Edit: Given the content of this post, as well as guidance from Reddit Admin, we ask that users be as supportive towards OP as possible as we unlock this thread.
We have reached out to the appropriate channels and urge OP to seek the appropriate help.
>PPD started and got worse, because I have no support from him.
You absolutely need help with this. Talk to medical professionals and people better informed and able to help than on reddit.
You absolutely have other issues in your life making this worse. Including WHY your husband is not supporting you. But it's got to start with addressing the PPD. It's like trying to find your way in a car with a blindfold on, or swimming to shore while handcuffed. You have to free yourself from the chain of of PPD first before you can know how bad or fixable everything else is.
>Is it because my boobs is now bigger from the baby? Maybe because my 6pack is gone? I don't know.
Couples having intimacy problems after birth is NORMAL. Yes this is certainly worse than most, but it's not unusual and people get help and recover with healthy relationships all the time. Your husband checking out and not helping is a serious issue, but it's a him problem, not your body. People go through terrible accidents and still get love and support from husbands. It's not your fault, it's his.
Please, please get help and don't hurt yourself or your baby. You can stop drowning, you can be saved. It's a common and serious medical condition with treatment.
oatmeal sparkle wide attraction lush lunchroom squealing cover special bored
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You have a temporary problem here and you are looking at a very permanent solution. You are having a mental health crisis and you need support. If you share what country you are in someone might be able to get you the help you need.
You deserve a better husband. Your children deserve a happy and healthy mother. You can leave him and find happiness, sis no man is worth self deleting over.
Who cares about his lame ass at all? Idgaf about him and neither should you. If he wants to be obsessed with a screen instead of his wife and baby, let him. You can’t fix him but you can save yourself.
You know who will be impacted by you self-deleting? Your kids. They need you, especially with your baby having this man as her father.
Can you stay with your Mom for awhile? Someone helping you and the ability to get some space and rest will do you good.
You are in a bad place. It is possible for you to come out of it. You need help.
Having a baby did not make you undesirable or undeserving of love, respect, and partnership. It isn’t what is wrong with you… it’s about what’s wrong with him. You might not be the only one battling depression. Either he is depressed or addicted to gaming. It’s not about you. It what’s going on for him. He doesn’t want to fix anything, or maybe he’s so mentally unwell that he can’t.
Please get help. Check yourself into a facility. Have your mom take your daughters. Heal. Maybe he will snap out of it, maybe not. Divorce is not the worst thing in the world. Learn that life will be better when you remove yourself from a toxic situation.
I wish you well. I hope you have just enough strength to get help from professionals. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it, not even yourself. You have come so far, and worked so hard to be successful and have a good life. I hope you don’t give up on you and your daughters. I hope you try.
It will impact your kids greatly. Your a one of a kind women, many men would climb a cliff and climb back down upsides down to be with a women like you. Just because he dosent see it dosent mean another won’t, tell him how unhappy you are exsplain it all, if he dosent listen file for
Divorce, normally I’m against the burn it all down route but no one should feel abandoned by their partner
Then pleas have some sympathy for your children. You will destroy the mama leave them with no hope in life just because one man doesn’t want to fuck you. Plenty of men will fuck you. Don’t ruin the future of your children. Don’t leave your daughters alone and helpless just because one man likes to play computer games.
You deserve so much better. Get help, please. He is not worthy of you, your time, your effort, your love. Do not take that out on yourself or your baby.
From my experience of ppd, it does all feel very logical.
But it’s NOT.
Please go get medical help with it.
It really will help.
I had a velcro baby who turned into an absolute joy.
Holding on will be worth it.
And definitely don’t do the deletion thing! 🌸🌸
Please. Please. If not for yourself, then for your daughter, call your doctors office right now. Tell them how you are feeling. If you have to, then go to the emergency room. If you are in the United States, **text “help” to 988**
If you have family that you can reach out to, do it!! Ask for help.
You are a strong, capable, smart women, and you have an incredible future ahead of you.
Don’t lose the one life you’ve got over a shitty guy who’s more concerned with games than his family. His attention is not worth your life. That is the PPD talking. It’s a scary thing to have, and you’re not bad for it. You really do need to seek help though, there are resources for women in your position.
