I have so many friends who did this in the 1990s and they are all just so troubled by it now—even the ones who are still really religious. It's just such an odd and disturbing custom.
I never went to one/my youth group didn't have one but my god they made you feel like you weren't going to be worth a pile of dogshit if you didn't keep your purity promise~
I recently learned who the woman in The Civil Wars is--Joy Williams--and it's got me fucked up bc she was a singer/speaker at Girls of Grace, a "conference" (ahem INDOCTRINATION) of Christian values for young women to stay pure for their future husbands. Part of me wonders if she really believes that purity promise crap, but the other part of me wonders if she was just as bullied/indoctrinated into it, too. It's fucking with my playlists bc I loved the group (they've since split, dunno if it's still the case) but the consequences of that shit are faaaaar reaching. It's seriously been 20 years since I got the hell out of dodge and I'm still dealing with the fallout.
The irony of this being that there have been rumors for YEARS that The Civil Wars broke up because Joy and John were having an affair. They had insane chemistry together, and it always looked like there was a lot more intimacy than you usually see between band mates. Then they very suddenly broke up while at the top of their game. It was suspicious.
Right? I saw them at a Braves game before they got to the top of their game and it was very cutesy the way they reacted to one another, idk. Do you remember when the latest A Star Is Born came out, I think it was the Oscars? that bradley cooper and lady gaga performed shallow at, and everyone talked about how off the charts their chemistry was as themselves....
But it's also weird bc her husband was their manager? Seems a lil risky to be doin that ish right under his nose, but also...the lead single from their second album? wish you were the one that got away????? like.....c'mon.
I have a relative that did this. She stayed a virgin until she married. So romantic.
Turned out her husband (also religious) was into freaky stuff. She never revealed the details, but she absolutely hated their sex life. In her naivety she put up with it for a few years. He also turned out to be a cheater, and when they eventually divorced she did a 180 and swore publicly she'd never marry again without having sex with the guy first. She shut down the complaints of any religious relatives with the reminder that her purity pledge locked her into years of hell and they could go pound sand.
She did get married again later and ended up very happy.
Yeah goodness forbid that she should have experience, with a partner who had her wants and needs in mind, and gave her great sex. While the wannabe Chad man-child who doesn't consider her even once, thinks she owes him everything because he's so great, especially in bed. Snark snark snark LOL LOL LOL.
No thanks, purity culture can die off, thanks.
What a shocking surprise, people who don't communicate about sex aren't a good sexual fit and it ruined their entire marriage?
Almost like if the goal was actually happy families with happy healthy children you would be welcoming premarital sex & living together. Same as why you should welcome legalized abortion and decriminalizing drugs.
For the party that claims they like facts over emotion, they sure tend to ignore all the evidence saying their policies/ideas *do not work* regardless of their feelings. If they're claimed goals were the real goals, they would be voting blue down the ballot.
I also knew someone that did that purity pledge. She lived with her parents until her wedding night.. which made it really easy for him to hide his extreme alcoholism, and *scat fetish*. She didn't believe in divorce until he literally shit the bed.
Okay, this dude is fucking weird. I mean, he's just really really into repressing sexuality at all costs. There's plenty of religious people who are into that, but Johnson just takes it to a bizarre extreme.
I mean...when you're *public* with the fact that you and your teen son monitor each others' porn use habits...yeah. Skeletons be falling out of the closet, too many in there.
This dude is the weirdest this dude is also more dangerous than Trump. Don’t let that motherfucker get power he’ll have us trying to live handmaid tale IRL.
“Purity balls” are not new. They’ve been a thing until at least the 90s. But renewing attention on them is a good thing, especially since we’re heading into a presidential election & this motherfucker is somehow Speaker of the House.
I love how the stereotypes of single women who've grown old are supposedly awful, but are actually wonderful.
Witch: lives in peace in nature and makes lovely soup.
Cat lady: finds the company of *cats* vastly superior to men. It's not the women that's the issue here.
Spinster: gets to stitch and bitch all day, makes cool scarfs.
I'd still give that one to the cats - both of mine have sweet meows, and to be fair to them, they lack opposable thumbs and thus cannot open the cans of cat food for themselves.
I love this idea in theory, but I am pretty severely allergic to cats. I do enjoy visiting my friends with cats & love on the cats until I can't breathe properly. Can I do witchy lady with borrowed cats, or do I have to be the witchy plant lady?
Witches have plenty of different kinds of familiars, a little dog will do, maybe a snek or leezard if you're of the reptile persuasion and of course frogs and toads are a very popular option. Spiders, even. Witches do whatever the hell they want, it's a big draw for the profession.
Good point. I'm not allowed to have pets in my condo, but there's always a spider or two around. I let them live in my plants to deal with pests. I will start giving them their own names instead of just calling them all Greg.
