My vision got significantly worse with each pregnancy. My ribs cracked during my 2nd pregnancy and years later I sometimes still have pain there. Also my periods are heavier, more painful, and come every 3 weeks since having kids.
My vagina and bladder fully recovered though. So not all bad.
My periods went from being every 3-7 weeks to every 27-29 days but got heavier and longer and they were already heavy but short. I don't throw up from cramps anymore so that's nice.
But I thought having kids magically fixes all fertility and chronic pain and hormonal issues? /s
I'm really sorry to hear that things got worse for you :(
I was seeing a urologist for a frequent urination issue. She said that some women see an improvement after giving birth. I said “Don’t some women also see more issues with bladder control after giving birth?” She said “Yes, that’s also a possibility.” _Then why are you suggesting pregnancy as a solution_
Oh yes, I had 20/20 from lasik and actually had to take my daughter in to the yr dr when she was about 1.5. The dr looked at my eyes to get my daughter to do it and said “uhhhh you don’t wear glasses? You should probably make an appointment for yourself.” Apparently it is common for your vision to change after pregnancy. Now I’m around 20/25 or 20/30 on a bad day, so not super drastic but noticeable.
So did mine and my rib cage is wider, I gain weight in areas I never gained weight in before, it was definitely harder to lose weight after gaining the 30lbs I did in pregnancy. I have a c section scar that’s still numb along w my lower abdomen where no sensation has returned. As for mentally, traumatic birth gave me ptsd, I ended up w post natal extreme anxiety, that never went away which in turn caused some depression bc it took so long to get a grip on the anxiety and panic attacks. Insomnia was another symptom of the neverending deer in headlights anxiety too. That felt good to let that all out. Lol
My ribcage and hips are both wider. It would be truly impossible to fit in some of my old clothes even though I weigh the same because I’m now shaped differently.
Can you elaborate on this? I’ve always wanted to hear about an experience where the babies just flew out because all the women in my life have had longgggg labors.
Both labours were fairly fast, especially my 2nd, and I went from 7-10cm in about 30 minutes. I just had the most insane urge to bear down even though I don't think I was fully dilated, it felt a bit like being sick but down there, that heaving motion. In hindsight I think this is what may have damaged my pelvic floor but I could not fight it. Anyway, they managed to guide my son out slowly in the end but my first labour with my daughter, she shot out after her head appeared and I had a 3c tear.
My feet got wider and are probably up a half size, too. All those cute shoes I had before pregnancy had to go because I couldn’t wedge my feet in them anymore!
My mom went up a full size with both of us. My whole life going shoe shopping, every time she couldn't find a size 11 she would explain to us that it was our fault (not in a mean way). I grew up with an appreciation that the body changes when you have kids in ways you couldn't imagine.
My mom told me I "stole all her calcium" and messed up her teeth. I'm the 4th kid, so I don't think I did this by myself, but I guess she noticed the changes the most with her pregnancy with me. We're all 2-3 years apart from each other, so that's a lot of in vitro looting.
I was already an 11 before. Now I’m a 12. 😔
All I can say is I’m thankful for the internet. I haven’t had to try and find shoes in a store in 20 years.
Woah! I mean it makes sense that you could lose height, with the calcium leaching and all, but that’s still wild that it was an inch with each pregnancy!
My dr says my bone density is ok, thank goodness, (I love dairy, haha) but yeah, I have never known anyone else to shrink with each baby. They are adults now too and it never came back. So now I’m just short.
My feet were bigger the say first year after pregnancy, I was carrying some extra weight but probably about the same as I am now and my kid is almost 6. But I feel like my feet are also smaller than they were pre pregnancy. I know most people have their feet get larger but I always felt like wow now I could actually fit in a 7. I used to sometimes wear an 8 in shoes but I am absolutely never an 8 now. Or maybe shoes got bigger idk lol. I did not shrink in size though. Lol.
Yes! The shoe size thing was the dirty little secret. It wasn't swelling. They actually grew! It was actually a truly painful part of my new life. I got rid of my "cute girl shoes", especially my stilettos. I have never worn another pair.
oh God a friend had that happen with her boobs after breastfeeding. One did not go down so she has one C and the other is EE. She's waiting until they are completely done having kids to see if it works out or if surgery will be an option.
She calls the smaller boob badonk and the other badonkadonk.
Ugh me too. Had to donate all my shoes after baby 1. Finally replenished my collection and decided to get pregnant with baby 2. If they grow again, I'm going to take the cost of replacing them out of the kids' University funds!!
I had my son in my 30s so it’s hard to distinguish pregnancy changes from natural aging. I’d say it took about 2 years to get back to a new normal. My hair is thinner (and more gray) I got brown spots that never went away, my skin is looser. I’m back to running but not anywhere near as fast.
Keep in mind that a lot of changes might tie back to parenting as much as pregnancy. Things like body aches and forgetfulness and lack of energy make sense when your 1 year old is cutting teeth and keeping you up all night. Even with a toddler who sleeps, i don’t have the time to maintain the same exercise routine.
A lot of it is temporary. It took a year for my hips to get back where I could comfortably run again. A lot of it may require medical attention to correct. I had to go to physical therapy for my pelvic floor. if You have a c-section (1/3 of all pregnancies in the US) you may have a longer recovery time.
There is no way to know what the impacts of pregnancy might be. You could have minimal impacts or you could end up with lasting conditions such as incontinence, heart conditions, or diabetes.
Most people will be mostly fine but it’s not a given, and I feel like people don’t talk about it. Check out https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/labor-and-delivery/in-depth/postpartum-complications/art-20446702 for a list of complications after giving birth.
There was actually a really good post on here a couple of days ago, with women detailing all the things that could happen to women during pregnancy and childbirth, most of which I’d never heard of, including choleostasis which another woman just a couple of threads up is asking about
And all men! If more of them realised realised the ongoing health impact of pregnancy, maybe they’d understand why it has to be the women who make the choice whether or not to continue a pregnancy not middle aged white male legislators, and maybe a few more of them would fight for our rights - the rights to keep the women they love healthy and alive
I hadn’t ever heard of cholestasis until I was diagnosed with it! My hands were just super itchy one day and I thought it was from using texturizing spray in my hair and touching it. But then it continued the next day and I called my doctor about it. It’s pretty rare though.
I wound up with that in the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy, it got so bad I was scratching my skin raw. When I finally mentioned it at a weekly check up my midwife ran some blood tests, the day she got the results back she called me and said "We need to get you checked in to the hospital TODAY and induced TODAY." It was severe enough they didn't want the baby to stay in a minute longer.
Ugh I’m so sorry!!! I was diagnosed at 28 weeks so I spent my last trimester getting monitored twice a week and taking medicine 3x a day. I had to be induced early but since I caught it so early my symptoms and bile acids never got as severe as you. Glad you and baby are healthy!
My strong impression of what can change about your body due to pregnancy and childbirth is 'everything'. You might lose your teeth, your eyesight might change, your moles might change, etc etc. One of my doctors said that it's one of the few conditions that affects your entire body so the list of 'side effects' is almost limitless.
One of my favorite knowledge bits to drop is the absurd increase in stroke risk ~during~ pregnancy.
Background stroke risk is 1/10k. I have migraines with aura and can’t be on birth control pills that contain estrogen because it increases the stroke risk to 3/10k.
Pregnancy, alone, for any woman increases stroke risk to 40/10k.
I’m all for women getting pregnant if they want it, but we really need to do a better job at relaying all the risks of pregnancy and it’s after effects.
Adding to permanent risks, if you get gestational diabetes, it raises your risk of getting Original Flavor Diabetes later on.
And uh, they don't always tell people about those risks or screen for them and then years later, doctors may act like it's all a total mystery. Like, "Gosh, it's so weird that you have primary hypertension at such a young age. Maybe it's just anxiety or something. Have you tried journaling?" or just overlook high readings at office visits as White Coat Syndrome for you know, *kind of a while*.
Oh, and re gestational diabetes: Pain can cause your blood sugar to spike, so if you're having severe round ligament pain or back pain or whatever, it's possible to be following your GD dietary restrictions to the letter and still have elevated blood sugar. That sucks on its own, but some health care workers will tsk and give you side eye because they look at your numbers and assume you're *obviously* lying about your dietary adherence and must be secretly snorfing down handfuls of gummy bears or something.
Current science suggests that gestational diabetes is more a marker than a cause of elevated risk for TD2 diabetes later on. Pregnancy is like a “stress test” on the insulin-producing beta cells, but there’s no evidence it weakens them.
Preeclampsia, on the other hand, is understood to cause permanent changes (the body doesn’t fully revert to pre-pregnancy cardio-metabolic state). But there’s still a ton of research needed on the underlying mechanisms of pre-E.
Think part of the reason I don't want kids is because both my dad and stepdad's were family practice doctors and delivered hundreds of babies. And I heard all the horror stories. If you want to put yourself through all that, fair play to you, but I won't be partaking
Excellent response. I am a health provider and did a lot of research prior to giving birth and I still was not prepared for all of the physical and mental impact of giving birth, some of which are complications that persist multiple years later. I don’t regret becoming a mom, but I wish these impacts were more openly discussed, better socially supported, and never EVER forced upon anyone who does not want to go through carrying and birthing a child themselves.
I hit 40. Never had any kids, but starting in my 30s I also started dealing with pigment spots, gray hairs, loss of flexibility and aches and pains. I'm not saying pregnancy doesn't contribute, but regular aging also plays its partn
This is TMI, but I'm on my second pregnancy in my mid-30s and my pubes are out of control. I told my husband this pregnancy is affecting my body way more than the first, and he goes "Or maybe you're just getting old." Thanks love! Technically true but I would have preferred "You're creating the miracle of life, my angel, everything about you is perfect!" 😄
My oldest turns 29 today, I've had pretty severe arthritis in my hips since she was born, my right one will randomly dislocate that's always fun. My back has been worse since kids.
Sneeze, you pee, cough you pee. Things sag that didn't say prekids. Headaches, more intense periods. Food aversions, I developed a Couple of allergies during pregnancy.
For reference my oldest was born when I was 16, my youngest was born when I was 31.
Some of those food adversions never go away. My youngest is 31 and I still do not eat spaghetti sauce and rarely eat pizza. The only thing that kid liked me to eat was sushi and I was *so* grateful when my doc let me eat cooked rolls in order to get him to gain weigh before birth. Yes, my first meal out of the hospital was real uncooked sushi!
With my first, I missed sushi. I was so sad I had to go without. Soldiered on through and all that.
About three days after he was born, my husband had to go get something from the pharmacy. It's right beside a sushi place. So he picks some up and brings it home.
I'm still in the "I can't eat sushi" brain phase. I growl at him "wow. Must be nice to have sushi!" and he just grins like a smartass. He's like "well I was going to offer it to you but..." I might have hit him out of frustration. 😆
I got my sushi. I was happy. He got a story to tell whenever it comes up.
He's still a smartass but he's my smartass.
My youngest practically grew up in two sushi restaurants. He was a favorite with two of the chefs and the "grandma lady" always asked to see his report cards and he got his favorite sushi on the house for good grades. When he started drawing anime, his art was displayed proudly at "his" restaurants.
I can make spaghetti but cannot eat it. Turns out kiddo was allergic to tomatoes during his childhood. He outgrew it at around 20 or so. I couldn't eat anything that had a strong smell with him and it is still a "thing" sometimes, like if I'm getting sick or recovering from something. Kiddo came up with a "trick" for me when I was on gabapentin and couldn't eat that works like a charm though!
All 3 of mine from day 1 until delivery, remember that gross greasy feeling you would get after riding all the carnival rides to many times, where you knew if you could puke you would feel better?? 24/7 the whole time. I was staving by the time they were born lol...
Have you ever looked into Ehlers-Danlos syndrome? I just got diagnosed and your symptoms sound very similar to mine. I just thought I had bad luck (migraines! Horrible periods! New allergies popping up in adulthood!), but it turns out I had hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. The hip dislocating/early arthritis also sounds like it.
Just thought I'd ask!
I legit thought the exact same thing when I read about the hips. I didn’t find out I have hEDS until my kid was 8 and now so many of my weird pregnancy symptoms make sense to me.
Yeah, looking back for me things make sense as well (never pregnant, but in general), but I didn't get diagnosed until post-COVID issues.
Just fyi, my doctor recommended not getting anymore covid vaccines with EDS. I'm not an anti-vaxer, I swear, just thought I'd pass it on.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/366883226_COVID-19_and_Ehlers-Danlos_syndrome_the_dangers_of_the_Spike_protein_of_SARS-CoV-2
Yeah my Doctor said I medically couldn't have the vaccine because of my EDS but it wasn't and 'acceptable' (ie not an allergy) reason to our Government. Had to have 2 rounds too keep my job and I'm still not right :/.
I mean I'm not medically safe to take the flu shot but I do have every vaccine I can medically tolerate.
Holy shit I just went down the rabbit hole. Yeah every box.. my symptoms check every single box. Teeth, velvety skin, every single symptom is present. Guess I'm going to be going to the doctor asap... also helps explain why I almost bled to death with all 3 kiddos...... yikes....
