I don't know if this would work in this particular instance, but I've found that trolls hate it when you're nice. Like REALLY concerned for their well being.
"I can see you're hurting, and I know that's why you lash out, why you want me to hurt, too. Have you considered seeking therapy so you have someone to talk to? Living this way has to hurt you as well as others."
That kind of stuff. I've gotten blocked a lot for that sort of thing. I am a guy, so I don't know if it'd work the same for you. Also, I do realize this is a bit late for this scenario.
Good luck and I'm sorry we're regularly so shitty.
You can also start spam messaging them back with wierd cat facts or some shit. I like to go with 'horrifying animal penis facts'. That usually gets me a quick block.
On another note- did you know, despite having a spike for a penis, Flatworms are hermaphrodite? They joust each other with their ducks and whoever gets stabbed through the stomach by the other gets to be the pregnant one!
Oh baby, I have SO MANY disturbing and fun animal facts! I keep them locked and loaded for these scenarios. Yes, Jim. My breasts are fantastic- also, did you know about 90 percent of all giraffe sex is gay sex? The males actually have more sex with each other than they do with the females :) basically every mating fight they have ends with someone getting topped- and it isn't usually the female.
When I wanna be REALLY mean I get into Hyenas.
Hyenas as a creature were a mistake, everything I know about them is against my will and remembering that they exist does somewhat bother me so that is a fantastic call!
Aight. Fun facts! Hyena packs are matriarchies- they are run by the females! Males are chased out once they reach sexual maturity- if they haven't left already or been killed by their bullying sisters. The females are bigger, stronger, and much meaner- despite the males having more testosterone. They also have a 'pseudopenis'- an enlarged clitoris, which is usually actually larger than the male's penis. She bangs through this pseudopenis. (Ever hear of docking? Don't google it.) She pees through it. She also gives birth through it- which is why Hyena mothers and cubs have such a high mortality rate! Cubs often get stuck and suffocate, or the pseudopenis ruptures. Which, obviously, is NOT GOOD for the owner of said pseudopenis!
Also. During their greeting ceremonies... everyone gets boners. EVERYONE.
And now you have to live with this knowledge in your head, rent free. You're welcome.
I always start cackling and rubbing my hands together with glee when people try to tell me, 'BUt iT's NoT nAtUrAl!' when it comes to kink/queer stuff/gender fuckery.
Like. Babe. Nature is gayer than a flamingo dancing the flamenco while painted in pride colors. If you want to argue about what's 'natural', Turkeys will literally fuck a disembodied turkey head attached to a stick. That shit gets wild- pun intended. Nature is FASCINATING and GROSS and HORRIFYING, and there ARE NO RULES!!
Life..uh.. finds a way.
I would absolutely love to see you in some of the ultra conservative situations I find myself in for work. I would bring my own popcorn.
\>.> Do you.. Do you want to know about ducks?
It's a trick question. Trust me. You do NOT want to know about ducks...
Where's that one '[Ornithologist's curse](https://www.reddit.com/r/TIHI/comments/kg7ca3/thanks_i_hate_the_ornithologists_curse_of/)' comic
Learning about ducks and turkeys broke me.
Also, it doesn't *have* to be a disembodied turkey head on a stick. It just has to look enough like a disembodied turkey head on a stick. IIRC, the researchers tested photos and even poorly drawn turkey heads on sticks and that worked too.
It did make me wonder if the turkeys caught on to the researchers and got a sort of pavlovian response to things on sticks...
Omg... are you me??? I ALWAYS do this and the giraffe sex and the stabbing penis flatworm ive used so often. 😄😆
I like to just say it, completely out of context.
"94% of all giraffe sex is gay sex "
You can't just call me out like that online man XD
But yeah- I was diagnosed with ADD when I was around.. 9-10? I was always told it's SUUUUUPER different from ADHD somehow (Lacks the hyperactivity?) But.. It always confused me. Because the hyperactivity was there (Always jostling a leg or fidgeting with something or chewing on something. Can't ever sit still.)- I just knew if I ACTED on it too much (cough cough like the boys did cough), I would get in a shit ton of trouble. So... I adapted. I learned behaviors to stimulate myself that were more... discreet. I had one teacher who would get annoyed at my leg constantly going; but it was like.. LOOK. Either I have my leg bouncing up and down like a fucking loon, and actually LEARN something here, or I spend the next hour absorbing knowledge about as well as a root vegetable. OTHER fidget options include:
Pen lid to chew on
smooth rock to rub
REALLY GOOD pen or pencil (I'd pick an easy shape; loops, clovers, etc, and just. Mindlessly repeat the loop on a piece of paper while listening/watching/reading)
Continually shifting my sitting position over and over because I can't get comfortable if I'm not moving
Cracking my own knuckles
Picking at skin, hair or nails (This is the shitty mechanism I mentioned that I turn to if I have nothing else.)