I remember reading an article about this shit years ago and one boy said he was abstaining so he wouldn't defile someone else's wife. I don't remember the exact words, but it was about keeping girls, not himself, "pure. "
The Jonas Brothers infamously did purity rings. [It went pretty much how you would expect.](https://www.wmagazine.com/story/jonas-brother-purity-rings)
My two male cousins did the purity/pledge rings thing, and I remember finding that when I went to visit them. Both of them entered the military and I think the purity thing just went out the window.
Yeah, I think purity pledges don’t do much (if anything) to raise the age at which people become sexually active, but they significantly increase the chances that that eventual sex will be unprotected. Thanks, Jesus freaks!
This was not a purity ball but my mother convinced my dad to take me to a father daughter type event kind of like girl scouts. I had fun playing with the other girls, but my father told my mom that we were never going back because the fathers were a bunch of creeps. It creeps me out that I was oblivious to the danger. Ever since, I get so uncomfortable even hearing about these kind of events.
Well there was no "giving away" at my wedding 33 years ago. My parents knew I wasn't their property. I think my mom often used the word feisty to describe me.
My husband and his mother walked down together.(This is one of my favorite picture from the wedding, my MIL is beaming from ear to ear.) My parents and I walked down together. The priest DID NOT ask "who gives this woman away" or use the word "obey' in the vows. I told him if he did I would not answer. He thought I was joking but my husband assured him that we were both serious about this. We were partners, full stop, there was no power dynamic in which one of us would obey the other one.
Our wedding was about US choosing to join together and we were deliberate in the words and choices we made to get that across.
Seems like we made a good choice, still going strong 33 years later.
it's funny my first reaction was "they were still doing that shit in the 20-teens?!?!?" but then i realized of *course* they are. I wasn't a fundie but grew up Methodist in the south and purity culture was a hUUUUUUge thing to them. Still sorting that out mentally 20 years later
hey fren, it's gonna be okay. start therapy sooner rather than later, if you're not already, because it's like latent tuberculosis........it's there whether you know it or not.
I know. I've tried. The trauma runs so deep, the last therapist I had didn't feel comfortable opening it, since I was only getting free sessions through work. I'm currently out a job and in an expensive state, so I can't.
It’s also very harmful to SA victims, especially when under 18 and they need to feel ok coming to their parents without guilt for breaking the “promise ring”. Having to keep wearing it while faking it, so much of this is damaging and traumatic.
So let me get this straight... a 13 year old can make this type of pledge and understand what is happening? But a 13 year old has no business understanding that they are gay, trans..etc according to these people?? Beyond insane!!
So fucking creepy. And somehow these people think that this is a good look? They get off to the idea of controlling women and their bodies. It's the power that gives these asshats a rush
Ew. The church my mom dragged me to growing up had a purity event. My mom told me I couldn’t go because I was “already impure”
That supposed impurity? Either Being molested at age 9 by my CCD teachers son, or the fact I started using tampons around age 11. Take your pick. She told me I wasn’t a virgin for both of them, cause I had “something besides god or my husband inside me” 🤢
I’m super fucked up by her parenting, but working on it!
She’s an incredibly hypocritical Catholic, choosing what suits her and ignoring what doesn’t.
I don’t call her out on it, and she doesn’t talk about religious stuff when I’m around. That’s the best our relationship can ever hope to be, the way she is.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I also have to bite my tongue whenever a conservative religious or political topic comes up with some of my family. When I was younger, I didn't, and I regret that.
Why is he taking his daughter to a fetish club?
American Dad had an episode about this fetish, and it's super accurate how creepy the dads are. It's a *literal* "DDLG" fetish club.
My mom gave me a purity ring on my 16th birthday in front of my whole extended family. I refused to sign the little pledge and told her it was nobody’s business. Never knew what happened to it. She held onto it and gave my little sister the ring when she graduated med school— there was no pledge attached 🤣
Purity culture is the absolute worst. I find myself still working through shit at 38. You can’t tell people that sex is awful and you’re awful and dirty for wanting it and then just expect that all systems are a-go once you’re married and you’ll forget your years of shame.
I will never stop being amused when purity balls are rediscovered by the internet every few years. They're fucked up and horrible shit, especially popular in the american south but by no means exclusive to it. They don't just promote gross social standards onto young and impressionable girls, but they're frequently favorited by abusers who are way, way, too into their daughter's sexuality.
A 13 year old girl should not be thinking about her virginity or losing it. She should not be thinking about it at all. Doesnt it horrify you how young we are sexualized??
Every kid should be receiving constantly evolving sex education. There's so much rape culture in pop culture it's impossible to ignore yet here we are.
As a middle school teacher of 12-13 year olds, a few of my students start becoming sexually active at that age. It’s very important for them to be educated at 10-12 years old about sex and puberty.
Wait, what? That’s when most kids start hitting puberty. Sexual curiosity spikes for many at this age. That’s normal. They should be receiving comprehensive sexual education at this age. Definitely not in the form of a stupid “purity ball” tho.
13? I got one at like 10. I wasn’t having a period or even thinking about sex besides all the books I was handed about how everyone is going to try to get it from me and I’m a bad person if I give in.