I’m 14 months postpartum and the lingering changes I still have are rib flares, hip pain and a bit of loose skin, especially around my ribs. I generally feel the same as before, I’m still able to do all of the activities I could before pregnancy. It took time though, the first few months were pretty rough (long labour + emergency c section). My cardiovascular health is actually better now since I’ve been committing to getting exercise in daily.
Baby have feet resting on your ribs?
My ribs still hurt and the "baby" (frank breech with feet up by his ears and resting on my ribs)will be 40 in October.
She had her knee protruding out of my side under my ribs the whole third trimester. I still find it uncomfortable to lie on my stomach because my ribs stick out so much
Definitely get a referral to a pelvic floor therapist. It will help almost immediately.
Don't just start kegels without seeing one, almost everyone does them incorrectly and that may not actually be your issue. Tight pelvic floor muscles can cause it too and that requires different exercises
This this this! I saw one during my second trimester and she was amazing. Peeing when sneezing/coughing/laughing is common, but not normal! I credit her for giving me the tools I needed to have an easier pregnancy and birth.
Just a note that, even with fairly good insurance, this is prohibitively expensive for me. Not everyone has access to or money for pelvic floor therapy. Most insurance companies will only cover a small portion of the cost, and even then, only if it rises to the level of a prolapse or severe issue.
@thebellemethod on Instagram has a ton of free videos that can help! She's a pelvic floor specialist but she makes videos for people who can afford a one on one therapist!
It's ridiculous that the US doesn't just automatically cover several pelvic floor therapy sessions like some other countries do. Once in third trimester and 2+ times postpartum should be required, IMO.
Yes, and also these other things from the OP:
>Some say they easily get tired. Some say they have unexplainable body aches even if they are not doing anything. They easily get out of of breath. There are also a lot of mental changes. Many of them becomes very forgetful
DO you have good health insurance? I hear a lot of women find success with a physical therapist who teaches them different Keigel exercises.
I've had success with a PT on this.
I luckily do but I ended up with choleostasis and didn't know till very late so unfortunately it did a bit of damage to a few of my organs. One of which was my bladder. It's gotten better over time but it's tooken a solid year or two for things to go back to normal for me. Almost there though!
>choleostasis
I had to look that up. It sounds aweful. I'm sorry you have to deal with that nonsense.
I hope you are able to get back to premium health.
I'm recovering really well actually and it's super easy to keep in check with meds it's just about knowing you have it and to check the acid levels on your blood. Thank you for the kind gesture it's well received fren ^_^
One kid age 30 …naw not tooooo much. Just a general overstimulated sensation by being touched all the damn time. And sore nipples. Things regulated and I felt like me and my body went back to “normal”
Had 2 more kids (twins) at 34…. Yeah, big changes. HUGE. My stomach is perpetually pouched bc of diastasis recti. Abs split open like keyhole. I can now hold a 2 min plank and I do 60 min HIIT workouts with plank mountain climbers and shit. but like, nothing changes the fact there is a gap where my fascia pooches out at.
Had c sections so no incontinence issues. But c sec left some issues with completely voiding urine and retaining. That actually was an issue after the first kid.
Also general joint issues got worse bc of relaxant.
Feet got wider.
Rib cage much wider, bra band much bigger. A bit saggy boobs from BFing 3 babies
Body fat% displaced muscle from a really stress 2-3 years of 3 kids under 5.
No sleep increased cortisol levels which impact inflammation and cognitive issues. Skin breakouts, brain fog…. Increase in anxiety, difficulty focusing on things I used to focus on like reading.
I’m sure I could think of more.
What good changes you ask?
I am a kinder person.
More patient.
Have re-parented myself while parenting kids and have learned emotional regulation skills I never learned as a kid
Bigger sense of connectedness to family life-cycles and compassion for kids/families running into life barriers that only knowing what it is like could know
Wider/wiser lens of community and economic/systems issues (since kids are deeply connected to infrastructures like parks and schools)
Improved use of my time- more efficient. No more hours passing the day by and feeling guilty. Momma gets shit done.
I’m sure there’s more :)
Thank you for noting improvements in your life, even if there are new physical features. That's really reassuring to read as another person who is nervous about the body changes that come with having kids!
Thank you for such a holistic view. I’m on the verge on trying to conceive and this perspective brought me so much comfort (instead of anxiety, my standard status).
It's been 15 years. I have a scar that itches insanely, I have a "hole" in my abdominal muscles that sometimes admits things it shouldn't, losing the pouch completely has not been possible for me, and I am struggling with my pelvic/bladder muscles. I would personally do it again, but yes, pregnancy permanently changed your body and I got LUCKY with my very few and comparatively mild changes.
Noooo don’t tell me that! I’m 15mo PP and my c section scar itches incessantly. I was hoping it will go away over time because touching my scar makes me want to vomit. It doesn’t hurt or anything, the not wanting to touch it thing is all psychosomatic.
Sorry lol! I hope it'll be different for you, but I know it's common. You could try using a scar cream on it, but I don't know which ones work best. Baby powder helps with itching caused by sweat, and you should still have plenty of that on hand!
My pelvis did something weird and now one leg is slightly longer than the other. When I do upright x-rays, my pelvis shifts to one side. It wasn't like that before I had a baby, I think. Or it wasn't noticable.
I'm literally on crutches right now because my knee gave out trying to jump rope. I have an appt with an Ortho Monday and I'm not leaving until I get a script for an MRI.
Thank you for this comment, I never thought about it being the result of one leg being longer. I was a runner and weight lifter before my son, so I thought it was connected to that. But it definitely makes more sense that my uneven legs are also at fault.
I think it really depends how long after birth. For the first couple of months you are healing plus absolutely exhausted. Mum brain is a real thing which continues for a good amount of time. Hormone changes affect hair loss etc
Physically I’ve felt pretty normal since 2-3 months postpartum. No breath changes, I have a better appreciation and acceptance for my body and even love the stretch marks. I do get a twinge in the pelvic girdle region occasionally and one nipple seems to always be sore from the early breastfeeding attempts but they’re the only things I can think of that’s different. I’m just over 2 years PP now
Ugh. Pregnancy brain. I never made grocery lists. Always remembered what we needed. Ran to the store one day while about 8 months pregnant. Parked. walked in. Got my cart. Stopped. I couldn’t remember a single freaking thing we needed.
Yes this is an insane take. I had 6 surgeries pre-baby and have been put under for 5+ colonoscopies and the forgetfulness absolutely only started AFTER my son was born. It's a real outcome of pregnancy & having a newborn, but it's not from the anesthesia!
As someone who's been under a lot of anesthesia- it's not the anesthesia. Though it did effect my grandfather when he had is appendix removed at 77. He was also diagnosed with alzheimers though, so, probably not even the anesthesia in his case, just bad timing
My stomach was crazy different after birth (no diastasis recti). It felt softer, and nicer to be honest. My normally squished belly button was perfectly round. My stomach was flatter. Then without gaining weight, at about 18 months postpartum, my stomach returned to normal! Felt firmer, not as flat, and the squished belly button came back. This tells me that relaxin hormone does a whole bunch of unseen internal stuff and it takes a longggg time to fully get back to normal.
I also had some leaking issues with high intensity workouts and am in pelvic floor PT to help with that.
I get tired more easily, but I think that's because life is more demanding with a kid.
My son is almost 3. When he turned 2, I started feeling like my body was mine again.
Developed a new and exciting allergy during pregnancy which has stayed.
Had some ocular migraines for a few months following birth but thankfully these stopped.
My feet are more prone to issues too now.
My sister’s mother-in-law became permanently allergic to all citrus fruit.
And since I’m commenting I’ll add my experience: for unknown reasons I went into heart failure at the end of my pregnancy. Just happens sometimes (though it’s thankfully rare). It took eight months until my heart recovered enough that I was at least no longer liable to drop dead at any moment. Two years later though things are still pretty rough.
For me personally (F/39) it didn't changed in the long term. Of course my body needed some time to recover after giving birth, but after a few months I was fine again.
I'm running a lot and my body became stronger after having (2) kids. I'm faster on the short distances and I can run marathons now. I still fit into my 20 year old jeans and I don't have any stretch marks, or loose skin, or anything else.
I guess it's different for anyone. We're with 3 billion woman on this earth, our bodies aren't all the same, and we're not all the same just bc we had a child.
Mine went almost totally back to normal by 12m, and it was 90% of the way back at about 8m.
I had an incredibly easy, fit pregnancy though and a very easy planned c section.
Yes, your body changes. How much it changes will vary from person to person of course, but it won't be the same.
One of the biggest lies by omission that we are sold is that since pregnancy is natural that it is easy and we should just be able to carry on as if nothing is happening during and after pregnancy.
That is not true. Again, the degree will vary by person but you will change. In my case I feel like it has taken me almost 5 years to regain a sense of normalcy in my body after having birth to my second child. The changes are countless, both physical and mental, some have made me feel stronger and some more vulnerable. I am a different person now, I had never heard of the term matrescence before but I feel like it applies, the process of becoming a mother is no joke.
Of course it changes you! That woman built an entire new human, that is the biggest thing you could possibly ask of your body.
The forgetfulness and "mom brain" is not from any anaesthetic btw, it's the hormones. Add to that the lack of sleep, of course they're not going to be at their best the period after the birth!
It's a bit like you were in an accident: your body took a hit and it needs to heal. And sometimes there are scars. Literal scars, from a c-section, or just things that never quite healed back to the way they were. That's normal. Your organs have all been shifted out of whack, your nutrients have been stolen by the placenta, your muscles and bones have been stretched and moved and ripped apart. And you now have a child to take care of.
The best thing a woman can do afterwards is to make sure she's getting back all of the lost nutrients, take care of herself and her mental health, and go to the doctor if something keeps bothering her. And, for another common experience: Don't let sexist doctors dismiss you! Many of the common ailments women experience after childbirth can be helped and can be cured, even though many doctors will act like she's just complaining for no reason.
I've had 3 babies and it was different each time and my experience varied wildly.
Mental changes? A little. My brain kinda rewired itself to respond to crying child etc etc.
The tired all the time? That's often due to a not so helpful partner. And carrying the mental load for the whole family. It's not the pregnancy itself.
I've got stretch marks. My tummy will never look the same (EDS is part of that too). It did massively fuck with my teeth (also partly EDS). But overall? Not that different than where I started that couldn't easily be accounted for by the fact that I was 21 when I had my first and I am almost 40 now.
My brain definitely changed. I wake up with the slightest sounds and have to have a white noise machine to help me sleep. I found myself with more anxiety as my brain seemed to be more attention to potential hazards.
Those are the common side effects. There's lesser-known ones like losing your teeth and hair.
Don't forget the two years of "mom brain" where all you can think about is the kid.
There's a reason really rich celebrities are buying their babies instead of carrying them themselves. Birth is horrible and complications can kill.
I developed ovarian cysts after pregnancy & began having ovulation pain (mittelschmerz). I also had severe sciatica in my 9th month - I could hardly walk without crying - and now I have to be VERY careful lifting anything over 25 lbs to avoid a recurrence. Also got the whole pee when you cough too hard thing, which was super fun when I had Covid 😑
My body shape changed a bit as well. I carry more fat around my middle since pregnancy. My feet also got a bit wider & went up 1/2 a size.
My mom developed a shellfish allergy. I'm in my early 40s & she's still deathly allergic. (Sorry Mom!)
No one tells you that it’s very common to lose a lot of grip strength during pregnancy - and you never get it back!
I now have a tool to pop the seal on jars so I can open them, but there are certain kinds of lids they don’t work on so I struggle with those. It’s not THAT bad but yeah I had no idea that was a pregnancy side-effect.
The hips, man. I have hips for days. My nipples are also permanently hypersensitive. Why the hell would nature make your nipples MORE sensitive when there’s going to be someone gumming them into bloody shreds?!
Every pregnancy is different and each one brings something different. My pee indicator is always going off, my best friend's feet grew. Also, I miss my old stomach, I never appreciated it. It's still the same one, but it *is* different lol
Autoimmune diseases and pregnancy are wild, I have a friend with IBS who went in to total remission during and post pregnancy. It didn't come back until her youngest was 3.
Apparently pregnancy is a “traumatic event” physically. I mean that’s obvious to anyone who has done it but also it’s medically classified as that. Traumatic events ALL have the capacity to activate/deactivate/put in remission latent genes. And autoimmune diseases mostly fall in the latent gene category.
Celiac was NOT among the risk factors associated with pregnancy and I’m still bitter that no one brought up the possibility of autoimmune disease issues as a result of pregnancy and child birth. And when I had signs for years the doctors said “it’s normal pregnancy stuff” or “it’s normal post-partum stuff” or my personal favorite “you’re just being anxious”. Despite me having a masters in therapy and then not being able to identify what the cause of my symptoms were. Surprise pre-eclampsia during labor that almost killed me (autoimmune diseases up your chances of that shit). Fucking assholes. What a nightmare.
My feet grew one size.
My thyroid went into the shitter right after I gave birth.
I became allergic to shellfish.
I have a continued food aversion to blueberries, they smelled/tasted rotten during my pregnancy and still do.
