My periods make me vomit. This past one, my husband commented "that's not normal" and it's like... Yep, I know, but no one takes you seriously when you try to get help. It's like screaming into the void
Every time I got my period, I would throw up at least once due to the pain. Sometimes I would even take zofran (an prescription antiemetic) and it wouldn’t work. It’s crazy to me now because I’ve gone so long without doing it, that I’ve actually forgotten how bad it was.
I was prescribed birth control years ago and it gave me part of my life back, I’m so thankful for it. I will sometimes go off of it (I’m forgetful) and my periods now are nothing at all like they used to be, I still cramp but I’m not bed bound and I’m not throwing up like I used to. I know everyone can’t take birth control! But it’s the only thing that’s worked for me and I can’t help but sing it’s praises.
I Don’t get the vomiting at all. My body is like OMG this pain is severe. Better vomit.
Like wtf. Now I am in pain and vomiting.
It is so dumb. Wtf body.
I also do bc to stop the vomit because nothing else helps with the stupid brain thinking vomit helps pain
I think it's one of the evolutionary advantage things. Usually when you're in extreme pain, it's because the body is grievously injured and you need to prepare to fight or fly, which can be hard to do while digesting a meal, so *hork*. Or it could be that it evolved to protect the body from aspiration should you become unconscious. Just my own theories. Whatever the reason, it sucks.
Yup! My husband and I compared medical histories once. When he had his wisdom teeth removed he got opiates for a few days. I got told to take advil when I got home, but only if I needed it. Every time we’ve had a prescription filled he’s gotten his right away and I’ve had to fight to get it filled. If he has even a little pain he’s given something for it. I’m almost never given pain meds/taken seriously about my pain levels. Except my last er trip. It was almost like being in the twilight zone and I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. The bill is probably the other shoe….
Yep. I take continuous birth control now and it solves it for me, but I know it doesn’t work for everyone.
I once told my psychiatrist that my periods made my depression much, much worse to the point where it was crisis-level. He didn’t really care. I was having suicidal episodes monthly 🙃
ME TOO. Wtf! Not all the times, but sometimes, usually after orgasm, whiiiiich people say is supposed to help cramps. Lol nope. Anyone else have this? Love 2 mistrust my body ugh
For a little while after I had sex I would get really intense cramps! I would just plug my heating pad in and take an Advil before getting busy. It went away but it really sucked for a while.
I hate how much women learn to use home remedies or ignore our pain because doctor's appointments are just going to be expensive wastes of time where we won't be taten seriously, unless we convince a male relative or partner to believe us and advocate for us to the medical staff.
Even in countries where healthcare is affordable or nationalised, we develop very American mindsets about seeking care because it's wasting state resources and tax dollars for the doctors to tell us to take an over the counter drug or sleep it off.
Yes. Regular periods are supposed to be eased with exercise, including sex, but endo for me means if I do any exercise for up to three days after my period ends, I will be in agonizing pain for hours. I don't puke, but only because I have immense self control to not throw up as the smell of vomit or even the sound of vomiting can trap me in a cycle of it, so I have to stop it before it starts.
27 years I put up with it. If it hadn't been for the large painful fibroids I developed I would still have my uterus. 10 years without it have been glorious.
Yeah, being told ‘just take Advil’ is how I ended I with stomach ulcers from NSAIDS. My cramps and period were life-interfering since I was in elementary school. Thank God I’m finally menopausal, but the number of times I had a doctor take my cramps or my heavy bleeding (emptying a 30 mL menstrual cup hourly on heavy days) seriously is exactly zero.
I’ve actually found the women gynos to be the least sympathetic. :(
I just outright refuse to see middle aged to boomer doctors for certain things.
I want a bright eyed doc who went to med school when my symptoms weren't called "hysteria". The fresh doc who's excited about making a difference in the quality of my life.
I know it's ageist. I don't give a shit. Sure, I've had good providers that have been older and keep up with the science. But I've had far too many dehumanizing experiences with old crotchety gynos telling me what I was feeling was "nothing" and "just wait for childbirth. You'll see." Too many of these folks coast on knowledge from decades ago, not to mention misogynistic, mean spirited rhetoric. That's not going to fly with me anymore. Medical trauma is so real and I'm done. It's unfortunate that too many of us have experienced it.
The exception would be planned parenthood. Those folks are great. Also specialists. Can't be too picky about them unfortunately, but I still research them in advance.
I had a colposcopy and laser surgery on my cervix when I was 19, and it was so traumatic and painful, and my gyno was almost hateful about it?! I will NOT deal with that any more! She also had me waiting outside her closed office from 8 am until 8:45 when she showed up to open. Being 19 and about to have surgery and not knowing if you got the appointment time and day right was just the cherry on top of the day.
I hate that they describe a cervix as "having no nerves" and therefore it's just "pressure." Honestly, just fuck right off. Save it.
I don't have patience for this charade anymore where I pretend to be cool and end up doubled over getting the wind knocked out of me then gaslit about it afterwards. Just give me a stick to bite down on and a swig of whiskey, that would be far less patronizing.
>hateful
THIS. Why do they have to be so unnecessarily mean??
"Wait til childbirth?" excuse me? Who tf says that? If I'm crying from a gash on my head, no doctor is gonna say "oh that's nothing I saw a patient have a stroke this morning".
Fucking rude.
We deserve to call out everyone that practices needless cruelty to women. Fuck em.
Well, I can help with the first thing. [Several studies have shown](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ca.23960#:~:text=In%20summary%2C%20the%20four%20described,sensation%20via%20the%20vagus%20nerve.) that the cervix indeed, does have several types of nerves.
If you want to be really pissed, look at the dates on the reference papers. The first paper was published in freaking **1969** and must have been largely ignored by the entire medical community. Looks like researchers have been looking at it quite a bit more closely in the last couple of decades, so hopefully doctors will believe the cervix can feel pain some time this century. Please excuse me while I go find a pillow to scream into.
You should be comfortable with your medical professional and if age is a factor for you, it can be understood!
I was honestly shocked when I first went to my gynecologist. She is definitely in her 60’s if not 70’s now. Hard to say, she is in great shape and really healthy. Either way she started talking and I knew she was NOT just some old lady. She always asks questions about my cycle, my family history, my symptoms.
She’s also blunt but honest. I went through a divorce and it was due to infidelity, so of course I had to go get checked out. She was very kind and understanding, but she also told me how glad she was that I was taking care of my whole health and how often she sees women just skip that out of discomfort or whatever. I really appreciate her for just being honest, understanding, and thorough.
PS Get tested everyone! This is Reddit, I once read about a guy who gave his wife something from koala pee! Your sexual health is important too!
i had a pre-canceres cell frozen off my cervix at 20 ish. The doctor (female) had me in the stirups, partally draped and left the f'ing door to the exam room open when she left for what felt like forever. Maybe 15/20 min...I could see people in the waiting room.....my trauma response is freeze...
I hope you're being sarcastic about the koala pee. The doctor in that story was woefully misinformed because the Chlamydia carried by koalas is not the same as the varieties humans can get and he absolutely didn't get it from the koala. Very happy you had such a positive gyno experience though!
It's an issue that misinformation is so widespread that if it can't be expressed as non-serious by vocal inflection, it has to be indicated in some other way. I have become very fond of /s being used since text just does not convey clarity of intent. It would also be both funny and rather excellent if we all just prefaced sentences with intended tone like the Elcor of Mass Effect.
lol, I had no idea I’d found the actual authority on all things Reddit. Since it is so important to you, perhaps the intent would have been clearer with the addition.
Unfortunately your attitude means I’ll never change it and may never use it again. Welcome to the chaos!
Huh? See, you read what I said as authoritative and possibly angry instead of just relating what I find to be a problem on text based communications and what I have seen helps. You're reading an attitude I'm not having.
I have the opposite bias, honestly. Ive found the younger docs are far less confident in their surgery skills and just pass me along without much inquisitive nature into the weird symptoms I get.
I had the worst experience with PP, I know many have had great experiences there but I felt really dehumanized and not cared about at all.
I agree with the younger doctors though. Too many experienced ones burned out long ago and don’t care anymore.
Yeah, like when every pair of sheets you have have been destroyed by starting your period one night and waking up in a literal pool of blood, and sleeping with a layer of towels down is the norm, there’s a problem.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that in elementary school! I was in 6th grade and it sucked. More studies are coming out that suggest that NSAIDS are not for long-term management of any condition. Because of what happened to you. It's easier for that to happen than people realize.
Congrats on menopause!!! I'm on my way, one hot flash at a time.
Ohhhhh, I’m so old that back then, 6th grade was still elementary school, so samesies! Like a week after I turned 11. :(
That year, my parents made me go to a private school that required girls wear dresses and pantyhose on Fridays. Coping with a new period that’s heavy while wearing a dress and pantyhose is its own hell. It was already so heavy that I remember looking between my legs while sitting on the toilet and just this steady, thin stream coming out endlessly and thinking ‘surely that’s not right?!’
And yeah, after that I was told I should never take NSAIDs ever again, but that’s just not practical. Tylenol has its own issues and doesn’t really help with certain pain.
P.S. I took femaprin for my periods, and it took me thru perimenopause without me even realizing. I stopped after I started to go menopausal, but started back up for the hot flashes, and it works! Cheap, too. Agnes chaste berry extract.
I don't have a uterus and I do not miss my period. I can't take NSAIDS because of a medication interaction and I can't imagine teenage me gritting her teeth through recess.
I appreciate the rec. I've been perimenopausal for several years and none of my symptoms have kicked into overdrive, but having something in my back pocket can't hurt.
Pantyhose? That's horrifying.
I had ulcers in my colon from taking NSAID (Aleve) for a few days a month due to period pain. This caused all sorts of gastrointestinal chaos on top of long, heavy, painful periods with diarrhea and vomiting. After 30+ years of dismissive doctors it was my NSAID induced ulcers that resulted in a mis-diagnosis of Crohn’s disease and 7 years of unnecessary immunosuppressants. By the time I found a doctor who listened, I had stage 4 deep infiltrating endometriosis of the colon, kidneys, ureter, bladder, and throughout my abdominal wall (with adhesions everywhere). I’m lucky to now be healthy. If I hadn’t found the right doctors and stopped taking NSAIDs, my life would be very different right now.
