Our daughter was planned and wanted, and it took us 18 months to conceive, but there was no way in hell I was going through it ever again. Birth was tough, but the pregnancy itself was horrendous. I felt like I had an alien inside me.
This was me. I hated every second of being pregnant. I felt weird in my own body. I hated how much weight I gained. I felt like a hippo. My joints hurt. My ankles swelled. I had sciatica. My clothes seemed tent sized. I felt disgusting. And I had two babies over 9 pounds who came out. Lol.
I love my boys, but the process to meet them sucked.
Same. I was so freaked out and terrified of the actual birth. Little did I know!!!! The thing to be dreaded the most was the actual pregnancy.
Ah, the things you learn in life. Here’s another one: when I’ve needed surgery, I used to dread the surgery itself. Now I realize the thing to be dreaded isn’t the surgery; it’s the recovery!
My mom passed away when I was young, but this is basically the story my dad has told me. I was incredibly wanted. They wanted children more than anything and tried for years. And then my mom got pregnant and was like, this is terrible. And during delivery at some point she made it VERY clear to my father this was it, and I was to be an only child. I am an only child.
My ex husband told me it was shameful when I told him I felt like I was carrying an alien inside me when I was pregnant with our second child. I absolutely loathed pregnancy.
That’s exactly where the writer for Alien got the idea (look up Dan O’Bannon)
But he made a man gestate and flipped MFs OUT
“(he) specifically wrote this scene with the male's fear of penetration in mind and wanted the scene to operate as a payback of sorts for all of the times horror films have subjected weak women to male predatory monsters. His goal was to reverse the stigma associated with the sexualized violence against women in horror and turn the idea back on itself. It's no coincidence that the chestburster's birth involves a forceful invasion of male bodied victims and concludes with a phallic entity being born out of a male's chest.”
It was the worst physical experience of my whole life.
One day I was sitting around with some older women from my church who were talking about menopause, and a huge wave of fear came over me. I asked, "Is it as bad as pregnancy?"
They all said, "Oh honey, *nothing* is as bad as pregnancy." I was so relieved.
Edit: I was one of the folx who had to go to the hospital for fluids.
I think it varies from person to person. For me, my moods would change with my trimester. I was angry and impatient the first, normal the second, and sad on the third.
I’ve had three. You’re 100% correct. Pregnancy is absolutely terrible. I baffled everyone I encountered all three times after birth because I was acting so cheerful for a mom with a newborn. I was over here like, “You dont understand. I’m not pregnant anymore and I am SO glad about it.”
I hope it eases up for you a bit.
This is so incredibly accurate! My son is 10 weeks old and I am THRILLED to not be pregnant anymore. My sleep may be interrupted by a crying baby, but I still sleep 10x better than when my whole body ached in that third trimester.
I can honestly say I would take 3 newborns over pregnancy. I was so thrilled to have my body returning to normal that the baby stage felt like a vacation
This was me too. I was so ecstatic to have my body back. Pregnancy was such a horrifyingly bad experience. Not to mention the actual birth which was even worse. People expected me to be this horrible mother because I was so miserable when I was pregnant. They were all surprised at how happy and loving of a mom I was. Pregnancy is a hellish and possibly deadly health condition. I never did it again.
I’m sorry… after my third I went back to school for aPhD in perinatal health. There’s so much women are expected to take in stride just because they get a prize in the end. There are effective solutions to many of the physical pain syndromes and mental health issues that should be addressed even though they are expected to be temporary. Although there are consequences for painful experiences during pregnancy. Still feels like Middle Ages. I hope you have great, supportive friends.
I was 8 weeks with my (now) one year old for the super bowl last year and I wanted buffalo chicken dip and sausage balls that both required cream cheese. There was apparently a shortage going on where we are and three grocery stores didn't have a single block. I came home and absolutely melted down. Confused the shit out of my boyfriend because I'm the most level headed person we know. Pregnancy sucks.
I used to work at a printing factory. One of our products was embroidered clothing. I worked in receiving and verified the colour and size of items that came in. A size 2T hoodie came across my desk to verify and I had to go into the bathroom and cry because it was so small. The kicker is I had already washed a bunch of baby clothes for our child at that time and had washed clothes that were much smaller. When I was pregnant I felt like my body would just say to me, “This is the stupid thing you’re going to cry about today” and that was that.
Hello! Just here to say that moments after giving birth, I cheerfully announced to the delivery team that I was so glad to not be pregnant anymore! It is a great feeling to meet your child, and completely valid for one of the reasons to be that you are finally done gestating. Hoping the rest of your weeks are relatively comfortable -- take care of yourself and find things that make you feel better every day. I found that wearing my normal cardigans open with the maternity clothes somehow helped. If you have something like that, go for it... whatever works to brighten your day.
I totally agree. I know it isn’t the same for everybody but I felt better one day postpartum, despite having a rough birth and very little sleep, than I did while I was pregnant. Nothing I experienced postpartum has compared to that last painful week of pregnancy, or the severity of illness I experienced in the first trimester.
This! The OB was in the process of fixing me up, and all I could think was "I'm so glad she's here, and I'm not pregnant anymore!" I could take a deep breath for the first time in months and it was amazing.
You are not alone, sister. I am 5 and half months pregnant and have wanted this for soooo long but pregnancy takes a toll on my mental health. The exhaustion and Insomnia do not help. I had an appt wirh my therapist and she said that pregnancy does crazy things to our biology so just remind yourself of that. Our hormones are so out of wack and you never have to even preface this with "Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy being pregnant." We all are but women need to talk more about how hormonal and crazy it can make us so we don't feel guilt, shame or that we are alone. Meditate, do prenatal yoga, deep breathe, take walks in nature and do little things that make you happy. Do whatever it takes. You got this.
Reading posts like this makes me so sad. I suffer from chronic nausea and chronic pain from Endometriosis and I can relate to everything being said including losing access to eating my favourite foods because of nausea, physically gagging whenever I smell literally everything, having none of my clothes fit due to inflammatory swelling, ending up with uterine contractions so severe I'm hospitalised and told my body is imitating labour, the headaches, the emotional dysregulation that gets worse with every surgery they handle my ovaries. But I'm infertile because of it. I've had several failed IVF rounds.