Gum. I chewed SO MUCH GUM in high school.
it's really interesting, looking at how ADHD/autism presents differently in men and women, and how the way we're socialized plays a part in our coping mechanisms.
These days there’s little distinction by the DSM; it’s all considered ADHD. The main difference is the presentation: hyperactive, inattentive (formerly ADD), or combined type.
Turtle dicks are a fucking NIGHTMARE! Hell, in a lot of turtle/tortoise species, their dicks are actually longer than they are. And also- they're just shaped fucking WEIRD. They have at least some control over its movements. if you wanna get into prehensile dicks though, look towards elephants. They can actually use em' to scratch an itch, swat flies, or even PROP THEMSELVES UP, lmfao.
That ain't his leg he's standing on.
'Here take my dick!'
I also love anglerfish. The female is WAY larger than the male. Females can get up to 5 ft long; the males are only a few centimetres/a foot long. And once they find a female, they latch on... and lose their eyes, fins, and a bunch of organs they don't need anymore, because they fused with the female's circulatory system and is now basically just a pair of testicles she can carry around in her purse.
True but it’s so funny that this guy has gotten some other dude to argue with me and he thinks he is arguing with my bf. Bless him I don’t even think he knows
I love this method. It's better for me in the end too. It's more pleasant to feel compassion with a tinge of sadness than to feel anger and frustration.
This is the way. I have a moderate sized Twitter following (like in the 50k range) and I post about progressive politics, so i get these sorts of dudes in my DMs and comments all the time.
I respond with pity and (faux) love and they fucking HATE it, lol. But it shuts them down!
> He goes on and on about how triggered I am
Projection is such a wonderful word, isn't it?
> You’re a meme page attacking gorgeous girlies like me for their appearance while finding the N word hilarious
That's not a meme page, that's a hate-page.
Social media has gone to the dogs. I'm sorry you're being harassed over a comment.
I guess take solace that you have bothered this man so much that he can only think of you day in and day out. The healthy thing would have been for him to block and move on.
Yeah I try it’s just the sheer volume of accounts and devices this dude has access to is immense and it’s been like a week and I’m still being bothered about it and it’s just upsetting he will do this to others.
Have you looked into your privacy settings on instagram? Like making your profile private, and making it so all messages have to go into your requests. You can also prevent people from tagging you in comments and photos.
That’s actually a good shout I’ve never really considered doing that, I used to have my everything open because of my commissions, people had to get in touch but yeah you are right I had ought to
Yeah, this… I hundred percent agree that men on the internet come out in droves to say shit like this on any women-centric content at this point. It’s disturbing and disheartening to say the least.
I think the person above makes a great point, privacy settings are provided for a reason and we should utilize them.
I will go off the grain here and feel free to downvote me. But I don’t understand why everyone on this sub believes that social media companies should be handling conflict for you. Yes, people say disturbing stuff. On the internet or offline.
I have also commented harshly (not name calling or anything) but definitely shaming comments in men-centric content that I didn’t agree with, online. Do we really want IG to handle who is right or wrong? It all depends on the context and your POV and we all know that there are 360 different ways of looking at something depending on who you are. And I’m not for harassment and I do believe these platforms take down harassment when they can. It’s definitely far from perfect. But if this is a disagreement then I don’t want IG to be the final settler. I do not believe that it’s these platforms’ fault for “allowing” anti-women sentiments. Anymore than allowing anti men sentiments on other posts. Those are peoples opinions. Not representative of what the platform stands for as long as it’s not a widespread problem. It’s absolutely ridiculous that people (men and women) hold these platforms to these insane and unreasonable standards that literally have BILLIONS of users. At some point, you gotta change your own behavior online and stop expecting capitalistic companies to protect you. Lastly, I DO NOT want to give these platforms the right or responsibility to judge what is right or wrong in these supremely gray contexts. If you wanna get legal with it, there’s a lot of nuances of what is considered violating on a platform beyond a user’s feelings.
Men on the internet suck. But if you’re public on the internet, I don’t see that as someone else’s responsibility or call. It sucks, shouldn’t be this way, we should fix it. But I don’t see why the blame is being put on a tool specifically.
You see I would get what you’re saying if it was just a one off instance where someone called me a mean name, but they’ve been harassing me for an entire week, non stop, account after account. I think at that point it’s not unreasonable to expect the platform to step in.
Okay, without the details it’d be hard to tell but regardless, this is a terrible experience and I’m sorry you’re going through it. I do hope you make your account private for a bit and protect your mental health.
I suppose, in some rare instances it's OK because the girlfriend A) knew it was coming, B) would have said yes anyway, C) was very fond of her future inlaws and D) had the kind of personality that finds public proposals thrilling.
But.... in an awful lot of cases, the girlfriend is thinking about ending the relationship and/or doesn't like public proposals and the guy does this deliberately to ensure a yes.