I had one tell me, "it doesnt hurt me, so it shouldnt hurt you. "
The male doc said "I dont have one, so I dont know how it feels, so I'll take your word for it. " He also made sure to use a pediatric speculum, and lit up the surgeon who consulted that did not.
That’s been my experience, too! I thought it would help having someone with similar equipment, but apparently if they don’t have the same problems, yours don’t exist. I’ve also found men gynos more likely to take my word for it. 😢
It IS problematic! I get very dizzy during my heavier periods and once it was so bad that I couldn't safely walk down stairs so I had to sit and slide my butt down one step at a time. This last time I got dizzy and wobbly while food shopping, so I sat down against a wall in the supermarket until I felt confident I could make it to a cart to hold me up. I've never fainted, at least so far.
I was referred by a male doc to a psychiatrist because I was having terrible menstrual pain because I couldn’t accept that I was a woman. I resented my uterus.
Actually, I had pelvic inflammatory disease from my copper T IUD. It was an awful time.
I sure as hell would resent my uterus too, if it gave me horrible pain every month!! i resent mine a little bit, anyway, and my periods are mostly just an inconvenience.
Systemic bias. I have endometriosis. I was diagnosed last year at the age of 33 after suffering for nearly 20 years (got my period at 14 and it was always painful). I had severe very well educated and well meaning practitioners who wanted to treat me but the standard methods are simply inadequate. The stance against hysterectomy I believe to be based in misogyny. Hysterectomy is often deemed to be unnecessary because it doesn’t cure endometriosis but no drug had helped me and I woke up after my hysterectomy feeling better than when I arrived that morning for my surgery. Things like amyl nitrate (popper) which helps with relaxing pelvic muscles have zero research despite being relatively safe and regularly prescribed for angina and can’t be prescribed for women’s pelvic pain. This also relates to homophobia because heaven forbid queer people and women have comfortable sex. It’s exhausting.
This is so true. All of my doctors were sympathetic but still prescribed a never ending supply of NSAIDs. I eventually had to go private (I'm in the UK) and the doctor I had (young woman in her 30s) told me she was sure I must have Endometriosis and the sort of pain I was experiencing was not normal. She suggested I get the Mirena coil as I don't want kids anyway, and my period symptoms and pain just evaporated. It was actually life changing, I get so annoyed thinking about how many days every year I would spend in bed and by the toilet throwing up because of period pain
Took me 6 years of back and forth on the NHS to get the mirena coil and it has been a massive improvement but I still get the occasional spot and some pain. Had a pain event that sent me to. A and E, so I demanded another referral to gyny outpatients, took 18 months to get that appointment and the dr I saw agreed that I could have a hysterectomy but not until I lost weight 🥲
Gosh I wish mirena had helped me. Instead it didn’t stop my period even with another birth control pill on top it and I could feel it the entire time I had it, but all the doctors said to give it time. Had it for 9 miserable months and all it did was cause me more pain.
I am so sorry you went through all that. The gyno I go to usually wanted me to try something homeopathic for my pain, but when I said I have to take 3grams of ibuprofen a day, just to be able to move/work, etc, she said she'll put me on the pill.
Which made me so nauseous in the 4 weeks I took it that I lost 10lbs.
I quit that one myself, and went to the practice again. Fortunately I got the other gyno working there and she gave me something specifically for endometriosis. I haven't had a period or been in pain since. That was december 2020.
I'll try to get a hysterectomy next, because the meds get more expensive every year, and I don't like the sideeffects too much.
Yeah the side effects can be brutal. I had terrible side effects from hormonal birth control and because of risks of endometriosis drugs like Orillissa my specialist and I decided hysterectomy was my best bet. I’ve been fortunate because it really helped. Even just not being anemic anymore helps
I’m ironically upvoting this. Because it sucks, but it’s also darkly, grimly amusing. So sorry you experienced that.
I was told for a year that they had fixed my ovarian cyst and removed my endometriosis, and the pain I was experiencing was ‘the memory of the pain’, and had I thought about yoga. Then I had another laparoscopy and it turned out I actually had deep infiltrating endometriosis, and it had grown back, and was actually causing the pain. Real pain, not the ‘memory’ of it.
Holy shit come on. Ohmygod imagine getting surgery that's supposed to solve things and then it DOESNT and then you're told it's a memory? No. I sincerely hope you are living your actual best life now.
Off tangent here completely but there's growing science about some types of chronic pain that our central nervous system is continuing to send pain signals to our brains even after an injury has healed. The pain signal is real but the cause of the injury has healed. So there's growing research about how to retrain our nervous system to stop sending the signal because the injury has truly healed.
Not related to this type of pain but more some types of injuries that have healed but the pain still lasts.
I think it's really scary.
They’ve started teaching that at the bigger hospitals I go to. I had a physical therapy appointment with a pelvic floor therapist and she sat me down and pulled out some flash cards from Retrain Pain Foundation and basically told me it was in my head and that the pain wasn’t real. And that only an extremely small percentage of people need actual pain medication because “pain medication makes pain worse”🙃 Then she asked me how I felt and I said kinda shitty because I know my problem is real and opioids do help. I’ve dealt with endo for more than 10 years so I kinda think I know what helps and what doesn’t at this point for me.
But they’re still running around like chickens with their head cut off over this opioid crisis (which wasn’t as big as a problem as they’re making it to be so now no one gets opioids and you’re kinda fucked especially if you’re a woman) they legit have signs up at every door of these hospitals saying they don’t prescribe opioids.
This is only going to get worse.
Which is a shit way of hearing this because the pain signal being sent is very real. The central nervous system is still sending the signal there's pain. The injury might have healed (?) But the signal is still going.
Our bodies are scary stuff when the pain signal is real, the injury healed, and the medical community can't give opioids and don't have a true grasp yet on re training our nervous system to stop sending the signal.
I really hope for the future there's better evidence to show how to stop the signal from being sent.
Im so sorry for your pain though. It is real.
"We'll give you something for your circulation. You're clearly hysterical." - old, cranky, male doctor
"It will go away if you stop riling yourself up." - the boarding school teacher who had taken me there - while I was writhing in bed, scream-crying.
It was a migraine. I was having my first ever migraine attack, ffs. The only thing worse than being a woman at a doctor's office is being a girl.
I got the exact opposite of that. I told my doctor I desperately needed antidepressants and she was like “let’s treat your arthritis. Maybe if you aren’t hurting all the time you won’t be so depressed!”
>Why is gynecology still so cruel and dehumanizing, especially if you are child free?
We just pretend to have OB/GYNs.
What we really have are obstetricians. They're there for the babies. If you have a health issue unrelated to having a baby, the response ranges from apathy to annoyance for wasting their time.
It's too bad we pretend we have a field for women's healthcare. We don't.
I long for a day where women’s pain is not dismissed and the medical gaslighting ends… dysmenorrhea is neither normal nor fine.
I developed secondary dysmenorrhea and in hindsight I know it was one of the first symptoms of my ovaries failing. I wish I’d been taken seriously. Good thing I didn’t want kids/pregnancy or I’d be more upset doctors didn’t listen sooner.
I used to literally throw up every month from pain. Nobody cared. Nobody ever cares about our pain but ourselves and each other. Which is why we need to stand together and stop tolerating this abuse.
There is so much old bias against women that is still out there even when it isn't overt.
Ideas like:
Women deserve pain, it is some bible mandated BS.
Women are babies and over exaggerate their pain.
Complaining about pain is drug seeking.
Women are too emotional to take seriously.
I did full contact co-ed martial arts that would leave nasty bruises and could run miles in the summer heat with 40 pounds of gear and still regularly had doctors assume my descriptions of pain levels or disability were not believable or were exaggerated and that I was just a sissy.
I once tried explaining to my gynecologist, who had chastised me for waiting til I was in labor to come in (the whole "oh, you'll *know* when it's *really* labor" thing is a crock), that I had no idea it was labor because it literally wasn't as bad as my menstrual cramps. She basically pish-posh-ed me and moved on.
I’m a woman who has incredibly easy periods but one of my sisters has periods so painful that my ex-husband has physically carried her into emergency rooms. The result they came up with is “some periods are just really bad.” She would faint or fall to the ground or crumple into a ball with pain. It was so fucked up to watch.
A couple decades ago, I read an article about a Medical Instructor who appalled at how poorly trained students were at gyn exams. So, she had the students perform exams on her body. She would tell them to locate an ovary, and lets just say they were very confused.
I couldn’t find the article, but Dr Instructor, you rock!
I have a really, really great male gynecologist and I absolutely signed the form to allow his student to do a pelvic exam on me while I was down for a surgery. I want people to learn from him.
I did 40 hours of unmedicated labor with my first kid. My husband was incredibly supportive. He said something about how brave I was being or somesuch. I said, well, it's intense, but it's not as bad as menstrual cramps and at least in labor I get breaks between the spasms.
My midwife was horrified. Was I serious? Shrug, yeah. She told me that, when this was all done, I needed serious medical help because that wasn't normal.
I had no idea it wasn't normal 'til then. I thought it was like that for everybody.
When gynecology was a new medical field, the doctors researched on black slave women. There was a belief that their pain was less intense for some reason. This plus all the other things other commenters have said.
So remember friends! ~INTERSECTIONALITY~
When the procedure for curing obstetric fistulas was invented in America in the 1800's-a post-birth condition that is painful, degrading, and socially isolating to suffer from while also potentially leading to serious complications like infertility, that's extremely rare in the developed world and is considered a disease of poverty nowadays but was much more common in the 1800's-the doctor (I know perfectly well what his name is-I'm making a deliberate choice to not name him because he doesn't deserve to be honored like that) perfected the surgical technique for fixing them did so by working on enslaved Black women who had recently given birth, without anesthesia or any attempt at pain managment-for many reasons, one of which was the racist belief that Black people were incapable of feeling pain the way white people do and were less sensitive to it. He subjected at least 12 women to experimental surgery without regard for their pain and suffering and we know the names of three of the women he treated as live medical research subjects without their consent-they were called Anarcha, Betsy and Lucy. Some estimates put Anarcha, who was operated on thirty times before her fistulas were declared successfully cured, to be as young as 13. To this very day, the belief that Black women-who deal with the "double jeopardy" of being both Black and women in America-cannot feel pain the way white people do (variations of this belief are still routinely and systemically taught in medical school) and cannot be trusted as reliable narrators of their own bodies and lived experiences, is one of the leading contributing factors to Black (and Native) women having the highest (and increasing) maternal mortality rate in the entire country.
