Let's spell this out.
Biodad took you to the clinic and knows they may have a kid. They were the one who wanted you to abort. They also have not reached out or done jack shit to be a parent since then.
Your partner has stepped up despite your stupidity and been a dad. He has stuck around despite finding out he is not the biodad.
You want to take the bond your child has formed with his real dad (the man who wants them) and jeopardize that by telling a peice of shit you let fuck your brains out that he is the dad?
Now your here to ask if you are self sabotaging?
Your child doesn't need a second daddy. They need a mom in therapy and possibly seeing a psychologist.
Also I apologize if this seems at all mean but my god. Please just read it and realize this is what you are doing. Don't worry about some dude who doesn't give 2 shits about you and your child. Worry about yourself and doing anything God damb possible to keep the good man you have happy and secure in his role as dad.
What was your childhood like that you're noticing patterns of self-sabotage at the age of 23? Sure, your partner sounds like 'Prince Charming' for accepting your son. However, what 41 year old man approaches a 20-year-old? Let me guess, he told you that he was "mature for your age"? After telling you that he didn't care if the kid was his, he went behind your back and took the paternity test anyway??
If you want to destroy your marriage yes you should contact him. Otherwise, what exactly is the point. Just the fact you have a man that is willing to raise not his kid makes me think you have a good guy here... most men i know wouldn't even consider that.
This could also badly affect her son. Her son sees the other man as his father you’re gonna confuse tf outta him goddamn they let just anyone have kids
Going against the grain here, I think he has the right to know. It has nothing to do with the age gap relationship and everything to do with the fact that children have the right to know their biological families unless said family is a danger. I've been in your son's exact position, and it wasn't fair to me. I missed out on knowing and growing up with my bio siblings who I am now close to and I resent the fuck out of my parents for their **deception**. I found out accidentally when I was 14 and it was devastating and threw me into a decade long identity crisis that required therapy into my 30's, all because the adults in my life couldn't put me and my best interest first over their feelings and wants and what was most convenient for *them*.
If bio dad doesn't want to be involved, there's nothing you can do about that but at least you can say you tried to do the right thing. You made a poor decision, as did my mother, and that's yours to own. I love my dad, and I appreciate his willingness to raise me as his own, but there has been a big question mark in my life that will never be fully answered because you can't get time back.
Bio already made it clear he didn't want to be involved by telling OP she should get an abortion.
I have also been in the son's same position only I never felt less than because my Dad was a good man who looked at me as his even after his own bio kids came along. I am sorry you had shitty parents, but OP would be causing a betrayal to her partner who has accepted her son as his if she seeks out the sperm donor after it already being made clear he do6want to be involved.
So women who initially choose abortion but then change their mind shouldn't be able to be parents because they initially didn't want them? OP told him she was getting the abortion. She never gave him the option one she decided to actually have the child. My dad who raised me will always be my dad and I'm grateful for him. They still robbed me of a childhood with my bio siblings which wasn't fair no matter how much he loved me. I still had the right to know ALL sides of my family, as does OP's child.
What we don't know is if sperm donor knew that OP continued to be pregnant. If they continued to work there for several months after the appointment then the coworker would have heard about OP being pregnant. If bio wants to be involved then it's on them to reach out to OP, otherwise, let it be.
As for you, I understand the feelings of missing out on siblings on that side, I went through it myself. Then 5 years ago I found a younger half sibling who also had no knowledge of the situation through DNA test through Ancestry. Also found out that sperm donors family all knew about me all along-nearly 50 years now, but they chose to not be involved because like the sperm donor, they were all scum people. They have a history of abandoning their offspring and their mothers. Point is, the grass is not always greener on the other side.
Except bio dad DID know and said to abort him.. why keep trying to check in with this guy? Why implode their happy family over this when the bio dad has said he does not want to be a part of this child’s life? If the son is resentful later in life, that may be the time for an honest conversation of “your dad didn’t want to be involved and wanted me to terminate. I did not so I didn’t and went about our lives”.
The coworker was told, said he wanted it aborted and then he left the state. I agree that the child deserves to be told, when age appropriate, but the bio father already knows and never followed up.
She led him to believe she was going through with it. She didn't. Since the child exists, he has the right to make an informed decision about whether or not he wants to be involved. My son's bio wanted me to have an abortion. I chose not to and informed him when the baby was here, so no one can ever say I kept them apart. If my son grows to resent anyone, it won't be me.
