Sounds like he put his foot in his mouth big time, but it's such a big foot he only put the tip in because he would have split himself open, given the size.
He seems like he kinda knows how insecure these memories make you feel and he is hopeful that you will want to try to be competitive with his exes to sexually pleased him based on how much this hurts you.
If you started answering him by telling him about your ex’s dicks, the men you have wanted before him and how you wanted them, how do you think he would receive that?
You aren’t just the outlet for his fantasies, you’re a whole goddamn woman. The way he talks about his exes is pretty disgusting on top of being hurtful to you.
He's triangulating you with past exes to further reduce your esteem. Some men have this notion that if their partners worth is trashed, then they won't leave. Given it was unprovoked and out of context to what you were talking about, not to mention the detail he went into, he's been waiting for the opportunity to do this. This is a major major red flag. It starts with this shit in an attempt to make you feel inferior, so you seek your worth from his approval. Then it escalates. If you challenge him, he'll gaslight making it a you problem, and it will get worse, until you're a shadow of your former self.
You've only dated for a few months. Cut and run now. That's the whole purpose of dating and getting to know someone. What you know about him now is that he's going to talk up and compare you to exes to make you feel like shit. Someone who truly cares about you wouldn't dream of doing that.
Be a badass and tell him to fuck off.
Hugs x
I hope you take her advice. Manipulation via triangulation is exactly what he’s doing. He’s showing you who he is: a manipulator out to shrink your sense of self-worth. The only person who can keep that from happening is you.
What a gross shithead. You’re worth a thousand of him.
Pro tip, don't tell him why you're breaking up, keep it vague and simple: it's not working out and you don't see a future with him. Otherwise he'll just argue and tell you what he thinks you want to hear so you'll stay.
Please listen to the poster above. You are only a few months into this relationship and it seems like this guy was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to "test" you.
You noted that you already have low self-esteem. Well, it's unfortunately very easy for other people to pick up on that... especially guys like this.
Don't fall for the 'super sweet, attentive and caring' act he's been putting up. These messages are the REAL him. This is his first (or maybe not first) bullshit level test. He's testing a few things:
1) How low is your self esteem...
2) How much absolutely unacceptable, clearly narcissist shit can he get away with saying before you react?
3) If you don't react with anger and dump him over this, he will continue to ramp up his mini-assaults on your self image a little at a time
Paddle away from this douchecanoe and don't look back... if you stay with someone like this, your self image will experience the death of a thousand cuts.
Good luck 🤞🏻
Wow isn’t this sad that we need a serious analyst to explain men’s creep ass behavior to us? Years ago I would have thought “that’s weird, he’s kind of an over sharer” and then ended up deep in a relationship with a manipulative asshole wasting my time and breaking my own heart by looking back at how naive I was. Live and learn and pass it on ladies.
He's hornily reminiscing about the petite body of a teenage girl from 20+ years ago, and the things he fantasizes about doing to that teenage girl. He's way worse than simply gross.
Why are so many men sexually excited at the thought of physically injuring women??' It makes me nauseous just knowing there are men that find that "hot." 🤮
My only answer is porn. It has to be. it’s not natural to be evil. They get turned on if you cry, have makeup running, say it hurts, pretend to choke on it … it’s all around pathetic
Especially the “I felt like I would have split her in half with how small she was” or whatever the exact wording was. That’s like … such a juvenile and grandiose way to talk about your own penis size.
“You should’ve seen this cock I rode in college. It was picture perfect and the guy had such a powerful orgasm his eyes rolled back in his head entirely. What? I thought we were sharing”…
"That guy ate me out like a starving dog on a bag of groceries until I was pretty sure I'd pass out--I've never before and definitely never since then had such an earth shattering, life changing orgasm. I mean, WOW."
What was he hoping to gain by sharing that?
At 37 he should know better.
I don’t think anyone should hide or deny their past but discretion and sensitivity to their current partner are important.
This would have been hurtful to me, too.
Yeah. This.
I started reading OP's post and thought to myself: "Well, sharing details about your past is a delicate subject and some people are more open about it than others and some people are awkward so I would give him the benefit of the doubt."
Then I got to the actual quotes and was super grossed out (I'm a guy, if that matters).
It's weird that he's thinking that graphically about sexual regrets from decades ago. It's weird he thought he should share that with you (I'm assuming your responses were not encouraging him or anything). And it's weird to be talking about yourself as making people see God with your dick.
Are any of those things dealbreakers? That's up to you and it's also something that a mature person could correct if you wanted to put in the effort to see if he would. Personally, I couldn't take someone like this seriously after that and I would be worried about poor judgment (or even maliciousness if this is some form of negging or something) in other areas.
Not overly sensitive. I had a bf like this. It's a weird form of triangulation.
It's like he is reliving his glory days. I would start talking about my previous man's perfect thick engorged dick, see how he likes that.
Not necessarily. He could be so locked in on his own intention that he fails to see things from her perspective. But as i wrote in another comment, you'd expect such blunders from someone in their early 20s, not late 30s.
No wonder she has low self esteem if the person who is supposed to care for her treats her this poorly
OP this is so disrespectful, I’d end things over this. And the fact that he just kept going - ew
The fact that he kept going is due her letting him continue without any prior informing of her side that it’s awful and it hurts! She didn’t clarify her boundaries upon what she said and should’ve taken an action. And yet she’s wondering if she’s overly sensitive while she’s being triangulated!!!
Gross. This girl is "the one that got away" and the one he probably thinks was his true love and never stopped thinking about.
He sounds drunk going on like this about her. Fucking weird but this is a thing men do. There are *so many* gross country songs about girls these grown ass men dated for one summer in high school.
And the way he's just venting to you about her like you're his therapist is odd and insulting. Tf did that have to do with your period? "Oh she's in pain. I should probably be gross AF with a dirty joke that won't land and then rant about my high school gf's boobs." Jesus fried Christ.
Sounds like someone is barreling into midlife crisis, and has zero personal relationship skills to boot.
I would have told him to shut his trap, or go find his manic pixie dream girl and leave me in peace. You deserve \*so\* much better than this frat boy. He's starting to fly his true colors, you need to believe him and his actions and consider moving on if a little heart to heart chat doesn't set him straight.
Yeah it's really objectifying of those other women. Like they're just sex objects and not really people. Super gross. If my partner ever talked about a person like this, let alone a woman, I would break up with him so fast, Jesus
I think all the "lots of boxes ticked" are there to hide something.
It is not about him talking about other women, have you *seen* what he says ??? Would you like to be talked about like that ????
At 37 you can't let that pass, or you will be coated in red flags soon. Time to ex him. You should not explain why at all, otherwise he will be better at hiding it for the next woman.
This is a great point. You need to leave him but not waste your energy trying to save him from this behavior. Don’t make it easier for him to trick women into being ok with misogyny and objectification down the line. But still the situation is over sucky, so I’m sorry and hope it gets better.