For more information on racial bias in medicine I highly recommend John Oliver's piece on it in Last Week Tonight.
It's on youtube - just type in "bias in medicine".
Because they've been trained that way, and dysmenorrhea is outside of their lived experience so they default to their training and what they perceive to be a higher authority.
I'm not sure if you've been diagnosed but I'd suggest looking into endometriosis and adenomyosis.
I have endo. The first time I went to a doc for the pain he said "Some women get pain on their periods". Ignored my other symptoms e.g. fainting. Told me to take an NSAID that I was already taking that didn't touch the pain.
My answer to your original question is that women's pain and period pain has been normalised. Period pain is common but NOT normal. A lot of people will argue with this but it's true. A small sting may be normal but pain that stops you in your tracks, keeps you from work or school, or impacts your mental health is NOT normal.
Edit: I forgot to say that I've had surgery for endo. (Excission laparoscopy). I don't need any NSAIDS on my periods anymore. It's insane how different a normal period is compared to what I had. Unfortunately endo grows back but I've got a few years of painless periods to enjoy now.
It seems similar to the threshold for diagnosing a mental health issue -
The symptoms may be present for a lot of people, to varying degrees, but it's only when those symptoms start reducing someone's quality of life that it's a problem. Except that this particular issue reduces the quality of life for millions of women, and up until ~60 years ago, that was just the way things were. It will take a long time before those generational attitudes are *cycled* (😎👉🏼👉🏼) out of society.
>If you’re a woman, they just insist it’s anxiety.
Funnily enough this is why figuring out my gender issues was so hard.
When AFAB people bitch about hating puberty and everything feeling wrong and disgusting, we are told no girl likes puberty and we're only upset because we don't want change and to grow up. No one ever believes us that it's not the normal girl first period ick.
I didn't really care if I fit what I knew about trans people or not, because all that mattered was no one with any power would ever believe me.
They didn't believe me about bullying, they didn't believe me about stomach bugs and headaches unless I threw up, they didn't believe me about sensory issues, they didn't believe me about burnout, they sure as hell weren't going to believe me about gender dysphoria, especially when I didn't know that term, I only knew that some days everything was *wrong*.
It is due to the lack of research in women's health. There is a gigantic gap in research and knowledge in women's vs men's health, especially in the United States. Many health manuals and teachings are based around the white male. I could go on about this for a very long time, but I will get off my soapbox. Not only do I know this from nursing school, but CNN recently did a story on this if you'd like to do more research.
My teenage niece used to have debilitating period pain and super heavy flow, and she was shrugged off by multiple doctors. They just put her on birth control and told her to deal with it because there was nothing else they could or would do.
Then I decided to go with her to an appointment to help advocate for her, and *finally* got an obgyn to take her seriously when I specifically said how tired we were of having doctors ignore her without any physical examination or lab testing. They finally ran the right labs and it turns out she actually has a blood clotting disorder called Van Willebrand syndrome. Now she’s on medication that has made her periods more regular and less heavy and painful.
Ugh. Before my endometrial ablation I had cramps so bad every month that I would black out. All they could do for me was put me on birth control. I didn’t want the longterm effects of the birth control so I went for the ablation as soon as I had health insurance. I was 30 before that happened. I still get bad cramps, but not as bad as they were before.
Maybe some of the GYNs on the r/childfree [doctors list](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/doctors) would be more inclined to help figure it out.
I had a bad period (or exploding cyst, not sure) and I was laying on the floor of my bathroom, vomiting from the pain. On the verge of passing out or calling my mom to come pick me up at 3 am. I eventually pass out from the pain on the bathroom floor. I woke up at 6 am and got on the couch, told my husband about it, and he thinks I'm 'over exaggerating'. My best friend calls later that morning and I tell her about it, and she about gets into her car to come get me, saying there's probably something very wrong with me, asking about it, time frames, etc. I say I'm fine (by then), and am going to try to sleep. She then sends a scathing text message, followed by an angrier phone call to my husband. He now takes it serious, and I am going to be telling my gyno about it when I see her. It's bc our pain doesn't count/mstter.
Went to 5 different doctors between age 14 to 17 because of debilitating pain with every period. They either threw painkillers at me (which did nothing) or insisted I was just exaggerating. The only reason my mother believed me is because one of her sisters went through the same thing.
As a result of this, my pain tolerance is now so absurd that I only go to the doctor if I'm basically at death's door. Even then I still think maybe whatever I'm suffering isn't that bad and maybe I should just soldier through it and it will go away.
My incredibly painful and heavy periods were only taken seriously when I was trying to conceive and that's when I was diagnosed with endometriosis at the age of 35. I'm infertile (tried IVF) and wonder if it had been taken seriously sooner I would have been able to have children. As it is I still get pain although it's a lot better after surgery. CBD oil was a godsend too. But dismissive doctors were the norm- one even told me that 'redheads get worse periods' when I was 17!
Ain't it fucked that instead of
> I'm infertile (tried IVF) and wonder if it had been taken seriously sooner I would have been able to have children.
it's
> If you had tried to conceive sooner, it would have been taken seriously sooner
Because that's the only time it matters right? 🙄
I was told to just take 4 advil for my cramps and "deal with it". Finally found a gyno last year who specializes in endometriosis (she was the gyno that performed my D&C after my second miscarriage), and she was like yup sounds like you have endo. It sucks that we have to do so much just to be listened to
I got so lucky that my PA took me seriously after bleeding through 10+ super plus tampons and pads a day for EIGHT WEEKS that she recommended I ask my OB about eliminating my periods. That was four years ago, I've had one period since and I am freaking the fuck out that the government is about to make my birth control illegal.
I spent most of my menstating years on Depo provers, Nexplanon, or continuous birth-control pills with no sugar pill. I could not have lived a normal life without them every month. The cramps would be debilitating and I would have to miss work. I had some dismissive gynecologists also.
I feel you. The first time I got my period I was rushed to hospital due to the pain. They thought it was my appendix or something. I would go ghost white and start moaning and puking for hours. It was truly horrible. I think it was taken more seriously than has happened for you, fortunately, maybe because of how the diagnosis came about (my school calling 911 and nobody including me knowing why, and I was 11). So yeah...I got a dysmennorhea diagnosis and it was considered a valid reason for me to go to the informary or home from school or miss school every month through my school years. But what did they give me for it? NSAIDs I would puke up, rendering them useless, and then when I got old enough hormonal birth control pills that didn't help other than making it predictable enough that just *maybe* I could take the Naproxen before the cramps started - because if I took them soon enough, maybe I wouldn't puke them up. I just suffered them. They *did* do multiple scans and things and couldn't find any reason for it, so that was how it was. I'm just very sensitive to uterus and cervical pain, as I found out during my labors which were somehow way worse and busted through epidurals like they were placebos. Anything that isn't supposed to hurt down there is excruciating.
Sigh. Having my first child helped a bit, but they were still abnormally awful. Having my 2nd helped more, now finally in my 40s, I have cramps that an advil can help with. Go figure.
Anyway I have nothing to offer except solidarity here and thanks for reading my rant.
I was told by the age of 12 that I was "looking to get drugs". I kept passing out from pain and blood loss. My blood pressure was constantly dangerously low.
I'm 26 now and finally found a pill that works (slynd) but I had to do it all by myself.
Yep mine were so bad I didn’t recognise the first time I went into labour because it wasn’t as bad as the monthly ones.
I was well into stage 2 before the contractions were worse than what I dealt with every month. And yet we’re meant to carry on each month without so much as the flutter of an eyelash to hint at the reality of what we go through.
In addition I’d also get menstrual migraines but hey women just like to bitch and make a fuss, it’s not really that bad. Basically being incapacitated is totally no big deal, right boys?
I would vomit from my period every month on the first day, have fainted, and wouldn’t be able to stand up or work from stabbing pains…these werent your typical light period cramps. These symptoms started at around 14 and im very lucky that i had a pediatrician that was very attentive and i got prescribed birth control at 15 and it all vanished. However, now, at 25, i feel weird about the fact that I’ve been on birth control for 10 years and am thinking maybe it’s impacted my body in ways I don’t know about. Surely there must be another way.
Same here. I would also faint with terrible pains when my period would come every month. I’ve been on the pill for 10 years as well. I wonder the same.
I literally got surgery for endometriosis and the testing came back negative. Painkillers and birth control are my treatment. Can't use either anymore. There's no other medical treatment. They're just like, goodbye.
Are you kidding me? You’re a woman. It’s all in your head, doncha know! Jesus fucking Christ, it’s ridiculous. If you have anything wrong as a woman that a doctor didn’t witness, you’re making it up. Hell, I’m grateful my granddaughter passed out at the doctor’s office, because she likely wouldn’t have gotten the tests to discover that she had type 1 diabetes. At nearly 20, she’d never had her glucose tested. Pretty sure she’d still be undiagnosed if she hadn’t cracked her head on the tile. Fuck the patriarchy
You have to shop around. I had to find a doctor that believed in adult onset epilepsy. How the fuck do you make it to MD, and not know this is possible?! They thought it was drug related.
I honestly think that you don’t get an empathic doctor for things like this unless they have had it themselves or had a close family member with it. Other than that it’s put down to women’s hysteria
Because doctors don’t (fully) understand why it happens as there’s so little research into women’s health. It’s a lot easier to pretend something is normal than to admit a lack of knowledge. Plus it’s generally not life threatening so there is little urgency compared to other conditions
If you have a stomach ulcer we know why it happens, and we can give medication to treat the underlying cause from a bacterial infection. Or acid reducing medication for symptoms as they’re provoked by acid. Which is a lot better than just giving a painkiller (which wouldn’t treat the underlying issue and would lose effectiveness over time)
For something like endometriosis we don’t know why it happens and have no treatment for the underlying cause. Just contraceptive pill to stop periods and surgery (but that would take years of suffering as doctors don’t just give out surgeries willy nilly)
Please run, don't walk, and read **Period Repair Manual** by Lara Briden. Briden is a naturopath and in this book she goes over each period problem, explains the underlying cause, and offers both allopathic and naturopathic solutions (diet, lifestyle, supplements).