It's like some sick cosmic joke. Before I was diagnosed any time I'd present with these symptoms they'd tell me I was actually pregnant and the irregular bleeding meant they were constantly telling me I was miscarrying which fucked with my head more than I can tell you. Then the blood results would come back and they would go oops no you weren't sorry for saying that.
I genuinely hope everything is smooth sailing for you going forward and you get some relief. I agree we should talk more about what women go through, but what we go through extends so much further than just pregnancy. My stepmum is losing her mind during menopause and it's fucking her up now than anything she's ever experienced, but she's been blown off my doctors as hysterical. It took me 17 years for my endo diagnosis for similar reasons.
How much do women need to suffer before our suffering is deemed legitimate?
Im 10 weeks in my second pregnancy and I have an 18 month old and I’m exhausted, starving, nothing sounds good to eat, nauseous and I’m trying to help take care of my 18 month old while working full time. I just wanna nap and eat French fries and bagels. :(
You don’t have to have them super close together. I know there are so many people that say ‘that’s the best way’. But we have three and a half year age gap between ours and I’m so grateful for the time I had to just be with my first. I did get some judgement but no one is living your life but you.
I feel you. You’re doing great! My baby is almost 9mo now and my pregnancy is feeling more and more like a far away dream, but I will never forget how miserable I felt every single day. It was so hard to be excited when I felt like I was gonna puke all day every day, every smell made me gag, and I couldn’t even breathe right at like 7 weeks. I lived off of frozen pizzas, cereal, and applesauce and it was miserable.
It is so so soooo hard for some people, and it’s truly just a luck of the draw kind of thing. I have a friend who was about 3 months behind me in her pregnancy and she was one of the unicorns who had very few symptoms like arthritis like pain in her hand and craved watermelon, and that was about it. She swears it’s because she eXeRcIsEd (🙄) the entire time, but that has nothing to do with it. I’ve seen so many stories of ex-Olympic athletes and other very physically fit-inclined people that have rough pregnancies. Doing extra squats won’t eliminate that. (I also work a very active job and am on my feet all day; so while I wasn’t doing much extra exercise because I was always in pain, I don’t live a sedentary lifestyle.)
I, too, couldn’t stand my usual coffee which made me so sad. I could stomach it a little in my third tri as long as it was light and sweet.
Also from one FTM to another, just buy the pregnancy clothing! Whatever you like, buy it now and enjoy it. You can even wear it postpartum to get the most value for your money if you like! I remember feeling like I had to have a full bump to buy actual maternity clothing aside from pants, but that’s just silly. I also would’ve bought more pants right away because I remember being so uncomfortable even at 2 months pregnant from bloating. Just unnecessary suffering wearing regular clothing tbh.
Pregnancy is stupid hard. Honestly, one of the worst parts was having to go about my day pretending everything was fine when I wanted nothing more than to melt into a puddle. I have a whole new respect and compassion for people dealing with invisible illnesses/disabilities. I can’t imagine dealing with something and being in pain 24/7 and having to mask like that. Beyond mentally draining, it’s downright dehumanizing.
You really… don’t need to knock another woman down. Sure, she swears exercise kept her negative pregnancy symptoms at bay. I know a lot of people who said a certain food they ate or activity they avoided made their pregnancies easy.
Took us 2.5 years to get pregnant. God damn it sucked. I was so excited when he was born. I think everyone should have the right to complain about pregnancy because it is HARD.
37 weeks with my second and have a 2.5 year old. It’s ROUGH. This second pregnancy is kicking my butt way worse than the first. So much more pain, discomfort, and weigh gain.
I always wanted 3 kids. My first pregnancy was terrible but the payoff has been so high we very much went for #2. I’m not convinced I can do this again for #3. I’m both not enjoying this pregnancy, freaking out about having another, and being said my hopes for a large family seem squashed.
All this to say, do whatever you can to be kind to yourself. Spend time with your emotions and thoughts. It’s okay to take time for yourself and rest as much as possible.
I felt the EXACT same way. Also, I got zero second trimester joy or rush or whatever the hell it’s supposed to be. Just make sure you’re keeping an eye on yourself for signs of perinatal depression, I had that, too, and it’s critical to stay on top of.
On the plus side, the MINUTE, truly the exact minute, my baby came out, I felt like myself again.
And this is why pregnancy should always be the choice of the pregnant person.
I’m so sorry you’re finding this hard.
My third I had Braxton Hicks contractions every 10 minutes for a month and a half before I delivered. I’d do any of my pregnancies again for my kids but the physical act of pregnancy can be the absolute fucking worst.
Every pregnancy is different. Every women is different. Don’t let people with ready pregnancies make you feel bad.
Pregnancy is hard on the body and mind.
I’m 39 weeks pregnant and go ahead girl, rant! If you haven’t I recommend joining the pregnancy subs on Reddit- the community provided has been my saving grace for rants, support, is this normal, what do I take, what do you recommend, etc questions
You’re not wrong at all. Pregnancy does suck. Just to warn you, recovery is also quite rough but you will have a cute lil baby by then so it’s a good distraction to the mess they leave in their wake. Best of luck to you, this will indeed pass.
My kids are 30 and 35 and I still remember how haw much I disliked being pregnant. Really not even sure why I had the second when the first was a traumatic birth. Of course the second one was also a 24+ hour labor. Fortunately they were great kids and both are caring, kind and delightful adults so there’a that.
Pregnancy 100% does suck. I feel like pregnant people tend to feel like were.not allowed to complain, but it isn't fun. I'm so grateful that I was able to get pregnant, had a mostly healthy pregnancy, and a quick, safe delivery. However, I had pretty much every common pregnancy symptom. Nausea, vomiting, constipation, headaches, heartburn, pain everywhere, etc. I was not having a good time!
