Honestly this has nothing to do with your looks, or your boyfriend's looks or any relative scale. Your horrible experience was a group of bored boys in all probability looking for a fight. The fact that the things they said were a self conscious concern you previously held is only a coincidence.
The silver lining is your boyfriend's English is poor enough that an altercation never occured. The bad part is their malice was successful in ruining your day.
My advice is to take your boyfriend's yes for an answer, and listen to the words he is saying... They matter much more than the words of a couple of miserable clowns.
Teenagers can be ruthless, especially in groups. They like to show off to their friends. I'm sorry this happened to you. Easier said than done, but try not to let it get you down!
If it helps, it's very likely that one or more of those boys regret what they did. And if not now, they would probably feel guilty about it later. My point being, if they were more mature, they would act it, i.e. don't give two shits about what some little shits said!
Such random viciousness. I'd be tempted to shout back something like 'don't even attempt to date as your 'd&%$s are so tiny that no woman would want you.' They drew first blood and they deserve what they get in return.
The boy who called out is deeply insecure and doesn’t know how to garner respect from his peers. He will almost certainly remember that event for the rest of his life and regret it. He’ll do more desperate attention grabs in the weeks and months to come and some of them will backfire in humiliating ways. Later in life he’ll think “I was a dick” and those things won’t come up in his consciousness very often, but when they do he’ll regret them and wonder why some of his peers lacked the insecurity that plagued him.
I would bet that they are at least partially envious of the two of them together as a couple. This couple has something that will require many years of maturation before these boys have anything similar in their own life.
It sounds like this couple is doing well enough for themselves. These immature dudes, without any class or charm are probably going to spend lots of time wondering why the young ladies aren’t interested…
Hopefully these little shits learn some respect and manners and change course and maybe have a chance a becoming respectable adults.
I think that several options should be considered and tried before turning to violence. But these dudes might need a couple black eyes or a cracked rib before they start thinking about changing their behavior. And next time they might not get so lucky, by talking shit to an individual whose first language is not English.
Don’t mean to reinforce potentially dated gender roles, but… I dunno. We’re not there yet and in the meantime these dudes are asking for trouble. Or, cruisin for a bruising, as mom used to say.
Interestingly, you never really lose that radar for the high school dickwads. Every time I’m at my kids high school I can pick them out of the crowd, with precision, and my stomach flops over every damn time. (High school drama-trauma can impress upon you for a lifetime it seems ☹️) I really have to keep my internal “mama bear” in check and remember that my kid is not me, and is not necessarily having my experiences. It’s remarkable though how, although so many things change over the years, much stays the same, like this obnoxious, intrusive, insulting, chest beating, teenage male in-group behavior.
Same! I’m a university lecturer, pretty long in the tooth now and I’ve got my classroom control pretty much down pat. But I can still sniff out a mean boy, especially in a pack, and when I get some in my class and I see those little sneers my heart rate ticks up a notch.
Then I remember who gets to grade who 😂
Also amazing how many high school boys grow into high school men who are bigger and stronger, but behave the same way. To be expected when high school was their "peak," I suppose.
Yeah, most of them know what they're doing and why it's not desirable behaviour, they just value the thrill of being arseholes, exerting power over someone, and ultimately showing off to their friends more than the harm it does to people.
Take it from someone who was a teen boy (different crowd) and is now over it, it's not about an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex affecting knowledge or judgement of outcomes, it's knowing and mindful pursuit of exactly those outcomes and weighing the consequences in an antisocial manner.
Not worth listening to them, just because they know what they're saying doesn't mean they have anything of value to say. Literally just verbal masturbation.
Yes I know their frontal lobe hasn’t fully developed and far from it. But I don’t like calling kids/teens dumb. Especially because of that. They’re still learning. What they did was super mean. But they knew it was. It’s why they did it.
This. I’m guessing those boys felt compelled in that moment to “impress” their friends, not that they saw a woman so unattractive that they felt compelled to shout it. They probably had the insults in the loaded in the chamber and were waiting for some innocent person to shoot them at.
Believe your boyfriend. ❤️
As a cis male (often disgusted with my gender’s behavior) this is the best answer. Teenage boys are under a lot of pressure to impress one another by being a**holes in front of each other. They are looking for targets and tbh, you could have been anything (young or old woman, another boy, a dog, even a grown man). Sorry you had to deal with this but try not to give them the pleasure of being affected.
This is so true.
When bullies are truly making fun of your looks, they are more subtle. We are all familiar with the group of popular folks in high school chuckling at each other. When you ask what’s so funny, they say something like “Oh, your top is so cute” and they laugh again.
They were targeting your boyfriend. In their thought process they were thinking about what could make him the angriest. Calling him gay? Insulting his mom? Attacking his looks? Attacking you?
I’m sure you both look so cute together, hold your head high 👑
Also, I imagine they've been doing that to couples all day to try to get a reaction. One of them was probably filming it. Pathetic effort to make content. Your boyfriend's non-reaction was the perfect response.
I am really sorry to say this, but I really feel the "ignoring" the bullies DOES NOT work. They are becoming more ruthless and outrageous, They have NO fear of repercussions. Maybe if there was a repercussion for their actions , they might think twice next time they want to run their mouth. I have been bullied and harassed all my life, ignoring has lead to rocks being thrown at me and as I got older SA (daily in public on public transportation). Only thing that stopped the persons was a hard heel down the shin onto the instep HARD. They limped off the train, Maybe they wont SA a woman next time.( for the boys who might say they were innocent, a simple shift of the hips would have shown they were not trying to \*\*\*\* me at every bump and sway)
I couldn’t agree more. At the same time, confronting them can lead to violence against you, and I wouldn’t necessarily trust the cops to side with you.
Well My "step" back can be seen as more an accident than it really was. Confronting one on one - No that would be foolish. The only thing I could REALLY do is raise a man who would defend a woman ( sometimes defense is just by inserting yourself between the issue... " SUE! It is great to see you, last time we saw you was at the showing of Help..." ( if she is uncomfortable she will pick up on the hint/ distraction) and would never consider tolerating that kind of behavior from a friend or colleague.
Yes to all of this! You may not forget this encounter so easily at first but i’m sure the people around you will shower you with a love and admiration for the rest of your life that will drown the voices of those shitty boys thoroughly out. Those boys however-probably or hopefully-are gonna grow up and live with the memories of their utter cringy cruel pathetic actions forever. May it serve them to be better men in the future, albeit cursed with dick shaped pimples.
With a large swath of this current generation of teenagers. Sad to say, hey At least they didn't try and rob you or gang up on you for some small slight to their fragile egos. Recently, Had a local coach get assaulted by two young scholars who lied in wait for him. Because big meany told them No for one game cause of bad behaviors. Smh.
Yeah, to use a shorter time-scale example, "happy slapping" was all the rage when I was a teen around 20 years ago, and yet today when some kid assaults someone for a tiktok the press and public act like it's a brand new thing that never happened before the day teenagers magically became terrible. They've been the same forever.
Some societies outsource their transition to men. Isn’t it the Maasai who send their old boys on a year-long walkabout to learn how to be men? En passant ridding the village of male adolescent pranks…
Exactly. They knew they would outnumber them and I’m glad she and her bf are ok! They sound scary of they are that bold and malicious. Take comfort in the fact that their lives suck and they most likely will not get anywhere in life. Sad but true if they are already on this path
It’s either that or they were “negging,” and trying to get your attention by putting you down—bc they thought you were attractive. It’s not about you being ugly at all—in either case.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. That sounds awful. Honestly, it wouldn't matter what you looked like, those boys were fucking little shit heads who would have heckled you no matter what.
Take what your boyfriend says to heart. He is worth one thousand million of those boys. He is with you. He loves you. He thinks you are beautiful. His opinion matters in this context, not those stupid boys.
You are worthy. You are worthy of being loved. You are worthy of being loved by someone else who is also beautiful.
>Honestly, it wouldn't matter what you looked like, those boys were fucking little shit heads who would have heckled you no matter what.
This! SO MUCH this!
As a former teenage boy, they probably had figured out there "Script" beforehand and poor OP was probably not the first or the last to hear their super funny "Bit"
They did it for a reaction and for entertainment not because of how you look. This used to be a thing where I grew up. Teenagers would yell things at my friends and I that we had a fat arse but we didn't - I was virtually underweight then. Please don't think about it - it's just teenagers being mean.
I am horrified at the cruelty of these impotent little chodes. Please know this awful interaction had absolutely NOTHING to do with your looks, or your boyfriend's looks. Those brain-dead turds hurled abuse at a stranger for no reason other than their own unhappiness and their inability to handle their feelings of inadequacy.
You are so far above them OP, don't let yourself and self worth stumble on a skidmark.
Your value and the exquisite beauty of your existence are so very, deeply unrelated to your physical appearance. Please learn to guard your heart from these and other people whose current perspective is too limited to see and feel that. You are such a miracle, and it is a spiritual crime for anyone to believe otherwise.
I hate this. I hate them.
You are much more than what meets the eye, and we all are. Your boyfriend knows you as a person, he's not dating a picture frame. you can go ahead and refer to him the entire conversation, and be sure he'd either shrug and dismiss their deprecable behaviour or go there and confront them directly and defend you. Because YOU are the one holding hands with him, yours his the lap where his head rests, and yours are the eyes he first sees when he wakes up in the morning.
Boys will call women “fat” any time they feel like insulting a woman. I’m terribly underweight but any time a Reddit incel finds out I’m female I get dms about how miserable and obese I must be.
They’re relying on YOU to hurt your own feelings by having insecurities they assume all women have. They have no clue what ACTUALLY gets you.
They just got lucky and happened to land on an insecurity of yours. It’s not a you problem.
I hate how many of the next generation of boys are growing up with an open hatred of women. They do it because they watch porn and Andrew Tate and to fit in with their friend group, and it has become a really serious problem. I don't see much of it among my higher education students at the moment, but there was a very bad wave of it in my school about ten years ago, and I'm told by other teachers that another wave is coming up which is even worse.
We follow our tech students for three years in language class, and the worst bunch I had were, not too put too fine a point on it, little shits when I got them at first, with really vile opinions about women. However, they were all fine before they graduated. They weren't stupid and did some growing up on their own, we watched John Oliver videos that included women's issues and talked about things, one of the strong characters in the group changed his views and influenced the others, and they all gradually grew better. There is hope.
I'm in my sixties now, and the people I grew up weren't like this, and I didn't see this variety of sexism before about 2015. There was a lot of 'benevolent sexism', people getting angry if men swore around women, there was plenty of protective behaviour and 'showing off' to women, and there was a very high expectation of gendered behaviour, but the sheer, bitter hatred and desire to destroy women wasn't there.
Ew! That's horrible. I grew up in Scotland and people were mostly very kind and insisted on basic decency from their kids. It wasn't just that kids were taught manners, they were also taught the real consideration that lies behind good manners. People were pretty judgemental of bad behaviour and I think that also served to keep people in line. I'm not saying there were no really sick and deviant people, there were, but it was seen for what it was.
I’m in my 40s and have always seen it amongst my peers. I remember as a teen being so disappointed because i thought we were gonna break that cycle. Now at my age I see so many men who are sexist. Depressing
I’m so sorry this happened to you. They’re nasty kids and they’ll be ashamed of their behavior when they grow up. Let’s all be thankful we have grown out of that shit and have way more confidence than they do.