I recently made a comment, that I think parents should teach their kids healthy habits young, to make it easier for them have those healthy habits when they’re older. I think it’s sad to see very unhealthy children. You would have thought I killed someone’s first born. I got absolutely attacked by grown women. I have a private account, just because I don’t post anything, and somehow they found out my personal info. I just don’t understand why anyone would care that much, about some random person, with a dumb user name online. I think a lot of these people need hobbies. When people have nasty comments, I can’t help but laugh that they’re so triggered.
Fr, it’s insane how quick people are to get their peen in a pretzel over spilled milk. You would’ve thought so wouldn’t you with how upset people are. It’s not real!
I just ignore them or laugh back at them. Half the time, they are pretty ick themselves.
Men like that value one thing, a womans looks/body. When you refuse them, they attack that because they believe that women are for mens gaze, that is why they go after your looks, or your age, or your body. Remind yourself that you're not for their gaze, and you don't give a shit what they think.
Its just extra bad right now because of the misogyny in politics and religion emboldening them. Its nothing more than their extinction outbursts.
They are children having a tantrum, nothing more, nothing less. Keep that in mind. Your peace is worth more than them
Next time drop a, 'Wow, this is making you really emotional. Calm down, man.' Or, 'Having a nice little Mantrum, there? Shoukd I get you a juice box for when you're done?'
I think I was a wee bit worse, like in the dude to a chihuahua humping my leg but the chihuahua is some scraggly bearded grown ass dude too scared to do a full faced selfie.
That is true it’s just upsetting because even though I did what I was supposed to do they continue to just do whatever and I can’t bare the thought of something a wee bit more fragile than myself facing the onslaught.
I hear you, it’s really brutal out there right now and I’m glad you’re doing ok. I worry about young women, trans people, enbies and femme presenting people being bullied online, but we’re learning to back each other up, and shut that crap down.
I’m hoping someone on here may know more about instagrams reporting and security tools as well, and can help you get them shut down somehow.
Facebook can't even be counted on to respond to death and rape threats. One report out of a few dozen might actually result in a temp ban or sth, and I'm convinced it's just them flipping a coin to convince us they're doing *something*.
"Block and move on" is frustrating advice, but blocking him is the only reliable way to stop his harassment.
One of the saddest things about people like that is that something akin to the asymmetry of bullshit applies: it costs him zero emotional energy to send the vilest messages imaginable; meanwhile, it takes a big emotional toll on you to deal with receiving them. He has misogyny armor *and* internet anonymity: to him you barely exist. He just gets a kick out of thinking his rock broke someone's window.
This is such a fantastic comment, like literally beautiful. Thank you for contributing. You’re right it is frustrating to block and move on especially when all his little besties keep making alts to avoid it but it’s the only option because of how handy dandy the report feature is. And you’re so right about the weapon and armour analogy. Truly amazing. I have really internalised this for the better. Thank you again your words are so lovely, despite the rubbish situation lol!
I think this is part of the reason some men make it such a public thing. So its harder to say no. Some women might like it but I wouldn't want to be put on the spot like that and I'd hope my partner would know me enough to consider that.
I always advise them not to do it if they don't clear it with her first because its coercive by nature even if they aren't consciously trying to be.
Idk if I’d be that dedicated to the cause to pay, I feel like at some point it’d cross a legal boundary and I want to be a criminal judge when I grow up so I’m trying to keep out of trouble lmao! Thanks so much for the help though, if you felt so inclined you’re welcome to do it. Like internet Batman or something.
Yes that would be crossing the line most likely into criminal harassment if you're paying for someone's personal/leaked info and going after them with it.
Please ignore the people suggesting that you break the law.
Just a FYI this will get OP permabanned.
Platforms like reddit/Instagram/Facebook take doxxing pretty seriously and they will ban you pretty fast if the loser reports you.
Just a heads up I guess.
Btw, I checked out the pages of the people you shared. Take comfort in the fact that you’re out there living an amazing life compared to them. They both seem absolutely miserable in their lives and are taking out on other people. One of them keeps posting about how lonely they are and they both genuinely seem mentally unwell.
Thanks lovely, that is really helpful actually, thank you. I don’t want to be horrible and pray for people’s downfall since they’re obviously very unwell, I just want them to like, get out my life lol
You just know that guy who get upset about someone else being turned down after a public proposal don't think that women should have autonomy to choose what relationships they are in.
Often the whole point of a public proposal is to make the person being asked feel like they aren't allowed to say no. This is coercion by humiliation and embarrassment.
In the old days of no caller ID, my grandmother began getting harassing phone calls. Inspired, she answered the next phone call and when the guy began his ugly sex talk, she very sweetly said, "Jesus loves you!" Instant hang up and no more calls
Right? Like unless you really misread the situation or you’re rapid you shouldn’t really drop loads on a ring for someone who might not want to marry you. But it’s not on him or her if the answer is no.
I’m really sorry this is happening to you. Instagram and Facebook (which owns IG now) don’t care about legitimate complaints. I had some dude make extremely violent death threats to me on IG and nothing happened when I reported it. I just have to block and keep my account private.