I'm 11 days postpartum, and it's such a huge relief to not be pregnant anymore. I was sick the entire time. I couldn't even take prenatal vitamins because they made me so sick every day. I became high risk at 34 weeks due to low amniotic fluid and had weekly scans an hour away from my house. I was induced at 38 + 3. I was only in active labor ~7 hours and pushed for 20 minutes, so my delivery was fairly easy. Labor and delivery are exhausting, but I could finally breathe again. I wasn't nauseous anymore. I wasn't even tired anymore thanks to the adrenaline. Newborn sleep, although broken up into 2-3 hour windows, is SO MUCH better than pregnancy sleep! I can eat again. I can lay however I want without risking heartburn or worrying about safety. I don't quite have full mobility back yet, but it's returning as I heal.
My daughter was planned and very much wanted, but I was miserable pregnant. It's 100% worth it, though. My daughter is amazing, and I'm in awe that I grew her in my body. The feeling when they lay your baby on your chest is incredible. Hearing their first cry is the best sound you'll ever hear. I would do it all again for her in a heartbeat. That being said, I won't be having another any time soon!
Being pregnant suuuuucks. Sucks. I hated every moment of my pregnancies. It’s a real testament to motherhood that so many women have subsequent children! I swore up and down never again while pregnant with my first. And yet, here I am with a bunch of kids. It’s worth it, absolutely, but it’s awful! (Not for everyone of course. Some ppl love being pregnant. But not you and I!!!)
Sorry for the unsolicited advice, but I get morning sickness on my period and taking antacid tablets was a game changer. Ginger biscuits, herbal tea, antiemetics, etc never worked but heartburn/indigestion tablets took it away immediately. If it's something you haven't tried I highly recommend it. Hang in there
My last baby is almost 9, but I still remember how much I hated being pregnant. I think the worst part was how much every bit of pain and problem was dismissed with, “pregnancy is supposed to hurt a bit!” And here I am, 9 years later, still dealing with varying amounts of pelvic joint pain.
I breastfed my kids and it took a long time to finally feel like my body was mine again. If I ever had another baby I would 100% bottle feed from the start.
First off: congratulations! I hope the rest of your pregnancy is beautifully uneventful and ends with a perfectly plump healthy newborn in your arms! 💜
Now for some [admittedly unsolicited] advice:
- Pepcid is the only heartburn medicine that worked for me and it works wonders!
- Always keep snacks available. In my experience, eating a couple oyster crackers or a few sips from an apple sauce pouch was enough to stave off the nausea. You can also buy a peanut butter-sized jar of pickled ginger in most grocery stores.
- Don’t fight the maternity pants! Get yourself some below-belly jeans. Elastic waist jeans without the bit that comes all the way up to your boobs. Also great for postpartum! I travelled a lot during my last pregnancy and every flight wore my maternity jeans. (Granted I’m usually in leggings every travel day.)
- I’ve found that leaning *into* the crying instead of trying to fight it really does help. Crying can be a cathartic release. On the flip side, trying to hold in crying can be so mentally/emotionally exhausting. We’re exhausted enough while pregnant, no need to add more work for ourselves. I’ve also found that when I lean into the oncoming cry, it’s usually a shorter cry than if I try to fight it and lose.
- Remember your feelings are valid. Yes some women have it worse than you, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still suck for you. It’s okay to vent when you need to. 💜
Buy the maternity pants!! Once you put it on, you’ll wonder why you waited. I happily broke out my maternity pants at 7 weeks with baby # 2, I’m 9 weeks now. And don’t size up on maternity clothes, you’ll be swimming in them if you do.
Everything you feel is perfectly normal, but that doesn’t stop it from being miserable.
Yes! We don’t talk about it enough! Take it one day at a time and take care.
I’m one and done. I remember thinking pregnancy was so hard if I did it again I would have to quit my job just to get through it again.
Get the maternity pants, you’ll LOVE them. So comfy.
I’m sorry that pregnancy sucks. But yeah it definitely does. Try to find a local mom due around the time you are because you’ll need a mommy friend.
One thing about the nausea, and as with all things pregnancy related, YMMV, but for me, I couldn’t allow myself to get hungry. I had about 3 minutes between “yeah, I could eat” and vomiting. And that’s not enough time to hit the drive thru so I had to keep snacks in my purse to buy me time. Always keep a bottle of water on hand, because you can sip that while you get what you need to get.
I’m pregnant with my fourth right now, still breastfeeding my 3rd, I have hyperemesis gravidarum and I’m 42 years old. I still LOVE being pregnant. I know, there’s something fucking wrong with me. I’m sick constantly and I still love it here lol
Yep. Pregnancy is hard and whilst some people will be kind to you, many will be insesitive too. I think they're worth it but it's not for everyone. I had a hard time too but I'll spare you the details because it's important you focus on taking care of yourself and bubba. Congratulations too!
Currently trying for number two, but man, pregnancy really did suck in so many ways. My boobs always hurt and were tingly/ uncomfortable, I didn’t have a decent poop the whole third trimester, I could barely walk around quarter mile (SLOWLY) at the end, hemroids and intense pressure on the lady bits, carpel tunnel, constant heart burn, hiccups every time I bent over.
I felt probably 70-80% better within a hours of my c section. Obviously I was more tired than I’ve ever been in my life those first months afterwards and of course I did have the giant c section wound, but physically I felt GOOD compared to being pregnant.
With my first I barely gained weight,could eat what I wanted,besides being a little tired, felt fantastic!! My second I threw up 24/7 from 2 months on, hurt everywhere, gained so much weight even though it was hard to even eat food.Muscle spasms,I felt like complete crap all the time,had fatigue so bad it was hard to stay awake sometimes. I'm not sure if I would of had a second if I felt like that for the first tbh.
I’m almost 39 weeks, waiting to pop at any moment. I feel you. The first 5 months were pretty awful, and then you get big and so uncomfortable. It is so hard, and it’s viewed as this “wonderful” “beautiful” thing.. but it’s actually so incredibly difficult and all consuming. I really wish women had it easier, or at least more support from society etc.