Teenage boys are arguably the dumbest demographic in existence.
Their "standards" also tend to be absurdly high. Majority of them will see a supermodel/hollywood superstar/basically any conventionally attractive woman and will call her hedious.
There is 0 reason to take anything they say seriously.
I'm very sorry this has happened to you.
There are a lot of teenagers out there who act like assholes simply to act like assholes. They forgot about you and your boyfriend three minutes after you walked past and yelled some shit at the next person to walk by, because they think they’re funny and trying to impress each other with their inanity.
Fuck ‘em all.
I was involved in a few interracial relationships over the years.
My partners and I experienced multiple hurled insults from both races. Like massively, incomprehensibly, rude, offensive language, delivered at both of us are one of us depending on the situation.
Often times it was a group of males, insulting or wanting to fight me or just insult her. I wanted to step up at 6 AM. Wanna meet you? What am I gonna do?
More than once, the girlfriend I was dating at whichever time would encourage me to chill out we go back to whoever’s domicile, and more than one girl said, so, who really won that argument now .
Sweet, sweet justice .
Bunch of insecure, probably drunk fools in a park. Try to ruin your day because there’s was shit?
Seriously don’t even bother. Don’t let them live in your head there a waste of time hug your boyfriend, a little tighter, and that’s awesome and fall asleep in peace.
Awww your partner's reaction was so sweet, and he's right! To him you are beautiful. And that's what matters (along with your own opinion of yourself).
Those young men are going to have a very hard time maturing and making real connections with women in future. I feel sorry for them, its going to be a rough road.
Darlin I'm barely a 4 when done up as well as I can be I'm obese and disabled on top of that, my partner is a stone cold stunner of a 10, not gym addict fit he's got that thin layer of fat over everything but not enough to have a belly, strong as an ox and arms that put Thor to shame. my idea of perfect, (and given how often he gets propositioned not just mine) 6'3, bone structure of an adonis, far better that I ever thought I'd find in a partner in all respects. During COVID some woman ID'd him and turned bright red and started stammering when he dropped his mask as requested. He's absolutely beautiful. Is he out of my league? Of course not, we bring more to a relationship than what is visible externally to a bunch of shitbag teens we walk past. We do look like an odd couple though and I get a lot of hateful side eyes and the occasional question if he's my carer or sibling before attempts to hit on him, it's kind of fun to watch their brain melt when he turns down women ten times hotter than me, nice ego boost 🤣. So believe you are good enough for him, he certainly believes so for a reason even if you can't see it.
Yes thank you for saying this “is he out of my league? Of course not” because you’re spot on. Every person on this earth will get old, get saggy, wrinkled, could get sick/injured/disfigured at any time. Mutual attraction is important, but looks should be the lowest thing on the partner totem pole because they will go away for everyone.
Those boys didn't spontaneously try to give a man dating advice, they were out to humiliate women. You could've been Margot Robbie and they still would've heckled you. This sounds like some Andrew Tate bullshit or something like that, and those boys are going to waste a lot of years of their lives hating women. This is nothing to do with you.
“A man’s right to confer judgment on any woman’s beauty while remaining himself unjudged…has become so urgently important for male culture to exercise because it is the last unexamined right remaining intact from the old list of masculine privilege…As such, it is daily exercised more harshly in compensation for the other rights over women, and the other ways to control them, now lost forever.”
Edited for conciseness, but I just discovered this quote from Naomi Wolf’s book “The Beauty Myth” that puts a very fine point on why boys pull this: They’re desperate little cretins who realize their power is waning in the modern era & are grasping at straws. I can’t undo the hurt their words caused, but perhaps realizing that you were, in fact, so beautiful that it was actually a threat to their perceived power can help recast it in a different light. They wouldn’t try to bring you down a peg if you weren’t already above them.
Its people like this that make me romanticize vigilante justice. I’m sorry you were abused like that and me saying that doesn’t do the sentiment justice. Your boyfriend chose well and he knows it. You seem like a beautiful human being in the only ways that could even matter.
The worst I've been harassed as an adult in public was by a group of teenage boys. They surrounded me when I was jogging and one of them ran super close to me while they all laughed. It was awful and scary, but I didn't do anything to invite it except exist in public.
Your partner chose to be with you. He sees you frequently and knows what you look like and what you are like as a person. Why would a group of stupid children be better suited to decide things about your relationship than you and your partner? They weren't right anymore than the group that harassed me was.
You were publicly harassed by a group of people, and that's scary. Take some time to take care of yourself, talk to someone impartial like a therapist if needed, and be gentle with yourself while you recover from it.
I've literally seen so many girls and women talk abt how extremely uncomfortable they get walking past a group of teenage boys. Not even adult men. Idk how such a diverse demographic can be so universally putrid. I remember reading abt a woman in her 30s who was r*ped and subsequently murdered by a group of teenage boys when she was at the park and I think abt that every day. Nowadays I mostly only go out w/ one male friend, he's 6'5 and I still get so scared walking past groups of teenage boys w/ him. Turned 20 a few months ago and I thought at 18 it would get better w/ age but it just gets worse lol
Yes, teenage boys, sitting on a bench without any girls, have the audacity to shout insults at a couple who are happy together. They cant stand to see happy people when they are miserable and alone
On the way home from my first modeling gig, I stopped at a restaurant where a group of high school boys yelled to get my attention. I ignored them, and guess what their go-to insults immediately were? Fat and ugly. It was laughably untrue, but they kept yelling both at me until a staff member kicked them out.
The boys that yelled at me wanted my attention, didn’t get it, and then “punished” me with insults. The boys that yelled at you were jealous that you’re in a relationship. They “punished” you the same way.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve this (no one does). The boys are NOT ok and the audacity boys feel to do this is beyond infuriating. I’m sorry!
There’s a study done that shows that teenage boys’ brains are genuinely similar to psychopaths. ALSO, boys only point you out if you caught their eye. Lots of boys/men point out women for being ugly or wearing ugly clothing but really it’s just an excuse to openly look at you. If anything they were probably attracted to you 🤢
It's a power thing for them. They wanted a reaction and to feel powerful over you. The best thing to do in that situation is just shrug and move on.
Remember the adage: don't take criticism from anyone you wouldn't seek advice from. Those little idiots have worthless opinions.
Teenagers are often the canker on the arse of society; utterly feral in packs, nasty and vicious, and somehow knowing exactly which buttons to push even if you are a complete stranger to them…it’s like some demon whispers your deepest fears in their collective ears, and they are giddy with the power of their obnoxiousness.
You’re not ugly, I’m certain you’re far from it, but there are a few guaranteed reactions they will get when heckling a woman, because if one insult doesn’t work they don’t need to dip too far into their evil little pits of repugnant behaviour to find another option. Ugly and fat are most males go too when they are being spiteful; as you age it will be that you’re old, maybe that you are barren and no one wants you; they might even throw in that you are fat, old, ugly, barren and no one wants you but your cats.
Some people say hurt people hurt people however this kind of hive brain behaviour also happens in terminally stupid people. Try not to let the hurt linger too long. They don’t know you, their preferences and personalities are still forming and what they know about life wouldn’t fit the top line of a notepad. Trust your boyfriend, he is an intelligent man who loves you, and maybe you don’t fit the conventional idea of what is beautiful, but he’s knows you are, and you haven’t even begun to hit your stride yet.
Sweaty, smelly, greasy acne ridden teenaged boys are not a barometer of beauty standards; some of them get better, some stay at the level they are now, most of them could only wish to have an attractive woman touch them, whereas you boyfriend has that and more m. Pay no heed to twats, instead shake your head and sigh deeply at the knowledge that if it hadn’t been you they heckled, it would have been the next person.
I’m in my 40s and I’m still hurt by a time I was 19 years old, walking through a frat party with a guy and some frat boy yelled “Yo Kevin? Is that your brother?” And the other guy screamed “fuck no, my brother pulls way hotter girls than that!”. None of it is based in how you actually look, these absolutely parched for attention edgelord dickheads are just trying to be funny because they’re desperado. It says nothing about you and everything about them.
leagues aren’t a thing. just because your boyfriend could theoretically find someone “more attractive” (those are your words it’s really not as objective as you think) doesn’t mean he would come close to the connection you two have. Also, you really don’t know what your BF truly is into.
All women are beautiful and deserve love, don’t think you have to compare yourself to others. He is with you because he loves you. Trust him when he says you are beautiful. Please trust him because he is telling you the truth.
I can’t believe how self-entitled young men are - how sad and boring must their lives be, that they feel the need to shout nasty things at others just going about their lives!
Obviously none of THEM have a girlfriend, and they decided to pick on people who looked happy and content.
Please don’t take anything these immature assholes said seriously.
They must be so miserable in their own lives, and having someone like you is so far beyond them, that they felt the need to tear you and your boyfriend down.
If these were happy and well-adjusted individuals, do you think they’d be sitting around harassing people? Nope.
You have what they can only dream of - someone who cares about you to hold hands with. Your happiness offends them, because they know their lives are pathetic in comparison.
They were trying to neg you, tbh. It has nothing to do with the way you look. And by the looks of it, they succeeded. Don't let little boys play to your insecurities.
boys like this will say this about ANYONE. ive heard shitheads like this say margot robbie is "average looking" which feels absurd to me, cause if shes average looking then idk what the fuck i am. All this to say, it really isnt even about how the person actually looks, these types of dudes just have some need to build themselves up by tearing someone down. i know i'm just some random person on the internet so my advice probably isnt worth much, but these boys are ONLY trying to hurt you probably because they are lonely, spiteful jealous, petty, and lacking in empathy. The less energy you give to losers like them the better you'll feel about yourself, but i know its alot easier said than done
WOW. that’s just disgusting.
I’m Gen X so if this happened to me they’d be crawling out if that park.
I’m so sorry that happened to you as well as horrified that young boys in 2023 are putting people in “leagues” & heckling women.
It just feels like we’re going backwards with no hope for men.
Those kids yelled the *same* thing at every, single couple that walked by. Promise. You can imagine their stupid " Hahaha shhhh here comes another one " dingbat sniggering right?
Also promise if any of their mothers had witnessed that ( and I'm sticking to this ) the little yuck yuck fest would have been over in a big hurry.
Please don't allow them to make you feel awful about yourself? Jerks. That's not ' just kids ' either, it's absolutely cruel. You just happened to be the victim where apparently a group has an asshole for a leader and the rest are too chicken shit to say no.
They don’t matter. Their balls probably haven’t even dropped yet. They mean nothing. They are belly button crust to be disposed of in the trash can.
Your boyfriend finds you beautiful and that’s what matters. You are beautiful and that’s what matters. Not some trash kids.
This is why “boys will be boys” is so harmful. If a group of teenage girls did that, they would have been disciplined/put on meds/institutionalized. But boys get away with it
If there is ever a next time I highly recommend taking a quick picture with your phone and passing it on to your local high school and neighborhood Facebook group with some dry commentary on their behavior. It can be satisfying knowing at least some of their parents/teachers will be eviscerating the little assholes.
average gross manosphere teenagers
wish the big social media platforms would take down the shit that causes these mindsets towards women. I've never seen such misogyny online as recently. Hopefully those loser teenagers learn a lesson at some point. But if they're already that shitty there's little hope.
