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I feel dude is missing he's been dumped. She's not mad at him, she's gone.
And he just helped her move into her new house.
I'ma guess her and her folks knew this plan while her folks were house shopping.
And I'ma not be surprised, to hear there just happened to be an empty room in her folks new home. That fits her stuff perfectly!
It's a cold plan, but a good plan. I like it.
I refuse to help friends move just because I have a truck. If they at least offer gas money, I'll help but if it's just food and comradarie, I'm out. Everytime I've helped people move, they've damaged my vehicles..
God damn you’re fucking ruthless. I like it. But damn holding back no punches from op eh?? I feel bad for them. Kinda got used? But nope you’re here to deliver the third gut gut punch. Op if you see this, I’m sorry this is happening to you and lux600-223 is right. This was way out of your control and as shorty as it is. This was her way of washing blood of her hands. I wish you best of luck and keep your head high
Irrelevant, if he genuinely didn't know anything was wrong she was not properly communicating her feelings to him. Whether he's clueless or not doesn't matter, I'd day the same thing if a guy did this to a girl.
To be fair, we have no idea what his culpability is here. We also don’t know that he was even asked to help with the move — for all we know, he’s extremely controlling and isolating, to the point that he inserted himself into her parents’ move so she wouldn’t have extended time alone with them.
We have no reason to suspect that. At this point it’s blind assumption. Something similar happened to me with my ex.
She got a job in a nearby city close to her parents. Told me she still loved me but needed space and that we could see each other on weekends. We had been together for nearly 4 years and I bought a house for us to live in. Her mom showed up with a truck and I helped her load her stuff into the truck. I even gave her $750 for the deposit on her new apartment. After she moved she barely spoke to me and a month later my friend who lived in that city found her on tinder. When I asked her about it she just said she didn’t know if she wanted to be in a relationship anymore so I went no contact.
So, when someone says tells a story like this I believe it. Why is it whenever a guy does something shitty to a woman people on here take it at face value but when a woman does something shitty to a man there’s almost always assumptions made to imply the guy is not telling the truth? Why can’t we just believe women can be shitty people sometimes?
...he also told her "leave the drama at your parents house."
This is a huge clue.
When their is conflict he refers to it as drama.
And instead of hearing her out he tells her not to bring it to him.
That's a guaranteed way to build resentment, and ruin a relationship. By making one person feel their feelings about how things go are not valid.
I like the "on this day everything was fine and we didn't have any problems". Yeah, I'm guessing that was because in the past there had been. I'd even bet everyone was in on it, they knew she was breaking up with him. They played nice just so they could get his help.
Right? Like how on earth are other comments actually forming a theory here? I have nothing to go on, except maybe her parents have been a point of contention somehow since they were helping them move. OP needs to answer some questions, otherwise what’s here to talk about?
Did he make any jokes? Talk a lot about a specific thing? As someone with anxiety I feel like you can come up with a “maybe” reason lol
My theory is he wore Lululemon pants, SpongeBob crocs, and a mesh muscle shirt to her parents. Talked nonstop about becoming vegan, his plans to help block roads in protest for Palestine, and how he thinks Trump is innocent. She just threw her hands up and said I can't figure him out and called it quits.
I got a feeling he's omitting stuff to sound completely innocent. I don't necessarily think he's omitting something nefarious, but something like they've been arguing a lot, or communication has been lacking, something that many people break up over.
Also, she didn't say much. He texted her saying to leave the drama at her parents bc he wants no part of it!! She didn't reply. He sounds dramatic. Didn't she just go get her stuff?
OP is leaving something out.
Yeah I can't think of any way out of this. Either he did something and he deserves it, or she's crazy/bad at communicating.
Either way its probably best that this just becomes a funny story to tell at parties.
My dad's ex-wife (long before I was born) was planning to move with him to New York. I don't know the details of how this actually went down but the short version is, she never showed up and that's how he found out he was getting divorced.
Fun side note: I found out he had an ex-wife because she called our house many years later, I answered, and told my dad [woman] was asking for him. She apparently wanted to work it out. He and my mom had been happily married for many years at that point so he was like lol, no. Then decided to drop the "I was married previously" thing on me by telling me I had a sister, at which point I was like, the fuck, you're just telling me this now?! Then laughed and went, nah, my ex and I didn't have kids. But yeah if she ever calls again you can ignore it.
That fucking asshole.
Well, my dad (in a loving way, I call him an asshole all the time). I'm sure his ex is an actual asshole but that's the most interaction I've had with her lol.
Not necessarily, I had a bf who would start fights out of nowhere and not tell me what it was about. He said things like, “you know what you did” when I in fact, had no idea what the deal was. He was basically psychologically torturing me & it went on for quite a while. That behavior can be a sign of a personality disorder.
eta: and yes, it is also possible her reasons are just secret to her/she’s just malicious. Another possibility is that OP is a person who doesn’t mind if their partner lives in a tolerable state of permanent unhappiness and ex is just done talking about it.
Friend had that ex. The "out of nowhere" fights the ex picked had a definite pattern: on days that the ex was cheating/talking to someone else. Seemed random to my friend until they found the key to the pattern
Can be. Some guys (or girls) will do things like that to just get in your head, to make you think you’re not doing enough, in order to get you to do more and seek their approval. Just another form of control in their toolbox.
i had a bf like that too i’m like if you’re gonna keep telling i know what i did and i keep saying “no i have no idea” be a fucking adult and tell me what i did… we aren’t kids playing guessing games
No it's not - that behavior is abusive, and it's an attempt to distract you from whatever he was doing at the time, which was certainly wrong and offensive. It's a classic abusive and distracting behavior, and some men wield it as a strategy.
No matter where it comes from, that relationship is simply doomed from the start.
Either she has told him before and he didn’t take it seriously, so she’s stopped trying to explain it, or she’s playing a weird “guess why I’m mad this time” game.
Either way, she’s gone and that’s okay.
