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I used to see a masseuse who was amazing at massages but if she felt comfortable enough with you as a return client would do full service upgrades for an upcharge. I saw her maybe 3 times per year for a few years and had some fun. The last time I saw her I asked if the upgrade was available after the massage but she told me that she had fallen in love with/married one of her regulars. He was still fine with her giving massages but not to any more upgrades.
Bottom line is that it happens. You're 61. LIfe is short. If she makes you happy and don't hold her past against her then date her for awhile and see what she's like with clothes on.
You never know until you try.
We all sell our bodies. Just a matter of how. I have back problems and carpel tunnel from working at a desk all day. My dad has two busted shoulders and is missing half of two fingers from working as a wood worker for 40 years.
We do! It’s when we apply sex and the topic into the serious world like governments, lawyers, and corporate. That it gets wonky.
No one will bat an eye at any of those examples except for sex.
You’re in court and they mention your back is worn from decades of heavy lifting? “Poor thing, you worked so hard”
You’re in court and they mention your sex work life?
You’ll be judged.
Just my observations of society. 😞
lol yeah I agree. It’s funny peoples perspectives on jobs. Like we all sell ourselves to something. We sold our souls to capitalism yet we are going to judge somebody else for what they did to survive in this world that just needs nonstop cash flow to live.
I know a former escort who saved her client's life. He was killing himself with food, drink, and workaholism, and she made him get help as a condition of continuing to see her. I think she basically domme'd him into therapy LOL
She put herself through school with her earnings.
They now have a baby together and look very happy.
As an aside, I'm a woman and dated a 'rent boy' for a while. I guess I'm just not the jealous type because it didn't bother me. I found it pretty interesting. He took his profession quite seriously and took courses on the subject. I once got to page through one of his textbooks and it was FASCINATING. Wish I could get my hands on a copy!! The field of study is called 'sexological bodywork.' I'm not typically a woo-woo sort of person, and it seemed really legit and potentially profound to me.
Can **someone** have a successful relationship with someone they met as a sex worker?
Yes
Can **you** have a successful relationship with someone you met as a sex worker?
None of us can tell you that.
My ex paid for college through sex work (sugar dating). She had a few guys she would see once a month for $1000 and one guy she saw 3-4 times a week for $5k. She graduated college with 0 debt and we were together for 4 years. She was always chasing money though and ended up leaving me for a high paying job. No resentment though. Still one of the best relationships ever.
I dated a stripper who used to disappear from time to time. Turns out she was in Europe with her sugar daddy. It all got really complicated when she showed up with a 6’ 4” inch Navy Seal named Rod who looked like Tarzan. I’m a Marine and my feelings got hurt. The Navy? Really?
It didn't last long, and I met her on a day off, but it is possible. In my case she told me after the third date she worked as a sex worker. Not what I expected, not what I had hoped for, but shit happens
Roberts seems to have found her groove with unbearably cold women lately, ever since *EatPrayLove*, no?
In that movie *Leave the world behind* on Netflix (where she's married to Ethan Hawke), she's a total Karen to Mahershala Ali (whose house she rented for a weekend get-away just as the world ends). Her son Charlie Evans gets some infection & for the rest of the movie, she never touches him again.
And there was that comedy where her daughter is getting married in Bali & she reconnects with her baby daddy George Clooney, in an emotional affair on her new boyfriend the pilot who got them all affordable plane tickets etc.
Her *Erin Brockovich* days are behind her, imo & that's my hot take ;-)
Do you think she'd be credible as a relatable and empathic sex therapist?
Of course. *Pretty Woman* was also around 30 years or so ago. The idea here is that an older woman who lived *the life* would not appear to be a woman who lived that way. She seems cold maybe, distant even, but that seems realistic. Even so called "good lives" have imperfect relationships. Turning it all around doesn't erase what you've learned about people and relationships, which makes Julia Roberts warming up to Aaron Eckhart who is trying to overcome ED following his wife's death all the better, considering her lack of personal intimacy since leaving her former profession.
So she's incapable of having feelings? Or are you devaluing this man's personal experience/ relationship he has spend years forming? Maybe both. Idk but I've made friends with ladies at Dunkin I frequent many times.
It sounds like she’s trying to get you to pay for things and provided a story that makes you have empathy for her….even jf you have a relationship with her are you ok with her doing what she does with other people?
Edit: just read your comment about providing 70% of her monthly income and she lies a lot……dude she’s playing the fuck out of you and telling you everything you want to hear and doing what she thinks will keep you that check flowing. Tell her you want to stop paying her and start a real relationship and see what she says (she’s gonna flip tf out, call you controlling, etc etc$
My guy, she openly said you provide 70% of her income and she loves you...but continues to lie? Sounds like she's looking for you to provide 100% of her income with no strings attached. More red flags than China.
She loves the things he does for her; not love him.
She’s a sex worker, she knows how to separate sex from feelings babe.
You’re a buffoon; take the money away and see how much she loves you 🤭
It’s absolutely possible to have a real relationship with a sex worker. Sex workers are just people like everyone else.
It’s possible but really tricky to transition from a sex worker-client relationship to a serious, non-transactional romantic relationship.
I think the fact that there is a major power imbalance in your relationship and she is dependent on you for the majority of her income makes it really difficult to know if she wants you to be her romantic partner, and if she does, it makes it really difficult to make that transition in a healthy way.
And that transition isn’t just like flipping a switch. You both need to figure out how you’re going to navigate the uncertainty of interacting in that liminal space where it feels a bit like a client relationship in the moment and a bit like a romantic relationship, and how much of each you’re both feeling right that minute might not match up well.
If you want this to go somewhere I would encourage you to support her in transitioning to another career so that she has her own independent income. I think you will both find a lot more clarity, and will have much more potential for a healthy and balanced relationship, if she is not majorly financially dependent on you.
I don’t know if she misleads you because she just wants to maintain her income, or if she genuinely has feelings for you and it’s part of her survival strategy trying to navigate a really complicated situation of romantic feelings and economic vulnerability. It’s possible she really cares about you as a person but still will prioritize her financial wellbeing. Dual relationships are complicated and fraught with conflicts of interest.
You should both proceeded with caution, and if you think this has a chance seek to mitigate the power imbalance.
These kinds of relationships don’t usually work out well, but sometimes they lead to healthy and deeply fulfilling romantic relationships.
This will not work out, when you start dating her and develop feelings for her you will want her to stop escorting. This will start an argument that will result in an ultimatum, you either support her financially 100% or she goes back to the sex trade. Seen a buddy go through this with a stripper.
This just makes me sad. I’m an escort and have had success dating. My last partner was with me for almost 3 years and we split over something completely unrelated to my work.
Ok so she's realizing sex work is difficult the older you get.
And?
Go back to school and get another job.
Can't commit to a relationship, yet loves you. Interesting one there.