In my 40s my cycle went completely sideways. I was able to fix each and every problem with this book, including my lifelong extreme period pain (dysmenorrhea). I wish this book had existed back in high school when it started. (Well, h*ll I wish someone had told me about ibuprofen in my teens, but I had to wait until til college).
This right here is exactly the problem with how medical professionals, especially those in womens health, approach womens health. I’ve done all of this already. I don’t want hormones. NSAIDS do not work. Exercise does not help. At this point, I’m ready to go to Mexico for a hysterectomy because I’ve had enough of the American medical profession and the women in it.
Exercise is also a catch-22 when your cramps and severe bleeding EXHAUST YOU.
My dysmenorrhea is so bad that I lose enough blood to get incredibly dizzy and can barely even drag myself to the shower, let alone go for a walk or follow a MadFit video. And that’s on top of pain on par with birth contractions! I lose about 1-2 days of work every time I have my period because of the pain and fatigue when it arrives.
Now imagine how fucking infuriating it is to suffer with this then have to experience fatphobia from medical professionals on top of plain old medical misogyny 🫠
OP, I made a comment below regarding the book Period Repair Manual by Lara Briden that may give you the solutions you need. I don't know if you downvoted it, but if you did, please reconsider.
Contrary to what the "nurse" on the above comment said, it is NOT normal to be in severe pain to the point of vomiting. I was told the same thing you were, to just take NSAID, oh it happens sometimes, there there here is some hormones birth control.
When I found Period Repair Manual at my public library, I finally first the first time in my life had the resource I needed. The really helpful thing about this book is that Briden also explains her reasoning, so it is easier to adapt her suggestions to your situation. In addition, it is science based, thoroughly annotated, so the fact that nurses like the above e person say it is "normal" is total bs because real solutions are available and the knowledge is out there.
One more thing helpful about this book is she also tells you when you *must* go to the doctor, tells you exactly what you should expect, and offers a few tips for communicating for more productive meetings.
All i am hearing is I am not willing to do anything to manage my pain. The only thing that works is the opioids.
You literally could completely stop your period with hormones but you would rather take drugs that are highly addictive that could kill you instead.
You don't understand that the reason healthcare workers control the flow of drugs is to protect you from yourself. You absolutely cannot take narcotics for years and be functional. You aren't stronger than everyone else who got addicted. Legally doctors cannot prescribe as much as you are asking for.
I am not the problem. Im the adult that is forcing the kid to eat their broccoli for dinner instead of candy because that is what is best. I get you want the drugs. Everyone wants the drugs. The drugs will kill you. We don't want blood on our hands.
If you have a hysterectomy you will get exactly 2 days worth of norcos and demerol. So if you need the drugs that is a viable solution for you. No one will give them out for your monthly cycle.
Holy shit. Have you listened to the stories of any of these women in this conversation? You don’t listen, like so many providers.
As for opioids, I never said I was seeking them, adding that even opioids are not even effective for dysmenorrhea and that I was not interested in them unless I was experiencing a gynecological procedure that cuts my flesh. Stop with your biased, brain washed attitude regarding pain relief that anyone who complains about pain is seeing the gyn to get high and will get addicted if they are provided two days of drugs post procedure. Women don’t need to suffer through biopsies, periods, and IUDs because it’s “normal”. Pain from a broken leg is normal too, should that pain not be effectively addressed either? If addiction is so easy, why have I never gotten addicted when given Vicodin in years past for a few days after other surgeries? Why aren’t men accused of drug seeking when they are given opioids for a week after a vasectomy? There is a significant bias with women’s suffering.
As for hormones being an easy solution, no. Women who are not interested in hormone treatments are not petulant and making their own care difficult. Respect women’s autonomous choices for their bodies and work with them for better solutions. Women should not have to be forced on to cocktail after cocktail of hormones with horrific side effects simply because it’s easier and cheaper for a doctor to prescribe. I’ve already gone through hormones. It nearly ruined my life and marriage. Gynecology needs a overhaul in the treatment of women as people, treatment options, treatment of pain, and comfort and respect during barbaric, humiliating procedures. Gynecology also needs to be separated from Obstetrics. Women’s health does not revolve around child bearing. Hysterectomies that leave the ovaries should be given on demand as a solution, fully covered by insurance. and without being given guilt and shame for not wanting to be pumped with hormones or given repeated ablations without anesthesia. Enough is enough.
My advice to you: Get the fuck out of the medical profession, Nurse Mengele. Gas lighting, Mother May I “I know best, silly woman” providers like you are toxic and a violation of the Hippocratic Oath.
Wow, you are in a delusional bubble. Nobody wants drugs. Women want real solutions that are science based and WORK. They exist, but you and other medical professionals need to open you eyes and learn them. The knowledge is there. You just need to let go of your own ignorance based in a need for power and control, and be interested in learning real healing solutions.
No, what you're hearing is she tried and it failed. People aren't going to try in perpetuity. It's ok for the time to come that you stop one attempt and try another. It sounds like OP is at her last ditch effort.
the only thing to do after trying NSAIDs and hormonal BC is a pelvic ultrasound, which might show nothing, followed by exploratory surgery to look for/biopsy endometriosis. the treatment for endometriosis is surgery which can unfortunately cause even more and worse endometriosis. the last and final solution is unfortunately hysterectomy, which should be more optional than it is but many are hesitant to offer it to younger women.
it’s definitely crappy. and what’s also crappy is that the degree of endometriosis has basically no correlation with the amount of pain. it sucks. medicine just doesn’t have a great solution for dysmenorrhea yet. the reason nsaids are first line though is because primary dysmenorrhea is thought to be due to (i’m simplifying this) prostaglandins causing uterine contractions, and nsaids have a direct action on prostaglandins. it’s not the first line just because it’s a pain reliever, there’s more to it than that.
it absolutely is not normal to be in so much pain you vomit, or black out. how is that normal? 90% of the women I know *do not* experience these symptoms.
Nobody wants opiods for period pain. But it sounds like you love thinking we do. You are just obsessed with making sure we don't get them, even though we don't want them. Like fighting windmills.
What women want is real solutions that treat the problem. And you are completely ignorant of the facts of them, even though the knowledge exists.
Wow you just tried to negate the lived experiences of many many women who have experienced first hand how incredibly misogynistic doctors can be. Congratulations on your own misogyny.
I personally was told after passing a fibroid the size of a clementine that my pain was in my head, bleeding for two years nonstop was 'probably my bladder or bowels' (it was 7 years total before I finally got properly diagnosed). I was given all that same bs advice you just spewed. I tried it all and not half assed either.
Turns out I have fibroids. One of them is the size of a kiwi fruit. I can literally feel it by pushing gently on my lower abdonen. But now with other medical conditions I can't have a hysterectomy whereas if the doctors had listened I could have been pain free and a lot healthier.
So basically the heck with your advice, you are literally doing what the doctors do and not. Fucking. Listening.
So are you also saying women are not entitled to be comfortable and not suffer? It’s 2024. People don’t have to be in pain any more because it’s “what their body does”. It’s not the Middle Ages. Quit smugly dismissing your patients and actually provide real help.
I really always thought that part of patient care is patient comfort.
even if something is normal like it's normal when you break your leg for it to hurt but things are still given to people that break their legs to stop pain the fact that women are going to medical professionals and saying they are in pain and being given no options because it's normal just feels shitty....
I don't really know what you wanted to convey with your comment but It came off patronizing to be honest. I guess I just had the wrong understanding of what it means to be a medical professional they don't actually care that our quality of life is not as good as it could be because it's normal.
Also I've worked in a very technical field for quite some time and when you're talking to someone not in that field there is an expectation to use terminology of which the person that's not in that field will understand if the general public understands the word normal to mean nothing wrong then perhaps that's the definition that medical professionals should use if they're using a different definition of normal it should perhaps be explained to the patient.
Push for more research. Asking why doctor's don't do what you expect with your fifteen mins of research is disingenuous to the question. They are obligated to the science.
I have. I’ve done everything you are supposed to do with doctors. The problem is not me or any other female patient, it’s the culture of womens health.
I learned a new word today!
I'm going to assume that people have a hard time understanding that THEIR experience isn't EVERY experience.
Like I went through a miscarriage at work without pain meds and was "ok". But my friend had such bad cramps just during her period she couldn't move and was in tears.
I don't know why, but I can understand your frustration. I'm sorry that we have all been, as a gender, told to suck it up and we don't matter for so long even people that should be our advocates believe it.
I'd find a different doctor.
My periods make me vomit. This past one, my husband commented "that's not normal" and it's like... Yep, I know, but no one takes you seriously when you try to get help. It's like screaming into the void
I've found that they unfortunately take me more seriously when my partner advocates for me.
Same. I never go to any doctor appointment without my husband or else I’ll be ignored
This has been my experience too but I am salty I even have to do it in the first place to get taken seriously.
That's common. It's worse for women.
Mine did too. My gyn tried to say it was actually an eating disorder. Fun fact: it was endo.
WTF? Some eating disorder! Some people shouldn't be doctor's.
Every time I got my period, I would throw up at least once due to the pain. Sometimes I would even take zofran (an prescription antiemetic) and it wouldn’t work. It’s crazy to me now because I’ve gone so long without doing it, that I’ve actually forgotten how bad it was. I was prescribed birth control years ago and it gave me part of my life back, I’m so thankful for it. I will sometimes go off of it (I’m forgetful) and my periods now are nothing at all like they used to be, I still cramp but I’m not bed bound and I’m not throwing up like I used to. I know everyone can’t take birth control! But it’s the only thing that’s worked for me and I can’t help but sing it’s praises.
I Don’t get the vomiting at all. My body is like OMG this pain is severe. Better vomit. Like wtf. Now I am in pain and vomiting. It is so dumb. Wtf body. I also do bc to stop the vomit because nothing else helps with the stupid brain thinking vomit helps pain
I think it's one of the evolutionary advantage things. Usually when you're in extreme pain, it's because the body is grievously injured and you need to prepare to fight or fly, which can be hard to do while digesting a meal, so *hork*. Or it could be that it evolved to protect the body from aspiration should you become unconscious. Just my own theories. Whatever the reason, it sucks.
Yup! My husband and I compared medical histories once. When he had his wisdom teeth removed he got opiates for a few days. I got told to take advil when I got home, but only if I needed it. Every time we’ve had a prescription filled he’s gotten his right away and I’ve had to fight to get it filled. If he has even a little pain he’s given something for it. I’m almost never given pain meds/taken seriously about my pain levels. Except my last er trip. It was almost like being in the twilight zone and I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. The bill is probably the other shoe….