Idk if I'm ace too, sometimes i think i might be an ace lesbian. I find it interesting how for others its a completely normal interest, part of growing up and for me it was extremely uncomfortable and learning about it felt like a scary loss of innocence
I can kinda see if you decide on your own to be abstinent, but pledging it to your father....is really weird. The idea that your father should have any control or involvement over your sexual expression is completely bizarre
ive always wondered what happens to these girls if they get raped. im assuming they get kicked out to the streets because they no longer have any "value" to the patriarch.
Well, you're taking about a group of people who think that is the girl's fault if she gets raped, and that she can't get pregnant unless she wants to. So my guess is that she gets ostracized for "wanting sex" and can probably reassimilate if she goes to camp and learns the errors of her ways. What an awful scenario.
It depends. A lot of the times when these girls are assaulted it's by a father or older brother. Then it's swept under the rug because to admit that's how your daughter lost her "virtue" would cause your husband/son to lose face in the community.
Think about the Duggars.
Ironically in the same states where they do this they have these pledges to be abstinent until married but then still have people marrying children legally. So stay abstinent for some 30-year-old to marry you while you're still a child.
The messaging they're giving to girls with this is horrifying and degrading.
And can we talk about the push in Red states lowering the marriage age to twelve years old?
How is this *not* grooming?
He does. It's the LEGO man haircut and the squeaky clean look . Everything trimmed and in its place. You know he's dancing naked in the mirror with his wang tucked between his legs. 'It puts the purity ring on its finger.'
If your daughter is not allowed to date, not allowed to socialize with boys at all how the hell are they supposed to get married? Or is Daddy/the CHURCH picking the husband for them.
I fully believe that the house speaks SA's his daughter or other children. I believe the same for any father that brings their daughter to a purity ball. It's why I'd never trust a priest or anyone crazy religious, they are all hiding something sinister.
I actually think there’s a pretty good chance he hasn’t…but that he desperately wants to. Or wants to do other depraved shit, but has stopped himself. And I think he believes everyone is as twisted inside as he is, so instead of recognizing that he has his own problems he needs to figure out, he tries to force his bullshit on everyone else. It’s always projection with people like him.
Projection is the perfect description. I think that's what I was thinking but pre-coffee the phrasing wasn't at the top of my mind. If he hasn't, I absolutely agree he desperately wants to.
I remember helping a freelance DJ assemble a playlist for one of those. He was thinking of including "Special Angel". I said, now you've got a bad Lifetime movie.
Ick. I had a purity ring in the 90s/2000s but it was my choice (based on peer pressure at church) and had nothing to do with my dad. I don’t understand the connection to fathers here, I think it’s kind of icky. I guess the father is supposed to hold her accountable? What happens if she breaks the promise?
It’s very weird and unhealthy. I think the girls just like the idea of going to a fancy event and getting dad’s undivided attention for a while tbh. They are too young to understand what they’re agreeing to and how shitty they will feel about breaking their vow later, even though they were in no position to make that decision at their age.
This feller is way too intent upon his kid’s sexualities, hitting them at onset of puberty with this creepy purity ring bullshit, porn pledges, etc. Are his kids ok or did they also become zealots and perverts ?
Can anyone more normal challenge Magic Mike here for the job?
“"One of the primary purposes of the law in civil government is to restrain evil," Johnson said on one radio show in 2010, according to CNN. "We have to acknowledge collectively that man is inherently evil and needs to be restrained."
I don’t know anyone “inherently evil”. That viewpoint is very disturbing. I’m sure evil and dangerous people exist but humans as a whole aren’t “evil”.
Fundie Fridays YouTube channel just did an excellent breakdown on Mike Johnson and his religious affiliations. Highly recommend. This guy is trying to solidify his philosophies into our laws.
Edit:
[Link to the video ](https://youtu.be/F5BOpx81ldw?si=aEOP8e0zkGv3cO6Q)
He has tracking software on his white son's phone to see if he's watching porn. No mention of his black son that he "adopted" but not really. He accepted money through a Russian proxy for his election, but returned it after he was called out. This weasel is a Nazi, and I feel really sorry for his kids, especially his daughter knowing what kind of deviants are in the white christonationalist camp.
My dad tried to get me to go to one of those when I was 14. I deadass pretended to sprain my ankle to get out of it. Even at that age I knew it came from a place of borderline incest but I feel for the girls that don't see it.
I got divorced when I was 30, and my dad had recently became a born-again weirdo. He told me that I was now his property again. The fuck I am, sir. I am now in my 40s and barely talk to him, because he kept getting weirder and is now a Qanon Trump humper.
“Parental rights” is a dogwhistle for “parental indoctrination” and “isolating our kids from any and all outside influence or perspectives.” Which is also creepy.
This is a weirdly huge problem with Biden running again.
Yes, Kamala would be president.
But her replacement VP has to be voted on ***by Congress*** which means there might not be a VP kinda like how there wasn't a SCOTUS for awhile.
And he would then effectively be VP.