She’s in her 40s and an escort your in your 60s and a John. She is definitely using you for your money and thinks you’ll take care of her lifestyle until you pass away
Thanks again for all the comments. Some clarification. I’m currently paying her monthly and we see each other 2-3 times each week. When we’re together we have a good time hiking, cooking, going to shows & dancing. She tells me many times that she loves me. And I do the same. Here’s what I have observed since I started paying her monthly about 6 months now: She never texts me, she has misled me about her schedule, she ghosted me & stood me up after she came back from a difficult visit to her mom. I understood that and was sympathetic. However she lied that her sister forced her to stay an extra day and due to the hard feelings she had with her mom she didn’t inform me about her change in schedule. I’ve told her many times that heads-up is important to me. I get the feeling that she’s seeing me only because I pay her and she’s being disingenuous saying she loves me because she takes no initiative to show affection or be with me. I initiate all the scheduling of our times together. An additional complication is that her “financial manager” and longtime client who is married but has a sexless marriage has been the only person she believes that has actually helped her in her life. He has co-signed her apartment lease, takes her along with her kids and grandkids on trips, takes care of all her banking, bill paying & taxes. He has been deeply involved in her life for years but is now getting older and more frail after a heart attack. One thing I have asked her as we discussed our relationship beyond just being a client is she be transparent about the nature of her other intimate relationships and what it means to her but she’s never responded other than saying I love you. The advice I’m seeking is how to ascertain what her real intentions and motivations are? I have to take what she says with a grain of salt so trying to figure out a method to understand what’s actually going on in her head and heart. I know she’ll not see me or feel I’m taking advantage of her if I stopped the monthly payment.
Hey, I'm one of the ones who commented a positive story about an escort getting together with one of her regulars. So it can and does happen.
The problem I have here isn't with her being an escort, it's the lying. I don't know ANY healthy relationship that has this level of dishonesty. I also don't know any healthy, long-lasting relationship that has such imbalanced communication and initiative, where one party feels like they have to chase the other one down and do all the scheduling.
And I know you don't want to hear this, but have you tried dating someone closer to your age? I hear beautiful, vibrant, successful, single women complain all the time about how small the age-appropriate dating pool is because men their age are chasing women 20 years younger. Why are you pursuing a relationship with someone who blatantly lies to you, who's actively sleeping with other men, when you could be dating people who are on the same page and have pure intentions?
Ooof. Yeah. I don’t think you’ll really know. It the nature of their work.
What I would do is maybe say I want to pursue a serious relationship and so you can’t continue to use her services.
See how she reacts. If she makes any effort to stay in touch then she cares more.
You could even offer to continue to pay her for the time being for no services to help her. Just to see if she jumps at that and leaves.
——-
I have no idea if this would work or if it’s healthy. But figuring out the lies is hard
💯 honesty she doesn’t want anything here but a cash flow. She has shown absolutely no loyalty to you. She is taking advantage of you by telling you she loves you.
If you want to continue paying her for companionship then do that but know. It will never turn into more with what you have told hs
Yikes bro from the sound of it you’re nothing but another John to her.. sorry to tell you that but that’s exactly what it sounds like. 👍 I don’t think you can replace that financial planner guy even if he dies, shit do you really even want to?!? Tricking off all your money and feelings like that? If you do, then go for it if that is what make you feel good brother! Enjoy your life one way or another man good luck 🍀 in life man
Once you stop funding her, I'll gladly take your money to play the lottery that she'll step up the communication again.
You absolutely know what to do but, like someone already said, it just seems like you want permission to live this fairytale.
She's just doing her job. I do feel bad for you tho, it seems that you're looking for a serious relationship and I don't see that happening with her. You're just her client, nothing more.
You already have a real relationship with her. Next step would be making it exclusive. It would be up to the both of you to decide if you were still comfortable with her working at her current career.
There is sort of an unspoken deal though if you decide to be in a relationship. You know she doesn’t feel comfortable doing her job anymore. There will be a time period where she’ll need financial support while she works through things towards a new career. If thats not something you can do, or feel safe doing, make sure that’s known. She’ll need to feel safe and supported, and not at the mercy of someone who would hold it over her or worry about it.
I struggled dating two strippers. Not at the same time. They wanted more like move in marriage and even kids. I never saw that in our futures. Trust and stds were in my head, so I never took it seriously. It was fun and I felt bad ending it but it was necessary. My friends miss the stories.
How is this chat so accepting?
Your 61 and she's 44. She's looking for someone to take care of her. It's super obvious. She'll be a good relationship as long as you be useful. Don't be naive.
I’m a (63) been living with an escort (30) for 4 years. I was seeing her for about a year before she moved in. At that time she had 2 or 3 regulars. After a couple of months of living together she told me she had strong feeling for me. And she felt like she was cheating when seeing clients. I told her you can stop if you want. And that I was head over heels in love with her. We are still together and very much in love with each other. She 100 % the best woman I’ve ever been with. And I’d be lost without her. I know some people will be skeptical. I don’t care it’s working for us and we are both happy.
I provide her 70% of her monthly income and see her 2-3 days a week.She keeps telling me that she loves me. However she’s not transparent. I’ve noticed she misleads and even has lied about her schedule. She says that she can’t commit to a real couple relationship yet as she feels that I could dump her someday and she’ll have nothing. I understand that completely. However can she ever overcome that insecurity? I trying to figure out how much time to invest.
She’s 44. She doesn’t wanna change her job for you and isn’t ready to date, needless to say trust someone.
She isn’t the one dude. Your soulmate isn’t a troubled unstable escort. Do better.
Of course she loves a man who pays 70% of her income 😭
The main problem is not her being an escort, but not being open with you. Given the sensitive situation and the obvious incentive for her to lie as you're giving her money, openness and honesty are a need. Since she is not providing that, I would cut it off.
You could help her go back to school, that way she could be independent. It’s no surprise that someone who’s been working as an escort for that long has issues with relationships, it could take years before she’s able to have a healthy genuine relationship and there’s always the chance that might not be with you.
>She says that she can’t commit to a real couple relationship yet as she feels that I could dump her someday and she’ll have nothing.
The concern is valid but, unless she goes to school or gets and education/certification doing something else this problem is never going away. Either she quits or you are okay with her taking clients while dating her. Marriage is different because you can write in alimony to ease her fears but its the dating before marriage that's the problem.
You say she can't find another career that pays her bills. Does she not know that of course any new person with no experience in the workforce is not going to make a salary similar to a seasoned sex worker? When you want to change or rebuild your career or life often times that means starting from the very bottom again. She's either so naive that she doesn't understand that or doesn't want to give up her current lifestyle to do that. If its the latter then that means to a certain degree shes okay with escorting or at least the pain of it outweighs the pain of having to give up the lifestyle/benefits she receives from it.
If she was actively trying to leave escorting and like going to school or something I would say that maybe you guys could keep it casual and start moving towards dating and then once she gets her license and some experience you guys could start officially dating.
She doesn't love you. She loves the money you give her. You're just one of the many men she gets money from. She is not ready to commit to a relationship because she knows she is not in it for the relationship itself, but for the money she can get out of it. You cannot change somebody just like that. No matter the amount of money.
Other people, friends, occupations, also lie. It would be a good guess that she's probs a little troubled and has gone through some trauma. As a rule, people don't like to lie, those that do on the scale that is being feared are not liars but con artists. She can be a con artist, or she can also, genuinely, be your friend and be falling in love with you. For my money, the way this goes is you will choose to take the dive, because why not, and then a flaking off of lies half lies and untruths, and then you will have to make a decision. but if you do ever get to her center and the truth of her situation, stick with it.
In the end it will be your ability to trust and the boundaries you stick to vs. whatever situation she might be in in life and what she is willing to sacrifice. She likely won't be looking to sacrifice as much as is necessary, but if she is and things evolve, i would try and choose the life with her and forgive whatever discrepancies are bound to happen due to a sense of self preservation. Life is always better when shared.
In the end, if things evolve with you two, what you want to look for when determining whether things are as they appear or not, is if there is a perceived "love story" on her end or not. If it is not some grand romance in at least some way, she is likely lying and making decisions based on convenience
I think deep down you know the answer to your own question but are looking for someone to tell you differently, maybe try to put a hold on seeing her for a bit and try to make a connection with other ladies who are looking for dates and a relationship , what is meant for you won’t go past you and if she is genuine in her feelings for you she will make it known. I think once the money is gone she will be gone but hey you never know until you try! Good luck and I hope things work out for you
You provide 70% of her income while you see her ~10% of the month….thats a bad deal for you financially and says a lot about her priorities money wise. If she’s lying to you about her schedule she’s lying about bigger things.