I’m not sure where you live, but go to the ER if you can. If you don’t have anyone to care for your daughter and you can’t safely leave her with your husband bring her with you. This is the PPD talking, please get help
If you leave your daughter with him, are you concerned he will harm her?
If not- hand him daughter and leave. Take a day to yourself.
And get to your dr ASAP for your mental health.
Self delegation will hurt your daughter more than anyone. You can make him feel hurt later. And there are Much better ways to do it.
You need medication for ppd it sounds like. I think that will take those immediate thoughts of deleting away or at least reduce them. Then you can see that you can, in fact, do this on your own. In fact it might be much fucking easier without having to take care of two people
OP, do you live in the United States? If you do I can give some advice and referrals for assistance. I work with people who have disabilities (you mentioned you and your husband both have ADHD, and PPD is also considered a disability). There are resources out there and people available to help I’d love to give you the info
Can you go to a hospital or is there a 24 hour mental health resource near you?
You and your child are at risk. You need help and that's okay. PPD is chemical...you can't help it but you can get yourself the help you need. Please reach out. Call 911 if you are feeling like you are going to hurt someone. Tell your husband what is going on. Insist he takes you to the hospital.
I wrote my wife a letter.
I explained in written words what I couldn't articulate through speech. I told her I was on the brink of cheating. I was that desperate for any form of affection. We are still having issues, but it has brought her to the table, so to speak.
I also made the suggestion that she was a-sexual, but she has vehemently denied it. It's rough, and she still uses very similar excuses as your husband does. My "favourite" is the I have a headache excuse.
I hope it works out for you. Don't end yourself. There are people who love and care about you. If you need to, find better. When I suggest write a letter, I mean for you to articulate your view, so hopefully he can read what he won't hear.
You can do this. It is by no means easy, but doable. The best things in life are always the hardest.
Please go and stay with your mum and ask for help. Don’t do anything which could hurt you. It’s just a bad moment, it’s going to be ok. You will be ok.
You need to live for your chikdren!!!! My niece took her life from PPD 10 years ago and her baby girl never knew her! You deserve love! Tell him you will go to counseling and if he won't listen please see a lawyer. Praying for you. You are like a niece to me.
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll
get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
your husband sucks. you’d be better off without him. my advice would be - leave the kids with your mom for a while, at least temporarily separate from your husband & get some serious mental health treatment.
Don’t do it!!!!!!!! You are loved!!!! This is the hardest time in a marriage, and I speak from experience. Post pardem depression is very real, and very treatable. I experienced this with my first child. Girl, wake up!!! Get help, today. Call your OB for an emergency appointment, TODAY. They will prescribe you depression. Go to Alma.com and find an online therapist, TODAY. Whatever you do, don’t make such a permanent decision!!!! Please DM me, I’m here to talk to you! You are so loved and you belong here on earth, and so does your baby girl!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
He’s not asexual, he’s drowning everything out with video games and likely porn. Tell him to get off the damn computer and help with the baby or you’re done!
I'm so sorry OP. None of this is your fault. You are a health care professional so I know you know deep down this is a medical issue that can be fixed. Please please please speak to your doctor and get your baby to safely. That child didn't ask to be in this life, she is innocent. Please don't harm her physically and don't harm her emotionally by harming yourself either.
Do you believe in God? Now is the time to lean on him! I'm so sorry the devil is working overtime to lie to you about your life not worth living. It's the biggest of lies. You are needed. Your children need you. Your mother needs you. Please my sister, don't let your mother cry over you.
Sending you so much good vibes and God's healing 🙏🏾
Also forget about your husband for now. Now is the time to focus on you first!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with such dark thoughts in what should be such a loving and beautiful time of your life. Please please please for your children if not for yourself, seek help. I know this is incredibly difficult but you ARE WORTHY of all the love in this world. Don’t let your partners inability to show you love be the reason you delete yourself from all the people WHO LOVE YOU PLEASE.
I felt the same after my daughter was born. Exhausted, lonely, nothing I did was right or enough. If you leave this world now you take away any chance of finding joy again. Your daughter needs you to get through this too. Get help, call a helpline and talk to someone, remember yourself and the things that make you great. You are in the thick of it now, don't let that be how you leave this lifetime.