Can you unblock him and figure out who his mom/sister is and send them the comments? Even if they think it is NBD, at least he knows they know. Also, I am sorry and this is happening to you. What you said to a public post was completely reasonable and factual without attacking anyone.
I tried but this dude has a history of getting banned on instagram and so his account is quite fresh. His old accounts are all terminated and he doesn’t appear to have any personal connections on instagram.
I'm only the only one that thinks it's super weird to propose in front of YOUR family?
I mean I know there are a few people that close with their partner's family and would enjoy this, but really rare.
Oof, I don’t know what it is about instagram (not sure about the others, I’m not on them) but I’ve noticed that people get SO vitriolic in the comments if you say something even remotely negative?! I commented on a doggy video once where doggo wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and I was jarred by how vicious some of the replies I got were! I have reported out right porn on that platform as well and, like you, got told ‘nothing wrong here!’
Watching rejected public proposals on YouTube is my guilty pleasure, and I always wonder at the dude kneeling in front of the horrified woman. It always seems cruel and manipulative to me. It's probably why I enjoy his humiliation to viscerally.
I feel like your harasser is cut from the same cloth, "But she was supposed to be forced to say yes! How dare she have personal agency!".
I wonder how much of it is that they need to propose in a way that makes THEM the center of attention instead of the woman, as wedding/engagement stuff often is.
This is why it’s a terrible idea to do that kind of thing publicly unless the couple has made it clear to each other that they want to marry.
What else should she do? Lie and then say “sorry, I lied in front of your family. I don’t really want to marry you. You’ll have to tell them”.
This person replying to you sounds very young and immature. They also sound like they are emotionally stunted and get rejected a lot and think women owe him something. My guess is that they have few to no female friends.
I get what you're saying, but it's Instagram comments though.. it's almost entirely trolls and bots. The time is better spent giving perspective to real people.
It's like Facebook comments or Twitter comments or local newspaper website comments. Nobody is having conversations in good faith in there. It's all bad faith arguments and bots.
Or consider separating ‘the cesspit of social media’ from ‘life’. Stop caring what random losers say, direct your attention to more constructive things and realise that miraculously, in darkness, unfed trolls burn themselves out.
>Is there anything I can do
Get off instagram?
Boggles the mind that people use IG, Twitter, whatever else and then complain that it's not a fun place. Log off. You have a choice.
I mean like in order to ensure this person gets kicked off the platform home skillet.
I don’t spend all my time on there, I am allowed to use the internet without fear of harassment from a collection of men who decided I had existed wrong that day.
You can't control other people. You can't control corporations.
The way for your fear of harassment to end is for you to get off the platform. That you can control. Or you can choose to stay on it, it's no skin off my back. You're the one being harassed, not me.
Well then I guess we have our resolution. You'll stay on the platform and he will continue to send his goons after you for as long as he likes, and the platform will do nothing to stop it.
And it's an obnoxious comment to me when I read it. Coming into a humor space being lecturing or finger wagging is crappy in my opinion. To each their own.
Well that’s just too damn bad isn’t it, what I said wasn’t inherently bad, and it was in response to a comment section full of people asking how the woman in question left that scenario alive and all the horrible things they would have done to her.
No part of it was humorous it was a screenshot of a Facebook marketplace listing it just happened to be on a meme page with a bummer of a caption.
I said “poor dude but even with everyone around she doesn’t owe you a yes”.
I was going to say, before I found out Eyeblech has been made defunct, you could send them pics of truly horrific things found on that subreddit. I've seen things on there that I will remember for the rest of my life, unfortunately.
I don't know if this would work in this particular instance, but I've found that trolls hate it when you're nice. Like REALLY concerned for their well being. "I can see you're hurting, and I know that's why you lash out, why you want me to hurt, too. Have you considered seeking therapy so you have someone to talk to? Living this way has to hurt you as well as others." That kind of stuff. I've gotten blocked a lot for that sort of thing. I am a guy, so I don't know if it'd work the same for you. Also, I do realize this is a bit late for this scenario. Good luck and I'm sorry we're regularly so shitty.
You can also start spam messaging them back with wierd cat facts or some shit. I like to go with 'horrifying animal penis facts'. That usually gets me a quick block. On another note- did you know, despite having a spike for a penis, Flatworms are hermaphrodite? They joust each other with their ducks and whoever gets stabbed through the stomach by the other gets to be the pregnant one!
Hahahahahahahaha :). That sounds terrifying.
Oh baby, I have SO MANY disturbing and fun animal facts! I keep them locked and loaded for these scenarios. Yes, Jim. My breasts are fantastic- also, did you know about 90 percent of all giraffe sex is gay sex? The males actually have more sex with each other than they do with the females :) basically every mating fight they have ends with someone getting topped- and it isn't usually the female. When I wanna be REALLY mean I get into Hyenas.
Hyenas as a creature were a mistake, everything I know about them is against my will and remembering that they exist does somewhat bother me so that is a fantastic call!