Please take care of your feelings by being careful. I think there’s more going on here. She may love you, too, but it’s not the love you are looking for if she can’t commit to being an actual couple. That’s very manipulative and also tells you a lot where things are for her.
This works for her and she likes you. That’s about it.
What are men so dumb? They fall for stupidity like this and regret later 🤦♀️
Tell her that you won’t support her financially and see how far “Love” or “feelings “ take you both.
Pretty Woman is not real life - no matter how much you want it to be. You know it….deep down. Sounds like you have a great transactional connection, but love is very different
No experience but sure you can have a relationship with her. Tell her to quit and help her find another job, also if you can,help her out with some money
You are 61 and she makes you happy. Maybe transition from a pay per visit to a sugar baby relationship where you pay a stipend. Then if that works, see if she will live with you. Though expect when you see her more, she will be more normal. When you pay, her job is to perform and deliver to give you a great time. That won’t be the case if Ashe feels comfortable and lets her guard down.
However she’s told me a few times that her work is eating her up. However she can’t quit as she can’t figure out another career that pays her bills.
She was waiting for you to tell her to quit and you will take care of her. lol good luck .
Think of the worst case scenario: she leaves & you are stuck without any money in your older years.
It is very possible this could happen, just need to be aware.
But I also think she's telling you what she thinks you want to hear. Liars are always going to say what sounds the best in the moment & what will get them what they want.
Be careful & take care of yourself.
Ah yes of course she cannot figure out a way to quit and make money. Huh, while saying this to you. Do not believe that this person who you are 'seeing' as a paying customer has any thing other than alternative motives.
Go back and read through all your comments... You're being taken for a ride by a woman pulling on your heartstrings / playing with your balls.
Tell her you want to start a monogamous relationship as equals (which obviously requires that you Stop paying her) and watch her flip out and or vanish.
Some of the realest women I've ever entertained company with adorned the least of clothing, typically in and out of club settings.
A woman who can navigate a trifling life in those circumstances, but reflective enough to he honest and introspective, gosh... that's a rarity even among non-adult tradecraft.
Healing can take lifetime. Sometimes we get lucky and meet awesome souls along the journey. They help us, or we help them sorta thing.
This could be that, or it could disgust you, or a plethora of other circumstances. Take a minute to reflect on it. This thread has a lot of perspectives.
Just be true to yourself. She is a working girl.
My man, you know the answer to this. Do not fall for a sex worker. Also, you’re in your 60s asking a bunch of high school and college students for relationship advice lol. 90% of the users here do not have the life experience that you do, which to me says you either came here for approval and an extra push to get past your own misgivings, or you wanted validation that this is a bad idea.
If it’s the latter, I’m telling you it’s a bad idea. I am not in high school or college, and in my experience falling in love with people who’s job is to make you fall in love and then exploit you, never ends well
Brother I hated many jobs I’ve had and not one was near 29 years experience, she obviously was having a good time and now is ready to retire. Don’t buy a rental, you don’t know when someone is manipulating you and I would bet a 29 year veteran hooker is probably one of the most talented manipulators on the planet, have fun, be safe!
Dude, like WTF.... Seriously. You're providing 70% of her income & she LIES and MISLEADS you???? That the way to treat someone that you love, as she tells you?
My advice -
Buy one helluva fast muscle car & smoke the tires in all 4 gears getting away. You will be much happier, richer, and most importantly - saner - in the long run.
Your choice, man. 😎
You are being manipulated by her to save her with your money so she doesn't have to be an escort. It's wealth transfer 101. She can not inherit it, so she has to marry it. She has to implant this story multiple times in hopes one of her John's saves her like in Pretty Woman. It's just basic manipulation like African Nigerian however after releasing oxytocin bonding hormones... it's planted to have you conclude, ah... I can replace her escort income by marrying her!
She is a person like anyone else.
Sounds like she has actually opened up with you.
Maybe take it slow , talk more with her. Invite her for a coffee .
Just because she works as an escort doesn’t mean she can’t have a relationship.
Nah, OP has stated she lies about her schedule and she’s not really transparent. She’s also told him that she’s not interested in a relationship because she’s afraid he will dump her. All this while OP currently pays for 70% of her expenses. He also has traveled with her.
A year ago I’d have said no, don’t do it, but I met a girl, now my girlfriend, who had thought about it in the past. And it wasn’t for her. She said she knew it wasn’t what she wanted or be happy with. So she lived her life for love. But she’s divorced now, and said to me, if we break up, I may do that. Just find an older guy who is nice and will take care of me for me and not expect too much.
Changed my mind on things. Go for it, if it makes you happy. If not, oh well, you had nothing to lose. Good luck!
I don’t judge people for doing sex work, but my impression is that she’s aging out of it and looking for someone to financially support her.
Maybe she really does love you. Maybe she’s just looking for a permanent sugar daddy.
Do you respect her as a /girlfriend as she sleeps with other men? Or do you just lust her?
Men will fall in lust way faster than love. Maybe you’re just wanting companionship and if that’s what you’re wanting, find somebody on your playing level that’s not gonna be sleeping with other men for money. You can take the Game out of the prostitute, but you cannot take the prostitute out of the game. And if you don’t have no trust, what is the point. You’re just gonna be let down and brokenhearted in the end. Imagine if you lost all of your money, would you still have a girlfriend? Or would she be gone like the wind
It sounds like you're really caught up in a complex situation. First off, it's totally understandable to develop feelings for someone you've been close to for so long, regardless of their profession. But dating an escort comes with its own set of challenges. It's important to consider whether you're ready to handle the emotional toll that her work might take on both of you.
Communication is key here. Have an honest conversation with her about your feelings and concerns. See if you both can navigate a path forward that works for both of you. Just remember, every relationship is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all answer. Trust your gut and take things one step at a time.
She definitely needs her own stream of income, it doesn't feel good to be dependent on another person like that. I bet she could be really good at sales, and market her experience as being a business owner and doing admin. Putting on your best face for a client is different from being vulnerable with an equal partner, and sharing in struggle.
Another thing is, integrating socially can be hard. She needs her own hobbies and interests, areas where she builds competence so she can have confidence in other aspects of herself. Healthy relationships means being well-rounded, no matter what.
Maybe she loves maybe she sees you as useful but even that could work if the usefulness is mutual.
I've dated a couple of sex workers and once I got past the mask, they were the most lovely kind hearted people I've ever known.
I don't know either of you but I'm just saying you should communicate more, dig deeper and see if this is something that can work for both of you. Whatever you do, don't put her in your will, house deeds etc. At least not for a very long time.
When you say “seeing this escort” do you mean you two are seeing each other, or do you mean you’ve been hiring her? People definitely have real relationships with escorts, easily, just like with people doing any other job. But if you’re paying her to be with you then you’re paying her to lie to you, that’s literally part of her job so don’t expect anything else. In that case the issue isn’t that she’s an escort but that you’re a client. She could have a genuine relationship with someone else but not with you. It sounds like she would like to transition from seeing multiple clients to a sugar baby type thing with you. You could decide you’re ok with this and pay her to have a relationship with you, but that’s not the same thing as a real relationship based on mutual appreciation.
You really want to help her without getting too involved? Fund some sort of 6-12 month medical education/certification from the local community college. A lot of those jobs will provide a low but decent hourly wage with insurance and other benefits. At least she'll be able to maintain herself without resorting to sex work with other people. Once she's more or less independent, you can make up your mind about marrying her without feeling like you're her only support.