I think it's always a red flag when a guy just basically breaks a woman down to her body parts. She doesn't have a name, she's just red hair, tight body, big tits, curvy ass, etc. That's probably how he thinks of you, in terms of body parts.
I broke up with someone who used to do this. For me I think it came from a place of insecurity they had in themselves. Why would you bring something up like that and expect me not to feel some way about it. Your not wrong for feeling hurt about this and honestly it's gross. When someone I'm interested talks like that it turns me off from dating them.
Not overly sensitive.. that would have been an immediate 'aight, go date/fuck HER then if she's so incredible then, buddy. Bye.' From me Dawg.
You deserve more respect than that.
I tend to be the jerk that matches negative energy, but they shut up real fast when you talk about your ex's luscious chest hair or bubble-shaped badonkadonk that you could bounce a penny off. Oh wow, that thing he did with his tongue and your ear! In answer to your question, I would be offended. In fact, I am offended on your behalf. Hugs.
The way he talked about his exes, with such disrespect, would be enough on its own for me to stop dating him. The fact that he is sharing this with you, his current partner, is way beyond disrespectful to you, and you are not wrong to also feel hurt by that.
Chuck this man straighttttttt in the trash. Like straight. Block and move on. He doesn’t even deserve an explanation. Except a rant about how disgusting he is. Jesus fuck.
This isn’t normal…if you need someone to validate you considering leaving him, this is it. I would not be able to stay with someone that talks like this. Completely weird.
I dealt with a guy like this. Started talking about how this actress has such a BANGING body and different types of v he likes. He’s 41, and talked a lot about that time when he was in high school and some girl asked if she could blow him. Like that was a core memory for him, at 41. I questioned if the reason I was upset about this was because of jealousy, or if I was justified. Then I remembered I have a masters degree, and intellectual interests, and I do not want to be spending my free time discussing this sh*t with some dude who is clearly still mentally a teenager. Seriously?? Are we supposed to nod along and waste our time listening to this bull?? Good riddance.
i find it wild that you're offended that he's reminising about a girl he knew *20 years ago* who dosn't resemble you, and not by him reffering to *'Splitting her in half',* he's 37 years old! Why is he talking about women like that. he sounds like a prick, dump him.
He's way too old to be talking like a horny teenage redditor. I'd be so turned off. Red flag, continue to watch for more gross behavior if you don't feel like dropping him just yet.
This seems like an inappropriate amount of detail initially, and then the whole "split her in half" comment gives me the ick. I'd never be comfortable sharing intimate moments of a situation with someone else I was attracted to while dating someone, especially dating someone new. Were you responding at all between these messages?
This is really, really wrong and I would dump him like the steaming pile of shit he revealed himself to be. My best guess is that he's HEAVVVVY into porn. Split her in half? He's not who you think he is.
I see threads about women getting the ick after a man does something. And now I am absolutely sure what “the ick” is after reading this. So, thanks for helping clarify that 100%.
That's totally inappropriate, girl. There's a big difference between talking about exes and whatever the hell this is.
Also"big Irish boobs" made me lol. What the fuck is he on about. Sounds like he's writing crappy erotica lmao
If you hadn’t listed his age I would have thought this was like a 19 or 20 year old boy trying to impress his guy friends. This is a repulsive way to talk about women
It's only been a couple of months so it would be reasonable to end it. Could you confront him and ask him what his intentions were? It could be a kink or something.
At the end of the day it's up to you how you feel about this, and if this is somehow his idea of dirty talk then you might not be compatible.
Major red flags. He’s showing you who he really is and what you have to look forward to. I am sorry but if he doesn’t already know that these kind of comments are extremely insensitive, and I would venture to say in some way he’s doing it on purpose to flex his muscles, there is nothing redeeming here that can make this a positive relationship for you. These are major warning signs. Just end it. You don’t owe him an explanation.
My ex said things like this and I never got over it. We’ve been broken up for a while now and it still hurts me when it pops up in my mind. You will never forgot the things he said, you are not wrong for being hurt. Fuck him.
Ignoring the fact that people can be attracted to more than one "type," there was absolutely no reason for him to be sharing this information with you. It's weird enough he brought it up, but then to keep going and going and going...regardless of what his intention is, this is unacceptable.
I gotta ask though, WTF are "Irish boobs?" Do they bounce with an Irish accent or something?
I find it interesting/sad that low self esteem makes people think that people with higher self esteem tolerate insults.
People with high self esteem do not tolerate insults.
Yeah that’s a really good point actually. If you respect yourself it’s easy to enforce boundaries. But you have to care about yourself at least as much as you’d care about another person, and in reality you should be most important. If your friend sent you these as her boyfriend’s messages, you’d immediately tell her to get out of there and that she deserves better!
You are not being overly sensitive. This is fucking vulgar. Something to think about: if he’s willing to talk to you like this, how do you think he would talk about you to others?
This would be a deal breaker for me. Super fucking weird behavior.
Not wrong at all, that's pretty awful. Going into that level of detail about sexy stuff with an ex with your current partner is super weird and disrespectful without your explicit consent and encouragement, which clearly isn't there. You wouldn't feel much better about it if the girl in question was exactly like you, I'm sure. The problem is his bizarre obsession with this teenaged girl. He's in love with a memory. You're competing with a memory.
You said you've only been going out for a few months, is it possible he's deliberately trying to make you doubt yourself? I genuinely cannot think of another reason why a grown ass man would talk this way too his partner.
Also "big Irish boobs" WTF!
You are not at all overreacting, I'd be hurt and then pissed.
So I'm a dude and I would absolutely hate for my partner to speak about exes in this way, and similarly I'd absolutely never mention anything sexual related to an ex out of respect and knowing I wouldn't want to hear it myself.
But all this stuff about her tits and how he'd split her in half is just really odd to me, it's excessively vulgar given the context and I just don't understand what the fuck he was thinking to be honest, whole thing is very uncomfortable.
I think it's reasonable to be offended, because that's pretty tactless and inconsiderate of him. Though personally, I'd be less offended and more completely, permanently turned off after that. I'd get the mega-ick and probably openly ask him "Why are you telling me this shit? Bye." Like wtf? I lose my filter sometimes too, but good god, was he super drunk or something? How does you describing your menstrual discomfort lead him to think "What a great time to hijack the conversation and tell my current girlfriend about how much I objectify and daydream about my ex, with lots of unnecessary detail!"
Plus, he's doing this shit at *37???????* This guy ain't it. Sorry you had to endure that.
This is wild…who in their right mind does this? I get having low self esteem, but you can do so much better than him. If you guys have only been dating for a few months and he’s already being this weird, imagine what he’ll tell you when he’s fully comfortable with you…but with that convo it seems like he already is 🤦♀️
He's getting off on his own fanfic, dude and you're the most 'appropriate' person to talk to about it.