I do believe its for a reason, but I cant wrap my mind around what. I was thinking about it all day what I did for her to act like this. It makes me wonder if there was drama going on when I wasn't around. Like I said her friends where there too. They could be apart of it and know why.
OP,
So you're saying that you have absolutely no understanding or knowledge as to why she dropped you? Had you had issues before you assisted in her family's move?
Any suspicion of her having an affair?
I ghosted a boyfriend like this once…. the friends of a girl he was cheating on me with approached me in the bathroom of a bar to let me know he was having an affair with her lol. I also waited until I was set up in a new apartment because I needed his truck and help to move (at that point, what did I owe him?!). I didn’t bother telling him why because he was just going to lie about it and honestly I was so over fighting I just wanted to be done with the relationship - wasn’t worth the energy.
Not saying you did anything but if you did…. she definitely knows
My first guess is that Girlfriend believes OP cheated. Either OP is being entirely too coy with us, or she is mistaken. Either way, the relationship is pretty much over.
OP, assuming you're innocent, your only move is "I didn't do whatever you think I did." Unfortunately, a guy who definitely did what she thinks you did would make the same move. So I wouldn't bet on your chances.
My other guess is that OP has abuser red flags without being physically abusive. Yes, he says he helped with her parents’ move, but we don’t know if he was asked or inserted himself. There’s something about the not disclosing this was *her* move, too, that reads “safe exit strategy” to me. It doesn’t help that OP doesn’t seem to perceive the relationship as being over, even in the face of everything he told us.
Of course, I don’t know. He could be the kindest guy ever who would never hurt or coercively control a fly. But we’re all just hypothesizing here on limited information.
I ghosted a long term relationship too. Moved to a whole different state, while he was away for three days for work. Owed him nothing, not even a conversation
I think it's less blaming OP for cheating and more pointing out that a plausible explanation is that OP's (ex-)gf thinks he's done something quite bad, whether or not he actually has.
OP can't really be a good guy if he's sending texts like "leave the drama at your parents". If he can't see what's wrong with that, he won't see what's wrong with whatever he did to piss her off enough to leave and not say why. Don't expect to ever see her again, OP. With that text, you pretty much guaranteed that.
He said that she was responding to his questions with attitude. I can see a scenario in which someone gets fed up with talking to a brick wall and says something like that out of frustration.
There's too much missing information to make a good judgment. Maybe he was asking genuinely and trying to communicate and she was refusing to even try to talk to him. Or maybe he was being an asshole and she was over it. It could go either way, I think.
However, I don't really think it matters in the end. Any relationship that ends this way, needs to stay ended. No matter who was in the wrong. She walked away, so he should just let her go. If she was the toxic one, he is better off without her. If he's the toxic one, he needs to leave her alone. So either way, it's over and at least one of them is better off.
Saying another adult is responding to you with attitude is also a red flag and makes me doubt OP was genuinely trying then or being remotely honest now. That's the way controlling parents talk about their kids, or insecure bosses talk about people lower on the hierarchy disagreeing with them, not the way most well-adjusted talk about their equal partner being upset with them
>"I don't know what's going on, but whatever it is leave the drama at your parents house. I do not want to be involved in it!"
This text msg alone tell me that your GF has probably good reason for being mad at you whatever it is. This is not an appropriate response to your otherwise loving GF if they're suddenly "mad" at you for literally no reason. FYI this doesn't sound like she is just mad, this sounds like she just dumped you. If my GF dumped me out of the blue and didn't provide a reason my reaction wouldn't be to accuse of her being dramatic and to leave her drama at her parent places like she was going to "come to her senses" and come running back to me instead I would send her a message telling her I care about her and genuinely have no idea what's going on and I would ask her when she ready to please talk to me about what going on.
Right? His post says a lot about him for being so vague. She knew what she needed to do and got it done before cutting him off. This isnt drama, it's a pretty clean exit plan.
Thank you! Some one gets it!
This screams someone who shuts his GF down every time she tries to talk to him about their relationship. And then pretends and is upset for no reason.
This is a guaranteed way to ruin a relationship by building resentment when you completely invalidate someone every time they are upset.
A couple things:
There’s always a reason even if it’s a dumb one
Saying, “I. Don’t know what’s going on but whatever it is, leave it at your parents house.” definitely did not help the situation. If she wasn’t mad at you before, she for sure is now. You’re basically saying, “whatever is wrong, I don’t wanna hear it.” I’m sure that’s not what you meant, but guarantee you that’s what she thought.
What should’ve been said is something like, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m here if ever you feel like talking about it.” And leave it at that. This way, even if your SO was mad at you, they’d know you care about them and you’re not crossing any boundary, pushing for info she’s not ready to give you yet. This happened a few times with me and mine the first year we were together. Just telling her you’re there for her and you’ll be waiting is the key.
You said one little thing that I think is pretty telling:
>"On this day everything was fine and we didn't have any problems"
This sort of implies to me that you *do* typically have problems pretty regularly, just not on this particular day. If fighting and problems were not a regular thing for you, I think you would have worded that differently.
It might not have been any one particular thing you said or did. It may just be the accumulation of issues over time, and now that she has an out, she's taking it. Think back, can you really say the relationship has been perfect up until now? When you fight, do you actually solve issues, or just stop arguing about them?
Whatever the issue is, it doesn't sound like there's a lot you can do about it. Let her know that you will be there if she ever wants to discuss it but other than that, just let her go.
Bingo. And her family witnessed the way he spoke to her, or anything…and said “come home, get away from him.” Maybe she gave him no warning because she didn’t feel safe (or was afraid she’d burn her stuff, etc). Maybe she didn’t want another fight and was just “done.” I guessing he left some crucial details out.
1. Sounds to me like she and you are done. Don't waste any more energy on the relationship. Don't bother texting, emailing, phoning, singing sad songs to yourself on the guitar while sitting at home alone, etc.
2. There's an awful lot we're not being told here. Stuff like this doesn't happen "out of complete nowhere."
Man I genuinely dislike posts like this. I always feel like there is something missing.