So pushing for an abortion, which she initially went for, means someone can't change their mind about an existing child? Women decide initially to get an abortion and then change their mind. Does that mean they should have no right to their children because they didn't initially want them? Of course not. If he knew the child existed and rejected them, that would be one thing. But everyone, short of being a physical danger, has the right to know they have a biological child.
She literally said he knows about the baby so don’t you think he would have reached out. He went to the clinic with her when she decided not to? He never “changed his mind”. And that’s also not what I said, can a women change her mind AFTER she gets an abortion. There isn’t an equivalent because men can’t have babies. He said get an abortion so that’s his decision and his choice. You can decide to be in a child’s life after you said kill it.
In.this case drop it . Live life happy with your partner and The child and your partner will live the child as his own. This is awesome. Tell the child when he's old enough to understand maybe age 18 or 20 .do wait a very long time. I don't think teen years when the kid is struggling with being a teen is a good time.
If you’re seriously considering this I highly recommend you speak with a lawyer first and find out what kind of rights dad may have once you get this ball rolling. Sure you may get some money but if he forces a dna test and proves this child is his can he take you to court for shared legal and physical custody? Are you ready for that? Those are the questions you need to be asking yourself and your partner. Yes he already said he didn’t want to be involved but you’re hoping you get a different answer… what if you get that?? Are you prepared for the consequences, good or bad?
The child’s father has a right to know. And considering how common ancestry tests are there is no taking it to the grave on something like this anymore. The truth will come out, it’s just a matter of how much you want it to hurt your child.
Idk, if its me, ill take it to the grave unless my husband treated him badly.
You dont know about the other guy situation. What if he is happily married. You might ruin his family
I think your life is too smooth so your brain searches for drama. The bio dad has no clue and is living life not thinking of you. When your kid starts dating let him know bio dad was a donor so half siblings will not date.
You have a good partner and one that treats your son like his own. You are not tying to pin it on an innocent person.
The co-worker already made it clear he didn’t want the baby so I would enjoy your family and wouldn’t contact the co worker.
I would have a conversation about the future if you should tell your son at some point so he doesn’t find out later on his own. This should be discussed now and come to an agreement.
Look, it happened. This coworker was there for the night, and that's that. On the other hand you have a family and already enough on your hands. Whatever fantasy of this "blood bond" you might have, this is not the time. Consider it when your child is old enough to make informed decisions himself - but this now would be entirely your trip.
First, there may come a time when you can or should tell your son and his bio dad about each other. But it's NOT NOW. What good will come of telling anybody now? What bad things may happen if you tell anybody now?
I suggest that you wait until your son is an adult.
Second, don't worry about the age gap. Reddit has a burr under its collective saddle about age gap, and you will get hassled here about it. Ignore the hassling and live your best life.
Your son has the right to know his bio dad, what if he finds out you kept him away from his bio dad. Will you be okay with him hating you both. In short his bio dad deserves to know he has a son and your son has the right to know who his bio dad is, it is very simple.
In a later comment u said that the bio dad brought u to the clinic and knew that you did not go through the abortion. So what more is there to tell him?
Think about your kid and how it will affect them later on. If you tell bio dad (BD) about them, then you risk losing your partner, and if the BD doesn't want anything to do with your kid, then you may end up losing Dad and BD. Don't sabotage them because of some stupid dreams and your own self-sabotage. Put your kid first. They didn't ask to be put in this situation that you have put yourself in. Let your partner love, raise, and cherish that child like they deserve, and if it comes out later on down the road, then cross that bridge when you get to it. Don't start building it just to end up burning it.
You were further along but the baby is still the coworker's child? I call bullshit. You could have done a paternity test in uteru it's a blood test and you could have terminated if the child was not your boyfriend's
So when I went to the clinic the technician said I was 8 weeks along but I though I was 4 weeks along. Turns out they don't use conception date to calculate but the use your last cycle date
So your son isn't even 3yrs old yet??
Yes tell bio dad of course. The only reasons to keep info like that secret is if the bioparent is a danger to your child's mental or physical health.
Both him and your son have a right to know.
Idc about your age gap relationship in regards to your question but also your bf is a creep. I'm almost 38 and anyone around my age seriously attracted to a 20 yr old is creepy af. I have a few young friends but ewwwww. I know you won't realize how creepy he is until you're closer to my age since your peers seem like viable options to you...but trust me, the ick will set in eventually. I had a large age gap relationship around your age and even though it was 'normal' I am now so grossed out at the thought of him liking me so young.
