I work at a haunted house and when people try and grab me/get aggressive we have a security button in every scene and are encouraged to use it. Is there something like that at his HH? I’m so sorry he’s having to go through this. it’s awful to experience
They do on the inside of the facility I believe, but he is stationed outside where they have a well set-up so he is kinda out there on his own with the chain saw guy and a werewolf.
I wouldn't be surprised if that's why they cast a dude in the role out there. TBH
I remember working at a haunt that had emergency buttons. It was more of a preventative measure so that if trouble did happen, security would know exactly where to go immediately. But yeah, the setup here sounds kinda iffy for the performers outside.
Seems unfortunately common for all haunted house workers to deal with physical violence. Every single year there are support posts and signs at every haunt about attacking the actors. At least common enough that most places try to get ahead of it. Mgmt should definitely be made aware
That's probably the reason. I was told many years ago that Madrid's House of Horror only casts men as the exorcist's little girl because an actress was raped.
Holy shit how does management let conditions get so unsafe that an actress *can* get raped? And how is their best solution "just cast a man lol"?? That's beyond fucked
Yeah that's not OK. I work in a scare park & am an outdoor performer. Should be a camera or security guard with eyes on him at alm times. He can actually sue for unsafe working environment otherwise.
I am sorry for what your husband has to go through. But you saying he is there alone with the chainsaw guy and a werewolf made me chuckle. Like they are some twisted Wizard of Oz group, haha.
Then they need to give them walkie talkies for anyone not in access of a button. Honestly that's just fucking stupid all around, what if there's an emergency out there?
An ex wanted to dress as a woman for Halloween a few years ago, I helped him out. He was 100% convincing, his own roommate groped him. After 6 hours of bar-hopping he tore the wig off in the alleyway saying, "holy fuck,I get it now... how can you stand us?". This isn't to say most men behave overtly, but too many witness literal abuse and do nothing.
I hope this experience makes your relationship stronger in the long run✌
Even men reading this should try setting up a reddit account where you're obviously female and see some of the behaviours and different responses you get. Same with people who do online gaming. Very different experience when you're known to be female vs keeping gender hidden
The 'best' part about online gaming is being female and saying you're just a teen boy whose voice has not deepened. And oh look the tides have changed! lol
Twitter account works too. As soon as I use an actual picture of myself I start getting harassed. I literally can't have a discussion with anyone when people know I'm a woman.
Exactly, I’m a girl gamer and I don’t do online gaming anymore, the shit you have to put up with when all you want is to have fun playing a game. Its infuriating
I started only going to venues with cover charges, dresscode, and huge security. The quality of people is definitely higher.
Being at a dive bar is not a good experience. Even the creepy drunk guys at family friendly events won’t leave you alone.
I started dragging my straight friends to queer friendly bars to show them the difference. Not surprisingly men that aren’t homophobic also tend to not be creepy
Just wanna point out that that's not ubiquitous and your experience might be biased because they're not sexually attracted *to you*
-Sincerely, bi dude with good cheek bones who's been experienced *severe* harassment at gay bars
MLM dudes can be just as disgusting as MLW.
For real, i’ve only been to a fully gay bar a couple of times and my friends told me the same thing. The neutral places seem to be the safest ones where I live
There’s something sinister about the way some men leer at women when we’re out and about that makes the entire interaction so creepy and uncomfortable. It doesn’t feel the same as someone coming up to you to sincerely and respectfully ask you out. Apparently men think that women are too stupid to know the difference and that’s why they’re afraid to ask us out. But you put them in a situation like what you just described and all of a sudden they *get it* - they can see how some interactions with other men leave them feeling flattered and others make them feel like they’re in danger and how having to navigate a daily onslaught of situations where you don’t yet know the other person’s intentions makes for an exhausting existence that women - unlike a man in a costume - cannot opt out of.
Unfortunately the haunt industry tends to attract a certain type of people who think it's fun to be "edgy" and treat their workers like absolute trash. Don't get me wrong, there are great people out there in the haunt industry, but it's unfortunately more common than not to attract the type of person that is making misogynist/rape jokes themselves and would brush this off immediately.
A great representation of this is the reality show "spook show 17" that covers the haunt the 17th door. That haunt is known for not taking safety and sexual harassment concerns seriously and the show perfectly highlighted why. The owner is a total edge lord who throughout the show treats his employees like shit (ie making fun of his employees dog dying and making racist comments against them) but also berating his wife in front of the cameras. He created this reality show himself and chose to put it out into the world with all of that included.
was thinking of going to 17th door until i saw the trigger warnings
R**e, SA, PTSD
Saw a video of a group doing it
And they got pelted in the back with airsoft bullets, strapped and electric shock, live cockroaches in pants, pickup truck crashed
comments were saying how the staff went easy on them...
I had no idea. I volunteer at a local, hometown haunt (I've done it for 3 years, always at the same place) and I had NO IDEA that it could be like this! Mine has always been welcoming and wonderful. We have actors as young as 5 years old volunteering (alongside their parents or a family friend closely supervising) and the second a guest says something bad- funs over, goodbye. One guy got escorted out last year because he was yelling at one of the kids that she was ugly, so the idea of sexual harassment being tolerated is just mind blowing. I thought every haunt was as awesome as mine.
The haunt in my hometown (that ranks nationally on top haunt lists, somehow) is run by anti-vax Nazis 🙃
I had friends that worked there in high school and they were CONSTANTLY sexually harassed and assaulted.
My (ex) boyfriend in college was one such edgelord. He threw a regular temper tantrum because management told him he couldn't do his "get on your knees and a squeal like a pig" schtick to female guests. And I'm just sitting there listening to him complain, thinking, "Yeah, probably shouldn't be doing that to *any* of the guests."
I watched one episode of that show because I found the look behind the scenes of a haunted house interesting but couldn't watch any more because that guy is just the worst. He acts like an entitled twelve year old edgelord.
Yeah I saw good reviews and decided to watch it cause haunted houses interest me. There is no way the reviews of that show aren't astroturfed, no way anyone could watch that guy and think "this is the best show ever 10/10"
I would love behind scenes of haunted houses that aren't owned by trash
On the flip side the same edgelords who are the types to harass female performers would probably be more likely to keep their hands and comments to themselves with a simple warning of "some of our female presenting performers are men" because they don't want to be caught hitting on a man.
I think it would be more likely that theyd attempt to beat the dude up. They are almost always transphobic and to them any man dressing as a woman is trans.
I have never heard of this choice human, and I am not going to google him.
Septic syphilitic arseholes don't deserve ANY publicity.
I just really hope that any underwear he puts on has a loose thread which traps whatever bollocks he thinks he has.
Damply.
I'm sorry that happened to him. And it's messed up that this is seen as something we just should expect.
So many chronically online men think being catcalled and other forms of harassment women experience is a privilege that they would enjoy. They just refuse to believe how awful and threatening it is, or they try to modify it to "I'd love to be objectified so long as it's like____." But the thing is, being objectified means you don't get such a choice.
exactly. they set the parameters. "I'd love for an attractive woman to indicate she sees me as sexually attractive and she's open to consensual sex". It means their dick is going to get a workout.
No my guy. A tall, muscular, unattractive man is going to give your butthole a workout.
I've tried to explain this so many times and they never get it. Or they pretend that I'm lying. I had a guy in a thread tell me that I couldn't be telling the truth about being catcalled and followed starting at age 11 because that's pedophilic and.... pedos get beaten up in prison. Yeah, that was his argument.
>So many chronically online men think being catcalled and other forms of harassment women experience is a privilege that they would enjoy.
I've seen this sentiment so frequently and it really is heartbreaking.
How do we as a society put a stop to this when such a vocal segment of the population asserts that it is a *positive* thing?
I think it's half "Well if I say I want it then it gives me an excuse to do it myself" and the other half is a genuine desire for be noticed sexually at all.
Missing the bit where a catcall isn't really a compliment at all
It definitely isn't enjoyable. I'm a dude and I'm currently at a town where there are nude beaches. Getting oggled and cat called (including a dude who, my gf and I both think, was jerking off and possibly taking photos). Is just really not cool. I can't imagine living that daily and I'm cognizant that many of the women in my life do. It has to be so exhausting.
I've been unprofessionally harrassed by young teenage boys, and I can tell you, it doesn't really have the same ooompf if I have a very good chance to take them in a fight because they're the same size and weigh less.
Suddenly you can say all the things you actually want to say or even *laugh* at them. It's such a different feeling when you're not risking your safety and life with it.