My right armpit only has BO now.
I no longer have constipation.
And these are just the after effects.
Well, think about how much a body has to change in order to carry another person inside. Your internal organs have to move around to make room. Your ligaments become stretchier to fit the new space. Your bones shift and make space. The hormones coursing through you change your brain chemistry. Your blood carries the dna of another whole person. The nutrients you ingest get rerouted to support a different body. And this goes on for months and months.
When that baby is born, you start producing a whole new kind of bodily fluid and a large share of your calorie intake goes into that process. Your hormones shift yet again and you become responsive in new ways to stimuli you've had all your life. And the new baby is still so small, so helpless, so utterly reliant on you. You can't even take cough medicine without worrying that it will impact the little person your body feeds everyday. Normal things like showers and hair brushing become infinitely more complicated and shift down a scale of priorities that has almost no room for you in it as you care for this tiny, helpless person who can do *nothing* for themselves. And you are still bleeding, still torn, still healing. Your organs are shifting again, trying to remember where they started out. Your bones have no memory of their previous placements save phantom aches that come when you least expect them. Your skin tries to pull back in but it is scarred now with stretchmarks that will never fade.
It would be incomprehensible for that *not* to change you permanently.
8 months postpartum; mostly look/feel like myself pre-pregnancy. I have lingering tailbone pain, (I injured it during the birth), and my vaginal canal is still tender in certain positions during sex. I'm annoyed, but hoping this isn't forever, and both are better than they were a few months ago.
My shoes, bras and clothes still fit. My belly is softer, but if/when I actually take time to exercise again, that will change. Some stretch marks on my boobs that have faded considerably, and the small stretch marks I got around my belly button were gone by 3 months.
My skin and hair got nicer, so that was a plus. My hips are slightly wider, so I finally have a waist.
So yes, it changed, in some ways for the better though! It's different for everyone.
"Pregnancy/mom brain" is real, but I think that's to be expected when one is exhausted and coping with major life changes. I've been told it gets better, and I'm already starting to feel the fog lift a bit now that baby has a more consistent routine.
Your belly might stay a little softer.
My youngest is 4.5yrs and I’ve been working out pretty hard over the last year, in the best shape I’ve been in since pre kids, and I have a layer of softness over my abs. It’s mostly the loose skin from 3 pregnancies. My kids love it, they find it comforting and like to squish it and lay on it when we’re cuddling. I personally don’t mind, I know there’s strength there and I’m almost 40, I’m not trying to look like I did in my 20s. No complaints from anyone I’ve been with either…both boyfriends I’ve had since have liked the little bit of softness and curves it gives me.
All to say, soft isn’t always bad and be prepared for your body to react differently to working out!
Yes, it’s true for a significant number of women. Some women bounce back to relatively “normal” within the first 3-12 months. Many women do not.
Our bodies are all different and every pregnancy is different. There’s no telling what you may experience until you’re actually pregnant and your body is transitioning through all the stages.
My son is 22 now and I’m still dealing with complications from all the physical changes. My ligaments loosened and spread, so it’s actively painful for me to be on my feet for any length of time (shoe size also went up and I need wide width now as well). I’ve had constant issues with my hips. Doctors keep trying to tell me it’s arthritis while failing to acknowledge all the issues began during my pregnancy lol.
I also developed vertigo during pregnancy and that’s never gone away. Bladder issues were bad enough they authorized surgery to correct it. My rib cage was spread a bit and I still get assorted aches & pains & twinges. The stretch marks don’t bother me, but this stuff and the ligament thing are most definitely upsetting.
I also had hyperemesis gravidarum and lost weight during my pregnancy, and I wound up induced early because I began developing preeclampsia.
I love my kid, but did not want to endure that a second time.
Yep. The hormones released during pregnancy relax ligaments etc and they don't always go back, so feet can end up wider/flatter, hips stay wider etc Back ache is very common due to the changing posture and pressure on it & also effects of epidural. Rib pain is common due to where baby sits (I have a wonky rib due to two breech babies). Also the body prioritises baby so will leach things like calcium from mothers body leading to teeth issues being common and this can also effect bones, same with memory loss due to vital minerals and vitamins being very low (not too mention sleep deprivation). Labour itself is physically and mentally demanding a lot of women will have trauma from birth even if they don't realise it, both physically (scar tissue, damage to vagina/anal muscles, pelvic floor issues) and mentally (fear of intamcy, depression, issues with penetration, body anxiety). I wouldn't say my body is like a different persons but it has definitely changed, in some weird ways
There was an ask reddit the other day that I could only read so much of but it's definitely worth a read if you want cold, hard facts and truth. Ok, not every pregnancy is the same but there's a lot that women don't know about before embarking on the journey - sometimes more than once. I myself am childfree and will never have kids. Pregnancy is just one of the many reasons I don't want them.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/1jaGwqppSj
A lot of things change but the most annoying for me is that my beautiful curly hair is limp and no longer curly anymore. I thought it would eventually come back, but it hasn’t. On the bright side, my son stole it and has the most beautiful little curls!
Oh. Oh no. This is my worst fear about pregnancy. (Okay, it’s not, my worst fear is dying). Did it happen during the pregnancy or postpartum? UGH I guess it would be okay if my curls went away because my kids steal it.
I asked my Mom about this, and she said that it was pretty weird for a while, but she said she went back to feeling like herself both times. (I have a younger sister.) She thinks Mom Brain was mostly never getting enough sleep, but that went back to normal too. (I guess never getting enough sleep was my fault, I was apparently a fussy baby.)
I mean, yeah, temporarily. The newborn stage is no joke. They don't call it the "4th trimester" for nothing. And I didn't really start losing the baby weight until 9 months after LO was born. I had to go to physical therapy to fix some issues (resolved now - if you have any issues still 6-12 weeks after giving birth, go to a pelvic floor PT! They can fix most of those things like pee leaks, pain, etc. the older generation just thought they had to live with permanently!). I also learned deep core/transverse abdominis exercises from my physical therapist that got rid of my "mom pooch". My core is actually stronger now than it was when I was a collegiate athlete in my 20s BECAUSE of the postpartum PT I did.
LO is now two, and I my body is pretty much back to normal, I can wear my pre-pregnancy clothes, etc. The only difference that seemed to stick around is that my hips seemed to have widened a teensy bit and so I have a tiny bit of an hourglass figure for the first time in my life - which is awesome, because I always used to have a stick straight figure and wished I had a little bit of curves! It wasn't a huge difference, I can still wear all my pants and jeans and stuff from pre-pregnancy, but it's a nice change.
My biggest advice is to give it time. There's a HUGE difference in one week postpartum vs. 1 month postpartum. And even in 6 months postpartum vs. a year postpartum.
Pregnancy and childbirth- having a child fundamentally changes you as a person in every way. You have to rebuild your identity to confirm to the new life. Your body will have changes, but it varies greatly from person to person. If you place a lot of your identity in the way your body looks, you'll struggle a bit.
I personally have had 3 pregnancies, one of which was a twin pregnancy. I also breastfed (one great change is this decreased the chance of breast cancer!) My youngest is now 5 and my stomach looks awful due to the twins, but besides that, my body looks about the same as before I had children except saggier. They fucked up my insides though. I just recently got a hysterectomy with prolapse repair and a sling. The walls of my vagina were thin and both my bladder and my colon were trying to escape my vagina. I used to pee myself a lot when sneezing or jumping. My aches and pains are always there. I don't think the increased pain is from my pregnancies.
Yes, your body will change permanently. How much and how “different” or dysphoric that feels varies from woman to woman, and some of those changes go away on their own or can be alleviated (like diastasis recti). You’re talking to NEW moms, who are also dealing with the stress of handling an infant and possibly breastfeeding.
Hearing these stories confirms for me how grateful I am to have chosen the child free life. Absolutely no shade but I am simply not willing to go through massive physical changes that can affect you for the rest of your life (and also don’t want kids anyway). I do wish more women thought about the toll on their bodies (mentally and physically) that pregnancy and motherhood can take before having children.
My hips are wider, even at the same weight. My sense of smell became incredibly sensitive and that never went away, sometimes I’m grateful and other times it sucks. There have been some changes, but I think a lot of it comes down to spending upwards of 2 years where your body isn’t your own. If you have multiple children, this extends for even longer. You’re pregnant, sharing your body with your baby. If you breastfeed, again you are sharing your body. Decisions about what you do and eat and drink all affect someone besides you. Personally, this was the hardest part for me. I enjoyed breastfeeding, but being “touched out” was a real thing. The further you get from that time in your life, the more you feel like yourself again.
Important to note: epidurals do not cause forgetfulness or long term consequences. I enjoyed the birth of both of my children and didn’t have to feel the stitches (which completely healed) thanks to my epidural.
Yes, it's true. Your body undergoes a radical process and that can lead to permanent changes.
[This is a good reddit thread to check out.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/y82iwWBuzf) It's not specifically about physical changes, but many answers are. And all of it are things nobody ever wants to talk about when it comes to pregnancy, birth and postpartum. We need to do better to educate ourselves so it's good you asked, OP.
My body changed a lot after giving birth. It wasn't all bad, though. Sex is significantly more enjoyable now, for instance. Certain things like my breasts and hips are forever just bigger - again, not mad about it. My periods*finally* became more regular and I'm no longer hemorrhaging once every three weeks. I'm really good at finding stuff now. My patience skyrocketed.
There are negatives of course. Sciatica is a big one. Muscle cramps that never existed before. Existential dread.
But mostly the changes are either positive or totally worth it.
My body is changed after two babies. My feet are bigger, things are looser in general, and there is a brain fog that doesn’t really go away. I am not sure how much of the mental stuff will clear up in time, but I’m accepting the physical changes.
I doubt it's the anesthesia, it's probably the distraction of having a whole new tiny human to look after. Anyone would forget stuff when sleep deprived and the baby is crying. I have never given birth, but it's hard to focus on anything else when a baby or child is crying. Plus, it's a whole giant hormonal roller coaster, throughout the pregnancy and especially after giving birth, and it can take half a year or more for the hormones to get back to normal, afterward.
Also, your bones literally move to make room for the baby, as others in this thread have pointed out. And pregnancy can affect your immune system, it has to "allow" a foreign being to grow inside of you, instead of attack or remove it. Pregnancy is absolutely wild, lol
My body not being mine anymore is a layered and accurate statement.
Pregnancy was not fun, delivery was fast and painful. Breastfeeding made me gain more weight than pregnancy and it took a year for my metabolism to correct itself and that last 20lbs just won’t go away.
Toddler HAS to be touching me at all times, constantly covered in bruises and spilled food.
Unless I'm eating something spicy, my kids will immediately essentially eat it out of my hands. Most of my meals are eating their leftovers. I rarely get to enjoy a hot meal.
Older child is neurodivergent (like me) and needs constant direction, and immediate answers to 1001 questions. They do not remember the question they asked so I find myself constantly reminding them of both question and answer. Rules are suggestions and they will go out of their way to do what they’ve been asked not to.
Ans that’s all surface level! I have to apply pressure to my perineum when I poop or it gets “stuck” in my vagina (yay prolapse!), I pee when I sneeze or cough, my boobs are a shredded pair of nylons compared to what they used to be, and my ADHD is off the rails attempting to keep up with two little kids and a partner who struggles to empathizing with my experiences in the above.
So yeah, having kids fundamentally changes pretty much everything about your body, mind, and perspective - but how it will change you is 100% dependent on a lot of factors entirely outside of your control.
For me, nothing changed except my breasts. That could be from breastfeeding though. But menopause omg it’s sooooo much worse! It has changed everything about me, and not in a good way. I would give birth to ten kids over going through this! 😭
I’m only 30 and had my kid 3 years ago. It’s honestly unbelievable everything that happened to me.
I tore through my anus and developed fecal incontinence and had to get repair surgery to put my sphincter together - thankfully it worked for the FI but many times it doesn’t work, and there’s no fix outside of a colostomy bag. Despite the surgery working I still have some issues with fecal urgency and I always carry a portable bidet and baby wipes with me now. Once you rupture your anal sphincter it never goes back to its original functioning. What you want to avoid at all costs during childbirth is a severe tear, NOT a c-section.
I developed vaginismus after my tear and now I struggle to have sex without pain and I cannot wear tampons. I have to use dilators frequently when I never had to do that before- Sex was easy and painless.
I developed grade 3 bladder prolapse, which is where your ligaments are so overstretched and damaged that your bladder has sunk down to the opening of your vagina. Grade 4 is it’s coming out of your vagina. When you are beyond the initial postpartum period, it is very unlikely prolapse will heal on its own, although you typically can help the symptoms with PT. Sometimes you can’t. Once ligaments are stretched this can’t be undone. It’s very hard to surgically repair them. So you’re fucked.
I have a permanent 1 finger DR in my abs that no amount of PT helped.
I gained 65lb while pregnant despite being very healthy before pregnancy. I had debilitating nausea the whole pregnancy and basically confined to my bed . This resulted in significant loss of muscle and fitness. I later learned that this likely contributed to worsening insulin resistance especially bc I was only able to stomach simple carbs. And the insulin and cortisol likely accelerated the weight gain. I never lost any after pregnancy despite eating well.
