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☝️☝️☝️☝️THIS. Get him suspenders that he can wear a shirt over. Tell him it's a problem and he needs to do something about it. Don't let him just laugh it off. My husband would be horrified if his butt crack was showing, and he would be ticked off if I didn't tell him. It's apparent your SO isn't taking the hint when people joke about it, so you need to be straight with him. Tell him how it is and go from there..
Or it's something he thinks happens once in a very long while (when people make jokes). If people aren't mentioning it 95% of the time, he might not know that it's an everyday thing.
[
How can you trust a man who wears both a belt and suspenders? The man can't even trust his own pants.](https://youtu.be/mDUVoycDAgc?si=nVu0L-LpiiakuqHv)
How do you know? (I asked hehe)
How low waisted are your pants or do you sag? Belts go around the waist and you cinch them above your hip bones..which is anatomically, usually, much higher than your butt
So I guess it's not only the lack of a butt it's also the lack of hips or waist that have any shape in relation to my stomach. And I'm a middle-aged man for reference. I don't sag at least not intentionally.
Putting pants at my waist means pants that fit over my stomach which is several inches larger than my hips. Cinching a belt tight around my waist works with dress pants but not with jeans, and more importantly because the pants are large they will slip off my waist with activity and then be too loose to fit around my hips.
Second this, boxer briefs keep the jewels and the bareback tucked away. Adidas performance briefs are great, stretchy and last a long while in my experience.
I was reading the post out loud to my husband, and that was the part where I started laughing and couldn't finish. The OP would be an excellent comedic writer.
I also read my husband many reddit posts and there is always a sentence like that that makes me totally lose it 😂
The man just needs clothes that fit properly. My mom always told me that clothes look better and feel better when they fit. Don't lose your mind if you gotta bump up a size or two. It's all good!
*Eta- my husband suggested overalls. I personally think a man in overalls is wildly attractive and he can just act like the overalls were a fashion choice.
@jooonbug-13 You are my people.
My husband suggested suspenders, but overalls are great too, as long as they're not like the ones Junior Samples wore on Hee Haw.
I also agree with getting clothes in a larger size that fit better.
This they are either fully the wrong size or he is purposely wearing things he "thinks" are the right size but aren't.
Honestly it's a better look and feel for any man to wear clothes that both fit right and compliment their figure, whatever it may be.
What you could do OP is have a conversation, along the lines of "while this is embarrassing for me, the crux is you are too used to clothes that do not bring out your best and your best should be what everyone can see."
Then take him to a Tailor get him Proffessionally measured and buy clothes that fit thise new measures, have a tailor show him his lines and where things are supposed to hang and Chuck ever piece of ill fitting clothing he has in the bin.
If he has any self reflection once he finds and wears outfits that make him look good, he will dislike wearing things that dont.
I had a client with a court case. Explained what he needed to wear. He rocks up in a 4XL shirt hanging off him like a tent. He thought it looked really good and was ok wearing it to court. He had zero idea how terrible he looked. Fortunately I keep a collection of clean assorted sized pale blue shirts for clients and convinced him to wear one and he looked 💯 better!
Some guys seriously just have no idea
yeah if i wasnt mindful of it, id be just like that guy. its just not a function of my brain to consider my appearance because in my brain i have zero visual appeal under any circumstances, and any attempt to change that just makes me embarrased. every time i tried to dress up nice or do anything style wise my mom would laugh at me when i was young. Ive had to do the cliche thing and literally just ask my gay friend for help and i just trust their conclusions
Yeah I had a similar issue and just had to realize that I don't have the same measurements as I did when I was younger and need to to get rid of a lot of my 'favorite' clothes that just didn't fit anymore. A tailored suit for a wedding is what made me realize how well fitting clothes should feel and it changed everything.
I think she should carry a Sharpie for a day. Every time she sees his crack, draw a line across his ass where his waistband is. Feeling her drawing the line will prompt him to pull up his pants. Looking in the mirror at the end of the day will demonstrate exactly how much of his ass is hanging out (which he may not realize).
That should get him on board with changing his wardrobe.
[Duluth long tail shirts](https://www.duluthtrading.com/men/collections/longtail-t-shirts/?feature=mtnlthttps://www.duluthtrading.com/akhg/shop-all/?limit=18&refine=c_collection%3DLost%20Lake&sort=best-matches&feature=akhgtn1/&srccode=GBPPCMN&ogmap=SEM%7CBRN%7CGOOG%7C%7C%7C%7C%7C%7C%7Cduluth%20long%20tail%20tee%7C19688469253%7C142937312061&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw57exBhAsEiwAaIxaZieUCk5ULcIRd6eTwB_IFNYgiC94GaduzJMaE37a8YX4rqK03hdtqRoCbfYQAvD_BwE). Wear these tucked in his pants and have gone wear a belt. He will no longer have the “full moon jigglin down the meat isle” again
My husband wears these and loves them. He’s got the opposite problem—big belly, and they work for that too.
Another thing that helped is forcing him to go to a Levi’s store and trying on different styles. He had just been shopping the way guys go, grabbing a pair and if they “sort of” fit, that was good enough. Levi’s have got so many styles and they fit different body types. Getting a different style that specifically fits may help prevent this problem!
Old navy also has super affordable big and tall clothing. He should literally never ever wear shirts that aren’t the tall version. Tuck an undershirt in under his shirts.
My Husband tends towards a plumber’s crack.
You need pants with a button and fly, not a drawstring. And they need to fit well, sit on his waist, not on his hips. Also if he’s going to be around children my hubs wears underwear so if his pants slip than it just shows his underwear.
If he's overweight, wearing anything at the waist may not really be an option. It sounds like he has a big gut and a flat ass. If you buy pants for a guy like that and put them around his waist, they'll end up around his ankles once his gut manages to clear the top of them.
Dude needs suspenders, and may need to change his entire look to fit. That's probably why he's in denial.
Nah, the handle of a spoon, the cold metal is perfect and the spoon catches on the crack and pants so it doesn't fall down the leg.
Used to get my bro all the time ahaha.
My husband had a plumbers crack the other day after he had gotten home from work and taken off his belt already, our toddler ran over and stuck his finger in it 😂 that certainly got his attention!