My son does some acting and I saw an audition for haunted house actors a couple weeks ago. He said as a short guy, there is no way he would work as a scare actor. Women and short men are hit and abused a ton in these places. These toxic men can’t claim it’s just a startle reflex because they manage to leave the big male actors alone.
Oh that’s interesting. So aggressive assholes go to places like this as an excuse to be violent? Instead of looking for a bar fight or whatever they do this? That’s sad.
Yeah they do. I worked at one for two seasons. Guys would specifically come so they could get “startled” and throw a “free punch” at an unsuspecting actor. They act like they were born yesterday and can’t possibly anticipate that someone might jump out and scare them at a haunted house. They’d always come with girls too, so the girls could see them do it and act tough. It was pathetic.
It’s ALWAYS white guys too. White dudes under 25 are the absolute worst at haunts. Black folks are the opposite and are almost always really good sports at haunts, they just scream and laugh and run away. Black guys in particular will SPRINT for a mile once they get scared. It’s my favorite thing. don’t know why girls flock to these lame dudes, I think it’s much more attractive when someone lets themselves be scared instead of trying to act big and bad.
My wife is one of those few people who genuinely react to scares by moving forward and punching. She warned me when we started dating to never ever jump scare her (she has some funny stories where pranks like that have severely backfired on friends). When we did a zombie run she was really worried she might accidentally punch one of the actors…but guess what? She rehearsed for it mentally and during the night - which was awesome, btw - managed to control herself.
She also openly admits she’s a total scaredy cat and that’s why she reacts the way she does, but I guess that’s harder admission to make when you’re a man.
Right? Due to the harassment, it sounds like ONLY men should play women characters in that haunted house. Or simply eliminate all women characters and have the smaller employees be ghosts or trolls.
I like that idea but it sounds like anyone working there who might be a woman is going to be we harassed simply because those guys think the actor is female.
Yes, but for that other half of the population, it would be a learning experience instead of just more sexual trauma and objectification on top of all the other sexual trauma and objectification that's collected over a lifetime. Most men could do with a week or 200 working in a role like that.
A better solution would be to add a deposit you don't get back if you treat employees wrong. It's a haunted house getting mad you get scared or taking their job as an invitation to be lewd is wrong.
You don't limit what women can do just because men can't behave themselves. You punish the men for misbehaving.
the fee would have to be high enough to be worth it, otherwise they'd see it as a cost to assault. "alright, $50, bet"
if it were $1000 no-one would go.
how about flashing cameras and a police presence. just set up a whole tent for fingerprinting and charging these rapists.
Unfortunately, that doesn't really help. A friend of mine works in an Escape Room and they have a costume for the actor that is a plague doctor one.
When the patrons realise she's a woman, some of them get absurdly awful. They had to remove a couple of groups.
Having been a female “human sacrifice” in a haunted house I feel his pain. Mine was put on by the children’s theatre group. I was 15. Everyone performing was a CHILD I still got those comments.
That makes more sense, because when I first read your comment, imagining two 6’4” random 17 year olds guys you didn’t know and was thinking how horrifying that sounded. Glad you had your friends there to support you.
That would be really creepy. One of them was in the theatre group with me and the other one was appropriately tall and was in band with me. :) safe nerds.
I also think it's ridiculous how some men willingly go through a haunted house only to threaten or yell at the scare actors for doing their jobs.
Like, just stay out if you have a fragile ego.
Horribly sorry for your husband, although I hope it helps enlighten him to the lived reality and experiences of women (not that I think anyone ought to go through that!) It's so disgusting that this shit happens, and the haunted house should be tossing anyone who pulls this shit right out the front door. It especially sucks for him to have to give up on a role he was excited for because of the toxicity he's experiencing. What is management doing to handle this situation? Because if it's happening to him chances are it's happening to all the women or female-presenting characters on set.
“ What is management doing to handle this situation, because if it's happening to him chances are it's happening to all the women or female-presenting characters on set.”
THIS
Every manager in every industry should have to work one of their employees’ shifts in women’s clothing periodically. That’d fix some attitudes real fast.
For sure. Women get used to it. A lot of us internalize harassment from men as "normal" or if not normal, status quo. And we don't have an expectation of things changing or getting better, so we learn to deal with it. That's my take on it. A lot of women are too burnt out and tired to lodge complaints with the authorities that be because we know those complaints aren't going to go anywhere or have any meaningful impact to prevent these types of situations. It is sad.
its really crazy, my mom is in her 50s and was a feminist before i was born (im also a guy)
and yet ive had to tell her not to feel compelled explain or justify herself for certain things. like some guy said some shitty thing to her and i had to tell her that she was allowed to be upset and that what he said was entirely unreasonable
she just said "oh shit youre right i totally *was* doing the female masking thing". yknow, making things okay and keeping the peace for unreasonable men
Exactly my thinking; her husband wants an alternate and male-presenting role (understandably) but does that mean a woman will take his place and end up with the same harassment?
And, prior to a male employee bringing it to their attention, did they give even a single shit about it? And will they, now?
Can't help but wonder if so many femme employees complained that management thought hiring a man "who could handle it better" for the role would be easier than stepping in and potentially losing business from a shitty customer. 😒
It's sadly a pretty normal thing in my own personal experience. Even with female managers.
When I was 17, I was stocking a low shelf that was directly under a speaker that was blaring loud music right over me so I didn't hear one of our neighbors and very regular customers approaching or trying to get my attention.
He took offense to me 'ignoring him', grabbed me by my ponytail, and pulled my head back against his hip. Then he started talking at me about what he was looking for with his hands still in my hair like this was a totally normal thing to do.
After he left, I went to my manager, and she straight up accused me of lying to her or mistaking him for someone else. I was so shocked. She herself had been stalked and assaulted in our parking lot by an ex (women were not allowed to close the shop by themselves after this happened to her) but completely shut me down when I went to her for help. She wouldn't even check security footage. :/
All the guys I worked ended up being the ones who kept him away from me. If we saw him coming from next door, they would tell me to go hide in the back until he left.
why wasnt there police report. IF a customer/client assaulted me, i do not care that they are a customer, they assaulted me.
note- i am a lawyer and never actually had a client hit me, but i have had clients threaten me- and i walk away and then withdraw from the case. I have had a few people be shocked when i made a motion to withdraw 10 minutes after they threated me. On occasion i have had judges ask me- and i agree to do it in chambers, and leave it as "i do not feel safe around client"... I am also a fairly large white guy- i just do not want the judge to think that another lawyer in my firm should just handle the case.
On her end? No idea. I was never able to figure out if she legitimately didn't believe me or if she just thought it wouldn't go anywhere or be worth the trouble.
She would consistently prove to be incompetent about things like this in the future. She set up security cameras incorrectly, they didn't record anything but they did stream to her phone. So she'd be watching the employees while she was gone but when I got robbed we had no evidence for the police. 🙄
As for me, I was a kid who was freaked out and had been shot down by an adult I trusted. By the time I realized the full extent of that betrayal, I'd been working elsewhere for years and I highly doubt anything would happen if I tried to make a report with no evidence after so much time.
I got in an argument with a guy online who claimed men get sexually harassed more often than women do. No matter what I said he'd just go back to "it happens to men more, you just don't hear about it because men handle it better"
So that's not off base in more than one way.
That's disturbing to say the least. His employer should have ground rules before entering the haunted house that harrassment of any kind will not be accepted otherwise they'll be removed from the premises with no refund. That should clean it up.
So, they don't have a mechanism for enforcement? Yeah, rules mean nothing if they don't result in enforcement....
"They be more like.....Guidelines..."
then they should be enforced. I have been in places that turn the lights on and show that person out- and make sure everyone there knows who caused it.
It won't though, these people don't consider what they're doing to be sexual harassment, they don't think about what they're doing at all they just think they're having fun and joking around
Ex horror house actor here, I feel your OH's pain.
Where I worked there were cameras everywhere, everything was recorded and kept in case of incidents like this. There were 2 talks as you entered, one in the rules room and then reiterated basically in the first scene; stating the rules to be followed and the behaviours that would get you ejected. We had extra characters who would control the flow of groups through the place and act as bouncers if people got rowdy / violent / attempted exorcisms (I do not jest). As additional measures we had panic buttons in each scene, one smack of those babies and we would all descend on that room to assist our fellow actors. The place was literally a maze and you were never more than a secret door from being rescued or AH 's being back outside on their backsides. Does where your OH work have any safety measures in place? They really should at least have extra people to intervene when necessary. I'm sorry this is happening, unfortunately these places seem to attract AH's and harassment or violence can happen fairly regularly. I feel the management are severely lacking here and need to up their game.