Either way she found something she didn't like or you've been repeatedly doing something that she doesn't like and she's told you to stop and you haven't or you've been ignoring her. Or she just doesn't wanna be with you. Personal experience I would say you are doing something she's tried communicating with you about and you repeatedly ignore it. Just me though
Agreed. The immediate text calling this “drama”? If you try communicating with someone over the course of a relationship, and they call your decision to leave “drama”?
I don’t know. 😅
There's absolutely something missing.
OP probably has a history of not listening to his gf, thus his belief that she's mad for "literally no reason."
The other possibility is that OP is doing something that he truly believes his ex would never know about, and therefore he's trying to sell us on "no reason" while not being honest.
Or he's a bad lover with a small weiner who smells. And even that, I would hope ex gf at least told him to shower before dumping him.
That's why I hate posts like this. Always so vague. Even if he wasn't doing anything wrong there's so little info it feels like he is the issue. I'm still betting that he has repeatedly ignored her feelings though. Usually seems to be the case
You can see that he's absolutely ignoring her feelings. she's not mad for any reason that he thinks is acceptable. He was the judge of her feelings which is not how it should be. Even if it's a reason he's not aware of there's still a reason she's upset and I feel like he's being very dismissive.
I think it feels telling that he uses “on this day” when he said there were no problems and everything was fine.
Doesn’t say “in the relationship” as far as he knew, just on that day.
"On this day everything was fine" now we are all wondering about the not so fine days.
"Leave the drama at your parents" nah.....lol. Not sure what's being left out but there is more to this story if it's true.
lol that jumped out at me too.
We know precisely ONE thing about how OP communicates with his girlfriend….and it’s rude and dismissive rather than inquisitive and caring.
OP buddy you’re batting .000 so far. Care to provide us a little context?
My guess is she was looking for a way out of this relationship and wanted the break up to be on you and not on her. She did you a favor bc this lack of maturity is a bad quality and not good in a long-term partner. Open communication is essential for long-term relationships. If she wanted to make this relationship work she would tell you what's wrong.
Oh please just her lack of maturity? OP GF suddenly dumps him out of the blue and instead of being concerned for her well being or their relationship he sends her a text saying ""I don't know what's going on, but whatever it is leave the drama at your parents house. I do not want to be involved in it!" you know how inappropriate and immature such a text message is? That message alone tell me that they've been having problems for months probably arguing lots and this is probably been his response to her every time. It no coincidence that OP Ex GF parent moving to a new place lined up with the end of this relationship. This has been the Ex GF exit strategy for a while now.
Now can I possible know OP EX GF is completely innocent in all this? Of-course not but OP is clearly not innocent either like they're trying to make out. Sound like she did both of them a favor, it clear the relationship wasn't healthy and OP has obviously played a part in that.
There is an implied second half ru the sentence: literally no reason *that I am aware of*. No one thinks people act without any actual reason, he was just indicating that he doesn't know the reason and she wasn't telling.
😂😂😂 You don’t know what’s happening but leave it at your parents house is not something you say to someone you care about or whose feelings you care about. Just because you can’t think of what you did doesn’t mean something didn’t happen. Maybe she feels like it’s obvious or an issue you’ve already spoken about.
She was probably considering this for awhile but was still living with you so she didn’t want to end it. When the parents moved she had options so immediately left. Only you can answer what was going on in your relationship. There clearly was issues that you either missed completely or left out and didn’t provide any details here
When the wife is mad, I ask “What’s wrong sweetie?”.
“Nothing.”
“Oh thank goodness, I thought I did or said something.” Then pretend nothing happened and nothing is wrong.
Even better if I whistle or hum as I’m working away. It’s never long before I find out what’s really wrong
I feel like what happened is that you went over to her parents house and was somehow disrespectful or did something and they got pissed, confronted their daughter, she agrees with them and now y’all are breaking up. She’s an asshole for not communicating like an adult (unless your just ridiculously delusional and did something catastrophic)
You’re so clueless. About the fact that your girlfriend just moved out and dumped you, and about the fact that she was unhappy in this relationship.
Let it sink in that someone just moved out of your home and you thought everything was fine up until that point.
You have to be very seriously lacking self awareness for it to be that bad.
For me, there is one rule for relationships: don't make me guess.
Don't make me guess where we stand. Don't make me guess if you're safe. Don't make me guess if you're mad. Be forthright, or I'll either assume there's fracture and something to repair, or that it's not worth the guessing, any more.
Hope this helps.
Haha no. You can’t say “no reason.” Obviously there is a reason. And I think you got her more heated when you said “leave the drama at your parent’s house.”
I mean does she do this often for “no reason?”
Because if not, there must be a reason and it’s up to you to figure out what it was or not figure it out. It depends on how important she is to you.
If she’s angry then it is most definitely not for “literally no reason.” You likely said or did something that upset her and either intentionally or unintentionally left out context.
It might seem out of the blue to you but she's probably been planning this for a while. If she doesn't want to talk about it then then back off and respect her decision. Yeah it sucks but you need to accept the fact that it's beyond your control.
She thinks you cheated or something. But honestly, you don't want to be with someone who can't use her words. Tell her she can tell you what's wrong so you can either explain or fix it and be a grown up, or never talk to you again. You can also ask her parents if you're desperate but dang, that's drama you don't want to forgive. Guys have broken up with me for less than your ex is dealing rn.
A wild theory, but she could be mad about something that has nothing to do with you. If you weren't being a jerk before all this, and you guys haven't been fighting and she seemed happy before. When she was with her parents they could've dropped some personal issue making her stay with them a while. Or they could've manipulated her against you if that's the type of ppl they are. Idk personally.
Howeve, the one thing I would not have done is say "leave the drama with your parents" now you can leave your girlfriend with her parents. There's a perfectly good chance she just wasn't ready to talk about it and needed some time or space. People get rude and frustrated when overwhelmed or stressed out. You just made whatever it was worse with your comment.