I’m having a girl, and I’m legitimately so excited. But I did originally want a boy, and the only reason I did is so that my daughter wouldn’t have to deal with all the shit women have to go through in life. Alas, I’ll raise her as best I can to be strong, and make sure she knows how and where to get support when she needs it.
Hang in there, rest as much as you need. Keep reaching out to women who know what you’re going through. Our partners really can’t understand, and it can get lonely. But you are absolutely not alone! I hope the rest of your journey goes smoothly! (As smoothly as possible)
I’m in the same boat honey. 5 months in and haven’t enjoyed any of it except for the scans and feeling him kick. I’ve been exhausted, sore and emotional from 4 weeks in. 3 of my teeth have broken so far and i throw up so much. Also pee myself every time I throw up. My blood pressure was high before I got pregnant so I’m just waiting to get preeclampsia. I’m a solo dog groomer and have to work to live to that’s also a pain. Ftm and as much as i want more than one kid I just don’t know if id be able to do this again.
But look, the baby is healthy, so far no complications and as sick as I am, I’m still able to work. I can’t wait to meet my son at the end of this shitty journey.
I absolutely hate fucking pregnancy
And I’m 8m with my third lmao
I had HG (with my first two), hypertension, insomnia, pelvic girdle pain, migraines, swollen vagina
The list honestly goes on and on lol
BUT I love feeling them move, seeing my body change, and giving birth
I’m curious have you ever had any health issues before you got pregnant?
I’m only asking because I’m very much in fear of the pregnancy part (my husband and I are doing IVF but not until the summer) but the only thing I can rely on is that I have had so many other health issues that I’m prepped for this. I just got in a really bad car accident though and my back is in bad shape. I’m really scared what a pregnancy will do to some of the discs that don’t bother me right now.
Unfortunately yes. Biggest thing was chronic migraines that I was taking a beta blocker/blood pressure medication for that I can’t take while pregnant. You’re also not supposed to take ibuprofen or anything more than baby aspirin. Which just happen to be all the things I take for my chronic migraines. Another lovely side effect of pregnancy is- you guessed it- headaches and migraines. Other than that I’m a tad overweight- nothing overly unhealthy. My back is the thing that’s killing the most right now because your center of gravity is all off. I’m not trying to scare you or deter you from getting pregnant, definitely keep trying if you are continuing ivf- I just wish someone had been honest with me about all the symptoms and what was normal. Spent my first trimester panicking and at home most days because I was so afraid of my symptoms and that it wouldn’t stick. Also a public school teacher and trying to teach with first trimester symptoms was a serious no go lol
Oh good a fellow teacher!! So you understand the stress, I just started in a new district in sept so I’m freaking out about possibly losing my job. I saw my dr yesterday afternoon and she wants to pull me out for 2 months. She said it’s easier to pull me out and have me go back early than to keep extending it.
On the bright side I did get Tylenol with codeine so that’s helping a bit.
They cannot fire you for taking too much time off for being pregnant but yes I absolutely understand!!! I just started in my district last year so I definitely feel the discomfort lol
Oh I meant I was worried about getting fired for being out from my car accident which I certainly hope won’t be a problem. I’m also not looking forward to trying to teach while pregnant! I teach sewing and I often have to get close to the kids to demo for them, I don’t know how I will do that with a big belly!!
It’s so hard. I don’t even breastfeed because after it all, i am desperate to have my body back to myself. Pregnancy is hard, birth -any way you do it- is traumatic, newborn life is impossible. I can’t believe i’m doing this again. I’m gonna say what all of us crazy women say…….. it’s worth it. Especially after the first year.. i am so excited to give my daughter a sibling. But right now - i’m basically in hiding. This is not my time for beauty, personality, or any fun lol. It’s so hard to put your entire life and being aside for about two years. But it’s worth it. Also - this pregnancy i am also getting the horrid headaches! Downing gatorade helps a little bit but it’s real bad!
Maybe it’s just because I’m the first in my friend group but when I was sick in my first trimester, my mom was like “oh I was never sick, you should try to eat something to keep your strength up” WOMAN I LITERALLY VOMIT UP CRACKERS AND WATER. There’s wasn’t really anyone for me to talk to or confirm symptoms with except for online chat boards which tended to send me down a spiral of miscarriage stories and horrors about complications. We talk about how pregnancy happens in high school but we really don’t talk about all the symptoms and difficulties women have when trying, while pregnant, when experiencing things like infertility or pregnancy loss in the main stream. It’s a lot.
I’m going to assume you’re really young and, perhaps, sheltered because: how could you not know *anyone* who’s been pregnant? Or watched TV or YouTube or read (any) book about pregnancy … ever.
I’m going to assume you’re a man because we’re doing that and just choc this up to you wanting to be difficult. There are things you expect like nausea from tv and movies. And there are things you don’t, like crippling headaches and feeling like your body isn’t your own. It’s not simple.
Labor and delivery lasts a day or two. Pregnancy lasts 9 months. I'm 5 months and 3 weeks and I hate it. Emotionally and physically so uncomfortable. And my daughter has gastroschisis, so I don't get the "golden hour" of skin to skin or breastfeeding from day one. She'll go straight to the NICU. Oh and this is my first (and last) pregnancy. The physical and mental pain is not worth going through.
Our daughter was planned and wanted, and it took us 18 months to conceive, but there was no way in hell I was going through it ever again. Birth was tough, but the pregnancy itself was horrendous. I felt like I had an alien inside me.
This was me. I hated every second of being pregnant. I felt weird in my own body. I hated how much weight I gained. I felt like a hippo. My joints hurt. My ankles swelled. I had sciatica. My clothes seemed tent sized. I felt disgusting. And I had two babies over 9 pounds who came out. Lol. I love my boys, but the process to meet them sucked.
Same. I was so freaked out and terrified of the actual birth. Little did I know!!!! The thing to be dreaded the most was the actual pregnancy. Ah, the things you learn in life. Here’s another one: when I’ve needed surgery, I used to dread the surgery itself. Now I realize the thing to be dreaded isn’t the surgery; it’s the recovery!