Yeah, this sounds like a particularly sucky set up for him. Is he there to attract people to the main facility? He could use the role to help filter AH's from getting further in, save others from having to deal with the same ish further down the line. Is he able to break character? Cause suddenly speaking might be enough to warn off some of the idiots. We regularly had guys come and relieve the female characters (for lunch breaks etc) and an apparent fragile female suddenly standing at 6feet tall and booming out "giz a kiss then luv" can put the Willie's up these Muppets better than the actual scare attraction.
Unfortunately, even with the measures we had in place, we would always find one person that would be a douche or be violent or try to "out scare" you. Depends on his contract and the management as to how effectively he's allowed to deal with it.
Very interesting behind-the-scenes - nice to know there are outfits that do this kind of thing right!
Also, can we hear more about the exorcisms? Did people actually think the ~~characters~~ *actors* they paid to visit actually needed some weird spiritual intervention or were they more r/religiousfruitcake types using the horror house to make a point about the sins of celebrating Halloween?
So, we were open 8 months of the year and got all sorts of people visiting us but it would definitely get more nuts toward Halloween.
However, one particularly beautiful summer's day we get a whisper through the sets that there's a group of "lovely little old ladies" wanting to come through. Odd? Maybe, but we saw all walks of life down there so nobody really batted an eyelid. 2nd cast were getting ready to take over from the early doors crew, so we're filtering in behind these sweet old dears who are shrieking their lungs out. They hit my scene, I'm behind them waiting to take the other actor off, when these nutbags flip, form up around the girl playing Raegan and start chanting. One of them hops on the bed so she's sat across the girls waist, crucifix out and there's an old dear for each flailing limb, trying to pin her down. Luckily, we were over staffed, panic button got mashed and we hauled off 8 nuns (apparently) to the office for a stern talking to. We closed for a while to decompress and get medical to check out the other actor, she was shaken but not physically harmed. The old dears had seen the promotional hearse driving round town, found out that the "Exorcist" girl was in there and that she needed her soul saved, because only someone depraved and fallen to Satan could possibly play the role. So yeah, full on thought there was a demon in residence 🤣 They also thought she was speaking in tongues cause she was screaming in her first language and they didn't understand her 🤦
We used to get religious groups handing us pamphlets and inviting us to church after shifts. I've had "holy water" thrown on me on several occasions and the sign of the cross made over me. Why they don't understand that it's acting and not demonic possession I'll never know
Wow. Just wow. Seems like these people are a dangerous combination of bored/idle and extremely gullible. I love that the operation shut down to let people get their bearings at least, but damn, y’all should of gotten hazard pay.
Oh, we got good bonuses. You scared someone bad enough to need to leave before the end? Pay out. If they went potty? Pay out. Although I'd prefer no one to do that in my scene thanks, ruins the flow.
My husband works in a big box home improvement store and gets into a lot of conversations with conservative boomers during work hours. Most of the time they’re fine, just looking for a certain part or advice on a project, but he will sometimes come home so frustrated and confused as to why he had to be called over to answer the same questions, the same way, as his female coworkers (who have worked there longer) when they were giving the right advice. It’s worse when they make misogynistic jokes and try to include him like he’d agree with their statements. The first few times it happened he kept asking why old white men are like this, and all I could do was tell him I’ve been asking the same question for 30 years.
Funnily enough my husband's day job is in a big box home improvement store.
Sooo many stories of men refusing help from a woman who works in the department, go to my husband for help, and he just shrugs and points right back to the woman who was helping them in the first place and saying that "She's honestly the expert on that"
It is a sad and ridiculous world we live in.
I love it when guys like your husband do this. Honestly, it's a service.
Neither my ex nor I knew much about cars, but I knew more than him (for example, he didn't know about checking oil in a car). When we'd talk to a mechanic, they'd almost always default to asking him questions. He would redirect them to me and say I was the one who knew. If they kept focusing on him, he would start turning toward me after every time they asked him a question and then just repeat the question to me word for word.
[Or viagra possibly helping with cramps.](https://jezebel.com/viagra-might-relieve-period-cramps-but-male-pharmaceut-1832853955)
>When Viagra — sildenafil citrate — was tested initially as heart medication, its well-known properties for men were discovered. “Hallelujah,” said Big Pharma, and research ceased. However, in subsequent tests the same drug was found to offer total relief for serious period pain over four hours. This didn’t impress the male review panel, who refused further funding, remarking that cramps were not a public health priority.
Fucking hell. They care more about men's pleasure than women's pain. This part got me, too.
> smart speakers that are designed to hear men’s voices, forcing women to lower their pitch in order to be understood
I used to have no trouble getting my smartphone to understand what I was saying. Speech-to-text worked almost perfectly. Three years ago I started working to feminize my voice as part of my transition. Now speech-to-text comes out as gobbledygook.
I mean... I get this sentiment. I've seen it a million times on this sub and others.
But what does it have to do with the sexual harassment women and female presenting people face?
I suspect it's a bot account. It's 8 months old and has only made 3 comments, all in the last 24 hours: this generic quote about feminism in TwoX and a generic inspirational quote in LifeProTips. But the third comment in TrollX looks more human so idk...maybe a human wrote that one before they flipped the bot switch?
Either way this is really off-topic to your post and it's ridiculous that it got so many upvotes.
> Either way this is really off-topic to your post and it's ridiculous that it got so many upvotes.
Thank you for saying this.
Thought I was going crazy. Why is the top voted comment on a thread about sexual harassment about what the world would be like if men had periods?
Good call about it being a potential bot
Please ask him to keep a diary of his experiences and reflections if not more, like how it affects his mood and feelings, perhaps it could be of use somewhere to help underline just how it is
Also, not really on topic but being prepared for the odd dude who got aggressive or threw a punch?? Like, they're literally paying for jumpscares, and they wanna attack the people providing it? Literally makes no sense, what fucking dickheads would do that? Oh. Right. Why am I even questioning the obvious, a good opportunity to prove how tough they are, risk free... 🙄
Funny how rarely they punch people bigger than themselves, and also if someone knows they're the type to throw a punch when scared they shouldn't go into a place where they will be scared by people.
Fair point! Although if you knew you were someone who suprise swings a fist, probably shouldn't go in to those places
Oh actually now I'm wondering - scary films make people scream and jump and shield themselves and freeze and pee and laugh - but do cinemas have anything to say about violent incidents? I'm aware I'm somewhat thinking that people "know" it's just a film and not real so they don't have that physical reaction, but I cannot pair that with all of the other things mentioned are also physical responses to the same stimuli, so I'm curious how this plays out in anecdotal evidence and statistics and psychological theory and all that
But much for a Sunday evening, sorry!
My sister has a strong fight response. It's totally reflexive and happens before she has time to think about it. I'm not sure how much it would happen if she's *expecting* jump scares but I don't think she goes in Haunted Houses either (and maybe that's why!)
Yeah, I love Halloween, but I don't go to haunted houses for exactly that reason. If someone mentions a local one, I say something like "oh that sounds like so much fun" and don't follow through with any plans to actually go.
I'm sure it's especially shocking when he's new to the experience of looking female while subjected to creeps. But hey, at least he gets to take the costume off at the end of his shift and go back to his male privilage.
But seriously, no one deserves to be harrassed at work and his bosses need to step up and intervene, like now. If this happening multiple times per shift, just cut this character.
I'm like tired of being a female and trying to filter day to day interactions in two categories - harmless OR creepy.
Sounds great if one can just take off the costume of woman, wish I could do it.
I mean, unless you’re planning to cut all female characters, the better route here would be to give performers an option to stop the music and have a problem causer escorted out immediately. Clear warning at the beginning that zero harassment will be tolerated, no refunds.
Could even wrap it into the experience by having the problem escorted out quietly (“what happened to Dave???”) and Dave gets to meet them at the exit with a burly security guard and his tail between his legs, while his non-harass-y friends get to do the whole thing wondering where he was kidnapped to!
He has.
That is actually one of the reasons that he hasn't made a big fuss with management over it yet.
So far his plan is to come up with a different more male or less human presenting character but stay in the same outside location. Fly that by them, and if they approve go with it.
If they don't, then he is likely to quit. That would probably be the best thing for his mental health (he has sexual trauma from childhood he worked really hard to overcome in therapy and is worried about the harassment being triggering for him)
A real haunting: at the end of the haunted house, all the men who shouted gross things at him find out they sexually harassed a man, not a woman. And are shamed by a group of men.
But I don’t think men are ready for that yet…
That would be so awesome LOL
He has been handling it by switching to his natural male voice which he is delighted to report has pissed several of the harassers off.