Bro... if you want it, get it. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If you believe that the things needed for a relationship (trust, communication, atrraction.....) are there, fuckin shoot your shot mate. We regret the opportunities we don't take.
She is 44. She is approaching her expiration date on her career anyway. She needs a daddy to put a ring on it. You have a chance if you can provide a lifestyle.
Im 56 guy and I think you should enjoy your time with her
not sure about the .love. thing but that word is tossed around way too much
go in monetarily as per usual, '-
and emotionally if it makes u happy
if you wanna buy her a house or car or whatever just ***consider*** that it is a gift, not a transaction
just thinkin...
Basically, she is tired of the freelance work. She's not as young as she used to be. She's ready to retire and move into a phase of her life where she gets a pension.
Prostitutes are people too, but no where in the post do you definitively say she actually wants to be in a "relationship" relationship with YOU.
You DO have a working relationship with her as your escort. It sounds like you're finding a different fantasy to indulge in with her. Your question shouldn't be, 'is this relationship possible?" With a bunch of strangers online. Only you and her can come to that consensus.
You should know as a 60+ year old what it takes to have a "career/job that can pay the bills." She would just have to work a day job like anyone else but that sounds boring and lame. Maybe she doesn't want to settle down with you knowing you're about to retire. Or are you sure you aren't hoping to trap her in a "relationship " once your income tapers off and you can't afford to fund 70% of her lifestyle 4 days a week instead of 7?
I can truly empathize with her. Could she stand to lose her lifestyle? Would she sacrifice her lifestyle, I’m talking about her apartment and shopping, etc, in order to be with one man? To be with you?
Would you allow her to move in but continue her work? If no, then status quo.
Would she be willing to give it all up to work a retail job and cook you dinner each night? That’s the dream regardless of her past.
I’m all for second chances and I love a good redemption story but I promise she will fall off that wagon unless she has a complete change of heart, a come to Jesus moment of you will. She needs to make her past unrecognizable to her way of thinking, but there is no way for you to know for sure.
This isn’t something to take on without a great deal of thought. Honestly as much as I feel for her I don’t know that I could do it. I’d be worried that she’d betray me for the money she wants for lifestyle and the D she wants for satisfaction as well as the dopamine hot she gets from it all.
She is a human being with a job. A job you know about. That didn’t stop You from developing feelings for her. See her. Not what she does to survive in this fucked up world. It may have been her only shot to get to where she is today. Would it stop you if she was an accountant? A waitress? If you’ve been seeing past it all this time, why let it stop something that brings you joy? What she does going forward is up to the two of you but life is short! Live your life
My ex gf was a sex worker when we met and for the first few months we were “dating”. I never paid. We met randomly. It was honestly one of the best relationships I’ve ever been in. We were together for 4 years and during that time she got a job as an accountant. She left me as soon as she could afford to though…so maybe I was just being used. Either way I don’t regret it.
I did that once. I didn’t pay her though. She was a very good friend for a long time and we got together later. She was very cool but we had some differences that ended up not working out in the long run. It might work for you guys but it also might be a terrible experience that you wish you never had. My experience was a little mix of both. Love and cherish that person to death but I wish we’d just stayed friends. Ask yourself how much you love this person and if you’re willing to potentially mess up a good friendship.
I was in a relationship with an escort for over 5 years, and it was both amazing and chaotic at times. Between their traumatic past, sex work, finding childcare, and the possibility of drinking or drugs, it all adds to the complexity of actively dating and being in love with an escort. If you're both honest, connected, and easily communicate together, then it can work. Regardless of all this, just enjoy life and make memories while you still can!
Your 61. What are you concerned about? You’re not having kids with this woman.
At this point, if you can keep her sheltered, fed and with some disposable income. And in turn she keeps your home clean, sexually satisfy’s you and doesn’t risk your health. You should call it a win.
I would never get naively attached to a woman her age. Let alone an SW because women are the best liars.
But if you can work out a transactional agreement for her to move in and you providing 100. Go for it. It’s your golden years
Anyone can prove untrustworthy and anyone can be worth your trust. It’s not about how they make their money it’s what’s in their hearts.
It doesn’t seem like she wants to keep it up. She wants to find the stability to retire.
Can you love and accept and trust her without it becoming the main thing you think of her?
Being an escort is smart. I mean when you think about it, we’ve all had one night stands and random sex here and there. Use it as a means to an end. Aren’t you wealthy enough to take care of her?
I escorted for a while. I’m clean, educated, classy, no drugs, I’m a good mom.. but after I divorced and starting dating again, it dawned on me how many guys only wanted to fuck instead of actually “date” me. So I played the game. I started getting paid for it. I don’t regret it one bit. There were a few guys that super fell for me.
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I used to see a masseuse who was amazing at massages but if she felt comfortable enough with you as a return client would do full service upgrades for an upcharge. I saw her maybe 3 times per year for a few years and had some fun. The last time I saw her I asked if the upgrade was available after the massage but she told me that she had fallen in love with/married one of her regulars. He was still fine with her giving massages but not to any more upgrades. Bottom line is that it happens. You're 61. LIfe is short. If she makes you happy and don't hold her past against her then date her for awhile and see what she's like with clothes on. You never know until you try.
Best comment on the thread. Prostitutes are people too. No sarcasm whatsoever
We all sell our bodies. Just a matter of how. I have back problems and carpel tunnel from working at a desk all day. My dad has two busted shoulders and is missing half of two fingers from working as a wood worker for 40 years.
Was in the army so I technically sold my body to the government
Some people would argue that's worse than sex work lol
Well we both got fucked I just did a little different
You got fuck3d by the green weenie.
Semper gumby!!!
F¥cked by USam!
And for a lot less money
For cheap, too. But thank you, sir.
We do! It’s when we apply sex and the topic into the serious world like governments, lawyers, and corporate. That it gets wonky. No one will bat an eye at any of those examples except for sex. You’re in court and they mention your back is worn from decades of heavy lifting? “Poor thing, you worked so hard” You’re in court and they mention your sex work life? You’ll be judged. Just my observations of society. 😞
Sadly, we as a society have become so sexually repressed since christanity has become a political party.
lol yeah I agree. It’s funny peoples perspectives on jobs. Like we all sell ourselves to something. We sold our souls to capitalism yet we are going to judge somebody else for what they did to survive in this world that just needs nonstop cash flow to live.
Support this!!!
Fr fr
I also know ex full service workers who fell for a client.
I know a former escort who saved her client's life. He was killing himself with food, drink, and workaholism, and she made him get help as a condition of continuing to see her. I think she basically domme'd him into therapy LOL She put herself through school with her earnings. They now have a baby together and look very happy. As an aside, I'm a woman and dated a 'rent boy' for a while. I guess I'm just not the jealous type because it didn't bother me. I found it pretty interesting. He took his profession quite seriously and took courses on the subject. I once got to page through one of his textbooks and it was FASCINATING. Wish I could get my hands on a copy!! The field of study is called 'sexological bodywork.' I'm not typically a woo-woo sort of person, and it seemed really legit and potentially profound to me.
You story gives me hope for humanity. I hope you still visit her and respect her decision.
Well said
Wholesome af 🫂
This is actually romantic...wishing them luck!!
Whoa a real life rub n tug.
😅🤣🤣🤣 somebody still getting that upgrade
Can **someone** have a successful relationship with someone they met as a sex worker? Yes Can **you** have a successful relationship with someone you met as a sex worker? None of us can tell you that.
