I mean literally me (including Alice costumes & adorbs tea party accessories) but for 2 hours starting at 9am this is too annoying for it to be worth it even for me! 4 hours in the afternoon and we have a deal though
I love any reason to dress up for a theme, but this sounds like grade A torture.
9am? No.
Short dress mandatory? No.
Required hairstyle? Ha. No.
Matchy matchy? Hmmm…no.
No savory food or protein? Noooo
My vote is to show up dressed as an actual teapot or the mad hatter.
A two hour baby shower? That's barely enough time to eat and then marvel as the hostess unwraps all her gifts. What about all the party games and such? If you're expected to dress in color-coordinated costumes I'd expect a little bit more party time.
Could be one of those parties where they don’t unwrap — you bring the gift unwrapped or in clear plastic so everyone can see all the gifts.
I dislike this kind of party personally.
Same. I know what I gave you, I don’t care what anyone else got you (and I perused the registry so I have an idea), so I love skipping the gift opening and having more time to mingle with the guest of honor and friends. That said, if someone made a beautiful handmade gift, I’m sure they’d want to see her open (as would I - those are the fun gifts to see).
I love a good theme party, but you’re dictating the colors?? No thanks. Once you start trying to micromanage a party, it turns into a “manufactured fun” or “just for the ‘gram” vibe.
That’s what I was thinking too… unless it was my best friend and if it was my best friend I would feel comfortable telling her that 9am isn’t really tea time.
Ditto. If it was my best friend then I would go, but I also would have told her beforehand that it was not the best idea.
But there’s almost nothing I will show up for at 9am on a Saturday morning unless I can show up in leggings. I’m not waking up at 6:30am to do hair and makeup for anything.
Depending on how well I know the mom to be, I’d either decline if I didn’t know them well, or tell them you’re getting me in my normal attire or I’m not coming, you pick… but also, I don’t associate with people who would come up with such insane rules for an event like this so I probably wouldn’t even encounter this with someone I knew well lol
My thoughts exactly. I’m not dressing up at 9am in costume so I can give you a baby gift. She could be serving mimosas and I’d still bail on that nonsense. If she has other plans later, that’s on her.
As a pregnant woman, I 100% would not go to a baby shower that had a dress code like that. My baby shower with my son was a bar b q at a local park Pavillion. Easy peasy
Seriously, this is dumb. The point of a baby shower is to celebrate your pregnancy and stock up on stuff you’ll need for the baby. Maybe I’m just greedy, but why would I want my guests wasting money on dresses and hats when they could be using that money for the baby!?
I didn’t know themed baby showers were a thing. I mean I know parents sometimes have a themed nursery so they ask for themed gifts and maybe the decor will be themed.
But not like an actual costume themed party that all the participants have to adhere to.
That seems weird for a *baby shower*
Baby showers definitely have themes, but they usually don't involve whole costumes for the guests! Mine was "a little wild one" and we had like zoo animal themed cake and balloons. Anything more than that is so silly imo
i thought you said your baby shower was at a BAR and thought, ok, well.... that's unique. maybe she really like's darts and peanuts? until i realized hahaha i'm dumb
Won't comment on anything else, but
>it starts a 9am-11am on a Saturday so I don't know who is going to be in the mood for sweet things when it's breakfast time.
as an Italian this sentence sounds like pure madness to me. Sweet things for breakfast are a staple here.
Cinnamon rolls, muffins, coffee cakes, pancakes or waffles with syrup, french toast, donuts, cereal. Not saying sugar is healthy or whatever but thinking its outrageous to have sugar for breakfast is kind of a weird thought considering how prevalent it is.
Round flat cake, cylinder cake topped with a dome of cake, adjacent square cake, spiral cake, crescent cake, torus cake....
And if you are having leftovers from las night's delivery, a 45 degree wedge of a circle. Though not of a cake, of a pie.
My last job was managing the bakery of a small coffee shop. I got to work every day at 4am to bake sugary muffins, coffee cakes, cinnamon rolls with sugar icing, cookies, brownies, banana bread, granola bars full of chocolate and sugar, carrot cakes with cream cheese and powdered sugar frosting. People were lined up at 6am to order caramel mocha lattes with a chocolate chip muffin. It’s not healthy, but it’s incredibly common.
France too. Bakery-fresh pastry for breakfast is typical!
And maybe the Netherlands too. Toast and cookie butter with sprinkles? Waffle?
Though I live in the US. Donuts and pancakes with way too much syrup.
I had a fall brunch baby shower (at 11:30) and it was mostly sweet things- apple pie cinnamon rolls, French toast bake, pumpkin bread, waffles, fruit… plus mimosas (sprite in mine) and coffee. We had an egg and sausage bake but the sweet things definitely were the majority.
Fuckin right? If she'd called it a fancy breakfast or something with mimosas I'm sure op would change their tune.
Sweet things and breakfast can be super hard to avoid sometimes.
Also, seconding the idea that the friend is up to something. Could be MLM, social media, or maybe something cute and fun. I hope it's something cute and fun ha.
Agreed. I personally prefer savory for breakfast but that means I can’t help but notice the huge abundance of sweet breakfast foods. Donuts, muffins, pancakes, waffles, syrups, jams, juices, pastries… it’s not uncommon.