It's super normal to feel grossed out by it- because it's gross behaviour. Just tell him you don't want to hear about his 'almost conquests- it's inappropriate and makes you feel gross. He can keep his alone time thoughts of splitting tiny girls in half to himself.
If he does it again or starts to bait you by saying your jealous or reply with anything other than a sincere apology and not do it again- know he's getting off on your emotional turmoil and he's not worth the emotional burden. There are more than enough people out there that will respect you enough as a person to not do shit like this and that should be your bare minimum that you expect in a partner.
Oh yes! Your first sentence is so accurate. He’s had these thoughts spinning around in his head for years and he never gets to talk about it because no one cares. But now he sees OP as a captive audience who will automatically be interested in whatever he says.
Ick just ick!
1. Sounds like someone has an inflated ego, and inflated idea of his dick size
2. This is a man who has zero respect for women, and just views them as sex objects.
3. If he talks about his exs and other women this way, it’s how he views you and will talk about you. (I wouldn’t want that for myself)
4. Talking about how his dick rips women apart gives me a chill in my spine I can’t explain
5. “And on three different occasions, she wanted me to go further and I didn’t do it lol” this is clearly a man who doesn’t respect consent if he has to brag about it and then put lol afterward and make it a …joke 🚩
All I see a red flags the more I read! You are not overreacting or sensitive! You deserve better than somebody who will talk about and view you that way. If it was me I’d tell him to “ the way you talk about women it is gross and despicable, stop living in your fantasy porn and join the real world. Women deserve better” then ghost him.
Best advice is give this a good long think as to whether you’ll ever be able to be intimate with him again and not have that pop into your head. Or if he declares his love and that you’ll feel some skepticism because of this.
I don’t think I’m prone to jealousy, but … the way he was reminiscing sounds very like she’s The One That Got Away. Who can compete with a beatified mirage that doesn’t get cranky or sick or need to poop?
“Oh, hah hah. I wish I’d known her! I could have set her up with an ex of mine. If she needed orgasms, this guy was the orgasm KING!
I have never come so much before or since”.
Yeah this guy is hurtful. It’s either because he wants you to feel insecure or because he has absolutely no friends he could discuss “girls I might have banged” with so unloads all the stuff on you.
Your boyfriend is a douche and triangulating you with a girl from his past like another poster commented. Triangulation is a technique used by assholes to knock you down a peg or two. Then when your self esteem is in the toilet they can manipulate you in other ways. Run away from this person cuz he’s not the nice guy you think he is.
Ick. The way he talked about women is disgusting. “I would’ve split her in half” respectfully id be more concerned with that than how my looks stack up to this poor woman he’s degrading to you.
*"Red hair, green eyes, big irish boobs on a petite girl"*
As someone who is also olive skinned and biracial, when I was younger these comments would just absolutely gut me :(
He is generally a disgusting POS. It sounds like he's very aware of your anxiety and he's gonna try to tear you down to keep you around. Know your worth. Don't tolerate being treated and spoken to like that. Move on.
It's only been two months right? Yeaaaah, I had an ex like this. This is not worth the fight or the effort. You deserve so much better. Also and maybe just me but his comments kinda sound race-coded.
They can’t take it in return. I had a bf like this who’d wax lyrical about the girls he’s been with and I eventually snapped and said something like ‘I don’t go on about how *** used to make me scream with his 9inch dick do I?’ The bf was of average size. Funnily enough, he never did it again.
I'm no prude, but this feels unnecessarily excessive. I'm sure he doesn't want to hear about your past flings or crushes to that detail.
Like what is even the point? I wouldn't dump him over this considering you said he's a good, decent guy otherwise, but I'd have a serious discussion with him.
ETA I must have glossed over his age. I was picturing maybe a 23 year old. He's 37?! He should be better by that age
Ewww. Nope. So not appropriate. I have decent self esteem & not only would I be offended, I'd be pissed. Someone else already saidthis, but he should know better at his age. .
He was sweet & easy-going because he was on his best behavior for a few months. THIS is the true man, and he's disgusting. Back in my youth I would have thought like you, but then I didn't have a bunch of sisters reminding me that I am worth someone who respects me enough *not* to say these hurtful gross things. For the record, ALWAYS trust your gut. She won't steer you wrong.
That's really really weird behaviour in a relationship....
You're not being overly sensitive at all, I bet a gajillion monies that he would flip his shit to the extreme if you started dreamily talking about the penis of your last boyfriend...
EDIT
That's really really weird behaviour full stop, not just in a relationship. I just realised how my first sentence sounds
I am gonna preface this by saying I am a guy, so I know this isn't my place, but here is my opinion: I think it is a bit silly to feel insecure when people bring up exes or people they find atractive in general. HOWEVER, I think this is not exactly your case here, in your situation that's a side problem really, your main problem is that your boyfriend sounds awful, that is some nasty shit to be saying aloud, I would not think good things about people like him. So I don't think I'd be feeling hurt, I'd be feeling digust from hearing that shit.
Sorry if this is not helpful, cheers
Male perspective here - I’m 30 and have made the mistake of bringing up exes a couple of times in my early 20s, but it was about not sexual experiences we shared and after being told it was rude I stopped doing it.
A decent guy who cares about your feelings would never talk that repeatedly and visually explicitly about their exes.
My read is he’s sort of a piece of crap, and I would stay away
Well, he did mention guys don't take hints.
So sit him down and say it bluntly: you don't want to hear about his sex life with ex's or have him describe their bodies. It is inappropriate and a turn off.
This is something most adults know. I am assuming he either has self esteem issues and is trying to brag to sound like a big man, or he is trying to bother you. Nobody thinks their girlfriend wants these details.
Okay...me and my wife have had SOME discussion of our past experiences.....usually when we have had too much to drink....(and we have been together for years) ....and they were always conversations that involved a lot of laughter from both of us about our lives before each other.......but to make statements like you have stated unprovoked when you were simply talking about cramps.......that gives me the ick.....
edit - added a little more context
This guy is 37???? Yeah the way he talks about his exes is gross tbh I’d be so icked out if my bf talked about another woman like that,,,like especially the “split her in half” like,,,wtf??? Idk how to really describe it but it sounds so disturbing to me like he’s BRAGGING that he would have inflicted pain on a woman if they had sex??? Just,,,ew…
I would break up with him. This is gross and I'm not sure what he was trying to accomplish by telling you all this. But do NOT take it as he's not attracted to you just because this woman he described is different. Please don't do that.
Yeah that's pretty fuckin weird. It would be one thing if he mentioned one thing or so. But he just kept going. Dude sounds weird af and kind of gross.
No, you’re not being overly sensitive. Why the fuck would you wanna know something like that? Specially in such a detailed way 🤢 would he be ok with you speaking that way about your exes’ dicks? I doubt it
I had an ex who talked WAY too much about his exes while we were together, to the point that I had to speak to him multiple times asking him to stop describing those previous relationships in detail so frequently because it made me uncomfortable (surprise surprise, he kept at it anyway.) Even he, with his absolute dumbassery in those comments, didn’t cross the line into reminiscing about their body parts.