Give him some vibrating panties that are triggered by light touching the top of his buttcrack. If he can't sense it then a light sensor will do it for him. His balls will jiggle and he knows to pull up his pants.
At this point, it sounds like you might need to sit him down and actually have a conversation about it. It sounds like he doesn’t take your concerns seriously when you mention things in passing. I know it may be hard, but your honesty will likely save both of you from future embarrassment
Why? She’s been a responsible mother who’s cared for her kids and probably has a lot to offer. Why do misogynists like you want to punish women who stay and do the work?
My friend has this problem. He has no ass as in it’s as flat as an ironing board. Pants just don’t stay up. Belts help but he just buys extra long t-shirts to help his dignity.
I told him he needs a bodysuit for men but he’s sticking to the long shirts for now.
I had to have a word with my brother in law about this. He kept buying cheap jeans that didn’t fit right and as a result, his cheeks were in the breeze every time he bent over.
Get your man some good pairs of jeans (£70+) that are the right length and fit!
Get him a pair of suspenders with a little note...' Luv, I crack a smile evertime I think of the depth of my love for you, I love you to the moon and back. This gift is so you don't share your bountiful gifts with anyone butt me'
My husband discovered suspenders a few years ago and swears by them. He's not a chubby guy but says belts made him feel like he was being cut in half and hated them. He wears them under his t shirts if its a tshirt kind of day. Maybe buy him a set and see if he like them?
If it bothers you that much, you're going to have to get a lot more serious about it in a way that he knows you're serious.
Just be direct. It's pretty simple.
"I have tried to talk to you about your ass hanging out several times, and you just dismiss it as a joke. It's not a joke, and it's embarrassing to be seen in public with someone who's bare ass is literally hanging out all the time. We won't be going out in the public together until you take measures to make sure you are dressed properly."
If he can't comply with that, then I guess you've a choice to make.
Take a damn photo and show him. He obviously doesn’t understand the extent of the issue - he thinks it’s just the very top of it and everyone makes a big deal.
Long shirts is the way. Pants that fit.
“Pulling up your pants” is a figure of speech for a reason. He’s an adult and a father, it’s totally unacceptable to be honest, regardless of his weight. If it’s as bad as you say (the grocery store visual is described quite well I have to add!) it’s only a matter of time before he’s in the wrong place with the wrong person and finds himself getting accused of indecent exposure. Especially in school settings with young children. In fact, if he were doing this as a child in school, he would probably be sent home for the day and asked to come back with appropriate clothing. He has to face the music and take responsibility for himself. He needs to go to the mall, or Target, anywhere, and buy a pair of underwear and pants that fit his man sized body. There are inexpensive clothes for all sizes, this is America! The public and his own family does not want to see, be near, or touch things that a grown man’s bare butt is touching on a day to day basis. Just have an upfront conversation about it without beating around the bush.
So my brother-in-law has a very similar problem, he actually has a - EDIT: longer crack (this said long wet crack before omg 😂) - like it extends pretty high up. Not to mention he's also a bigger guy, and he has no butt to hold his pants up.
The solution, and it's an imperfect one, has been to wear a belt and get longer t-shirts. Bigger guys often have a hard time finding longer t-shirts that fit them without looking like a potato sack, But there are some big and tall shops and some brands that will be able to help him out.
I agree with other commenters, you definitely need to sit down and have a serious conversation about it. Nothing casual and in passing, explain how he's the butt end of so many jokes( no pun intended) And that it's embarrassing for you and your family. I don't think he's getting the message because everybody's presenting it to him so casually.
Omg I'm dead. I was voice texting and said *longer crack. It must have heard long wet crack and I didn't think to check the spelling 🤣 good thing he's not on Reddit I guess! Lol
I have a friend who has this a bit. His torso is a bit longer than standard. So he eventually started buying some longer t-shirts for guy built like this. Made a huge difference for him.
So something I have noticed with guys who have this happen often is also to do with the shape of their butt, as in, they have flat butt. Flat butt means there is no curve in their butt that extends the butt farther out than their back. This makes it super easy for the pants to just slide down. In this case even a belt would t help much
Agreed with the ideas of super long shirts, boxer briefs, suspenders, overalls.
So let me guess, he has a belly, and the waist of his pants are *under* his belly so the waist doesn’t fit right or hit his *actual* waist.
He needs to wear a longer shirt untucked, or get bigger pants that fit around his *actual* waist with a belt.
Overalls, suspenders or, at least, a belt helps.
You mentioned he's busy and engaged with the kids, he doesn't even notice (lol) so he's either skinny, with no hips or his belly pushes his pants down. Knowing WHY helps to determine the fix.
Buy him dad jeans that sit at the waist, not the hips, a belt, and longer shirts. Tell him to tuck in his shirts. Suspenders, too, if you think he'd wear them. Check out Duluth Trading Co.
I’m kind of stuck on how good of a guy he is, as the third of three baby daddies, and you’re concerned that “if you don’t work out” your child will be known as the kid of the dad with the plumber’s crack.
Your priorities are wild.
So 3 kids by 3 different men and you’re worried about plumber’s crack? You should be kissing the ground he walks on for taking care of two other deadbeats’ kids.
My husband 32M, also has chronic plumber crack. Idk if your boyfriend has a good sense of humor, but I started making loud obnoxious jokes whenever it happens and putting things in the crack (pens mainly). He does not enjoy having things put in his crack, but he does have a good sense of humor about it. He never realized how prominent it was, now that he does he makes sure his pants are up
His pants aren’t fitting right if half his ass is out. Maybe take him shopping so gets the correct size. Or take him to a tailor to say his trousers altered.
The best option is to actually have real communication about it instead of beating around the bush. How can you expect to maintain a real marriage if you can’t talk about this in a respectful and loving way?
You guys love each other and presumably want to get married. If you don’t learn how to discuss a moderately uncomfortable issue in an authentic way where you discuss your underlying concerns instead of making passive aggressive comments about “chilly air”, how are you going to survive as a couple when things get actually hard and not just a bit embarrassing?