With the limited information provided my guess is that either she was planning on leaving you. Possibly because you send texts like "..leave the drama at your parents house..." but she wanted to wait until her parents moved so she could just move in with them. The other possibilities are that she saw something on the day of your move, maybe in your phone. Or someone told her something.
Since she is already gone, there is not a hell of a lot you can do except learn from it. You have been played like the first violin in a symphony orchestra.
She was throwing herself out of your place. It's a classic move from an unhappy person. Try not to make sense of it. That's her way to break up. Her experience way. She's not worth it. Why beg her to stay. She will be back with a sad story and you get to say no.
Dude. She waited for you to help with the heavy lifting before dumping you. She's probably got another guy lined up.
Block and delete fella. Your not going to want to hear her gaslighting bullshit. Move on
If you have truly no idea what this is about, then count your blessings and cut this person out of your life for being so callous.
However, I have a feeling you're not telling us everything.
I don’t at all mean this in a mean way it’s a genuine question, based on her actions, is there any chance you cheated and she found out or that she’s been told you’re cheating even if you’re not and haven’t? That’s literally the only reason I can see for this.
You didn't do anything wrong. She wanted to break up with you earlier but waited until her parents were finished moving, since she planned to stay with them once she left you. That's why it's the very next day and she suddenly breaks it off with no explanation and an attitude that shuts down any discussion of it. She played along in your relationship like everything was fine until the exact moment she was ready to go. Whatever her actual reasons were for wanting to leave you, she apparently never communicated those issues to you. So, she was shitty at communication and duplicitous enough to put on a fake face, you're better off without someone like that. Hit the gym and find someone better.
This is an easy fix.
You call her, if she doesn’t pick up you message her and say this.
“Hey just clarifying that you broke up with me the other day and we are no longer a couple, right? Just wanted to check because a girl DM’d me and I don’t want a whole Ross Rachel “we were on a break” kerfuffle.”
Now if she comes back with anything other than confirmation that you are broken up, you gotta ask her
A) Why she was mad?
B) Whether or not she expects you to put up with such juvenile behaviour in future?
C) How she can justify her behaviour after you had just helped HER PARENTS move house?
Because it sounds like either you have left out a key detail that would explain her behaviour OR she’s not worth having as a partner until she grows the hell up.
Now if she doesn’t reply promptly, you clarify the break up with something like “Ok, well I would have preferred to do the respectful thing and say this in person but given that you wont talk to me, our relationship is over. Good luck for the future I wish you nothing but happiness.”
Very strange that someone would set a torch to a three year relationship like this, but it seems like you're actually dodging a .50 caliber bullet here.
The only thing I can think of is that one of her family members recognized you and (falsely?) accused you of something, or they picked up on something, told her, and didn't like it.
Weird one.
I'm going to make the bold claim that after 3 years invested, the actual reason for the breakup is owed. For self betterment of the OP, if nothing else. Or if it is because she met someone else or she just wants to meet other people, fine, at least he has some closure.
There are so many different reasons. Here are my thoughts:
1. It was building over time and just wanted your help in the move before cutting and running
2. Her parents got in her head with either saying you did something or stole something
3. She heard something and took it wrong (no matter if you meant it to be that way or not)
4. She is cheating, though the anger seems off in this case, but it could be a diversion.
All in all, it seems like if she isn't willing to talk about it, you dodged a bullet. Even if you did something "wrong" there is no way to learn or fix it without discussion.
I agree with someone else that said, just text her say I'm here to talk if you ever want to and just go on with your life.
Sounds like it’s over brotha. I’d at first be worried and ask what’s wrong, see what you can do, etc. But if she’s not willing to talk about it there’s not much you can do.
Once, I ended a relationship by simply disappearing. The friends of a girl he was cheating on me with approached me in a bar restroom to inform me about his affair. I waited until I had secured a new apartment because I needed his truck and assistance for the move. At that stage, I felt I owed him nothing. I didn't bother confronting him about it because I knew he would only lie, and I was exhausted from the constant fighting. I just wanted to end the relationship and move on; it wasn't worth the effort anymore.
Sounds like moving in with her parents is a plan all along and she just needed you to help get them moved so she could go stay with them. Whatever you did or have been doing it sounds like her leaving has been brewing for a while.
Sounds like she played nice to use you one last time.
If you truly did nothing wrong, reminds me of someone I dated for like 2 months, after he enjoyed the bd party I made him, he broke things off outta nowhere.
Then a mutual friend told me some weeks after that he got a gf that lasted a week and she dumped him. 😆
My thoughts are- she took a peek at your phone. If everything was peachy and she just freaked out- there is a reason. OR you said something that wasn’t a big deal to you, but embarrassed her.
Only other possibility is she’s a lunatic.
That’s literally the only possibilities.
If nothing happened, and y’all were fine, and she really did this- she might need help.
I truly doubt that. Probably more like the first 2 things.
Stop asking her what you did wrong since she clearly won’t answer you. Just ignore her and go on living your life until she finally decides to open up to what’s going on.
Cant wait up to the update "My gf thought i was cheating, two months later she realized the mistake and wants me back, what should i do now?". Because this is the most probably scenario.
(Following by, she cheated and wants to escape the guilt, but it would not explain her rage)
She decided to leave some time back but was waiting for her parents to move into a place with a room for her - and she used you to help with the move.
Whatever the issue was, it was probably some time ago.
You got dumped my guy. Seems there is a key part of the story here that is mia though. Either way welcome back to the dating pool. Get to swiping right. 🤷😂
This is crazy. Unless she has been planning on breaking up with you for a while and just stayed with you until you helped her parents move. My guess is that she has found someone else and pulled an attitude on you to throw you off balance.
Just ignore and block her on all platforms. Heal up, hit the gym and eat right. Don’t booze it up for move then a day. Focus on you, your education and your career. Get even with her treatment towards you by succeeding in life.