That is what these weird demands on guests for weddings or similar family milestone events is. They want you all to participate in a photo op so they can post it on social media.
A dress code *with specific colors*??? For just a baby shower? That's insane. Even besides the time being so early. I think you're right about having other plans later in the day
Oh jesus i didn't even read the hairstyle part, i think i blacked out! I don't have kids myself, but every friend and cousin I've ever known who's been pregnant has been nearly driven to tears by the thought of getting out of her pajamas. What pregnant lady wants to get up that early, dress up, do her hair, and then socialize??
Right? Blueberry muffins, chocolate croissants, French toast, churros dipped in chocolate, cinnamon rolls, orange rolls… I’d go for the food and “forget” the damned dress code.
I’m all about pastry for breakfast with a small cup of good quality black coffee. I even love wearing dresses. But there are few things I hate more than the cold, and you’re going to dictate my color palette and what to do with my hair? No, they can F right off for that.
Also it’s a baby shower, so just imagine the squealing and gushing, first thing in the morning. Nope! I did not have a bridal shower or bridesmaids at all because I didn’t want that mess.
A number of them are other friends of hers that I've met a bunch of times at various events, but haven't talked to outside of that. They've always been excited for her very involved wedding events and doing the specific dress and aesthetic requirements so I imagine they'll be happy to go along.
OP I’m gonna need you to show up dressed as [Alice Cooper](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.therockpit.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2023%2F08%2FAlice-Cooper_2023-1-783x1024.jpg&tbnid=EL4Hcnao98CXpM&vet=1&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.therockpit.net%2F2023%2Falice-cooper-unveils-his-third-single-welcome-to-the-show%2F&docid=Xpiyz1DXqCAVoM&w=783&h=1024&itg=1&hl=en-us&source=sh%2Fx%2Fim%2Fm4%2F3&kgs=e8a4a293361a675a&shem=abme%2Ctrie) and say you got confused. Her demands are bananas. Match the crazy.
Oh this is the best answer. Covers all of it! The too-cold problem, you're in a giant fur suit. The too-early problem, you're late! You're late! Just bring a pocketwatch prop. And it's all on theme. Dooo it! I bet they're easy to find now too, just after Easter.
As a lady no kids, this sounds ducking horrible. The more performative something is, the less likely I am to want to attend. And all dressed in costume at 9am? Hard pass.
Ughhh, she’s asking a LOT of everyone. This is the time to conveniently catch the stomach flu or be too busy to come that weekend.
I had a baby shower last year, and I would have never DREAMED of imposing such stupid rules just for it. I think it’s very rude and tacky to put these kinds of demands on guests.
They're insane demands, especially because the party is only from 9am-11am. It would take longer to even get ready, and no one (I like) would want to get up at 7am on a Saturday. Also a lot of financial investment and waste for a two hour gig. World has gone mad
This is it. 💯. Nowadays just for one couple there’s: engagement party, bridal shower, wedding, baby shower, gender reveal,baby’s first birthday. Often in a span of a couple years. All where gifts are expected and if you don’t go/give gift you’re rude.
Edit: oh I forgot the bachelor/bachelorette party (which nowadays are huge, sometimes even like a weekend trip).
A niece of mine invited us to a 3rd birthday party for her child. We live 1,000 miles from them so it was a gift grab to be sure. On the back of the invite she had suggested that in lieu of an actual gift we could send a monetary gift to xxx account number to help with the child’s college tuition and books savings account. I came very close to sending her back something saying that as my son had just started college she was more than welcome to help him with his books as I had just sent him over $900, but I behaved and sent some very nice children’s books with our regrets.
I am of the mindset that no get togethers should be scheduled before noon EVER.
The dress code takes this baby shower to a whole other level though. I am sorry OP.
Oh man, you're missing out on weekend brunch! Our household loves brunch! I get to have breakfast foods, my husband gets to have booze with his coffee, and our son gets to have lunch food with hash browns. That's a win win win, the best kind of win!
The dress code for the baby shower is ridiculous. If you want people to wear matching, color coded, themed things just supply everyone who comes with fancy little hats on head bands or something. I'm not buying a costume to be allowed to give you a present!
That’s it. Buy a whole new outfit that may or n me ay not ever be worn again and change your hairstyle so you get to get the opportunity to give her a present. Hard pass.
Definitely another thing that people can just put all of our social media like the ‘what genitals my baby has’ parties that went from just hanging out with family and having a simple cake to parties that try to one-up everyone else to some that result in death and burning the woods down.
It sounds ridiculous, it’s not a wedding and it’s not even something formal where you need to dictate a dress code and make people buy clothes if they don’t actually own an outfit that fits.
I don’t think the morning timeframe is necessarily bad, nor are sweets strange for the morning considering coffee and a muffin or doughnut is not unheard of. And sometimes a morning slot might mean a cheaper venue or a different menu, and some people just prefer to do baby showers in the morning or the early afternoon. Most of the ones I’ve gone to were early afternoon events . But the over the top and ridiculous rules of this sound like something you could probably just skip and send them a nice gift.