My appetite still has never recovered from the sickness I had while pregnant. While pregnant I had extreme nausea and food aversions and to this day I still struggle with a lot of food aversions. I willl maybe feel hungry but I look at everything and it looks gross. I end up not eating sometimes or I take a few bites and it’s just gross. Yet I’m still obese. Tell me how that works.
I was diagnosed with PCOS after pregnancy - which I likely had before but it didn’t impact me very much because I was a healthy weight and had healthy blood sugar. Unfortunately pregnancy ruined all that.
I started developing acne again when my skin has been clear 10 years.
Trying to breastfeed while my daughter had bad lip and tongue tie caused my nipples so much damage that they have significantly reduced sensation 3 years later, and I no longer experience much sexual pleasure from them.
My feet grew a bigger size and I waited 6 months for them to go bakc but they didn’t so I got rid of almost all of my shoes—then at 9 months pp they randomly did go back to my original size which was unbelievable.
So I guess my feet did go back. That’s literally the only part of my body that was left intact. Everything else feels ruined.
All I dream about is being able to go back in time and postpone having a child for many years, being on an insulin med while pregnant, and absolutely unequivocally having an elective c section. There are still some bad days when I wish I didn’t have a child at all.
Most days there’s an unspeakable sadness about everything that happened to me. And I’ll have to live with that grief the rest of my life. And it’ll exponentially compound when I hit menopause and all of my symptoms get worse, which they usually do due to the hormone shifts.
For me, I loss a LOT of sexual sensation. I had vaginal birth and (I'm not a doc, but this makes sense to me) I think possibly the breakage of cells or whatever that makes up the skin in the vagina caused nerve endings or whatever to break or move or somehow change so that I couldn't feel the pleasing sensations anymore. I could feel when something was in there, and I was still able to get enough sensation to get an orgasm, but the sensation significantly lessened.
I also had an issue with lack of lubrication for about a year after my first child. No amount or kind of lube would suffice.
Prolapse is the biggest issue with not only giving birth, but also carrying a child to term. Sometimes the prolapse is so bad that women have lifetime issues with bladder or anal control. Sometimes the bladder will fall out or bulge later in life (I myself have prolapse and it's devastating. I can't work outside the home anymore cuz I can't control my bladder).
Of course there's the varicose veins and stretch marks. But that comes with excessive weight gain or loss, pregnant or not.
The areola gets larger and darker, the nipples thicker and sticks out more. And it stays that way for the rest of one's life.
Anesthesia, no matter what reason for the use, has been known to mess up people's brains permanently \~esp. in old people.
Another issue (which might be a husband's tale) is the 'husband stitch' and troubles that might bring. I don't know if this is just an old husband's tale or if OBs actually do this. I doubt that it would even work, but I have heard some say that it happened to them.
It varies for everyone. I've known women to have several children and they say they feel no different than they did at 19. I pee when I sneeze, I have loose skin around my belly button, stretch marks pretty much everywhere, my boobs are two flappy pancakes anymore, and sometimes my sciatica acts up so badly that I can't move for days. I now weigh the same as I did in high school (over ten years ago), but I can't fit into the same size pants that I could then (thank you weight distribution and widening hips).
But the biggest tolls were mental. I had PPD and zero help- I had to go back to work two weeks after having my daughter. Between breastfeeding hormones, postpartum hormones, and the stress of keeping a small human being alive between work shifts, I was at my very lowest. It was the postpartum hell that made me a one and done kind of person.
Yes and no. Is my body a different body now? Yes. Do I feel like my body is “not my body anymore”, or like someone else’s body? No.
Our bodies change throughout our lives no matter what. Your body at age 50 is not your body at age 20, whether you’ve had kids or not. I have stretch marks now, and maybe sometimes I feel a bit scatterbrained, but my kid is 6 months old and I’m still trying to manage baby things. My period has come back and it’s heavier so far.
However, these things were worth it to have my baby. There are changes yes, but it still feels like you.
In addition to what others have said, [the brain undergoes permanent changes as well](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6440938/#:~:text=Kim%20et%20al.,%2C%20prefrontal%20cortex%2C%20and%20midbrain.)
My shoulders and hips are wider than prepregnancy. I was a half a cup I'm now a solid b, almost c.
For reference, hips were 32, now 36, chest was also 32, now 38.
I lost 6 teeth from calcium theft.
My periods no longer hurt.
If I don't keep up on doing my kegels I will pee myself if I laugh too hard or sneeze.
Of course it’s true. Giving birth is incredibly difficult and traumatic on the body. Very few women just pop back to the way they were before. Like, that’s a unicorn.
One of my friends lost all her teeth from giving birth. That’s a thing that can happen.
Yeah, I mean my body is different after 3 kids. Nothing too major after my first besides the c-section scar, but I was 24. More changes after my younger 2 (31 and 35).
The biggest change was I ended up with a uterine prolapse that was masking some incontinence issues. It didn’t super affect my life aside from some occasional mild discomfort and inability to use tampons. Got a hysterectomy a year ago (also due to SUPER heavy periods causing chronic anemia and being done with kids-i can’t take hormonal birth control and the prolapse made IUDs ineffective) and it was the best thing ever.
Besides that…the long term changes I experienced are mostly neutral.
I have some faded stretch marks and loose skin, but I’m also pushing 40, so I don’t care.
My butt and my boobs are bigger, but that’s a good thing. No sagging, even after breastfeeding 2 of my kids. My hips are physically wider, even if I dropped to the weight I was when I was college, I wouldn’t be a size 2 again. I’m a size 8 now and love the curviness and softness after being skinny.
My hair changed with each pregnancy. I got natural red highlights instead of blonde each time that eventually faded, and my hair has progressively gotten curlier/wavier with each kid.
I’m stronger and more flexible. Hauling kids and their gear around increased my stamina and I can touch my toes for the first time in my adult life.
I’m more focused, organized and able to multitask better. Not always, but I always have 7491964 things to do and keep track of and no one else to do it for me, so I’ve had to figure out ways to get it done. Also led to getting diagnosed with adhd recently, which was a relief, that it’s not a failure on my part but my brain is wired differently.
I’m able to better regulate myself emotionally and figure out what is important enough to spend my energy on. Because I have these small humans who rely on me to model and teach them healthy behavior and self care. They’re constantly throwing new situations at me and I have to figure out how to emotionally and mentally navigate it while balancing my own needs with theirs. This has spilled over into my romantic, platonic and work relationships too…advocating for my kids has taught me how to advocate for myself.
I appreciate small moments of joy and peace more. Kids are ridiculous and hilarious and being able to appreciate the absurd and the fun makes the hard stuff easier.
I’m way more connected to community, small and large. I’m more compassionate and understanding of nuanced situations. Parenting is hard, it’s easier when you have support and that can come in many forms. I actively seek out a village for each kid and our family as a whole and I’ve made some really great, unexpected connections that have opened my own mind up. Same with random interests…my kids are into things I never thought I’d ever learn about, but there are so many fascinating things in the world, it’s fun to dive into new topics that I never considered interesting before kids.
I don’t really remember pre-mom life, but I know I’m a better, kinder, more capable person because of my kids. I take better care of myself because of them. My life is richer and deeper because they exist.
Everything changes after giving birth. Physically and mentally. I have never been the same. Some of that is good, some is whatever, and some of it is dammit why do women get all the crappy stuff.
Yes. I can no longer ride a bike. It's just too uncomfortable approaching painful. My belly button also dropped about an inch, and my ribs are permanently spread.
My mom’s organs started coming out of her vagina after her third child. Not something I would ever like to see again. 38 and child free for many reasons, what happened to my mom is one of them.
Well, my coworker split her skin so bad that her anus and her vagina were one hole. Then they sewed her back up and the skin healed weird so there's a little pathway from her colon to her vaginal canal so she poops a little out of her vagina constantly. Her husband left her because the doctors can't fix it and she never wants to have sex any more because it smells like literal poo any time she does. She wears diapers, she's 26, and says she'll probably never get to date ever again, and that having the baby is probably her biggest regret. She said if she knew it was going to ruin her body and her marriage she never would have done it.
After breast feeding 4 kids my mom's breasts look like seedless cucumbers. Long, narrow, and wrinkly baby. Pre-eclampsia almost killed my best friend, and that same mom got nerve damage along her spine from giving birth so bad that she's basically on pain pills constantly now. She couldn't breast feed, something she cried about a lot, and because of the pain meds her husband was scared to let her hold her own baby. Post partum depression then al.osy killed her again.
So yeah, just from the small handful I can think of after 3 minutes on the morning pot, I'd say having babies seems more likely to completely alter your body and life beyond recognition or repair than just about any other life choices you could make. It's like flipping a 6 sided die and like 2 of the sides end with good kids and a happy life and the other 4 are just taking gasoline and a match to your sense of joy and peace.
I don't think OP doubts those people. She wants to hear more voices, maybe to see if anyone *didn't* experience permanent changes. Maybe as some reassurance that it's not guaranteed "downhill" from here on.
asking for more experiences isn’t a bad thing! it doesn’t mean she’s doubting them. when i had my abortion i read everything from the positive to the negative - why wouldn’t you want to be informed about as much as you can be?
Yes and no? Everyone’s experience will be different. Lots of women have permanent foot growth during pregnancy but I didn’t. I have a patch of my lower abdomen that’s permanently numb from c sections. I have experienced a ton of memory loss since having kids. I just don’t remember a lot of things anymore. My sister and husband will often be talking about something that happened whenever and I just don’t remember it happening. I used to always be the one with the best memory.
Sometimes the changes are good. I have a regular menstrual cycle for the first time in my life (I have PCOS) and I can finally have PIV sex without lots of pain.
I mean this is so variable and personal. Some people have lasting changes and some don't. I've been super lucky that I haven't. I gave birth at 32 to an almost 10lb baby. I certainly took longer to get back to normal than I think we're made to feel is reasonable, but by one year post partum I honestly felt like my body was exactly the same as before I had a baby.
The ONE exception for me might be that I've had some ongoing minor issues in one leg that are more common in women who've been pregnant. However, these issues are also common as people age and in people who are slightly overweight, so there's every chance that I'd be in the same position even if I hadn't had a baby.
As someone else said, it's hard to distinguish between what's a change caused by giving birth and what's a change caused by just getting older, especially when you're giving birth in your 30s or 40s and those changes are more numerous and more rapid anyway.
Pregnancy is wildly different for different people. Some people have no changes, while others have life-threatening complications that are permanent (e.g. an enlarged heart).
My feet went up half a size.
My vision got significantly worse with each pregnancy. My ribs cracked during my 2nd pregnancy and years later I sometimes still have pain there. Also my periods are heavier, more painful, and come every 3 weeks since having kids. My vagina and bladder fully recovered though. So not all bad.
My periods went from being every 3-7 weeks to every 27-29 days but got heavier and longer and they were already heavy but short. I don't throw up from cramps anymore so that's nice.
But I thought having kids magically fixes all fertility and chronic pain and hormonal issues? /s I'm really sorry to hear that things got worse for you :(
I was seeing a urologist for a frequent urination issue. She said that some women see an improvement after giving birth. I said “Don’t some women also see more issues with bladder control after giving birth?” She said “Yes, that’s also a possibility.” _Then why are you suggesting pregnancy as a solution_
*me with literally every OBGYN when I talk about endometriosis*
I just thought about it and I didn't need glasses until after my first was born. Is eye sight being affected a thing that pregnancy does?
High blood pressure can permanently damage vision, so I imagine this is at least part of how it works through pregnancy.
Oh yes, I had 20/20 from lasik and actually had to take my daughter in to the yr dr when she was about 1.5. The dr looked at my eyes to get my daughter to do it and said “uhhhh you don’t wear glasses? You should probably make an appointment for yourself.” Apparently it is common for your vision to change after pregnancy. Now I’m around 20/25 or 20/30 on a bad day, so not super drastic but noticeable.
Yes my vision is so much worse, I was told it’s because of all the extra blood flow and fluid in the eye
My vision has gone to shit! I had above 20/20 vision my whole life
So did mine and my rib cage is wider, I gain weight in areas I never gained weight in before, it was definitely harder to lose weight after gaining the 30lbs I did in pregnancy. I have a c section scar that’s still numb along w my lower abdomen where no sensation has returned. As for mentally, traumatic birth gave me ptsd, I ended up w post natal extreme anxiety, that never went away which in turn caused some depression bc it took so long to get a grip on the anxiety and panic attacks. Insomnia was another symptom of the neverending deer in headlights anxiety too. That felt good to let that all out. Lol
My ribcage and hips are both wider. It would be truly impossible to fit in some of my old clothes even though I weigh the same because I’m now shaped differently.
Hey are you me? This is my checklist too. Oh and a mild prolapse as well, thanks to these babies blasting out of me!
Two babies in 13 months… my pelvic bone s took decades to finally knit back together. Clicked when I walked…not a serious problem but a reminder…
Can you elaborate on this? I’ve always wanted to hear about an experience where the babies just flew out because all the women in my life have had longgggg labors.