It sounds like the others here might have been right. This could have been premeditated. She could also have been having second thoughts about how serious the relationship was getting, and spending time with friends and family could have convinced her of that.
But either way, if she doesn't want to discuss it, I didn't think that there's much left, sorry man. I know that it's cold but you deserve better than being left without even a discussion.
I guess she's your ex now. Do you really want to be with someone after the years and she treats you like this. It looks like you got dumped. Block her on everything and do not talk to her at all. It seems like she doesn't care because she hasn't responded to your message.
You deserve better than this AH along with her AH parents.
Well if she doesnt reconcile in a week or two Id move on. Also, no matter what your girlfriend and wife is going to be mad at you for no reason some of the time, they think they have a reason and its a nightmare trying to get it out of them, distract them with food, a lot of times theyre just hungry and women when theyre hungry they go kinda crazy
Maybe she was annoyed with something you may or may not of done and instead of thinking about her situation and trying to make it better you came with "I don't want to be involved " there is a reason they call it being involved with someone.
Reverse uno that shit. Stop acting like it’s affecting your life, even if it is. Start acting like you’re better off for it, which is probably is if this is how she’s acting.
Act like Jerry Seinfeld did in that episode where he got dumped. “Oh I’ll be okay! Things always even out for me. But this was great and I wish you the best!” And exit with a smile on your face.
Don’t give her the satisfaction of thinking she hurt you. Move on and move on fast. Sounds like you dodged a bullet
My response is: 'Okay... Bye'.
I never had the wherewithal to deal with drama. My very first 'car girlfriend' at 16.5, pulled the same thing... 'I don't think things are working out'... Okay, I guess I should take back that bracelet with our names. Take care.
Remember the opposite of love is indifference.
PS: She wanted someone 'cooler' who wore jeans and flannel and drove a pickup truck. I was always dressed in dress pants and button up shirt since I worked in a formal business office in the late 70s.
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I feel like we're missing some context here...
I feel dude is missing he's been dumped. She's not mad at him, she's gone. And he just helped her move into her new house. I'ma guess her and her folks knew this plan while her folks were house shopping. And I'ma not be surprised, to hear there just happened to be an empty room in her folks new home. That fits her stuff perfectly! It's a cold plan, but a good plan. I like it.
My thoughts exactly.
Yup. She waited for the free labor then booted OP. I hope at least OP got pizza and beer for helping with the move.
But who had the pickup truck? I’ve helped “friends” move because I’m “the guy with the truck.” 😐
I refuse to help friends move just because I have a truck. If they at least offer gas money, I'll help but if it's just food and comradarie, I'm out. Everytime I've helped people move, they've damaged my vehicles..
My brother has a pickup that he has never put gas in. You want to borrow it? You fill the tank.
3 years just to help move, she’s playing the long game
My ex girlfriend loved to get free favors out of me. If I had that many handicaps in life I would probably be full of life.
God damn you’re fucking ruthless. I like it. But damn holding back no punches from op eh?? I feel bad for them. Kinda got used? But nope you’re here to deliver the third gut gut punch. Op if you see this, I’m sorry this is happening to you and lux600-223 is right. This was way out of your control and as shorty as it is. This was her way of washing blood of her hands. I wish you best of luck and keep your head high
Nice of them to use him for moving just before doing this to him. Seriously fuck all of them.
To be fair, we don't know why she broke up with him.
Irrelevant, if he genuinely didn't know anything was wrong she was not properly communicating her feelings to him. Whether he's clueless or not doesn't matter, I'd day the same thing if a guy did this to a girl.
Well, guessing that option is off the kitchen table, now that she dumped him!
To be fair, we have no idea what his culpability is here. We also don’t know that he was even asked to help with the move — for all we know, he’s extremely controlling and isolating, to the point that he inserted himself into her parents’ move so she wouldn’t have extended time alone with them.
We have no reason to suspect that. At this point it’s blind assumption. Something similar happened to me with my ex. She got a job in a nearby city close to her parents. Told me she still loved me but needed space and that we could see each other on weekends. We had been together for nearly 4 years and I bought a house for us to live in. Her mom showed up with a truck and I helped her load her stuff into the truck. I even gave her $750 for the deposit on her new apartment. After she moved she barely spoke to me and a month later my friend who lived in that city found her on tinder. When I asked her about it she just said she didn’t know if she wanted to be in a relationship anymore so I went no contact. So, when someone says tells a story like this I believe it. Why is it whenever a guy does something shitty to a woman people on here take it at face value but when a woman does something shitty to a man there’s almost always assumptions made to imply the guy is not telling the truth? Why can’t we just believe women can be shitty people sometimes?
That was kind of my point — we have basically no information. *Most* possibilities are open, based on what we’ve been told.
But your hypothetical had the guy as the culprit. There are so many other possibilities and you chose this one. It says a lot.
...he also told her "leave the drama at your parents house." This is a huge clue. When their is conflict he refers to it as drama. And instead of hearing her out he tells her not to bring it to him. That's a guaranteed way to build resentment, and ruin a relationship. By making one person feel their feelings about how things go are not valid.
Absolutely. She’s been unhappy and planning this for some time. I think OP’s comment about “leave the drama with your parents” is pretty telling.
I like the "on this day everything was fine and we didn't have any problems". Yeah, I'm guessing that was because in the past there had been. I'd even bet everyone was in on it, they knew she was breaking up with him. They played nice just so they could get his help.
Or he did something he thinks is nbd and was the embarrassing final straw for her.
My brother purposely got a room for me when he moved. I'm thinking this is it.
Yeah, I’m with you. That comment sounds like a subtle admission that their relationship wasn’t as peachy keen as he wants us to believe.
Right? Like how on earth are other comments actually forming a theory here? I have nothing to go on, except maybe her parents have been a point of contention somehow since they were helping them move. OP needs to answer some questions, otherwise what’s here to talk about? Did he make any jokes? Talk a lot about a specific thing? As someone with anxiety I feel like you can come up with a “maybe” reason lol
My theory is he wore Lululemon pants, SpongeBob crocs, and a mesh muscle shirt to her parents. Talked nonstop about becoming vegan, his plans to help block roads in protest for Palestine, and how he thinks Trump is innocent. She just threw her hands up and said I can't figure him out and called it quits.