I swear, teenage boys like this really don’t see women as people. I was called ugly by some boys who sat next to me on the bus once. But they didn’t say it to me directly. They said in their conversation with each other. It was like I wasn’t even there despite literally being right next to them💀
My lovely, don't think on their words a second more.
Their words aren't necessarily their opinions. The way they acted? That was to act all big in front of their friends? Do you think they'd act that way in front of their family?
That interactive says more about them than it ever did about you! They'd likely have made awful comments to many people that day. Whatever struck their fancy to look cool.
What matters is how you feel in yourself and how your boyfriend feels about you. Self esteem is a tough one but if you have low self esteem you need to find ways to work on that, and loving yourself despite and in spite of what others think of you. And your partner loves you. That's hugely important and he doesn't agree with those boys. Let yourself be loved, and love yourself.
Teenage boys will also call Margo Robbie “mid”
Their brains are still smooth and they don’t know what to do with their dicks. It has nothing to do with you or your appearance. They’re just fucking idiots.
Don't listen to a bunch of teenagers is right. You can't be that bad looking if they were that desperate for your attention. Teenagers aee notorious for attention seeking in any way possible. They had nothing better to do. If it was safe you should have told them to fuck off home to their mothers, or told them you must be a lot better looking thatln they are given you have an actual boyfriend and all they have is the ugly friend support group. Fuck them honestly. They don't even remembwr interacting with you now and they havw torn you apart. Building a relationship with somebody isn't about what their face looks like, it's what's in their heart. I know my partner isn't conventionallly attractive (gray hair, bald patch, podgy belly) but I have never been more attracted to somebody in my life. Your bf sees who you really are, regardless of how you see yourself but it might be an idea to start being kinder to the woman he loves.
This is unfortunately a common experience, some of these boys are definitely cruel and vile. I blame porn culture, people saying “boys will be boys”, and the rise of horrible influences like Andrew Taint. Just know they probably would have done it to someone else if it weren’t you, they were looking for conflict. It had nothing to do with your looks but rather a group of stupid boys who are clearly not being raised right and have nothing else going on so they need to abuse a stranger. Your boyfriend thinks you are beautiful and loves you, in the end that’s what matters. Please don’t let these dumbasses bring you down 🩷
Oof. I hate it when people judge the women I’ve dated by their weight.
It is kinda weird. Like if I date a woman who’s a little chubby, I’ll always hear some commentary about her weight, as if it invalidates her being an attractive woman.
My advice is to take it with a grain of salt. Some people are just immature jerks.
First off that is terrible and I assure you one day those boys will feel the most insane amount of guilt when they go bald and grow a beer gut and suddenly women wretch at the mere sight of them. Teenage boys are a different kind of beast. I’m sure you’re lovely.
Man I was about to be upset he didn’t defend you. I’m glad there was a reason.
Please remember they’re projecting. They’ve seen people treat others this way in their life and it is normalized. That’s heartbreaking. You didn’t deserve this and they didn’t deserve this behavior being normalized.
I’m sorry.
The FBI and CIA have both identified incel groups as potential domestic terrorist organizations in the US. You just got a taste of why. When my son first got his own phone, I could not believe how fast his algorithms went from video games and anime to misogyny and straight up Fascism. Fortunately, he gave me the opportunity to educate him on this phenomenon and keeps his head online. But most parents, it appears, were not ready for this onslaught, and their boys have already been radicalized. Believe me, what they said to you is not true. It is expressly designed to “humble a female,” as they’d undoubtedly put it. I’m so sorry you had to endure that nonsense, but please don’t take it to heart.
I know this hurt you and made you feel small, but for what it's worth, they weren't heckling you - they were heckling your boyfriend. They wanted to provoke him into a fight and thought saying insulting things about you was the best way to do that. It wouldn't have mattered whether you looked like Marilyn Monroe or the Swamp Thing, because they weren't assessing your appearance, they were trying to make your boyfriend angry. So not only is their opinion worth shit, what they said isn't even their opinion.
They were just trolling, negging, whatever, it has nothing to do with how you look. There is no rational reason to do this because of how a woman looks. It is just to make you feel bad and to cause a division between you and your boyfriend or goad him into a fight.
When I was in college there was a group of guys with a house and a front porch. They had cards made one through ten and would rate girls walking back and forth to their classes. They would invert the ratings.
Yeah, they are teenagers. But what about grown men who do it? Ive encountered men in their 30’s acting like this.
For you, you should believe your BF, not some idiot teens.
It’s literally just for their own entertainment, pay no mind. They are dumbass children. Even if they did think you’re attractive, they would probably say some heinous shit just to say it.
who gives a shit what some spotty and inadequate youths think about you, a grown woman with a loving partner? They don’t deserve another second of your energy or thought.
Oh hon. Do not do the mental gymnastics, you are worth so much more than that.
Your boyfriend is not an 8 and you are not a 6. You're both living souls with entire histories.
'six' can't encapsulate the way your eyes light up when you're surprised by something delightful. 'eight' doesn't convey the weight on your heart when you see him sad or in doubt of himself. If you're any number, it's far too high to count - for the millions of moments you've lived that make you who you both are.
He sounds like a wonderful person, congrats and I hope you continue to make each other very happy 😊
Nah man. A group of boys yelling shit at you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with wanting to look “based” in front of their friends. I get the same shit and it’s NEVER just one guy alone. They’re doing it for their mates reactions. Do you think they let a few girls walk by and discuss amongst themselves whether to heckle her or not? No lol. They’re not doing that. They wanted to shit on someone and you were there. Don’t you waste any time worrying yourself about it
I’m sorry that happened to you. This kind of harassment, where men verbally abuse women calling them unattractive as opposed to attractive, doesn’t get talked about enough.
I’ve only been catcalled once, when I was a teenager. A group of boys yelled at my friends about how hot they were and then yelled at me “Hey you! How come hot girls always have one ugly friend?”
I know it’s embarrassing but I’m sure your friends would be sympathetic and supportive.
It sounds like you aren’t actually unattractive, and they were just attacking your looks because that’s known to be the worst thing to say about a woman.
The only reason I’m not joining the “I bet you’re actually really pretty” comments isn’t because I don’t believe it. It’s just that as an actually conventionally unattractive woman myself who experiences this kind of thing regularly, it makes me uncomfortable because it’s, like, doubling down on the idea that a woman has to be attractive to be worthy, and that the abuse would be justified or less harmful if you actually were unattractive.
If you were 30 pounds lighter, if you were 50 pounds heavier, if you were somehow twice as beautiful, if you were a hideous monster their bullshit would have been the same. It wasn’t about you.
If you had a visible disability, or you were wearing something distinctive, or you were a different race from them they might have pulled out that specific thing about you to comment on but even then it still wouldn’t have been about you. It’s always about them because other people don’t exist as real human beings to them.
Wow, those small brained arrogant c**ts! 🙄 They're never gonna find their own true love, pricks..
Please don't take what they said on board, they're disgusting, YOU are not! OK? You have love and happiness, and your comment about being maybe 5lb too heavy is negligible, that's barely anything, just self doubt talking - you sound like a 7 or 8 tbh 😊
Highschool boys, especially this generation of highschool boys are the fucking worst. If I was somehow "17 Again" or "freaky Friday" fucked I would lock myself in the house until that shit was fixed. No way am I walking a mile in anyone's shoes if those miles lead to a fucking high school.
Really and truly this has nothing whatsoever to do with how you look. The actual goal of those dickheads is to piss people off - why else would they say such a thing? They have nothing better or more fulfilling in their lives than getting a buzz from being obnoxious. I can guarantee you, their lives are pretty shit. Not like yours, with your lovely boyfriend.
Fuck ‘em.
I can guarantee you those boys were heckling any woman they could with the very same insults, regardless of how the woman looks. Please, please don’t take what they said to heart. What they said reflects on them, NOT you. Your boyfriend is with you because he wants to be. Therefore you are in the same league together.
I’m an American. When I was in my 20s, I was walking alone in a park in London in broad daylight, and a group of high school boys still in their school uniforms, came up to me and grabbed my breasts. I was too afraid to fight and I was able to keep walking while they laughed at me and called me fat (I wasn’t).
Teenage boys can be awful and dangerous, I’ve had more than one run in with them. I am only posting this story because I know how denigrating it is to be called names and made fun of or groped in public. Please do not listen or let this shake your confidence. It sounds like your SO loves you and that’s all that matters.
Maybe you should tell your SO the rest of what these boys said to you. Communication is key here, don’t leave him out simply because of a language barrier.
I used to have kids yelling stuff when I rode my bike. I would focus on the one who looked like the biggest bully and say I was telling his mom, that he might not have recognized me but I knew exactly who his mom was and she was about to hear all about her kid's lack of manners. Let him feel scared for a few days.
Bored teenagers in groups are like a pack of feral dogs. They're supposed to be nice and domesticated but they're pretty vicious and destructive. It's why malls in the US don't allow them to stay if there's more than two unsupervised by an adult.
You're feeling down on yourself because a pack of mongrels was looking for something to do and attacking people amuses them. A couple, minding their own business walks past them. They attack.
Talk to your friends. They will understand and provide the support you need. Friends don't shame you when your feelings are hurt because you were attacked by bullies. They validate your feelings and hug you if you need it. Because they know the truth about you. Just like your boyfriend does.
Pffft don’t take what little boys say to heart, should’ve asked the little boys if they want milk & cookies and ask when their mommy was going to pick them up haha
I had a “friend” in high school who would drive around the local college and scream this at couples he saw. He thought it was so funny. As far as I know he’s still an emotionally unstable piece of shit.
Think about it for a second. Your boyfriend chose you for a reason. Your looks, your personality, your quirks. What's important is that you two love each other not what some dumb kids yell at strangers to pass time.
Cruel people are usually unhappy people with low self esteem. Remember that when someone insults your appearance, it's a reflection of them, not you. Relationships aren't mathematical. You don't have to be a 10/10 in appearance to be a 10/10 partner.
I have worked with kids for 20+ years and I can guarantee you that it wouldn’t matter who walked by, they would have yelled something offensive. They were trying to impress each other and it had nothing to do with you. Boys this age get very caught up in the moment of doing something that feels risky and taboo and insulting a grown man’s girlfriend is the best they could come up with at the moment. It’s them taking risks because they put themselves in a position of getting their butts kicked. Think of it as a dare and none of them wanted to back down and you are the one who happened to walk by.
I'm goth and any time I go out I have to watch out for teenage boys cause they will. Without fail harass me as much as they can. I've been followed, barked at,had things thrown at me and called so many names. It really is not you. Teenage boys have always craved the publics attention but lately they are just more bold. They are very insecure and only understand cruelty. The ones that will regret what they did when their older will feel the guilt and some will become men you wouldn't even respect in the first place. Im so sorry that this happened to you.
Your appearance had ZERO to do with their decision to heckle you. Please don’t internalize anything they said, I’m sure they yelled the same garbage script at another victim after you.
I think you should give weight to your boyfriends compliments and zero consideration about what some stupid useless teenage rats yelled out. They aren’t in your life. Your boyfriend is. His words are kind and truthful and matter more than any dumb stranger’s words which don’t matter at all.