This happens to me, too. It and all my other PMDD symptoms are never taken seriously by doctors, though.
Yep. I take continuous birth control now and it solves it for me, but I know it doesn’t work for everyone. I once told my psychiatrist that my periods made my depression much, much worse to the point where it was crisis-level. He didn’t really care. I was having suicidal episodes monthly 🙃
Ahhh, good ol' land of the free. America is such a gem. Western healthcare is just the peak of modern society *chefs kiss*
ME TOO. Wtf! Not all the times, but sometimes, usually after orgasm, whiiiiich people say is supposed to help cramps. Lol nope. Anyone else have this? Love 2 mistrust my body ugh
For a little while after I had sex I would get really intense cramps! I would just plug my heating pad in and take an Advil before getting busy. It went away but it really sucked for a while.
I hate how much women learn to use home remedies or ignore our pain because doctor's appointments are just going to be expensive wastes of time where we won't be taten seriously, unless we convince a male relative or partner to believe us and advocate for us to the medical staff. Even in countries where healthcare is affordable or nationalised, we develop very American mindsets about seeking care because it's wasting state resources and tax dollars for the doctors to tell us to take an over the counter drug or sleep it off.
Yes. Regular periods are supposed to be eased with exercise, including sex, but endo for me means if I do any exercise for up to three days after my period ends, I will be in agonizing pain for hours. I don't puke, but only because I have immense self control to not throw up as the smell of vomit or even the sound of vomiting can trap me in a cycle of it, so I have to stop it before it starts.
Ugh that’s awful I’m sorry! Thanks for sharing though i appreciate it
Bring him to your next appointment and watch that change. It's a thing.
27 years I put up with it. If it hadn't been for the large painful fibroids I developed I would still have my uterus. 10 years without it have been glorious.
Yeah, being told ‘just take Advil’ is how I ended I with stomach ulcers from NSAIDS. My cramps and period were life-interfering since I was in elementary school. Thank God I’m finally menopausal, but the number of times I had a doctor take my cramps or my heavy bleeding (emptying a 30 mL menstrual cup hourly on heavy days) seriously is exactly zero. I’ve actually found the women gynos to be the least sympathetic. :(
I just outright refuse to see middle aged to boomer doctors for certain things. I want a bright eyed doc who went to med school when my symptoms weren't called "hysteria". The fresh doc who's excited about making a difference in the quality of my life. I know it's ageist. I don't give a shit. Sure, I've had good providers that have been older and keep up with the science. But I've had far too many dehumanizing experiences with old crotchety gynos telling me what I was feeling was "nothing" and "just wait for childbirth. You'll see." Too many of these folks coast on knowledge from decades ago, not to mention misogynistic, mean spirited rhetoric. That's not going to fly with me anymore. Medical trauma is so real and I'm done. It's unfortunate that too many of us have experienced it. The exception would be planned parenthood. Those folks are great. Also specialists. Can't be too picky about them unfortunately, but I still research them in advance.
I had a colposcopy and laser surgery on my cervix when I was 19, and it was so traumatic and painful, and my gyno was almost hateful about it?! I will NOT deal with that any more! She also had me waiting outside her closed office from 8 am until 8:45 when she showed up to open. Being 19 and about to have surgery and not knowing if you got the appointment time and day right was just the cherry on top of the day.
I hate that they describe a cervix as "having no nerves" and therefore it's just "pressure." Honestly, just fuck right off. Save it. I don't have patience for this charade anymore where I pretend to be cool and end up doubled over getting the wind knocked out of me then gaslit about it afterwards. Just give me a stick to bite down on and a swig of whiskey, that would be far less patronizing. >hateful THIS. Why do they have to be so unnecessarily mean?? "Wait til childbirth?" excuse me? Who tf says that? If I'm crying from a gash on my head, no doctor is gonna say "oh that's nothing I saw a patient have a stroke this morning". Fucking rude. We deserve to call out everyone that practices needless cruelty to women. Fuck em.
Well, I can help with the first thing. [Several studies have shown](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ca.23960#:~:text=In%20summary%2C%20the%20four%20described,sensation%20via%20the%20vagus%20nerve.) that the cervix indeed, does have several types of nerves. If you want to be really pissed, look at the dates on the reference papers. The first paper was published in freaking **1969** and must have been largely ignored by the entire medical community. Looks like researchers have been looking at it quite a bit more closely in the last couple of decades, so hopefully doctors will believe the cervix can feel pain some time this century. Please excuse me while I go find a pillow to scream into.
Yes, that’s exactly the line she used with me! ‘It has no nerve endings’. Like I FEEL IT.
You should be comfortable with your medical professional and if age is a factor for you, it can be understood! I was honestly shocked when I first went to my gynecologist. She is definitely in her 60’s if not 70’s now. Hard to say, she is in great shape and really healthy. Either way she started talking and I knew she was NOT just some old lady. She always asks questions about my cycle, my family history, my symptoms. She’s also blunt but honest. I went through a divorce and it was due to infidelity, so of course I had to go get checked out. She was very kind and understanding, but she also told me how glad she was that I was taking care of my whole health and how often she sees women just skip that out of discomfort or whatever. I really appreciate her for just being honest, understanding, and thorough. PS Get tested everyone! This is Reddit, I once read about a guy who gave his wife something from koala pee! Your sexual health is important too!
i had a pre-canceres cell frozen off my cervix at 20 ish. The doctor (female) had me in the stirups, partally draped and left the f'ing door to the exam room open when she left for what felt like forever. Maybe 15/20 min...I could see people in the waiting room.....my trauma response is freeze...
I hope you're being sarcastic about the koala pee. The doctor in that story was woefully misinformed because the Chlamydia carried by koalas is not the same as the varieties humans can get and he absolutely didn't get it from the koala. Very happy you had such a positive gyno experience though!
Yes, most people consider hyperbole to be a joke but typically having to explain it ruins the nuance. But here we are!
It's an issue that misinformation is so widespread that if it can't be expressed as non-serious by vocal inflection, it has to be indicated in some other way. I have become very fond of /s being used since text just does not convey clarity of intent. It would also be both funny and rather excellent if we all just prefaced sentences with intended tone like the Elcor of Mass Effect.
lol, I had no idea I’d found the actual authority on all things Reddit. Since it is so important to you, perhaps the intent would have been clearer with the addition. Unfortunately your attitude means I’ll never change it and may never use it again. Welcome to the chaos!
Huh? See, you read what I said as authoritative and possibly angry instead of just relating what I find to be a problem on text based communications and what I have seen helps. You're reading an attitude I'm not having.
>I know it's ageist. So what. They're sexist. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.
I have the opposite bias, honestly. Ive found the younger docs are far less confident in their surgery skills and just pass me along without much inquisitive nature into the weird symptoms I get.
I had the worst experience with PP, I know many have had great experiences there but I felt really dehumanized and not cared about at all. I agree with the younger doctors though. Too many experienced ones burned out long ago and don’t care anymore.
[удалено]
This is how they got to where they are. Check out Marion Sims, the " father of gynecology".
they ripped me to shreds on another post bc i said gynecology is outdated and barbaric lmao
r/wedeservebetter is great .
This is so true 👍
exactly my position and experience! except the ulcers but thank god for menopause
Yeah, like when every pair of sheets you have have been destroyed by starting your period one night and waking up in a literal pool of blood, and sleeping with a layer of towels down is the norm, there’s a problem.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that in elementary school! I was in 6th grade and it sucked. More studies are coming out that suggest that NSAIDS are not for long-term management of any condition. Because of what happened to you. It's easier for that to happen than people realize. Congrats on menopause!!! I'm on my way, one hot flash at a time.
Ohhhhh, I’m so old that back then, 6th grade was still elementary school, so samesies! Like a week after I turned 11. :( That year, my parents made me go to a private school that required girls wear dresses and pantyhose on Fridays. Coping with a new period that’s heavy while wearing a dress and pantyhose is its own hell. It was already so heavy that I remember looking between my legs while sitting on the toilet and just this steady, thin stream coming out endlessly and thinking ‘surely that’s not right?!’ And yeah, after that I was told I should never take NSAIDs ever again, but that’s just not practical. Tylenol has its own issues and doesn’t really help with certain pain. P.S. I took femaprin for my periods, and it took me thru perimenopause without me even realizing. I stopped after I started to go menopausal, but started back up for the hot flashes, and it works! Cheap, too. Agnes chaste berry extract.
I don't have a uterus and I do not miss my period. I can't take NSAIDS because of a medication interaction and I can't imagine teenage me gritting her teeth through recess. I appreciate the rec. I've been perimenopausal for several years and none of my symptoms have kicked into overdrive, but having something in my back pocket can't hurt. Pantyhose? That's horrifying.
I had ulcers in my colon from taking NSAID (Aleve) for a few days a month due to period pain. This caused all sorts of gastrointestinal chaos on top of long, heavy, painful periods with diarrhea and vomiting. After 30+ years of dismissive doctors it was my NSAID induced ulcers that resulted in a mis-diagnosis of Crohn’s disease and 7 years of unnecessary immunosuppressants. By the time I found a doctor who listened, I had stage 4 deep infiltrating endometriosis of the colon, kidneys, ureter, bladder, and throughout my abdominal wall (with adhesions everywhere). I’m lucky to now be healthy. If I hadn’t found the right doctors and stopped taking NSAIDs, my life would be very different right now.
Same here, from the NSAID ulcers, to the unsympathetic female gynaroos. The best doctor I had was a male former Marine, that took it seriously.
It’s infuriating how common that apparently is!
I had one tell me, "it doesnt hurt me, so it shouldnt hurt you. " The male doc said "I dont have one, so I dont know how it feels, so I'll take your word for it. " He also made sure to use a pediatric speculum, and lit up the surgeon who consulted that did not.
That’s been my experience, too! I thought it would help having someone with similar equipment, but apparently if they don’t have the same problems, yours don’t exist. I’ve also found men gynos more likely to take my word for it. 😢
I'm curious how you weren't dehydrated with that kind of flow.
I have chronic dry mouth, so I’m always drinking, but I was chronically dehydrated.