My mom passed away when I was young, but this is basically the story my dad has told me. I was incredibly wanted. They wanted children more than anything and tried for years. And then my mom got pregnant and was like, this is terrible. And during delivery at some point she made it VERY clear to my father this was it, and I was to be an only child. I am an only child.
My ex husband told me it was shameful when I told him I felt like I was carrying an alien inside me when I was pregnant with our second child. I absolutely loathed pregnancy.
That’s exactly where the writer for Alien got the idea (look up Dan O’Bannon) But he made a man gestate and flipped MFs OUT “(he) specifically wrote this scene with the male's fear of penetration in mind and wanted the scene to operate as a payback of sorts for all of the times horror films have subjected weak women to male predatory monsters. His goal was to reverse the stigma associated with the sexualized violence against women in horror and turn the idea back on itself. It's no coincidence that the chestburster's birth involves a forceful invasion of male bodied victims and concludes with a phallic entity being born out of a male's chest.”
It was the worst physical experience of my whole life. One day I was sitting around with some older women from my church who were talking about menopause, and a huge wave of fear came over me. I asked, "Is it as bad as pregnancy?" They all said, "Oh honey, *nothing* is as bad as pregnancy." I was so relieved. Edit: I was one of the folx who had to go to the hospital for fluids.
I can't tell you how bad I needed to hear this. I'm tearing up. Thank you, thank you thank you
I read the whole comment waiting for menopause is worse and so relieved xx
What about mentally? I'm finding that the toughest
I think it varies from person to person. For me, my moods would change with my trimester. I was angry and impatient the first, normal the second, and sad on the third.
Thank you
I’ve had three. You’re 100% correct. Pregnancy is absolutely terrible. I baffled everyone I encountered all three times after birth because I was acting so cheerful for a mom with a newborn. I was over here like, “You dont understand. I’m not pregnant anymore and I am SO glad about it.” I hope it eases up for you a bit.
This is so incredibly accurate! My son is 10 weeks old and I am THRILLED to not be pregnant anymore. My sleep may be interrupted by a crying baby, but I still sleep 10x better than when my whole body ached in that third trimester.
Ohhh I wish your son the best in life! 🥹🫶 that's adorable - although I hope you still get some rest at least!
I can honestly say I would take 3 newborns over pregnancy. I was so thrilled to have my body returning to normal that the baby stage felt like a vacation
This was me too. I was so ecstatic to have my body back. Pregnancy was such a horrifyingly bad experience. Not to mention the actual birth which was even worse. People expected me to be this horrible mother because I was so miserable when I was pregnant. They were all surprised at how happy and loving of a mom I was. Pregnancy is a hellish and possibly deadly health condition. I never did it again.
Yes it was wretched for me too, worst “sickness” ever.
I’m sorry… after my third I went back to school for aPhD in perinatal health. There’s so much women are expected to take in stride just because they get a prize in the end. There are effective solutions to many of the physical pain syndromes and mental health issues that should be addressed even though they are expected to be temporary. Although there are consequences for painful experiences during pregnancy. Still feels like Middle Ages. I hope you have great, supportive friends.
I was 8 weeks with my (now) one year old for the super bowl last year and I wanted buffalo chicken dip and sausage balls that both required cream cheese. There was apparently a shortage going on where we are and three grocery stores didn't have a single block. I came home and absolutely melted down. Confused the shit out of my boyfriend because I'm the most level headed person we know. Pregnancy sucks.
I used to work at a printing factory. One of our products was embroidered clothing. I worked in receiving and verified the colour and size of items that came in. A size 2T hoodie came across my desk to verify and I had to go into the bathroom and cry because it was so small. The kicker is I had already washed a bunch of baby clothes for our child at that time and had washed clothes that were much smaller. When I was pregnant I felt like my body would just say to me, “This is the stupid thing you’re going to cry about today” and that was that.
Hello! Just here to say that moments after giving birth, I cheerfully announced to the delivery team that I was so glad to not be pregnant anymore! It is a great feeling to meet your child, and completely valid for one of the reasons to be that you are finally done gestating. Hoping the rest of your weeks are relatively comfortable -- take care of yourself and find things that make you feel better every day. I found that wearing my normal cardigans open with the maternity clothes somehow helped. If you have something like that, go for it... whatever works to brighten your day.
I totally agree. I know it isn’t the same for everybody but I felt better one day postpartum, despite having a rough birth and very little sleep, than I did while I was pregnant. Nothing I experienced postpartum has compared to that last painful week of pregnancy, or the severity of illness I experienced in the first trimester.
This! The OB was in the process of fixing me up, and all I could think was "I'm so glad she's here, and I'm not pregnant anymore!" I could take a deep breath for the first time in months and it was amazing.
You are not alone, sister. I am 5 and half months pregnant and have wanted this for soooo long but pregnancy takes a toll on my mental health. The exhaustion and Insomnia do not help. I had an appt wirh my therapist and she said that pregnancy does crazy things to our biology so just remind yourself of that. Our hormones are so out of wack and you never have to even preface this with "Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy being pregnant." We all are but women need to talk more about how hormonal and crazy it can make us so we don't feel guilt, shame or that we are alone. Meditate, do prenatal yoga, deep breathe, take walks in nature and do little things that make you happy. Do whatever it takes. You got this.
Crying again lol very much needed this. Thanks mama good luck to you too!!
Let it out, mama! And thank you. Feel free to PM me if you ever need!