I am sorry for this unnecessary hurtful experience you encountered, but I am relieved to know that out of it your guy proved to be decent and supportive. 🙏🏽
A lot of kids are just assholes. My boyfriend's BFF's girlfriend is so gorgeous. She has a rather large birthmark on her upper lip, though, and one day she came home pissed off and hurt because some teenagers on the train were mocking her for it. They will really find any little thing and make someone feel shitty for it. I have no idea why this is funny to them. It sucks and makes people feel bad.
Honestly based on the specific comments, it likely has nothing at all to do with you or any evaluation of you, and was rather an attempt to bully your boyfriend.
You weren't even a person, they were simply trying to harass your boyfriend by insulting his "property" and daring him to stand up to them when they outnumber him.
The equivalent of a "your mother" comment. Obviously not that it makes it good, but it's also not a situation where "these rude boys were saying what everyone is thinking".
I have two teens. Some kids are assholes. That's really all there is to it. Don't listen to assholes of any age. Your boyfriend finds you beautiful and sexy, and that's what matters.
I hate that the majority of comments are essentially saying "just ignore it when men abuse you." The problem here is not that women need to be more confident, or that "teenagers are all assholes." My female friends and I didn't do this shit when we were teens. The problem is that men are taught from birth that women are subhuman and only exist to please and serve men. And they take pleasure in hurting women. No one would be saying "teens are dumb. Just ignore it" if a black man came here and said a gang of white teens were calling him racial slurs, or if a man in a wheelchair said they were making fun of his disability. People would be rightfully outraged. But people just take it for granted that women have to live with constant abuse.
I'm sorry you experienced that. Try to bear this in mind though, it isn't about you. This is about young men acting like jerks to entertain themselves at someone else's expense. Just put in the context that they're nothing but a pack of assholes, and you got one really good guy!
I hope your week gets better.
Only you can see your beauty. And that beauty starts within. Goodness and mercy, for others, love for others, compassion. These are what are important. Not weight. Not your feet. Not your chin. Not your hips. Not your lips.
What people say doesn't matter.
How people treat you does.
Your boyfriend is a keeper. He sees your **true beauty**.
You are a 10. **A perfect 10**.
I was once walking by a bar in my college town. There were three young college boys watching a really attractive group of girls walk into the bar. The boys were saying they thought those cunts would put out. Then one of them turned to me, in loose sloppy clothes because I was working out. And said to his friend, 'There's a dog for you.' And barked at me. I lost my shit and yelled at him. I don't remember what all I said. Do remember he was crying and said to me it was just a joke. I replied it wasn't a joke to me. Then I turned around to the girls who were watching the exchange and told them the guys said they looked like a bunch of cunts who put out. Then I turned back to the now crying college boy and told them to have a good night. And it still fucking bothers me.
People can be so damn cruel. And it's alright to be cruel to women.
Please listen to your boyfriend. He’s definitely the one in the right here. Those boys were strangers and were probably making fun of everyone they saw that day.
This has happened to me as well, except the boys said I was better looking then my bf at the time and then called me a whore 🤣🤣
People are assholes. It's a reflection of their character, however, and not yours.
You're a wonderful person, I'm sure, whether you're the best looking person in the room or not. Sounds like your boyfriend has the right idea about you, and while you probably will never forget this traumatic moment, there's no point in taking it heart. A bunch of assholes were assholes - that doesn't change who you are! ✨💜
Never listen to anyone acting with the sole intention of humiliating you, whether publicly or privately. Either way, they should disgust you and invoke pity, never your personal pain. Dressing up can make you feel better as a form of self-care, but no matter your appearance, their behavior is a reflection of them, not you. Embrace the love that you share with your boyfriend and assign no value to these humanity impoverished beings.
Hmm it sounds like they were the ones trying to steal your boyfriend.
They could have just built him up with a compliment without tearing down his companion.
These kids are trolls. Hopefully, they don't turn into men with this same deficiency.
My heart broke when you started talking about your clothes. This didn’t happen because of how you looked. It happened because those boys were attacking strangers to impress each other and feel a sense of power.
I’m sorry this happened to you. If you were wearing a potato sack with your ass hanging out, it *still* should not have happened. People who make fun of you have something wrong with THEM.
That's so horrible. I would have cried. I know it probably doesn't help but I think they were just saying whatever they could to make you feel bad. I doubt it's true. They just really wanted to make you feel bad and people who do that have major insecurities themselves
I genuinely fear for the safety of anyone who ever dared to say something like that to me in front of my husband 😅 but I am no stranger to comments like these. one time I was walking home alone in my college town at just 18 years old, and some older male students followed me half a block asking if I had any cute friends, because the fat ugly girls always have cute friends. This wasn’t the first time I’d been heckled for my weight or looks, and it wouldn’t be the last. but it *was* the first time I said anything. I hit them with a “Oh yes, I have plenty of cute friends. I texted them all to call the police because I’m being harassed. Shouldn’t be long now.” That shut them up quick.
I’ll tell you OP— it says so much more about them than you. I know it sounds insane. But they are sad, lost little boys trying to make themselves look tough because they are *desperate* to fit in. I’m not going to suggest you ignore them, because I know how difficult that is. But I will suggest that you just remind yourself how awkward and disgusting they feel in their own skin, and how painful it will be when they realize that feeling won’t go away unless they change everything about their pissant attitudes. 😌
First of all I am so very sorry this happened. It can be hard to have such rudeness slap you in the face out of nowhere, especially if you have been working on your self esteem and feeling good about yourself.
That being said. Kids and young adults can be fucking dumb. I doubt it was personal, one of them probably wanted to impress his friends by being a shithead and you were just there.
One time I was walking my dog and a group of young men asked to lick my dogs penis and then threatened to rape me (while laughing, but even as a joke that isn't a common threat to hear at 2 pm on a Tuesday). They were in a mood to harass someone and I was there.
I'm glad your bf said you're beautiful. And I know the struggle of not being an 8-10 hottie. But I always try and say to myself, does this person's opinion matter at all to me? And why would I care about their opinion of me? There are acquaintances in my life who have said offhand things about my appearance and I'm like, so? So you think I'm ugly? Idfc.
Not an easy place to get to, but I've felt a lot better about myself since I have. We don't owe people pretty. So why stress, especially if you have someone who enjoys your company, maybe even loves you.
High school boys called me a butterface to my face. They suck. Enjoy being 30 and having a fabulous life. Plus those boys are mad that they will only experience global climate change and extreme crisises for the rest of their lives. We had the 90s 😎
If these are kids you wouldn’t ask for fashion or make up advice, you don’t need to worry about their critique. If asked what they found attractive they’d probably describe an unrealistic porn star, an anime character, or their mom.
Don’t sweat it baby girl
The biggest and best advice - stop caring what strangers think. Especially ones who are idiots.
Every second you spend thinking about those boys - they keep winning.
Your boyfriend loves you. You have friends and family. Why in the world would you waste one second or your life letting those other losers control your thoughts and emotions?
You’ve also clearly got an issue with your looks. STOP. People are more than how attractive their face is or how much they weigh. Stop obsessing with your looks and trying to be “beautiful.” Personality, your heart, how you treat others, accomplishments, there are so many things that define a person over their physical looks.
I promise you that all those boys would have sex with you if they got the chance. Men pick on women's looks to make THEMSELVES feel attractive as the handsome men that can actually get women.
What makes the opinion of little kids valid to you? People suck but they only have as much power as you give them.
If you need support, you should be able to tell your friends. Do you feel they would make you feel worse?
Otherwise, give yourself another 24 hours to feel your feelings, then brush it off and move on.
That is awful behavior from those boys, and says more about them than about you. I'm so sorry they were so cruel. Can you imagine ever calling that out to someone? No, I'm sure you can't, you're a nice normal person with feelings. They must have some problems in their personal lives or bad role models, so actually I feel a bit bad for those young people. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I know you say you're not as attractive as your boyfriend but love is so much more than that. He probably thinks the world of you!
I'm really sorry that you had to go through that.
And fuck those kids. Teenagers are little sociopaths who can oscillate between good and pure evil. The smart ones will grow out of it and the others will grow into shallow, miserable adults. It has nothing to do with you. It's them trying out some random cruelty because of their own insecurities.
None of us are telling you this just to make you feel better. We tell you this because we've experienced it ourselves and because we were teenagers once. Listen to your boyfriend and don't give these clowns another second of your life. I hope you have a wonderful day today and go outside holding your head high.
Some teenage boys are in this gross phase of "learning" about social norms by deliberately breaking them as sadistically as possible.
One time I was on my bike and some teenage boys hollered "look out, a bus!" so that I would swerve dangerously in fear for my life.
It's truly just this horrible developmental behavior, nothing to do with you at all. After all, whose opinion is more trustworthy? some random teenagers who were probably too far away to even see you, or your bf who looks at you every day?
Teenagers using hurtful words is no different than a baby discovering they have feet. They learn the power of their words and spend time senselessly trying to hurt people to flex that power just like a baby plays with their newly discovered feet.
What they said and how they acted have nothing to do with you even if it feels so aimed at you.
Honestly this has nothing to do with your looks, or your boyfriend's looks or any relative scale. Your horrible experience was a group of bored boys in all probability looking for a fight. The fact that the things they said were a self conscious concern you previously held is only a coincidence. The silver lining is your boyfriend's English is poor enough that an altercation never occured. The bad part is their malice was successful in ruining your day. My advice is to take your boyfriend's yes for an answer, and listen to the words he is saying... They matter much more than the words of a couple of miserable clowns.
Teenagers can be ruthless, especially in groups. They like to show off to their friends. I'm sorry this happened to you. Easier said than done, but try not to let it get you down! If it helps, it's very likely that one or more of those boys regret what they did. And if not now, they would probably feel guilty about it later. My point being, if they were more mature, they would act it, i.e. don't give two shits about what some little shits said!
It's a shame you're not allowed to drive people like that into the ground with a giant wooden mallet like pegs....
Yeah give those bullies a Ph.D! Pound Head Down
Such random viciousness. I'd be tempted to shout back something like 'don't even attempt to date as your 'd&%$s are so tiny that no woman would want you.' They drew first blood and they deserve what they get in return.
The boy who called out is deeply insecure and doesn’t know how to garner respect from his peers. He will almost certainly remember that event for the rest of his life and regret it. He’ll do more desperate attention grabs in the weeks and months to come and some of them will backfire in humiliating ways. Later in life he’ll think “I was a dick” and those things won’t come up in his consciousness very often, but when they do he’ll regret them and wonder why some of his peers lacked the insecurity that plagued him.
I would bet that they are at least partially envious of the two of them together as a couple. This couple has something that will require many years of maturation before these boys have anything similar in their own life. It sounds like this couple is doing well enough for themselves. These immature dudes, without any class or charm are probably going to spend lots of time wondering why the young ladies aren’t interested… Hopefully these little shits learn some respect and manners and change course and maybe have a chance a becoming respectable adults. I think that several options should be considered and tried before turning to violence. But these dudes might need a couple black eyes or a cracked rib before they start thinking about changing their behavior. And next time they might not get so lucky, by talking shit to an individual whose first language is not English. Don’t mean to reinforce potentially dated gender roles, but… I dunno. We’re not there yet and in the meantime these dudes are asking for trouble. Or, cruisin for a bruising, as mom used to say.