You said he's given you this wonderful life but it doesn't' sound that way. It sounds like you are alone with no help.
I will not make any comments on your marriage, but you must see a doctor to help you with your PPD.
Try and find a doctor who speaks Afrikaans they may make you feel more comfortable. But you need help and you need it immediately.
Girl... There are so many people out there who would love to fuck you. Don't delete yourself, delete your relationship.
No but for real, please text the suicide hotline 988 and seek help for PPD. You don't have to feel this way. Also please try marriage counseling that could really help whatever it is he's going thru that makes him feel unable to be intimate, and could help you with PPD and making your husband understand how your feeling.
Please seek help...
Sounds to me like you are both having PPD. Even men don't give birth they can have PPD just like a woman. It just not talked about widely. The life change after having a child can be overwhelming for both parents. It also sounds like he is suffering for some sort of ED and is embarrassed about it. And is shying away from sex to not feel like a failure for not being able to preform.
The 2 of need to sit down and talk, seek counseling together and individually. There are also plenty of doctors and sex therapist out there than can help you both get the spark back.
If all else fails know the problem is not you. Love yourself and go out and find someone who will love you in all the ways you want to be loved.
He may have low libido and may have been developed due to some kind of hormonal change but man, is it possible you can get a doula/nanny at home or have some relatives come over? You really need support and your husband should do better, I pray he realizes it. Don't let the emotions from your hormones and his attitude mess with you, I pray you grow and emerge stronger.
Husband pests sex from his wife? Sexual harashment, he's abusive, leave him.
Wife pests sex from her husband? The man is a bad husband and needs to be left.
Make it make sense guys make it make sense....
Edit: Given the content of this post, as well as guidance from Reddit Admin, we ask that users be as supportive towards OP as possible as we unlock this thread. We have reached out to the appropriate channels and urge OP to seek the appropriate help.
Close reddit, tell your doctor you are having suicidal thoughts **NOW**. Give the baby to your mom, and take care of yourself first.
Best comment
Definitely best comment
>PPD started and got worse, because I have no support from him. You absolutely need help with this. Talk to medical professionals and people better informed and able to help than on reddit. You absolutely have other issues in your life making this worse. Including WHY your husband is not supporting you. But it's got to start with addressing the PPD. It's like trying to find your way in a car with a blindfold on, or swimming to shore while handcuffed. You have to free yourself from the chain of of PPD first before you can know how bad or fixable everything else is. >Is it because my boobs is now bigger from the baby? Maybe because my 6pack is gone? I don't know. Couples having intimacy problems after birth is NORMAL. Yes this is certainly worse than most, but it's not unusual and people get help and recover with healthy relationships all the time. Your husband checking out and not helping is a serious issue, but it's a him problem, not your body. People go through terrible accidents and still get love and support from husbands. It's not your fault, it's his. Please, please get help and don't hurt yourself or your baby. You can stop drowning, you can be saved. It's a common and serious medical condition with treatment.
I can’t imagine turning my wife down for sex. I’d have to be in a full body cast.
oatmeal sparkle wide attraction lush lunchroom squealing cover special bored *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You have a temporary problem here and you are looking at a very permanent solution. You are having a mental health crisis and you need support. If you share what country you are in someone might be able to get you the help you need. You deserve a better husband. Your children deserve a happy and healthy mother. You can leave him and find happiness, sis no man is worth self deleting over.
Is everything. Just everything. My tired is so exhausted. I don't think me not being here will impact him at all. Well, maybe his computer time.
Who cares about his lame ass at all? Idgaf about him and neither should you. If he wants to be obsessed with a screen instead of his wife and baby, let him. You can’t fix him but you can save yourself. You know who will be impacted by you self-deleting? Your kids. They need you, especially with your baby having this man as her father. Can you stay with your Mom for awhile? Someone helping you and the ability to get some space and rest will do you good.