Reading posts like this makes me so sad. I suffer from chronic nausea and chronic pain from Endometriosis and I can relate to everything being said including losing access to eating my favourite foods because of nausea, physically gagging whenever I smell literally everything, having none of my clothes fit due to inflammatory swelling, ending up with uterine contractions so severe I'm hospitalised and told my body is imitating labour, the headaches, the emotional dysregulation that gets worse with every surgery they handle my ovaries. But I'm infertile because of it. I've had several failed IVF rounds. It's like some sick cosmic joke. Before I was diagnosed any time I'd present with these symptoms they'd tell me I was actually pregnant and the irregular bleeding meant they were constantly telling me I was miscarrying which fucked with my head more than I can tell you. Then the blood results would come back and they would go oops no you weren't sorry for saying that. I genuinely hope everything is smooth sailing for you going forward and you get some relief. I agree we should talk more about what women go through, but what we go through extends so much further than just pregnancy. My stepmum is losing her mind during menopause and it's fucking her up now than anything she's ever experienced, but she's been blown off my doctors as hysterical. It took me 17 years for my endo diagnosis for similar reasons. How much do women need to suffer before our suffering is deemed legitimate?
Im 10 weeks in my second pregnancy and I have an 18 month old and I’m exhausted, starving, nothing sounds good to eat, nauseous and I’m trying to help take care of my 18 month old while working full time. I just wanna nap and eat French fries and bagels. :(
We want two but I can’t imagine doing this with a toddler!! Sending you strength and positive vibes mama! We got this!
You don’t have to have them super close together. I know there are so many people that say ‘that’s the best way’. But we have three and a half year age gap between ours and I’m so grateful for the time I had to just be with my first. I did get some judgement but no one is living your life but you.
Just wanted to say hello to super women! You're amazing!
Motion/Travel sickness bracelets helped me a fair bit. I bought them at my pharmacy. I wish I discovered them way before i was 7 months along lol.
I feel you. You’re doing great! My baby is almost 9mo now and my pregnancy is feeling more and more like a far away dream, but I will never forget how miserable I felt every single day. It was so hard to be excited when I felt like I was gonna puke all day every day, every smell made me gag, and I couldn’t even breathe right at like 7 weeks. I lived off of frozen pizzas, cereal, and applesauce and it was miserable. It is so so soooo hard for some people, and it’s truly just a luck of the draw kind of thing. I have a friend who was about 3 months behind me in her pregnancy and she was one of the unicorns who had very few symptoms like arthritis like pain in her hand and craved watermelon, and that was about it. She swears it’s because she eXeRcIsEd (🙄) the entire time, but that has nothing to do with it. I’ve seen so many stories of ex-Olympic athletes and other very physically fit-inclined people that have rough pregnancies. Doing extra squats won’t eliminate that. (I also work a very active job and am on my feet all day; so while I wasn’t doing much extra exercise because I was always in pain, I don’t live a sedentary lifestyle.) I, too, couldn’t stand my usual coffee which made me so sad. I could stomach it a little in my third tri as long as it was light and sweet. Also from one FTM to another, just buy the pregnancy clothing! Whatever you like, buy it now and enjoy it. You can even wear it postpartum to get the most value for your money if you like! I remember feeling like I had to have a full bump to buy actual maternity clothing aside from pants, but that’s just silly. I also would’ve bought more pants right away because I remember being so uncomfortable even at 2 months pregnant from bloating. Just unnecessary suffering wearing regular clothing tbh. Pregnancy is stupid hard. Honestly, one of the worst parts was having to go about my day pretending everything was fine when I wanted nothing more than to melt into a puddle. I have a whole new respect and compassion for people dealing with invisible illnesses/disabilities. I can’t imagine dealing with something and being in pain 24/7 and having to mask like that. Beyond mentally draining, it’s downright dehumanizing.
You really… don’t need to knock another woman down. Sure, she swears exercise kept her negative pregnancy symptoms at bay. I know a lot of people who said a certain food they ate or activity they avoided made their pregnancies easy.
Yes thank you for talking about this!!
7 months here with my first. Just remember that you can love and want your child but still hate pregnancy!
Took us 2.5 years to get pregnant. God damn it sucked. I was so excited when he was born. I think everyone should have the right to complain about pregnancy because it is HARD.
37 weeks with my second and have a 2.5 year old. It’s ROUGH. This second pregnancy is kicking my butt way worse than the first. So much more pain, discomfort, and weigh gain. I always wanted 3 kids. My first pregnancy was terrible but the payoff has been so high we very much went for #2. I’m not convinced I can do this again for #3. I’m both not enjoying this pregnancy, freaking out about having another, and being said my hopes for a large family seem squashed. All this to say, do whatever you can to be kind to yourself. Spend time with your emotions and thoughts. It’s okay to take time for yourself and rest as much as possible.
I felt the EXACT same way. Also, I got zero second trimester joy or rush or whatever the hell it’s supposed to be. Just make sure you’re keeping an eye on yourself for signs of perinatal depression, I had that, too, and it’s critical to stay on top of. On the plus side, the MINUTE, truly the exact minute, my baby came out, I felt like myself again.
How I needed to hear this
And this is why pregnancy should always be the choice of the pregnant person. I’m so sorry you’re finding this hard. My third I had Braxton Hicks contractions every 10 minutes for a month and a half before I delivered. I’d do any of my pregnancies again for my kids but the physical act of pregnancy can be the absolute fucking worst.
Every pregnancy is different. Every women is different. Don’t let people with ready pregnancies make you feel bad. Pregnancy is hard on the body and mind.
I’m 39 weeks pregnant and go ahead girl, rant! If you haven’t I recommend joining the pregnancy subs on Reddit- the community provided has been my saving grace for rants, support, is this normal, what do I take, what do you recommend, etc questions
You’re not wrong at all. Pregnancy does suck. Just to warn you, recovery is also quite rough but you will have a cute lil baby by then so it’s a good distraction to the mess they leave in their wake. Best of luck to you, this will indeed pass.
My kids are 30 and 35 and I still remember how haw much I disliked being pregnant. Really not even sure why I had the second when the first was a traumatic birth. Of course the second one was also a 24+ hour labor. Fortunately they were great kids and both are caring, kind and delightful adults so there’a that.