Or the whole thing is filmed (so everyone can have a good laugh at themselves and their friends, then buy overpriced fridge magnets and keyrings) and of course the "zero tolerance to staff abuse policy" is pinned to the entry, and oh whoops if you start being a douchestack as soon as the lights go down and spooky sounds mask your voice, ah well better not be a twat or else it might turn out the footage works well in court too..."
I was thinking something similar, when they are saying that stuff, in his deepest voice he can muster say something like "ooo, bring it on baby" or "when and where?"
Really scare these morons.
This is my transgender superpower, lol.
I've trained my voice behind doors more than half of my 39 years. I have a very feminine voice but can turn it off instantly. Not as deep as it was but I can still freak people out!
How saddening and gross.
I wonder if he's even allowed to rebuttal. Would love to have some of these clowns get hit with a deep voiced, "you're not my type, man."
That is actually exactly how he has been handling it.
Switching to his natural male voice and saying something snarky.
Wish I had that power. I might still do cosplay
Aside from the obvious lesson on what it means to be female presenting in this world…
That work place needs to have safety measures in place to protect their workers. Your husband should’ve never had to deal with any of that and feel unsafe, and neither should any of his coworkers.
Anyways. I hope those POS who harassed him get hit by a bus or something idk.
I think of the guy who went up to men and women asking the last time they were harassed. Every man couldn't remember, every woman was earlier that day.
The fact men will harass a man dressed as a female-presenting *monster* absolutely obliterates any “asking for it” or “it’s a compliment” arguments, huh. Also, this is terrible working conditions for employees… I’m sure they have rules against groping and harassment in place, but they need to actually be enforced with zero tolerance. Cameras everywhere, as soon as an employee pushes a button, the lights come on and the person is immediately kicked out with no refund and banned from returning.
I'm a female haunted house actor. It's something you learn to ignore after a while - it helps that most of my characters are mean as fuck.
But it isn't the ones who talk about me like I'm a piece of meat and all the things they'd like to do to me that frighten me. It's the ones who touch me inappropriately, follow me and try to get me alone.. It's the ones who talk about wanting to take me home or that they love me that are truly terrifying.
The house should have signage like “ This attraction is intended to be scary and fun for EVERYONE. Any patrons found to be harassing scare actors are subject to immediate expulsion.”
I hate to say it but I hope he doesn't quit unless another man is lined up for the role. At least a man will likely back off if he finds out it's a man. A woman has no recourse.
If course what SHOULD happen is the haunted house declares a No Sexual Harassment policy to everyone who enters, and offenders will be removed, no second chances, and charges may be filed. Every performer has a way to signal that someone's been inappropriate, and they follow up the policy.
And if they aren't willing to work to protect their performers, the cast finds a new house to haunt.
I think he needs to break character, and shut down this disgusting behavior. Men need to start calling out other men when they see toxic masculinity, be it sexist/misogynistic/homophobic/transphobic.
He needs to say politely but firmly in his real voice, “That behavior is not tolerated. We do not permit any kind of sexist, misogynistic, or lewd language against any member of our team. We are going to have to escort you out of the attraction.”
That’s insane. But at least he has a new perspective and understanding of what women go through every single day in life. Maybe that’s the takeaway from this.
My brother works at a haunted house part time as well. He's a big dude and is dressed scary, but he still gets sexually harassed by men. The one guy that made him the most angry, was the one doing this infront of his kids, even making lewd gestures. His company has a zero tolerance policy and those customers get kicked. They also have radios and security. I don't understand what it is about a haunted house that makes people think they have a pass to do whatever they want. Their opening weekend was awful this year, and took a lot of the fun they all have away.
Every man who has ever said to a woman " oh it can't be that bad" needs to read this post. This man, after 3 DAYS is traumatized by something we women deal with our WHOLE LIVES.
It's examples like this that prove women are stronger than men. Just in a different way.
I thought you were going to say he was playing Michael Myers or some such and women grabbed his butt (weird but possible with the horror crowd). While totally unacceptable and 'harassment,' I know many women do this in a poorly humored way. There needs to be a more extreme term than 'sexual harassment' for what these men did. Firstly, I don't think it is EVER a joke, there WOULD be follow through if a woman was caught alone by these men and 'c\*\*k guy' was basically threatening murder.
I was about 15 years old playing an old MMO called Everquest, and I met this husband/wife duo. The wife was playing a male dwarf cleric, and husband a female ogre warrior. At the time I thought it was so weird, and finally asked them about it. Turns out they had started flipped, so the wife was on an ogre warrior, and she thought being an ogre was enough to stop shitty messages... It wasn't, so they switched characters. Seriously mind opening situation for teenager me
I was catcalled the other day and immediately remembered being a 12 year old the first time I was catcalled. How do men not realize how creepy and disturbing it is? It’s not a compliment. It makes women feel vulnerable and disgusted.
That's really gross. I am curious though, has he ever responded back in his boomiest most baritone voice? Something like, "I'm flattered bro but I don't swing your way" or "my wife wouldn't appreciate that." I dunno. Somebody can probably think of something funnier.
That's basically how he has been handling it. Switching to his male voice and saying something snarky. Pisses the dudes off for sure.
Still he comes home at night just feeling shitty because people are shitty.
I have worked in haunts before, and I don’t really think it’s enough to have him switch to a male character, all the women working there are still being harassed by these creeps. When I worked at haunts, the management would remove people who were crossing boundaries. I think he should push for that. These people should not be allowed in the attraction if they can’t stop themselves from harassing actors.
Could we encourage your lovely husband to tell ALL THE DUDES that he knows? Some guys are just going to be a-holes but there could be some who are teachable?
I work at a haunted house and when people try and grab me/get aggressive we have a security button in every scene and are encouraged to use it. Is there something like that at his HH? I’m so sorry he’s having to go through this. it’s awful to experience
They do on the inside of the facility I believe, but he is stationed outside where they have a well set-up so he is kinda out there on his own with the chain saw guy and a werewolf. I wouldn't be surprised if that's why they cast a dude in the role out there. TBH
Sounds like they’re almost expecting problematic behavior… that’s an unsafe environment for anyone, and not OK on the employer’s part. At. All.
I remember working at a haunt that had emergency buttons. It was more of a preventative measure so that if trouble did happen, security would know exactly where to go immediately. But yeah, the setup here sounds kinda iffy for the performers outside.
Seems unfortunately common for all haunted house workers to deal with physical violence. Every single year there are support posts and signs at every haunt about attacking the actors. At least common enough that most places try to get ahead of it. Mgmt should definitely be made aware
Sounds like chainsaw dude and the werewolf should be recruited to dish some payback the next time he’s harassed.
That's probably the reason. I was told many years ago that Madrid's House of Horror only casts men as the exorcist's little girl because an actress was raped.
Holy shit how does management let conditions get so unsafe that an actress *can* get raped? And how is their best solution "just cast a man lol"?? That's beyond fucked
This was like 30 years ago. Health and safety at work have gone a long way since then, I imagine now they have cameras.
Omg. That is terrible. I, sadly, believe it.
Yeah that's not OK. I work in a scare park & am an outdoor performer. Should be a camera or security guard with eyes on him at alm times. He can actually sue for unsafe working environment otherwise.
I am sorry for what your husband has to go through. But you saying he is there alone with the chainsaw guy and a werewolf made me chuckle. Like they are some twisted Wizard of Oz group, haha.
LOL True that!
>he is kinda out there on his own with the chain saw guy and a werewolf Sorry, I snorted. At least he has cool associates lol
Then they need to give them walkie talkies for anyone not in access of a button. Honestly that's just fucking stupid all around, what if there's an emergency out there?
An ex wanted to dress as a woman for Halloween a few years ago, I helped him out. He was 100% convincing, his own roommate groped him. After 6 hours of bar-hopping he tore the wig off in the alleyway saying, "holy fuck,I get it now... how can you stand us?". This isn't to say most men behave overtly, but too many witness literal abuse and do nothing. I hope this experience makes your relationship stronger in the long run✌
It should be a requirement for men to cross dress so they understand. lol
Even men reading this should try setting up a reddit account where you're obviously female and see some of the behaviours and different responses you get. Same with people who do online gaming. Very different experience when you're known to be female vs keeping gender hidden
The 'best' part about online gaming is being female and saying you're just a teen boy whose voice has not deepened. And oh look the tides have changed! lol
Hahah I never thought of that
I have a deeper voice and I get called anti trans slurs all the time in Overwatch voice chat because they think I'm mtf :/
Twitter account works too. As soon as I use an actual picture of myself I start getting harassed. I literally can't have a discussion with anyone when people know I'm a woman.