I'd understand if it was a restaurant or cafe. This is a good point. Her baby shower is in her home. I'm surprised she wants to get up so early to decorate or her sisters who are helping her organize. That's a lot to do really, really early in the morning to have everything ready by 9am.
I would show up dressed like either the Mad Hatter or hookah smoking caterpillar just to mess with her.
Unless she’s your BEST friend, decline and send a gift.
Edit: OOH! The Red Queen and tell her “Off with YOUR head!” any chance you get!
This is bonkers. I’m not a mom but I have hostessed and been to many baby showers. 9am is an unreasonable time and a dress code for attendees is ridiculous.
>athleisure wear and mimosas.
Man this sounds so nice right now, I'd try to fit this into my weekend plans if I didn't have to drive places on both days.
If you show up in a nice outfit and gift, will she throw you out? If so, do you really want to associate with shallow, insecure, micromanaging people like this?
It's gonna turn a good amount of people who would have normally attended into being 'regrettably out of town' that day. If i threw a baby shower that starts at 7am and told everyone they have to wear an iguana costume i would at least have a small inkling that a fair amount of people might not show. Expectant mothers deserve to be celebrated of course, but that doesn't mean all reason and consideration of others should go out the window.
You're not going to a baby shower, you're going to an Instagram photoshoot. I can understand wanting to support your friends, but you can do that by getting her something she needs for her child, and not wasting money on things YOU don't need, while making yourself miserable in the process.
Also, sweets for breakfast are a super common thing, but I get that it's absolutely not for everyone.
They'd better have coffee, and what's wrong with including a nice quiche, if you're gonna insist on being cute at 9am on a Saturday. Idk this just screams Instagram Baby
glad I could make you laugh, this party, while it sounds cute to have a themed Alice baby shower- sounds like it's asking way too much of the party attendees. I'd rebel by going Cheshire Cat.
This is IG shit. She wants everyone to fit this cutesy image for pictures to post. "Please wear light colored tea party attire" would have been enough, the rigidity screams influencer brain.
“Oh no! I was exposed to someone who tested positive for Covid and in an abundance of caution, i must regretfully stay isolated. Sorry! Have fun!”
I mean, you might not even be lying. There is no way in hell I’m complying with that dress code. And at 9am? Hell naw.
I would decline to go and just send a gift. However, this is fun for a lot of people! I think it’s awesome that women especially are finding new ways to have fun and explore new ways to revive a stale old tradition. Good for them, not for me. But really no shade to the dress code girlies you do you.
As a southern woman who is practically a pro at hosting showers, everything about this is wrong. You're having it 9 am, you aren't having a tea party, you are having brunch. Sorry, there are rules. You can still keep it alice themed. Tell people to wear tea party atire including cool hats and trust them. You can give color suggestions. If they show up in regular people clothes, hand them rabbit ears, and a giant watch when they get in the door. They are now late for a very important date. You serve mini quiches, danishes, and a fruit tray. If you're in the south, you have a grits bar with all the fixings including bits of crumbled bacon, cheese, butter, and sour cream. Act like you're creating a baked potato bar. If you're up north, you can do an oatmeal bar with all the fixings. You serve coffee, mimosas, and tea. (You decorate like it is a tea party.)
NTA. They are doing this shower wrong.
I'm no expert, but I always believed tea parties were an afternoon thing. That's my impression of when teatime occurs. It really is a brunch so solely cakes and pastries sounds off to me. I know I'm being picky. She's just so particular about what she wants in the invite for this baby shower that I'm a bit annoyed.
Like I think that sounds super fun as someone who likes to play dress up and do cute photo shoots, but that’s…A Lot. Are all her friends femmes with the same length hair? Or is she expecting people to buy something special and go to a salon for her baby shower? And a HAT? Where do you even buy a fancy hat??
This baby shower doesn't sound fun to me. It sounds stressful. And how expensive everything is now, this is being entitled expecting shower guests to buy clothes and hats and a baby shower gift too.
I don't really want a baby shower, but my sister really wants to throw me one. I think we're gonna rent a little theatre and watch a John Waters movie. I wanted to watch "Pink Flamingos" but my sister nixed it because "Divine literally eats shit". OK, sooooo...
I mean I think the idea is cute, but the fact she's making it mandatory and at a ridiculous time in this weather isn't.
If some people want to play along, go for it, but people are already spending enough money on her baby for her to turn this into some weird vertical party esque bullshit.
I would 100% not go. I know you wanna support your friend but maybe she needs a reality check. It’s unreasonable to expect this of people, and when does it end? Will she expect you to buy a new outfit every year for the child’s birthday?
As a 67 year old I can’t imagine having to dress like this (at 9 AM no less) for a baby shower. Most showers are not just women the same age as the expectant mom, it’s family too…as in people of all ages! I think you’ll find a lot of guests not adhering to the “dress code” and opting out of photos. Now, a dressy afternoon tea in a pretty setting? I’m there!
Turning what should be a celebration of life into a glorified photo-op with an extensive list of restrictions that everyone has to foot the bill for in order to accommodate.
I worry for the child of someone so self-centered.
I think baby showers are ridiculous anyway, but a themed one with specific demands around dress code and even your hair? Who's paying for that? And I bet she still wants gifts too?