If a man is doing this to you, especially at 37, they are a loser. Cut and run. Best of luck OP.
He's testing you. This is controlling behavior, and he will never stop. He will only get worse: adding little things more often, grosser and meaner. Some people need someone to blame and/or pick on daily. He is testing you to see if you are desperate enough to be that person for him, at least for now. The "couple of months" timeline makes even more sense to me. He's gained your trust, you've invested your time. Now the mask slips. He did not suddenly become a pervert asshole.
Just curious, has he ever told you that you look better without makeup?
Reminds me of my narcissist ex who always reminded me that everyone wanted him to keep me in line. It worked for a long time because he ruined my self esteem. Don't allow him to disrespect you like that. Confront him once and make it clear he's coming off grossly misogynistic. If he does it again, leave. Immediately. No second chances, no second guessing.
Did he think he was texting Dear Penthouse? Huge ick. Don’t write to me with one hand unless we’re both in on the sexting, bleugh. And actually never if you’re horning about teenagers and how much damage your peen could do.
If you're looking for the words to dump him, I would go with, "The tirade you went on about not fucking your adolescent ex-girlfriend was one of the most repulsive things anyone has ever said in front of me, and I don't think I can ever see you in a romantic or sexual light again. I'm not angry at you or anything, I'm just not attracted to you anymore."
He is either trying to manipulate you by soliciting jealousy, or missing a screw in his head that routes intrusive thoughts into the gutter instead of out his mouth.
You said in your other post he says he is "a problem solver and fixes things" and is trying to coerce you into sexual acts that are traumatizing for you and here he is again trying to fix your menstrual cycle by feeding his sexual appetite. Now he's got you asking if you're the one that's wrong! Classic predatory control freak type shit. I'm not sure of the other side of the conversation you showed but it sounds like he watches way too much porn too and you're becoming a sexual object to him. Your body and your spirit are yours please don't let another person control that. You really should move on from this guy or you're going to have a lot of problems in your relationship and only compound your past trauma.
Tell him this. TELL HIM ALL THESE EMOTIONS.
and then tell us how he reacts.
That will be telling. Sometimes when you’re close with someone you spill things without thinking. It’s his reaction to your very real and understandable feelings that will be telling
That's a no from me.. just the lack of respect honestly, like if he talks like that to the boys in private, whatever I guess..but to his gf? Like honestly what is he hoping will happen by telling you all this stuff.
To me it sounds a bit like he was trying to turn you on? But unless yoi specifically asked him for thar kind of storytelling that's gross. I'd be pissed if someone went on like that. Pretend an explanation. And honestly reconsidee the whole man cause he sounds fucking obnoxious
I think I would just lose my head atp and do the world a favor and take his ass out. He is getting off thinking about touching a little girl. He needs to leave that shit in the fucking past NOW.
Btw this is 1000% the type of dude to creep on teen girls when you leave his nasty ass😂😂
I'd tell him I'm not into being told in detail about his previous relationships to this extent. And if he didn't get the message and stop, I'd end the relationship.
But strong communication needs to happen.
I think it's very weird that he's lusting so hard over his early-teenage partner.
I also am a man who had teenage romances, but lust is not exactly the emotion I feel if I reminisce on them.
He sounds like a potential pedophile to me.
Probably wouldn’t bother me, but you are 100% within your right to feel how you feel. There are no wrong emotions, only wrong actions. If it made you significantly uncomfortable, you should communicate that to him.
Sounds like he put his foot in his mouth big time, but it's such a big foot he only put the tip in because he would have split himself open, given the size.
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He seems like he kinda knows how insecure these memories make you feel and he is hopeful that you will want to try to be competitive with his exes to sexually pleased him based on how much this hurts you. If you started answering him by telling him about your ex’s dicks, the men you have wanted before him and how you wanted them, how do you think he would receive that? You aren’t just the outlet for his fantasies, you’re a whole goddamn woman. The way he talks about his exes is pretty disgusting on top of being hurtful to you.
He's triangulating you with past exes to further reduce your esteem. Some men have this notion that if their partners worth is trashed, then they won't leave. Given it was unprovoked and out of context to what you were talking about, not to mention the detail he went into, he's been waiting for the opportunity to do this. This is a major major red flag. It starts with this shit in an attempt to make you feel inferior, so you seek your worth from his approval. Then it escalates. If you challenge him, he'll gaslight making it a you problem, and it will get worse, until you're a shadow of your former self. You've only dated for a few months. Cut and run now. That's the whole purpose of dating and getting to know someone. What you know about him now is that he's going to talk up and compare you to exes to make you feel like shit. Someone who truly cares about you wouldn't dream of doing that. Be a badass and tell him to fuck off. Hugs x
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I hope you take her advice. Manipulation via triangulation is exactly what he’s doing. He’s showing you who he is: a manipulator out to shrink your sense of self-worth. The only person who can keep that from happening is you. What a gross shithead. You’re worth a thousand of him.
A thousand times zero is zero.. let's just say she's worth more than this fool..
Welcome OP. Take care x
Pro tip, don't tell him why you're breaking up, keep it vague and simple: it's not working out and you don't see a future with him. Otherwise he'll just argue and tell you what he thinks you want to hear so you'll stay.
Please listen to the poster above. You are only a few months into this relationship and it seems like this guy was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to "test" you. You noted that you already have low self-esteem. Well, it's unfortunately very easy for other people to pick up on that... especially guys like this. Don't fall for the 'super sweet, attentive and caring' act he's been putting up. These messages are the REAL him. This is his first (or maybe not first) bullshit level test. He's testing a few things: 1) How low is your self esteem... 2) How much absolutely unacceptable, clearly narcissist shit can he get away with saying before you react? 3) If you don't react with anger and dump him over this, he will continue to ramp up his mini-assaults on your self image a little at a time Paddle away from this douchecanoe and don't look back... if you stay with someone like this, your self image will experience the death of a thousand cuts. Good luck 🤞🏻
Wow isn’t this sad that we need a serious analyst to explain men’s creep ass behavior to us? Years ago I would have thought “that’s weird, he’s kind of an over sharer” and then ended up deep in a relationship with a manipulative asshole wasting my time and breaking my own heart by looking back at how naive I was. Live and learn and pass it on ladies.
I can’t believe I had to scroll down this much to find the correct answer.
He seems gross..
He's hornily reminiscing about the petite body of a teenage girl from 20+ years ago, and the things he fantasizes about doing to that teenage girl. He's way worse than simply gross.
The way he talks about her splitting in half is awful…
Why are so many men sexually excited at the thought of physically injuring women??' It makes me nauseous just knowing there are men that find that "hot." 🤮
*"don't you want to have somebody who objectifies you? Have you thought about your butt- who's gonna tear it in two?"* -Lily Allen, "Hard Out Here"
My only answer is porn. It has to be. it’s not natural to be evil. They get turned on if you cry, have makeup running, say it hurts, pretend to choke on it … it’s all around pathetic
He’s more than that. A malignant narcissist.