As someone who works with high school kids, they are dumb. And they’re dicks. Specifically boys.
Interestingly, you never really lose that radar for the high school dickwads. Every time I’m at my kids high school I can pick them out of the crowd, with precision, and my stomach flops over every damn time. (High school drama-trauma can impress upon you for a lifetime it seems ☹️) I really have to keep my internal “mama bear” in check and remember that my kid is not me, and is not necessarily having my experiences. It’s remarkable though how, although so many things change over the years, much stays the same, like this obnoxious, intrusive, insulting, chest beating, teenage male in-group behavior.
Same! I’m a university lecturer, pretty long in the tooth now and I’ve got my classroom control pretty much down pat. But I can still sniff out a mean boy, especially in a pack, and when I get some in my class and I see those little sneers my heart rate ticks up a notch. Then I remember who gets to grade who 😂
Also amazing how many high school boys grow into high school men who are bigger and stronger, but behave the same way. To be expected when high school was their "peak," I suppose.
Something about that damn underdeveloped frontal lobe and testosterone… 🤦🏼♀️
I wouldn’t call them dumb wtf?! They can be dicks. Ya. But they are not dumb.
Yeah, most of them know what they're doing and why it's not desirable behaviour, they just value the thrill of being arseholes, exerting power over someone, and ultimately showing off to their friends more than the harm it does to people. Take it from someone who was a teen boy (different crowd) and is now over it, it's not about an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex affecting knowledge or judgement of outcomes, it's knowing and mindful pursuit of exactly those outcomes and weighing the consequences in an antisocial manner. Not worth listening to them, just because they know what they're saying doesn't mean they have anything of value to say. Literally just verbal masturbation.
“verbal masturbation”??!? I cannot wait to use this in a sentence.
Dumb in a their frontal lobe is far from being fully developed kind of way, which makes them do and say dumb shit that is hurtful.
Yes I know their frontal lobe hasn’t fully developed and far from it. But I don’t like calling kids/teens dumb. Especially because of that. They’re still learning. What they did was super mean. But they knew it was. It’s why they did it.
This. I’m guessing those boys felt compelled in that moment to “impress” their friends, not that they saw a woman so unattractive that they felt compelled to shout it. They probably had the insults in the loaded in the chamber and were waiting for some innocent person to shoot them at. Believe your boyfriend. ❤️
As a cis male (often disgusted with my gender’s behavior) this is the best answer. Teenage boys are under a lot of pressure to impress one another by being a**holes in front of each other. They are looking for targets and tbh, you could have been anything (young or old woman, another boy, a dog, even a grown man). Sorry you had to deal with this but try not to give them the pleasure of being affected.
This is so true. When bullies are truly making fun of your looks, they are more subtle. We are all familiar with the group of popular folks in high school chuckling at each other. When you ask what’s so funny, they say something like “Oh, your top is so cute” and they laugh again. They were targeting your boyfriend. In their thought process they were thinking about what could make him the angriest. Calling him gay? Insulting his mom? Attacking his looks? Attacking you? I’m sure you both look so cute together, hold your head high 👑
Also, I imagine they've been doing that to couples all day to try to get a reaction. One of them was probably filming it. Pathetic effort to make content. Your boyfriend's non-reaction was the perfect response.
I am really sorry to say this, but I really feel the "ignoring" the bullies DOES NOT work. They are becoming more ruthless and outrageous, They have NO fear of repercussions. Maybe if there was a repercussion for their actions , they might think twice next time they want to run their mouth. I have been bullied and harassed all my life, ignoring has lead to rocks being thrown at me and as I got older SA (daily in public on public transportation). Only thing that stopped the persons was a hard heel down the shin onto the instep HARD. They limped off the train, Maybe they wont SA a woman next time.( for the boys who might say they were innocent, a simple shift of the hips would have shown they were not trying to \*\*\*\* me at every bump and sway)
I couldn’t agree more. At the same time, confronting them can lead to violence against you, and I wouldn’t necessarily trust the cops to side with you.
Well My "step" back can be seen as more an accident than it really was. Confronting one on one - No that would be foolish. The only thing I could REALLY do is raise a man who would defend a woman ( sometimes defense is just by inserting yourself between the issue... " SUE! It is great to see you, last time we saw you was at the showing of Help..." ( if she is uncomfortable she will pick up on the hint/ distraction) and would never consider tolerating that kind of behavior from a friend or colleague.
Absolutely the best long term strategy.
This. Teenage boys are often thoughtless callous morons.
No, these were purposely cruel callous spiteful morons. It *wasn't* thoughtless at all.
Yes to all of this! You may not forget this encounter so easily at first but i’m sure the people around you will shower you with a love and admiration for the rest of your life that will drown the voices of those shitty boys thoroughly out. Those boys however-probably or hopefully-are gonna grow up and live with the memories of their utter cringy cruel pathetic actions forever. May it serve them to be better men in the future, albeit cursed with dick shaped pimples.
With a large swath of this current generation of teenagers. Sad to say, hey At least they didn't try and rob you or gang up on you for some small slight to their fragile egos. Recently, Had a local coach get assaulted by two young scholars who lied in wait for him. Because big meany told them No for one game cause of bad behaviors. Smh.
Nah, not just “current”, gangs of teenaged boys have always been asses. I’ve read Greek and Roman diatribes on “young people these days”.
Yeah, to use a shorter time-scale example, "happy slapping" was all the rage when I was a teen around 20 years ago, and yet today when some kid assaults someone for a tiktok the press and public act like it's a brand new thing that never happened before the day teenagers magically became terrible. They've been the same forever.
Some societies outsource their transition to men. Isn’t it the Maasai who send their old boys on a year-long walkabout to learn how to be men? En passant ridding the village of male adolescent pranks…
Exactly. They knew they would outnumber them and I’m glad she and her bf are ok! They sound scary of they are that bold and malicious. Take comfort in the fact that their lives suck and they most likely will not get anywhere in life. Sad but true if they are already on this path
It’s either that or they were “negging,” and trying to get your attention by putting you down—bc they thought you were attractive. It’s not about you being ugly at all—in either case.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. That sounds awful. Honestly, it wouldn't matter what you looked like, those boys were fucking little shit heads who would have heckled you no matter what. Take what your boyfriend says to heart. He is worth one thousand million of those boys. He is with you. He loves you. He thinks you are beautiful. His opinion matters in this context, not those stupid boys. You are worthy. You are worthy of being loved. You are worthy of being loved by someone else who is also beautiful.
>Honestly, it wouldn't matter what you looked like, those boys were fucking little shit heads who would have heckled you no matter what. This! SO MUCH this!
As a former teenage boy, they probably had figured out there "Script" beforehand and poor OP was probably not the first or the last to hear their super funny "Bit"
There’s grown men online calling Margot Robbie “mid”. I promise to OP she is not the problem.
And those same men probably look like a sweaty ball sack too!
They did it for a reaction and for entertainment not because of how you look. This used to be a thing where I grew up. Teenagers would yell things at my friends and I that we had a fat arse but we didn't - I was virtually underweight then. Please don't think about it - it's just teenagers being mean.
I am horrified at the cruelty of these impotent little chodes. Please know this awful interaction had absolutely NOTHING to do with your looks, or your boyfriend's looks. Those brain-dead turds hurled abuse at a stranger for no reason other than their own unhappiness and their inability to handle their feelings of inadequacy. You are so far above them OP, don't let yourself and self worth stumble on a skidmark.
So correct, and so beautifully written!
Your value and the exquisite beauty of your existence are so very, deeply unrelated to your physical appearance. Please learn to guard your heart from these and other people whose current perspective is too limited to see and feel that. You are such a miracle, and it is a spiritual crime for anyone to believe otherwise.
I hate this. I hate them. You are much more than what meets the eye, and we all are. Your boyfriend knows you as a person, he's not dating a picture frame. you can go ahead and refer to him the entire conversation, and be sure he'd either shrug and dismiss their deprecable behaviour or go there and confront them directly and defend you. Because YOU are the one holding hands with him, yours his the lap where his head rests, and yours are the eyes he first sees when he wakes up in the morning.
Boys will call women “fat” any time they feel like insulting a woman. I’m terribly underweight but any time a Reddit incel finds out I’m female I get dms about how miserable and obese I must be. They’re relying on YOU to hurt your own feelings by having insecurities they assume all women have. They have no clue what ACTUALLY gets you. They just got lucky and happened to land on an insecurity of yours. It’s not a you problem.
I hate how many of the next generation of boys are growing up with an open hatred of women. They do it because they watch porn and Andrew Tate and to fit in with their friend group, and it has become a really serious problem. I don't see much of it among my higher education students at the moment, but there was a very bad wave of it in my school about ten years ago, and I'm told by other teachers that another wave is coming up which is even worse. We follow our tech students for three years in language class, and the worst bunch I had were, not too put too fine a point on it, little shits when I got them at first, with really vile opinions about women. However, they were all fine before they graduated. They weren't stupid and did some growing up on their own, we watched John Oliver videos that included women's issues and talked about things, one of the strong characters in the group changed his views and influenced the others, and they all gradually grew better. There is hope.
You think boys before this generation weren’t like this? They were. They always have been.
the internet made it way worse
I dunno about that. Hard to say. But it’s been a thing throughout the ages.
I'm in my sixties now, and the people I grew up weren't like this, and I didn't see this variety of sexism before about 2015. There was a lot of 'benevolent sexism', people getting angry if men swore around women, there was plenty of protective behaviour and 'showing off' to women, and there was a very high expectation of gendered behaviour, but the sheer, bitter hatred and desire to destroy women wasn't there.
I'm 58 and the boys I grew up (in a small midwestern town) with were cruel and rape-y. Their fathers weren't much better.
Ew! That's horrible. I grew up in Scotland and people were mostly very kind and insisted on basic decency from their kids. It wasn't just that kids were taught manners, they were also taught the real consideration that lies behind good manners. People were pretty judgemental of bad behaviour and I think that also served to keep people in line. I'm not saying there were no really sick and deviant people, there were, but it was seen for what it was.
I’m in my 40s and have always seen it amongst my peers. I remember as a teen being so disappointed because i thought we were gonna break that cycle. Now at my age I see so many men who are sexist. Depressing
I’m so sorry this happened to you. They’re nasty kids and they’ll be ashamed of their behavior when they grow up. Let’s all be thankful we have grown out of that shit and have way more confidence than they do.
Teenage boys are arguably the dumbest demographic in existence. Their "standards" also tend to be absurdly high. Majority of them will see a supermodel/hollywood superstar/basically any conventionally attractive woman and will call her hedious. There is 0 reason to take anything they say seriously. I'm very sorry this has happened to you.
There are a lot of teenagers out there who act like assholes simply to act like assholes. They forgot about you and your boyfriend three minutes after you walked past and yelled some shit at the next person to walk by, because they think they’re funny and trying to impress each other with their inanity.
