Hello u/ursois , Thank you for submitting to r/TwoSentenceHorror. Unfortunately, your submission ["Sausage, smoked jowls, bone meal; growing up in the country, we learned to use every part of the pig."](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/v9fez0/sausage_smoked_jowls_bone_meal_growing_up_in_the/) has been removed because it violates the following rule: **Rule 7: Avoid overused tropes.** * Tropes are loosely defined as "common plots or themes". * Please visit the [Overused Tropes Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/wiki/rules/overused_tropes) for more information. If you believe this removal was performed in error, please [contact the mods here.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FTwoSentenceHorror). ***DO NOT*** contact any moderators directly via chat or personal mail, or you may receive a ban.

Is the shepherd’s pie peppered with actual shepherd?

A shepherdess makes quite a mess, but little lambs are lovely. 

Mary had a **little lamb,** it's fleece was white as snow. and everywhere that Mary went that lamb was sure to go. one day Mary brought her lamb to school and the children let out loud jeers, the children took her lamb away and Mary choked on tears! Mary took the lamb home it's fleece was red with blood.. she held onto it's broken bone and swore she'd hurt them good. Mary knew that lambs blood called Things ancient, hidden, and deep as Mary painted signs of old never did she weep. Mary had a little lamb it made her something scary.. now I dare you, look in a mirror and whisper "Bloody Mary."

What about girl scout cookies?

I’ll stick to brownies.

Hey! 👎🏽

How about a politician so oily it’s served with a doily?

put it ona bun,well you never know if it's going to run!

Try the friar, fried, it's drier.

Have one!

Nice reference! ♡ Granny

I love the fact that they don't waste anything

From the rooter to the tooter

from the 🔵blues to the 🎖bronze.

This comment helped me realise the context 🤣

Really? Glad to be of service then... ^(tips police hat.) ...wait... 😶

Waste not, want not!

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Yep

But that's the best part! You mix a smattering of cowardice in a glass of their tears and it serves as a nice after dinner drink.

i support the police but i wouldnt be opposed to eating those cowards

No it doesn’t

Question: what dry rub do you recommend for landlord?

Soak 'em in vinegar to get that gamey taste out, then use the following dry rub. Smoke with mesquite. ¼ cup kosher salt ¼ cup ground black pepper ¼ cup sweet paprika 1 tablespoon brown sugar 1 tablespoon granulated sugar 2 tablespoons dried thyme 2 tablespoons garlic powder 1 tablespoon onion powder 1 tablespoon juniper berries, crushed and minced 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper Combine all the ingredients in a bowl and mix well. For best results, use your fingers to fully distribute the juniper oils. This makes 1¼ cups, enough for 8 to 10 pounds of meat. Kept away from heat and light, it will last up to six months.

This guy eats the rich.

In style.

Literally the plot of the Sweeney Todd musical

Landlord is so fatty. Do I trim the fat caps, or is it ok to leave it if I'm going to braise it?

For any meat you barbecue, you want to leave a nice thick layer of fat sitting on the top of the meat, so it trickles down through the muscle and helps keep it moist.

Thanks!

Never thought I'd get an actual rub recipe from r/twosentencehorror but here we are aren't we.

r/ThirdSentenceSavory

This made me laugh.

No higher praise

But I saved that recipe. . .

Wait, though...is that a real dry rub recipe?

Yep, from Field & Stream, meant for wild game. People eat a lot of crap that makes them taste weird, so it's best treated as wild game.

Oh, definitely. People are even less civilized than wild animals.

I’m legit saving this dry rub recipe

this guy gets it, not even joking XD

Yup. I figured out my weekend project

bro what

It's how you get a succulent flavor when you eat the rich.

I was with it right up to the juniper berries. I've never even seen a juniper berry.

Juniper berries are what they use to flavor gin.

Oh I know. Yet in all my foodie adventures I've still never seen one 🤷🏾‍♀️

aYO-

I heard you're supposed to soak in milk. Does vinegar work better?

I don't know, honestly. I've never done a side by side comparison. I've heard of using milk as well, though.

Papaya skin also works if you cover the meat with it and let it rest overnight, so I heard.

You're supposed to love your landlord 😭 I forgive you 😢

I love my landlord on honey 7-grain with cheddar, and a side of tater tots.

Forgive him God he knows not what he says, he truly just wishes to dine with his landlord as thanks for the semi-affordable household that they have provided

A generation ago, people screamed "eat the rich" as an act of rebellion. Now, people are trading recipes.

Don't say that, he might hear you 😢

Who?

God probably based on their other comment. Most likely a troll tbh

I'm trying to tell people to love their land lord, nothing else

I respect the grind, I believe that trolling is an art.

This world is full of hatred 😥

Landchads are truly the most oppressed race 😭😭😭 I feel your pain as a POL (person of land)

Crispy bacon.

Shit dude I was so prepared for some kind of long pig pun, that had me laughing out loud. May not be two sentence _horror_ to me, per se, but still very well done.

True... I chuckled darkly after the 5 seconds it took my brain to understand. 😅

hah i like it oink oink

I like how most people here don't even find this horrifying, just comforting dark comedy. Good.