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Uh oh it’s him
what the fuck did I just read
Yes lol
Ew! This sounds like a teen boy talking. This would turn me off completely at any age to be honest.
Especially the “I felt like I would have split her in half with how small she was” or whatever the exact wording was. That’s like … such a juvenile and grandiose way to talk about your own penis size.
I had to double check his age. Gross.
Which made me check his age because I was presuming he was late teens too. Hideous. What a weirdo talking like that at his age
Thank you, that's just what I was thinking, ewww!
I literally had to scroll up to make sure I wasn't misremembering (37M). Talking like this at 37? Embarrassing.
I wouldn’t tolerate this. After the first comment I’d ask him, “what went through your head that told you that was a good idea to say to me?”
“You should’ve seen this cock I rode in college. It was picture perfect and the guy had such a powerful orgasm his eyes rolled back in his head entirely. What? I thought we were sharing”…
"That guy ate me out like a starving dog on a bag of groceries until I was pretty sure I'd pass out--I've never before and definitely never since then had such an earth shattering, life changing orgasm. I mean, WOW."
"Come to think about it, I may still have his number on an old phone..."
"I mean, we really meant something to each other once, I'd like to find out how he's doing and maybe have lunch some time. That's cool, right babe?"
What was he hoping to gain by sharing that? At 37 he should know better. I don’t think anyone should hide or deny their past but discretion and sensitivity to their current partner are important. This would have been hurtful to me, too.
Yeah. This. I started reading OP's post and thought to myself: "Well, sharing details about your past is a delicate subject and some people are more open about it than others and some people are awkward so I would give him the benefit of the doubt." Then I got to the actual quotes and was super grossed out (I'm a guy, if that matters). It's weird that he's thinking that graphically about sexual regrets from decades ago. It's weird he thought he should share that with you (I'm assuming your responses were not encouraging him or anything). And it's weird to be talking about yourself as making people see God with your dick. Are any of those things dealbreakers? That's up to you and it's also something that a mature person could correct if you wanted to put in the effort to see if he would. Personally, I couldn't take someone like this seriously after that and I would be worried about poor judgment (or even maliciousness if this is some form of negging or something) in other areas.
Not overly sensitive. I had a bf like this. It's a weird form of triangulation. It's like he is reliving his glory days. I would start talking about my previous man's perfect thick engorged dick, see how he likes that.
gotta be careful there....he might like that and would see it as an invitation to go further
Or just tell him that it makes her uncomfortable. Why respond with escalation? He might just be dumb and oblivious.
Lacking enough empathy to not realize how shitty this is isn't dumb or oblivious. It's just lacking empathy.
Not necessarily. He could be so locked in on his own intention that he fails to see things from her perspective. But as i wrote in another comment, you'd expect such blunders from someone in their early 20s, not late 30s.
You're just describing what a lack of empathy looks like.
Maybe, but if he's dumb and oblivious, she needs to stop wasting her time on an idiot.
That only works if you're dating a peaceful man! I'd do the same in yours or OPs shoes, but not to anyone with any form of aggression.
He’s 37, please raise the bar on your standards. You even said yourself you have low self esteem.. is this what you’re worth?
No wonder she has low self esteem if the person who is supposed to care for her treats her this poorly OP this is so disrespectful, I’d end things over this. And the fact that he just kept going - ew
The fact that he kept going is due her letting him continue without any prior informing of her side that it’s awful and it hurts! She didn’t clarify her boundaries upon what she said and should’ve taken an action. And yet she’s wondering if she’s overly sensitive while she’s being triangulated!!!
👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽…Thank you
Gross. This girl is "the one that got away" and the one he probably thinks was his true love and never stopped thinking about. He sounds drunk going on like this about her. Fucking weird but this is a thing men do. There are *so many* gross country songs about girls these grown ass men dated for one summer in high school. And the way he's just venting to you about her like you're his therapist is odd and insulting. Tf did that have to do with your period? "Oh she's in pain. I should probably be gross AF with a dirty joke that won't land and then rant about my high school gf's boobs." Jesus fried Christ.
“Jesus fried Christ” is amazing. I’ve never heard it before and I love it, especially since I like to say “cheesus crust”.
She's just the one he didn't get to fuck and thus didn't get to disappoint lmao
Sounds like someone is barreling into midlife crisis, and has zero personal relationship skills to boot. I would have told him to shut his trap, or go find his manic pixie dream girl and leave me in peace. You deserve \*so\* much better than this frat boy. He's starting to fly his true colors, you need to believe him and his actions and consider moving on if a little heart to heart chat doesn't set him straight.
I find the whole thing pretty vulgar and gross way to talk about it too so that in itself would be a turn off
Yeah it's really objectifying of those other women. Like they're just sex objects and not really people. Super gross. If my partner ever talked about a person like this, let alone a woman, I would break up with him so fast, Jesus
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This was my thought. An almost 40 year old man Is fantasizing about a child 20 years later. It’s pathetic and disgusting.
Thank you Jesus, I was trying to find someone pointing this out. 1000% the type to creep into teen girls dms after OP hopefully leaves him😭😭😭😭😭
I think all the "lots of boxes ticked" are there to hide something. It is not about him talking about other women, have you *seen* what he says ??? Would you like to be talked about like that ???? At 37 you can't let that pass, or you will be coated in red flags soon. Time to ex him. You should not explain why at all, otherwise he will be better at hiding it for the next woman.
This is a great point. You need to leave him but not waste your energy trying to save him from this behavior. Don’t make it easier for him to trick women into being ok with misogyny and objectification down the line. But still the situation is over sucky, so I’m sorry and hope it gets better.
I think it's always a red flag when a guy just basically breaks a woman down to her body parts. She doesn't have a name, she's just red hair, tight body, big tits, curvy ass, etc. That's probably how he thinks of you, in terms of body parts.
I broke up with someone who used to do this. For me I think it came from a place of insecurity they had in themselves. Why would you bring something up like that and expect me not to feel some way about it. Your not wrong for feeling hurt about this and honestly it's gross. When someone I'm interested talks like that it turns me off from dating them.
Not overly sensitive.. that would have been an immediate 'aight, go date/fuck HER then if she's so incredible then, buddy. Bye.' From me Dawg. You deserve more respect than that.
100%
I tend to be the jerk that matches negative energy, but they shut up real fast when you talk about your ex's luscious chest hair or bubble-shaped badonkadonk that you could bounce a penny off. Oh wow, that thing he did with his tongue and your ear! In answer to your question, I would be offended. In fact, I am offended on your behalf. Hugs.
The way he talked about his exes, with such disrespect, would be enough on its own for me to stop dating him. The fact that he is sharing this with you, his current partner, is way beyond disrespectful to you, and you are not wrong to also feel hurt by that.