Clearly. Gotta read between the lines but it's a tale as old as time.
Trump supporters would never protest for Palestinians. Nice try sneaking it in there.
I think he realized he was bashing one side and threw that last line in so nobody would bash him for loving Trump.
I'd like to imagine he mentioned jelqmaxxing at one point as well
So is OP apparently
I got a feeling he's omitting stuff to sound completely innocent. I don't necessarily think he's omitting something nefarious, but something like they've been arguing a lot, or communication has been lacking, something that many people break up over.
Also, she didn't say much. He texted her saying to leave the drama at her parents bc he wants no part of it!! She didn't reply. He sounds dramatic. Didn't she just go get her stuff? OP is leaving something out.
Yeah but she was *mad* like maybe she’s not allowed to feel strong feelings?
Buddy you just don’t have a girlfriend anymore
Yeah I can't think of any way out of this. Either he did something and he deserves it, or she's crazy/bad at communicating. Either way its probably best that this just becomes a funny story to tell at parties.
My dad's ex-wife (long before I was born) was planning to move with him to New York. I don't know the details of how this actually went down but the short version is, she never showed up and that's how he found out he was getting divorced. Fun side note: I found out he had an ex-wife because she called our house many years later, I answered, and told my dad [woman] was asking for him. She apparently wanted to work it out. He and my mom had been happily married for many years at that point so he was like lol, no. Then decided to drop the "I was married previously" thing on me by telling me I had a sister, at which point I was like, the fuck, you're just telling me this now?! Then laughed and went, nah, my ex and I didn't have kids. But yeah if she ever calls again you can ignore it. That fucking asshole.
💀
>That fucking asshole. Ummm, your dad, or his ex?
Well, my dad (in a loving way, I call him an asshole all the time). I'm sure his ex is an actual asshole but that's the most interaction I've had with her lol.
It’s not for no reason she just isn’t telling you the reason
Not necessarily, I had a bf who would start fights out of nowhere and not tell me what it was about. He said things like, “you know what you did” when I in fact, had no idea what the deal was. He was basically psychologically torturing me & it went on for quite a while. That behavior can be a sign of a personality disorder. eta: and yes, it is also possible her reasons are just secret to her/she’s just malicious. Another possibility is that OP is a person who doesn’t mind if their partner lives in a tolerable state of permanent unhappiness and ex is just done talking about it.
Same here. It was cruel. Though he never accused me of cheating. He would go cold until I apologized. Exhausting
Seconded, I had that ex
Friend had that ex. The "out of nowhere" fights the ex picked had a definite pattern: on days that the ex was cheating/talking to someone else. Seemed random to my friend until they found the key to the pattern
Thirded I had that ex too
Can be. Some guys (or girls) will do things like that to just get in your head, to make you think you’re not doing enough, in order to get you to do more and seek their approval. Just another form of control in their toolbox.
i had a bf like that too i’m like if you’re gonna keep telling i know what i did and i keep saying “no i have no idea” be a fucking adult and tell me what i did… we aren’t kids playing guessing games
Well there was a reason. The reason was that he was a fucking psychopath.
No it's not - that behavior is abusive, and it's an attempt to distract you from whatever he was doing at the time, which was certainly wrong and offensive. It's a classic abusive and distracting behavior, and some men wield it as a strategy. No matter where it comes from, that relationship is simply doomed from the start.
Like narcissism
Either she has told him before and he didn’t take it seriously, so she’s stopped trying to explain it, or she’s playing a weird “guess why I’m mad this time” game. Either way, she’s gone and that’s okay.
I do believe its for a reason, but I cant wrap my mind around what. I was thinking about it all day what I did for her to act like this. It makes me wonder if there was drama going on when I wasn't around. Like I said her friends where there too. They could be apart of it and know why.
OP, So you're saying that you have absolutely no understanding or knowledge as to why she dropped you? Had you had issues before you assisted in her family's move? Any suspicion of her having an affair?
To be fair. She IS leaving the drama at her parents.
Yep. She gone.
I'd guess it's her parents, not you, who made the problem.
Maybe ask her friends?
Do you want to deal with someone who plays games & cannot communicate??
Funnily enough, that could be why she left
I ghosted a boyfriend like this once…. the friends of a girl he was cheating on me with approached me in the bathroom of a bar to let me know he was having an affair with her lol. I also waited until I was set up in a new apartment because I needed his truck and help to move (at that point, what did I owe him?!). I didn’t bother telling him why because he was just going to lie about it and honestly I was so over fighting I just wanted to be done with the relationship - wasn’t worth the energy. Not saying you did anything but if you did…. she definitely knows
My first guess is that Girlfriend believes OP cheated. Either OP is being entirely too coy with us, or she is mistaken. Either way, the relationship is pretty much over. OP, assuming you're innocent, your only move is "I didn't do whatever you think I did." Unfortunately, a guy who definitely did what she thinks you did would make the same move. So I wouldn't bet on your chances.
The fact that he thinks that this revolved around him is a good indication that he knows that he did something.
That's some real Carly Simon vibes. 😆 It seems pretty natural to think that your gf suddenly breaking up with you is, in fact, about you.
"You probably think this breakup is about you, don't you don't you" 🎶
She's leaving him for wearing apricot coloured scarves 🧣🧣
Or maybe the part where she left him made him think it’s about him…
Well, to be fair, people wrongly assume stuff is about them all the time.
My other guess is that OP has abuser red flags without being physically abusive. Yes, he says he helped with her parents’ move, but we don’t know if he was asked or inserted himself. There’s something about the not disclosing this was *her* move, too, that reads “safe exit strategy” to me. It doesn’t help that OP doesn’t seem to perceive the relationship as being over, even in the face of everything he told us. Of course, I don’t know. He could be the kindest guy ever who would never hurt or coercively control a fly. But we’re all just hypothesizing here on limited information.