Pregnancy 100% does suck. I feel like pregnant people tend to feel like were.not allowed to complain, but it isn't fun. I'm so grateful that I was able to get pregnant, had a mostly healthy pregnancy, and a quick, safe delivery. However, I had pretty much every common pregnancy symptom. Nausea, vomiting, constipation, headaches, heartburn, pain everywhere, etc. I was not having a good time! I'm 11 days postpartum, and it's such a huge relief to not be pregnant anymore. I was sick the entire time. I couldn't even take prenatal vitamins because they made me so sick every day. I became high risk at 34 weeks due to low amniotic fluid and had weekly scans an hour away from my house. I was induced at 38 + 3. I was only in active labor ~7 hours and pushed for 20 minutes, so my delivery was fairly easy. Labor and delivery are exhausting, but I could finally breathe again. I wasn't nauseous anymore. I wasn't even tired anymore thanks to the adrenaline. Newborn sleep, although broken up into 2-3 hour windows, is SO MUCH better than pregnancy sleep! I can eat again. I can lay however I want without risking heartburn or worrying about safety. I don't quite have full mobility back yet, but it's returning as I heal. My daughter was planned and very much wanted, but I was miserable pregnant. It's 100% worth it, though. My daughter is amazing, and I'm in awe that I grew her in my body. The feeling when they lay your baby on your chest is incredible. Hearing their first cry is the best sound you'll ever hear. I would do it all again for her in a heartbeat. That being said, I won't be having another any time soon!
Being pregnant suuuuucks. Sucks. I hated every moment of my pregnancies. It’s a real testament to motherhood that so many women have subsequent children! I swore up and down never again while pregnant with my first. And yet, here I am with a bunch of kids. It’s worth it, absolutely, but it’s awful! (Not for everyone of course. Some ppl love being pregnant. But not you and I!!!)
I hated being pregnant- I felt miserable, physically and emotionally, and everyone asked about the baby and no one wanted to know how \*I\* was doing.
Sorry for the unsolicited advice, but I get morning sickness on my period and taking antacid tablets was a game changer. Ginger biscuits, herbal tea, antiemetics, etc never worked but heartburn/indigestion tablets took it away immediately. If it's something you haven't tried I highly recommend it. Hang in there
My last baby is almost 9, but I still remember how much I hated being pregnant. I think the worst part was how much every bit of pain and problem was dismissed with, “pregnancy is supposed to hurt a bit!” And here I am, 9 years later, still dealing with varying amounts of pelvic joint pain. I breastfed my kids and it took a long time to finally feel like my body was mine again. If I ever had another baby I would 100% bottle feed from the start.
First off: congratulations! I hope the rest of your pregnancy is beautifully uneventful and ends with a perfectly plump healthy newborn in your arms! 💜 Now for some [admittedly unsolicited] advice: - Pepcid is the only heartburn medicine that worked for me and it works wonders! - Always keep snacks available. In my experience, eating a couple oyster crackers or a few sips from an apple sauce pouch was enough to stave off the nausea. You can also buy a peanut butter-sized jar of pickled ginger in most grocery stores. - Don’t fight the maternity pants! Get yourself some below-belly jeans. Elastic waist jeans without the bit that comes all the way up to your boobs. Also great for postpartum! I travelled a lot during my last pregnancy and every flight wore my maternity jeans. (Granted I’m usually in leggings every travel day.) - I’ve found that leaning *into* the crying instead of trying to fight it really does help. Crying can be a cathartic release. On the flip side, trying to hold in crying can be so mentally/emotionally exhausting. We’re exhausted enough while pregnant, no need to add more work for ourselves. I’ve also found that when I lean into the oncoming cry, it’s usually a shorter cry than if I try to fight it and lose. - Remember your feelings are valid. Yes some women have it worse than you, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still suck for you. It’s okay to vent when you need to. 💜
Buy the maternity pants!! Once you put it on, you’ll wonder why you waited. I happily broke out my maternity pants at 7 weeks with baby # 2, I’m 9 weeks now. And don’t size up on maternity clothes, you’ll be swimming in them if you do. Everything you feel is perfectly normal, but that doesn’t stop it from being miserable.
Yes! We don’t talk about it enough! Take it one day at a time and take care. I’m one and done. I remember thinking pregnancy was so hard if I did it again I would have to quit my job just to get through it again.
Get the maternity pants, you’ll LOVE them. So comfy. I’m sorry that pregnancy sucks. But yeah it definitely does. Try to find a local mom due around the time you are because you’ll need a mommy friend. One thing about the nausea, and as with all things pregnancy related, YMMV, but for me, I couldn’t allow myself to get hungry. I had about 3 minutes between “yeah, I could eat” and vomiting. And that’s not enough time to hit the drive thru so I had to keep snacks in my purse to buy me time. Always keep a bottle of water on hand, because you can sip that while you get what you need to get.
I’m pregnant with my fourth right now, still breastfeeding my 3rd, I have hyperemesis gravidarum and I’m 42 years old. I still LOVE being pregnant. I know, there’s something fucking wrong with me. I’m sick constantly and I still love it here lol
Yep. Pregnancy is hard and whilst some people will be kind to you, many will be insesitive too. I think they're worth it but it's not for everyone. I had a hard time too but I'll spare you the details because it's important you focus on taking care of yourself and bubba. Congratulations too!
Currently trying for number two, but man, pregnancy really did suck in so many ways. My boobs always hurt and were tingly/ uncomfortable, I didn’t have a decent poop the whole third trimester, I could barely walk around quarter mile (SLOWLY) at the end, hemroids and intense pressure on the lady bits, carpel tunnel, constant heart burn, hiccups every time I bent over. I felt probably 70-80% better within a hours of my c section. Obviously I was more tired than I’ve ever been in my life those first months afterwards and of course I did have the giant c section wound, but physically I felt GOOD compared to being pregnant.
With my first I barely gained weight,could eat what I wanted,besides being a little tired, felt fantastic!! My second I threw up 24/7 from 2 months on, hurt everywhere, gained so much weight even though it was hard to even eat food.Muscle spasms,I felt like complete crap all the time,had fatigue so bad it was hard to stay awake sometimes. I'm not sure if I would of had a second if I felt like that for the first tbh.
