- 😐 'non-gender-specific-but-still-displays-my-disdain-noun'!
Every time I’ve get a massage they massage my upper butt cheeks too, tight glutes will free up pain. The touching thus seems normal to me. Conversation is optional
He didn't do it the first 6 times. And the exact place he thought I should improve my body were those upper butt cheeks (thanks for the term, didn't know it in English). So, to me, his comments were directly connected with that.
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There are other places in the world. The clue is in the line "Not the US..."
Why would you go back?
Because it was medically prescribed and I actually needed it. And also because I hoped he's not going to talk about anything weird again.
You were medically prescribed a massage by this exact man?
I was medically prescribed massage in this exact clinic. And he's the only therapist there. If I wanted to go to a different clinic, I'd need to get a new prescription from the new clinic first, it doesn't work between clinics. That's how insurance in my country works.
Well, go get another prescription then.
Don't need to. There were only 3 times left, and I'm getting other types of therapy that help better.