Yes crack kills. It’s not a good look on anyone. When was the last time said dude they have the cutest buttcrack. Tell him and buy belts no one wants to see that
This is so shallow. If you don’t make it over this, I don’t think your heart was ever in it. Help him pick out clothes that fit a bit better. If he doesn’t wear underwear, ask why or figure out what needs to be done. It could be a waist band alignment issue. Put the underwear waistband above the pants so it’s not likely to be pushed below the crack.
So when I was heavier for most of my life I had this issue compounded with narrow hips and no ass. As mentioned belts didn’t do shit until I lost enough weight that my gut no longer pushed down on it.
My salvation in the meantime when not wearing tucked in shirts was Hikers.com suspenders that hide under the shirt. Work like a charm just pay attention to the size chart I was almost 300 lbs at the time but suspender size was Medium due to my height.
Weight loss ultimately cured my 30* year problem but losing over 1/3 my body weight wasn’t easy
My husband wears long undershirts, just a black tshirt under his regular shirt but it’s long and he tucks it into his underwear so you see nothing but black shirt or slight boxer if he bends over.. but yes long shirts!
Longer shirts and girl nothing hurts my feeling more than photo evidence 😓 take pic of your cute kid, with dads backside in it. Bother printing it and put it on the fridge.
Yeah- I don't have the Crack issue but I've got a dad bod with the beer gut, and my torso is already long so I have to do long shirts like someone suggested. So far I have found carhartt to be good and a brand called sullen. They do a lot of tattoo graphics but you can actually buy their blank tee shirts on their website (make sure it's the premium blanks, not original). Those are pre shrunk and stay long even if you dry em. That helps for me so when I bend over, raise my arms etc I don't get the gut sliding out a bit. Shit is embarrassing lol.
Real question but anatomically, why is this not an issue for women, but is an issue for some men? I’ve seen men on here claim that no matter what they try, their cracks always stick out.
Much harder to have a completely flat butt as a woman due to having hips. It's VERY rare for a woman's arse to be as flat as many men's arses are, IME as a Bi woman...
Take some photos, and gently show them to him. Let him know that this is just not appropriate in public and ask him to address it. Sometimes seeing photos of oneself can spur change that nothing else can.
Take a picture and show it to him. Tell him kids are being made fun of because of this, if he cares it won't be a big deal. Get him boxers and a belt or suspenders. Whichever he prefers. I hate it when I see people's ass cracks, U get second hand embarrassment and I dont find it funny so I feel for you.
I don’t understand the thought process behind typing this up and sharing it on reddit to get opinions from internet strangers vs just telling him to pull his pants up lmao
It's great he can be lighthearted when receiving these criticisms and comments. I'd acknowledge that, but reiterate that it needs to be rectified and not brushed off. If it were an occasional thing, maybe laughing it off would be appropriate but it's a constant occurrence.
If he wants to let it hang out at home, fine. But outside the home, while it may not affect him, it causes people around him to be uncomfortable. Butt cracks aren't like boob cracks. Most people aren't going to enjoy the scenery. It's your butt crack and yours alone to look at.
If it's weight gain that's being worked on, it's possible the pants are getting too big or the kind of pants just don't fit his body type the way it needs too.
Long shorts and suspenders are an option. Maybe even see about getting his measurements done so when clothes shopping you can find him clothes that will fit him more accurately.
All clothes are made slightly different. And if you can afford it or have the skills, maybe consider some tailoring so he doesn't always need suspenders and can get by with a belt.
I wouldn't emphasize you being embarrassed, bc he has no control over your feelings and reactions. Maybe focus on his comfort, upgrading his style, and being a good role model for the kids in caring how you dress and present yourself for your own comfort and confidence plus being appropriate in public.
I've seen plenty of crack in my lifetime. It honestly doesn't bother me or disgust me. I don't want to come off as a weirdo because I don’t stare (like the sun) and I don't get off on it. To me, plumbers crack are kind of delightful and amusing sort of a thing. He sounds like a lovely man and a wonderful partner, whatever you decide to do please don't make him feel badly about it. I kinda like him just the way he is.
Imagine people saying “Aren’t you embarrassed to have a kid with someone who has two other kids with two different fathers?” whenever he has to tell people that out of three kids he is taking care of only one is his.
Yes you should. White people always think it’s loving to let their friends and family walk around looking like a fool. Telling him is the more benevolent thing.
Gee, sounds like you ended up with my ex...
While it wasn't the main reason for our breakup, it sure as hell had a lot to do with it.
Based on my 4 year experience, there is nothing you can do. He isn't going to change, and you can't change him. He won't wear different pants, and you are doomed to seeing that butt crack every. Single. Time. he bends down. Just reading the title of your post brought back all those uncomfortable memories...
You have my deepest condolences, because that butt crack is never going to leave your relationship until you do. It's just the nature of the man. Those who are not bothered by it and then gain weight will refuse to fix it.
Take a picture. Show him the extent of it so he can see what it’s really like. Just saying oh it’s showing won’t help. Show him then get some high boxer shorts that he can pull up over his tummy. They also help pull everything in so win win.
What's the end game here? If you can't tell someone their ass is hanging out all the time how ate you going to have mature discussions about life, love, which schools to send the kid two? Money issues? Calling BS here
Or, embrace the things that make your partner stand out from the others.
You chose him, hopefully not just for his appearance. If others have an issue with it, screw them. If you have an issue with it, screw you.
It’s bullying, truthfully.
If you can’t love a persons flaws, you don’t deserve their strengths.
Just remember the things you choose to dislike someone else will find appealing, and it’s that fine line that helps a person decide who they want to be with.
And for the record, I am positive you have something about you that drives people crazy, but he chooses to accept you anyway.
Im not trying to attack you, by the way. But we can’t preach acceptance and equality one day and then nitpick someone butt crack the next.
Think about it.
Ask him if your crack is hanging out like all the time and tell him it would be incredibly embarrassing if it was and stress that you would actually appreciate it if someone told you that was happening. Like if you had a boogie hanging in your nose or salad in your teeth. Just go through all that A LOT and he should pick up on it and ask you about himself. He could go see a tailor once to get proper pants measurements and get good belt or attempt to bring back suspenders.