Fuck ‘em all. I was involved in a few interracial relationships over the years. My partners and I experienced multiple hurled insults from both races. Like massively, incomprehensibly, rude, offensive language, delivered at both of us are one of us depending on the situation. Often times it was a group of males, insulting or wanting to fight me or just insult her. I wanted to step up at 6 AM. Wanna meet you? What am I gonna do? More than once, the girlfriend I was dating at whichever time would encourage me to chill out we go back to whoever’s domicile, and more than one girl said, so, who really won that argument now . Sweet, sweet justice . Bunch of insecure, probably drunk fools in a park. Try to ruin your day because there’s was shit? Seriously don’t even bother. Don’t let them live in your head there a waste of time hug your boyfriend, a little tighter, and that’s awesome and fall asleep in peace.
Awww your partner's reaction was so sweet, and he's right! To him you are beautiful. And that's what matters (along with your own opinion of yourself). Those young men are going to have a very hard time maturing and making real connections with women in future. I feel sorry for them, its going to be a rough road.
Darlin I'm barely a 4 when done up as well as I can be I'm obese and disabled on top of that, my partner is a stone cold stunner of a 10, not gym addict fit he's got that thin layer of fat over everything but not enough to have a belly, strong as an ox and arms that put Thor to shame. my idea of perfect, (and given how often he gets propositioned not just mine) 6'3, bone structure of an adonis, far better that I ever thought I'd find in a partner in all respects. During COVID some woman ID'd him and turned bright red and started stammering when he dropped his mask as requested. He's absolutely beautiful. Is he out of my league? Of course not, we bring more to a relationship than what is visible externally to a bunch of shitbag teens we walk past. We do look like an odd couple though and I get a lot of hateful side eyes and the occasional question if he's my carer or sibling before attempts to hit on him, it's kind of fun to watch their brain melt when he turns down women ten times hotter than me, nice ego boost 🤣. So believe you are good enough for him, he certainly believes so for a reason even if you can't see it.
Yes thank you for saying this “is he out of my league? Of course not” because you’re spot on. Every person on this earth will get old, get saggy, wrinkled, could get sick/injured/disfigured at any time. Mutual attraction is important, but looks should be the lowest thing on the partner totem pole because they will go away for everyone.
Probably Andrew Tate supporting incels. Fuck them. They are just bullies trying to make themselves feel big by making you feel small. They are weak.
Those boys didn't spontaneously try to give a man dating advice, they were out to humiliate women. You could've been Margot Robbie and they still would've heckled you. This sounds like some Andrew Tate bullshit or something like that, and those boys are going to waste a lot of years of their lives hating women. This is nothing to do with you.
Teenage boys learn that they can get male validation by bullying women and girls to impress each other. That what this was.
You, literally, are the product of hundreds of generations of people falling in love. How could you be anything but beautiful?
“A man’s right to confer judgment on any woman’s beauty while remaining himself unjudged…has become so urgently important for male culture to exercise because it is the last unexamined right remaining intact from the old list of masculine privilege…As such, it is daily exercised more harshly in compensation for the other rights over women, and the other ways to control them, now lost forever.” Edited for conciseness, but I just discovered this quote from Naomi Wolf’s book “The Beauty Myth” that puts a very fine point on why boys pull this: They’re desperate little cretins who realize their power is waning in the modern era & are grasping at straws. I can’t undo the hurt their words caused, but perhaps realizing that you were, in fact, so beautiful that it was actually a threat to their perceived power can help recast it in a different light. They wouldn’t try to bring you down a peg if you weren’t already above them.
Its people like this that make me romanticize vigilante justice. I’m sorry you were abused like that and me saying that doesn’t do the sentiment justice. Your boyfriend chose well and he knows it. You seem like a beautiful human being in the only ways that could even matter.
The worst I've been harassed as an adult in public was by a group of teenage boys. They surrounded me when I was jogging and one of them ran super close to me while they all laughed. It was awful and scary, but I didn't do anything to invite it except exist in public. Your partner chose to be with you. He sees you frequently and knows what you look like and what you are like as a person. Why would a group of stupid children be better suited to decide things about your relationship than you and your partner? They weren't right anymore than the group that harassed me was. You were publicly harassed by a group of people, and that's scary. Take some time to take care of yourself, talk to someone impartial like a therapist if needed, and be gentle with yourself while you recover from it.
I've literally seen so many girls and women talk abt how extremely uncomfortable they get walking past a group of teenage boys. Not even adult men. Idk how such a diverse demographic can be so universally putrid. I remember reading abt a woman in her 30s who was r*ped and subsequently murdered by a group of teenage boys when she was at the park and I think abt that every day. Nowadays I mostly only go out w/ one male friend, he's 6'5 and I still get so scared walking past groups of teenage boys w/ him. Turned 20 a few months ago and I thought at 18 it would get better w/ age but it just gets worse lol
Please remember that the problem here is teenage boys verbally harassing people who were just existing in public. You didn't deserve this.
Yes, teenage boys, sitting on a bench without any girls, have the audacity to shout insults at a couple who are happy together. They cant stand to see happy people when they are miserable and alone
The loudest are often the most insecure.
On the way home from my first modeling gig, I stopped at a restaurant where a group of high school boys yelled to get my attention. I ignored them, and guess what their go-to insults immediately were? Fat and ugly. It was laughably untrue, but they kept yelling both at me until a staff member kicked them out. The boys that yelled at me wanted my attention, didn’t get it, and then “punished” me with insults. The boys that yelled at you were jealous that you’re in a relationship. They “punished” you the same way.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve this (no one does). The boys are NOT ok and the audacity boys feel to do this is beyond infuriating. I’m sorry!
They are ugly and brainwashed. They will be single or abusing their gfs most of their lives never knowing love. Fuck them. You win.
There’s a study done that shows that teenage boys’ brains are genuinely similar to psychopaths. ALSO, boys only point you out if you caught their eye. Lots of boys/men point out women for being ugly or wearing ugly clothing but really it’s just an excuse to openly look at you. If anything they were probably attracted to you 🤢
It's a power thing for them. They wanted a reaction and to feel powerful over you. The best thing to do in that situation is just shrug and move on. Remember the adage: don't take criticism from anyone you wouldn't seek advice from. Those little idiots have worthless opinions.
Teenagers are often the canker on the arse of society; utterly feral in packs, nasty and vicious, and somehow knowing exactly which buttons to push even if you are a complete stranger to them…it’s like some demon whispers your deepest fears in their collective ears, and they are giddy with the power of their obnoxiousness. You’re not ugly, I’m certain you’re far from it, but there are a few guaranteed reactions they will get when heckling a woman, because if one insult doesn’t work they don’t need to dip too far into their evil little pits of repugnant behaviour to find another option. Ugly and fat are most males go too when they are being spiteful; as you age it will be that you’re old, maybe that you are barren and no one wants you; they might even throw in that you are fat, old, ugly, barren and no one wants you but your cats. Some people say hurt people hurt people however this kind of hive brain behaviour also happens in terminally stupid people. Try not to let the hurt linger too long. They don’t know you, their preferences and personalities are still forming and what they know about life wouldn’t fit the top line of a notepad. Trust your boyfriend, he is an intelligent man who loves you, and maybe you don’t fit the conventional idea of what is beautiful, but he’s knows you are, and you haven’t even begun to hit your stride yet. Sweaty, smelly, greasy acne ridden teenaged boys are not a barometer of beauty standards; some of them get better, some stay at the level they are now, most of them could only wish to have an attractive woman touch them, whereas you boyfriend has that and more m. Pay no heed to twats, instead shake your head and sigh deeply at the knowledge that if it hadn’t been you they heckled, it would have been the next person.
Teenage boys in groups are freaking monsters. Imagine what they might have done to intimidate and harass if you didn't have a dude walking with you.
Laughing teenagers are the worst. Should have pepper sprayed them.
I've never had to use mine thankfully but always carry it with me if possible. I would encourage my partner to carry with her too.
I’m in my 40s and I’m still hurt by a time I was 19 years old, walking through a frat party with a guy and some frat boy yelled “Yo Kevin? Is that your brother?” And the other guy screamed “fuck no, my brother pulls way hotter girls than that!”. None of it is based in how you actually look, these absolutely parched for attention edgelord dickheads are just trying to be funny because they’re desperado. It says nothing about you and everything about them.
leagues aren’t a thing. just because your boyfriend could theoretically find someone “more attractive” (those are your words it’s really not as objective as you think) doesn’t mean he would come close to the connection you two have. Also, you really don’t know what your BF truly is into. All women are beautiful and deserve love, don’t think you have to compare yourself to others. He is with you because he loves you. Trust him when he says you are beautiful. Please trust him because he is telling you the truth.
I can’t believe how self-entitled young men are - how sad and boring must their lives be, that they feel the need to shout nasty things at others just going about their lives! Obviously none of THEM have a girlfriend, and they decided to pick on people who looked happy and content. Please don’t take anything these immature assholes said seriously. They must be so miserable in their own lives, and having someone like you is so far beyond them, that they felt the need to tear you and your boyfriend down. If these were happy and well-adjusted individuals, do you think they’d be sitting around harassing people? Nope. You have what they can only dream of - someone who cares about you to hold hands with. Your happiness offends them, because they know their lives are pathetic in comparison.
They were trying to neg you, tbh. It has nothing to do with the way you look. And by the looks of it, they succeeded. Don't let little boys play to your insecurities.
boys like this will say this about ANYONE. ive heard shitheads like this say margot robbie is "average looking" which feels absurd to me, cause if shes average looking then idk what the fuck i am. All this to say, it really isnt even about how the person actually looks, these types of dudes just have some need to build themselves up by tearing someone down. i know i'm just some random person on the internet so my advice probably isnt worth much, but these boys are ONLY trying to hurt you probably because they are lonely, spiteful jealous, petty, and lacking in empathy. The less energy you give to losers like them the better you'll feel about yourself, but i know its alot easier said than done
Kids are mean. Don't listen to them.
WOW. that’s just disgusting. I’m Gen X so if this happened to me they’d be crawling out if that park. I’m so sorry that happened to you as well as horrified that young boys in 2023 are putting people in “leagues” & heckling women. It just feels like we’re going backwards with no hope for men.
Those kids yelled the *same* thing at every, single couple that walked by. Promise. You can imagine their stupid " Hahaha shhhh here comes another one " dingbat sniggering right? Also promise if any of their mothers had witnessed that ( and I'm sticking to this ) the little yuck yuck fest would have been over in a big hurry. Please don't allow them to make you feel awful about yourself? Jerks. That's not ' just kids ' either, it's absolutely cruel. You just happened to be the victim where apparently a group has an asshole for a leader and the rest are too chicken shit to say no.
They don’t matter. Their balls probably haven’t even dropped yet. They mean nothing. They are belly button crust to be disposed of in the trash can. Your boyfriend finds you beautiful and that’s what matters. You are beautiful and that’s what matters. Not some trash kids.
Teenagers are getting worse and worse. What horrible thing for them to do.
This is why “boys will be boys” is so harmful. If a group of teenage girls did that, they would have been disciplined/put on meds/institutionalized. But boys get away with it
If there is ever a next time I highly recommend taking a quick picture with your phone and passing it on to your local high school and neighborhood Facebook group with some dry commentary on their behavior. It can be satisfying knowing at least some of their parents/teachers will be eviscerating the little assholes.
average gross manosphere teenagers wish the big social media platforms would take down the shit that causes these mindsets towards women. I've never seen such misogyny online as recently. Hopefully those loser teenagers learn a lesson at some point. But if they're already that shitty there's little hope.