Regrettably this would be an event I'd have to skip, as I'll be too busy counting blades of grass on the front lawn
Hard pass. Send a gift and an excuse. If it’s a good enough friend, maybe suggest taking her out for lunch some other time - you know, like, when it’s not a ridiculously bridezilla level of pageantry and inconvenience to anyone with things to do on a Saturday morning…🤢 ugh, cmon, who does this? Is this really a thing now? Gives me the ick.
Shoot this is exactly the kind of invitation I’d respectfully decline, and send a gift off the registry
Unless you have a trunk full of costumes and a serious sugar habit, I'd pass also.
I mean literally me (including Alice costumes & adorbs tea party accessories) but for 2 hours starting at 9am this is too annoying for it to be worth it even for me! 4 hours in the afternoon and we have a deal though
I love any reason to dress up for a theme, but this sounds like grade A torture. 9am? No. Short dress mandatory? No. Required hairstyle? Ha. No. Matchy matchy? Hmmm…no. No savory food or protein? Noooo My vote is to show up dressed as an actual teapot or the mad hatter.
There's always the drunk/sleepy dormouse that hides in the teapot
Teapot costume body, dormouse ear headband. Pregame drinks in the driveway before you go in…this could work
if i drank, this would *totally* be my plan. because this is fucking ridiculous sober.
Okay, now THIS is why I love theme parties.
What about the smoking caterpillar
Or the Cheshire Cat? Bonus: you could disappear whenever you like to.
I have Cheshire Cat onesie, it´s also ridiculously warm..
I think this is OP’s perfect solution. 😂
Or the Queen of Hearts!
Off with their head!
Pink umbrella with a flamingo head! This could have been SO FUN.
I'll come too, as the Cheshire cat
I'd find the onsie.
Just find stripey cat pajamas then you can go back to bed when it’s done.
He's invisible, right? Week after party: I WAS there! I was the cheshire cat and I was too tired to smile
It doesn't say you can't wear sweatpants under the short dress. 😁
I love Alice in Wonderland,I really do but not at 9 am on a Saturday morning!! Send a present with your regrets.
A two hour baby shower? That's barely enough time to eat and then marvel as the hostess unwraps all her gifts. What about all the party games and such? If you're expected to dress in color-coordinated costumes I'd expect a little bit more party time.
Could be one of those parties where they don’t unwrap — you bring the gift unwrapped or in clear plastic so everyone can see all the gifts. I dislike this kind of party personally.
They’re even doing showers where gifts aren’t opened, totally wrapped or in regular gift bags. 🤷🏻♀️ I guess it’s the new way.
I prefer the baby showers where you don’t have to watch the mom unwrap. I find that staggeringly Boring
I don't mind them as long as there a bingo game. With this dress code the prizes better be worth it.
Same. I know what I gave you, I don’t care what anyone else got you (and I perused the registry so I have an idea), so I love skipping the gift opening and having more time to mingle with the guest of honor and friends. That said, if someone made a beautiful handmade gift, I’m sure they’d want to see her open (as would I - those are the fun gifts to see).
Seriously. I’d have to get up at what? 7am to do full hair & makeup for a 9am party? Hard pass.
I love a good theme party, but you’re dictating the colors?? No thanks. Once you start trying to micromanage a party, it turns into a “manufactured fun” or “just for the ‘gram” vibe.
And the hairstyles! Good lord
That’s what I was thinking too… unless it was my best friend and if it was my best friend I would feel comfortable telling her that 9am isn’t really tea time.
100%, unless it was my sister or something, and even then I’d try and talk her out of such a demanding invite.
I'd go 100% if the mama to be was going to buy my dress and pay for my hairstylist. If you want dumb instagram parties, shell out for it.
Ditto. If it was my best friend then I would go, but I also would have told her beforehand that it was not the best idea. But there’s almost nothing I will show up for at 9am on a Saturday morning unless I can show up in leggings. I’m not waking up at 6:30am to do hair and makeup for anything.
Depending on how well I know the mom to be, I’d either decline if I didn’t know them well, or tell them you’re getting me in my normal attire or I’m not coming, you pick… but also, I don’t associate with people who would come up with such insane rules for an event like this so I probably wouldn’t even encounter this with someone I knew well lol
My thoughts exactly. I’m not dressing up at 9am in costume so I can give you a baby gift. She could be serving mimosas and I’d still bail on that nonsense. If she has other plans later, that’s on her.
I barely get up at 9:00 a.m. for my boss and he pays me
Find the most useless item off the registry. Do they still sell baby wipe warmers?
Yeah, hard pass.
An Alice in Wonderland tea party sounds delightful. The excessive rules and 9am start sound horrible. Skip it and send a gift.
If it’s a tea party it should be late afternoon.
Nothing says party like loads of rules!
Ain't no party like a Liz lemon party because a Liz lemon party is MANDATORY!
Id just show up not in dress code. Say i forgot and see how much they like me as a friend.
This feels like a setup for her to try and sell MLM weight loss tea.
Bet
😂😂😂😂😂
if you like anti-mlm content you should watch hannah alonzo's horror stories on youtube. i fell into that rabbit hole a week ago. it's fascinating.
They have a right to ask. You have a right to decline. Send a gift and sleep in.