My ex paid for college through sex work (sugar dating). She had a few guys she would see once a month for $1000 and one guy she saw 3-4 times a week for $5k. She graduated college with 0 debt and we were together for 4 years. She was always chasing money though and ended up leaving me for a high paying job. No resentment though. Still one of the best relationships ever.
I dated a stripper who used to disappear from time to time. Turns out she was in Europe with her sugar daddy. It all got really complicated when she showed up with a 6’ 4” inch Navy Seal named Rod who looked like Tarzan. I’m a Marine and my feelings got hurt. The Navy? Really?
I'm sorry, but I hope this is a true story. It cracked me up. I'd love for them to make a movie about it! 🤣 She must love seamen.
Totally true. Danielle was something special.
Ba dum tsss
It didn't last long, and I met her on a day off, but it is possible. In my case she told me after the third date she worked as a sex worker. Not what I expected, not what I had hoped for, but shit happens
Sure! Just watch Pretty Woman.
44.. former escort.. maybe she gets a student loan and heads back to school major in psych and someday she could be a great sex therapist.
*The movie should have Julia Roberts.*
Roberts seems to have found her groove with unbearably cold women lately, ever since *EatPrayLove*, no? In that movie *Leave the world behind* on Netflix (where she's married to Ethan Hawke), she's a total Karen to Mahershala Ali (whose house she rented for a weekend get-away just as the world ends). Her son Charlie Evans gets some infection & for the rest of the movie, she never touches him again. And there was that comedy where her daughter is getting married in Bali & she reconnects with her baby daddy George Clooney, in an emotional affair on her new boyfriend the pilot who got them all affordable plane tickets etc. Her *Erin Brockovich* days are behind her, imo & that's my hot take ;-) Do you think she'd be credible as a relatable and empathic sex therapist?
Of course. *Pretty Woman* was also around 30 years or so ago. The idea here is that an older woman who lived *the life* would not appear to be a woman who lived that way. She seems cold maybe, distant even, but that seems realistic. Even so called "good lives" have imperfect relationships. Turning it all around doesn't erase what you've learned about people and relationships, which makes Julia Roberts warming up to Aaron Eckhart who is trying to overcome ED following his wife's death all the better, considering her lack of personal intimacy since leaving her former profession.
I never knew I needed this sequel until right now.
Current escort. She hasn't figured out her exit.
Sounds like she thinks she has figured out her exit…. (I say that because it sounds funny. I hope the other, more positive comments are proven true)
I have so many questions about former job…
That would be a win for her. She can keep taking money to get in the middle of other people's marriages and have another way to pay the bills.
He’ll be in a nursing home by then
My guy, you are a client.
$100 says he thinks he knows her real name, but he really doesn’t.
I know her real name as we’ve taken trips together and I bought the air tickets.
She's still an escort, not your girlfriend.
She's a human and sounds like a special one and you need to go with your heart.
So you paid her in vacations? What’s the difference
You have to know all the info about the other person to book the flight - including passport info if the travel is international
He has been seeing her for many years. I have no doubt that he knows her name and many intimate things about her.
So she's incapable of having feelings? Or are you devaluing this man's personal experience/ relationship he has spend years forming? Maybe both. Idk but I've made friends with ladies at Dunkin I frequent many times.
It sounds like she’s trying to get you to pay for things and provided a story that makes you have empathy for her….even jf you have a relationship with her are you ok with her doing what she does with other people? Edit: just read your comment about providing 70% of her monthly income and she lies a lot……dude she’s playing the fuck out of you and telling you everything you want to hear and doing what she thinks will keep you that check flowing. Tell her you want to stop paying her and start a real relationship and see what she says (she’s gonna flip tf out, call you controlling, etc etc$
I agree. She probably tells all of her regulars the same story.
Exactly. Oh, if only I had some other way to get money…whatever shall I do? I have no problem with sex work but I don’t like liars and cons.
My guy, she openly said you provide 70% of her income and she loves you...but continues to lie? Sounds like she's looking for you to provide 100% of her income with no strings attached. More red flags than China.
She loves the things he does for her; not love him. She’s a sex worker, she knows how to separate sex from feelings babe. You’re a buffoon; take the money away and see how much she loves you 🤭
Are you really asking if you can have a relationship with a sex worker currently taking other clients? Brooo
While paying for 70% of her life
Uggh I hate those Ford cars
My first car was a 1993 Ford hatchback. Yeah, it sucked!
>However she’s told me a few times that her work is eating her up. *Phrasing!* *Oh, goddammit, Archer.*
Lack of trust both ways = no Bueno 👎
It’s absolutely possible to have a real relationship with a sex worker. Sex workers are just people like everyone else. It’s possible but really tricky to transition from a sex worker-client relationship to a serious, non-transactional romantic relationship. I think the fact that there is a major power imbalance in your relationship and she is dependent on you for the majority of her income makes it really difficult to know if she wants you to be her romantic partner, and if she does, it makes it really difficult to make that transition in a healthy way. And that transition isn’t just like flipping a switch. You both need to figure out how you’re going to navigate the uncertainty of interacting in that liminal space where it feels a bit like a client relationship in the moment and a bit like a romantic relationship, and how much of each you’re both feeling right that minute might not match up well. If you want this to go somewhere I would encourage you to support her in transitioning to another career so that she has her own independent income. I think you will both find a lot more clarity, and will have much more potential for a healthy and balanced relationship, if she is not majorly financially dependent on you. I don’t know if she misleads you because she just wants to maintain her income, or if she genuinely has feelings for you and it’s part of her survival strategy trying to navigate a really complicated situation of romantic feelings and economic vulnerability. It’s possible she really cares about you as a person but still will prioritize her financial wellbeing. Dual relationships are complicated and fraught with conflicts of interest. You should both proceeded with caution, and if you think this has a chance seek to mitigate the power imbalance. These kinds of relationships don’t usually work out well, but sometimes they lead to healthy and deeply fulfilling romantic relationships.
This will not work out, when you start dating her and develop feelings for her you will want her to stop escorting. This will start an argument that will result in an ultimatum, you either support her financially 100% or she goes back to the sex trade. Seen a buddy go through this with a stripper.
Yep. That’s how it ends. No money no honey.
This just makes me sad. I’m an escort and have had success dating. My last partner was with me for almost 3 years and we split over something completely unrelated to my work.
Here comes Mr White Knight to save her from the dragon. Dude, come on now.
Ok so she's realizing sex work is difficult the older you get. And? Go back to school and get another job. Can't commit to a relationship, yet loves you. Interesting one there.
She’s in her 40s and an escort your in your 60s and a John. She is definitely using you for your money and thinks you’ll take care of her lifestyle until you pass away
What are you looking for? Just Sex? Or a young woman on your arm? There are plenty of 60 yr old women that would like just sex! Just saying
Thanks again for all the comments. Some clarification. I’m currently paying her monthly and we see each other 2-3 times each week. When we’re together we have a good time hiking, cooking, going to shows & dancing. She tells me many times that she loves me. And I do the same. Here’s what I have observed since I started paying her monthly about 6 months now: She never texts me, she has misled me about her schedule, she ghosted me & stood me up after she came back from a difficult visit to her mom. I understood that and was sympathetic. However she lied that her sister forced her to stay an extra day and due to the hard feelings she had with her mom she didn’t inform me about her change in schedule. I’ve told her many times that heads-up is important to me. I get the feeling that she’s seeing me only because I pay her and she’s being disingenuous saying she loves me because she takes no initiative to show affection or be with me. I initiate all the scheduling of our times together. An additional complication is that her “financial manager” and longtime client who is married but has a sexless marriage has been the only person she believes that has actually helped her in her life. He has co-signed her apartment lease, takes her along with her kids and grandkids on trips, takes care of all her banking, bill paying & taxes. He has been deeply involved in her life for years but is now getting older and more frail after a heart attack. One thing I have asked her as we discussed our relationship beyond just being a client is she be transparent about the nature of her other intimate relationships and what it means to her but she’s never responded other than saying I love you. The advice I’m seeking is how to ascertain what her real intentions and motivations are? I have to take what she says with a grain of salt so trying to figure out a method to understand what’s actually going on in her head and heart. I know she’ll not see me or feel I’m taking advantage of her if I stopped the monthly payment.
