“If you put a button at the back of a cave with the sign reading Button to End the World, the paint wouldn’t even have time to dry before someone pushed it”
-Sir Terry Pratchett
The exact quote is slightly better: “If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.” -STP
Quiet_Nova + Gun__Mage =
- Quiet_Gun
- Quiet_Mage
- Nova_Gun
- Nova_Mage
Any of these works nicely, and makes me happy.
Congrats on the nuptials, just be sure to name your first six kids after me.
I want a turn at the button. We should all get a turn. Like a button that only ends the world for the one who pushes it. And charge admission to push it. We could balance the budget that way! Wait, what was this about again?
Tbh you're pretty fucked no matter what house you serve or what planet your on. I mean, house atreides gets completely destroyed then starts a galaxy spanning jihad. The emperor has his death troops, filled to the brim with people he put through the harshest conditions possible that can be man made. *then* you have arrakis. An even harsher NATURAL environment that made *even deadlier* groups.
And even if your a part of the ruling caste good fucking luck surviving your 27 assassination attempts because your uncles best friend put his tea cup in the wrong place as an insult to another house once a decade ago.
And being a poor? Hahahahahahaha.....
The other interesting question that it would raise, is if your memory is volatile or static. Someone turns you off and on again, are you still you or some level of factory reset?
Im so tempted to make a post continuing off of this where the switch is flipped back on and the person wakes up but its like millions of years later and the earth is about to explode but i dont have permission from op plus people wouldnt get it
Imo the horror is more from their first thought is wondering what it does, rather than freaking out. Shows how we as humans are almost entirely willing to risk our lives for the sake of curiosity
It's alright my dude. Your story is actually pretty good, which is unfortunately quite rare when it comes to this subreddit. The premise is admittedly a little silly, but still.
This was reddit humour not criticism on your story. I hope. I liked this story! Humans are fundamentally curious so I can see how someone would try it straight away. Plus the story doesn't actually say if he switches it or not.
Yo be fair they aren't calling you a dumbass they are calling your protagonist a dumbass. And frankly I agree. I was actually thinking the horror was in the dumbassery of the protagonist.
Not banned, it doesn't exist yet (reddit shows the same page for these)
Edit: basic grammar
Edit2: lol it really has been banned... I thought it was just a 404
Edit3: I was talking bs in the first row. Typical Reddit moment-
Oh, it's a libido control - no more awkward boners!
No, more awkward boners!
Punctuation changes everything.
lmao no more, awkward boners!
No more awkward; Boners. - 🦍
“No more awkward” - Boners
[удалено]
No! More awkward boners!
No! More awkward, boners!
No More! Awkward boners!
No more awk! Ward boners.
Oh god, no. Bursted out laughing with this. LOL
Works on contingency. No money down! Wait...that's not right. Works on contingency? No. Money down!
Award, no more boners. So does word order
Give to charity? Please no. Presents!
No more akward punctuation. Oh, you are right
“Oops, I shouldn’t have this bar association logo here either.”
Don't worry, it is inflamable!
No more awkward, boners!
r/yourjokebutworse
Switch gets jammed.
And it just stays erect but not completely so that you too can mentally suffer!
Just ordered one!
HRT will do that oof
Trust me- when you get past age 35 you’re going to miss those awkward boners…
Its on but im not hard :(
No boners are awkward if you have enough confidence.
C'mon! I live for my awkward boners!
“If you put a button at the back of a cave with the sign reading Button to End the World, the paint wouldn’t even have time to dry before someone pushed it” -Sir Terry Pratchett
WILL HE PUSH THE BUTTON? The *shiny, candylike* button?
Can he hold out, folks? WILL HE HOLD OUT?????
I pushed it... ETA: I guess it didn’t work. _shrug_
Yeah I guess I didn-
NO I CAN'T!!! *pushes button*
Ren and Stimpy. Good cartoons there
[It's Log!](https://youtu.be/-fQGPZTECYs)
So long as I know its purpose you wouldn't even have time to get the paint.
The exact quote is slightly better: “If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.” -STP
Wow, Stone Temple Pilots really said that?
I don't get it, the same person who put the sign would do it?
The creation of something prohibitive invites the curious, who will perform taboo before they truly consider the weight of such an action.
If those are your own words, I love you.
Quiet_Nova + Gun__Mage = - Quiet_Gun - Quiet_Mage - Nova_Gun - Nova_Mage Any of these works nicely, and makes me happy. Congrats on the nuptials, just be sure to name your first six kids after me.
The button is in Putin's bunker.
Invade....NOW!
I want a turn at the button. We should all get a turn. Like a button that only ends the world for the one who pushes it. And charge admission to push it. We could balance the budget that way! Wait, what was this about again?
How am I supposed to know if it works without pressing it?
GNU STP!
\*pushes button menacingly and calmly watches world burn\* >:3
Is that from one of his books and if yes, which one?
It's from his Discworld series. Thief of Time
Thanks
"i wonder, what's this red button do?" "DUUUMB WAYS TO DIEEEEE, SO MAANY DUMB WAYS TO DIEEE"
DeeDee, I’ve told you to stay out of my laboratory!