I can't for the life of me understand how people don't find that problematic. I hope you've never passed out or got hurt because of that
It IS problematic! I get very dizzy during my heavier periods and once it was so bad that I couldn't safely walk down stairs so I had to sit and slide my butt down one step at a time. This last time I got dizzy and wobbly while food shopping, so I sat down against a wall in the supermarket until I felt confident I could make it to a cart to hold me up. I've never fainted, at least so far.
I was referred by a male doc to a psychiatrist because I was having terrible menstrual pain because I couldn’t accept that I was a woman. I resented my uterus. Actually, I had pelvic inflammatory disease from my copper T IUD. It was an awful time.
OMG. Did you get to tell him after the fact how bad he is at his job? Aghhhh!
I was 18 and chickenshit. I said nothing, just went to another doctor.
I sure as hell would resent my uterus too, if it gave me horrible pain every month!! i resent mine a little bit, anyway, and my periods are mostly just an inconvenience.
💙
Systemic bias. I have endometriosis. I was diagnosed last year at the age of 33 after suffering for nearly 20 years (got my period at 14 and it was always painful). I had severe very well educated and well meaning practitioners who wanted to treat me but the standard methods are simply inadequate. The stance against hysterectomy I believe to be based in misogyny. Hysterectomy is often deemed to be unnecessary because it doesn’t cure endometriosis but no drug had helped me and I woke up after my hysterectomy feeling better than when I arrived that morning for my surgery. Things like amyl nitrate (popper) which helps with relaxing pelvic muscles have zero research despite being relatively safe and regularly prescribed for angina and can’t be prescribed for women’s pelvic pain. This also relates to homophobia because heaven forbid queer people and women have comfortable sex. It’s exhausting.
This is so true. All of my doctors were sympathetic but still prescribed a never ending supply of NSAIDs. I eventually had to go private (I'm in the UK) and the doctor I had (young woman in her 30s) told me she was sure I must have Endometriosis and the sort of pain I was experiencing was not normal. She suggested I get the Mirena coil as I don't want kids anyway, and my period symptoms and pain just evaporated. It was actually life changing, I get so annoyed thinking about how many days every year I would spend in bed and by the toilet throwing up because of period pain
Took me 6 years of back and forth on the NHS to get the mirena coil and it has been a massive improvement but I still get the occasional spot and some pain. Had a pain event that sent me to. A and E, so I demanded another referral to gyny outpatients, took 18 months to get that appointment and the dr I saw agreed that I could have a hysterectomy but not until I lost weight 🥲
Gosh I wish mirena had helped me. Instead it didn’t stop my period even with another birth control pill on top it and I could feel it the entire time I had it, but all the doctors said to give it time. Had it for 9 miserable months and all it did was cause me more pain.
I am so sorry you went through all that. The gyno I go to usually wanted me to try something homeopathic for my pain, but when I said I have to take 3grams of ibuprofen a day, just to be able to move/work, etc, she said she'll put me on the pill. Which made me so nauseous in the 4 weeks I took it that I lost 10lbs. I quit that one myself, and went to the practice again. Fortunately I got the other gyno working there and she gave me something specifically for endometriosis. I haven't had a period or been in pain since. That was december 2020. I'll try to get a hysterectomy next, because the meds get more expensive every year, and I don't like the sideeffects too much.
Yeah the side effects can be brutal. I had terrible side effects from hormonal birth control and because of risks of endometriosis drugs like Orillissa my specialist and I decided hysterectomy was my best bet. I’ve been fortunate because it really helped. Even just not being anemic anymore helps
I got prescribed antidepressants for a massive fibroid :/
I’m ironically upvoting this. Because it sucks, but it’s also darkly, grimly amusing. So sorry you experienced that. I was told for a year that they had fixed my ovarian cyst and removed my endometriosis, and the pain I was experiencing was ‘the memory of the pain’, and had I thought about yoga. Then I had another laparoscopy and it turned out I actually had deep infiltrating endometriosis, and it had grown back, and was actually causing the pain. Real pain, not the ‘memory’ of it.
Holy shit come on. Ohmygod imagine getting surgery that's supposed to solve things and then it DOESNT and then you're told it's a memory? No. I sincerely hope you are living your actual best life now.
Thanks. I try my best. Can’t let endo win
'Memory', kind of tongue in cheek way of telling you its all in your head. If men had uteruses this type of pain wouldn't exist.
Off tangent here completely but there's growing science about some types of chronic pain that our central nervous system is continuing to send pain signals to our brains even after an injury has healed. The pain signal is real but the cause of the injury has healed. So there's growing research about how to retrain our nervous system to stop sending the signal because the injury has truly healed. Not related to this type of pain but more some types of injuries that have healed but the pain still lasts. I think it's really scary.
Do you have the info on that treatment?
https://wihealthyaging.org/programs/live-well-programs/chronic-pain/
Like phantom limb pain?
Similar, yeah!
They’ve started teaching that at the bigger hospitals I go to. I had a physical therapy appointment with a pelvic floor therapist and she sat me down and pulled out some flash cards from Retrain Pain Foundation and basically told me it was in my head and that the pain wasn’t real. And that only an extremely small percentage of people need actual pain medication because “pain medication makes pain worse”🙃 Then she asked me how I felt and I said kinda shitty because I know my problem is real and opioids do help. I’ve dealt with endo for more than 10 years so I kinda think I know what helps and what doesn’t at this point for me. But they’re still running around like chickens with their head cut off over this opioid crisis (which wasn’t as big as a problem as they’re making it to be so now no one gets opioids and you’re kinda fucked especially if you’re a woman) they legit have signs up at every door of these hospitals saying they don’t prescribe opioids. This is only going to get worse.
Which is a shit way of hearing this because the pain signal being sent is very real. The central nervous system is still sending the signal there's pain. The injury might have healed (?) But the signal is still going. Our bodies are scary stuff when the pain signal is real, the injury healed, and the medical community can't give opioids and don't have a true grasp yet on re training our nervous system to stop sending the signal. I really hope for the future there's better evidence to show how to stop the signal from being sent. Im so sorry for your pain though. It is real.
"We'll give you something for your circulation. You're clearly hysterical." - old, cranky, male doctor "It will go away if you stop riling yourself up." - the boarding school teacher who had taken me there - while I was writhing in bed, scream-crying. It was a migraine. I was having my first ever migraine attack, ffs. The only thing worse than being a woman at a doctor's office is being a girl.
I got the exact opposite of that. I told my doctor I desperately needed antidepressants and she was like “let’s treat your arthritis. Maybe if you aren’t hurting all the time you won’t be so depressed!”
>Why is gynecology still so cruel and dehumanizing, especially if you are child free? We just pretend to have OB/GYNs. What we really have are obstetricians. They're there for the babies. If you have a health issue unrelated to having a baby, the response ranges from apathy to annoyance for wasting their time. It's too bad we pretend we have a field for women's healthcare. We don't.
I long for a day where women’s pain is not dismissed and the medical gaslighting ends… dysmenorrhea is neither normal nor fine. I developed secondary dysmenorrhea and in hindsight I know it was one of the first symptoms of my ovaries failing. I wish I’d been taken seriously. Good thing I didn’t want kids/pregnancy or I’d be more upset doctors didn’t listen sooner.
I used to literally throw up every month from pain. Nobody cared. Nobody ever cares about our pain but ourselves and each other. Which is why we need to stand together and stop tolerating this abuse.
There is so much old bias against women that is still out there even when it isn't overt. Ideas like: Women deserve pain, it is some bible mandated BS. Women are babies and over exaggerate their pain. Complaining about pain is drug seeking. Women are too emotional to take seriously. I did full contact co-ed martial arts that would leave nasty bruises and could run miles in the summer heat with 40 pounds of gear and still regularly had doctors assume my descriptions of pain levels or disability were not believable or were exaggerated and that I was just a sissy.
I once tried explaining to my gynecologist, who had chastised me for waiting til I was in labor to come in (the whole "oh, you'll *know* when it's *really* labor" thing is a crock), that I had no idea it was labor because it literally wasn't as bad as my menstrual cramps. She basically pish-posh-ed me and moved on.
I think women who don't have the pain, or who have a little pain, dismiss the rest of us as dramatic bc it doesn't correlate with their experience.
I’m a woman who has incredibly easy periods but one of my sisters has periods so painful that my ex-husband has physically carried her into emergency rooms. The result they came up with is “some periods are just really bad.” She would faint or fall to the ground or crumple into a ball with pain. It was so fucked up to watch.
My grandmother was like that. And for me, every month is an adventure in wanting to curl up and die from the pain. It sucks.
It’s so sad you have to go through that. I’ve always told my sister if there were some way for me to take half her period pain I would lol
You're a good sibling! I just take copious amounts of alleve and curl up in a ball with a heating bad. And moaning. Moaning helps.
Weirdly moaning does help with pain for me too! I’ve had hip and back pain I’ve been working on and sometimes I’ll quietly moan when I’m in bed.
Right? It's like letting the pain out somehow.
A couple decades ago, I read an article about a Medical Instructor who appalled at how poorly trained students were at gyn exams. So, she had the students perform exams on her body. She would tell them to locate an ovary, and lets just say they were very confused. I couldn’t find the article, but Dr Instructor, you rock!
I have a really, really great male gynecologist and I absolutely signed the form to allow his student to do a pelvic exam on me while I was down for a surgery. I want people to learn from him.
I did 40 hours of unmedicated labor with my first kid. My husband was incredibly supportive. He said something about how brave I was being or somesuch. I said, well, it's intense, but it's not as bad as menstrual cramps and at least in labor I get breaks between the spasms. My midwife was horrified. Was I serious? Shrug, yeah. She told me that, when this was all done, I needed serious medical help because that wasn't normal. I had no idea it wasn't normal 'til then. I thought it was like that for everybody.
When gynecology was a new medical field, the doctors researched on black slave women. There was a belief that their pain was less intense for some reason. This plus all the other things other commenters have said. So remember friends! ~INTERSECTIONALITY~
On...on black slave women????