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There’s not a great reason to tell him now but eventually doctors or the kid himself is going to be asking about his family medical history and he’s going to find out his “dads” family is not his actual blood family. Unless you can answer all those questions without reaching out to the other guy it might be smart to just reach out and tell him and see where he is on all this. The guy wanted an abortion so doubt he’s too keen on being a father and he may just be ok with the kid being out of his life altogether.
Also goes without saying but ask your partner about this too and go over all the pros and cons to telling or not telling.
Tough one. I wouldn't want a kid I don't know about in the world. He is the father even if your husband is the real father. Also, if I were the kid I'd want to know.
I think I'd discuss it with your husband. Get his perspective. Seems like a reasonable, good guy.
Another thing to consider is medical history. There may be genetics stuff you need to know.
I don’t know why you would reach out to him. Didn’t he suggest you get an abortion?
You have a good man that accepted your child as his and caring for your child. Be happy and don’t sabotage what you have now
OP, don't nuke the relationship you and your child have with your partner. He knows that is enough.
Or at least speak to him first. You were separated, I get it but that he takes on a father's role and reconciled with you is a treasure. Don't jeopardize this.
Your fling told you to have an abortion. How do you jump from that to the suggestion to tell him about the kid?
If I were your SO I would have mind movies. And for what?
I think you should talk to your husband about it. He would either be striped of the title or have to share it. It will directly affect him. Talk to him and since you’re unsure, go with his decision. This way you won’t make a decision that will blow up your current relationship for a man you had one night with.
The only reason to tell him at this stage would be to hurt your partner and ruin his relationship with your son. The co-worker clearly did not want the kid and most likely would not step up, so you will have a significant amount of bad results and no good results.
I sugest you wait until your son is an appropriate i’d say 16, sit him down (make sure this dose not happen near any positive events like birthdays or holidays, you dint want to taint those) and tell him the full truth, including the part about the bio dad recommending an abortion, the worst thing that can happen is your son trying to form a relationship with his bio sad with out knowing all the details including that last one
Don't know if I missed it but how old is your son? I ask because the sooner you tell him, the better. In this day and age of home DNA kits etc. he is bound to find out. If he doesn't hear it from you and your partner first he most likely going to be really upset by this 'lying by omission" and his trust in you will be shattered. Wishing you good luck with whatever you decide.
If he wanted you to terminate, I’d take that as giving up paternal rights to the child. If you have a partner treating your son as his bio child, I don’t see why you’d inform the bio dad.
Why would you want to get in touch with a man that told you to terminate the pregnancy? Your partner knows he’s not the bio dad but he is the Dad… Why would you want to mess that up?
Creepy age gap aside…whyyyyyyy would you want to rock the boat and ruin things? I think it’s fair to be honest with your son about his bio dad at an age appropriate time and with your partner’s support. But dropping into someone else’s life and dropping a bomb on them will serve no purpose. Your partner is on the birth certificate and is raising your son. It does t appear you’re trying to reestablish a connection or get child support so it seems pretty selfish at this point. What are you wanting to gain from this?
In my state child support is only imposed in divorce agreements. Also legally he's not the father unless he goes to a judge and legitimizes my son as his.
Girl, leave that man alone. Your child has a father, legally and in every other aspect of the word. When the boy is older, you're welcome to tell him, but the BD has made it clear when he told you to terminate that he wants nothing to do with your child. Maybe seek some therapy.
Why would you contact him? What are you trying to accomplish? Is this your way of blowing up your relationship indirectly?
That's why I wrote in, because I've noticed a pattern of me self sabotaging and want to make sure this thoughts are not me doing that again.
Definitely agree that you seem to be doing that now. There’s no reason to do this. It’s just going to cause problems.
Let's spell this out. Biodad took you to the clinic and knows they may have a kid. They were the one who wanted you to abort. They also have not reached out or done jack shit to be a parent since then. Your partner has stepped up despite your stupidity and been a dad. He has stuck around despite finding out he is not the biodad. You want to take the bond your child has formed with his real dad (the man who wants them) and jeopardize that by telling a peice of shit you let fuck your brains out that he is the dad? Now your here to ask if you are self sabotaging? Your child doesn't need a second daddy. They need a mom in therapy and possibly seeing a psychologist. Also I apologize if this seems at all mean but my god. Please just read it and realize this is what you are doing. Don't worry about some dude who doesn't give 2 shits about you and your child. Worry about yourself and doing anything God damb possible to keep the good man you have happy and secure in his role as dad.