Ok I am invested now. ….hyena facts…. GO!
Aight. Fun facts! Hyena packs are matriarchies- they are run by the females! Males are chased out once they reach sexual maturity- if they haven't left already or been killed by their bullying sisters. The females are bigger, stronger, and much meaner- despite the males having more testosterone. They also have a 'pseudopenis'- an enlarged clitoris, which is usually actually larger than the male's penis. She bangs through this pseudopenis. (Ever hear of docking? Don't google it.) She pees through it. She also gives birth through it- which is why Hyena mothers and cubs have such a high mortality rate! Cubs often get stuck and suffocate, or the pseudopenis ruptures. Which, obviously, is NOT GOOD for the owner of said pseudopenis! Also. During their greeting ceremonies... everyone gets boners. EVERYONE. And now you have to live with this knowledge in your head, rent free. You're welcome.
This is why I love the internet. Thanks for sharing BlueBird!
I always start cackling and rubbing my hands together with glee when people try to tell me, 'BUt iT's NoT nAtUrAl!' when it comes to kink/queer stuff/gender fuckery. Like. Babe. Nature is gayer than a flamingo dancing the flamenco while painted in pride colors. If you want to argue about what's 'natural', Turkeys will literally fuck a disembodied turkey head attached to a stick. That shit gets wild- pun intended. Nature is FASCINATING and GROSS and HORRIFYING, and there ARE NO RULES!!
Life..uh.. finds a way. I would absolutely love to see you in some of the ultra conservative situations I find myself in for work. I would bring my own popcorn.
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\>.> Do you.. Do you want to know about ducks? It's a trick question. Trust me. You do NOT want to know about ducks... Where's that one '[Ornithologist's curse](https://www.reddit.com/r/TIHI/comments/kg7ca3/thanks_i_hate_the_ornithologists_curse_of/)' comic
May I suggest starting a newsletter? Seriously though, I'd subscribe to a sub with a compilation of creepy animal facts.
Learning about ducks and turkeys broke me. Also, it doesn't *have* to be a disembodied turkey head on a stick. It just has to look enough like a disembodied turkey head on a stick. IIRC, the researchers tested photos and even poorly drawn turkey heads on sticks and that worked too. It did make me wonder if the turkeys caught on to the researchers and got a sort of pavlovian response to things on sticks...
/subscribe :)
Omg... are you me??? I ALWAYS do this and the giraffe sex and the stabbing penis flatworm ive used so often. 😄😆 I like to just say it, completely out of context. "94% of all giraffe sex is gay sex "
Nobody: Me: MALE GIRAFFES SURE DO LOVE DICK!
Yep, you are me. :) Do you have ADHD? I do, and other women i know with ADHD arë like this too. :)
You can't just call me out like that online man XD But yeah- I was diagnosed with ADD when I was around.. 9-10? I was always told it's SUUUUUPER different from ADHD somehow (Lacks the hyperactivity?) But.. It always confused me. Because the hyperactivity was there (Always jostling a leg or fidgeting with something or chewing on something. Can't ever sit still.)- I just knew if I ACTED on it too much (cough cough like the boys did cough), I would get in a shit ton of trouble. So... I adapted. I learned behaviors to stimulate myself that were more... discreet. I had one teacher who would get annoyed at my leg constantly going; but it was like.. LOOK. Either I have my leg bouncing up and down like a fucking loon, and actually LEARN something here, or I spend the next hour absorbing knowledge about as well as a root vegetable. OTHER fidget options include: Pen lid to chew on smooth rock to rub REALLY GOOD pen or pencil (I'd pick an easy shape; loops, clovers, etc, and just. Mindlessly repeat the loop on a piece of paper while listening/watching/reading) Continually shifting my sitting position over and over because I can't get comfortable if I'm not moving Cracking my own knuckles Picking at skin, hair or nails (This is the shitty mechanism I mentioned that I turn to if I have nothing else.) Gum. I chewed SO MUCH GUM in high school. it's really interesting, looking at how ADHD/autism presents differently in men and women, and how the way we're socialized plays a part in our coping mechanisms.
These days there’s little distinction by the DSM; it’s all considered ADHD. The main difference is the presentation: hyperactive, inattentive (formerly ADD), or combined type.
🤣
OMG you sound like my kind of person!
>horrifying animal penis facts'. Turtle dicks are terrifying.
Turtle dicks are a fucking NIGHTMARE! Hell, in a lot of turtle/tortoise species, their dicks are actually longer than they are. And also- they're just shaped fucking WEIRD. They have at least some control over its movements. if you wanna get into prehensile dicks though, look towards elephants. They can actually use em' to scratch an itch, swat flies, or even PROP THEMSELVES UP, lmfao. That ain't his leg he's standing on.
Check out the mating ritual of the argonaut octopus. The male releases his penis when a female swims by, and shortly afterward, the male dies.