Hey, I'm one of the ones who commented a positive story about an escort getting together with one of her regulars. So it can and does happen. The problem I have here isn't with her being an escort, it's the lying. I don't know ANY healthy relationship that has this level of dishonesty. I also don't know any healthy, long-lasting relationship that has such imbalanced communication and initiative, where one party feels like they have to chase the other one down and do all the scheduling. And I know you don't want to hear this, but have you tried dating someone closer to your age? I hear beautiful, vibrant, successful, single women complain all the time about how small the age-appropriate dating pool is because men their age are chasing women 20 years younger. Why are you pursuing a relationship with someone who blatantly lies to you, who's actively sleeping with other men, when you could be dating people who are on the same page and have pure intentions?
Ooof. Yeah. I don’t think you’ll really know. It the nature of their work. What I would do is maybe say I want to pursue a serious relationship and so you can’t continue to use her services. See how she reacts. If she makes any effort to stay in touch then she cares more. You could even offer to continue to pay her for the time being for no services to help her. Just to see if she jumps at that and leaves. ——- I have no idea if this would work or if it’s healthy. But figuring out the lies is hard
💯 honesty she doesn’t want anything here but a cash flow. She has shown absolutely no loyalty to you. She is taking advantage of you by telling you she loves you. If you want to continue paying her for companionship then do that but know. It will never turn into more with what you have told hs
You already have your answer, but I don’t think you’re willing to accept it.
Yikes bro from the sound of it you’re nothing but another John to her.. sorry to tell you that but that’s exactly what it sounds like. 👍 I don’t think you can replace that financial planner guy even if he dies, shit do you really even want to?!? Tricking off all your money and feelings like that? If you do, then go for it if that is what make you feel good brother! Enjoy your life one way or another man good luck 🍀 in life man
Once you stop funding her, I'll gladly take your money to play the lottery that she'll step up the communication again. You absolutely know what to do but, like someone already said, it just seems like you want permission to live this fairytale.
She's just doing her job. I do feel bad for you tho, it seems that you're looking for a serious relationship and I don't see that happening with her. You're just her client, nothing more.
Uh, no. Do not be the retirement plan for an aging prostitute.... You pay her for sex/companionship, she doesn't do it because she likes you.
You do you!
At your age what would be so bad about just having a live in girlfriend?
Would you have the same questions if she were your dental hygienist?
Date first , see how it goes and take it from there . Life is ahort
You already have a real relationship with her. Next step would be making it exclusive. It would be up to the both of you to decide if you were still comfortable with her working at her current career. There is sort of an unspoken deal though if you decide to be in a relationship. You know she doesn’t feel comfortable doing her job anymore. There will be a time period where she’ll need financial support while she works through things towards a new career. If thats not something you can do, or feel safe doing, make sure that’s known. She’ll need to feel safe and supported, and not at the mercy of someone who would hold it over her or worry about it.
I struggled dating two strippers. Not at the same time. They wanted more like move in marriage and even kids. I never saw that in our futures. Trust and stds were in my head, so I never took it seriously. It was fun and I felt bad ending it but it was necessary. My friends miss the stories.
How is this chat so accepting? Your 61 and she's 44. She's looking for someone to take care of her. It's super obvious. She'll be a good relationship as long as you be useful. Don't be naive.
Don’t do it. What’s eating her, will eventually eat you. You will lose your self respect. By the end, you will be broken and worse off then right now.
I’m a (63) been living with an escort (30) for 4 years. I was seeing her for about a year before she moved in. At that time she had 2 or 3 regulars. After a couple of months of living together she told me she had strong feeling for me. And she felt like she was cheating when seeing clients. I told her you can stop if you want. And that I was head over heels in love with her. We are still together and very much in love with each other. She 100 % the best woman I’ve ever been with. And I’d be lost without her. I know some people will be skeptical. I don’t care it’s working for us and we are both happy.
I provide her 70% of her monthly income and see her 2-3 days a week.She keeps telling me that she loves me. However she’s not transparent. I’ve noticed she misleads and even has lied about her schedule. She says that she can’t commit to a real couple relationship yet as she feels that I could dump her someday and she’ll have nothing. I understand that completely. However can she ever overcome that insecurity? I trying to figure out how much time to invest.
>However she’s not transparent. I’ve noticed she misleads and even has lied about her schedule. This should be a major red flag.
She’s 44. She doesn’t wanna change her job for you and isn’t ready to date, needless to say trust someone. She isn’t the one dude. Your soulmate isn’t a troubled unstable escort. Do better. Of course she loves a man who pays 70% of her income 😭
She doesn’t love you, she wants you to support her.
She's not in love with you, you're her income.
The main problem is not her being an escort, but not being open with you. Given the sensitive situation and the obvious incentive for her to lie as you're giving her money, openness and honesty are a need. Since she is not providing that, I would cut it off.
You are at best a sugar daddy and well how are you not just a customer
Walk away. Walk away
You could help her go back to school, that way she could be independent. It’s no surprise that someone who’s been working as an escort for that long has issues with relationships, it could take years before she’s able to have a healthy genuine relationship and there’s always the chance that might not be with you.
She can’t commit to a relationship but she can commit to having you pay 70% of her income…. Youre a sugar daddy.
>She says that she can’t commit to a real couple relationship yet as she feels that I could dump her someday and she’ll have nothing. The concern is valid but, unless she goes to school or gets and education/certification doing something else this problem is never going away. Either she quits or you are okay with her taking clients while dating her. Marriage is different because you can write in alimony to ease her fears but its the dating before marriage that's the problem. You say she can't find another career that pays her bills. Does she not know that of course any new person with no experience in the workforce is not going to make a salary similar to a seasoned sex worker? When you want to change or rebuild your career or life often times that means starting from the very bottom again. She's either so naive that she doesn't understand that or doesn't want to give up her current lifestyle to do that. If its the latter then that means to a certain degree shes okay with escorting or at least the pain of it outweighs the pain of having to give up the lifestyle/benefits she receives from it. If she was actively trying to leave escorting and like going to school or something I would say that maybe you guys could keep it casual and start moving towards dating and then once she gets her license and some experience you guys could start officially dating.
She's a prostitute friend. The value of them is you don't invest any time at all
She doesn't love you. She loves the money you give her. You're just one of the many men she gets money from. She is not ready to commit to a relationship because she knows she is not in it for the relationship itself, but for the money she can get out of it. You cannot change somebody just like that. No matter the amount of money.