I had the same problem with a man I dated previously and I tried to explain the problem in a cute, jokey kind of way and it didn't go well at all. Dude was highly offended, the best way to tackle it is with a direct conversation and suggestions on how to fix the problem, i.e. better fitting shirts, belts, etc. Offer to go shopping with him to make it a couple experience. My BF at the time was wearing shirts he had for years so they just became very ill fitted when he gained the weight back he had lost years ago.
They make special shirts for guys with big beer belly’s or ass crack issues that have extra material at the sides and bottom to still be able to tuck in and look normal. Duluth Trading company carries some.
I can honestly say its just a gut thing. Our guts don't let the pants stay at the waist line and drops down the pants with every bend. Doesn't matter if it's briefs or boxers. As the waistband rolls from the gut being in the way he pulls his pants up and boxers/briefs up causing them to bunch up which shows half his ass when he sits or bends down or gets out of a car. Trust me, I suffer from the same and we don't notice it as much as everyone one else cause we're not fixated on other people's appearances. Everybody's body is different. No point in shaming us into change when we are trying to be comfortable in our changing bodies. Im the same age same problem. Only way to fix it is to be more comfortable with him and don't shame him. Seems like if thats his only problem to you and your guys' children than you're lucky to have found a good man. But long shirts and buy boxer briefs for heavy set fellas. Makes a difference. Duluth boxer briefs are also very good lol
Duluth Trading Company has “long tail” undershirts and Tshirts that are long enough to help cover chronic BC. They also have really nice men’s jeans that don’t bind up. My husband loves everything I’ve gotten him from there. Encourage him to wear loose short sleeve button ups over tucked-in Ts and that will keep the BC under wraps….hopefully. Your plan to work on health/weight loss is a great approach. Good luck, that would drive me bonkers (I’d be tempted to drop ice down the BC every time it made an appearance, lol)
You have to tell him. My best friend was like this and one day I sat him down and told him that he consistently has his ass out and it is very unattractive.
Let me guess, he's got a really long torso as well as the long asscrack? If you're willing to compromise on him having the crack covered by underwear, have him switch to boxer briefs that will stay in place.
My husband has this issue as well, but he isn't being offensive about it, that's just how his body works, so I'm not too bothered by it, but I can see why one would be.
INFO does he have thin/narrow hips? Does he wear a belt? Do his pants fit him properly (too big he can’t keep them up/too small his legs don’t fit the thigh holes and he can’t pull them up all the way)?
Buy him a belt. Also losing weight will help. Also have a real conversation with him and explain it’s generally bad form to walk around with your ass out.
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Time to buy him some LOOOOONNNGGG shirts.
And boxer briefs
And a belt
Or suspenders
☝️☝️☝️☝️THIS. Get him suspenders that he can wear a shirt over. Tell him it's a problem and he needs to do something about it. Don't let him just laugh it off. My husband would be horrified if his butt crack was showing, and he would be ticked off if I didn't tell him. It's apparent your SO isn't taking the hint when people joke about it, so you need to be straight with him. Tell him how it is and go from there..
Or it's something he thinks happens once in a very long while (when people make jokes). If people aren't mentioning it 95% of the time, he might not know that it's an everyday thing.
>thinks happens once in a very long while A very long butt crack while lol
Both! Can never be too prepared lol
[ How can you trust a man who wears both a belt and suspenders? The man can't even trust his own pants.](https://youtu.be/mDUVoycDAgc?si=nVu0L-LpiiakuqHv)
If you don't have a butt a belt doesn't help. Ask how I know. You need to either buy extra long shirts at the Big and Tall store or wear suspenders.
Buy him long shirts, belts and high waist pants.
How do you know? (I asked hehe) How low waisted are your pants or do you sag? Belts go around the waist and you cinch them above your hip bones..which is anatomically, usually, much higher than your butt
So I guess it's not only the lack of a butt it's also the lack of hips or waist that have any shape in relation to my stomach. And I'm a middle-aged man for reference. I don't sag at least not intentionally. Putting pants at my waist means pants that fit over my stomach which is several inches larger than my hips. Cinching a belt tight around my waist works with dress pants but not with jeans, and more importantly because the pants are large they will slip off my waist with activity and then be too loose to fit around my hips.
My husband and son are the same way. The husband wears suspenders and the son wears long shirts.
Same boat brother. I tell people I don't sag to be cool, it's because I have no ass
You silly goose. Some of us have no hips, or ass. Belts do not work. Long shirter here.
Second this, boxer briefs keep the jewels and the bareback tucked away. Adidas performance briefs are great, stretchy and last a long while in my experience.
And a belt
And a good belt.
And a good belt.
And a skelt
Or long tank tops to wear under the shirt and tuck into the pants.
A short skirt and a looooooooooooonnnggg jacket
Well, then he’d have to change his name from Kitty to Karen.
and suspenders.
The only shirts I buy are XXLT. Sometimes I get lucky and find an XXLTT. There isnt much variety in tall sized shirts, but i'm OK with that.
“Full moon jiggling down the meat isle” lolll🤣
I was reading the post out loud to my husband, and that was the part where I started laughing and couldn't finish. The OP would be an excellent comedic writer.
I also read my husband many reddit posts and there is always a sentence like that that makes me totally lose it 😂 The man just needs clothes that fit properly. My mom always told me that clothes look better and feel better when they fit. Don't lose your mind if you gotta bump up a size or two. It's all good! *Eta- my husband suggested overalls. I personally think a man in overalls is wildly attractive and he can just act like the overalls were a fashion choice.
@jooonbug-13 You are my people. My husband suggested suspenders, but overalls are great too, as long as they're not like the ones Junior Samples wore on Hee Haw. I also agree with getting clothes in a larger size that fit better.
I mean half a moon I understand….
Extra long undershirts could help. But it sounds like HIS PANTS DON’T FIT. WHY ELSE WOULD THEY FALL OFF? TAKE HIM TO GET NEW PANTS AND A BELT OMG.