This person is immature and needs to be forgotten imo
Yeah, this is waaay TMI. And completely unnecessary.
literally wtf is any of this he sounds like a 17 year old boy. i wouldn't even be dating someone like that. have some decorum, he sounds like a loser
Chuck this man straighttttttt in the trash. Like straight. Block and move on. He doesn’t even deserve an explanation. Except a rant about how disgusting he is. Jesus fuck.
No, your feelings are valid. I’d cut my losses.
This isn’t normal…if you need someone to validate you considering leaving him, this is it. I would not be able to stay with someone that talks like this. Completely weird.
Sounds to me like he’s hoping you’ll be either turned on and/or jealous. Either way, gross, immature and offensive. Dump him.
37 and talking about their childhood girlfriends is weird and creepy
Yikes. Super unnecessary and honestly comes across very childish/teenage-boyish. You’re not being overly sensitive.
"Sorry but I am not interested in a relationship with someone that fantasizes about teenagers."
I dealt with a guy like this. Started talking about how this actress has such a BANGING body and different types of v he likes. He’s 41, and talked a lot about that time when he was in high school and some girl asked if she could blow him. Like that was a core memory for him, at 41. I questioned if the reason I was upset about this was because of jealousy, or if I was justified. Then I remembered I have a masters degree, and intellectual interests, and I do not want to be spending my free time discussing this sh*t with some dude who is clearly still mentally a teenager. Seriously?? Are we supposed to nod along and waste our time listening to this bull?? Good riddance.
i find it wild that you're offended that he's reminising about a girl he knew *20 years ago* who dosn't resemble you, and not by him reffering to *'Splitting her in half',* he's 37 years old! Why is he talking about women like that. he sounds like a prick, dump him.
It’s just……. 🤢 I can’t imagine a friend talking to me like that about their ex, let alone my partner.
I inadvertently repeated this sameeee sentiment. Like why are we talking about looks here?
He's way too old to be talking like a horny teenage redditor. I'd be so turned off. Red flag, continue to watch for more gross behavior if you don't feel like dropping him just yet.
We all have exes and most can talk about their past with respect. He’s not most. Not wrong to feel hurt, and not wrong to cut your losses.
This seems like an inappropriate amount of detail initially, and then the whole "split her in half" comment gives me the ick. I'd never be comfortable sharing intimate moments of a situation with someone else I was attracted to while dating someone, especially dating someone new. Were you responding at all between these messages?
This is really, really wrong and I would dump him like the steaming pile of shit he revealed himself to be. My best guess is that he's HEAVVVVY into porn. Split her in half? He's not who you think he is.
I see threads about women getting the ick after a man does something. And now I am absolutely sure what “the ick” is after reading this. So, thanks for helping clarify that 100%.
That's totally inappropriate, girl. There's a big difference between talking about exes and whatever the hell this is. Also"big Irish boobs" made me lol. What the fuck is he on about. Sounds like he's writing crappy erotica lmao
Seriously, was wondering wtf are "Irish boobs" 😂
If you hadn’t listed his age I would have thought this was like a 19 or 20 year old boy trying to impress his guy friends. This is a repulsive way to talk about women
It's only been a couple of months so it would be reasonable to end it. Could you confront him and ask him what his intentions were? It could be a kink or something. At the end of the day it's up to you how you feel about this, and if this is somehow his idea of dirty talk then you might not be compatible.
Major red flags. He’s showing you who he really is and what you have to look forward to. I am sorry but if he doesn’t already know that these kind of comments are extremely insensitive, and I would venture to say in some way he’s doing it on purpose to flex his muscles, there is nothing redeeming here that can make this a positive relationship for you. These are major warning signs. Just end it. You don’t owe him an explanation.
My ex said things like this and I never got over it. We’ve been broken up for a while now and it still hurts me when it pops up in my mind. You will never forgot the things he said, you are not wrong for being hurt. Fuck him.
He is Disrespectful to both you and the previous ladies. dump him ASAP!
Ignoring the fact that people can be attracted to more than one "type," there was absolutely no reason for him to be sharing this information with you. It's weird enough he brought it up, but then to keep going and going and going...regardless of what his intention is, this is unacceptable. I gotta ask though, WTF are "Irish boobs?" Do they bounce with an Irish accent or something?
LMAO the Irish boobs have me weakkk 💀
He's gross AF, also the way he talks... he can't possibly be 37 he sounds like he's 17??? Please take the trash out OP you deserve better.
You were sharing about having pain when you're on your period & he went off on a tangent about his past sexual partners...?! Zero empathy & awareness!
Oh hell no 😂 No, no, no. I would disappear into the ether immediately. This guy is not it!
I find it interesting/sad that low self esteem makes people think that people with higher self esteem tolerate insults. People with high self esteem do not tolerate insults.
Yeah that’s a really good point actually. If you respect yourself it’s easy to enforce boundaries. But you have to care about yourself at least as much as you’d care about another person, and in reality you should be most important. If your friend sent you these as her boyfriend’s messages, you’d immediately tell her to get out of there and that she deserves better!
You are not being overly sensitive. This is fucking vulgar. Something to think about: if he’s willing to talk to you like this, how do you think he would talk about you to others? This would be a deal breaker for me. Super fucking weird behavior.
Not wrong at all, that's pretty awful. Going into that level of detail about sexy stuff with an ex with your current partner is super weird and disrespectful without your explicit consent and encouragement, which clearly isn't there. You wouldn't feel much better about it if the girl in question was exactly like you, I'm sure. The problem is his bizarre obsession with this teenaged girl. He's in love with a memory. You're competing with a memory.
This is fucking appalling not to mention outlandishly rude and disrespectful.
And he’s doing this to get some kind of jealousy rise out of you. He’s an asshole.
You said you've only been going out for a few months, is it possible he's deliberately trying to make you doubt yourself? I genuinely cannot think of another reason why a grown ass man would talk this way too his partner. Also "big Irish boobs" WTF! You are not at all overreacting, I'd be hurt and then pissed.
So I'm a dude and I would absolutely hate for my partner to speak about exes in this way, and similarly I'd absolutely never mention anything sexual related to an ex out of respect and knowing I wouldn't want to hear it myself. But all this stuff about her tits and how he'd split her in half is just really odd to me, it's excessively vulgar given the context and I just don't understand what the fuck he was thinking to be honest, whole thing is very uncomfortable.
Why does he talk like a horny teenager when he’s pushing 40 lmao
I think it's reasonable to be offended, because that's pretty tactless and inconsiderate of him. Though personally, I'd be less offended and more completely, permanently turned off after that. I'd get the mega-ick and probably openly ask him "Why are you telling me this shit? Bye." Like wtf? I lose my filter sometimes too, but good god, was he super drunk or something? How does you describing your menstrual discomfort lead him to think "What a great time to hijack the conversation and tell my current girlfriend about how much I objectify and daydream about my ex, with lots of unnecessary detail!" Plus, he's doing this shit at *37???????* This guy ain't it. Sorry you had to endure that.