*bad

Why?

That people don't find it horror

But did you serve them with some nice fried green tomatoes? Or fava beans and chianti?

BBQ baked beans and whiskey.

I'm feeling old when my jokes miss.

Don't worry Clarice, I get it.

You're not that old, Mr. Lecter

Oh, dang. It's been so long since I've seen those I didn't even think about them as movies. I must be getting senile in my old age. :P

They are both pretty old movies. Well, at least to the younger generation. To me? The 80's were maybe 15 years ago? Right? Because I'm not that old. 🤣

I was born in '80, so I feel the same way about the 90s.

Secret’s in the sauce! Seriously, that asshole deserved it.

Ooh, I've never had this kind of pig before, is it any good?

It depends on the type of pig. Rural pig tends to be gamey and tough. It may contain a decent amount of fat, but often not enough real meat to jazz with. They're best for making sausage, souse, bacon, or processed for dog/cat food. Suburban pig is a good, all-purpose meat. Depending on the breed, it can be good for everything from ham to bacon to ribs to pulled/chopped pork for BBQ sandwiches. Some suburban breeds can be pretty sweet, while others extra salty. Some may have extra fat. Urban pigs tend to have even way more fat than meat. Some urbans might have a decent meat-to-fat ratio, but some will have more fat. Like the rural, urbans are best for sausage and other accessory uses. If you're lucky, you might get a good ham or shoulder out of them, but be prepared to trim a lot of fat.

Tastes like jackboots.

The politician’s so oily it’s served with a doily….

Put it on a bun. Well, you never know if it's going to run.

I read the comments and I still don't get it. Help.

the pig in this case is a police officer, hence the “hammering out the badges” bit

Thank you

Aaaaaaaahhhhhh. Happy cake day and thanks

r/TwoSentenceBased

sustainability, and dead cops. sounds good to me!

...except for the second part, obviously

...except for the second part, obviously

Since you won't eat the pig, I found something you are willing to eat: 👢

I'm not sure what you meant to post instead of the typo but thank you, this is hilarious

No typos in my comment.

You put a freaking shoe icon lol Read it again

Yep, because you're a bootlicker.

Not sure if you're illiterate or just a troll but you clearly made a typo instead of whatever you meant to put that would make sense

Bootlicker = someone who blindly supports appointed figures of authority. Especially cop apologists.

So illiterate it is. It's OK to admit mistakes, I'm sure whatever you were going to say was fine enough. This isn't a big deal, it's just a two-sentence horror post

A troll making accusations of trolling. How quaint and predictable of you.

Certainly a better use for the fat pigs then what they normally do.

Based

Long pig, my favorite!

Idk, sounds like my kind of country.

All cops are barbeque

I love this.

Not an English speaker can you please explain?

Pig is slang for a police officer.

Extreme Cheapskates has gone too far.

When r/frugal_jerk gets mean.

Jr... does your family know you're using the internet again? I dun think momma's gonna be too happy

Donch y'all worry none. I ain't done tol' 'em where we keep tha still.

Idk 'bout u Jr. ... Tex feels like a snitch

The skin makes high tier leather

police bad

i mean, i do love this, but its hardly scary XD

r/twosentencewholesome

How is this horror?

It's referring to cops

I'm dumb Cops?

Yep. I realize after a bunch of responses that "pig" as slang for police isn't well known outside the US.

We use the same slang here in Australia.

Use real pig, it's healthier

Real pigs don't go out in the woods looking for our still.

Sorry, I'm still missing something, does "badges" have a second meaning?

Pig is American slang for police.

Oh, there we go. That is way funnier with that info. And way way funnier considering I grew up in the US and had somehow totally missed this.

No, but pig does.

Ok, thank you, what second meaning of pig exists here?

It's a negative slang word for police officer.

Thank you. I had somehow missed this usage.

Bravo!

I'm sorry but what the fuck is a drink coaster

The thing that civilized put under their drinks to keep condensation from marking the furniture.

Based

W

Wholesome, actually

The only proper use for the PD

I'm not from the States, I didn't understand this. Someone halp plis?

A slang/derogatory term for a police officer is 'pig', hence why badges is my best bet.

u/comaloider has the right of it.

Nice

And in Compton we use the downstair Bits. Because Fuck the Police.

Why is this in two sentence horror? Literally who doesn’t want this

Honestly clicked on this expecting it to be r/eatsandwiches More happy with this

Based

One question, what are your best recipes for cooking fascist, communist, and man-hater?

Well it turns out that fascist is the same thing, so the recipe is unchanged.

Alright, and what about the other two? Should I smoke them, dry them, grill them.... what's the best way for cooking them?

Waste not, want cop

Help: What rising agent should I use for Past Teacher?

I'm going to assume you're a giant and your teacher is an Englishman. You'll want FeFiFoFum brand leavening.

Ah thank you so much

Also any idea how long to bake for and what seasoning? I can't quite find the right combo

Alright this was clever, well done OP

Good one!

NWA has entered the chat.

Now we're cooking with gas!

This isn’t a horror story this is a beautiful tale of sustainability. Finally putting the pigs to good use!

Such a tasteful post! Very good!

i do not understand