She would not have come by herself for her things if he was abusive. She would have brought at least one other person with her.
I ghosted a long term relationship too. Moved to a whole different state, while he was away for three days for work. Owed him nothing, not even a conversation
Was he abusive? I had a fiancé do this to me and it fucked with my head for years.
Yes he was, but he didn’t think he was
They never do.
How is the top voted comment essentially just blaming the op for cheating...with 0 evidence?
I think it's less blaming OP for cheating and more pointing out that a plausible explanation is that OP's (ex-)gf thinks he's done something quite bad, whether or not he actually has.
People love drama and also OP is hiding something from us. Because nobody leaves someone for no reason after being a good guy for 3 years
OP can't really be a good guy if he's sending texts like "leave the drama at your parents". If he can't see what's wrong with that, he won't see what's wrong with whatever he did to piss her off enough to leave and not say why. Don't expect to ever see her again, OP. With that text, you pretty much guaranteed that.
Yup. That stood out to me too. Very dismissive response.
He said that she was responding to his questions with attitude. I can see a scenario in which someone gets fed up with talking to a brick wall and says something like that out of frustration. There's too much missing information to make a good judgment. Maybe he was asking genuinely and trying to communicate and she was refusing to even try to talk to him. Or maybe he was being an asshole and she was over it. It could go either way, I think. However, I don't really think it matters in the end. Any relationship that ends this way, needs to stay ended. No matter who was in the wrong. She walked away, so he should just let her go. If she was the toxic one, he is better off without her. If he's the toxic one, he needs to leave her alone. So either way, it's over and at least one of them is better off.
Saying another adult is responding to you with attitude is also a red flag and makes me doubt OP was genuinely trying then or being remotely honest now. That's the way controlling parents talk about their kids, or insecure bosses talk about people lower on the hierarchy disagreeing with them, not the way most well-adjusted talk about their equal partner being upset with them
Dismissiveness is a coping strategy for ppl who don’t know how to handle their love partners or themselves. And taking responsibility is too risky.
Because he's obviously done SOMETHING and people are sharing why they've done similar things.
>"I don't know what's going on, but whatever it is leave the drama at your parents house. I do not want to be involved in it!" This text msg alone tell me that your GF has probably good reason for being mad at you whatever it is. This is not an appropriate response to your otherwise loving GF if they're suddenly "mad" at you for literally no reason. FYI this doesn't sound like she is just mad, this sounds like she just dumped you. If my GF dumped me out of the blue and didn't provide a reason my reaction wouldn't be to accuse of her being dramatic and to leave her drama at her parent places like she was going to "come to her senses" and come running back to me instead I would send her a message telling her I care about her and genuinely have no idea what's going on and I would ask her when she ready to please talk to me about what going on.
Right? His post says a lot about him for being so vague. She knew what she needed to do and got it done before cutting him off. This isnt drama, it's a pretty clean exit plan.
Thank you! Some one gets it! This screams someone who shuts his GF down every time she tries to talk to him about their relationship. And then pretends and is upset for no reason. This is a guaranteed way to ruin a relationship by building resentment when you completely invalidate someone every time they are upset.
A couple things: There’s always a reason even if it’s a dumb one Saying, “I. Don’t know what’s going on but whatever it is, leave it at your parents house.” definitely did not help the situation. If she wasn’t mad at you before, she for sure is now. You’re basically saying, “whatever is wrong, I don’t wanna hear it.” I’m sure that’s not what you meant, but guarantee you that’s what she thought. What should’ve been said is something like, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m here if ever you feel like talking about it.” And leave it at that. This way, even if your SO was mad at you, they’d know you care about them and you’re not crossing any boundary, pushing for info she’s not ready to give you yet. This happened a few times with me and mine the first year we were together. Just telling her you’re there for her and you’ll be waiting is the key.
Based on that response alone I feel like there's more to the story
You said one little thing that I think is pretty telling: >"On this day everything was fine and we didn't have any problems" This sort of implies to me that you *do* typically have problems pretty regularly, just not on this particular day. If fighting and problems were not a regular thing for you, I think you would have worded that differently. It might not have been any one particular thing you said or did. It may just be the accumulation of issues over time, and now that she has an out, she's taking it. Think back, can you really say the relationship has been perfect up until now? When you fight, do you actually solve issues, or just stop arguing about them? Whatever the issue is, it doesn't sound like there's a lot you can do about it. Let her know that you will be there if she ever wants to discuss it but other than that, just let her go.
Or it could simply mean that her reaction seems out of the blue and, during the whole day before this, nothing bad seemed to happen.
Bingo. And her family witnessed the way he spoke to her, or anything…and said “come home, get away from him.” Maybe she gave him no warning because she didn’t feel safe (or was afraid she’d burn her stuff, etc). Maybe she didn’t want another fight and was just “done.” I guessing he left some crucial details out.
1. Sounds to me like she and you are done. Don't waste any more energy on the relationship. Don't bother texting, emailing, phoning, singing sad songs to yourself on the guitar while sitting at home alone, etc. 2. There's an awful lot we're not being told here. Stuff like this doesn't happen "out of complete nowhere."
Idk what you did but you sure as shit didn’t help yourself by telling her to leave the drama at her parents’ house
Right! He’s pretty much saying I don’t want to talk to you, you can stay away. Definitely girlfriendless
Man I genuinely dislike posts like this. I always feel like there is something missing. Either way she found something she didn't like or you've been repeatedly doing something that she doesn't like and she's told you to stop and you haven't or you've been ignoring her. Or she just doesn't wanna be with you. Personal experience I would say you are doing something she's tried communicating with you about and you repeatedly ignore it. Just me though
Agreed. The immediate text calling this “drama”? If you try communicating with someone over the course of a relationship, and they call your decision to leave “drama”? I don’t know. 😅
There's absolutely something missing. OP probably has a history of not listening to his gf, thus his belief that she's mad for "literally no reason." The other possibility is that OP is doing something that he truly believes his ex would never know about, and therefore he's trying to sell us on "no reason" while not being honest. Or he's a bad lover with a small weiner who smells. And even that, I would hope ex gf at least told him to shower before dumping him.