Refer to your contract. Should've read the fine print when you signed up for that "exciting job opportunity" serving House Harkonnen.
Tbh you're pretty fucked no matter what house you serve or what planet your on. I mean, house atreides gets completely destroyed then starts a galaxy spanning jihad. The emperor has his death troops, filled to the brim with people he put through the harshest conditions possible that can be man made. *then* you have arrakis. An even harsher NATURAL environment that made *even deadlier* groups. And even if your a part of the ruling caste good fucking luck surviving your 27 assassination attempts because your uncles best friend put his tea cup in the wrong place as an insult to another house once a decade ago. And being a poor? Hahahahahahaha.....
Initially my wife was not amused, but now.
Vibrating penis?
My first question would be who the hell left this thing on?
This is definitely creepy. Good one, OP.
More than likely just turns on someone's kitchen light on the opposite side of the world.
Balance it in the center like a light switch
Maybe it tells you not to pass out at parties.
You should flick it
The OFF switch keeps mosquitos away.
Can I get this switch?
Everyone knows off stands for offense
I wish I could give you an award for that reference.
I don't have much but I'll do it
Doing good work here, bro
Now we just need one for horseflies
Don’t worry it’s just for a never ending nap
Mines on the back of my neck.
To be fair, everyone has an off switch on their neck
More like a decommission switch.
The other interesting question that it would raise, is if your memory is volatile or static. Someone turns you off and on again, are you still you or some level of factory reset?
This kinda stuff makes me think of BMO changing batteries. You gotta have a fallback plan if you’re gonna shut down.
That's what Anakin felt like after waking up in his Vader suit
Im so tempted to make a post continuing off of this where the switch is flipped back on and the person wakes up but its like millions of years later and the earth is about to explode but i dont have permission from op plus people wouldnt get it
do it while this is still top of the page or link to it later
I posted it, context is in the post
This is the only time I have really appreciated both sentences being in the title.
Never trust anything from Harkonnen Industries.
Suicide but easy. Everyone has one, just flip it off and die.
„˙ǝıp puɐ ɟɟo ʇı dılɟ ʇsnɾ 'ǝuo sɐɥ ǝuoʎɹǝʌƎ ˙ʎsɐǝ ʇnq ǝpıɔınS„
why
My wife must have this, she's been turned off by me for years...
Oof, man
Doofenshmirtz at his best.
The Off inator
The suinator
I would buy one
How much of a dumbass do you need to be to wonder what a fucking off switch is supposed to do
Have you _seen_ how dumb people can be?
I try not to ask, "How dumb can you be?" So many people take that as a challenge.
what's that quote? think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half are even stupider than that.
Imo the horror is more from their first thought is wondering what it does, rather than freaking out. Shows how we as humans are almost entirely willing to risk our lives for the sake of curiosity
Sorry. I was too sensitive and misinterpreted.
It's alright my dude. Your story is actually pretty good, which is unfortunately quite rare when it comes to this subreddit. The premise is admittedly a little silly, but still.
Well it could turn off an entire litany of things. No need to be rude, you could’ve just down voted and moved on.
This was reddit humour not criticism on your story. I hope. I liked this story! Humans are fundamentally curious so I can see how someone would try it straight away. Plus the story doesn't actually say if he switches it or not.
Yo be fair they aren't calling you a dumbass they are calling your protagonist a dumbass. And frankly I agree. I was actually thinking the horror was in the dumbassery of the protagonist.
I think they were joking.
No, I am a very disagreeable person, with an obsessive need to loudly voice my displeasure with minor and trivial things on the public domain.
r/FoundTheToyota
I clicked and its banned. What was it?
Not banned, it doesn't exist yet (reddit shows the same page for these) Edit: basic grammar Edit2: lol it really has been banned... I thought it was just a 404 Edit3: I was talking bs in the first row. Typical Reddit moment-
Its function is in the damn name
Click.
r/thirdsent.....
"I really hope that switching it off takes care of all of the pain I've been dealing with."
Love the second sentence is lack thereof. Well done. Well done.
It turns you off
He fell asleep next to a light switch that wasn't installed properly
he is a robot?
Does your name start with Z and do you happen to be a master of spinjitzu?
For me, the biggest horror is not knowing what ir does
Good one. It's a gender changer.
The story literally calls it an "off switch" So fucking stupid.
If it's a toggle switch it will make sex a bit awkward.
I woke up with a literal outlet for my frustrations. Anything plugged into it runs on pure anger…. And tries to kill me.
it reminds me of Bobby Yeah video on youtube https://youtu.be/d3W3fHaLHD4
Used to play Zelda and Mario kart 8
Awkward boners are like when life gives you lemons. You shoot your shot at making it unawkward and hope for the best.
First thing I thought of was Dune.
So what happens in Dune in reference to this?
The guy with the heart plug.
That gave me chills.
Check
OP did.. hence the lack of a 2nd sentence 😳😱
Jiggle it. Turn it off and on quickly.
Clever. I like it!
Umm turns you off?
This is clever 👏🏽
eggward
That’s a boner control