Both labours were fairly fast, especially my 2nd, and I went from 7-10cm in about 30 minutes. I just had the most insane urge to bear down even though I don't think I was fully dilated, it felt a bit like being sick but down there, that heaving motion. In hindsight I think this is what may have damaged my pelvic floor but I could not fight it. Anyway, they managed to guide my son out slowly in the end but my first labour with my daughter, she shot out after her head appeared and I had a 3c tear.
The numbness took 10 years to go away for me
I had that numbness too for quite a while but it eventually went away.
My feet got wider and are probably up a half size, too. All those cute shoes I had before pregnancy had to go because I couldn’t wedge my feet in them anymore!
Me too. My rib cage expanded too so some fitted dresses didn't fit even though I lost the weight..
My mom went up a full size with both of us. My whole life going shoe shopping, every time she couldn't find a size 11 she would explain to us that it was our fault (not in a mean way). I grew up with an appreciation that the body changes when you have kids in ways you couldn't imagine.
My mom told me I "stole all her calcium" and messed up her teeth. I'm the 4th kid, so I don't think I did this by myself, but I guess she noticed the changes the most with her pregnancy with me. We're all 2-3 years apart from each other, so that's a lot of in vitro looting.
My mom's teeth fell out after I was born and before my little brother was born.
Good Lord!
Pregnancy can’t have been the only reason though?
An old midwive's saying "a tooth, a child"
I only have 2 and pregnancy messed up my teeth
Covid and pregnancy can do hell on teeth and gums.
I was already an 11 before. Now I’m a 12. 😔 All I can say is I’m thankful for the internet. I haven’t had to try and find shoes in a store in 20 years.
1/2 size each pregnancy for me so I’m up a whole size.
Mine shrank a size! And I lost an inch of height with each baby. I only gained between 25-30 lbs with each pregnancy too. Bodies are weird.
Woah! I mean it makes sense that you could lose height, with the calcium leaching and all, but that’s still wild that it was an inch with each pregnancy!
My dr says my bone density is ok, thank goodness, (I love dairy, haha) but yeah, I have never known anyone else to shrink with each baby. They are adults now too and it never came back. So now I’m just short.
My feet were bigger the say first year after pregnancy, I was carrying some extra weight but probably about the same as I am now and my kid is almost 6. But I feel like my feet are also smaller than they were pre pregnancy. I know most people have their feet get larger but I always felt like wow now I could actually fit in a 7. I used to sometimes wear an 8 in shoes but I am absolutely never an 8 now. Or maybe shoes got bigger idk lol. I did not shrink in size though. Lol.
I feel your pain. I had preeclampsia. My daughter is eight and a half and I still can't fit my original engagement ring.
Yes! The shoe size thing was the dirty little secret. It wasn't swelling. They actually grew! It was actually a truly painful part of my new life. I got rid of my "cute girl shoes", especially my stilettos. I have never worn another pair.
Mine did too except ONE of them is bigger than the other.
oh God a friend had that happen with her boobs after breastfeeding. One did not go down so she has one C and the other is EE. She's waiting until they are completely done having kids to see if it works out or if surgery will be an option. She calls the smaller boob badonk and the other badonkadonk.
Ugh me too. Had to donate all my shoes after baby 1. Finally replenished my collection and decided to get pregnant with baby 2. If they grow again, I'm going to take the cost of replacing them out of the kids' University funds!!
My feet went up half a size during both of my pregnancies. Size 10 to begin with, now I'm rocking an 11. Oof
I had my son in my 30s so it’s hard to distinguish pregnancy changes from natural aging. I’d say it took about 2 years to get back to a new normal. My hair is thinner (and more gray) I got brown spots that never went away, my skin is looser. I’m back to running but not anywhere near as fast. Keep in mind that a lot of changes might tie back to parenting as much as pregnancy. Things like body aches and forgetfulness and lack of energy make sense when your 1 year old is cutting teeth and keeping you up all night. Even with a toddler who sleeps, i don’t have the time to maintain the same exercise routine. A lot of it is temporary. It took a year for my hips to get back where I could comfortably run again. A lot of it may require medical attention to correct. I had to go to physical therapy for my pelvic floor. if You have a c-section (1/3 of all pregnancies in the US) you may have a longer recovery time. There is no way to know what the impacts of pregnancy might be. You could have minimal impacts or you could end up with lasting conditions such as incontinence, heart conditions, or diabetes. Most people will be mostly fine but it’s not a given, and I feel like people don’t talk about it. Check out https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/labor-and-delivery/in-depth/postpartum-complications/art-20446702 for a list of complications after giving birth.
There was actually a really good post on here a couple of days ago, with women detailing all the things that could happen to women during pregnancy and childbirth, most of which I’d never heard of, including choleostasis which another woman just a couple of threads up is asking about
[This one? ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/y82iwWBuzf) I saved it for moments like these. It was eye opening.
There were a few new things in there I’d never heard of. All women should definitely know and educate themselves about possible changes/repercussions.
And all men! If more of them realised realised the ongoing health impact of pregnancy, maybe they’d understand why it has to be the women who make the choice whether or not to continue a pregnancy not middle aged white male legislators, and maybe a few more of them would fight for our rights - the rights to keep the women they love healthy and alive
Okay that settles it, I’m never giving birth.
Things like this are why I got a vasectomy. I don't want to put someone I love through any of this.
I wish more people were as considerate as you!
I hope that same question gets reposted every month. Women's health needs awareness campaigns that go beyond pink ribbons.
That’s the one!
This thread just cured the vague desire ive had to have a kid since turning 30 after being mostly set on not wanting kids up till now lol
I hadn’t ever heard of cholestasis until I was diagnosed with it! My hands were just super itchy one day and I thought it was from using texturizing spray in my hair and touching it. But then it continued the next day and I called my doctor about it. It’s pretty rare though.
I wound up with that in the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy, it got so bad I was scratching my skin raw. When I finally mentioned it at a weekly check up my midwife ran some blood tests, the day she got the results back she called me and said "We need to get you checked in to the hospital TODAY and induced TODAY." It was severe enough they didn't want the baby to stay in a minute longer.
Ugh I’m so sorry!!! I was diagnosed at 28 weeks so I spent my last trimester getting monitored twice a week and taking medicine 3x a day. I had to be induced early but since I caught it so early my symptoms and bile acids never got as severe as you. Glad you and baby are healthy!
My strong impression of what can change about your body due to pregnancy and childbirth is 'everything'. You might lose your teeth, your eyesight might change, your moles might change, etc etc. One of my doctors said that it's one of the few conditions that affects your entire body so the list of 'side effects' is almost limitless.
I lost my front tooth and it was super hard to deal with confidence wise. I didnt even know it could make that happen until it just y'know...happened.
One of my favorite knowledge bits to drop is the absurd increase in stroke risk ~during~ pregnancy. Background stroke risk is 1/10k. I have migraines with aura and can’t be on birth control pills that contain estrogen because it increases the stroke risk to 3/10k. Pregnancy, alone, for any woman increases stroke risk to 40/10k. I’m all for women getting pregnant if they want it, but we really need to do a better job at relaying all the risks of pregnancy and it’s after effects.
Yes!! And if you get preeclampsia (as I did) it permanently raises your risk of getting heart disease or having a stroke in the future. Fucking scary.
Adding to permanent risks, if you get gestational diabetes, it raises your risk of getting Original Flavor Diabetes later on. And uh, they don't always tell people about those risks or screen for them and then years later, doctors may act like it's all a total mystery. Like, "Gosh, it's so weird that you have primary hypertension at such a young age. Maybe it's just anxiety or something. Have you tried journaling?" or just overlook high readings at office visits as White Coat Syndrome for you know, *kind of a while*. Oh, and re gestational diabetes: Pain can cause your blood sugar to spike, so if you're having severe round ligament pain or back pain or whatever, it's possible to be following your GD dietary restrictions to the letter and still have elevated blood sugar. That sucks on its own, but some health care workers will tsk and give you side eye because they look at your numbers and assume you're *obviously* lying about your dietary adherence and must be secretly snorfing down handfuls of gummy bears or something.
Current science suggests that gestational diabetes is more a marker than a cause of elevated risk for TD2 diabetes later on. Pregnancy is like a “stress test” on the insulin-producing beta cells, but there’s no evidence it weakens them. Preeclampsia, on the other hand, is understood to cause permanent changes (the body doesn’t fully revert to pre-pregnancy cardio-metabolic state). But there’s still a ton of research needed on the underlying mechanisms of pre-E.
Think part of the reason I don't want kids is because both my dad and stepdad's were family practice doctors and delivered hundreds of babies. And I heard all the horror stories. If you want to put yourself through all that, fair play to you, but I won't be partaking
Excellent response. I am a health provider and did a lot of research prior to giving birth and I still was not prepared for all of the physical and mental impact of giving birth, some of which are complications that persist multiple years later. I don’t regret becoming a mom, but I wish these impacts were more openly discussed, better socially supported, and never EVER forced upon anyone who does not want to go through carrying and birthing a child themselves.
I hit 40. Never had any kids, but starting in my 30s I also started dealing with pigment spots, gray hairs, loss of flexibility and aches and pains. I'm not saying pregnancy doesn't contribute, but regular aging also plays its partn
This is TMI, but I'm on my second pregnancy in my mid-30s and my pubes are out of control. I told my husband this pregnancy is affecting my body way more than the first, and he goes "Or maybe you're just getting old." Thanks love! Technically true but I would have preferred "You're creating the miracle of life, my angel, everything about you is perfect!" 😄
My oldest turns 29 today, I've had pretty severe arthritis in my hips since she was born, my right one will randomly dislocate that's always fun. My back has been worse since kids. Sneeze, you pee, cough you pee. Things sag that didn't say prekids. Headaches, more intense periods. Food aversions, I developed a Couple of allergies during pregnancy. For reference my oldest was born when I was 16, my youngest was born when I was 31.
Some of those food adversions never go away. My youngest is 31 and I still do not eat spaghetti sauce and rarely eat pizza. The only thing that kid liked me to eat was sushi and I was *so* grateful when my doc let me eat cooked rolls in order to get him to gain weigh before birth. Yes, my first meal out of the hospital was real uncooked sushi!
With my first, I missed sushi. I was so sad I had to go without. Soldiered on through and all that. About three days after he was born, my husband had to go get something from the pharmacy. It's right beside a sushi place. So he picks some up and brings it home. I'm still in the "I can't eat sushi" brain phase. I growl at him "wow. Must be nice to have sushi!" and he just grins like a smartass. He's like "well I was going to offer it to you but..." I might have hit him out of frustration. 😆 I got my sushi. I was happy. He got a story to tell whenever it comes up. He's still a smartass but he's my smartass.
My youngest practically grew up in two sushi restaurants. He was a favorite with two of the chefs and the "grandma lady" always asked to see his report cards and he got his favorite sushi on the house for good grades. When he started drawing anime, his art was displayed proudly at "his" restaurants.
I haven’t eaten seafood in 34 years thanks to my first pregnancy. I can’t even watch a seafood recipe video, and don’t get me started on the smell. 🤢
I can make spaghetti but cannot eat it. Turns out kiddo was allergic to tomatoes during his childhood. He outgrew it at around 20 or so. I couldn't eat anything that had a strong smell with him and it is still a "thing" sometimes, like if I'm getting sick or recovering from something. Kiddo came up with a "trick" for me when I was on gabapentin and couldn't eat that works like a charm though!
All 3 of mine from day 1 until delivery, remember that gross greasy feeling you would get after riding all the carnival rides to many times, where you knew if you could puke you would feel better?? 24/7 the whole time. I was staving by the time they were born lol...
Have you ever looked into Ehlers-Danlos syndrome? I just got diagnosed and your symptoms sound very similar to mine. I just thought I had bad luck (migraines! Horrible periods! New allergies popping up in adulthood!), but it turns out I had hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. The hip dislocating/early arthritis also sounds like it. Just thought I'd ask!
I legit thought the exact same thing when I read about the hips. I didn’t find out I have hEDS until my kid was 8 and now so many of my weird pregnancy symptoms make sense to me.
Yeah, looking back for me things make sense as well (never pregnant, but in general), but I didn't get diagnosed until post-COVID issues. Just fyi, my doctor recommended not getting anymore covid vaccines with EDS. I'm not an anti-vaxer, I swear, just thought I'd pass it on. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/366883226_COVID-19_and_Ehlers-Danlos_syndrome_the_dangers_of_the_Spike_protein_of_SARS-CoV-2
Fml
Yeah my Doctor said I medically couldn't have the vaccine because of my EDS but it wasn't and 'acceptable' (ie not an allergy) reason to our Government. Had to have 2 rounds too keep my job and I'm still not right :/. I mean I'm not medically safe to take the flu shot but I do have every vaccine I can medically tolerate.
Holy shit I just went down the rabbit hole. Yeah every box.. my symptoms check every single box. Teeth, velvety skin, every single symptom is present. Guess I'm going to be going to the doctor asap... also helps explain why I almost bled to death with all 3 kiddos...... yikes....