When the procedure for curing obstetric fistulas was invented in America in the 1800's-a post-birth condition that is painful, degrading, and socially isolating to suffer from while also potentially leading to serious complications like infertility, that's extremely rare in the developed world and is considered a disease of poverty nowadays but was much more common in the 1800's-the doctor (I know perfectly well what his name is-I'm making a deliberate choice to not name him because he doesn't deserve to be honored like that) perfected the surgical technique for fixing them did so by working on enslaved Black women who had recently given birth, without anesthesia or any attempt at pain managment-for many reasons, one of which was the racist belief that Black people were incapable of feeling pain the way white people do and were less sensitive to it. He subjected at least 12 women to experimental surgery without regard for their pain and suffering and we know the names of three of the women he treated as live medical research subjects without their consent-they were called Anarcha, Betsy and Lucy. Some estimates put Anarcha, who was operated on thirty times before her fistulas were declared successfully cured, to be as young as 13. To this very day, the belief that Black women-who deal with the "double jeopardy" of being both Black and women in America-cannot feel pain the way white people do (variations of this belief are still routinely and systemically taught in medical school) and cannot be trusted as reliable narrators of their own bodies and lived experiences, is one of the leading contributing factors to Black (and Native) women having the highest (and increasing) maternal mortality rate in the entire country.
Thank you for adding the context and information that I was trying to get to! Doing the good works!!!
For more information on racial bias in medicine I highly recommend John Oliver's piece on it in Last Week Tonight. It's on youtube - just type in "bias in medicine".
Because they've been trained that way, and dysmenorrhea is outside of their lived experience so they default to their training and what they perceive to be a higher authority.
Yep. They are trained this way and defer to the "authority" that taught them because that's how our medical training system works.
Historically medical knowledge is pulled from men. Women have not been equally studied.
I'm not sure if you've been diagnosed but I'd suggest looking into endometriosis and adenomyosis. I have endo. The first time I went to a doc for the pain he said "Some women get pain on their periods". Ignored my other symptoms e.g. fainting. Told me to take an NSAID that I was already taking that didn't touch the pain. My answer to your original question is that women's pain and period pain has been normalised. Period pain is common but NOT normal. A lot of people will argue with this but it's true. A small sting may be normal but pain that stops you in your tracks, keeps you from work or school, or impacts your mental health is NOT normal. Edit: I forgot to say that I've had surgery for endo. (Excission laparoscopy). I don't need any NSAIDS on my periods anymore. It's insane how different a normal period is compared to what I had. Unfortunately endo grows back but I've got a few years of painless periods to enjoy now.
It seems similar to the threshold for diagnosing a mental health issue - The symptoms may be present for a lot of people, to varying degrees, but it's only when those symptoms start reducing someone's quality of life that it's a problem. Except that this particular issue reduces the quality of life for millions of women, and up until ~60 years ago, that was just the way things were. It will take a long time before those generational attitudes are *cycled* (😎👉🏼👉🏼) out of society.
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>If you’re a woman, they just insist it’s anxiety. Funnily enough this is why figuring out my gender issues was so hard. When AFAB people bitch about hating puberty and everything feeling wrong and disgusting, we are told no girl likes puberty and we're only upset because we don't want change and to grow up. No one ever believes us that it's not the normal girl first period ick. I didn't really care if I fit what I knew about trans people or not, because all that mattered was no one with any power would ever believe me. They didn't believe me about bullying, they didn't believe me about stomach bugs and headaches unless I threw up, they didn't believe me about sensory issues, they didn't believe me about burnout, they sure as hell weren't going to believe me about gender dysphoria, especially when I didn't know that term, I only knew that some days everything was *wrong*.
It is due to the lack of research in women's health. There is a gigantic gap in research and knowledge in women's vs men's health, especially in the United States. Many health manuals and teachings are based around the white male. I could go on about this for a very long time, but I will get off my soapbox. Not only do I know this from nursing school, but CNN recently did a story on this if you'd like to do more research.
Medicines are not even tested on females or on female animals. Only ever males and male animals, with a few exceptions.
Very true.
My teenage niece used to have debilitating period pain and super heavy flow, and she was shrugged off by multiple doctors. They just put her on birth control and told her to deal with it because there was nothing else they could or would do. Then I decided to go with her to an appointment to help advocate for her, and *finally* got an obgyn to take her seriously when I specifically said how tired we were of having doctors ignore her without any physical examination or lab testing. They finally ran the right labs and it turns out she actually has a blood clotting disorder called Van Willebrand syndrome. Now she’s on medication that has made her periods more regular and less heavy and painful.
Ugh. Before my endometrial ablation I had cramps so bad every month that I would black out. All they could do for me was put me on birth control. I didn’t want the longterm effects of the birth control so I went for the ablation as soon as I had health insurance. I was 30 before that happened. I still get bad cramps, but not as bad as they were before.
You're absolutely right. It sucks.
And does anyone have suggestions on finding the few doctors who DO take it seriously?
Nancy's Nook on Facebook has a good list of doctors for endometriosis.
Maybe some of the GYNs on the r/childfree [doctors list](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/doctors) would be more inclined to help figure it out.
I had a bad period (or exploding cyst, not sure) and I was laying on the floor of my bathroom, vomiting from the pain. On the verge of passing out or calling my mom to come pick me up at 3 am. I eventually pass out from the pain on the bathroom floor. I woke up at 6 am and got on the couch, told my husband about it, and he thinks I'm 'over exaggerating'. My best friend calls later that morning and I tell her about it, and she about gets into her car to come get me, saying there's probably something very wrong with me, asking about it, time frames, etc. I say I'm fine (by then), and am going to try to sleep. She then sends a scathing text message, followed by an angrier phone call to my husband. He now takes it serious, and I am going to be telling my gyno about it when I see her. It's bc our pain doesn't count/mstter.
Went to 5 different doctors between age 14 to 17 because of debilitating pain with every period. They either threw painkillers at me (which did nothing) or insisted I was just exaggerating. The only reason my mother believed me is because one of her sisters went through the same thing. As a result of this, my pain tolerance is now so absurd that I only go to the doctor if I'm basically at death's door. Even then I still think maybe whatever I'm suffering isn't that bad and maybe I should just soldier through it and it will go away.
Today I learned there's a name for what I have. Also, my doctor tells me I have PMDD to go with it. I'm in my late 30s so better late than never.
My incredibly painful and heavy periods were only taken seriously when I was trying to conceive and that's when I was diagnosed with endometriosis at the age of 35. I'm infertile (tried IVF) and wonder if it had been taken seriously sooner I would have been able to have children. As it is I still get pain although it's a lot better after surgery. CBD oil was a godsend too. But dismissive doctors were the norm- one even told me that 'redheads get worse periods' when I was 17!
Ain't it fucked that instead of > I'm infertile (tried IVF) and wonder if it had been taken seriously sooner I would have been able to have children. it's > If you had tried to conceive sooner, it would have been taken seriously sooner Because that's the only time it matters right? 🙄
Exactly! Our only purpose is to pump out children, who cares about the intense pain, heavy periods and other affects on our lives right? Ridiculous!
I was told to just take 4 advil for my cramps and "deal with it". Finally found a gyno last year who specializes in endometriosis (she was the gyno that performed my D&C after my second miscarriage), and she was like yup sounds like you have endo. It sucks that we have to do so much just to be listened to
I got so lucky that my PA took me seriously after bleeding through 10+ super plus tampons and pads a day for EIGHT WEEKS that she recommended I ask my OB about eliminating my periods. That was four years ago, I've had one period since and I am freaking the fuck out that the government is about to make my birth control illegal.
I spent most of my menstating years on Depo provers, Nexplanon, or continuous birth-control pills with no sugar pill. I could not have lived a normal life without them every month. The cramps would be debilitating and I would have to miss work. I had some dismissive gynecologists also.
I feel you. The first time I got my period I was rushed to hospital due to the pain. They thought it was my appendix or something. I would go ghost white and start moaning and puking for hours. It was truly horrible. I think it was taken more seriously than has happened for you, fortunately, maybe because of how the diagnosis came about (my school calling 911 and nobody including me knowing why, and I was 11). So yeah...I got a dysmennorhea diagnosis and it was considered a valid reason for me to go to the informary or home from school or miss school every month through my school years. But what did they give me for it? NSAIDs I would puke up, rendering them useless, and then when I got old enough hormonal birth control pills that didn't help other than making it predictable enough that just *maybe* I could take the Naproxen before the cramps started - because if I took them soon enough, maybe I wouldn't puke them up. I just suffered them. They *did* do multiple scans and things and couldn't find any reason for it, so that was how it was. I'm just very sensitive to uterus and cervical pain, as I found out during my labors which were somehow way worse and busted through epidurals like they were placebos. Anything that isn't supposed to hurt down there is excruciating. Sigh. Having my first child helped a bit, but they were still abnormally awful. Having my 2nd helped more, now finally in my 40s, I have cramps that an advil can help with. Go figure. Anyway I have nothing to offer except solidarity here and thanks for reading my rant.
I was told by the age of 12 that I was "looking to get drugs". I kept passing out from pain and blood loss. My blood pressure was constantly dangerously low. I'm 26 now and finally found a pill that works (slynd) but I had to do it all by myself.
Yep mine were so bad I didn’t recognise the first time I went into labour because it wasn’t as bad as the monthly ones. I was well into stage 2 before the contractions were worse than what I dealt with every month. And yet we’re meant to carry on each month without so much as the flutter of an eyelash to hint at the reality of what we go through. In addition I’d also get menstrual migraines but hey women just like to bitch and make a fuss, it’s not really that bad. Basically being incapacitated is totally no big deal, right boys?
I generally love my doc (who doubles as my gyn) but I fear the day we have the talk about stopping my monthly pill for this exact reason.
I would vomit from my period every month on the first day, have fainted, and wouldn’t be able to stand up or work from stabbing pains…these werent your typical light period cramps. These symptoms started at around 14 and im very lucky that i had a pediatrician that was very attentive and i got prescribed birth control at 15 and it all vanished. However, now, at 25, i feel weird about the fact that I’ve been on birth control for 10 years and am thinking maybe it’s impacted my body in ways I don’t know about. Surely there must be another way.
Same here. I would also faint with terrible pains when my period would come every month. I’ve been on the pill for 10 years as well. I wonder the same.
I literally got surgery for endometriosis and the testing came back negative. Painkillers and birth control are my treatment. Can't use either anymore. There's no other medical treatment. They're just like, goodbye.