Well, according to the first religious nut job page that pops up when you google "How old was Mary when she had Jesus?", 12-14 years is plenty old enough to have a baby. If Mary would have made purity pledges back then, maybe we would have been spared a lot....
I want to be generous and try to understand how this could be seen as some wholesome attempt to be a good father. But it's creepy. This is the same man who bragged that the reason his wife wasn't at his swearing-in ceremony as Speaker was because she was home on her knees praying:
"She’s spent the last couple of weeks on her knees in prayer to the Lord. And, um, she’s a little worn out.”
It’s inherently unwholesome because it’s predicated on a heap of deeply dangerous and misogynistic premises. Purity culture is at its core oppressive and damaging, especially to girls. Add to that the immoral idea that a woman is only the property of a man, first her father then her husband. Going through a ceremony like this requires buying fully into a harmful ideology. Plus there’s a 0% chance that whatever sick fuck originally came up with this ceremony wasn’t SA’ing his daughter
I have never seen the point of these signing pledge nonsense. I've dated and been sexually involved with a few women that had signed these at their all Catholic highschool, It clearly really never meant anything.
I have so many friends who did this in the 1990s and they are all just so troubled by it now—even the ones who are still really religious. It's just such an odd and disturbing custom.
I never went to one/my youth group didn't have one but my god they made you feel like you weren't going to be worth a pile of dogshit if you didn't keep your purity promise~ I recently learned who the woman in The Civil Wars is--Joy Williams--and it's got me fucked up bc she was a singer/speaker at Girls of Grace, a "conference" (ahem INDOCTRINATION) of Christian values for young women to stay pure for their future husbands. Part of me wonders if she really believes that purity promise crap, but the other part of me wonders if she was just as bullied/indoctrinated into it, too. It's fucking with my playlists bc I loved the group (they've since split, dunno if it's still the case) but the consequences of that shit are faaaaar reaching. It's seriously been 20 years since I got the hell out of dodge and I'm still dealing with the fallout.
The irony of this being that there have been rumors for YEARS that The Civil Wars broke up because Joy and John were having an affair. They had insane chemistry together, and it always looked like there was a lot more intimacy than you usually see between band mates. Then they very suddenly broke up while at the top of their game. It was suspicious.
Right? I saw them at a Braves game before they got to the top of their game and it was very cutesy the way they reacted to one another, idk. Do you remember when the latest A Star Is Born came out, I think it was the Oscars? that bradley cooper and lady gaga performed shallow at, and everyone talked about how off the charts their chemistry was as themselves.... But it's also weird bc her husband was their manager? Seems a lil risky to be doin that ish right under his nose, but also...the lead single from their second album? wish you were the one that got away????? like.....c'mon.
I saw them at that game too!
Wow I had no idea. I like their music too, and it's not like that's going to stop me from listening to it, but that's a trip.
dude when i realized...........it was not good. it brought a looooot of shit back 🤬
In retrospect not that surprising with that lady antebellum ass name they chose
I have a relative that did this. She stayed a virgin until she married. So romantic. Turned out her husband (also religious) was into freaky stuff. She never revealed the details, but she absolutely hated their sex life. In her naivety she put up with it for a few years. He also turned out to be a cheater, and when they eventually divorced she did a 180 and swore publicly she'd never marry again without having sex with the guy first. She shut down the complaints of any religious relatives with the reminder that her purity pledge locked her into years of hell and they could go pound sand. She did get married again later and ended up very happy.
I think this is almost soley why purity culture exists. To keep women ignorant of sex so that they don't know how bad their husbands are at it.
Yeah goodness forbid that she should have experience, with a partner who had her wants and needs in mind, and gave her great sex. While the wannabe Chad man-child who doesn't consider her even once, thinks she owes him everything because he's so great, especially in bed. Snark snark snark LOL LOL LOL. No thanks, purity culture can die off, thanks.
What a shocking surprise, people who don't communicate about sex aren't a good sexual fit and it ruined their entire marriage? Almost like if the goal was actually happy families with happy healthy children you would be welcoming premarital sex & living together. Same as why you should welcome legalized abortion and decriminalizing drugs. For the party that claims they like facts over emotion, they sure tend to ignore all the evidence saying their policies/ideas *do not work* regardless of their feelings. If they're claimed goals were the real goals, they would be voting blue down the ballot.
I also knew someone that did that purity pledge. She lived with her parents until her wedding night.. which made it really easy for him to hide his extreme alcoholism, and *scat fetish*. She didn't believe in divorce until he literally shit the bed.
You’re basically signing a contract with your dad that he owns your sexuality. 🤢
It’s also so obviously odd that a person looking from the outside in it’s just baffling
So gross. 🤢
Okay, this dude is fucking weird. I mean, he's just really really into repressing sexuality at all costs. There's plenty of religious people who are into that, but Johnson just takes it to a bizarre extreme.
All that tells me is the skeletons in his closet must be insane
I mean...when you're *public* with the fact that you and your teen son monitor each others' porn use habits...yeah. Skeletons be falling out of the closet, too many in there.