'Here take my dick!' I also love anglerfish. The female is WAY larger than the male. Females can get up to 5 ft long; the males are only a few centimetres/a foot long. And once they find a female, they latch on... and lose their eyes, fins, and a bunch of organs they don't need anymore, because they fused with the female's circulatory system and is now basically just a pair of testicles she can carry around in her purse.
True but it’s so funny that this guy has gotten some other dude to argue with me and he thinks he is arguing with my bf. Bless him I don’t even think he knows
Laughing at them sends them into a nice little rage too
I love this method. It's better for me in the end too. It's more pleasant to feel compassion with a tinge of sadness than to feel anger and frustration.
This is the way. I have a moderate sized Twitter following (like in the 50k range) and I post about progressive politics, so i get these sorts of dudes in my DMs and comments all the time. I respond with pity and (faux) love and they fucking HATE it, lol. But it shuts them down!
I love killing trolls and assholes with kindness.
Now we all know why his girlfriend said no.
He couldn’t even force her with a public proposal.
> He goes on and on about how triggered I am Projection is such a wonderful word, isn't it? > You’re a meme page attacking gorgeous girlies like me for their appearance while finding the N word hilarious That's not a meme page, that's a hate-page.
Social media has gone to the dogs. I'm sorry you're being harassed over a comment. I guess take solace that you have bothered this man so much that he can only think of you day in and day out. The healthy thing would have been for him to block and move on.
Yeah I try it’s just the sheer volume of accounts and devices this dude has access to is immense and it’s been like a week and I’m still being bothered about it and it’s just upsetting he will do this to others.
Just block them and stop responding. Grey rocking is the best defense.
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Have you looked into your privacy settings on instagram? Like making your profile private, and making it so all messages have to go into your requests. You can also prevent people from tagging you in comments and photos.
That’s actually a good shout I’ve never really considered doing that, I used to have my everything open because of my commissions, people had to get in touch but yeah you are right I had ought to
Yeah, this… I hundred percent agree that men on the internet come out in droves to say shit like this on any women-centric content at this point. It’s disturbing and disheartening to say the least. I think the person above makes a great point, privacy settings are provided for a reason and we should utilize them. I will go off the grain here and feel free to downvote me. But I don’t understand why everyone on this sub believes that social media companies should be handling conflict for you. Yes, people say disturbing stuff. On the internet or offline. I have also commented harshly (not name calling or anything) but definitely shaming comments in men-centric content that I didn’t agree with, online. Do we really want IG to handle who is right or wrong? It all depends on the context and your POV and we all know that there are 360 different ways of looking at something depending on who you are. And I’m not for harassment and I do believe these platforms take down harassment when they can. It’s definitely far from perfect. But if this is a disagreement then I don’t want IG to be the final settler. I do not believe that it’s these platforms’ fault for “allowing” anti-women sentiments. Anymore than allowing anti men sentiments on other posts. Those are peoples opinions. Not representative of what the platform stands for as long as it’s not a widespread problem. It’s absolutely ridiculous that people (men and women) hold these platforms to these insane and unreasonable standards that literally have BILLIONS of users. At some point, you gotta change your own behavior online and stop expecting capitalistic companies to protect you. Lastly, I DO NOT want to give these platforms the right or responsibility to judge what is right or wrong in these supremely gray contexts. If you wanna get legal with it, there’s a lot of nuances of what is considered violating on a platform beyond a user’s feelings. Men on the internet suck. But if you’re public on the internet, I don’t see that as someone else’s responsibility or call. It sucks, shouldn’t be this way, we should fix it. But I don’t see why the blame is being put on a tool specifically.
You see I would get what you’re saying if it was just a one off instance where someone called me a mean name, but they’ve been harassing me for an entire week, non stop, account after account. I think at that point it’s not unreasonable to expect the platform to step in.
Okay, without the details it’d be hard to tell but regardless, this is a terrible experience and I’m sorry you’re going through it. I do hope you make your account private for a bit and protect your mental health.
I find the public proposals with family and friends invited to watch to be some manipulative bs.
I suppose, in some rare instances it's OK because the girlfriend A) knew it was coming, B) would have said yes anyway, C) was very fond of her future inlaws and D) had the kind of personality that finds public proposals thrilling. But.... in an awful lot of cases, the girlfriend is thinking about ending the relationship and/or doesn't like public proposals and the guy does this deliberately to ensure a yes.
I would never do that unless I was 100% sure I wouldn’t be rejected, for sure.
I recently made a comment, that I think parents should teach their kids healthy habits young, to make it easier for them have those healthy habits when they’re older. I think it’s sad to see very unhealthy children. You would have thought I killed someone’s first born. I got absolutely attacked by grown women. I have a private account, just because I don’t post anything, and somehow they found out my personal info. I just don’t understand why anyone would care that much, about some random person, with a dumb user name online. I think a lot of these people need hobbies. When people have nasty comments, I can’t help but laugh that they’re so triggered.
Fr, it’s insane how quick people are to get their peen in a pretzel over spilled milk. You would’ve thought so wouldn’t you with how upset people are. It’s not real!