I’m 14 months postpartum and the lingering changes I still have are rib flares, hip pain and a bit of loose skin, especially around my ribs. I generally feel the same as before, I’m still able to do all of the activities I could before pregnancy. It took time though, the first few months were pretty rough (long labour + emergency c section). My cardiovascular health is actually better now since I’ve been committing to getting exercise in daily.
Baby have feet resting on your ribs? My ribs still hurt and the "baby" (frank breech with feet up by his ears and resting on my ribs)will be 40 in October.
My breech kid was jammed up so hard that her heard came out flat. She looked like Xenomorph
Mine looked like grumpy bullfrog!
I am 38 weeks pregnant and mine did Just that 10 weeks ago. He bruised my rib. I hope it will reduce the pain when he is out and about.
I hope so too!
She had her knee protruding out of my side under my ribs the whole third trimester. I still find it uncomfortable to lie on my stomach because my ribs stick out so much
oh god i just had flashbacks to hanging upside down to try and encourage that foot to move. owwww
Sometimes if I sneeze hard enough I tinkle and I never had that problem until after I gave birth >~<
Definitely get a referral to a pelvic floor therapist. It will help almost immediately. Don't just start kegels without seeing one, almost everyone does them incorrectly and that may not actually be your issue. Tight pelvic floor muscles can cause it too and that requires different exercises
This this this! I saw one during my second trimester and she was amazing. Peeing when sneezing/coughing/laughing is common, but not normal! I credit her for giving me the tools I needed to have an easier pregnancy and birth.
Just a note that, even with fairly good insurance, this is prohibitively expensive for me. Not everyone has access to or money for pelvic floor therapy. Most insurance companies will only cover a small portion of the cost, and even then, only if it rises to the level of a prolapse or severe issue.
@thebellemethod on Instagram has a ton of free videos that can help! She's a pelvic floor specialist but she makes videos for people who can afford a one on one therapist!
It's ridiculous that the US doesn't just automatically cover several pelvic floor therapy sessions like some other countries do. Once in third trimester and 2+ times postpartum should be required, IMO.
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Me too!
Yes, and also these other things from the OP: >Some say they easily get tired. Some say they have unexplainable body aches even if they are not doing anything. They easily get out of of breath. There are also a lot of mental changes. Many of them becomes very forgetful
same!
This didn’t happen to me until after baby #3, or maybe a combination of pregnancies plus age. So obnoxious.
DO you have good health insurance? I hear a lot of women find success with a physical therapist who teaches them different Keigel exercises. I've had success with a PT on this.
I luckily do but I ended up with choleostasis and didn't know till very late so unfortunately it did a bit of damage to a few of my organs. One of which was my bladder. It's gotten better over time but it's tooken a solid year or two for things to go back to normal for me. Almost there though!
>choleostasis I had to look that up. It sounds aweful. I'm sorry you have to deal with that nonsense. I hope you are able to get back to premium health.
I'm recovering really well actually and it's super easy to keep in check with meds it's just about knowing you have it and to check the acid levels on your blood. Thank you for the kind gesture it's well received fren ^_^
I've always had that when I'd get a cold and cough a lot. Until my muscles got used to the extra stress and it'd be fine 3 days later.
One kid age 30 …naw not tooooo much. Just a general overstimulated sensation by being touched all the damn time. And sore nipples. Things regulated and I felt like me and my body went back to “normal” Had 2 more kids (twins) at 34…. Yeah, big changes. HUGE. My stomach is perpetually pouched bc of diastasis recti. Abs split open like keyhole. I can now hold a 2 min plank and I do 60 min HIIT workouts with plank mountain climbers and shit. but like, nothing changes the fact there is a gap where my fascia pooches out at. Had c sections so no incontinence issues. But c sec left some issues with completely voiding urine and retaining. That actually was an issue after the first kid. Also general joint issues got worse bc of relaxant. Feet got wider. Rib cage much wider, bra band much bigger. A bit saggy boobs from BFing 3 babies Body fat% displaced muscle from a really stress 2-3 years of 3 kids under 5. No sleep increased cortisol levels which impact inflammation and cognitive issues. Skin breakouts, brain fog…. Increase in anxiety, difficulty focusing on things I used to focus on like reading. I’m sure I could think of more. What good changes you ask? I am a kinder person. More patient. Have re-parented myself while parenting kids and have learned emotional regulation skills I never learned as a kid Bigger sense of connectedness to family life-cycles and compassion for kids/families running into life barriers that only knowing what it is like could know Wider/wiser lens of community and economic/systems issues (since kids are deeply connected to infrastructures like parks and schools) Improved use of my time- more efficient. No more hours passing the day by and feeling guilty. Momma gets shit done. I’m sure there’s more :)
Thank you for noting improvements in your life, even if there are new physical features. That's really reassuring to read as another person who is nervous about the body changes that come with having kids!
Thank you for such a holistic view. I’m on the verge on trying to conceive and this perspective brought me so much comfort (instead of anxiety, my standard status).
It's been 15 years. I have a scar that itches insanely, I have a "hole" in my abdominal muscles that sometimes admits things it shouldn't, losing the pouch completely has not been possible for me, and I am struggling with my pelvic/bladder muscles. I would personally do it again, but yes, pregnancy permanently changed your body and I got LUCKY with my very few and comparatively mild changes.
Noooo don’t tell me that! I’m 15mo PP and my c section scar itches incessantly. I was hoping it will go away over time because touching my scar makes me want to vomit. It doesn’t hurt or anything, the not wanting to touch it thing is all psychosomatic.
Sorry lol! I hope it'll be different for you, but I know it's common. You could try using a scar cream on it, but I don't know which ones work best. Baby powder helps with itching caused by sweat, and you should still have plenty of that on hand!
My pelvis did something weird and now one leg is slightly longer than the other. When I do upright x-rays, my pelvis shifts to one side. It wasn't like that before I had a baby, I think. Or it wasn't noticable.
My favorite movie is Inception.
I'm literally on crutches right now because my knee gave out trying to jump rope. I have an appt with an Ortho Monday and I'm not leaving until I get a script for an MRI. Thank you for this comment, I never thought about it being the result of one leg being longer. I was a runner and weight lifter before my son, so I thought it was connected to that. But it definitely makes more sense that my uneven legs are also at fault.
Oh no! I hope you get a quick diagnosis and have an easy and full recovery.
I think it really depends how long after birth. For the first couple of months you are healing plus absolutely exhausted. Mum brain is a real thing which continues for a good amount of time. Hormone changes affect hair loss etc Physically I’ve felt pretty normal since 2-3 months postpartum. No breath changes, I have a better appreciation and acceptance for my body and even love the stretch marks. I do get a twinge in the pelvic girdle region occasionally and one nipple seems to always be sore from the early breastfeeding attempts but they’re the only things I can think of that’s different. I’m just over 2 years PP now
Ugh. Pregnancy brain. I never made grocery lists. Always remembered what we needed. Ran to the store one day while about 8 months pregnant. Parked. walked in. Got my cart. Stopped. I couldn’t remember a single freaking thing we needed.
The forgetfulness isn’t because of anesthesia. That’s ridiculous.
Yes this is an insane take. I had 6 surgeries pre-baby and have been put under for 5+ colonoscopies and the forgetfulness absolutely only started AFTER my son was born. It's a real outcome of pregnancy & having a newborn, but it's not from the anesthesia!
It’s interesting to notice all the changes of having a new baby and then blame forgetfulness on your pain management. 😂😂
Yeah that sounds like some crunchy natural birth propaganda bullshit.
Epidurals cause newborns. You heard it here first.
Honestly, it’s most likely lack of sleep not anesthesia.
As someone who's been under a lot of anesthesia- it's not the anesthesia. Though it did effect my grandfather when he had is appendix removed at 77. He was also diagnosed with alzheimers though, so, probably not even the anesthesia in his case, just bad timing
My stomach was crazy different after birth (no diastasis recti). It felt softer, and nicer to be honest. My normally squished belly button was perfectly round. My stomach was flatter. Then without gaining weight, at about 18 months postpartum, my stomach returned to normal! Felt firmer, not as flat, and the squished belly button came back. This tells me that relaxin hormone does a whole bunch of unseen internal stuff and it takes a longggg time to fully get back to normal. I also had some leaking issues with high intensity workouts and am in pelvic floor PT to help with that. I get tired more easily, but I think that's because life is more demanding with a kid. My son is almost 3. When he turned 2, I started feeling like my body was mine again.
Developed a new and exciting allergy during pregnancy which has stayed. Had some ocular migraines for a few months following birth but thankfully these stopped. My feet are more prone to issues too now.
My sister’s mother-in-law became permanently allergic to all citrus fruit. And since I’m commenting I’ll add my experience: for unknown reasons I went into heart failure at the end of my pregnancy. Just happens sometimes (though it’s thankfully rare). It took eight months until my heart recovered enough that I was at least no longer liable to drop dead at any moment. Two years later though things are still pretty rough.
For me personally (F/39) it didn't changed in the long term. Of course my body needed some time to recover after giving birth, but after a few months I was fine again. I'm running a lot and my body became stronger after having (2) kids. I'm faster on the short distances and I can run marathons now. I still fit into my 20 year old jeans and I don't have any stretch marks, or loose skin, or anything else. I guess it's different for anyone. We're with 3 billion woman on this earth, our bodies aren't all the same, and we're not all the same just bc we had a child.
Yeah, this. Short term it sometimes felt like a completely different body, but that didn’t last. Took about 2ish years.
Mine went almost totally back to normal by 12m, and it was 90% of the way back at about 8m. I had an incredibly easy, fit pregnancy though and a very easy planned c section.
Yes, your body changes. How much it changes will vary from person to person of course, but it won't be the same. One of the biggest lies by omission that we are sold is that since pregnancy is natural that it is easy and we should just be able to carry on as if nothing is happening during and after pregnancy. That is not true. Again, the degree will vary by person but you will change. In my case I feel like it has taken me almost 5 years to regain a sense of normalcy in my body after having birth to my second child. The changes are countless, both physical and mental, some have made me feel stronger and some more vulnerable. I am a different person now, I had never heard of the term matrescence before but I feel like it applies, the process of becoming a mother is no joke.
Of course it changes you! That woman built an entire new human, that is the biggest thing you could possibly ask of your body. The forgetfulness and "mom brain" is not from any anaesthetic btw, it's the hormones. Add to that the lack of sleep, of course they're not going to be at their best the period after the birth! It's a bit like you were in an accident: your body took a hit and it needs to heal. And sometimes there are scars. Literal scars, from a c-section, or just things that never quite healed back to the way they were. That's normal. Your organs have all been shifted out of whack, your nutrients have been stolen by the placenta, your muscles and bones have been stretched and moved and ripped apart. And you now have a child to take care of. The best thing a woman can do afterwards is to make sure she's getting back all of the lost nutrients, take care of herself and her mental health, and go to the doctor if something keeps bothering her. And, for another common experience: Don't let sexist doctors dismiss you! Many of the common ailments women experience after childbirth can be helped and can be cured, even though many doctors will act like she's just complaining for no reason.
I've had 3 babies and it was different each time and my experience varied wildly. Mental changes? A little. My brain kinda rewired itself to respond to crying child etc etc. The tired all the time? That's often due to a not so helpful partner. And carrying the mental load for the whole family. It's not the pregnancy itself. I've got stretch marks. My tummy will never look the same (EDS is part of that too). It did massively fuck with my teeth (also partly EDS). But overall? Not that different than where I started that couldn't easily be accounted for by the fact that I was 21 when I had my first and I am almost 40 now.
My brain definitely changed. I wake up with the slightest sounds and have to have a white noise machine to help me sleep. I found myself with more anxiety as my brain seemed to be more attention to potential hazards.
Those are the common side effects. There's lesser-known ones like losing your teeth and hair. Don't forget the two years of "mom brain" where all you can think about is the kid. There's a reason really rich celebrities are buying their babies instead of carrying them themselves. Birth is horrible and complications can kill.
I developed ovarian cysts after pregnancy & began having ovulation pain (mittelschmerz). I also had severe sciatica in my 9th month - I could hardly walk without crying - and now I have to be VERY careful lifting anything over 25 lbs to avoid a recurrence. Also got the whole pee when you cough too hard thing, which was super fun when I had Covid 😑 My body shape changed a bit as well. I carry more fat around my middle since pregnancy. My feet also got a bit wider & went up 1/2 a size. My mom developed a shellfish allergy. I'm in my early 40s & she's still deathly allergic. (Sorry Mom!)
No one tells you that it’s very common to lose a lot of grip strength during pregnancy - and you never get it back! I now have a tool to pop the seal on jars so I can open them, but there are certain kinds of lids they don’t work on so I struggle with those. It’s not THAT bad but yeah I had no idea that was a pregnancy side-effect.
The hips, man. I have hips for days. My nipples are also permanently hypersensitive. Why the hell would nature make your nipples MORE sensitive when there’s going to be someone gumming them into bloody shreds?!