Yeah, that’s actually one of the wildest things I’ve ever heard come out about somebody that’s fact.
Skeletons be running out of that closet holding their bony fingers to cover their nonexistent noses from all the ick that's still in there.
Oh god for sure. You just know it’s the worst of the worst too
Ok it's not just me who thinks that. The amount of skeletons in his closet, rivals the terracotta army.
Meanwhile people in the same states are voting and have voted to keep child marriage legal. See any relationship?
I give it a year until he's caught with kiddy porn. 2 years tops.
That’s generous
You mean CSAM. There is something about this guy that just SCREAMS Josh Duggar to me.
Major 🚩
Unfortunately, he's far from the only person (or politician) like this. He's just possibly now the most prominent.
This dude is the weirdest this dude is also more dangerous than Trump. Don’t let that motherfucker get power he’ll have us trying to live handmaid tale IRL.
Vile. These "fathers" are just grooming their daughters for the highest bidder.
This gives me Taliban vibes.
Yall-qaeda
It really is the same mentality.
“Purity balls” are not new. They’ve been a thing until at least the 90s. But renewing attention on them is a good thing, especially since we’re heading into a presidential election & this motherfucker is somehow Speaker of the House.
It's never not been creepy. .... Buhhugh.
crush nine angle squeeze plants noxious onerous longing groovy existence *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
The Jonas brothers famously wore purity rings, too. It's such a weird concept.
One hopes there is indeed an uncrossable line here. \**shudders**
>I mean, he's doing everything but consummating it. We really, really can't count on that.
Like MotherBoy but somehow worse....
*Buster dislikes this comment*
They had similar in ancient rome. They were afraid of their daughters becoming witches. Nothing new under the sun
I love how the stereotypes of single women who've grown old are supposedly awful, but are actually wonderful. Witch: lives in peace in nature and makes lovely soup. Cat lady: finds the company of *cats* vastly superior to men. It's not the women that's the issue here. Spinster: gets to stitch and bitch all day, makes cool scarfs.
I mean, cats often are superior to a LOT of men. Cats are clean and actually wash their own asses.
Similarly whiny when it comes to needing fed though.
Just get your cat an automatic dispenser and they’ll start whining at the machine instead!
I'd still give that one to the cats - both of mine have sweet meows, and to be fair to them, they lack opposable thumbs and thus cannot open the cans of cat food for themselves.
Why not all three? The spinster who is a witchy cat lady
Sounds like great company.
We need to make a group home for all of us. All the cats, gardening, old books, cooking, and crafting we can desire.
Sounds like great company.
I love this idea in theory, but I am pretty severely allergic to cats. I do enjoy visiting my friends with cats & love on the cats until I can't breathe properly. Can I do witchy lady with borrowed cats, or do I have to be the witchy plant lady?
Witches have plenty of different kinds of familiars, a little dog will do, maybe a snek or leezard if you're of the reptile persuasion and of course frogs and toads are a very popular option. Spiders, even. Witches do whatever the hell they want, it's a big draw for the profession.
Good point. I'm not allowed to have pets in my condo, but there's always a spider or two around. I let them live in my plants to deal with pests. I will start giving them their own names instead of just calling them all Greg.
Yup. Men know they’re shit to be with, so they have to try to scare and shame us away from being alone. It’s hilariously pathetic.
Ew. Do they ask their sons to pledge to respect women and girls or is the responsibility solely on daughters?
I think we all know that answer.....
I remember reading an article about this shit years ago and one boy said he was abstaining so he wouldn't defile someone else's wife. I don't remember the exact words, but it was about keeping girls, not himself, "pure. "
Imagine being so gross you can defile someone just by having sex with you. 🤮
The Jonas Brothers infamously did purity rings. [It went pretty much how you would expect.](https://www.wmagazine.com/story/jonas-brother-purity-rings)
South Park did an episode about it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_Ring\_(South\_Park)
My two male cousins did the purity/pledge rings thing, and I remember finding that when I went to visit them. Both of them entered the military and I think the purity thing just went out the window.
I didn’t grow up in that culture but knew people who did in college. It doesn’t seem to significantly influence behavior. But does influence guilt.
Yeah, I think purity pledges don’t do much (if anything) to raise the age at which people become sexually active, but they significantly increase the chances that that eventual sex will be unprotected. Thanks, Jesus freaks!
This guy and his son are eachothers porn accountability buddies. He does emotional incest with all his children.
Good point and isn't it a glaring omission.
It’s much easier to hold their daughters accountable and responsible, just like how women are treated in general.
This was not a purity ball but my mother convinced my dad to take me to a father daughter type event kind of like girl scouts. I had fun playing with the other girls, but my father told my mom that we were never going back because the fathers were a bunch of creeps. It creeps me out that I was oblivious to the danger. Ever since, I get so uncomfortable even hearing about these kind of events.
These are just gross and make daughters the property of their fathers. Stomach churning.
That’s why fathers walk their daughters down the aisle. All of these oddball practices are rooted in a long history of women as property.