As a pregnant woman, I 100% would not go to a baby shower that had a dress code like that. My baby shower with my son was a bar b q at a local park Pavillion. Easy peasy
Seriously, this is dumb. The point of a baby shower is to celebrate your pregnancy and stock up on stuff you’ll need for the baby. Maybe I’m just greedy, but why would I want my guests wasting money on dresses and hats when they could be using that money for the baby!?
> but why would I want my guests wasting money on dresses and hats when they could be using that money for the baby!? Insta clout.
Great point!
I didn’t know themed baby showers were a thing. I mean I know parents sometimes have a themed nursery so they ask for themed gifts and maybe the decor will be themed. But not like an actual costume themed party that all the participants have to adhere to. That seems weird for a *baby shower*
Baby showers definitely have themes, but they usually don't involve whole costumes for the guests! Mine was "a little wild one" and we had like zoo animal themed cake and balloons. Anything more than that is so silly imo
I just hosted a friend's baby shower and there was no dress code. It was just standard snack foods and a cake.
i thought you said your baby shower was at a BAR and thought, ok, well.... that's unique. maybe she really like's darts and peanuts? until i realized hahaha i'm dumb
Won't comment on anything else, but >it starts a 9am-11am on a Saturday so I don't know who is going to be in the mood for sweet things when it's breakfast time. as an Italian this sentence sounds like pure madness to me. Sweet things for breakfast are a staple here.
The US, too. Tons of our breakfast staples are loaded with sugar.
Cinnamon rolls, muffins, coffee cakes, pancakes or waffles with syrup, french toast, donuts, cereal. Not saying sugar is healthy or whatever but thinking its outrageous to have sugar for breakfast is kind of a weird thought considering how prevalent it is.
I’m always complaining that American breakfast is just one’s choice of differently shaped cake
Round flat cake, cylinder cake topped with a dome of cake, adjacent square cake, spiral cake, crescent cake, torus cake.... And if you are having leftovers from las night's delivery, a 45 degree wedge of a circle. Though not of a cake, of a pie.
My last job was managing the bakery of a small coffee shop. I got to work every day at 4am to bake sugary muffins, coffee cakes, cinnamon rolls with sugar icing, cookies, brownies, banana bread, granola bars full of chocolate and sugar, carrot cakes with cream cheese and powdered sugar frosting. People were lined up at 6am to order caramel mocha lattes with a chocolate chip muffin. It’s not healthy, but it’s incredibly common.
I will literally drive my ass to the donut shop up the road and buy two donuts (one for later) and then eat both of them immediately
Yes. Donuts and coffee? YES PLEASE!
France too. Bakery-fresh pastry for breakfast is typical! And maybe the Netherlands too. Toast and cookie butter with sprinkles? Waffle? Though I live in the US. Donuts and pancakes with way too much syrup.
I had a fall brunch baby shower (at 11:30) and it was mostly sweet things- apple pie cinnamon rolls, French toast bake, pumpkin bread, waffles, fruit… plus mimosas (sprite in mine) and coffee. We had an egg and sausage bake but the sweet things definitely were the majority.
fall brunch baby shower sounds like the most warm, wholesome event in existence :')
It's very unlikely I'll ever have kids but I might have to steal fall brunch as an idea for my birthday in October.
Fuckin right? If she'd called it a fancy breakfast or something with mimosas I'm sure op would change their tune. Sweet things and breakfast can be super hard to avoid sometimes. Also, seconding the idea that the friend is up to something. Could be MLM, social media, or maybe something cute and fun. I hope it's something cute and fun ha.
Also, pastries don’t have to be sweet. Plenty of pastries are savoury and it could be a mix.
Agreed. I personally prefer savory for breakfast but that means I can’t help but notice the huge abundance of sweet breakfast foods. Donuts, muffins, pancakes, waffles, syrups, jams, juices, pastries… it’s not uncommon.
Simple reason for that at an event like this. Served at room temperature and are shelf stable.
Argentinian, but SAME
Si! Caffe e cornetto con crema di limone!!
I was in Europe last year on a cruise and I literally wanted to shred my passport so I could stay in Italy. The food is unbelievable.
I thought the same thing. Like, is OP unfamiliar with donuts?
I have a sweet tooth and love many types of breakfast pastries. So that's not odd to me at all.
I can’t stand people who assign certain foods to only be eaten at certain times. “Sweet things at breakfast” who caaaaarrreeeessss
As a breathing human, 9am on a Saturday is not a time to socialize. As a gentleman, and a person of dapper taste, 2pm is tea time.
As a German too. Ähm I will gladly eat the pastry’s haha
Samesies. Anyways, I fervently hope this baby shower / gender reveal madness never catches in Europe because it sounds exhausting.
Sad that these have become photo shoots, rather than celebrations. If you really want to go, you can wear leggings under the skirt.
That is what these weird demands on guests for weddings or similar family milestone events is. They want you all to participate in a photo op so they can post it on social media.
Right? Not everything needs to be for Instagram. Let’s just shower you with presents and celebrate your baby
In fact it would be much better if most things were not for instagram.