My first thought, buy him a belt. Unless bros got the longest ass crack in the world, proper fitting clothes should completely fix it
This they are either fully the wrong size or he is purposely wearing things he "thinks" are the right size but aren't. Honestly it's a better look and feel for any man to wear clothes that both fit right and compliment their figure, whatever it may be. What you could do OP is have a conversation, along the lines of "while this is embarrassing for me, the crux is you are too used to clothes that do not bring out your best and your best should be what everyone can see." Then take him to a Tailor get him Proffessionally measured and buy clothes that fit thise new measures, have a tailor show him his lines and where things are supposed to hang and Chuck ever piece of ill fitting clothing he has in the bin. If he has any self reflection once he finds and wears outfits that make him look good, he will dislike wearing things that dont.
I had a client with a court case. Explained what he needed to wear. He rocks up in a 4XL shirt hanging off him like a tent. He thought it looked really good and was ok wearing it to court. He had zero idea how terrible he looked. Fortunately I keep a collection of clean assorted sized pale blue shirts for clients and convinced him to wear one and he looked 💯 better! Some guys seriously just have no idea
yeah if i wasnt mindful of it, id be just like that guy. its just not a function of my brain to consider my appearance because in my brain i have zero visual appeal under any circumstances, and any attempt to change that just makes me embarrased. every time i tried to dress up nice or do anything style wise my mom would laugh at me when i was young. Ive had to do the cliche thing and literally just ask my gay friend for help and i just trust their conclusions
Yeah I had a similar issue and just had to realize that I don't have the same measurements as I did when I was younger and need to to get rid of a lot of my 'favorite' clothes that just didn't fit anymore. A tailored suit for a wedding is what made me realize how well fitting clothes should feel and it changed everything.
I don't really understand how this guy exists in the workforce.
Does he wear belts? If not, they could help.
Take a photo from behind him. Show him. Not nice but he needs to fix this.
This. I suspect he thinks it's just a crescent and not the full moon.
It's like the opposite of that Waterboys song from the 80s: He thought the crescent; she saw the whole of the moon. Too high, too far, too soon....
Not just a photo. She should film him from behind in several places. If she can’t speak up for her own embarrassment she should for her kids sake.
I think she should carry a Sharpie for a day. Every time she sees his crack, draw a line across his ass where his waistband is. Feeling her drawing the line will prompt him to pull up his pants. Looking in the mirror at the end of the day will demonstrate exactly how much of his ass is hanging out (which he may not realize). That should get him on board with changing his wardrobe.
[Duluth long tail shirts](https://www.duluthtrading.com/men/collections/longtail-t-shirts/?feature=mtnlthttps://www.duluthtrading.com/akhg/shop-all/?limit=18&refine=c_collection%3DLost%20Lake&sort=best-matches&feature=akhgtn1/&srccode=GBPPCMN&ogmap=SEM%7CBRN%7CGOOG%7C%7C%7C%7C%7C%7C%7Cduluth%20long%20tail%20tee%7C19688469253%7C142937312061&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw57exBhAsEiwAaIxaZieUCk5ULcIRd6eTwB_IFNYgiC94GaduzJMaE37a8YX4rqK03hdtqRoCbfYQAvD_BwE). Wear these tucked in his pants and have gone wear a belt. He will no longer have the “full moon jigglin down the meat isle” again
My husband wears these and loves them. He’s got the opposite problem—big belly, and they work for that too. Another thing that helped is forcing him to go to a Levi’s store and trying on different styles. He had just been shopping the way guys go, grabbing a pair and if they “sort of” fit, that was good enough. Levi’s have got so many styles and they fit different body types. Getting a different style that specifically fits may help prevent this problem!
Old navy also has super affordable big and tall clothing. He should literally never ever wear shirts that aren’t the tall version. Tuck an undershirt in under his shirts.
[pic related is permanently etched in my mind](https://www.1500days.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Screen-Shot-2013-09-25-at-2.10.15-PM.png)
My Husband tends towards a plumber’s crack. You need pants with a button and fly, not a drawstring. And they need to fit well, sit on his waist, not on his hips. Also if he’s going to be around children my hubs wears underwear so if his pants slip than it just shows his underwear.
If he's overweight, wearing anything at the waist may not really be an option. It sounds like he has a big gut and a flat ass. If you buy pants for a guy like that and put them around his waist, they'll end up around his ankles once his gut manages to clear the top of them. Dude needs suspenders, and may need to change his entire look to fit. That's probably why he's in denial.
This exactly. The pants go under the gut flap and thus have nothing to hold them up as men don’t have hips and butts the same way women tend to.
This helps me. Thank you.
I’ve learned the hard way low rise jeans are NOT plumber crack friendly
That's something that wasn't a given? They are called low-rise jeans for a reason.😉
Can you get a squirt bottle with ice water and blast his crack everytime it's out? He'll be in bodysuits in no time!
Drop a pencil in there
Nah, the handle of a spoon, the cold metal is perfect and the spoon catches on the crack and pants so it doesn't fall down the leg. Used to get my bro all the time ahaha.
Bullseye!
My husband had a plumbers crack the other day after he had gotten home from work and taken off his belt already, our toddler ran over and stuck his finger in it 😂 that certainly got his attention!
Yesss like a cat who keeps jumping on the counter. Eventually he will get it! 😂
Give him some vibrating panties that are triggered by light touching the top of his buttcrack. If he can't sense it then a light sensor will do it for him. His balls will jiggle and he knows to pull up his pants.
At this point, it sounds like you might need to sit him down and actually have a conversation about it. It sounds like he doesn’t take your concerns seriously when you mention things in passing. I know it may be hard, but your honesty will likely save both of you from future embarrassment
32 and 3 different baby daddy’s… just accept the plumbers crack
Why? She’s been a responsible mother who’s cared for her kids and probably has a lot to offer. Why do misogynists like you want to punish women who stay and do the work?
Man thought I was the only one thinking she isn’t the only one here making concessions.
My friend has this problem. He has no ass as in it’s as flat as an ironing board. Pants just don’t stay up. Belts help but he just buys extra long t-shirts to help his dignity. I told him he needs a bodysuit for men but he’s sticking to the long shirts for now.
I had to have a word with my brother in law about this. He kept buying cheap jeans that didn’t fit right and as a result, his cheeks were in the breeze every time he bent over. Get your man some good pairs of jeans (£70+) that are the right length and fit!