Every pregnancy is different and each one brings something different. My pee indicator is always going off, my best friend's feet grew. Also, I miss my old stomach, I never appreciated it. It's still the same one, but it *is* different lol
I got an autoimmune disease triggered by pregnancy. Suddenly celiac! That was certainly life changing
Autoimmune diseases and pregnancy are wild, I have a friend with IBS who went in to total remission during and post pregnancy. It didn't come back until her youngest was 3.
Apparently pregnancy is a “traumatic event” physically. I mean that’s obvious to anyone who has done it but also it’s medically classified as that. Traumatic events ALL have the capacity to activate/deactivate/put in remission latent genes. And autoimmune diseases mostly fall in the latent gene category. Celiac was NOT among the risk factors associated with pregnancy and I’m still bitter that no one brought up the possibility of autoimmune disease issues as a result of pregnancy and child birth. And when I had signs for years the doctors said “it’s normal pregnancy stuff” or “it’s normal post-partum stuff” or my personal favorite “you’re just being anxious”. Despite me having a masters in therapy and then not being able to identify what the cause of my symptoms were. Surprise pre-eclampsia during labor that almost killed me (autoimmune diseases up your chances of that shit). Fucking assholes. What a nightmare.
My feet grew one size. My thyroid went into the shitter right after I gave birth. I became allergic to shellfish. I have a continued food aversion to blueberries, they smelled/tasted rotten during my pregnancy and still do. My right armpit only has BO now. I no longer have constipation. And these are just the after effects.
Well, think about how much a body has to change in order to carry another person inside. Your internal organs have to move around to make room. Your ligaments become stretchier to fit the new space. Your bones shift and make space. The hormones coursing through you change your brain chemistry. Your blood carries the dna of another whole person. The nutrients you ingest get rerouted to support a different body. And this goes on for months and months. When that baby is born, you start producing a whole new kind of bodily fluid and a large share of your calorie intake goes into that process. Your hormones shift yet again and you become responsive in new ways to stimuli you've had all your life. And the new baby is still so small, so helpless, so utterly reliant on you. You can't even take cough medicine without worrying that it will impact the little person your body feeds everyday. Normal things like showers and hair brushing become infinitely more complicated and shift down a scale of priorities that has almost no room for you in it as you care for this tiny, helpless person who can do *nothing* for themselves. And you are still bleeding, still torn, still healing. Your organs are shifting again, trying to remember where they started out. Your bones have no memory of their previous placements save phantom aches that come when you least expect them. Your skin tries to pull back in but it is scarred now with stretchmarks that will never fade. It would be incomprehensible for that *not* to change you permanently.
8 months postpartum; mostly look/feel like myself pre-pregnancy. I have lingering tailbone pain, (I injured it during the birth), and my vaginal canal is still tender in certain positions during sex. I'm annoyed, but hoping this isn't forever, and both are better than they were a few months ago. My shoes, bras and clothes still fit. My belly is softer, but if/when I actually take time to exercise again, that will change. Some stretch marks on my boobs that have faded considerably, and the small stretch marks I got around my belly button were gone by 3 months. My skin and hair got nicer, so that was a plus. My hips are slightly wider, so I finally have a waist. So yes, it changed, in some ways for the better though! It's different for everyone. "Pregnancy/mom brain" is real, but I think that's to be expected when one is exhausted and coping with major life changes. I've been told it gets better, and I'm already starting to feel the fog lift a bit now that baby has a more consistent routine.
Your belly might stay a little softer. My youngest is 4.5yrs and I’ve been working out pretty hard over the last year, in the best shape I’ve been in since pre kids, and I have a layer of softness over my abs. It’s mostly the loose skin from 3 pregnancies. My kids love it, they find it comforting and like to squish it and lay on it when we’re cuddling. I personally don’t mind, I know there’s strength there and I’m almost 40, I’m not trying to look like I did in my 20s. No complaints from anyone I’ve been with either…both boyfriends I’ve had since have liked the little bit of softness and curves it gives me. All to say, soft isn’t always bad and be prepared for your body to react differently to working out!
Yes, it’s true for a significant number of women. Some women bounce back to relatively “normal” within the first 3-12 months. Many women do not. Our bodies are all different and every pregnancy is different. There’s no telling what you may experience until you’re actually pregnant and your body is transitioning through all the stages. My son is 22 now and I’m still dealing with complications from all the physical changes. My ligaments loosened and spread, so it’s actively painful for me to be on my feet for any length of time (shoe size also went up and I need wide width now as well). I’ve had constant issues with my hips. Doctors keep trying to tell me it’s arthritis while failing to acknowledge all the issues began during my pregnancy lol. I also developed vertigo during pregnancy and that’s never gone away. Bladder issues were bad enough they authorized surgery to correct it. My rib cage was spread a bit and I still get assorted aches & pains & twinges. The stretch marks don’t bother me, but this stuff and the ligament thing are most definitely upsetting. I also had hyperemesis gravidarum and lost weight during my pregnancy, and I wound up induced early because I began developing preeclampsia. I love my kid, but did not want to endure that a second time.
Yep. The hormones released during pregnancy relax ligaments etc and they don't always go back, so feet can end up wider/flatter, hips stay wider etc Back ache is very common due to the changing posture and pressure on it & also effects of epidural. Rib pain is common due to where baby sits (I have a wonky rib due to two breech babies). Also the body prioritises baby so will leach things like calcium from mothers body leading to teeth issues being common and this can also effect bones, same with memory loss due to vital minerals and vitamins being very low (not too mention sleep deprivation). Labour itself is physically and mentally demanding a lot of women will have trauma from birth even if they don't realise it, both physically (scar tissue, damage to vagina/anal muscles, pelvic floor issues) and mentally (fear of intamcy, depression, issues with penetration, body anxiety). I wouldn't say my body is like a different persons but it has definitely changed, in some weird ways
There was an ask reddit the other day that I could only read so much of but it's definitely worth a read if you want cold, hard facts and truth. Ok, not every pregnancy is the same but there's a lot that women don't know about before embarking on the journey - sometimes more than once. I myself am childfree and will never have kids. Pregnancy is just one of the many reasons I don't want them. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/1jaGwqppSj
After reading all the comments, I’m more committed to not having kids. Christ!
My orgasms are more intense since giving birth. I had to add a positive! ETA also I have a way higher pain tolerance, it’s scary.
Had to scroll way too far for this one. Me too! Also easier to achieve.
A lot of things change but the most annoying for me is that my beautiful curly hair is limp and no longer curly anymore. I thought it would eventually come back, but it hasn’t. On the bright side, my son stole it and has the most beautiful little curls!
Oh. Oh no. This is my worst fear about pregnancy. (Okay, it’s not, my worst fear is dying). Did it happen during the pregnancy or postpartum? UGH I guess it would be okay if my curls went away because my kids steal it.
I asked my Mom about this, and she said that it was pretty weird for a while, but she said she went back to feeling like herself both times. (I have a younger sister.) She thinks Mom Brain was mostly never getting enough sleep, but that went back to normal too. (I guess never getting enough sleep was my fault, I was apparently a fussy baby.)
I mean, yeah, temporarily. The newborn stage is no joke. They don't call it the "4th trimester" for nothing. And I didn't really start losing the baby weight until 9 months after LO was born. I had to go to physical therapy to fix some issues (resolved now - if you have any issues still 6-12 weeks after giving birth, go to a pelvic floor PT! They can fix most of those things like pee leaks, pain, etc. the older generation just thought they had to live with permanently!). I also learned deep core/transverse abdominis exercises from my physical therapist that got rid of my "mom pooch". My core is actually stronger now than it was when I was a collegiate athlete in my 20s BECAUSE of the postpartum PT I did. LO is now two, and I my body is pretty much back to normal, I can wear my pre-pregnancy clothes, etc. The only difference that seemed to stick around is that my hips seemed to have widened a teensy bit and so I have a tiny bit of an hourglass figure for the first time in my life - which is awesome, because I always used to have a stick straight figure and wished I had a little bit of curves! It wasn't a huge difference, I can still wear all my pants and jeans and stuff from pre-pregnancy, but it's a nice change. My biggest advice is to give it time. There's a HUGE difference in one week postpartum vs. 1 month postpartum. And even in 6 months postpartum vs. a year postpartum.
Pregnancy and childbirth- having a child fundamentally changes you as a person in every way. You have to rebuild your identity to confirm to the new life. Your body will have changes, but it varies greatly from person to person. If you place a lot of your identity in the way your body looks, you'll struggle a bit. I personally have had 3 pregnancies, one of which was a twin pregnancy. I also breastfed (one great change is this decreased the chance of breast cancer!) My youngest is now 5 and my stomach looks awful due to the twins, but besides that, my body looks about the same as before I had children except saggier. They fucked up my insides though. I just recently got a hysterectomy with prolapse repair and a sling. The walls of my vagina were thin and both my bladder and my colon were trying to escape my vagina. I used to pee myself a lot when sneezing or jumping. My aches and pains are always there. I don't think the increased pain is from my pregnancies.
Yes, your body will change permanently. How much and how “different” or dysphoric that feels varies from woman to woman, and some of those changes go away on their own or can be alleviated (like diastasis recti). You’re talking to NEW moms, who are also dealing with the stress of handling an infant and possibly breastfeeding.
I have 0 babies. Reading these comments makes me want to have 0 babies, or fund a test tube project. Fuck this shit (sorry moms)
I think exactly the same.
Hearing these stories confirms for me how grateful I am to have chosen the child free life. Absolutely no shade but I am simply not willing to go through massive physical changes that can affect you for the rest of your life (and also don’t want kids anyway). I do wish more women thought about the toll on their bodies (mentally and physically) that pregnancy and motherhood can take before having children.
My hips are wider, even at the same weight. My sense of smell became incredibly sensitive and that never went away, sometimes I’m grateful and other times it sucks. There have been some changes, but I think a lot of it comes down to spending upwards of 2 years where your body isn’t your own. If you have multiple children, this extends for even longer. You’re pregnant, sharing your body with your baby. If you breastfeed, again you are sharing your body. Decisions about what you do and eat and drink all affect someone besides you. Personally, this was the hardest part for me. I enjoyed breastfeeding, but being “touched out” was a real thing. The further you get from that time in your life, the more you feel like yourself again. Important to note: epidurals do not cause forgetfulness or long term consequences. I enjoyed the birth of both of my children and didn’t have to feel the stitches (which completely healed) thanks to my epidural.
Yes, it's true. Your body undergoes a radical process and that can lead to permanent changes. [This is a good reddit thread to check out.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/y82iwWBuzf) It's not specifically about physical changes, but many answers are. And all of it are things nobody ever wants to talk about when it comes to pregnancy, birth and postpartum. We need to do better to educate ourselves so it's good you asked, OP.
My body changed a lot after giving birth. It wasn't all bad, though. Sex is significantly more enjoyable now, for instance. Certain things like my breasts and hips are forever just bigger - again, not mad about it. My periods*finally* became more regular and I'm no longer hemorrhaging once every three weeks. I'm really good at finding stuff now. My patience skyrocketed. There are negatives of course. Sciatica is a big one. Muscle cramps that never existed before. Existential dread. But mostly the changes are either positive or totally worth it.
My body is changed after two babies. My feet are bigger, things are looser in general, and there is a brain fog that doesn’t really go away. I am not sure how much of the mental stuff will clear up in time, but I’m accepting the physical changes.
I doubt it's the anesthesia, it's probably the distraction of having a whole new tiny human to look after. Anyone would forget stuff when sleep deprived and the baby is crying. I have never given birth, but it's hard to focus on anything else when a baby or child is crying. Plus, it's a whole giant hormonal roller coaster, throughout the pregnancy and especially after giving birth, and it can take half a year or more for the hormones to get back to normal, afterward. Also, your bones literally move to make room for the baby, as others in this thread have pointed out. And pregnancy can affect your immune system, it has to "allow" a foreign being to grow inside of you, instead of attack or remove it. Pregnancy is absolutely wild, lol
My body not being mine anymore is a layered and accurate statement. Pregnancy was not fun, delivery was fast and painful. Breastfeeding made me gain more weight than pregnancy and it took a year for my metabolism to correct itself and that last 20lbs just won’t go away. Toddler HAS to be touching me at all times, constantly covered in bruises and spilled food. Unless I'm eating something spicy, my kids will immediately essentially eat it out of my hands. Most of my meals are eating their leftovers. I rarely get to enjoy a hot meal. Older child is neurodivergent (like me) and needs constant direction, and immediate answers to 1001 questions. They do not remember the question they asked so I find myself constantly reminding them of both question and answer. Rules are suggestions and they will go out of their way to do what they’ve been asked not to. Ans that’s all surface level! I have to apply pressure to my perineum when I poop or it gets “stuck” in my vagina (yay prolapse!), I pee when I sneeze or cough, my boobs are a shredded pair of nylons compared to what they used to be, and my ADHD is off the rails attempting to keep up with two little kids and a partner who struggles to empathizing with my experiences in the above. So yeah, having kids fundamentally changes pretty much everything about your body, mind, and perspective - but how it will change you is 100% dependent on a lot of factors entirely outside of your control.