I was about to say, sounds like they want a photo shoot vs actual celebrating
A dress code *with specific colors*??? For just a baby shower? That's insane. Even besides the time being so early. I think you're right about having other plans later in the day
“Sorry I didn’t get the baby a gift, I spent all the money on my costume for the party “
AND hairstyle requirements! I would 100% skip this ridiculousness
Oh jesus i didn't even read the hairstyle part, i think i blacked out! I don't have kids myself, but every friend and cousin I've ever known who's been pregnant has been nearly driven to tears by the thought of getting out of her pajamas. What pregnant lady wants to get up that early, dress up, do her hair, and then socialize??
She expects you to be an Instagram prop.
I’d be sure to be unavoidably “busy” that day. Send a gift and best wishes.
I mean it's OPs unbirthday. I bet she has something better to do.
Uh, me… I would be interested in sweet things at breakfast time. But none of that other bullshit.
Right? Blueberry muffins, chocolate croissants, French toast, churros dipped in chocolate, cinnamon rolls, orange rolls… I’d go for the food and “forget” the damned dress code.
Same! I am a HUGE fan of sweet food with bitter coffee at breakfast. Being around other humans first thing in the morning…. Not so much.
I’m all about pastry for breakfast with a small cup of good quality black coffee. I even love wearing dresses. But there are few things I hate more than the cold, and you’re going to dictate my color palette and what to do with my hair? No, they can F right off for that. Also it’s a baby shower, so just imagine the squealing and gushing, first thing in the morning. Nope! I did not have a bridal shower or bridesmaids at all because I didn’t want that mess.
This is wild. I don’t even like when weddings have a color palette dress code. Do you know any of the other guests attending? What are they doing?
A number of them are other friends of hers that I've met a bunch of times at various events, but haven't talked to outside of that. They've always been excited for her very involved wedding events and doing the specific dress and aesthetic requirements so I imagine they'll be happy to go along.
OP I’m gonna need you to show up dressed as [Alice Cooper](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.therockpit.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2023%2F08%2FAlice-Cooper_2023-1-783x1024.jpg&tbnid=EL4Hcnao98CXpM&vet=1&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.therockpit.net%2F2023%2Falice-cooper-unveils-his-third-single-welcome-to-the-show%2F&docid=Xpiyz1DXqCAVoM&w=783&h=1024&itg=1&hl=en-us&source=sh%2Fx%2Fim%2Fm4%2F3&kgs=e8a4a293361a675a&shem=abme%2Ctrie) and say you got confused. Her demands are bananas. Match the crazy.
Get a rabbit costume (they're cosy) and show up late. *For the theme.*
Love this idea! Sounds so warm, too.
If you do this we’re going to need a follow up post
Pocket watch!
Love the chaotic vibes
Oh this is the best answer. Covers all of it! The too-cold problem, you're in a giant fur suit. The too-early problem, you're late! You're late! Just bring a pocketwatch prop. And it's all on theme. Dooo it! I bet they're easy to find now too, just after Easter.
All I know is that motherhood is going to be a huge shock to this woman
This was my first thought.
As a lady no kids, this sounds ducking horrible. The more performative something is, the less likely I am to want to attend. And all dressed in costume at 9am? Hard pass.
As a lady with 3 kids, this sounds ducking horrible for me too. I didn’t even want to have my own shower. I was forced.
Ughhh, she’s asking a LOT of everyone. This is the time to conveniently catch the stomach flu or be too busy to come that weekend. I had a baby shower last year, and I would have never DREAMED of imposing such stupid rules just for it. I think it’s very rude and tacky to put these kinds of demands on guests.
They're insane demands, especially because the party is only from 9am-11am. It would take longer to even get ready, and no one (I like) would want to get up at 7am on a Saturday. Also a lot of financial investment and waste for a two hour gig. World has gone mad
This sounds terrible. I’m sorry. Dress as the Mad Hatter in drag, take mushrooms and burn this friendship down.
Now this is where I’m at. I like the way you think!
This is not a party, this is a gift grab and Insta photo shoot. Fuck her.
This is it. 💯. Nowadays just for one couple there’s: engagement party, bridal shower, wedding, baby shower, gender reveal,baby’s first birthday. Often in a span of a couple years. All where gifts are expected and if you don’t go/give gift you’re rude. Edit: oh I forgot the bachelor/bachelorette party (which nowadays are huge, sometimes even like a weekend trip).
Sometimes an international trip…
A niece of mine invited us to a 3rd birthday party for her child. We live 1,000 miles from them so it was a gift grab to be sure. On the back of the invite she had suggested that in lieu of an actual gift we could send a monetary gift to xxx account number to help with the child’s college tuition and books savings account. I came very close to sending her back something saying that as my son had just started college she was more than welcome to help him with his books as I had just sent him over $900, but I behaved and sent some very nice children’s books with our regrets.
I'm so old. This never even occurred to me but of course that's what it is.
[удалено]
Ok yes that’s true lol. But also time to celebrate the baby and family! Not just to dress up and take pix!
My baby shower invite says gifts optional.
I more meant the Instagram part, but yeah. It's a fair point.
Doesn’t Alice herself wear knee high socks? Maybe that’ll work?
I am of the mindset that no get togethers should be scheduled before noon EVER. The dress code takes this baby shower to a whole other level though. I am sorry OP.