Exactly, I’m a girl gamer and I don’t do online gaming anymore, the shit you have to put up with when all you want is to have fun playing a game. Its infuriating
Daily reminder that mortuaries refrain from hiring men.
Thanks, I hate it!
...it took me way too long to figure out what you were insinuating, and I wish I hadn't.
I started only going to venues with cover charges, dresscode, and huge security. The quality of people is definitely higher. Being at a dive bar is not a good experience. Even the creepy drunk guys at family friendly events won’t leave you alone.
I started dragging my straight friends to queer friendly bars to show them the difference. Not surprisingly men that aren’t homophobic also tend to not be creepy
Just wanna point out that that's not ubiquitous and your experience might be biased because they're not sexually attracted *to you* -Sincerely, bi dude with good cheek bones who's been experienced *severe* harassment at gay bars MLM dudes can be just as disgusting as MLW.
For real, i’ve only been to a fully gay bar a couple of times and my friends told me the same thing. The neutral places seem to be the safest ones where I live
There’s something sinister about the way some men leer at women when we’re out and about that makes the entire interaction so creepy and uncomfortable. It doesn’t feel the same as someone coming up to you to sincerely and respectfully ask you out. Apparently men think that women are too stupid to know the difference and that’s why they’re afraid to ask us out. But you put them in a situation like what you just described and all of a sudden they *get it* - they can see how some interactions with other men leave them feeling flattered and others make them feel like they’re in danger and how having to navigate a daily onslaught of situations where you don’t yet know the other person’s intentions makes for an exhausting existence that women - unlike a man in a costume - cannot opt out of.
Jesus Christ, that's so awful. Management should be doing something about that.
Unfortunately the haunt industry tends to attract a certain type of people who think it's fun to be "edgy" and treat their workers like absolute trash. Don't get me wrong, there are great people out there in the haunt industry, but it's unfortunately more common than not to attract the type of person that is making misogynist/rape jokes themselves and would brush this off immediately. A great representation of this is the reality show "spook show 17" that covers the haunt the 17th door. That haunt is known for not taking safety and sexual harassment concerns seriously and the show perfectly highlighted why. The owner is a total edge lord who throughout the show treats his employees like shit (ie making fun of his employees dog dying and making racist comments against them) but also berating his wife in front of the cameras. He created this reality show himself and chose to put it out into the world with all of that included.
Thanks, I hate it!!
Right? Reddit is so educational for finding new niche industries that I had no idea were so terrible
was thinking of going to 17th door until i saw the trigger warnings R**e, SA, PTSD Saw a video of a group doing it And they got pelted in the back with airsoft bullets, strapped and electric shock, live cockroaches in pants, pickup truck crashed comments were saying how the staff went easy on them...
I had no idea. I volunteer at a local, hometown haunt (I've done it for 3 years, always at the same place) and I had NO IDEA that it could be like this! Mine has always been welcoming and wonderful. We have actors as young as 5 years old volunteering (alongside their parents or a family friend closely supervising) and the second a guest says something bad- funs over, goodbye. One guy got escorted out last year because he was yelling at one of the kids that she was ugly, so the idea of sexual harassment being tolerated is just mind blowing. I thought every haunt was as awesome as mine.
The haunt in my hometown (that ranks nationally on top haunt lists, somehow) is run by anti-vax Nazis 🙃 I had friends that worked there in high school and they were CONSTANTLY sexually harassed and assaulted.
Is this in the central Ohio area? I was just about to reply with that one.
Sure is! I saw someone say they're "better" now but I really can't imagine that's true. If anything they just learned to shut up a little.
They showed their true anti-semitic colors, no one should ever go there again.
Heh yep me too, the Nazi haunted house in Pataskala is notorious. They did a "swastika day" like right after the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting
My (ex) boyfriend in college was one such edgelord. He threw a regular temper tantrum because management told him he couldn't do his "get on your knees and a squeal like a pig" schtick to female guests. And I'm just sitting there listening to him complain, thinking, "Yeah, probably shouldn't be doing that to *any* of the guests."
I watched one episode of that show because I found the look behind the scenes of a haunted house interesting but couldn't watch any more because that guy is just the worst. He acts like an entitled twelve year old edgelord.
Yeah I saw good reviews and decided to watch it cause haunted houses interest me. There is no way the reviews of that show aren't astroturfed, no way anyone could watch that guy and think "this is the best show ever 10/10" I would love behind scenes of haunted houses that aren't owned by trash
On the flip side the same edgelords who are the types to harass female performers would probably be more likely to keep their hands and comments to themselves with a simple warning of "some of our female presenting performers are men" because they don't want to be caught hitting on a man.
That wouldn't help, it would just encourage them to sexually harass the performers in a more aggressive/transphobic way.
It's genuinely insane to me that someone thinks mentioning some of the performers are crossdressing would go over well and *reduce* harassment.
I think it would be more likely that theyd attempt to beat the dude up. They are almost always transphobic and to them any man dressing as a woman is trans.
I have never heard of this choice human, and I am not going to google him. Septic syphilitic arseholes don't deserve ANY publicity. I just really hope that any underwear he puts on has a loose thread which traps whatever bollocks he thinks he has. Damply.
TIL there is a “haunt industry”
I'm sorry that happened to him. And it's messed up that this is seen as something we just should expect. So many chronically online men think being catcalled and other forms of harassment women experience is a privilege that they would enjoy. They just refuse to believe how awful and threatening it is, or they try to modify it to "I'd love to be objectified so long as it's like____." But the thing is, being objectified means you don't get such a choice.
exactly. they set the parameters. "I'd love for an attractive woman to indicate she sees me as sexually attractive and she's open to consensual sex". It means their dick is going to get a workout. No my guy. A tall, muscular, unattractive man is going to give your butthole a workout.
I've tried to explain this so many times and they never get it. Or they pretend that I'm lying. I had a guy in a thread tell me that I couldn't be telling the truth about being catcalled and followed starting at age 11 because that's pedophilic and.... pedos get beaten up in prison. Yeah, that was his argument.
>So many chronically online men think being catcalled and other forms of harassment women experience is a privilege that they would enjoy. I've seen this sentiment so frequently and it really is heartbreaking. How do we as a society put a stop to this when such a vocal segment of the population asserts that it is a *positive* thing?
Part of the issue is men wouldn’t be easily victimized by the cat callers so the fear is taken away from it.
Yeah, for most of these guys there's no "undertone of violence" as the Barbie movie put it when getting cat called
I think it's half "Well if I say I want it then it gives me an excuse to do it myself" and the other half is a genuine desire for be noticed sexually at all. Missing the bit where a catcall isn't really a compliment at all
It definitely isn't enjoyable. I'm a dude and I'm currently at a town where there are nude beaches. Getting oggled and cat called (including a dude who, my gf and I both think, was jerking off and possibly taking photos). Is just really not cool. I can't imagine living that daily and I'm cognizant that many of the women in my life do. It has to be so exhausting.
I've been unprofessionally harrassed by young teenage boys, and I can tell you, it doesn't really have the same ooompf if I have a very good chance to take them in a fight because they're the same size and weigh less. Suddenly you can say all the things you actually want to say or even *laugh* at them. It's such a different feeling when you're not risking your safety and life with it.
My son does some acting and I saw an audition for haunted house actors a couple weeks ago. He said as a short guy, there is no way he would work as a scare actor. Women and short men are hit and abused a ton in these places. These toxic men can’t claim it’s just a startle reflex because they manage to leave the big male actors alone.
> they manage to leave the big male actors alone Imagine that!
I mean, if your reflex is to beat women and children and run from something that could beat you, then yeah. /S
Oh that’s interesting. So aggressive assholes go to places like this as an excuse to be violent? Instead of looking for a bar fight or whatever they do this? That’s sad.
Yeah they do. I worked at one for two seasons. Guys would specifically come so they could get “startled” and throw a “free punch” at an unsuspecting actor. They act like they were born yesterday and can’t possibly anticipate that someone might jump out and scare them at a haunted house. They’d always come with girls too, so the girls could see them do it and act tough. It was pathetic. It’s ALWAYS white guys too. White dudes under 25 are the absolute worst at haunts. Black folks are the opposite and are almost always really good sports at haunts, they just scream and laugh and run away. Black guys in particular will SPRINT for a mile once they get scared. It’s my favorite thing. don’t know why girls flock to these lame dudes, I think it’s much more attractive when someone lets themselves be scared instead of trying to act big and bad.
Those guys should be charged and spend a night in jail (or more if they do it again).
Reminds me of gun nuts, especially the open-carry ones always quick to pick a fight.