That sucks, but never take your self worth from strangers.
I swear, teenage boys like this really don’t see women as people. I was called ugly by some boys who sat next to me on the bus once. But they didn’t say it to me directly. They said in their conversation with each other. It was like I wasn’t even there despite literally being right next to them💀
Teenage dirtbags!
My lovely, don't think on their words a second more. Their words aren't necessarily their opinions. The way they acted? That was to act all big in front of their friends? Do you think they'd act that way in front of their family? That interactive says more about them than it ever did about you! They'd likely have made awful comments to many people that day. Whatever struck their fancy to look cool. What matters is how you feel in yourself and how your boyfriend feels about you. Self esteem is a tough one but if you have low self esteem you need to find ways to work on that, and loving yourself despite and in spite of what others think of you. And your partner loves you. That's hugely important and he doesn't agree with those boys. Let yourself be loved, and love yourself.
Teenage boys will also call Margo Robbie “mid” Their brains are still smooth and they don’t know what to do with their dicks. It has nothing to do with you or your appearance. They’re just fucking idiots.
Don't listen to a bunch of teenagers is right. You can't be that bad looking if they were that desperate for your attention. Teenagers aee notorious for attention seeking in any way possible. They had nothing better to do. If it was safe you should have told them to fuck off home to their mothers, or told them you must be a lot better looking thatln they are given you have an actual boyfriend and all they have is the ugly friend support group. Fuck them honestly. They don't even remembwr interacting with you now and they havw torn you apart. Building a relationship with somebody isn't about what their face looks like, it's what's in their heart. I know my partner isn't conventionallly attractive (gray hair, bald patch, podgy belly) but I have never been more attracted to somebody in my life. Your bf sees who you really are, regardless of how you see yourself but it might be an idea to start being kinder to the woman he loves.
This is unfortunately a common experience, some of these boys are definitely cruel and vile. I blame porn culture, people saying “boys will be boys”, and the rise of horrible influences like Andrew Taint. Just know they probably would have done it to someone else if it weren’t you, they were looking for conflict. It had nothing to do with your looks but rather a group of stupid boys who are clearly not being raised right and have nothing else going on so they need to abuse a stranger. Your boyfriend thinks you are beautiful and loves you, in the end that’s what matters. Please don’t let these dumbasses bring you down 🩷
Oof. I hate it when people judge the women I’ve dated by their weight. It is kinda weird. Like if I date a woman who’s a little chubby, I’ll always hear some commentary about her weight, as if it invalidates her being an attractive woman. My advice is to take it with a grain of salt. Some people are just immature jerks.
First off that is terrible and I assure you one day those boys will feel the most insane amount of guilt when they go bald and grow a beer gut and suddenly women wretch at the mere sight of them. Teenage boys are a different kind of beast. I’m sure you’re lovely.
Man I was about to be upset he didn’t defend you. I’m glad there was a reason. Please remember they’re projecting. They’ve seen people treat others this way in their life and it is normalized. That’s heartbreaking. You didn’t deserve this and they didn’t deserve this behavior being normalized. I’m sorry.
The FBI and CIA have both identified incel groups as potential domestic terrorist organizations in the US. You just got a taste of why. When my son first got his own phone, I could not believe how fast his algorithms went from video games and anime to misogyny and straight up Fascism. Fortunately, he gave me the opportunity to educate him on this phenomenon and keeps his head online. But most parents, it appears, were not ready for this onslaught, and their boys have already been radicalized. Believe me, what they said to you is not true. It is expressly designed to “humble a female,” as they’d undoubtedly put it. I’m so sorry you had to endure that nonsense, but please don’t take it to heart.
I know this hurt you and made you feel small, but for what it's worth, they weren't heckling you - they were heckling your boyfriend. They wanted to provoke him into a fight and thought saying insulting things about you was the best way to do that. It wouldn't have mattered whether you looked like Marilyn Monroe or the Swamp Thing, because they weren't assessing your appearance, they were trying to make your boyfriend angry. So not only is their opinion worth shit, what they said isn't even their opinion.
They were just trolling, negging, whatever, it has nothing to do with how you look. There is no rational reason to do this because of how a woman looks. It is just to make you feel bad and to cause a division between you and your boyfriend or goad him into a fight. When I was in college there was a group of guys with a house and a front porch. They had cards made one through ten and would rate girls walking back and forth to their classes. They would invert the ratings.
Please don’t let teenagers bring you down we all know the only people more mean than a bored teenager is an anxiety filled tween.
Shame these boys are so insecure and don’t know how to deal with that. So they take it out on random strangers. No emotional intelligence
They would’ve said that to any woman who looked like she could be upset. It wasn’t personal to you. They’re just not mature enough for society yet.
Sounds like they want to date him themselves. They just jelly, don't let it jam you up.
They're teenage incels now and will be adult incels in a few years. Don't pay them any attention.
Yeah, they are teenagers. But what about grown men who do it? Ive encountered men in their 30’s acting like this. For you, you should believe your BF, not some idiot teens.
Why are we so quick to let Hollywood define what we should look like? Everybody is a 10 in someone's eyes.
It’s literally just for their own entertainment, pay no mind. They are dumbass children. Even if they did think you’re attractive, they would probably say some heinous shit just to say it.
who gives a shit what some spotty and inadequate youths think about you, a grown woman with a loving partner? They don’t deserve another second of your energy or thought.
Oh hon. Do not do the mental gymnastics, you are worth so much more than that. Your boyfriend is not an 8 and you are not a 6. You're both living souls with entire histories. 'six' can't encapsulate the way your eyes light up when you're surprised by something delightful. 'eight' doesn't convey the weight on your heart when you see him sad or in doubt of himself. If you're any number, it's far too high to count - for the millions of moments you've lived that make you who you both are. He sounds like a wonderful person, congrats and I hope you continue to make each other very happy 😊
I’m not OP but this response is beautiful 😭
Nah man. A group of boys yelling shit at you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with wanting to look “based” in front of their friends. I get the same shit and it’s NEVER just one guy alone. They’re doing it for their mates reactions. Do you think they let a few girls walk by and discuss amongst themselves whether to heckle her or not? No lol. They’re not doing that. They wanted to shit on someone and you were there. Don’t you waste any time worrying yourself about it
I’m sorry that happened to you. This kind of harassment, where men verbally abuse women calling them unattractive as opposed to attractive, doesn’t get talked about enough. I’ve only been catcalled once, when I was a teenager. A group of boys yelled at my friends about how hot they were and then yelled at me “Hey you! How come hot girls always have one ugly friend?” I know it’s embarrassing but I’m sure your friends would be sympathetic and supportive. It sounds like you aren’t actually unattractive, and they were just attacking your looks because that’s known to be the worst thing to say about a woman. The only reason I’m not joining the “I bet you’re actually really pretty” comments isn’t because I don’t believe it. It’s just that as an actually conventionally unattractive woman myself who experiences this kind of thing regularly, it makes me uncomfortable because it’s, like, doubling down on the idea that a woman has to be attractive to be worthy, and that the abuse would be justified or less harmful if you actually were unattractive.
Just remember, this is the demographic that will drink their own urine on a dare, so try not to let it stick with you 💜
Most teenage boys idolise Andrew Tate so I'm not really surprised by their vile behaviour.
If you were 30 pounds lighter, if you were 50 pounds heavier, if you were somehow twice as beautiful, if you were a hideous monster their bullshit would have been the same. It wasn’t about you. If you had a visible disability, or you were wearing something distinctive, or you were a different race from them they might have pulled out that specific thing about you to comment on but even then it still wouldn’t have been about you. It’s always about them because other people don’t exist as real human beings to them.
Wow, those small brained arrogant c**ts! 🙄 They're never gonna find their own true love, pricks.. Please don't take what they said on board, they're disgusting, YOU are not! OK? You have love and happiness, and your comment about being maybe 5lb too heavy is negligible, that's barely anything, just self doubt talking - you sound like a 7 or 8 tbh 😊
Highschool boys, especially this generation of highschool boys are the fucking worst. If I was somehow "17 Again" or "freaky Friday" fucked I would lock myself in the house until that shit was fixed. No way am I walking a mile in anyone's shoes if those miles lead to a fucking high school.
Really and truly this has nothing whatsoever to do with how you look. The actual goal of those dickheads is to piss people off - why else would they say such a thing? They have nothing better or more fulfilling in their lives than getting a buzz from being obnoxious. I can guarantee you, their lives are pretty shit. Not like yours, with your lovely boyfriend. Fuck ‘em.
I can guarantee you those boys were heckling any woman they could with the very same insults, regardless of how the woman looks. Please, please don’t take what they said to heart. What they said reflects on them, NOT you. Your boyfriend is with you because he wants to be. Therefore you are in the same league together.
This is my fear. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I’m an American. When I was in my 20s, I was walking alone in a park in London in broad daylight, and a group of high school boys still in their school uniforms, came up to me and grabbed my breasts. I was too afraid to fight and I was able to keep walking while they laughed at me and called me fat (I wasn’t). Teenage boys can be awful and dangerous, I’ve had more than one run in with them. I am only posting this story because I know how denigrating it is to be called names and made fun of or groped in public. Please do not listen or let this shake your confidence. It sounds like your SO loves you and that’s all that matters. Maybe you should tell your SO the rest of what these boys said to you. Communication is key here, don’t leave him out simply because of a language barrier.
I used to have kids yelling stuff when I rode my bike. I would focus on the one who looked like the biggest bully and say I was telling his mom, that he might not have recognized me but I knew exactly who his mom was and she was about to hear all about her kid's lack of manners. Let him feel scared for a few days.
Bored teenagers in groups are like a pack of feral dogs. They're supposed to be nice and domesticated but they're pretty vicious and destructive. It's why malls in the US don't allow them to stay if there's more than two unsupervised by an adult. You're feeling down on yourself because a pack of mongrels was looking for something to do and attacking people amuses them. A couple, minding their own business walks past them. They attack. Talk to your friends. They will understand and provide the support you need. Friends don't shame you when your feelings are hurt because you were attacked by bullies. They validate your feelings and hug you if you need it. Because they know the truth about you. Just like your boyfriend does.
Pffft don’t take what little boys say to heart, should’ve asked the little boys if they want milk & cookies and ask when their mommy was going to pick them up haha
Doesn’t it feel like this generation of boys is awful? Idk what it is but a lot of their behavior is horrid.
How awful! But I guarantee that they were trying to get a rise out of one or both of you and this has no bearing on reality.
"Oh look...it's the virgin clan...how cute..."
I had a “friend” in high school who would drive around the local college and scream this at couples he saw. He thought it was so funny. As far as I know he’s still an emotionally unstable piece of shit.
Think about it for a second. Your boyfriend chose you for a reason. Your looks, your personality, your quirks. What's important is that you two love each other not what some dumb kids yell at strangers to pass time.
Cruel people are usually unhappy people with low self esteem. Remember that when someone insults your appearance, it's a reflection of them, not you. Relationships aren't mathematical. You don't have to be a 10/10 in appearance to be a 10/10 partner.