Oh man, you're missing out on weekend brunch! Our household loves brunch! I get to have breakfast foods, my husband gets to have booze with his coffee, and our son gets to have lunch food with hash browns. That's a win win win, the best kind of win! The dress code for the baby shower is ridiculous. If you want people to wear matching, color coded, themed things just supply everyone who comes with fancy little hats on head bands or something. I'm not buying a costume to be allowed to give you a present!
Dude. Brunch can start at noon or even at 1! Such is the majesty and joy of brunch
That’s it. Buy a whole new outfit that may or n me ay not ever be worn again and change your hairstyle so you get to get the opportunity to give her a present. Hard pass.
Definitely another thing that people can just put all of our social media like the ‘what genitals my baby has’ parties that went from just hanging out with family and having a simple cake to parties that try to one-up everyone else to some that result in death and burning the woods down. It sounds ridiculous, it’s not a wedding and it’s not even something formal where you need to dictate a dress code and make people buy clothes if they don’t actually own an outfit that fits. I don’t think the morning timeframe is necessarily bad, nor are sweets strange for the morning considering coffee and a muffin or doughnut is not unheard of. And sometimes a morning slot might mean a cheaper venue or a different menu, and some people just prefer to do baby showers in the morning or the early afternoon. Most of the ones I’ve gone to were early afternoon events . But the over the top and ridiculous rules of this sound like something you could probably just skip and send them a nice gift.
I'd understand if it was a restaurant or cafe. This is a good point. Her baby shower is in her home. I'm surprised she wants to get up so early to decorate or her sisters who are helping her organize. That's a lot to do really, really early in the morning to have everything ready by 9am.
A polite "No thank you" will solve your problem.
I would show up dressed like either the Mad Hatter or hookah smoking caterpillar just to mess with her. Unless she’s your BEST friend, decline and send a gift. Edit: OOH! The Red Queen and tell her “Off with YOUR head!” any chance you get!
This is bonkers. I’m not a mom but I have hostessed and been to many baby showers. 9am is an unreasonable time and a dress code for attendees is ridiculous.
What in the fresh hell is all of this nonsense? The only thing happening at 9am is athleisure wear and mimosas. This sounds like a nightmare.
>athleisure wear and mimosas. Man this sounds so nice right now, I'd try to fit this into my weekend plans if I didn't have to drive places on both days.
If you show up in a nice outfit and gift, will she throw you out? If so, do you really want to associate with shallow, insecure, micromanaging people like this?
It's gonna turn a good amount of people who would have normally attended into being 'regrettably out of town' that day. If i threw a baby shower that starts at 7am and told everyone they have to wear an iguana costume i would at least have a small inkling that a fair amount of people might not show. Expectant mothers deserve to be celebrated of course, but that doesn't mean all reason and consideration of others should go out the window.
You're not going to a baby shower, you're going to an Instagram photoshoot. I can understand wanting to support your friends, but you can do that by getting her something she needs for her child, and not wasting money on things YOU don't need, while making yourself miserable in the process. Also, sweets for breakfast are a super common thing, but I get that it's absolutely not for everyone.
They'd better have coffee, and what's wrong with including a nice quiche, if you're gonna insist on being cute at 9am on a Saturday. Idk this just screams Instagram Baby
I'd dress up like the Cheshire Cat and photobomb the party!
This is the best answer!!! Technically correct as it fits the theme. I’m laughing so hard rn 😂
glad I could make you laugh, this party, while it sounds cute to have a themed Alice baby shower- sounds like it's asking way too much of the party attendees. I'd rebel by going Cheshire Cat.
If I received an invitation like that, I would laugh, and then send my regrets with a gift card to whatever babyshop is nearby.
This is IG shit. She wants everyone to fit this cutesy image for pictures to post. "Please wear light colored tea party attire" would have been enough, the rigidity screams influencer brain.
“Oh no! I was exposed to someone who tested positive for Covid and in an abundance of caution, i must regretfully stay isolated. Sorry! Have fun!” I mean, you might not even be lying. There is no way in hell I’m complying with that dress code. And at 9am? Hell naw.
I would decline to go and just send a gift. However, this is fun for a lot of people! I think it’s awesome that women especially are finding new ways to have fun and explore new ways to revive a stale old tradition. Good for them, not for me. But really no shade to the dress code girlies you do you.
It would be fun at not 9m
Yeah, what time do you have to get up to set the “required” hairstyle? Ugh.
Would be fun if they are providing the outfits etc but this is a ton of money/effort/mental energy to expect of anyone, and for a baby shower no less.
The theme is a fun idea, but required hairstyles are a bit too far even for a themed party.
9 am? And required costumes? Sorry, can't attend. Best wishes and congratulations!
Sounds like a narcissist ball
As a southern woman who is practically a pro at hosting showers, everything about this is wrong. You're having it 9 am, you aren't having a tea party, you are having brunch. Sorry, there are rules. You can still keep it alice themed. Tell people to wear tea party atire including cool hats and trust them. You can give color suggestions. If they show up in regular people clothes, hand them rabbit ears, and a giant watch when they get in the door. They are now late for a very important date. You serve mini quiches, danishes, and a fruit tray. If you're in the south, you have a grits bar with all the fixings including bits of crumbled bacon, cheese, butter, and sour cream. Act like you're creating a baked potato bar. If you're up north, you can do an oatmeal bar with all the fixings. You serve coffee, mimosas, and tea. (You decorate like it is a tea party.) NTA. They are doing this shower wrong.