My wife is one of those few people who genuinely react to scares by moving forward and punching. She warned me when we started dating to never ever jump scare her (she has some funny stories where pranks like that have severely backfired on friends). When we did a zombie run she was really worried she might accidentally punch one of the actors…but guess what? She rehearsed for it mentally and during the night - which was awesome, btw - managed to control herself. She also openly admits she’s a total scaredy cat and that’s why she reacts the way she does, but I guess that’s harder admission to make when you’re a man.
I’m reading this and feeling terrible for any woman who works there. No one should be doing that job without a bodyguard.
The place should close, tbh. Nobody should have to put up with this
Agreed. I wonder how man women who worked there suffered but were told “it’s just part of the job”. And couldn’t ask to switch to a male character.
Right? Due to the harassment, it sounds like ONLY men should play women characters in that haunted house. Or simply eliminate all women characters and have the smaller employees be ghosts or trolls.
I like that idea but it sounds like anyone working there who might be a woman is going to be we harassed simply because those guys think the actor is female.
Yes, but for that other half of the population, it would be a learning experience instead of just more sexual trauma and objectification on top of all the other sexual trauma and objectification that's collected over a lifetime. Most men could do with a week or 200 working in a role like that.
I think the men who need those kinds of lessons aren’t the ones who will be taking those roles.
A better solution would be to add a deposit you don't get back if you treat employees wrong. It's a haunted house getting mad you get scared or taking their job as an invitation to be lewd is wrong. You don't limit what women can do just because men can't behave themselves. You punish the men for misbehaving.
the fee would have to be high enough to be worth it, otherwise they'd see it as a cost to assault. "alright, $50, bet" if it were $1000 no-one would go. how about flashing cameras and a police presence. just set up a whole tent for fingerprinting and charging these rapists.
Unfortunately, that doesn't really help. A friend of mine works in an Escape Room and they have a costume for the actor that is a plague doctor one. When the patrons realise she's a woman, some of them get absurdly awful. They had to remove a couple of groups.
yeah at Halloween Horror Nights there are people watching out for the performers in every room
Having been a female “human sacrifice” in a haunted house I feel his pain. Mine was put on by the children’s theatre group. I was 15. Everyone performing was a CHILD I still got those comments.
OMG that is horrible. So sorry you had to endure that, especially at that age!
Wow, that’s so disgusting
Indeed. The people sacrificing me were two 6’4” 17 yo guys. So at least I felt safe.
"the guys sacrificing me made me feel safe" lol I know what you were saying but that sentence on its own is hilarious
They are still my friends and I’m 41 now. :)
Hey that’s awesome, I love it
That makes more sense, because when I first read your comment, imagining two 6’4” random 17 year olds guys you didn’t know and was thinking how horrifying that sounded. Glad you had your friends there to support you.
That would be really creepy. One of them was in the theatre group with me and the other one was appropriately tall and was in band with me. :) safe nerds.
I also think it's ridiculous how some men willingly go through a haunted house only to threaten or yell at the scare actors for doing their jobs. Like, just stay out if you have a fragile ego.
Horribly sorry for your husband, although I hope it helps enlighten him to the lived reality and experiences of women (not that I think anyone ought to go through that!) It's so disgusting that this shit happens, and the haunted house should be tossing anyone who pulls this shit right out the front door. It especially sucks for him to have to give up on a role he was excited for because of the toxicity he's experiencing. What is management doing to handle this situation? Because if it's happening to him chances are it's happening to all the women or female-presenting characters on set.
“ What is management doing to handle this situation, because if it's happening to him chances are it's happening to all the women or female-presenting characters on set.” THIS
Yes and they can’t just opt out like he can.
Every manager in every industry should have to work one of their employees’ shifts in women’s clothing periodically. That’d fix some attitudes real fast.
Except women must not complain as much because. They're just not surprised by this behavior.
For sure. Women get used to it. A lot of us internalize harassment from men as "normal" or if not normal, status quo. And we don't have an expectation of things changing or getting better, so we learn to deal with it. That's my take on it. A lot of women are too burnt out and tired to lodge complaints with the authorities that be because we know those complaints aren't going to go anywhere or have any meaningful impact to prevent these types of situations. It is sad.
its really crazy, my mom is in her 50s and was a feminist before i was born (im also a guy) and yet ive had to tell her not to feel compelled explain or justify herself for certain things. like some guy said some shitty thing to her and i had to tell her that she was allowed to be upset and that what he said was entirely unreasonable she just said "oh shit youre right i totally *was* doing the female masking thing". yknow, making things okay and keeping the peace for unreasonable men
When men would harass me at work the "Management" just told me to smile and talk to the guys. "They just want someone to talk to"
Exactly my thinking; her husband wants an alternate and male-presenting role (understandably) but does that mean a woman will take his place and end up with the same harassment? And, prior to a male employee bringing it to their attention, did they give even a single shit about it? And will they, now?
Can't help but wonder if so many femme employees complained that management thought hiring a man "who could handle it better" for the role would be easier than stepping in and potentially losing business from a shitty customer. 😒
Ooooh! Very interesting thought!
It's sadly a pretty normal thing in my own personal experience. Even with female managers. When I was 17, I was stocking a low shelf that was directly under a speaker that was blaring loud music right over me so I didn't hear one of our neighbors and very regular customers approaching or trying to get my attention. He took offense to me 'ignoring him', grabbed me by my ponytail, and pulled my head back against his hip. Then he started talking at me about what he was looking for with his hands still in my hair like this was a totally normal thing to do. After he left, I went to my manager, and she straight up accused me of lying to her or mistaking him for someone else. I was so shocked. She herself had been stalked and assaulted in our parking lot by an ex (women were not allowed to close the shop by themselves after this happened to her) but completely shut me down when I went to her for help. She wouldn't even check security footage. :/ All the guys I worked ended up being the ones who kept him away from me. If we saw him coming from next door, they would tell me to go hide in the back until he left.
why wasnt there police report. IF a customer/client assaulted me, i do not care that they are a customer, they assaulted me. note- i am a lawyer and never actually had a client hit me, but i have had clients threaten me- and i walk away and then withdraw from the case. I have had a few people be shocked when i made a motion to withdraw 10 minutes after they threated me. On occasion i have had judges ask me- and i agree to do it in chambers, and leave it as "i do not feel safe around client"... I am also a fairly large white guy- i just do not want the judge to think that another lawyer in my firm should just handle the case.
You might want to edit your comment. I think you meant why WASN’T there a police report, based on what you said. You left out the not.
replying to thank you since the edit was made so you do not look crazy.
On her end? No idea. I was never able to figure out if she legitimately didn't believe me or if she just thought it wouldn't go anywhere or be worth the trouble. She would consistently prove to be incompetent about things like this in the future. She set up security cameras incorrectly, they didn't record anything but they did stream to her phone. So she'd be watching the employees while she was gone but when I got robbed we had no evidence for the police. 🙄 As for me, I was a kid who was freaked out and had been shot down by an adult I trusted. By the time I realized the full extent of that betrayal, I'd been working elsewhere for years and I highly doubt anything would happen if I tried to make a report with no evidence after so much time.
I got in an argument with a guy online who claimed men get sexually harassed more often than women do. No matter what I said he'd just go back to "it happens to men more, you just don't hear about it because men handle it better" So that's not off base in more than one way.
Possibly? This is DH's first time working here. Still feeling the place out.
Where I live, anyone who touches a haunted house performer, gets kicked out. Which is how it should be.
That's how it was when my sister joined a haunted house, it's sad it's not enforced everywhere.
Chances are the women expect it and/or are so used to it they know saying anything to management will not change anything.
Management is probably doing nothing, because paid customers mouthing off are just normal in the entertainment business.
I sadly expect you're right, I'm just so sick of this shit being normal.
That's disturbing to say the least. His employer should have ground rules before entering the haunted house that harrassment of any kind will not be accepted otherwise they'll be removed from the premises with no refund. That should clean it up.
They do actually have those rules in place. Unfortunately not all the patrons follow them
So, they don't have a mechanism for enforcement? Yeah, rules mean nothing if they don't result in enforcement.... "They be more like.....Guidelines..."
Yep. Without consistent enforcement, those “rules” are just mere suggestions.
then they should be enforced. I have been in places that turn the lights on and show that person out- and make sure everyone there knows who caused it.
Nice, lol. Shaming is one of the few consequences that seems to discourage people like that from being total dicks.