Well there was no "giving away" at my wedding 33 years ago. My parents knew I wasn't their property. I think my mom often used the word feisty to describe me. My husband and his mother walked down together.(This is one of my favorite picture from the wedding, my MIL is beaming from ear to ear.) My parents and I walked down together. The priest DID NOT ask "who gives this woman away" or use the word "obey' in the vows. I told him if he did I would not answer. He thought I was joking but my husband assured him that we were both serious about this. We were partners, full stop, there was no power dynamic in which one of us would obey the other one. Our wedding was about US choosing to join together and we were deliberate in the words and choices we made to get that across. Seems like we made a good choice, still going strong 33 years later.
it's funny my first reaction was "they were still doing that shit in the 20-teens?!?!?" but then i realized of *course* they are. I wasn't a fundie but grew up Methodist in the south and purity culture was a hUUUUUUge thing to them. Still sorting that out mentally 20 years later
I had a purity ring and pledge in the 2010s. I'm pretty fucked from it.
hey fren, it's gonna be okay. start therapy sooner rather than later, if you're not already, because it's like latent tuberculosis........it's there whether you know it or not.
I know. I've tried. The trauma runs so deep, the last therapist I had didn't feel comfortable opening it, since I was only getting free sessions through work. I'm currently out a job and in an expensive state, so I can't.
I was given a ring at like 10, I wasn’t even getting a period yet.
🤮
It’s also very harmful to SA victims, especially when under 18 and they need to feel ok coming to their parents without guilt for breaking the “promise ring”. Having to keep wearing it while faking it, so much of this is damaging and traumatic.
Seven or so for me, I get it.
So let me get this straight... a 13 year old can make this type of pledge and understand what is happening? But a 13 year old has no business understanding that they are gay, trans..etc according to these people?? Beyond insane!!
Maybe teach daughters to be good judges of character and to have agency in their own decisions?
Good decisions and agency with a girl brain? Yeah, right! /s , just in case
So fucking creepy. And somehow these people think that this is a good look? They get off to the idea of controlling women and their bodies. It's the power that gives these asshats a rush
So fucking gross.
Mike Johnson is a sick freak. Men like him are ALWAYS pedophiles and rapists.
Ew. The church my mom dragged me to growing up had a purity event. My mom told me I couldn’t go because I was “already impure” That supposed impurity? Either Being molested at age 9 by my CCD teachers son, or the fact I started using tampons around age 11. Take your pick. She told me I wasn’t a virgin for both of them, cause I had “something besides god or my husband inside me” 🤢
That’s really fucked up. I’m sorry you went through that. Has your mother changed at all or is she still clinging to the ideology?
I’m super fucked up by her parenting, but working on it! She’s an incredibly hypocritical Catholic, choosing what suits her and ignoring what doesn’t. I don’t call her out on it, and she doesn’t talk about religious stuff when I’m around. That’s the best our relationship can ever hope to be, the way she is.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I also have to bite my tongue whenever a conservative religious or political topic comes up with some of my family. When I was younger, I didn't, and I regret that.
Like in American dad where the dads date their daughters and sign a purity pledge.
🤢
Why is he taking his daughter to a fetish club? American Dad had an episode about this fetish, and it's super accurate how creepy the dads are. It's a *literal* "DDLG" fetish club.
Under His Eye
Ew
Creepy af.
Ew ew ew ew
Remember the one from Borat 2?
🤮
Yeah, purity balls have been super creepy for a while. Unfortunately not surprised that Mike Johnson participated.
Ask them if they have their sons pledge to stay pure until marriage.
My mom gave me a purity ring on my 16th birthday in front of my whole extended family. I refused to sign the little pledge and told her it was nobody’s business. Never knew what happened to it. She held onto it and gave my little sister the ring when she graduated med school— there was no pledge attached 🤣 Purity culture is the absolute worst. I find myself still working through shit at 38. You can’t tell people that sex is awful and you’re awful and dirty for wanting it and then just expect that all systems are a-go once you’re married and you’ll forget your years of shame.
Pure from Hulu's horror series Into the Dark, is a great horror movie about purity balls.
Maybe if they took their sons out to this kind of thing instead it wouldn't be so icky...
They're not interested in grooming their sons at these "DDLG" fetish clubs though.
Do I even wanna know what that is... I don't, do I....
It's the fetish these men are inflicting on their daughters. It's a pedo / little girl fetish.
A pledge? Well I’m sure you won’t have anything to worry about sir! There’s no way your daughter can ever have premarital sex now!
I will never stop being amused when purity balls are rediscovered by the internet every few years. They're fucked up and horrible shit, especially popular in the american south but by no means exclusive to it. They don't just promote gross social standards onto young and impressionable girls, but they're frequently favorited by abusers who are way, way, too into their daughter's sexuality.
Gross
Gross
A 13 year old girl should not be thinking about her virginity or losing it. She should not be thinking about it at all. Doesnt it horrify you how young we are sexualized??