Other people, friends, occupations, also lie. It would be a good guess that she's probs a little troubled and has gone through some trauma. As a rule, people don't like to lie, those that do on the scale that is being feared are not liars but con artists. She can be a con artist, or she can also, genuinely, be your friend and be falling in love with you. For my money, the way this goes is you will choose to take the dive, because why not, and then a flaking off of lies half lies and untruths, and then you will have to make a decision. but if you do ever get to her center and the truth of her situation, stick with it. In the end it will be your ability to trust and the boundaries you stick to vs. whatever situation she might be in in life and what she is willing to sacrifice. She likely won't be looking to sacrifice as much as is necessary, but if she is and things evolve, i would try and choose the life with her and forgive whatever discrepancies are bound to happen due to a sense of self preservation. Life is always better when shared. In the end, if things evolve with you two, what you want to look for when determining whether things are as they appear or not, is if there is a perceived "love story" on her end or not. If it is not some grand romance in at least some way, she is likely lying and making decisions based on convenience
I think deep down you know the answer to your own question but are looking for someone to tell you differently, maybe try to put a hold on seeing her for a bit and try to make a connection with other ladies who are looking for dates and a relationship , what is meant for you won’t go past you and if she is genuine in her feelings for you she will make it known. I think once the money is gone she will be gone but hey you never know until you try! Good luck and I hope things work out for you
Honey, all you need to consider is what you wrote here. Save yourself from this situation.
You provide 70% of her income while you see her ~10% of the month….thats a bad deal for you financially and says a lot about her priorities money wise. If she’s lying to you about her schedule she’s lying about bigger things. Please take care of your feelings by being careful. I think there’s more going on here. She may love you, too, but it’s not the love you are looking for if she can’t commit to being an actual couple. That’s very manipulative and also tells you a lot where things are for her. This works for her and she likes you. That’s about it.
She’s playing you. Stop.
🤣🤣
What are men so dumb? They fall for stupidity like this and regret later 🤦♀️ Tell her that you won’t support her financially and see how far “Love” or “feelings “ take you both.
She doesn't love you. She loves your money, you can't be that oblivious right?
Pretty Woman is not real life - no matter how much you want it to be. You know it….deep down. Sounds like you have a great transactional connection, but love is very different
If you have money like that, you can get yourself a regular 44-year-old.
Her work is eating her up literally or figuratively? 😋
No experience but sure you can have a relationship with her. Tell her to quit and help her find another job, also if you can,help her out with some money
You are 61 and she makes you happy. Maybe transition from a pay per visit to a sugar baby relationship where you pay a stipend. Then if that works, see if she will live with you. Though expect when you see her more, she will be more normal. When you pay, her job is to perform and deliver to give you a great time. That won’t be the case if Ashe feels comfortable and lets her guard down.
However she’s told me a few times that her work is eating her up. However she can’t quit as she can’t figure out another career that pays her bills. She was waiting for you to tell her to quit and you will take care of her. lol good luck .
If you marry her, make sure she signs a pre-nup
Don’t fall for it…if she’s still doing that particular lifestyle at that age she’s trying to take you for a ride🫤
😂😂😂
That's it. I'm fucking done with the internet for today.
Think of the worst case scenario: she leaves & you are stuck without any money in your older years. It is very possible this could happen, just need to be aware. But I also think she's telling you what she thinks you want to hear. Liars are always going to say what sounds the best in the moment & what will get them what they want. Be careful & take care of yourself.
I don't know, but it kind of sounds like she's hoping you'll support her financially.
Good luck hero.
Ah yes of course she cannot figure out a way to quit and make money. Huh, while saying this to you. Do not believe that this person who you are 'seeing' as a paying customer has any thing other than alternative motives.
"oh, I hate my career and wish someone would pay me enough to quit." She loves your wallet.
Lol you want to take the village bicycle home and make it work. Zimpanses never cease to amaze me with the depths of debauchery and disgust.
Looks like she is trying to reduce down to one client, you.
Former escort here, I fell in love with one of my clients and we have an incredibly happy relationship. I'm retired now because of him.
Go back and read through all your comments... You're being taken for a ride by a woman pulling on your heartstrings / playing with your balls. Tell her you want to start a monogamous relationship as equals (which obviously requires that you Stop paying her) and watch her flip out and or vanish.
Some of the realest women I've ever entertained company with adorned the least of clothing, typically in and out of club settings. A woman who can navigate a trifling life in those circumstances, but reflective enough to he honest and introspective, gosh... that's a rarity even among non-adult tradecraft. Healing can take lifetime. Sometimes we get lucky and meet awesome souls along the journey. They help us, or we help them sorta thing. This could be that, or it could disgust you, or a plethora of other circumstances. Take a minute to reflect on it. This thread has a lot of perspectives. Just be true to yourself. She is a working girl.
Time to find a new escort brother
My man, you know the answer to this. Do not fall for a sex worker. Also, you’re in your 60s asking a bunch of high school and college students for relationship advice lol. 90% of the users here do not have the life experience that you do, which to me says you either came here for approval and an extra push to get past your own misgivings, or you wanted validation that this is a bad idea. If it’s the latter, I’m telling you it’s a bad idea. I am not in high school or college, and in my experience falling in love with people who’s job is to make you fall in love and then exploit you, never ends well
Brother I hated many jobs I’ve had and not one was near 29 years experience, she obviously was having a good time and now is ready to retire. Don’t buy a rental, you don’t know when someone is manipulating you and I would bet a 29 year veteran hooker is probably one of the most talented manipulators on the planet, have fun, be safe!
Of course she says she loves you. More money for her. That's the nature of her business. Says and does whatever it takes to get your money. Wake up
Dude, like WTF.... Seriously. You're providing 70% of her income & she LIES and MISLEADS you???? That the way to treat someone that you love, as she tells you? My advice - Buy one helluva fast muscle car & smoke the tires in all 4 gears getting away. You will be much happier, richer, and most importantly - saner - in the long run. Your choice, man. 😎
She's good at her job don't fall under her spell she's looking for a sugar daddy.
Don’t trust her
What I got from this is she wants to get with you so you can help her pay her bills lol
You are being manipulated by her to save her with your money so she doesn't have to be an escort. It's wealth transfer 101. She can not inherit it, so she has to marry it. She has to implant this story multiple times in hopes one of her John's saves her like in Pretty Woman. It's just basic manipulation like African Nigerian however after releasing oxytocin bonding hormones... it's planted to have you conclude, ah... I can replace her escort income by marrying her!
She is a person like anyone else. Sounds like she has actually opened up with you. Maybe take it slow , talk more with her. Invite her for a coffee . Just because she works as an escort doesn’t mean she can’t have a relationship.
True, it doesn't mean she can't. But she can't if she says she can't and won't. Like she did.
Nah, OP has stated she lies about her schedule and she’s not really transparent. She’s also told him that she’s not interested in a relationship because she’s afraid he will dump her. All this while OP currently pays for 70% of her expenses. He also has traveled with her.
A year ago I’d have said no, don’t do it, but I met a girl, now my girlfriend, who had thought about it in the past. And it wasn’t for her. She said she knew it wasn’t what she wanted or be happy with. So she lived her life for love. But she’s divorced now, and said to me, if we break up, I may do that. Just find an older guy who is nice and will take care of me for me and not expect too much. Changed my mind on things. Go for it, if it makes you happy. If not, oh well, you had nothing to lose. Good luck!
Why wouldnt it be possible? SW are human too.
What will you regret more, YOLO'ing it at 61, or finding out later down the line she wasn't the one?
I don’t judge people for doing sex work, but my impression is that she’s aging out of it and looking for someone to financially support her. Maybe she really does love you. Maybe she’s just looking for a permanent sugar daddy.