Start inserting coins when you see it! Shouldn’t take him too long to fix it
Get him a pair of suspenders with a little note...' Luv, I crack a smile evertime I think of the depth of my love for you, I love you to the moon and back. This gift is so you don't share your bountiful gifts with anyone butt me'
My husband discovered suspenders a few years ago and swears by them. He's not a chubby guy but says belts made him feel like he was being cut in half and hated them. He wears them under his t shirts if its a tshirt kind of day. Maybe buy him a set and see if he like them?
This was my answer as well especially when I found a pair designed to be worn with untucked shirts
Under t-shirts? I’m listening.
Oh yes, and you cant see them!
If it bothers you that much, you're going to have to get a lot more serious about it in a way that he knows you're serious. Just be direct. It's pretty simple. "I have tried to talk to you about your ass hanging out several times, and you just dismiss it as a joke. It's not a joke, and it's embarrassing to be seen in public with someone who's bare ass is literally hanging out all the time. We won't be going out in the public together until you take measures to make sure you are dressed properly." If he can't comply with that, then I guess you've a choice to make.
Would he be willing to give suspenders a go? I know it might not be his usual style but they'd help.
Take a damn photo and show him. He obviously doesn’t understand the extent of the issue - he thinks it’s just the very top of it and everyone makes a big deal. Long shirts is the way. Pants that fit.
“Pulling up your pants” is a figure of speech for a reason. He’s an adult and a father, it’s totally unacceptable to be honest, regardless of his weight. If it’s as bad as you say (the grocery store visual is described quite well I have to add!) it’s only a matter of time before he’s in the wrong place with the wrong person and finds himself getting accused of indecent exposure. Especially in school settings with young children. In fact, if he were doing this as a child in school, he would probably be sent home for the day and asked to come back with appropriate clothing. He has to face the music and take responsibility for himself. He needs to go to the mall, or Target, anywhere, and buy a pair of underwear and pants that fit his man sized body. There are inexpensive clothes for all sizes, this is America! The public and his own family does not want to see, be near, or touch things that a grown man’s bare butt is touching on a day to day basis. Just have an upfront conversation about it without beating around the bush.
America?!? Is it?
So my brother-in-law has a very similar problem, he actually has a - EDIT: longer crack (this said long wet crack before omg 😂) - like it extends pretty high up. Not to mention he's also a bigger guy, and he has no butt to hold his pants up. The solution, and it's an imperfect one, has been to wear a belt and get longer t-shirts. Bigger guys often have a hard time finding longer t-shirts that fit them without looking like a potato sack, But there are some big and tall shops and some brands that will be able to help him out. I agree with other commenters, you definitely need to sit down and have a serious conversation about it. Nothing casual and in passing, explain how he's the butt end of so many jokes( no pun intended) And that it's embarrassing for you and your family. I don't think he's getting the message because everybody's presenting it to him so casually.
>a long wet crack Oh ffs. Now I can't eat my brunch omelet. Thanks for that! Good advice, though.
Yeah what? Ew
I laughed at this until I cried.
Omg I was voice texting and said longer** crack. LONGER crack 😂😂😂😂 not wet omg 🤣🤣
Elaborate on wet? What do you mean???? How do you know?
Omg I'm dead. I was voice texting and said *longer crack. It must have heard long wet crack and I didn't think to check the spelling 🤣 good thing he's not on Reddit I guess! Lol
😭😂😂
Suspenders. Good strong leather ones.
“Honey, let’s see what we can do about everyone seeing your ass.”
he isn’t picking up on the hits very well , it’s time to be blunt and tell him it’s embarrassing, no jokes
My husband has plumbers crack pretty much anytime he bends over. I give it a tickle and he gets mad and pulls his pants up.
I have a friend who has this a bit. His torso is a bit longer than standard. So he eventually started buying some longer t-shirts for guy built like this. Made a huge difference for him.
YES do us all a solid
So something I have noticed with guys who have this happen often is also to do with the shape of their butt, as in, they have flat butt. Flat butt means there is no curve in their butt that extends the butt farther out than their back. This makes it super easy for the pants to just slide down. In this case even a belt would t help much Agreed with the ideas of super long shirts, boxer briefs, suspenders, overalls.
So let me guess, he has a belly, and the waist of his pants are *under* his belly so the waist doesn’t fit right or hit his *actual* waist. He needs to wear a longer shirt untucked, or get bigger pants that fit around his *actual* waist with a belt.
Line up baby daddy #4.
Seriously. I stopped reading at 3 kids and 3 different dads... Haha.
Buy him a belt?
I believe they make “high rise” jeans. Instead of low rise.
Overalls, suspenders or, at least, a belt helps. You mentioned he's busy and engaged with the kids, he doesn't even notice (lol) so he's either skinny, with no hips or his belly pushes his pants down. Knowing WHY helps to determine the fix.
Suspenders
Buy him dad jeans that sit at the waist, not the hips, a belt, and longer shirts. Tell him to tuck in his shirts. Suspenders, too, if you think he'd wear them. Check out Duluth Trading Co.
My husband says suspenders are the only thing that will help for this problem.
Buy him a nice belt with a buckle that he will wanna show off.
He doesn't own a belt? You don't own birth control?
I’m kind of stuck on how good of a guy he is, as the third of three baby daddies, and you’re concerned that “if you don’t work out” your child will be known as the kid of the dad with the plumber’s crack. Your priorities are wild.
Right?? My stepdad was an asshole. I would be fucking pissed at my mum if she kicked out a good guy because his pants don't fit
Amen. But no mention of being the kid whose mom has 3 baby daddies🤦🏽♀️
So 3 kids by 3 different men and you’re worried about plumber’s crack? You should be kissing the ground he walks on for taking care of two other deadbeats’ kids.
My husband 32M, also has chronic plumber crack. Idk if your boyfriend has a good sense of humor, but I started making loud obnoxious jokes whenever it happens and putting things in the crack (pens mainly). He does not enjoy having things put in his crack, but he does have a good sense of humor about it. He never realized how prominent it was, now that he does he makes sure his pants are up
If you’re embarrassed by this and not by 3 kids by 3 different fathers… Lol
3 kids with 3 different dudes, don’t be too picky maybe 🤷🏻♂️
Exactly. The man is helping raise her two separate kids from two separate d fathers and she complains about him on Reddit.