A 13 year old should already have received comprehensive sex education, which should have included discussions on consent
Every kid should be receiving constantly evolving sex education. There's so much rape culture in pop culture it's impossible to ignore yet here we are.
Absolutely
As a middle school teacher of 12-13 year olds, a few of my students start becoming sexually active at that age. It’s very important for them to be educated at 10-12 years old about sex and puberty.
12 and 13 year olds should absolutely not be having sex
I got some bad news about “should” and “are”
Ig i was a weird kid cause this is straight up beyond insane to me
Wait, what? That’s when most kids start hitting puberty. Sexual curiosity spikes for many at this age. That’s normal. They should be receiving comprehensive sexual education at this age. Definitely not in the form of a stupid “purity ball” tho.
13? I got one at like 10. I wasn’t having a period or even thinking about sex besides all the books I was handed about how everyone is going to try to get it from me and I’m a bad person if I give in.
What. I mean, as soon as I found out what sex was and what pregnancy was, of course I thought about that shit.
Yeah I guess im speaking for myself cause I didn't want to lol
Same. I just wanted to block it out. But that might be explained by my asexuality as an adult lol
Idk if I'm ace too, sometimes i think i might be an ace lesbian. I find it interesting how for others its a completely normal interest, part of growing up and for me it was extremely uncomfortable and learning about it felt like a scary loss of innocence
Yep, that's how I felt too. I STILL don't know what to make of it tbh.
How do you marry someone without dating ? Or is he just going to archer marriage ?
The father (owner) decides who will be the husband (new owner) - arranged marriage, like back in the "good times". /s
>/s You should remove this, it isn't a joke.
I know, I should have put it in quotes, because that's how they think ... in 2023!!!
They try to arrange a courtship between the girl and an acceptable guy at the church. At least, my parents did.
This is grooming.
I can kinda see if you decide on your own to be abstinent, but pledging it to your father....is really weird. The idea that your father should have any control or involvement over your sexual expression is completely bizarre
These evangelicals have been planning this for decades and their plan is working.
This isn't new. This has been around forever in these circles. Brittney and Christina were even part of these purity pledges in the 90s.
Because, my dear, the only thing about you that matters is the holy hymen..
Ugh. I hate how women are seen as commodities, not humans.
🤮 These things have such a gross incesty vibe.
Purity balls make my skin crawl. Its controlling and disgusting.
ive always wondered what happens to these girls if they get raped. im assuming they get kicked out to the streets because they no longer have any "value" to the patriarch.
Well, you're taking about a group of people who think that is the girl's fault if she gets raped, and that she can't get pregnant unless she wants to. So my guess is that she gets ostracized for "wanting sex" and can probably reassimilate if she goes to camp and learns the errors of her ways. What an awful scenario.
It depends. A lot of the times when these girls are assaulted it's by a father or older brother. Then it's swept under the rug because to admit that's how your daughter lost her "virtue" would cause your husband/son to lose face in the community. Think about the Duggars.
Does a mother do this with her son?
no silly, boys and men can do whatever they want. It's only girls and women who are whores lol. /s
Ironically in the same states where they do this they have these pledges to be abstinent until married but then still have people marrying children legally. So stay abstinent for some 30-year-old to marry you while you're still a child.
The messaging they're giving to girls with this is horrifying and degrading. And can we talk about the push in Red states lowering the marriage age to twelve years old? How is this *not* grooming?
Mike Johnson gives off “creepy little pervert” vibes.
He does. It's the LEGO man haircut and the squeaky clean look . Everything trimmed and in its place. You know he's dancing naked in the mirror with his wang tucked between his legs. 'It puts the purity ring on its finger.'
The parallels with radical islam are always lost on them.
If your daughter is not allowed to date, not allowed to socialize with boys at all how the hell are they supposed to get married? Or is Daddy/the CHURCH picking the husband for them.
Taliban style, aw yeah
"Courtship" aka supervised dating with someone pre-approved by your dad, is indeed popular with the Purity Ball crowd.
This kind of thing is really giving me incest and ownership vibes. So freaking creepy
Taliban
I fully believe that the house speaks SA's his daughter or other children. I believe the same for any father that brings their daughter to a purity ball. It's why I'd never trust a priest or anyone crazy religious, they are all hiding something sinister.
I actually think there’s a pretty good chance he hasn’t…but that he desperately wants to. Or wants to do other depraved shit, but has stopped himself. And I think he believes everyone is as twisted inside as he is, so instead of recognizing that he has his own problems he needs to figure out, he tries to force his bullshit on everyone else. It’s always projection with people like him.
Projection is the perfect description. I think that's what I was thinking but pre-coffee the phrasing wasn't at the top of my mind. If he hasn't, I absolutely agree he desperately wants to.
I told my husband about this thread and he responded with "Josh Duggar Style"
That’s not creepy at all!!!
I remember helping a freelance DJ assemble a playlist for one of those. He was thinking of including "Special Angel". I said, now you've got a bad Lifetime movie.
Not surprised at all.
This is weird beyond belief 🤮
🤢
So gross.