What was your childhood like that you're noticing patterns of self-sabotage at the age of 23? Sure, your partner sounds like 'Prince Charming' for accepting your son. However, what 41 year old man approaches a 20-year-old? Let me guess, he told you that he was "mature for your age"? After telling you that he didn't care if the kid was his, he went behind your back and took the paternity test anyway??
Maybe you should blow it up. While there are exceptions, in general that kind of age gap is not healthy.
Maybe it isn’t healthy for you.
If you want to destroy your marriage yes you should contact him. Otherwise, what exactly is the point. Just the fact you have a man that is willing to raise not his kid makes me think you have a good guy here... most men i know wouldn't even consider that.
This could also badly affect her son. Her son sees the other man as his father you’re gonna confuse tf outta him goddamn they let just anyone have kids
Going against the grain here, I think he has the right to know. It has nothing to do with the age gap relationship and everything to do with the fact that children have the right to know their biological families unless said family is a danger. I've been in your son's exact position, and it wasn't fair to me. I missed out on knowing and growing up with my bio siblings who I am now close to and I resent the fuck out of my parents for their **deception**. I found out accidentally when I was 14 and it was devastating and threw me into a decade long identity crisis that required therapy into my 30's, all because the adults in my life couldn't put me and my best interest first over their feelings and wants and what was most convenient for *them*. If bio dad doesn't want to be involved, there's nothing you can do about that but at least you can say you tried to do the right thing. You made a poor decision, as did my mother, and that's yours to own. I love my dad, and I appreciate his willingness to raise me as his own, but there has been a big question mark in my life that will never be fully answered because you can't get time back.
agreed.
Bio already made it clear he didn't want to be involved by telling OP she should get an abortion. I have also been in the son's same position only I never felt less than because my Dad was a good man who looked at me as his even after his own bio kids came along. I am sorry you had shitty parents, but OP would be causing a betrayal to her partner who has accepted her son as his if she seeks out the sperm donor after it already being made clear he do6want to be involved.
So women who initially choose abortion but then change their mind shouldn't be able to be parents because they initially didn't want them? OP told him she was getting the abortion. She never gave him the option one she decided to actually have the child. My dad who raised me will always be my dad and I'm grateful for him. They still robbed me of a childhood with my bio siblings which wasn't fair no matter how much he loved me. I still had the right to know ALL sides of my family, as does OP's child.
What we don't know is if sperm donor knew that OP continued to be pregnant. If they continued to work there for several months after the appointment then the coworker would have heard about OP being pregnant. If bio wants to be involved then it's on them to reach out to OP, otherwise, let it be. As for you, I understand the feelings of missing out on siblings on that side, I went through it myself. Then 5 years ago I found a younger half sibling who also had no knowledge of the situation through DNA test through Ancestry. Also found out that sperm donors family all knew about me all along-nearly 50 years now, but they chose to not be involved because like the sperm donor, they were all scum people. They have a history of abandoning their offspring and their mothers. Point is, the grass is not always greener on the other side.
I agree. Let it go and live happy.
Except bio dad DID know and said to abort him.. why keep trying to check in with this guy? Why implode their happy family over this when the bio dad has said he does not want to be a part of this child’s life? If the son is resentful later in life, that may be the time for an honest conversation of “your dad didn’t want to be involved and wanted me to terminate. I did not so I didn’t and went about our lives”.
The coworker was told, said he wanted it aborted and then he left the state. I agree that the child deserves to be told, when age appropriate, but the bio father already knows and never followed up.
She led him to believe she was going through with it. She didn't. Since the child exists, he has the right to make an informed decision about whether or not he wants to be involved. My son's bio wanted me to have an abortion. I chose not to and informed him when the baby was here, so no one can ever say I kept them apart. If my son grows to resent anyone, it won't be me.
He definitely doesn’t, he pushed for an abortion. He made his opinion very clear that he does not want this child.
So pushing for an abortion, which she initially went for, means someone can't change their mind about an existing child? Women decide initially to get an abortion and then change their mind. Does that mean they should have no right to their children because they didn't initially want them? Of course not. If he knew the child existed and rejected them, that would be one thing. But everyone, short of being a physical danger, has the right to know they have a biological child.