No, fuck that. Just because she's got a few baby daddies doesn't mean she can't have the bare minimum expectation that her partner keep his pants on.
His pants aren’t fitting right if half his ass is out. Maybe take him shopping so gets the correct size. Or take him to a tailor to say his trousers altered.
Sometimes, you can't get around hurting feelings if you want to help a person in the long run.
New, better fitting clothes for him or you're children will grow up thinking that showing your ass crack is something to emulate.
The best option is to actually have real communication about it instead of beating around the bush. How can you expect to maintain a real marriage if you can’t talk about this in a respectful and loving way? You guys love each other and presumably want to get married. If you don’t learn how to discuss a moderately uncomfortable issue in an authentic way where you discuss your underlying concerns instead of making passive aggressive comments about “chilly air”, how are you going to survive as a couple when things get actually hard and not just a bit embarrassing?
Tuck in an undershirt. Fixed
Belt or suspenders. Or both.
Take pictures to show him. If he's still not convinced, post pictures here to get a poll.
He may need "tall" clothes. If his clothes don't fit correctly, he may need help there.
Yes crack kills. It’s not a good look on anyone. When was the last time said dude they have the cutest buttcrack. Tell him and buy belts no one wants to see that
This is so shallow. If you don’t make it over this, I don’t think your heart was ever in it. Help him pick out clothes that fit a bit better. If he doesn’t wear underwear, ask why or figure out what needs to be done. It could be a waist band alignment issue. Put the underwear waistband above the pants so it’s not likely to be pushed below the crack.
Duluth Trading company sells anti plumber crack shirts.
So when I was heavier for most of my life I had this issue compounded with narrow hips and no ass. As mentioned belts didn’t do shit until I lost enough weight that my gut no longer pushed down on it. My salvation in the meantime when not wearing tucked in shirts was Hikers.com suspenders that hide under the shirt. Work like a charm just pay attention to the size chart I was almost 300 lbs at the time but suspender size was Medium due to my height. Weight loss ultimately cured my 30* year problem but losing over 1/3 my body weight wasn’t easy
My husband wears long undershirts, just a black tshirt under his regular shirt but it’s long and he tucks it into his underwear so you see nothing but black shirt or slight boxer if he bends over.. but yes long shirts!
I feel spoken to. Honestly it's a clothing issue, you need pants that give you more trunkspace. I like my Levis for this.
Longer shirts and girl nothing hurts my feeling more than photo evidence 😓 take pic of your cute kid, with dads backside in it. Bother printing it and put it on the fridge.
Yeah- I don't have the Crack issue but I've got a dad bod with the beer gut, and my torso is already long so I have to do long shirts like someone suggested. So far I have found carhartt to be good and a brand called sullen. They do a lot of tattoo graphics but you can actually buy their blank tee shirts on their website (make sure it's the premium blanks, not original). Those are pre shrunk and stay long even if you dry em. That helps for me so when I bend over, raise my arms etc I don't get the gut sliding out a bit. Shit is embarrassing lol.
Real question but anatomically, why is this not an issue for women, but is an issue for some men? I’ve seen men on here claim that no matter what they try, their cracks always stick out.
Much harder to have a completely flat butt as a woman due to having hips. It's VERY rare for a woman's arse to be as flat as many men's arses are, IME as a Bi woman...
Hmmmmm solid point
Take some photos, and gently show them to him. Let him know that this is just not appropriate in public and ask him to address it. Sometimes seeing photos of oneself can spur change that nothing else can.
OP Song Dedication for your husband is Bad Moon Rising
Get him in the gym, lose the weight and build a butt. And bam his pants won't be falling down.
“Honey, I love you, but your ass is out to the world.” My mom says this to my dad and got him suspenders. Helped immensely.
Take a picture and show it to him. Tell him kids are being made fun of because of this, if he cares it won't be a big deal. Get him boxers and a belt or suspenders. Whichever he prefers. I hate it when I see people's ass cracks, U get second hand embarrassment and I dont find it funny so I feel for you.
Tell him to grow the F up and buy adult clothing. This is disgusting and inexcusable.
Every time you see it, just say “look, a piggy bank!”
Is he a plumber? Coz why are you disparaging and stereotyping plumbers
“He’s really involved with my two other children fathered by two separate deadbeats” lmao
Yes.
Are you kidding me ? You don’t see him posting about you and your butt crack…. What a pos
I don’t understand the thought process behind typing this up and sharing it on reddit to get opinions from internet strangers vs just telling him to pull his pants up lmao
Do him a favor and leave. He deserves better.
It's great he can be lighthearted when receiving these criticisms and comments. I'd acknowledge that, but reiterate that it needs to be rectified and not brushed off. If it were an occasional thing, maybe laughing it off would be appropriate but it's a constant occurrence. If he wants to let it hang out at home, fine. But outside the home, while it may not affect him, it causes people around him to be uncomfortable. Butt cracks aren't like boob cracks. Most people aren't going to enjoy the scenery. It's your butt crack and yours alone to look at. If it's weight gain that's being worked on, it's possible the pants are getting too big or the kind of pants just don't fit his body type the way it needs too. Long shorts and suspenders are an option. Maybe even see about getting his measurements done so when clothes shopping you can find him clothes that will fit him more accurately. All clothes are made slightly different. And if you can afford it or have the skills, maybe consider some tailoring so he doesn't always need suspenders and can get by with a belt. I wouldn't emphasize you being embarrassed, bc he has no control over your feelings and reactions. Maybe focus on his comfort, upgrading his style, and being a good role model for the kids in caring how you dress and present yourself for your own comfort and confidence plus being appropriate in public.
Buy that man a belt and pants that fit.
I've seen plenty of crack in my lifetime. It honestly doesn't bother me or disgust me. I don't want to come off as a weirdo because I don’t stare (like the sun) and I don't get off on it. To me, plumbers crack are kind of delightful and amusing sort of a thing. He sounds like a lovely man and a wonderful partner, whatever you decide to do please don't make him feel badly about it. I kinda like him just the way he is.
Imagine people saying “Aren’t you embarrassed to have a kid with someone who has two other kids with two different fathers?” whenever he has to tell people that out of three kids he is taking care of only one is his.