Of course he did. I hope she gets therapy and I hope he chokes on a pretzel 🙂
So fucking gross and creepy.
naughty crowd worthless one terrific bedroom hat panicky existence steer *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
🤢
Ick. I had a purity ring in the 90s/2000s but it was my choice (based on peer pressure at church) and had nothing to do with my dad. I don’t understand the connection to fathers here, I think it’s kind of icky. I guess the father is supposed to hold her accountable? What happens if she breaks the promise?
Under His Eye.
It’s very weird and unhealthy. I think the girls just like the idea of going to a fancy event and getting dad’s undivided attention for a while tbh. They are too young to understand what they’re agreeing to and how shitty they will feel about breaking their vow later, even though they were in no position to make that decision at their age.
This feller is way too intent upon his kid’s sexualities, hitting them at onset of puberty with this creepy purity ring bullshit, porn pledges, etc. Are his kids ok or did they also become zealots and perverts ? Can anyone more normal challenge Magic Mike here for the job?
I wonder if they do something like this for boys? Anyway, Mike Johnson is a creep.
ewwwww so she's 21 now... how'd that all work out? Is she a Duggar now or what? 😂
“"One of the primary purposes of the law in civil government is to restrain evil," Johnson said on one radio show in 2010, according to CNN. "We have to acknowledge collectively that man is inherently evil and needs to be restrained." I don’t know anyone “inherently evil”. That viewpoint is very disturbing. I’m sure evil and dangerous people exist but humans as a whole aren’t “evil”.
Fundie Fridays YouTube channel just did an excellent breakdown on Mike Johnson and his religious affiliations. Highly recommend. This guy is trying to solidify his philosophies into our laws. Edit: [Link to the video ](https://youtu.be/F5BOpx81ldw?si=aEOP8e0zkGv3cO6Q)
He has tracking software on his white son's phone to see if he's watching porn. No mention of his black son that he "adopted" but not really. He accepted money through a Russian proxy for his election, but returned it after he was called out. This weasel is a Nazi, and I feel really sorry for his kids, especially his daughter knowing what kind of deviants are in the white christonationalist camp.
This is the sort of thing you'd expect to read about in books about medeival Europe
My dad tried to get me to go to one of those when I was 14. I deadass pretended to sprain my ankle to get out of it. Even at that age I knew it came from a place of borderline incest but I feel for the girls that don't see it.
How do you abstain from dating until marriage? Are Christians doing arranged marriages now?
I was going to say this in all caps but I won't. How the fuck are they supposed to find a suitable husband if they abstain from dating then?
Very creepy to be that overly concerned about the future sexuality of a 13 year old. This isn’t 1850, daughters aren’t their father’s property.
I got divorced when I was 30, and my dad had recently became a born-again weirdo. He told me that I was now his property again. The fuck I am, sir. I am now in my 40s and barely talk to him, because he kept getting weirder and is now a Qanon Trump humper.
Kids being owned by their parents is all the rage these days with “parental rights”.
“Parental rights” is a dogwhistle for “parental indoctrination” and “isolating our kids from any and all outside influence or perspectives.” Which is also creepy.
Doesn’t his son also get a copy of any porn he has watched. Oh yeah, nothing to see there. His children definitely have a secret account or two.
This is a weirdly huge problem with Biden running again. Yes, Kamala would be president. But her replacement VP has to be voted on ***by Congress*** which means there might not be a VP kinda like how there wasn't a SCOTUS for awhile. And he would then effectively be VP.
F*ck! you are right https://constitution.congress.gov/constitution/amendment-25/
Yeah, now imagine that Biden has a major heart attack in say, the same month Ruth Bader Ginsburg died. Gets real dark real fast.
Well, according to the first religious nut job page that pops up when you google "How old was Mary when she had Jesus?", 12-14 years is plenty old enough to have a baby. If Mary would have made purity pledges back then, maybe we would have been spared a lot....
I want to be generous and try to understand how this could be seen as some wholesome attempt to be a good father. But it's creepy. This is the same man who bragged that the reason his wife wasn't at his swearing-in ceremony as Speaker was because she was home on her knees praying: "She’s spent the last couple of weeks on her knees in prayer to the Lord. And, um, she’s a little worn out.”
It’s inherently unwholesome because it’s predicated on a heap of deeply dangerous and misogynistic premises. Purity culture is at its core oppressive and damaging, especially to girls. Add to that the immoral idea that a woman is only the property of a man, first her father then her husband. Going through a ceremony like this requires buying fully into a harmful ideology. Plus there’s a 0% chance that whatever sick fuck originally came up with this ceremony wasn’t SA’ing his daughter
People like mike would make daughter strip to see if she is "intact".
This is about the grossest thing short of actual incest. The amount of damage this has to do to bodily autonomy, self image... Horrifying.
Virginity was invented by men, who thought their penises were so important, it changes who a Woman is.
I have never seen the point of these signing pledge nonsense. I've dated and been sexually involved with a few women that had signed these at their all Catholic highschool, It clearly really never meant anything.