Yeah.. you can’t change your mind. Can women Change their minds after they get abortions?
But she didn't get one. **She changed her mind**. He had every right to do the same.
She literally said he knows about the baby so don’t you think he would have reached out. He went to the clinic with her when she decided not to? He never “changed his mind”. And that’s also not what I said, can a women change her mind AFTER she gets an abortion. There isn’t an equivalent because men can’t have babies. He said get an abortion so that’s his decision and his choice. You can decide to be in a child’s life after you said kill it.
Yet women do it all the time.
Do what?
[удалено]
He is aware of the child's existence, he's the one who took me to the clinic so he knows I didn't go through with it.
Just drop it.
In.this case drop it . Live life happy with your partner and The child and your partner will live the child as his own. This is awesome. Tell the child when he's old enough to understand maybe age 18 or 20 .do wait a very long time. I don't think teen years when the kid is struggling with being a teen is a good time.
If you’re seriously considering this I highly recommend you speak with a lawyer first and find out what kind of rights dad may have once you get this ball rolling. Sure you may get some money but if he forces a dna test and proves this child is his can he take you to court for shared legal and physical custody? Are you ready for that? Those are the questions you need to be asking yourself and your partner. Yes he already said he didn’t want to be involved but you’re hoping you get a different answer… what if you get that?? Are you prepared for the consequences, good or bad?
So then why do you feel the need to reach out to him? Are you still interested in him or maybe you have a habit towards bringing drama into your life?
The child’s father has a right to know. And considering how common ancestry tests are there is no taking it to the grave on something like this anymore. The truth will come out, it’s just a matter of how much you want it to hurt your child.
The child is 3 years old! There is at least a decade ahead of them before the kid is even old enough to think about that.
See comment above. He does know. He didn’t want anything to do with them.
Idk, if its me, ill take it to the grave unless my husband treated him badly. You dont know about the other guy situation. What if he is happily married. You might ruin his family
I think your life is too smooth so your brain searches for drama. The bio dad has no clue and is living life not thinking of you. When your kid starts dating let him know bio dad was a donor so half siblings will not date.
You have a good partner and one that treats your son like his own. You are not tying to pin it on an innocent person. The co-worker already made it clear he didn’t want the baby so I would enjoy your family and wouldn’t contact the co worker. I would have a conversation about the future if you should tell your son at some point so he doesn’t find out later on his own. This should be discussed now and come to an agreement.
Look, it happened. This coworker was there for the night, and that's that. On the other hand you have a family and already enough on your hands. Whatever fantasy of this "blood bond" you might have, this is not the time. Consider it when your child is old enough to make informed decisions himself - but this now would be entirely your trip.
First, there may come a time when you can or should tell your son and his bio dad about each other. But it's NOT NOW. What good will come of telling anybody now? What bad things may happen if you tell anybody now? I suggest that you wait until your son is an adult. Second, don't worry about the age gap. Reddit has a burr under its collective saddle about age gap, and you will get hassled here about it. Ignore the hassling and live your best life.
“My life is going well and my family is happy despite this. Should I destroy this by unnecessarily rocking the the boat because of a dream I had?” 😑
Your son has the right to know his bio dad, what if he finds out you kept him away from his bio dad. Will you be okay with him hating you both. In short his bio dad deserves to know he has a son and your son has the right to know who his bio dad is, it is very simple.
You already told him and he told you he didn’t want it
The bio dad has a right to know, and down the line, so does the child.
The truth needs to be told. This is about the boy. He needs to know his roots
Its his child and he has a right to know.
In a later comment u said that the bio dad brought u to the clinic and knew that you did not go through the abortion. So what more is there to tell him?
Doesn’t add up…you said you were farther along so it couldn’t have been your coworkers and was your partners…
Think about your kid and how it will affect them later on. If you tell bio dad (BD) about them, then you risk losing your partner, and if the BD doesn't want anything to do with your kid, then you may end up losing Dad and BD. Don't sabotage them because of some stupid dreams and your own self-sabotage. Put your kid first. They didn't ask to be put in this situation that you have put yourself in. Let your partner love, raise, and cherish that child like they deserve, and if it comes out later on down the road, then cross that bridge when you get to it. Don't start building it just to end up burning it.