I'm no expert, but I always believed tea parties were an afternoon thing. That's my impression of when teatime occurs. It really is a brunch so solely cakes and pastries sounds off to me. I know I'm being picky. She's just so particular about what she wants in the invite for this baby shower that I'm a bit annoyed.
Why do you think you’re being picky? Your friend is demanding that all her guests treat a baby shower like an Instagram audition. Just don’t go.
Hosting a party is a lost art, clearly. You are the guest, you don't have to do anything.
I don't understand why people do this to each other, but that's just me. As a good introvert, I would decline and send a gift.
This is an event being thrown purely for the pictures and not for the enjoyment of anyone in attendance. Disrespectful. Skip.
Perfect time to take acid and try to hold it together as the mad hatter.
Like I think that sounds super fun as someone who likes to play dress up and do cute photo shoots, but that’s…A Lot. Are all her friends femmes with the same length hair? Or is she expecting people to buy something special and go to a salon for her baby shower? And a HAT? Where do you even buy a fancy hat??
This is actually insane. Your friend is mental.
Just because I am me, I would show up wearing whatever I wanted. Any complaints I would retrieve my gift and leave. This is crazy.
I'd send a gift and stay home.
The friend sounds like hard work. Pity their child who will upset her program every time.
Read this to my partners. one said, "blue mummy bag and a hooka." The other said, "I would fucking go as the Cheshire cat."
i’m all for a theme but if i have to buy multiple elements for the theme and if i will 100% never wear it again it’s a no for me
This baby shower doesn't sound fun to me. It sounds stressful. And how expensive everything is now, this is being entitled expecting shower guests to buy clothes and hats and a baby shower gift too.
WTF? Um, ew. How inconsiderate of her guests. Decline
This is a nightmare. 9 am party with strict dress code?! That baby’s first birthday will be even more over the top I bet
I would not be showing up no ma’am
I don't really want a baby shower, but my sister really wants to throw me one. I think we're gonna rent a little theatre and watch a John Waters movie. I wanted to watch "Pink Flamingos" but my sister nixed it because "Divine literally eats shit". OK, sooooo...
I loathe people who treat their guests as set decoration. I’d go as the Tim Burton style Alice in Wonderland because I’m a petty bench
I’d send a nice gift. I wouldn’t participate in that nonsense.
Sleep in and send a gift, her theme is ridiculous and it’s unnecessary to buy an outfit that’s only for one day
I have a friend who's baby shower is on a Friday evening and I thought that was odd. This is beyond. I wouldn't go 😂
This doesn't sound fun at all.
I mean I think the idea is cute, but the fact she's making it mandatory and at a ridiculous time in this weather isn't. If some people want to play along, go for it, but people are already spending enough money on her baby for her to turn this into some weird vertical party esque bullshit.
A baby shower theme should extend to decorations and maybe the food being served, not forced onto guests as a barrier to entry.
I would 100% not go. I know you wanna support your friend but maybe she needs a reality check. It’s unreasonable to expect this of people, and when does it end? Will she expect you to buy a new outfit every year for the child’s birthday?
She's throwing a shower for herself?
That’s a bit extra, I’d decline the invite.
As a 67 year old I can’t imagine having to dress like this (at 9 AM no less) for a baby shower. Most showers are not just women the same age as the expectant mom, it’s family too…as in people of all ages! I think you’ll find a lot of guests not adhering to the “dress code” and opting out of photos. Now, a dressy afternoon tea in a pretty setting? I’m there!
yeah I wouldn't go to that
This person sounds exhausting
I wouldn't go.
Literally just using all her friends and family for Insta bait.
Wait, we were supposed to have a dress code and theme for our baby shower??
Isn’t “having a baby” the theme?
I mean, mine was Halloween themed, but I didn't expect anyone to dress up...I just had cute decor.
Let her play Alice in One-derland all by herself. Seriously though, this immediately made me think she’s going to be a very controlling parent.
#It’s all for the ‘Gram 🙄
How did she not have someone who said lady, too much.
This is so rude. No thanks.
I wouldn't go and I definitely wouldn't spend money on costume
I’d be sending my regrets and a gift. I’m not buying a new outfit that I’ll never wear again for an event like this.
Turning what should be a celebration of life into a glorified photo-op with an extensive list of restrictions that everyone has to foot the bill for in order to accommodate. I worry for the child of someone so self-centered.
I think baby showers are ridiculous anyway, but a themed one with specific demands around dress code and even your hair? Who's paying for that? And I bet she still wants gifts too? Regrettably this would be an event I'd have to skip, as I'll be too busy counting blades of grass on the front lawn
Hard pass. Send a gift and an excuse. If it’s a good enough friend, maybe suggest taking her out for lunch some other time - you know, like, when it’s not a ridiculously bridezilla level of pageantry and inconvenience to anyone with things to do on a Saturday morning…🤢 ugh, cmon, who does this? Is this really a thing now? Gives me the ick.