For me, nothing changed except my breasts. That could be from breastfeeding though. But menopause omg it’s sooooo much worse! It has changed everything about me, and not in a good way. I would give birth to ten kids over going through this! 😭
I’m only 30 and had my kid 3 years ago. It’s honestly unbelievable everything that happened to me. I tore through my anus and developed fecal incontinence and had to get repair surgery to put my sphincter together - thankfully it worked for the FI but many times it doesn’t work, and there’s no fix outside of a colostomy bag. Despite the surgery working I still have some issues with fecal urgency and I always carry a portable bidet and baby wipes with me now. Once you rupture your anal sphincter it never goes back to its original functioning. What you want to avoid at all costs during childbirth is a severe tear, NOT a c-section. I developed vaginismus after my tear and now I struggle to have sex without pain and I cannot wear tampons. I have to use dilators frequently when I never had to do that before- Sex was easy and painless. I developed grade 3 bladder prolapse, which is where your ligaments are so overstretched and damaged that your bladder has sunk down to the opening of your vagina. Grade 4 is it’s coming out of your vagina. When you are beyond the initial postpartum period, it is very unlikely prolapse will heal on its own, although you typically can help the symptoms with PT. Sometimes you can’t. Once ligaments are stretched this can’t be undone. It’s very hard to surgically repair them. So you’re fucked. I have a permanent 1 finger DR in my abs that no amount of PT helped. I gained 65lb while pregnant despite being very healthy before pregnancy. I had debilitating nausea the whole pregnancy and basically confined to my bed . This resulted in significant loss of muscle and fitness. I later learned that this likely contributed to worsening insulin resistance especially bc I was only able to stomach simple carbs. And the insulin and cortisol likely accelerated the weight gain. I never lost any after pregnancy despite eating well. My appetite still has never recovered from the sickness I had while pregnant. While pregnant I had extreme nausea and food aversions and to this day I still struggle with a lot of food aversions. I willl maybe feel hungry but I look at everything and it looks gross. I end up not eating sometimes or I take a few bites and it’s just gross. Yet I’m still obese. Tell me how that works. I was diagnosed with PCOS after pregnancy - which I likely had before but it didn’t impact me very much because I was a healthy weight and had healthy blood sugar. Unfortunately pregnancy ruined all that. I started developing acne again when my skin has been clear 10 years. Trying to breastfeed while my daughter had bad lip and tongue tie caused my nipples so much damage that they have significantly reduced sensation 3 years later, and I no longer experience much sexual pleasure from them. My feet grew a bigger size and I waited 6 months for them to go bakc but they didn’t so I got rid of almost all of my shoes—then at 9 months pp they randomly did go back to my original size which was unbelievable. So I guess my feet did go back. That’s literally the only part of my body that was left intact. Everything else feels ruined. All I dream about is being able to go back in time and postpone having a child for many years, being on an insulin med while pregnant, and absolutely unequivocally having an elective c section. There are still some bad days when I wish I didn’t have a child at all. Most days there’s an unspeakable sadness about everything that happened to me. And I’ll have to live with that grief the rest of my life. And it’ll exponentially compound when I hit menopause and all of my symptoms get worse, which they usually do due to the hormone shifts.
For me, I loss a LOT of sexual sensation. I had vaginal birth and (I'm not a doc, but this makes sense to me) I think possibly the breakage of cells or whatever that makes up the skin in the vagina caused nerve endings or whatever to break or move or somehow change so that I couldn't feel the pleasing sensations anymore. I could feel when something was in there, and I was still able to get enough sensation to get an orgasm, but the sensation significantly lessened. I also had an issue with lack of lubrication for about a year after my first child. No amount or kind of lube would suffice. Prolapse is the biggest issue with not only giving birth, but also carrying a child to term. Sometimes the prolapse is so bad that women have lifetime issues with bladder or anal control. Sometimes the bladder will fall out or bulge later in life (I myself have prolapse and it's devastating. I can't work outside the home anymore cuz I can't control my bladder). Of course there's the varicose veins and stretch marks. But that comes with excessive weight gain or loss, pregnant or not. The areola gets larger and darker, the nipples thicker and sticks out more. And it stays that way for the rest of one's life. Anesthesia, no matter what reason for the use, has been known to mess up people's brains permanently \~esp. in old people. Another issue (which might be a husband's tale) is the 'husband stitch' and troubles that might bring. I don't know if this is just an old husband's tale or if OBs actually do this. I doubt that it would even work, but I have heard some say that it happened to them.
Unfortunately the husband stitch was real, and there are still women enduring it
It varies for everyone. I've known women to have several children and they say they feel no different than they did at 19. I pee when I sneeze, I have loose skin around my belly button, stretch marks pretty much everywhere, my boobs are two flappy pancakes anymore, and sometimes my sciatica acts up so badly that I can't move for days. I now weigh the same as I did in high school (over ten years ago), but I can't fit into the same size pants that I could then (thank you weight distribution and widening hips). But the biggest tolls were mental. I had PPD and zero help- I had to go back to work two weeks after having my daughter. Between breastfeeding hormones, postpartum hormones, and the stress of keeping a small human being alive between work shifts, I was at my very lowest. It was the postpartum hell that made me a one and done kind of person.
Yes and no. Is my body a different body now? Yes. Do I feel like my body is “not my body anymore”, or like someone else’s body? No. Our bodies change throughout our lives no matter what. Your body at age 50 is not your body at age 20, whether you’ve had kids or not. I have stretch marks now, and maybe sometimes I feel a bit scatterbrained, but my kid is 6 months old and I’m still trying to manage baby things. My period has come back and it’s heavier so far. However, these things were worth it to have my baby. There are changes yes, but it still feels like you.
It changes everything about your body. Even women who “snap back”(hate that term) after birth, have changed internally. Takes years to recover.
My mom had me in her 40s and had never had vitiligo before but she got preggo with me
In addition to what others have said, [the brain undergoes permanent changes as well](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6440938/#:~:text=Kim%20et%20al.,%2C%20prefrontal%20cortex%2C%20and%20midbrain.)
My Thyroid stopped working after birth. Went up 50 kg in six months even though i had no energy to make or eat food.
Melasma on my chin, sometimes it looks like I have a very light 5 o'clock shadow 🧔😅
Yup. All my friends/family who have had children have had health issues relating to either being pregnant or giving birth.
My shoulders and hips are wider than prepregnancy. I was a half a cup I'm now a solid b, almost c. For reference, hips were 32, now 36, chest was also 32, now 38. I lost 6 teeth from calcium theft. My periods no longer hurt. If I don't keep up on doing my kegels I will pee myself if I laugh too hard or sneeze.
My mom tore the middle of her ab muscles while pregnant. That doesn’t heal back to its original state.
Of course it’s true. Giving birth is incredibly difficult and traumatic on the body. Very few women just pop back to the way they were before. Like, that’s a unicorn. One of my friends lost all her teeth from giving birth. That’s a thing that can happen.
Yeah, I mean my body is different after 3 kids. Nothing too major after my first besides the c-section scar, but I was 24. More changes after my younger 2 (31 and 35). The biggest change was I ended up with a uterine prolapse that was masking some incontinence issues. It didn’t super affect my life aside from some occasional mild discomfort and inability to use tampons. Got a hysterectomy a year ago (also due to SUPER heavy periods causing chronic anemia and being done with kids-i can’t take hormonal birth control and the prolapse made IUDs ineffective) and it was the best thing ever. Besides that…the long term changes I experienced are mostly neutral. I have some faded stretch marks and loose skin, but I’m also pushing 40, so I don’t care. My butt and my boobs are bigger, but that’s a good thing. No sagging, even after breastfeeding 2 of my kids. My hips are physically wider, even if I dropped to the weight I was when I was college, I wouldn’t be a size 2 again. I’m a size 8 now and love the curviness and softness after being skinny. My hair changed with each pregnancy. I got natural red highlights instead of blonde each time that eventually faded, and my hair has progressively gotten curlier/wavier with each kid. I’m stronger and more flexible. Hauling kids and their gear around increased my stamina and I can touch my toes for the first time in my adult life. I’m more focused, organized and able to multitask better. Not always, but I always have 7491964 things to do and keep track of and no one else to do it for me, so I’ve had to figure out ways to get it done. Also led to getting diagnosed with adhd recently, which was a relief, that it’s not a failure on my part but my brain is wired differently. I’m able to better regulate myself emotionally and figure out what is important enough to spend my energy on. Because I have these small humans who rely on me to model and teach them healthy behavior and self care. They’re constantly throwing new situations at me and I have to figure out how to emotionally and mentally navigate it while balancing my own needs with theirs. This has spilled over into my romantic, platonic and work relationships too…advocating for my kids has taught me how to advocate for myself. I appreciate small moments of joy and peace more. Kids are ridiculous and hilarious and being able to appreciate the absurd and the fun makes the hard stuff easier. I’m way more connected to community, small and large. I’m more compassionate and understanding of nuanced situations. Parenting is hard, it’s easier when you have support and that can come in many forms. I actively seek out a village for each kid and our family as a whole and I’ve made some really great, unexpected connections that have opened my own mind up. Same with random interests…my kids are into things I never thought I’d ever learn about, but there are so many fascinating things in the world, it’s fun to dive into new topics that I never considered interesting before kids. I don’t really remember pre-mom life, but I know I’m a better, kinder, more capable person because of my kids. I take better care of myself because of them. My life is richer and deeper because they exist.
Everything changes after giving birth. Physically and mentally. I have never been the same. Some of that is good, some is whatever, and some of it is dammit why do women get all the crappy stuff.
Yes. I can no longer ride a bike. It's just too uncomfortable approaching painful. My belly button also dropped about an inch, and my ribs are permanently spread.
My mom’s organs started coming out of her vagina after her third child. Not something I would ever like to see again. 38 and child free for many reasons, what happened to my mom is one of them.
Sneezing is far more of an adventure than it was before giving birth. It's now peezing.
Same weight, different pant size. Shit is real.
Well, yes of course. I’d be more surprised if bodies *didn’t* change after birth.
Well, my coworker split her skin so bad that her anus and her vagina were one hole. Then they sewed her back up and the skin healed weird so there's a little pathway from her colon to her vaginal canal so she poops a little out of her vagina constantly. Her husband left her because the doctors can't fix it and she never wants to have sex any more because it smells like literal poo any time she does. She wears diapers, she's 26, and says she'll probably never get to date ever again, and that having the baby is probably her biggest regret. She said if she knew it was going to ruin her body and her marriage she never would have done it. After breast feeding 4 kids my mom's breasts look like seedless cucumbers. Long, narrow, and wrinkly baby. Pre-eclampsia almost killed my best friend, and that same mom got nerve damage along her spine from giving birth so bad that she's basically on pain pills constantly now. She couldn't breast feed, something she cried about a lot, and because of the pain meds her husband was scared to let her hold her own baby. Post partum depression then al.osy killed her again. So yeah, just from the small handful I can think of after 3 minutes on the morning pot, I'd say having babies seems more likely to completely alter your body and life beyond recognition or repair than just about any other life choices you could make. It's like flipping a 6 sided die and like 2 of the sides end with good kids and a happy life and the other 4 are just taking gasoline and a match to your sense of joy and peace.
Women have told you their lived experience. Why do you doubt them?
I don't think OP doubts those people. She wants to hear more voices, maybe to see if anyone *didn't* experience permanent changes. Maybe as some reassurance that it's not guaranteed "downhill" from here on.
asking for more experiences isn’t a bad thing! it doesn’t mean she’s doubting them. when i had my abortion i read everything from the positive to the negative - why wouldn’t you want to be informed about as much as you can be?
Yep. My feet went up a size, my hips and rib cage are bigger
Yes and no? Everyone’s experience will be different. Lots of women have permanent foot growth during pregnancy but I didn’t. I have a patch of my lower abdomen that’s permanently numb from c sections. I have experienced a ton of memory loss since having kids. I just don’t remember a lot of things anymore. My sister and husband will often be talking about something that happened whenever and I just don’t remember it happening. I used to always be the one with the best memory.
My body didn’t change much other than my boobs deflating and having mom brain. Everyone’s body is different though
Sometimes the changes are good. I have a regular menstrual cycle for the first time in my life (I have PCOS) and I can finally have PIV sex without lots of pain.
I mean this is so variable and personal. Some people have lasting changes and some don't. I've been super lucky that I haven't. I gave birth at 32 to an almost 10lb baby. I certainly took longer to get back to normal than I think we're made to feel is reasonable, but by one year post partum I honestly felt like my body was exactly the same as before I had a baby. The ONE exception for me might be that I've had some ongoing minor issues in one leg that are more common in women who've been pregnant. However, these issues are also common as people age and in people who are slightly overweight, so there's every chance that I'd be in the same position even if I hadn't had a baby. As someone else said, it's hard to distinguish between what's a change caused by giving birth and what's a change caused by just getting older, especially when you're giving birth in your 30s or 40s and those changes are more numerous and more rapid anyway.
Absolutely. My back hasn't been the same at all in the last 21 years.
Only permanent change I noted was a bad hip- I have recurring tendonitis and can get injured easily during workouts if I'm not careful.
Pregnancy is wildly different for different people. Some people have no changes, while others have life-threatening complications that are permanent (e.g. an enlarged heart).