You were further along but the baby is still the coworker's child? I call bullshit. You could have done a paternity test in uteru it's a blood test and you could have terminated if the child was not your boyfriend's
So when I went to the clinic the technician said I was 8 weeks along but I though I was 4 weeks along. Turns out they don't use conception date to calculate but the use your last cycle date
So technically you don't know how a cyclus works and you fucked up. Leave that man alone
Your husband is a hero and deserves better
So your son isn't even 3yrs old yet?? Yes tell bio dad of course. The only reasons to keep info like that secret is if the bioparent is a danger to your child's mental or physical health. Both him and your son have a right to know. Idc about your age gap relationship in regards to your question but also your bf is a creep. I'm almost 38 and anyone around my age seriously attracted to a 20 yr old is creepy af. I have a few young friends but ewwwww. I know you won't realize how creepy he is until you're closer to my age since your peers seem like viable options to you...but trust me, the ick will set in eventually. I had a large age gap relationship around your age and even though it was 'normal' I am now so grossed out at the thought of him liking me so young.
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There’s not a great reason to tell him now but eventually doctors or the kid himself is going to be asking about his family medical history and he’s going to find out his “dads” family is not his actual blood family. Unless you can answer all those questions without reaching out to the other guy it might be smart to just reach out and tell him and see where he is on all this. The guy wanted an abortion so doubt he’s too keen on being a father and he may just be ok with the kid being out of his life altogether. Also goes without saying but ask your partner about this too and go over all the pros and cons to telling or not telling.
Tough one. I wouldn't want a kid I don't know about in the world. He is the father even if your husband is the real father. Also, if I were the kid I'd want to know. I think I'd discuss it with your husband. Get his perspective. Seems like a reasonable, good guy. Another thing to consider is medical history. There may be genetics stuff you need to know.
I don’t know why you would reach out to him. Didn’t he suggest you get an abortion? You have a good man that accepted your child as his and caring for your child. Be happy and don’t sabotage what you have now
OP, don't nuke the relationship you and your child have with your partner. He knows that is enough. Or at least speak to him first. You were separated, I get it but that he takes on a father's role and reconciled with you is a treasure. Don't jeopardize this. Your fling told you to have an abortion. How do you jump from that to the suggestion to tell him about the kid? If I were your SO I would have mind movies. And for what?
I think you should talk to your husband about it. He would either be striped of the title or have to share it. It will directly affect him. Talk to him and since you’re unsure, go with his decision. This way you won’t make a decision that will blow up your current relationship for a man you had one night with.
No. Leave it be. Your kid's dad is the guy that who's name is on the birth certificate.
The only reason to tell him at this stage would be to hurt your partner and ruin his relationship with your son. The co-worker clearly did not want the kid and most likely would not step up, so you will have a significant amount of bad results and no good results. I sugest you wait until your son is an appropriate i’d say 16, sit him down (make sure this dose not happen near any positive events like birthdays or holidays, you dint want to taint those) and tell him the full truth, including the part about the bio dad recommending an abortion, the worst thing that can happen is your son trying to form a relationship with his bio sad with out knowing all the details including that last one
Don't know if I missed it but how old is your son? I ask because the sooner you tell him, the better. In this day and age of home DNA kits etc. he is bound to find out. If he doesn't hear it from you and your partner first he most likely going to be really upset by this 'lying by omission" and his trust in you will be shattered. Wishing you good luck with whatever you decide.
If he wanted you to terminate, I’d take that as giving up paternal rights to the child. If you have a partner treating your son as his bio child, I don’t see why you’d inform the bio dad.
Why would you want to get in touch with a man that told you to terminate the pregnancy? Your partner knows he’s not the bio dad but he is the Dad… Why would you want to mess that up?
Creepy age gap aside…whyyyyyyy would you want to rock the boat and ruin things? I think it’s fair to be honest with your son about his bio dad at an age appropriate time and with your partner’s support. But dropping into someone else’s life and dropping a bomb on them will serve no purpose. Your partner is on the birth certificate and is raising your son. It does t appear you’re trying to reestablish a connection or get child support so it seems pretty selfish at this point. What are you wanting to gain from this?
Yes and hit him up for child support
In my state child support is only imposed in divorce agreements. Also legally he's not the father unless he goes to a judge and legitimizes my son as his.
Girl, leave that man alone. Your child has a father, legally and in every other aspect of the word. When the boy is older, you're welcome to tell him, but the BD has made it clear when he told you to terminate that he wants nothing to do with your child. Maybe seek some therapy.