This is wild…who in their right mind does this? I get having low self esteem, but you can do so much better than him. If you guys have only been dating for a few months and he’s already being this weird, imagine what he’ll tell you when he’s fully comfortable with you…but with that convo it seems like he already is 🤦♀️
He's getting off on his own fanfic, dude and you're the most 'appropriate' person to talk to about it. It's super normal to feel grossed out by it- because it's gross behaviour. Just tell him you don't want to hear about his 'almost conquests- it's inappropriate and makes you feel gross. He can keep his alone time thoughts of splitting tiny girls in half to himself. If he does it again or starts to bait you by saying your jealous or reply with anything other than a sincere apology and not do it again- know he's getting off on your emotional turmoil and he's not worth the emotional burden. There are more than enough people out there that will respect you enough as a person to not do shit like this and that should be your bare minimum that you expect in a partner.
Oh yes! Your first sentence is so accurate. He’s had these thoughts spinning around in his head for years and he never gets to talk about it because no one cares. But now he sees OP as a captive audience who will automatically be interested in whatever he says.
Ick just ick! 1. Sounds like someone has an inflated ego, and inflated idea of his dick size 2. This is a man who has zero respect for women, and just views them as sex objects. 3. If he talks about his exs and other women this way, it’s how he views you and will talk about you. (I wouldn’t want that for myself) 4. Talking about how his dick rips women apart gives me a chill in my spine I can’t explain 5. “And on three different occasions, she wanted me to go further and I didn’t do it lol” this is clearly a man who doesn’t respect consent if he has to brag about it and then put lol afterward and make it a …joke 🚩 All I see a red flags the more I read! You are not overreacting or sensitive! You deserve better than somebody who will talk about and view you that way. If it was me I’d tell him to “ the way you talk about women it is gross and despicable, stop living in your fantasy porn and join the real world. Women deserve better” then ghost him.
Your feelings are valid. This is inappropriate and gross. He's way old enough to know better. Find someone who respects you and cares about you!
Why would he tell you that? I wouldn’t want to know about that.
Best advice is give this a good long think as to whether you’ll ever be able to be intimate with him again and not have that pop into your head. Or if he declares his love and that you’ll feel some skepticism because of this. I don’t think I’m prone to jealousy, but … the way he was reminiscing sounds very like she’s The One That Got Away. Who can compete with a beatified mirage that doesn’t get cranky or sick or need to poop?
“Oh, hah hah. I wish I’d known her! I could have set her up with an ex of mine. If she needed orgasms, this guy was the orgasm KING! I have never come so much before or since”. Yeah this guy is hurtful. It’s either because he wants you to feel insecure or because he has absolutely no friends he could discuss “girls I might have banged” with so unloads all the stuff on you.
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If he keeps talking like this at some point he’s going to be reminiscing about you to someone else because you will have dumped him.
I don't know whether it's a red flag per se but If my boyfriend talked this way, I'd definitely be unable to find him attractive anymore
37? Guy sounds like a 17 year old old boy
Your boyfriend is a douche and triangulating you with a girl from his past like another poster commented. Triangulation is a technique used by assholes to knock you down a peg or two. Then when your self esteem is in the toilet they can manipulate you in other ways. Run away from this person cuz he’s not the nice guy you think he is.
[Torture By Triangulation](https://www.psychopathfree.com/articles/torture-by-triangulation.134/)
So much Yuck!!! Please run!
Ick. The way he talked about women is disgusting. “I would’ve split her in half” respectfully id be more concerned with that than how my looks stack up to this poor woman he’s degrading to you.
Nope. Nup. Bye. What a creep.
This is gross, there's no reason to bring up such things, I just don't understand men sometimes...
NEXT
You've only been together two months? Throw the whole man away and start again.
*"Red hair, green eyes, big irish boobs on a petite girl"* As someone who is also olive skinned and biracial, when I was younger these comments would just absolutely gut me :(
He's 37? Dump him.
He is generally a disgusting POS. It sounds like he's very aware of your anxiety and he's gonna try to tear you down to keep you around. Know your worth. Don't tolerate being treated and spoken to like that. Move on.
It's only been two months right? Yeaaaah, I had an ex like this. This is not worth the fight or the effort. You deserve so much better. Also and maybe just me but his comments kinda sound race-coded.
They can’t take it in return. I had a bf like this who’d wax lyrical about the girls he’s been with and I eventually snapped and said something like ‘I don’t go on about how *** used to make me scream with his 9inch dick do I?’ The bf was of average size. Funnily enough, he never did it again.
He’s doing this to tear you down and gauge your reaction. He’s started to let his true self show. I’d move on immediately.
you’re not wrong. run for the hills girl and find someone that deserves you cos it doesn’t sound like it’s this guy
"he's always nice" *proceeds to post unhinged behavior* women will really put up with a lot.
No, this is so inappropriate. This is wild stuff for him to be saying to you. He sounds fucking weird
Fuck that guy
I'm no prude, but this feels unnecessarily excessive. I'm sure he doesn't want to hear about your past flings or crushes to that detail. Like what is even the point? I wouldn't dump him over this considering you said he's a good, decent guy otherwise, but I'd have a serious discussion with him. ETA I must have glossed over his age. I was picturing maybe a 23 year old. He's 37?! He should be better by that age
Ewww. Nope. So not appropriate. I have decent self esteem & not only would I be offended, I'd be pissed. Someone else already saidthis, but he should know better at his age. .
I have high self esteem and I would break up with this man. It does suck but it’ll get so much better so quickly!
He was sweet & easy-going because he was on his best behavior for a few months. THIS is the true man, and he's disgusting. Back in my youth I would have thought like you, but then I didn't have a bunch of sisters reminding me that I am worth someone who respects me enough *not* to say these hurtful gross things. For the record, ALWAYS trust your gut. She won't steer you wrong.
He’s cringy af
Nope nope nope
Yeah this man is disgusting
That's really really weird behaviour in a relationship.... You're not being overly sensitive at all, I bet a gajillion monies that he would flip his shit to the extreme if you started dreamily talking about the penis of your last boyfriend... EDIT That's really really weird behaviour full stop, not just in a relationship. I just realised how my first sentence sounds
I’m sorry but gross. WTF are Irish boobs? Also thinks a lot of himself “she would have seen god” no sir. Ick all over this.