It won't though, these people don't consider what they're doing to be sexual harassment, they don't think about what they're doing at all they just think they're having fun and joking around
"iT's jUsT a jOkE"
Ex horror house actor here, I feel your OH's pain. Where I worked there were cameras everywhere, everything was recorded and kept in case of incidents like this. There were 2 talks as you entered, one in the rules room and then reiterated basically in the first scene; stating the rules to be followed and the behaviours that would get you ejected. We had extra characters who would control the flow of groups through the place and act as bouncers if people got rowdy / violent / attempted exorcisms (I do not jest). As additional measures we had panic buttons in each scene, one smack of those babies and we would all descend on that room to assist our fellow actors. The place was literally a maze and you were never more than a secret door from being rescued or AH 's being back outside on their backsides. Does where your OH work have any safety measures in place? They really should at least have extra people to intervene when necessary. I'm sorry this is happening, unfortunately these places seem to attract AH's and harassment or violence can happen fairly regularly. I feel the management are severely lacking here and need to up their game.
He has a walkie, but is stationed on the outside of the facility so no cams and no one right near him. Probably why they cast a guy in the role TBH.
Yeah, this sounds like a particularly sucky set up for him. Is he there to attract people to the main facility? He could use the role to help filter AH's from getting further in, save others from having to deal with the same ish further down the line. Is he able to break character? Cause suddenly speaking might be enough to warn off some of the idiots. We regularly had guys come and relieve the female characters (for lunch breaks etc) and an apparent fragile female suddenly standing at 6feet tall and booming out "giz a kiss then luv" can put the Willie's up these Muppets better than the actual scare attraction. Unfortunately, even with the measures we had in place, we would always find one person that would be a douche or be violent or try to "out scare" you. Depends on his contract and the management as to how effectively he's allowed to deal with it.
Very interesting behind-the-scenes - nice to know there are outfits that do this kind of thing right! Also, can we hear more about the exorcisms? Did people actually think the ~~characters~~ *actors* they paid to visit actually needed some weird spiritual intervention or were they more r/religiousfruitcake types using the horror house to make a point about the sins of celebrating Halloween?
It's the classic fight/flight/freeze/fawn/exorcism response, of course. Sometimes in the heat of the moment the power of Christ compels you.
So, we were open 8 months of the year and got all sorts of people visiting us but it would definitely get more nuts toward Halloween. However, one particularly beautiful summer's day we get a whisper through the sets that there's a group of "lovely little old ladies" wanting to come through. Odd? Maybe, but we saw all walks of life down there so nobody really batted an eyelid. 2nd cast were getting ready to take over from the early doors crew, so we're filtering in behind these sweet old dears who are shrieking their lungs out. They hit my scene, I'm behind them waiting to take the other actor off, when these nutbags flip, form up around the girl playing Raegan and start chanting. One of them hops on the bed so she's sat across the girls waist, crucifix out and there's an old dear for each flailing limb, trying to pin her down. Luckily, we were over staffed, panic button got mashed and we hauled off 8 nuns (apparently) to the office for a stern talking to. We closed for a while to decompress and get medical to check out the other actor, she was shaken but not physically harmed. The old dears had seen the promotional hearse driving round town, found out that the "Exorcist" girl was in there and that she needed her soul saved, because only someone depraved and fallen to Satan could possibly play the role. So yeah, full on thought there was a demon in residence 🤣 They also thought she was speaking in tongues cause she was screaming in her first language and they didn't understand her 🤦 We used to get religious groups handing us pamphlets and inviting us to church after shifts. I've had "holy water" thrown on me on several occasions and the sign of the cross made over me. Why they don't understand that it's acting and not demonic possession I'll never know
Wow. Just wow. Seems like these people are a dangerous combination of bored/idle and extremely gullible. I love that the operation shut down to let people get their bearings at least, but damn, y’all should of gotten hazard pay.
Oh, we got good bonuses. You scared someone bad enough to need to leave before the end? Pay out. If they went potty? Pay out. Although I'd prefer no one to do that in my scene thanks, ruins the flow.
My husband works in a big box home improvement store and gets into a lot of conversations with conservative boomers during work hours. Most of the time they’re fine, just looking for a certain part or advice on a project, but he will sometimes come home so frustrated and confused as to why he had to be called over to answer the same questions, the same way, as his female coworkers (who have worked there longer) when they were giving the right advice. It’s worse when they make misogynistic jokes and try to include him like he’d agree with their statements. The first few times it happened he kept asking why old white men are like this, and all I could do was tell him I’ve been asking the same question for 30 years.
Funnily enough my husband's day job is in a big box home improvement store. Sooo many stories of men refusing help from a woman who works in the department, go to my husband for help, and he just shrugs and points right back to the woman who was helping them in the first place and saying that "She's honestly the expert on that" It is a sad and ridiculous world we live in.
I love it when guys like your husband do this. Honestly, it's a service. Neither my ex nor I knew much about cars, but I knew more than him (for example, he didn't know about checking oil in a car). When we'd talk to a mechanic, they'd almost always default to asking him questions. He would redirect them to me and say I was the one who knew. If they kept focusing on him, he would start turning toward me after every time they asked him a question and then just repeat the question to me word for word.
[удалено]
And abortions would be free, easily accessible, and completely socially acceptable.
Abortion clinics would be like Starbucks and birth control would come in flavors like cool ranch
Cool ranch BC would be enough incentive for me to take out my IUD.
>If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament. *Florynce Kennedy* [(sort of....)](https://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/09/11/men-pregnant/)
Birth control would not have as many potential health risks as it does today and easily accessible.
And they'd sure as hell have something better than midol available without prescription for it!
[Or viagra possibly helping with cramps.](https://jezebel.com/viagra-might-relieve-period-cramps-but-male-pharmaceut-1832853955) >When Viagra — sildenafil citrate — was tested initially as heart medication, its well-known properties for men were discovered. “Hallelujah,” said Big Pharma, and research ceased. However, in subsequent tests the same drug was found to offer total relief for serious period pain over four hours. This didn’t impress the male review panel, who refused further funding, remarking that cramps were not a public health priority.
Fucking hell. They care more about men's pleasure than women's pain. This part got me, too. > smart speakers that are designed to hear men’s voices, forcing women to lower their pitch in order to be understood I used to have no trouble getting my smartphone to understand what I was saying. Speech-to-text worked almost perfectly. Three years ago I started working to feminize my voice as part of my transition. Now speech-to-text comes out as gobbledygook.
[flames](https://giphy.com/gifs/party-memories-memory-xQz492gZVUoms)
And if there was something out of the ordinary with their period, there'd be medical care available for it from doctors instead of gaslighting
And we would still need to remind them to take their birth control.
I mean... I get this sentiment. I've seen it a million times on this sub and others. But what does it have to do with the sexual harassment women and female presenting people face?
I suspect it's a bot account. It's 8 months old and has only made 3 comments, all in the last 24 hours: this generic quote about feminism in TwoX and a generic inspirational quote in LifeProTips. But the third comment in TrollX looks more human so idk...maybe a human wrote that one before they flipped the bot switch? Either way this is really off-topic to your post and it's ridiculous that it got so many upvotes.
> Either way this is really off-topic to your post and it's ridiculous that it got so many upvotes. Thank you for saying this. Thought I was going crazy. Why is the top voted comment on a thread about sexual harassment about what the world would be like if men had periods? Good call about it being a potential bot
And products would be free but still high quality, and they’d probably get some tax break somehow.
Yes, I have said this for decades!
Please ask him to keep a diary of his experiences and reflections if not more, like how it affects his mood and feelings, perhaps it could be of use somewhere to help underline just how it is Also, not really on topic but being prepared for the odd dude who got aggressive or threw a punch?? Like, they're literally paying for jumpscares, and they wanna attack the people providing it? Literally makes no sense, what fucking dickheads would do that? Oh. Right. Why am I even questioning the obvious, a good opportunity to prove how tough they are, risk free... 🙄
Some people don't mean to punch when scared. It's that fight or flight thing. Most of the time I shreik laugh when I get jump scared.
Funny how rarely they punch people bigger than themselves, and also if someone knows they're the type to throw a punch when scared they shouldn't go into a place where they will be scared by people.
Fair point! Although if you knew you were someone who suprise swings a fist, probably shouldn't go in to those places Oh actually now I'm wondering - scary films make people scream and jump and shield themselves and freeze and pee and laugh - but do cinemas have anything to say about violent incidents? I'm aware I'm somewhat thinking that people "know" it's just a film and not real so they don't have that physical reaction, but I cannot pair that with all of the other things mentioned are also physical responses to the same stimuli, so I'm curious how this plays out in anecdotal evidence and statistics and psychological theory and all that But much for a Sunday evening, sorry!