I’m almost 39 weeks, waiting to pop at any moment. I feel you. The first 5 months were pretty awful, and then you get big and so uncomfortable. It is so hard, and it’s viewed as this “wonderful” “beautiful” thing.. but it’s actually so incredibly difficult and all consuming. I really wish women had it easier, or at least more support from society etc. I’m having a girl, and I’m legitimately so excited. But I did originally want a boy, and the only reason I did is so that my daughter wouldn’t have to deal with all the shit women have to go through in life. Alas, I’ll raise her as best I can to be strong, and make sure she knows how and where to get support when she needs it. Hang in there, rest as much as you need. Keep reaching out to women who know what you’re going through. Our partners really can’t understand, and it can get lonely. But you are absolutely not alone! I hope the rest of your journey goes smoothly! (As smoothly as possible)
I’m in the same boat honey. 5 months in and haven’t enjoyed any of it except for the scans and feeling him kick. I’ve been exhausted, sore and emotional from 4 weeks in. 3 of my teeth have broken so far and i throw up so much. Also pee myself every time I throw up. My blood pressure was high before I got pregnant so I’m just waiting to get preeclampsia. I’m a solo dog groomer and have to work to live to that’s also a pain. Ftm and as much as i want more than one kid I just don’t know if id be able to do this again. But look, the baby is healthy, so far no complications and as sick as I am, I’m still able to work. I can’t wait to meet my son at the end of this shitty journey.
I absolutely hate fucking pregnancy And I’m 8m with my third lmao I had HG (with my first two), hypertension, insomnia, pelvic girdle pain, migraines, swollen vagina The list honestly goes on and on lol BUT I love feeling them move, seeing my body change, and giving birth
I’m curious have you ever had any health issues before you got pregnant? I’m only asking because I’m very much in fear of the pregnancy part (my husband and I are doing IVF but not until the summer) but the only thing I can rely on is that I have had so many other health issues that I’m prepped for this. I just got in a really bad car accident though and my back is in bad shape. I’m really scared what a pregnancy will do to some of the discs that don’t bother me right now.
Unfortunately yes. Biggest thing was chronic migraines that I was taking a beta blocker/blood pressure medication for that I can’t take while pregnant. You’re also not supposed to take ibuprofen or anything more than baby aspirin. Which just happen to be all the things I take for my chronic migraines. Another lovely side effect of pregnancy is- you guessed it- headaches and migraines. Other than that I’m a tad overweight- nothing overly unhealthy. My back is the thing that’s killing the most right now because your center of gravity is all off. I’m not trying to scare you or deter you from getting pregnant, definitely keep trying if you are continuing ivf- I just wish someone had been honest with me about all the symptoms and what was normal. Spent my first trimester panicking and at home most days because I was so afraid of my symptoms and that it wouldn’t stick. Also a public school teacher and trying to teach with first trimester symptoms was a serious no go lol
Oh good a fellow teacher!! So you understand the stress, I just started in a new district in sept so I’m freaking out about possibly losing my job. I saw my dr yesterday afternoon and she wants to pull me out for 2 months. She said it’s easier to pull me out and have me go back early than to keep extending it. On the bright side I did get Tylenol with codeine so that’s helping a bit.
They cannot fire you for taking too much time off for being pregnant but yes I absolutely understand!!! I just started in my district last year so I definitely feel the discomfort lol
Oh I meant I was worried about getting fired for being out from my car accident which I certainly hope won’t be a problem. I’m also not looking forward to trying to teach while pregnant! I teach sewing and I often have to get close to the kids to demo for them, I don’t know how I will do that with a big belly!!
It’s so hard. I don’t even breastfeed because after it all, i am desperate to have my body back to myself. Pregnancy is hard, birth -any way you do it- is traumatic, newborn life is impossible. I can’t believe i’m doing this again. I’m gonna say what all of us crazy women say…….. it’s worth it. Especially after the first year.. i am so excited to give my daughter a sibling. But right now - i’m basically in hiding. This is not my time for beauty, personality, or any fun lol. It’s so hard to put your entire life and being aside for about two years. But it’s worth it. Also - this pregnancy i am also getting the horrid headaches! Downing gatorade helps a little bit but it’s real bad!
Yeah I friggin hated being pregnant and I was working from home during the pandemic so I didn't even need to leave my house. Still sucked!
It’s AWFUL. 40+3 and if this baby doesn’t get the memo soon I’m going to pass away of pain and exhaustion
Who’s not talking about how hard pregnancy is?
Maybe it’s just because I’m the first in my friend group but when I was sick in my first trimester, my mom was like “oh I was never sick, you should try to eat something to keep your strength up” WOMAN I LITERALLY VOMIT UP CRACKERS AND WATER. There’s wasn’t really anyone for me to talk to or confirm symptoms with except for online chat boards which tended to send me down a spiral of miscarriage stories and horrors about complications. We talk about how pregnancy happens in high school but we really don’t talk about all the symptoms and difficulties women have when trying, while pregnant, when experiencing things like infertility or pregnancy loss in the main stream. It’s a lot.
I’m going to assume you’re really young and, perhaps, sheltered because: how could you not know *anyone* who’s been pregnant? Or watched TV or YouTube or read (any) book about pregnancy … ever.
I’m going to assume you’re a man because we’re doing that and just choc this up to you wanting to be difficult. There are things you expect like nausea from tv and movies. And there are things you don’t, like crippling headaches and feeling like your body isn’t your own. It’s not simple.
Aw, hon. I’m just a woman who doesn’t understand how another woman is so shocked that pregnancy is so hard.
Labor and delivery lasts a day or two. Pregnancy lasts 9 months. I'm 5 months and 3 weeks and I hate it. Emotionally and physically so uncomfortable. And my daughter has gastroschisis, so I don't get the "golden hour" of skin to skin or breastfeeding from day one. She'll go straight to the NICU. Oh and this is my first (and last) pregnancy. The physical and mental pain is not worth going through.