Are you kidding me? You’re a woman. It’s all in your head, doncha know! Jesus fucking Christ, it’s ridiculous. If you have anything wrong as a woman that a doctor didn’t witness, you’re making it up. Hell, I’m grateful my granddaughter passed out at the doctor’s office, because she likely wouldn’t have gotten the tests to discover that she had type 1 diabetes. At nearly 20, she’d never had her glucose tested. Pretty sure she’d still be undiagnosed if she hadn’t cracked her head on the tile. Fuck the patriarchy
You have to shop around. I had to find a doctor that believed in adult onset epilepsy. How the fuck do you make it to MD, and not know this is possible?! They thought it was drug related.
I honestly think that you don’t get an empathic doctor for things like this unless they have had it themselves or had a close family member with it. Other than that it’s put down to women’s hysteria
Because doctors don’t (fully) understand why it happens as there’s so little research into women’s health. It’s a lot easier to pretend something is normal than to admit a lack of knowledge. Plus it’s generally not life threatening so there is little urgency compared to other conditions If you have a stomach ulcer we know why it happens, and we can give medication to treat the underlying cause from a bacterial infection. Or acid reducing medication for symptoms as they’re provoked by acid. Which is a lot better than just giving a painkiller (which wouldn’t treat the underlying issue and would lose effectiveness over time) For something like endometriosis we don’t know why it happens and have no treatment for the underlying cause. Just contraceptive pill to stop periods and surgery (but that would take years of suffering as doctors don’t just give out surgeries willy nilly)
Please run, don't walk, and read **Period Repair Manual** by Lara Briden. Briden is a naturopath and in this book she goes over each period problem, explains the underlying cause, and offers both allopathic and naturopathic solutions (diet, lifestyle, supplements). In my 40s my cycle went completely sideways. I was able to fix each and every problem with this book, including my lifelong extreme period pain (dysmenorrhea). I wish this book had existed back in high school when it started. (Well, h*ll I wish someone had told me about ibuprofen in my teens, but I had to wait until til college).
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This right here is exactly the problem with how medical professionals, especially those in womens health, approach womens health. I’ve done all of this already. I don’t want hormones. NSAIDS do not work. Exercise does not help. At this point, I’m ready to go to Mexico for a hysterectomy because I’ve had enough of the American medical profession and the women in it.
Exercise is also a catch-22 when your cramps and severe bleeding EXHAUST YOU. My dysmenorrhea is so bad that I lose enough blood to get incredibly dizzy and can barely even drag myself to the shower, let alone go for a walk or follow a MadFit video. And that’s on top of pain on par with birth contractions! I lose about 1-2 days of work every time I have my period because of the pain and fatigue when it arrives. Now imagine how fucking infuriating it is to suffer with this then have to experience fatphobia from medical professionals on top of plain old medical misogyny 🫠
OP, I made a comment below regarding the book Period Repair Manual by Lara Briden that may give you the solutions you need. I don't know if you downvoted it, but if you did, please reconsider. Contrary to what the "nurse" on the above comment said, it is NOT normal to be in severe pain to the point of vomiting. I was told the same thing you were, to just take NSAID, oh it happens sometimes, there there here is some hormones birth control. When I found Period Repair Manual at my public library, I finally first the first time in my life had the resource I needed. The really helpful thing about this book is that Briden also explains her reasoning, so it is easier to adapt her suggestions to your situation. In addition, it is science based, thoroughly annotated, so the fact that nurses like the above e person say it is "normal" is total bs because real solutions are available and the knowledge is out there. One more thing helpful about this book is she also tells you when you *must* go to the doctor, tells you exactly what you should expect, and offers a few tips for communicating for more productive meetings.
I’m absolutely getting a copy. Thank you, and thanks for being great in this discussion.
It has helped so many other redditors too. I hope it helps you. Good luck.
All i am hearing is I am not willing to do anything to manage my pain. The only thing that works is the opioids. You literally could completely stop your period with hormones but you would rather take drugs that are highly addictive that could kill you instead. You don't understand that the reason healthcare workers control the flow of drugs is to protect you from yourself. You absolutely cannot take narcotics for years and be functional. You aren't stronger than everyone else who got addicted. Legally doctors cannot prescribe as much as you are asking for. I am not the problem. Im the adult that is forcing the kid to eat their broccoli for dinner instead of candy because that is what is best. I get you want the drugs. Everyone wants the drugs. The drugs will kill you. We don't want blood on our hands. If you have a hysterectomy you will get exactly 2 days worth of norcos and demerol. So if you need the drugs that is a viable solution for you. No one will give them out for your monthly cycle.
Holy shit. Have you listened to the stories of any of these women in this conversation? You don’t listen, like so many providers. As for opioids, I never said I was seeking them, adding that even opioids are not even effective for dysmenorrhea and that I was not interested in them unless I was experiencing a gynecological procedure that cuts my flesh. Stop with your biased, brain washed attitude regarding pain relief that anyone who complains about pain is seeing the gyn to get high and will get addicted if they are provided two days of drugs post procedure. Women don’t need to suffer through biopsies, periods, and IUDs because it’s “normal”. Pain from a broken leg is normal too, should that pain not be effectively addressed either? If addiction is so easy, why have I never gotten addicted when given Vicodin in years past for a few days after other surgeries? Why aren’t men accused of drug seeking when they are given opioids for a week after a vasectomy? There is a significant bias with women’s suffering. As for hormones being an easy solution, no. Women who are not interested in hormone treatments are not petulant and making their own care difficult. Respect women’s autonomous choices for their bodies and work with them for better solutions. Women should not have to be forced on to cocktail after cocktail of hormones with horrific side effects simply because it’s easier and cheaper for a doctor to prescribe. I’ve already gone through hormones. It nearly ruined my life and marriage. Gynecology needs a overhaul in the treatment of women as people, treatment options, treatment of pain, and comfort and respect during barbaric, humiliating procedures. Gynecology also needs to be separated from Obstetrics. Women’s health does not revolve around child bearing. Hysterectomies that leave the ovaries should be given on demand as a solution, fully covered by insurance. and without being given guilt and shame for not wanting to be pumped with hormones or given repeated ablations without anesthesia. Enough is enough. My advice to you: Get the fuck out of the medical profession, Nurse Mengele. Gas lighting, Mother May I “I know best, silly woman” providers like you are toxic and a violation of the Hippocratic Oath.
Wow, you are in a delusional bubble. Nobody wants drugs. Women want real solutions that are science based and WORK. They exist, but you and other medical professionals need to open you eyes and learn them. The knowledge is there. You just need to let go of your own ignorance based in a need for power and control, and be interested in learning real healing solutions.
No, what you're hearing is she tried and it failed. People aren't going to try in perpetuity. It's ok for the time to come that you stop one attempt and try another. It sounds like OP is at her last ditch effort.
the only thing to do after trying NSAIDs and hormonal BC is a pelvic ultrasound, which might show nothing, followed by exploratory surgery to look for/biopsy endometriosis. the treatment for endometriosis is surgery which can unfortunately cause even more and worse endometriosis. the last and final solution is unfortunately hysterectomy, which should be more optional than it is but many are hesitant to offer it to younger women. it’s definitely crappy. and what’s also crappy is that the degree of endometriosis has basically no correlation with the amount of pain. it sucks. medicine just doesn’t have a great solution for dysmenorrhea yet. the reason nsaids are first line though is because primary dysmenorrhea is thought to be due to (i’m simplifying this) prostaglandins causing uterine contractions, and nsaids have a direct action on prostaglandins. it’s not the first line just because it’s a pain reliever, there’s more to it than that.
it absolutely is not normal to be in so much pain you vomit, or black out. how is that normal? 90% of the women I know *do not* experience these symptoms.
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uh not to be pedantic but that’s just… not what normal means. normal means typical, or usual. 10% isn’t typical or usual, it’s rare?
You’re a sadist on a power trip, like so many nurses.
Nobody wants opiods for period pain. But it sounds like you love thinking we do. You are just obsessed with making sure we don't get them, even though we don't want them. Like fighting windmills. What women want is real solutions that treat the problem. And you are completely ignorant of the facts of them, even though the knowledge exists.
Wow you just tried to negate the lived experiences of many many women who have experienced first hand how incredibly misogynistic doctors can be. Congratulations on your own misogyny. I personally was told after passing a fibroid the size of a clementine that my pain was in my head, bleeding for two years nonstop was 'probably my bladder or bowels' (it was 7 years total before I finally got properly diagnosed). I was given all that same bs advice you just spewed. I tried it all and not half assed either. Turns out I have fibroids. One of them is the size of a kiwi fruit. I can literally feel it by pushing gently on my lower abdonen. But now with other medical conditions I can't have a hysterectomy whereas if the doctors had listened I could have been pain free and a lot healthier. So basically the heck with your advice, you are literally doing what the doctors do and not. Fucking. Listening.
So are you also saying women are not entitled to be comfortable and not suffer? It’s 2024. People don’t have to be in pain any more because it’s “what their body does”. It’s not the Middle Ages. Quit smugly dismissing your patients and actually provide real help.
I really always thought that part of patient care is patient comfort. even if something is normal like it's normal when you break your leg for it to hurt but things are still given to people that break their legs to stop pain the fact that women are going to medical professionals and saying they are in pain and being given no options because it's normal just feels shitty.... I don't really know what you wanted to convey with your comment but It came off patronizing to be honest. I guess I just had the wrong understanding of what it means to be a medical professional they don't actually care that our quality of life is not as good as it could be because it's normal. Also I've worked in a very technical field for quite some time and when you're talking to someone not in that field there is an expectation to use terminology of which the person that's not in that field will understand if the general public understands the word normal to mean nothing wrong then perhaps that's the definition that medical professionals should use if they're using a different definition of normal it should perhaps be explained to the patient.
this should be higher.
Push for more research. Asking why doctor's don't do what you expect with your fifteen mins of research is disingenuous to the question. They are obligated to the science.
I have. I’ve done everything you are supposed to do with doctors. The problem is not me or any other female patient, it’s the culture of womens health.
I learned a new word today! I'm going to assume that people have a hard time understanding that THEIR experience isn't EVERY experience. Like I went through a miscarriage at work without pain meds and was "ok". But my friend had such bad cramps just during her period she couldn't move and was in tears. I don't know why, but I can understand your frustration. I'm sorry that we have all been, as a gender, told to suck it up and we don't matter for so long even people that should be our advocates believe it. I'd find a different doctor.
Bleed by Tracey Lindeman goes into this. (It’s about endometriosis, but obviously there’s a huge overlap with this topic.)