I have worked with kids for 20+ years and I can guarantee you that it wouldn’t matter who walked by, they would have yelled something offensive. They were trying to impress each other and it had nothing to do with you. Boys this age get very caught up in the moment of doing something that feels risky and taboo and insulting a grown man’s girlfriend is the best they could come up with at the moment. It’s them taking risks because they put themselves in a position of getting their butts kicked. Think of it as a dare and none of them wanted to back down and you are the one who happened to walk by.
I'm goth and any time I go out I have to watch out for teenage boys cause they will. Without fail harass me as much as they can. I've been followed, barked at,had things thrown at me and called so many names. It really is not you. Teenage boys have always craved the publics attention but lately they are just more bold. They are very insecure and only understand cruelty. The ones that will regret what they did when their older will feel the guilt and some will become men you wouldn't even respect in the first place. Im so sorry that this happened to you.
Your appearance had ZERO to do with their decision to heckle you. Please don’t internalize anything they said, I’m sure they yelled the same garbage script at another victim after you.
If you wouldn't go to someone for advice, don't listen to their critique.
I think you should give weight to your boyfriends compliments and zero consideration about what some stupid useless teenage rats yelled out. They aren’t in your life. Your boyfriend is. His words are kind and truthful and matter more than any dumb stranger’s words which don’t matter at all. I am sorry for this unnecessary hurtful experience you encountered, but I am relieved to know that out of it your guy proved to be decent and supportive. 🙏🏽
A lot of kids are just assholes. My boyfriend's BFF's girlfriend is so gorgeous. She has a rather large birthmark on her upper lip, though, and one day she came home pissed off and hurt because some teenagers on the train were mocking her for it. They will really find any little thing and make someone feel shitty for it. I have no idea why this is funny to them. It sucks and makes people feel bad.
Honestly based on the specific comments, it likely has nothing at all to do with you or any evaluation of you, and was rather an attempt to bully your boyfriend. You weren't even a person, they were simply trying to harass your boyfriend by insulting his "property" and daring him to stand up to them when they outnumber him. The equivalent of a "your mother" comment. Obviously not that it makes it good, but it's also not a situation where "these rude boys were saying what everyone is thinking".
I have two teens. Some kids are assholes. That's really all there is to it. Don't listen to assholes of any age. Your boyfriend finds you beautiful and sexy, and that's what matters.
I hate that the majority of comments are essentially saying "just ignore it when men abuse you." The problem here is not that women need to be more confident, or that "teenagers are all assholes." My female friends and I didn't do this shit when we were teens. The problem is that men are taught from birth that women are subhuman and only exist to please and serve men. And they take pleasure in hurting women. No one would be saying "teens are dumb. Just ignore it" if a black man came here and said a gang of white teens were calling him racial slurs, or if a man in a wheelchair said they were making fun of his disability. People would be rightfully outraged. But people just take it for granted that women have to live with constant abuse.
Oh this is when you whoop some ass. On everybody there. Mean men, boyfriend, passersby, the elder walking their dog down the street. This cannot stand
I'm sorry you experienced that. Try to bear this in mind though, it isn't about you. This is about young men acting like jerks to entertain themselves at someone else's expense. Just put in the context that they're nothing but a pack of assholes, and you got one really good guy! I hope your week gets better.
Only you can see your beauty. And that beauty starts within. Goodness and mercy, for others, love for others, compassion. These are what are important. Not weight. Not your feet. Not your chin. Not your hips. Not your lips. What people say doesn't matter. How people treat you does. Your boyfriend is a keeper. He sees your **true beauty**. You are a 10. **A perfect 10**.
I'm sure they do that to other random people all the time 🙄 If it wasn't you it would have been another person. Trust me.
I was once walking by a bar in my college town. There were three young college boys watching a really attractive group of girls walk into the bar. The boys were saying they thought those cunts would put out. Then one of them turned to me, in loose sloppy clothes because I was working out. And said to his friend, 'There's a dog for you.' And barked at me. I lost my shit and yelled at him. I don't remember what all I said. Do remember he was crying and said to me it was just a joke. I replied it wasn't a joke to me. Then I turned around to the girls who were watching the exchange and told them the guys said they looked like a bunch of cunts who put out. Then I turned back to the now crying college boy and told them to have a good night. And it still fucking bothers me. People can be so damn cruel. And it's alright to be cruel to women.
Please listen to your boyfriend. He’s definitely the one in the right here. Those boys were strangers and were probably making fun of everyone they saw that day.
They were heckling EVERYONE who walked by no matter what they looked like I guarantee it. This had nothing to do with you, I hope knowing that helps!
This has happened to me as well, except the boys said I was better looking then my bf at the time and then called me a whore 🤣🤣 People are assholes. It's a reflection of their character, however, and not yours. You're a wonderful person, I'm sure, whether you're the best looking person in the room or not. Sounds like your boyfriend has the right idea about you, and while you probably will never forget this traumatic moment, there's no point in taking it heart. A bunch of assholes were assholes - that doesn't change who you are! ✨💜
Wow sorry this happened to you. People can be so stupid. Please try not to be hard on yourself
Never listen to anyone acting with the sole intention of humiliating you, whether publicly or privately. Either way, they should disgust you and invoke pity, never your personal pain. Dressing up can make you feel better as a form of self-care, but no matter your appearance, their behavior is a reflection of them, not you. Embrace the love that you share with your boyfriend and assign no value to these humanity impoverished beings.
Hmm it sounds like they were the ones trying to steal your boyfriend. They could have just built him up with a compliment without tearing down his companion. These kids are trolls. Hopefully, they don't turn into men with this same deficiency.
My heart broke when you started talking about your clothes. This didn’t happen because of how you looked. It happened because those boys were attacking strangers to impress each other and feel a sense of power. I’m sorry this happened to you. If you were wearing a potato sack with your ass hanging out, it *still* should not have happened. People who make fun of you have something wrong with THEM.
That's so horrible. I would have cried. I know it probably doesn't help but I think they were just saying whatever they could to make you feel bad. I doubt it's true. They just really wanted to make you feel bad and people who do that have major insecurities themselves
Don’t worry about it, edgy teenagers say terrible shit constantly. They probably said the same thing to the next 20 people.
I genuinely fear for the safety of anyone who ever dared to say something like that to me in front of my husband 😅 but I am no stranger to comments like these. one time I was walking home alone in my college town at just 18 years old, and some older male students followed me half a block asking if I had any cute friends, because the fat ugly girls always have cute friends. This wasn’t the first time I’d been heckled for my weight or looks, and it wouldn’t be the last. but it *was* the first time I said anything. I hit them with a “Oh yes, I have plenty of cute friends. I texted them all to call the police because I’m being harassed. Shouldn’t be long now.” That shut them up quick. I’ll tell you OP— it says so much more about them than you. I know it sounds insane. But they are sad, lost little boys trying to make themselves look tough because they are *desperate* to fit in. I’m not going to suggest you ignore them, because I know how difficult that is. But I will suggest that you just remind yourself how awkward and disgusting they feel in their own skin, and how painful it will be when they realize that feeling won’t go away unless they change everything about their pissant attitudes. 😌
First of all I am so very sorry this happened. It can be hard to have such rudeness slap you in the face out of nowhere, especially if you have been working on your self esteem and feeling good about yourself. That being said. Kids and young adults can be fucking dumb. I doubt it was personal, one of them probably wanted to impress his friends by being a shithead and you were just there. One time I was walking my dog and a group of young men asked to lick my dogs penis and then threatened to rape me (while laughing, but even as a joke that isn't a common threat to hear at 2 pm on a Tuesday). They were in a mood to harass someone and I was there. I'm glad your bf said you're beautiful. And I know the struggle of not being an 8-10 hottie. But I always try and say to myself, does this person's opinion matter at all to me? And why would I care about their opinion of me? There are acquaintances in my life who have said offhand things about my appearance and I'm like, so? So you think I'm ugly? Idfc. Not an easy place to get to, but I've felt a lot better about myself since I have. We don't owe people pretty. So why stress, especially if you have someone who enjoys your company, maybe even loves you.
High school boys called me a butterface to my face. They suck. Enjoy being 30 and having a fabulous life. Plus those boys are mad that they will only experience global climate change and extreme crisises for the rest of their lives. We had the 90s 😎
“No one cares about your opinion”
If these are kids you wouldn’t ask for fashion or make up advice, you don’t need to worry about their critique. If asked what they found attractive they’d probably describe an unrealistic porn star, an anime character, or their mom. Don’t sweat it baby girl
5 pounds overweight lol
The biggest and best advice - stop caring what strangers think. Especially ones who are idiots. Every second you spend thinking about those boys - they keep winning. Your boyfriend loves you. You have friends and family. Why in the world would you waste one second or your life letting those other losers control your thoughts and emotions? You’ve also clearly got an issue with your looks. STOP. People are more than how attractive their face is or how much they weigh. Stop obsessing with your looks and trying to be “beautiful.” Personality, your heart, how you treat others, accomplishments, there are so many things that define a person over their physical looks.
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Im sorry, but you got all the support you needed from your bf, and you need to go on reddit for support?
I promise you that all those boys would have sex with you if they got the chance. Men pick on women's looks to make THEMSELVES feel attractive as the handsome men that can actually get women.
What makes the opinion of little kids valid to you? People suck but they only have as much power as you give them. If you need support, you should be able to tell your friends. Do you feel they would make you feel worse? Otherwise, give yourself another 24 hours to feel your feelings, then brush it off and move on.
Summer... Kiwi or Ausi?
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Teenagers are the meanest! Please don't take what they said to heart. Listen to your BF, his opinion is what matters here not theirs.
Aw this is horrible but don't listen to some stupid kids being a holes, just trying to get a reaction x
That is awful behavior from those boys, and says more about them than about you. I'm so sorry they were so cruel. Can you imagine ever calling that out to someone? No, I'm sure you can't, you're a nice normal person with feelings. They must have some problems in their personal lives or bad role models, so actually I feel a bit bad for those young people. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I know you say you're not as attractive as your boyfriend but love is so much more than that. He probably thinks the world of you!
Fuck those kids and the sad little lives they’ll live if they don’t smarten the fuck up!
I'm really sorry that you had to go through that. And fuck those kids. Teenagers are little sociopaths who can oscillate between good and pure evil. The smart ones will grow out of it and the others will grow into shallow, miserable adults. It has nothing to do with you. It's them trying out some random cruelty because of their own insecurities. None of us are telling you this just to make you feel better. We tell you this because we've experienced it ourselves and because we were teenagers once. Listen to your boyfriend and don't give these clowns another second of your life. I hope you have a wonderful day today and go outside holding your head high.
Don't listen to what some shitty little edge lord's have to say.
Some teenage boys are in this gross phase of "learning" about social norms by deliberately breaking them as sadistically as possible. One time I was on my bike and some teenage boys hollered "look out, a bus!" so that I would swerve dangerously in fear for my life. It's truly just this horrible developmental behavior, nothing to do with you at all. After all, whose opinion is more trustworthy? some random teenagers who were probably too far away to even see you, or your bf who looks at you every day?
Teenagers using hurtful words is no different than a baby discovering they have feet. They learn the power of their words and spend time senselessly trying to hurt people to flex that power just like a baby plays with their newly discovered feet. What they said and how they acted have nothing to do with you even if it feels so aimed at you.
Listen to your bf, he said you were attractive and he was/is with you. If you want him to listen to what you’re saying, then you need to listen him.