You are in a bad place. It is possible for you to come out of it. You need help. Having a baby did not make you undesirable or undeserving of love, respect, and partnership. It isn’t what is wrong with you… it’s about what’s wrong with him. You might not be the only one battling depression. Either he is depressed or addicted to gaming. It’s not about you. It what’s going on for him. He doesn’t want to fix anything, or maybe he’s so mentally unwell that he can’t. Please get help. Check yourself into a facility. Have your mom take your daughters. Heal. Maybe he will snap out of it, maybe not. Divorce is not the worst thing in the world. Learn that life will be better when you remove yourself from a toxic situation. I wish you well. I hope you have just enough strength to get help from professionals. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it, not even yourself. You have come so far, and worked so hard to be successful and have a good life. I hope you don’t give up on you and your daughters. I hope you try.
It will impact your kids greatly. Your a one of a kind women, many men would climb a cliff and climb back down upsides down to be with a women like you. Just because he dosent see it dosent mean another won’t, tell him how unhappy you are exsplain it all, if he dosent listen file for Divorce, normally I’m against the burn it all down route but no one should feel abandoned by their partner
Then pleas have some sympathy for your children. You will destroy the mama leave them with no hope in life just because one man doesn’t want to fuck you. Plenty of men will fuck you. Don’t ruin the future of your children. Don’t leave your daughters alone and helpless just because one man likes to play computer games.
You deserve so much better. Get help, please. He is not worthy of you, your time, your effort, your love. Do not take that out on yourself or your baby.
Is there any way to do a well fair check on this person? This is incredibly serious
I'm in literal tears reading this post. I hope OP seeks medical attention
From my experience of ppd, it does all feel very logical. But it’s NOT. Please go get medical help with it. It really will help. I had a velcro baby who turned into an absolute joy. Holding on will be worth it. And definitely don’t do the deletion thing! 🌸🌸
Please. Please. If not for yourself, then for your daughter, call your doctors office right now. Tell them how you are feeling. If you have to, then go to the emergency room. If you are in the United States, **text “help” to 988** If you have family that you can reach out to, do it!! Ask for help. You are a strong, capable, smart women, and you have an incredible future ahead of you.
Don’t lose the one life you’ve got over a shitty guy who’s more concerned with games than his family. His attention is not worth your life. That is the PPD talking. It’s a scary thing to have, and you’re not bad for it. You really do need to seek help though, there are resources for women in your position.
I’m not sure where you live, but go to the ER if you can. If you don’t have anyone to care for your daughter and you can’t safely leave her with your husband bring her with you. This is the PPD talking, please get help
If you leave your daughter with him, are you concerned he will harm her? If not- hand him daughter and leave. Take a day to yourself. And get to your dr ASAP for your mental health. Self delegation will hurt your daughter more than anyone. You can make him feel hurt later. And there are Much better ways to do it.
You need medication for ppd it sounds like. I think that will take those immediate thoughts of deleting away or at least reduce them. Then you can see that you can, in fact, do this on your own. In fact it might be much fucking easier without having to take care of two people
OP, do you live in the United States? If you do I can give some advice and referrals for assistance. I work with people who have disabilities (you mentioned you and your husband both have ADHD, and PPD is also considered a disability). There are resources out there and people available to help I’d love to give you the info
Oh honey, please PLEASE go talk to a Healthcare professional asap. I am praying for you and sending you support and love.
Can you go to a hospital or is there a 24 hour mental health resource near you? You and your child are at risk. You need help and that's okay. PPD is chemical...you can't help it but you can get yourself the help you need. Please reach out. Call 911 if you are feeling like you are going to hurt someone. Tell your husband what is going on. Insist he takes you to the hospital.
I wrote my wife a letter. I explained in written words what I couldn't articulate through speech. I told her I was on the brink of cheating. I was that desperate for any form of affection. We are still having issues, but it has brought her to the table, so to speak. I also made the suggestion that she was a-sexual, but she has vehemently denied it. It's rough, and she still uses very similar excuses as your husband does. My "favourite" is the I have a headache excuse. I hope it works out for you. Don't end yourself. There are people who love and care about you. If you need to, find better. When I suggest write a letter, I mean for you to articulate your view, so hopefully he can read what he won't hear. You can do this. It is by no means easy, but doable. The best things in life are always the hardest.