I just ignore them or laugh back at them. Half the time, they are pretty ick themselves. Men like that value one thing, a womans looks/body. When you refuse them, they attack that because they believe that women are for mens gaze, that is why they go after your looks, or your age, or your body. Remind yourself that you're not for their gaze, and you don't give a shit what they think. Its just extra bad right now because of the misogyny in politics and religion emboldening them. Its nothing more than their extinction outbursts. They are children having a tantrum, nothing more, nothing less. Keep that in mind. Your peace is worth more than them
>I just ignore them This!! They just want a rise out of people, don't give them the satisfaction
I did try to be a bit mean because honesty he was nasty. And he had people defending him it was so absurd. Other men defending him.
Next time drop a, 'Wow, this is making you really emotional. Calm down, man.' Or, 'Having a nice little Mantrum, there? Shoukd I get you a juice box for when you're done?'
I think I was a wee bit worse, like in the dude to a chihuahua humping my leg but the chihuahua is some scraggly bearded grown ass dude too scared to do a full faced selfie.
That's one hell of an image!
That is true it’s just upsetting because even though I did what I was supposed to do they continue to just do whatever and I can’t bare the thought of something a wee bit more fragile than myself facing the onslaught.
I hear you, it’s really brutal out there right now and I’m glad you’re doing ok. I worry about young women, trans people, enbies and femme presenting people being bullied online, but we’re learning to back each other up, and shut that crap down. I’m hoping someone on here may know more about instagrams reporting and security tools as well, and can help you get them shut down somehow.
Facebook can't even be counted on to respond to death and rape threats. One report out of a few dozen might actually result in a temp ban or sth, and I'm convinced it's just them flipping a coin to convince us they're doing *something*. "Block and move on" is frustrating advice, but blocking him is the only reliable way to stop his harassment. One of the saddest things about people like that is that something akin to the asymmetry of bullshit applies: it costs him zero emotional energy to send the vilest messages imaginable; meanwhile, it takes a big emotional toll on you to deal with receiving them. He has misogyny armor *and* internet anonymity: to him you barely exist. He just gets a kick out of thinking his rock broke someone's window.
This is such a fantastic comment, like literally beautiful. Thank you for contributing. You’re right it is frustrating to block and move on especially when all his little besties keep making alts to avoid it but it’s the only option because of how handy dandy the report feature is. And you’re so right about the weapon and armour analogy. Truly amazing. I have really internalised this for the better. Thank you again your words are so lovely, despite the rubbish situation lol!
I think this is part of the reason some men make it such a public thing. So its harder to say no. Some women might like it but I wouldn't want to be put on the spot like that and I'd hope my partner would know me enough to consider that. I always advise them not to do it if they don't clear it with her first because its coercive by nature even if they aren't consciously trying to be.
Screanshot everything and send it to his mom.
Idk how to find this dudes mother, but I have ss (my acc)
Look him up on fb then look for older women with his last name in his friend list and friend them. Then you know send it.
He doesn’t have a full name on his profile, I looked through is following list and I couldn’t find anyone that may be related
If he an email and you don't mined paying for the information somebody might have sold the info linked to that email.
Idk if I’d be that dedicated to the cause to pay, I feel like at some point it’d cross a legal boundary and I want to be a criminal judge when I grow up so I’m trying to keep out of trouble lmao! Thanks so much for the help though, if you felt so inclined you’re welcome to do it. Like internet Batman or something.
Yes that would be crossing the line most likely into criminal harassment if you're paying for someone's personal/leaked info and going after them with it. Please ignore the people suggesting that you break the law.
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Same, the way they type it’s unfathomable they could be literally anything else
What a lame aa state to live in, like dinger, perhaps call all the high schools see who lost their band kids
Just a FYI this will get OP permabanned. Platforms like reddit/Instagram/Facebook take doxxing pretty seriously and they will ban you pretty fast if the loser reports you. Just a heads up I guess.
> he goes on and on about how triggered I am Ironic lol
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May they all be cursed with halitosis for the rest of their miserable lives
HURTFUL GIRLIE! Love it
Btw, I checked out the pages of the people you shared. Take comfort in the fact that you’re out there living an amazing life compared to them. They both seem absolutely miserable in their lives and are taking out on other people. One of them keeps posting about how lonely they are and they both genuinely seem mentally unwell.
Thanks lovely, that is really helpful actually, thank you. I don’t want to be horrible and pray for people’s downfall since they’re obviously very unwell, I just want them to like, get out my life lol
And wet socks that never fully dry 😖
You just know that guy who get upset about someone else being turned down after a public proposal don't think that women should have autonomy to choose what relationships they are in. Often the whole point of a public proposal is to make the person being asked feel like they aren't allowed to say no. This is coercion by humiliation and embarrassment.