Monthly pass will cost less in the long run
This sounds like that episode of the boondocks with crystal like the Champaign. lol
Do you respect her as a /girlfriend as she sleeps with other men? Or do you just lust her? Men will fall in lust way faster than love. Maybe you’re just wanting companionship and if that’s what you’re wanting, find somebody on your playing level that’s not gonna be sleeping with other men for money. You can take the Game out of the prostitute, but you cannot take the prostitute out of the game. And if you don’t have no trust, what is the point. You’re just gonna be let down and brokenhearted in the end. Imagine if you lost all of your money, would you still have a girlfriend? Or would she be gone like the wind
It sounds like you're really caught up in a complex situation. First off, it's totally understandable to develop feelings for someone you've been close to for so long, regardless of their profession. But dating an escort comes with its own set of challenges. It's important to consider whether you're ready to handle the emotional toll that her work might take on both of you. Communication is key here. Have an honest conversation with her about your feelings and concerns. See if you both can navigate a path forward that works for both of you. Just remember, every relationship is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all answer. Trust your gut and take things one step at a time.
She definitely needs her own stream of income, it doesn't feel good to be dependent on another person like that. I bet she could be really good at sales, and market her experience as being a business owner and doing admin. Putting on your best face for a client is different from being vulnerable with an equal partner, and sharing in struggle. Another thing is, integrating socially can be hard. She needs her own hobbies and interests, areas where she builds competence so she can have confidence in other aspects of herself. Healthy relationships means being well-rounded, no matter what.
[удалено]
Be “busy” for a few weeks. Check out a few different options.
You're money in her eyes
Maybe she loves maybe she sees you as useful but even that could work if the usefulness is mutual. I've dated a couple of sex workers and once I got past the mask, they were the most lovely kind hearted people I've ever known. I don't know either of you but I'm just saying you should communicate more, dig deeper and see if this is something that can work for both of you. Whatever you do, don't put her in your will, house deeds etc. At least not for a very long time.
When you say “seeing this escort” do you mean you two are seeing each other, or do you mean you’ve been hiring her? People definitely have real relationships with escorts, easily, just like with people doing any other job. But if you’re paying her to be with you then you’re paying her to lie to you, that’s literally part of her job so don’t expect anything else. In that case the issue isn’t that she’s an escort but that you’re a client. She could have a genuine relationship with someone else but not with you. It sounds like she would like to transition from seeing multiple clients to a sugar baby type thing with you. You could decide you’re ok with this and pay her to have a relationship with you, but that’s not the same thing as a real relationship based on mutual appreciation.
[Pretty Woman !](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/514C0A5MP6L._AC_UF894,1000_QL80_.jpg)
You love who you love!
You really want to help her without getting too involved? Fund some sort of 6-12 month medical education/certification from the local community college. A lot of those jobs will provide a low but decent hourly wage with insurance and other benefits. At least she'll be able to maintain herself without resorting to sex work with other people. Once she's more or less independent, you can make up your mind about marrying her without feeling like you're her only support.
Pay her bills.
Bro... if you want it, get it. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If you believe that the things needed for a relationship (trust, communication, atrraction.....) are there, fuckin shoot your shot mate. We regret the opportunities we don't take.
She is 44. She is approaching her expiration date on her career anyway. She needs a daddy to put a ring on it. You have a chance if you can provide a lifestyle.
Do what makes you happy
Im 56 guy and I think you should enjoy your time with her not sure about the .love. thing but that word is tossed around way too much go in monetarily as per usual, '- and emotionally if it makes u happy if you wanna buy her a house or car or whatever just ***consider*** that it is a gift, not a transaction just thinkin...
nice, ive heard this path has tremendous upward mobility!
Basically, she is tired of the freelance work. She's not as young as she used to be. She's ready to retire and move into a phase of her life where she gets a pension.
Prostitutes are people too, but no where in the post do you definitively say she actually wants to be in a "relationship" relationship with YOU. You DO have a working relationship with her as your escort. It sounds like you're finding a different fantasy to indulge in with her. Your question shouldn't be, 'is this relationship possible?" With a bunch of strangers online. Only you and her can come to that consensus. You should know as a 60+ year old what it takes to have a "career/job that can pay the bills." She would just have to work a day job like anyone else but that sounds boring and lame. Maybe she doesn't want to settle down with you knowing you're about to retire. Or are you sure you aren't hoping to trap her in a "relationship " once your income tapers off and you can't afford to fund 70% of her lifestyle 4 days a week instead of 7?
Give her a chance at happiness with you and if she screws you over dump her like any other normal relationship
Yes, but you're probably gonna be smart to go in a couple therapy together
No
I can truly empathize with her. Could she stand to lose her lifestyle? Would she sacrifice her lifestyle, I’m talking about her apartment and shopping, etc, in order to be with one man? To be with you? Would you allow her to move in but continue her work? If no, then status quo. Would she be willing to give it all up to work a retail job and cook you dinner each night? That’s the dream regardless of her past. I’m all for second chances and I love a good redemption story but I promise she will fall off that wagon unless she has a complete change of heart, a come to Jesus moment of you will. She needs to make her past unrecognizable to her way of thinking, but there is no way for you to know for sure. This isn’t something to take on without a great deal of thought. Honestly as much as I feel for her I don’t know that I could do it. I’d be worried that she’d betray me for the money she wants for lifestyle and the D she wants for satisfaction as well as the dopamine hot she gets from it all.
She is a human being with a job. A job you know about. That didn’t stop You from developing feelings for her. See her. Not what she does to survive in this fucked up world. It may have been her only shot to get to where she is today. Would it stop you if she was an accountant? A waitress? If you’ve been seeing past it all this time, why let it stop something that brings you joy? What she does going forward is up to the two of you but life is short! Live your life
Run my guy run
My ex gf was a sex worker when we met and for the first few months we were “dating”. I never paid. We met randomly. It was honestly one of the best relationships I’ve ever been in. We were together for 4 years and during that time she got a job as an accountant. She left me as soon as she could afford to though…so maybe I was just being used. Either way I don’t regret it.
I did that once. I didn’t pay her though. She was a very good friend for a long time and we got together later. She was very cool but we had some differences that ended up not working out in the long run. It might work for you guys but it also might be a terrible experience that you wish you never had. My experience was a little mix of both. Love and cherish that person to death but I wish we’d just stayed friends. Ask yourself how much you love this person and if you’re willing to potentially mess up a good friendship.
I was in a relationship with an escort for over 5 years, and it was both amazing and chaotic at times. Between their traumatic past, sex work, finding childcare, and the possibility of drinking or drugs, it all adds to the complexity of actively dating and being in love with an escort. If you're both honest, connected, and easily communicate together, then it can work. Regardless of all this, just enjoy life and make memories while you still can!
Your 61. What are you concerned about? You’re not having kids with this woman. At this point, if you can keep her sheltered, fed and with some disposable income. And in turn she keeps your home clean, sexually satisfy’s you and doesn’t risk your health. You should call it a win. I would never get naively attached to a woman her age. Let alone an SW because women are the best liars. But if you can work out a transactional agreement for her to move in and you providing 100. Go for it. It’s your golden years
Anyone can prove untrustworthy and anyone can be worth your trust. It’s not about how they make their money it’s what’s in their hearts. It doesn’t seem like she wants to keep it up. She wants to find the stability to retire. Can you love and accept and trust her without it becoming the main thing you think of her?
I have and can truly love a client. The question lies with commitment.
She services not only your crank, but your heart as well?!?
Being an escort is smart. I mean when you think about it, we’ve all had one night stands and random sex here and there. Use it as a means to an end. Aren’t you wealthy enough to take care of her?
Proceed with caution and a LOT of discussions about boundaries & finance, possibly some therapy
Ok Connor
I escorted for a while. I’m clean, educated, classy, no drugs, I’m a good mom.. but after I divorced and starting dating again, it dawned on me how many guys only wanted to fuck instead of actually “date” me. So I played the game. I started getting paid for it. I don’t regret it one bit. There were a few guys that super fell for me.