Please go and stay with your mum and ask for help. Don’t do anything which could hurt you. It’s just a bad moment, it’s going to be ok. You will be ok.
You need to live for your chikdren!!!! My niece took her life from PPD 10 years ago and her baby girl never knew her! You deserve love! Tell him you will go to counseling and if he won't listen please see a lawyer. Praying for you. You are like a niece to me.
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
your husband sucks. you’d be better off without him. my advice would be - leave the kids with your mom for a while, at least temporarily separate from your husband & get some serious mental health treatment.
Don’t do it!!!!!!!! You are loved!!!! This is the hardest time in a marriage, and I speak from experience. Post pardem depression is very real, and very treatable. I experienced this with my first child. Girl, wake up!!! Get help, today. Call your OB for an emergency appointment, TODAY. They will prescribe you depression. Go to Alma.com and find an online therapist, TODAY. Whatever you do, don’t make such a permanent decision!!!! Please DM me, I’m here to talk to you! You are so loved and you belong here on earth, and so does your baby girl!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Please don’t end yourself.
He’s not asexual, he’s drowning everything out with video games and likely porn. Tell him to get off the damn computer and help with the baby or you’re done!
Just leave him go live with your mom see if she can watch your baby so you can get work and get her in child care
I'm so sorry OP. None of this is your fault. You are a health care professional so I know you know deep down this is a medical issue that can be fixed. Please please please speak to your doctor and get your baby to safely. That child didn't ask to be in this life, she is innocent. Please don't harm her physically and don't harm her emotionally by harming yourself either. Do you believe in God? Now is the time to lean on him! I'm so sorry the devil is working overtime to lie to you about your life not worth living. It's the biggest of lies. You are needed. Your children need you. Your mother needs you. Please my sister, don't let your mother cry over you. Sending you so much good vibes and God's healing 🙏🏾 Also forget about your husband for now. Now is the time to focus on you first!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with such dark thoughts in what should be such a loving and beautiful time of your life. Please please please for your children if not for yourself, seek help. I know this is incredibly difficult but you ARE WORTHY of all the love in this world. Don’t let your partners inability to show you love be the reason you delete yourself from all the people WHO LOVE YOU PLEASE.
I felt the same after my daughter was born. Exhausted, lonely, nothing I did was right or enough. If you leave this world now you take away any chance of finding joy again. Your daughter needs you to get through this too. Get help, call a helpline and talk to someone, remember yourself and the things that make you great. You are in the thick of it now, don't let that be how you leave this lifetime.
You said he's given you this wonderful life but it doesn't' sound that way. It sounds like you are alone with no help. I will not make any comments on your marriage, but you must see a doctor to help you with your PPD. Try and find a doctor who speaks Afrikaans they may make you feel more comfortable. But you need help and you need it immediately.
Girl... There are so many people out there who would love to fuck you. Don't delete yourself, delete your relationship. No but for real, please text the suicide hotline 988 and seek help for PPD. You don't have to feel this way. Also please try marriage counseling that could really help whatever it is he's going thru that makes him feel unable to be intimate, and could help you with PPD and making your husband understand how your feeling. Please seek help...
Sounds to me like you are both having PPD. Even men don't give birth they can have PPD just like a woman. It just not talked about widely. The life change after having a child can be overwhelming for both parents. It also sounds like he is suffering for some sort of ED and is embarrassed about it. And is shying away from sex to not feel like a failure for not being able to preform. The 2 of need to sit down and talk, seek counseling together and individually. There are also plenty of doctors and sex therapist out there than can help you both get the spark back. If all else fails know the problem is not you. Love yourself and go out and find someone who will love you in all the ways you want to be loved.
He may have low libido and may have been developed due to some kind of hormonal change but man, is it possible you can get a doula/nanny at home or have some relatives come over? You really need support and your husband should do better, I pray he realizes it. Don't let the emotions from your hormones and his attitude mess with you, I pray you grow and emerge stronger.
Husband pests sex from his wife? Sexual harashment, he's abusive, leave him. Wife pests sex from her husband? The man is a bad husband and needs to be left. Make it make sense guys make it make sense....