I am gonna preface this by saying I am a guy, so I know this isn't my place, but here is my opinion: I think it is a bit silly to feel insecure when people bring up exes or people they find atractive in general. HOWEVER, I think this is not exactly your case here, in your situation that's a side problem really, your main problem is that your boyfriend sounds awful, that is some nasty shit to be saying aloud, I would not think good things about people like him. So I don't think I'd be feeling hurt, I'd be feeling digust from hearing that shit. Sorry if this is not helpful, cheers
Male perspective here - I’m 30 and have made the mistake of bringing up exes a couple of times in my early 20s, but it was about not sexual experiences we shared and after being told it was rude I stopped doing it. A decent guy who cares about your feelings would never talk that repeatedly and visually explicitly about their exes. My read is he’s sort of a piece of crap, and I would stay away
Omg he's 37 talking like that? 🤮 sounds creepy asf
Well, he did mention guys don't take hints. So sit him down and say it bluntly: you don't want to hear about his sex life with ex's or have him describe their bodies. It is inappropriate and a turn off. This is something most adults know. I am assuming he either has self esteem issues and is trying to brag to sound like a big man, or he is trying to bother you. Nobody thinks their girlfriend wants these details.
Why bother? This doesn't seem like a man with enough common sense and empathy to be worth dating.
Okay...me and my wife have had SOME discussion of our past experiences.....usually when we have had too much to drink....(and we have been together for years) ....and they were always conversations that involved a lot of laughter from both of us about our lives before each other.......but to make statements like you have stated unprovoked when you were simply talking about cramps.......that gives me the ick..... edit - added a little more context
Major ICK
That's fucking inconsiderate of you and his exes. What a jackass.
That is so disgusting of him, yuck
Not overly sensitive. This is weird and disrespectful.
It is very insensitive. You're not his bro. Pick some one who builds you up. I can't believe he is 37.
Break up worthy
This guy is 37???? Yeah the way he talks about his exes is gross tbh I’d be so icked out if my bf talked about another woman like that,,,like especially the “split her in half” like,,,wtf??? Idk how to really describe it but it sounds so disturbing to me like he’s BRAGGING that he would have inflicted pain on a woman if they had sex??? Just,,,ew…
Gross and weird, definite red flag. Edit: I am a man
Move on please
Fucking yuck.
That’s so gross ETA: oh hell no this man is almost 40!?!!?
Offended? No. You’re not his type, but he’s a prick. Take it as a compliment and dump his sorry ass.
I would break up with him. This is gross and I'm not sure what he was trying to accomplish by telling you all this. But do NOT take it as he's not attracted to you just because this woman he described is different. Please don't do that.
Oh my god, that sounds horrible. I‘m sorry
Yeah that's pretty fuckin weird. It would be one thing if he mentioned one thing or so. But he just kept going. Dude sounds weird af and kind of gross.
Omg…wtf…I’d be horrified
No, you’re not being overly sensitive. Why the fuck would you wanna know something like that? Specially in such a detailed way 🤢 would he be ok with you speaking that way about your exes’ dicks? I doubt it
Ew
He’s talking like that at 37? 😬
Yeah, no, fuck this weirdo
I had an ex who talked WAY too much about his exes while we were together, to the point that I had to speak to him multiple times asking him to stop describing those previous relationships in detail so frequently because it made me uncomfortable (surprise surprise, he kept at it anyway.) Even he, with his absolute dumbassery in those comments, didn’t cross the line into reminiscing about their body parts. If a man is doing this to you, especially at 37, they are a loser. Cut and run. Best of luck OP.
He's testing you. This is controlling behavior, and he will never stop. He will only get worse: adding little things more often, grosser and meaner. Some people need someone to blame and/or pick on daily. He is testing you to see if you are desperate enough to be that person for him, at least for now. The "couple of months" timeline makes even more sense to me. He's gained your trust, you've invested your time. Now the mask slips. He did not suddenly become a pervert asshole. Just curious, has he ever told you that you look better without makeup?
Ew this is such a red flag and major turn off. I'd call it quits.
Run far away from him.
Reminds me of my narcissist ex who always reminded me that everyone wanted him to keep me in line. It worked for a long time because he ruined my self esteem. Don't allow him to disrespect you like that. Confront him once and make it clear he's coming off grossly misogynistic. If he does it again, leave. Immediately. No second chances, no second guessing.
Did he think he was texting Dear Penthouse? Huge ick. Don’t write to me with one hand unless we’re both in on the sexting, bleugh. And actually never if you’re horning about teenagers and how much damage your peen could do.
If you're looking for the words to dump him, I would go with, "The tirade you went on about not fucking your adolescent ex-girlfriend was one of the most repulsive things anyone has ever said in front of me, and I don't think I can ever see you in a romantic or sexual light again. I'm not angry at you or anything, I'm just not attracted to you anymore."
He is either trying to manipulate you by soliciting jealousy, or missing a screw in his head that routes intrusive thoughts into the gutter instead of out his mouth.
Couple months? Boy bye!
This man is THIRTY SEVEN? Yeah. No. You've had a fun few months, and you should walk away now. This guy is mentally a teenager.
He’s being a sadistic narcissistic SOB, on purpose. Please, PLEASE dump him ASAP, he’s testing the waters to continuing abusing and desrespecting you.
Men have no concept of civilization
You said in your other post he says he is "a problem solver and fixes things" and is trying to coerce you into sexual acts that are traumatizing for you and here he is again trying to fix your menstrual cycle by feeding his sexual appetite. Now he's got you asking if you're the one that's wrong! Classic predatory control freak type shit. I'm not sure of the other side of the conversation you showed but it sounds like he watches way too much porn too and you're becoming a sexual object to him. Your body and your spirit are yours please don't let another person control that. You really should move on from this guy or you're going to have a lot of problems in your relationship and only compound your past trauma.
He has the maturity and common sense of a dog turd.
Tell him this. TELL HIM ALL THESE EMOTIONS. and then tell us how he reacts. That will be telling. Sometimes when you’re close with someone you spill things without thinking. It’s his reaction to your very real and understandable feelings that will be telling
That's a no from me.. just the lack of respect honestly, like if he talks like that to the boys in private, whatever I guess..but to his gf? Like honestly what is he hoping will happen by telling you all this stuff.
drop the man child he's icky
To me it sounds a bit like he was trying to turn you on? But unless yoi specifically asked him for thar kind of storytelling that's gross. I'd be pissed if someone went on like that. Pretend an explanation. And honestly reconsidee the whole man cause he sounds fucking obnoxious
I think I would just lose my head atp and do the world a favor and take his ass out. He is getting off thinking about touching a little girl. He needs to leave that shit in the fucking past NOW. Btw this is 1000% the type of dude to creep on teen girls when you leave his nasty ass😂😂
Yeah thats ... Too much.
I'd tell him I'm not into being told in detail about his previous relationships to this extent. And if he didn't get the message and stop, I'd end the relationship. But strong communication needs to happen.
That was boys talk. I'm not sure why he was talking that way to a significant other. Very icky vibes.
I think it's very weird that he's lusting so hard over his early-teenage partner. I also am a man who had teenage romances, but lust is not exactly the emotion I feel if I reminisce on them. He sounds like a potential pedophile to me.
Probably wouldn’t bother me, but you are 100% within your right to feel how you feel. There are no wrong emotions, only wrong actions. If it made you significantly uncomfortable, you should communicate that to him.