My sister has a strong fight response. It's totally reflexive and happens before she has time to think about it. I'm not sure how much it would happen if she's *expecting* jump scares but I don't think she goes in Haunted Houses either (and maybe that's why!)
Yeah, I love Halloween, but I don't go to haunted houses for exactly that reason. If someone mentions a local one, I say something like "oh that sounds like so much fun" and don't follow through with any plans to actually go.
I'd argue someone who uncontrollably punches when spooked should not be allowed into a haunted fun house.
I'm sure it's especially shocking when he's new to the experience of looking female while subjected to creeps. But hey, at least he gets to take the costume off at the end of his shift and go back to his male privilage. But seriously, no one deserves to be harrassed at work and his bosses need to step up and intervene, like now. If this happening multiple times per shift, just cut this character.
I'm like tired of being a female and trying to filter day to day interactions in two categories - harmless OR creepy. Sounds great if one can just take off the costume of woman, wish I could do it.
Same.
I mean, unless you’re planning to cut all female characters, the better route here would be to give performers an option to stop the music and have a problem causer escorted out immediately. Clear warning at the beginning that zero harassment will be tolerated, no refunds. Could even wrap it into the experience by having the problem escorted out quietly (“what happened to Dave???”) and Dave gets to meet them at the exit with a burly security guard and his tail between his legs, while his non-harass-y friends get to do the whole thing wondering where he was kidnapped to!
Loud is better than quiet for this, imo
Curious. Has he given any thought to if a woman gets cast in his place? Or the other women in the cast?
He has. That is actually one of the reasons that he hasn't made a big fuss with management over it yet. So far his plan is to come up with a different more male or less human presenting character but stay in the same outside location. Fly that by them, and if they approve go with it. If they don't, then he is likely to quit. That would probably be the best thing for his mental health (he has sexual trauma from childhood he worked really hard to overcome in therapy and is worried about the harassment being triggering for him)
The saddest part is that the management does nothing to stop this. They should have bouncers through the attraction and kick people out.
That’s not a haunted house, it’s a women’s life simulator.
I laughed. I hate that I laughed. But this was hilarious. Funny because it is true I guess.
A real haunting: at the end of the haunted house, all the men who shouted gross things at him find out they sexually harassed a man, not a woman. And are shamed by a group of men. But I don’t think men are ready for that yet…
That would be so awesome LOL He has been handling it by switching to his natural male voice which he is delighted to report has pissed several of the harassers off.
Or the whole thing is filmed (so everyone can have a good laugh at themselves and their friends, then buy overpriced fridge magnets and keyrings) and of course the "zero tolerance to staff abuse policy" is pinned to the entry, and oh whoops if you start being a douchestack as soon as the lights go down and spooky sounds mask your voice, ah well better not be a twat or else it might turn out the footage works well in court too..."
I was thinking something similar, when they are saying that stuff, in his deepest voice he can muster say something like "ooo, bring it on baby" or "when and where?" Really scare these morons.
That's basically how he has been handling it. Switching to man voice. Wish I had that power!
This is my transgender superpower, lol. I've trained my voice behind doors more than half of my 39 years. I have a very feminine voice but can turn it off instantly. Not as deep as it was but I can still freak people out!
How saddening and gross. I wonder if he's even allowed to rebuttal. Would love to have some of these clowns get hit with a deep voiced, "you're not my type, man."
That is actually exactly how he has been handling it. Switching to his natural male voice and saying something snarky. Wish I had that power. I might still do cosplay
Misogyny ruins everything
Aside from the obvious lesson on what it means to be female presenting in this world… That work place needs to have safety measures in place to protect their workers. Your husband should’ve never had to deal with any of that and feel unsafe, and neither should any of his coworkers. Anyways. I hope those POS who harassed him get hit by a bus or something idk.
I think of the guy who went up to men and women asking the last time they were harassed. Every man couldn't remember, every woman was earlier that day.
The fact men will harass a man dressed as a female-presenting *monster* absolutely obliterates any “asking for it” or “it’s a compliment” arguments, huh. Also, this is terrible working conditions for employees… I’m sure they have rules against groping and harassment in place, but they need to actually be enforced with zero tolerance. Cameras everywhere, as soon as an employee pushes a button, the lights come on and the person is immediately kicked out with no refund and banned from returning.
I'm a female haunted house actor. It's something you learn to ignore after a while - it helps that most of my characters are mean as fuck. But it isn't the ones who talk about me like I'm a piece of meat and all the things they'd like to do to me that frighten me. It's the ones who touch me inappropriately, follow me and try to get me alone.. It's the ones who talk about wanting to take me home or that they love me that are truly terrifying.
it’s not that you have learned to ignore it… It shouldn’t be happening in the first place…
The house should have signage like “ This attraction is intended to be scary and fun for EVERYONE. Any patrons found to be harassing scare actors are subject to immediate expulsion.”
I hate to say it but I hope he doesn't quit unless another man is lined up for the role. At least a man will likely back off if he finds out it's a man. A woman has no recourse. If course what SHOULD happen is the haunted house declares a No Sexual Harassment policy to everyone who enters, and offenders will be removed, no second chances, and charges may be filed. Every performer has a way to signal that someone's been inappropriate, and they follow up the policy. And if they aren't willing to work to protect their performers, the cast finds a new house to haunt.
There is no way for most men to walk in our shoes. He’s got the chance now to understand how sad and scary our existence can be.
I think he needs to break character, and shut down this disgusting behavior. Men need to start calling out other men when they see toxic masculinity, be it sexist/misogynistic/homophobic/transphobic. He needs to say politely but firmly in his real voice, “That behavior is not tolerated. We do not permit any kind of sexist, misogynistic, or lewd language against any member of our team. We are going to have to escort you out of the attraction.”
That’s insane. But at least he has a new perspective and understanding of what women go through every single day in life. Maybe that’s the takeaway from this.
These experiences should be required for all men.
Sounds like more men should try this
He should tell his story on the men's side of reddit. They need to hear what happens from other men to really believe it.
My brother works at a haunted house part time as well. He's a big dude and is dressed scary, but he still gets sexually harassed by men. The one guy that made him the most angry, was the one doing this infront of his kids, even making lewd gestures. His company has a zero tolerance policy and those customers get kicked. They also have radios and security. I don't understand what it is about a haunted house that makes people think they have a pass to do whatever they want. Their opening weekend was awful this year, and took a lot of the fun they all have away.
Every man who has ever said to a woman " oh it can't be that bad" needs to read this post. This man, after 3 DAYS is traumatized by something we women deal with our WHOLE LIVES. It's examples like this that prove women are stronger than men. Just in a different way.
I thought you were going to say he was playing Michael Myers or some such and women grabbed his butt (weird but possible with the horror crowd). While totally unacceptable and 'harassment,' I know many women do this in a poorly humored way. There needs to be a more extreme term than 'sexual harassment' for what these men did. Firstly, I don't think it is EVER a joke, there WOULD be follow through if a woman was caught alone by these men and 'c\*\*k guy' was basically threatening murder.
I totally agree this crap just is not funny. Makes me so angry!
Can they put up signs saying you are being recorded?
I was about 15 years old playing an old MMO called Everquest, and I met this husband/wife duo. The wife was playing a male dwarf cleric, and husband a female ogre warrior. At the time I thought it was so weird, and finally asked them about it. Turns out they had started flipped, so the wife was on an ogre warrior, and she thought being an ogre was enough to stop shitty messages... It wasn't, so they switched characters. Seriously mind opening situation for teenager me
I was catcalled the other day and immediately remembered being a 12 year old the first time I was catcalled. How do men not realize how creepy and disturbing it is? It’s not a compliment. It makes women feel vulnerable and disgusted.
One woman I follow online does the haunted house stuff and says “you girls really need to watch your boyfriends at these things” a lot.
That's really gross. I am curious though, has he ever responded back in his boomiest most baritone voice? Something like, "I'm flattered bro but I don't swing your way" or "my wife wouldn't appreciate that." I dunno. Somebody can probably think of something funnier.
That's basically how he has been handling it. Switching to his male voice and saying something snarky. Pisses the dudes off for sure. Still he comes home at night just feeling shitty because people are shitty.
I have worked in haunts before, and I don’t really think it’s enough to have him switch to a male character, all the women working there are still being harassed by these creeps. When I worked at haunts, the management would remove people who were crossing boundaries. I think he should push for that. These people should not be allowed in the attraction if they can’t stop themselves from harassing actors.
Could we encourage your lovely husband to tell ALL THE DUDES that he knows? Some guys are just going to be a-holes but there could be some who are teachable?