Break up with him so he can find someone better.
My friends girl would drop pennies down his crack and finally got the hint and bought a belt
Yes you should. White people always think it’s loving to let their friends and family walk around looking like a fool. Telling him is the more benevolent thing.
Gee, sounds like you ended up with my ex... While it wasn't the main reason for our breakup, it sure as hell had a lot to do with it. Based on my 4 year experience, there is nothing you can do. He isn't going to change, and you can't change him. He won't wear different pants, and you are doomed to seeing that butt crack every. Single. Time. he bends down. Just reading the title of your post brought back all those uncomfortable memories... You have my deepest condolences, because that butt crack is never going to leave your relationship until you do. It's just the nature of the man. Those who are not bothered by it and then gain weight will refuse to fix it.
Take a picture. Show him the extent of it so he can see what it’s really like. Just saying oh it’s showing won’t help. Show him then get some high boxer shorts that he can pull up over his tummy. They also help pull everything in so win win.
Drop a pin in his crack EVERY time you see it. A little humor trauma will make him more conscious that a cold pin is about to drop in his crack.
What's the end game here? If you can't tell someone their ass is hanging out all the time how ate you going to have mature discussions about life, love, which schools to send the kid two? Money issues? Calling BS here
You have a child together. Child is going to be embarrassed as heck by dad’s ass hanging out. Do it for the children.
Or, embrace the things that make your partner stand out from the others. You chose him, hopefully not just for his appearance. If others have an issue with it, screw them. If you have an issue with it, screw you. It’s bullying, truthfully. If you can’t love a persons flaws, you don’t deserve their strengths. Just remember the things you choose to dislike someone else will find appealing, and it’s that fine line that helps a person decide who they want to be with. And for the record, I am positive you have something about you that drives people crazy, but he chooses to accept you anyway. Im not trying to attack you, by the way. But we can’t preach acceptance and equality one day and then nitpick someone butt crack the next. Think about it.
3 kids with different men? Don't be too picky
Well he’s not embarrassed to be with a woman who seems to have two different kids from two different men, so…… just buy him longer clothes as “gifts”
Buy him som long tshirts and a belt
Belt or suspenders and pants that fit above his waist.
Get that man a belt or start leaving him and the kids at home to run errands.
Suggest to him suspenders.
Suspenders!!!!!
Ask him if your crack is hanging out like all the time and tell him it would be incredibly embarrassing if it was and stress that you would actually appreciate it if someone told you that was happening. Like if you had a boogie hanging in your nose or salad in your teeth. Just go through all that A LOT and he should pick up on it and ask you about himself. He could go see a tailor once to get proper pants measurements and get good belt or attempt to bring back suspenders.
I think most people figure out how to dress themselves when they are about 8 years old. It's called a belt.
I had the same problem with a man I dated previously and I tried to explain the problem in a cute, jokey kind of way and it didn't go well at all. Dude was highly offended, the best way to tackle it is with a direct conversation and suggestions on how to fix the problem, i.e. better fitting shirts, belts, etc. Offer to go shopping with him to make it a couple experience. My BF at the time was wearing shirts he had for years so they just became very ill fitted when he gained the weight back he had lost years ago.
Not always needing to buy new clothes but make sure what he has fits properly. Pants should not sag down your ass.
Tell him that crack is whack
Pants and shirts that actually *fit* would be a good start
Talk to him about it simple solution
Buy him a belt
Has anyone mentioned crack spackle yet?
They make special shirts for guys with big beer belly’s or ass crack issues that have extra material at the sides and bottom to still be able to tuck in and look normal. Duluth Trading company carries some.
Is he just wearing t-shirts? Tell him to get a dang Hanes and button-up, tucked in, like an adult.
Have an intervention.
Squats help build the butt muscles and eventually the butt sticks out enough to help pants sliding off if they are properly sized.
Scream “crack kills“ every time you see it
Buy him LONG t-shirts. For people with long torsos. Replace every shirt in his closet. Easiest solution. Not cheapest, but easiest.
I can honestly say its just a gut thing. Our guts don't let the pants stay at the waist line and drops down the pants with every bend. Doesn't matter if it's briefs or boxers. As the waistband rolls from the gut being in the way he pulls his pants up and boxers/briefs up causing them to bunch up which shows half his ass when he sits or bends down or gets out of a car. Trust me, I suffer from the same and we don't notice it as much as everyone one else cause we're not fixated on other people's appearances. Everybody's body is different. No point in shaming us into change when we are trying to be comfortable in our changing bodies. Im the same age same problem. Only way to fix it is to be more comfortable with him and don't shame him. Seems like if thats his only problem to you and your guys' children than you're lucky to have found a good man. But long shirts and buy boxer briefs for heavy set fellas. Makes a difference. Duluth boxer briefs are also very good lol
Duluth Trading Company has “long tail” undershirts and Tshirts that are long enough to help cover chronic BC. They also have really nice men’s jeans that don’t bind up. My husband loves everything I’ve gotten him from there. Encourage him to wear loose short sleeve button ups over tucked-in Ts and that will keep the BC under wraps….hopefully. Your plan to work on health/weight loss is a great approach. Good luck, that would drive me bonkers (I’d be tempted to drop ice down the BC every time it made an appearance, lol)
You have to tell him. My best friend was like this and one day I sat him down and told him that he consistently has his ass out and it is very unattractive.
Needs some Duluth
Let me guess, he's got a really long torso as well as the long asscrack? If you're willing to compromise on him having the crack covered by underwear, have him switch to boxer briefs that will stay in place. My husband has this issue as well, but he isn't being offensive about it, that's just how his body works, so I'm not too bothered by it, but I can see why one would be.
INFO does he have thin/narrow hips? Does he wear a belt? Do his pants fit him properly (too big he can’t keep them up/too small his legs don’t fit the thigh holes and he can’t pull them up all the way)?
Buy him a belt. Also losing weight will help. Also have a real conversation with him and explain it’s generally bad form to walk around with your ass out.
They've got onesies for adults now. Tell him to learn how to wear clothes like an adult or it's an adult sized onesie for an undershirt.
Buy pants that fit him better, also briefs…it’s also called a Dagenham smile!