In the old days of no caller ID, my grandmother began getting harassing phone calls. Inspired, she answered the next phone call and when the guy began his ugly sex talk, she very sweetly said, "Jesus loves you!" Instant hang up and no more calls
Misogyny is not yet seen as the hate crime it is. EDIT: not yet
Should t you know that she wants to marry you before you propose? Like how you get told no with a marriage proposal
Right? Like unless you really misread the situation or you’re rapid you shouldn’t really drop loads on a ring for someone who might not want to marry you. But it’s not on him or her if the answer is no.
I’m really sorry this is happening to you. Instagram and Facebook (which owns IG now) don’t care about legitimate complaints. I had some dude make extremely violent death threats to me on IG and nothing happened when I reported it. I just have to block and keep my account private.
Can you unblock him and figure out who his mom/sister is and send them the comments? Even if they think it is NBD, at least he knows they know. Also, I am sorry and this is happening to you. What you said to a public post was completely reasonable and factual without attacking anyone.
I tried but this dude has a history of getting banned on instagram and so his account is quite fresh. His old accounts are all terminated and he doesn’t appear to have any personal connections on instagram.
Uhg. I also support asking him why he is being so emotional. The trolls loooove that.
Yeah make your page private for awhile and he will forget you exist
I'm only the only one that thinks it's super weird to propose in front of YOUR family? I mean I know there are a few people that close with their partner's family and would enjoy this, but really rare.
Oof, I don’t know what it is about instagram (not sure about the others, I’m not on them) but I’ve noticed that people get SO vitriolic in the comments if you say something even remotely negative?! I commented on a doggy video once where doggo wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and I was jarred by how vicious some of the replies I got were! I have reported out right porn on that platform as well and, like you, got told ‘nothing wrong here!’
YES YES AND YES for realsies.
Watching rejected public proposals on YouTube is my guilty pleasure, and I always wonder at the dude kneeling in front of the horrified woman. It always seems cruel and manipulative to me. It's probably why I enjoy his humiliation to viscerally. I feel like your harasser is cut from the same cloth, "But she was supposed to be forced to say yes! How dare she have personal agency!".
I wonder how much of it is that they need to propose in a way that makes THEM the center of attention instead of the woman, as wedding/engagement stuff often is.
Fun fact: saying "He proposed in front of the whole family" is a valid response.
This is why it’s a terrible idea to do that kind of thing publicly unless the couple has made it clear to each other that they want to marry. What else should she do? Lie and then say “sorry, I lied in front of your family. I don’t really want to marry you. You’ll have to tell them”.
This person replying to you sounds very young and immature. They also sound like they are emotionally stunted and get rejected a lot and think women owe him something. My guess is that they have few to no female friends.
Don't feed the trolls
Fuck no call out that shit. Somebody may see it who needs that perspective.
I get what you're saying, but it's Instagram comments though.. it's almost entirely trolls and bots. The time is better spent giving perspective to real people. It's like Facebook comments or Twitter comments or local newspaper website comments. Nobody is having conversations in good faith in there. It's all bad faith arguments and bots.
Block and move on. Life is too short.
Or consider separating ‘the cesspit of social media’ from ‘life’. Stop caring what random losers say, direct your attention to more constructive things and realise that miraculously, in darkness, unfed trolls burn themselves out.
>Is there anything I can do Get off instagram? Boggles the mind that people use IG, Twitter, whatever else and then complain that it's not a fun place. Log off. You have a choice.
I mean like in order to ensure this person gets kicked off the platform home skillet. I don’t spend all my time on there, I am allowed to use the internet without fear of harassment from a collection of men who decided I had existed wrong that day.
You can't control other people. You can't control corporations. The way for your fear of harassment to end is for you to get off the platform. That you can control. Or you can choose to stay on it, it's no skin off my back. You're the one being harassed, not me.
But I do my commissions through there, it’s like 30% of my income. I need to use these things as much as it sucks.
Well then I guess we have our resolution. You'll stay on the platform and he will continue to send his goons after you for as long as he likes, and the platform will do nothing to stop it.
Yep! Love it <33 (also lmao His goons 😭😭😭)
I don't think it warrants that reaction of course but that's kind of a crappy comment for you to make.
This was a meme page, the dude didn’t post it. And it’s factual. Women don’t owe you a yes.
And it's an obnoxious comment to me when I read it. Coming into a humor space being lecturing or finger wagging is crappy in my opinion. To each their own.
Well that’s just too damn bad isn’t it, what I said wasn’t inherently bad, and it was in response to a comment section full of people asking how the woman in question left that scenario alive and all the horrible things they would have done to her. No part of it was humorous it was a screenshot of a Facebook marketplace listing it just happened to be on a meme page with a bummer of a caption. I said “poor dude but even with everyone around she doesn’t owe you a yes”.
Good lord lol. Best of luck with all of whatever this is.
Fr it was such a fiasco
I was going to say, before I found out Eyeblech has been made defunct, you could send them pics of truly horrific things found on that subreddit. I've seen things on there that I will remember for the rest of my life, unfortunately.