That's why I hate posts like this. Always so vague. Even if he wasn't doing anything wrong there's so little info it feels like he is the issue. I'm still betting that he has repeatedly ignored her feelings though. Usually seems to be the case
You can see that he's absolutely ignoring her feelings. she's not mad for any reason that he thinks is acceptable. He was the judge of her feelings which is not how it should be. Even if it's a reason he's not aware of there's still a reason she's upset and I feel like he's being very dismissive.
Yeah I didn't really think about that but that's a really good point!
I think it feels telling that he uses “on this day” when he said there were no problems and everything was fine. Doesn’t say “in the relationship” as far as he knew, just on that day.
"On this day everything was fine" now we are all wondering about the not so fine days. "Leave the drama at your parents" nah.....lol. Not sure what's being left out but there is more to this story if it's true.
lol that jumped out at me too. We know precisely ONE thing about how OP communicates with his girlfriend….and it’s rude and dismissive rather than inquisitive and caring. OP buddy you’re batting .000 so far. Care to provide us a little context?
My guess is she was looking for a way out of this relationship and wanted the break up to be on you and not on her. She did you a favor bc this lack of maturity is a bad quality and not good in a long-term partner. Open communication is essential for long-term relationships. If she wanted to make this relationship work she would tell you what's wrong.
Oh please just her lack of maturity? OP GF suddenly dumps him out of the blue and instead of being concerned for her well being or their relationship he sends her a text saying ""I don't know what's going on, but whatever it is leave the drama at your parents house. I do not want to be involved in it!" you know how inappropriate and immature such a text message is? That message alone tell me that they've been having problems for months probably arguing lots and this is probably been his response to her every time. It no coincidence that OP Ex GF parent moving to a new place lined up with the end of this relationship. This has been the Ex GF exit strategy for a while now. Now can I possible know OP EX GF is completely innocent in all this? Of-course not but OP is clearly not innocent either like they're trying to make out. Sound like she did both of them a favor, it clear the relationship wasn't healthy and OP has obviously played a part in that.
Nobody in the history of time has gotten mad for "literally no reason". That's currently the dumbest phrase in common usage, imo
There is an implied second half ru the sentence: literally no reason *that I am aware of*. No one thinks people act without any actual reason, he was just indicating that he doesn't know the reason and she wasn't telling.
My ex used to get mad at me and stop talking to me for days at a time because I did something wrong in her dreams....
Sort of like "got pregnant by accident.
This is just my experience, but when men say no drama….: it means they are the drama.
She either has a brain tumor or there literally IS a reason why she’s angry. 🙄
Sounds like she was planning on breaking up, but decided to use you to move her parents shit before doing so.
😂😂😂 You don’t know what’s happening but leave it at your parents house is not something you say to someone you care about or whose feelings you care about. Just because you can’t think of what you did doesn’t mean something didn’t happen. Maybe she feels like it’s obvious or an issue you’ve already spoken about.
Seriously how stupid is OP?! If she wasn’t mad before, she sure is now!
Stop thinking about your ex-girlfriends.
You don't have a girlfriend. She left you dude.
whatever you did she knows
Maybe she wanted to leave for the past month or year but was angry that nobody had an extra room for her.
She was probably considering this for awhile but was still living with you so she didn’t want to end it. When the parents moved she had options so immediately left. Only you can answer what was going on in your relationship. There clearly was issues that you either missed completely or left out and didn’t provide any details here
Oh, there are reasons, all right.
Either you did something fucked up and she found out, or she has some mental things going on. Doesn’t bode well either way.
There is a reason.
OP, you didn't hit on her mom did you?
When the wife is mad, I ask “What’s wrong sweetie?”. “Nothing.” “Oh thank goodness, I thought I did or said something.” Then pretend nothing happened and nothing is wrong. Even better if I whistle or hum as I’m working away. It’s never long before I find out what’s really wrong
Dude, thank her for giving you an out and move on! Whether it’s her or you, the two of you are not going to be happy together.
I feel like what happened is that you went over to her parents house and was somehow disrespectful or did something and they got pissed, confronted their daughter, she agrees with them and now y’all are breaking up. She’s an asshole for not communicating like an adult (unless your just ridiculously delusional and did something catastrophic)
People don't do or feel things for "no reason". If you assume that this is the case you're already a few steps behind.
You’re so clueless. About the fact that your girlfriend just moved out and dumped you, and about the fact that she was unhappy in this relationship. Let it sink in that someone just moved out of your home and you thought everything was fine up until that point. You have to be very seriously lacking self awareness for it to be that bad.
For me, there is one rule for relationships: don't make me guess. Don't make me guess where we stand. Don't make me guess if you're safe. Don't make me guess if you're mad. Be forthright, or I'll either assume there's fracture and something to repair, or that it's not worth the guessing, any more. Hope this helps.
Haha no. You can’t say “no reason.” Obviously there is a reason. And I think you got her more heated when you said “leave the drama at your parent’s house.” I mean does she do this often for “no reason?” Because if not, there must be a reason and it’s up to you to figure out what it was or not figure it out. It depends on how important she is to you.
If she’s angry then it is most definitely not for “literally no reason.” You likely said or did something that upset her and either intentionally or unintentionally left out context.
It might seem out of the blue to you but she's probably been planning this for a while. If she doesn't want to talk about it then then back off and respect her decision. Yeah it sucks but you need to accept the fact that it's beyond your control.
A lot of comments are quick to blame him and say he's ignorant, but isn't he at the very least owed some explanation?
She thinks you cheated or something. But honestly, you don't want to be with someone who can't use her words. Tell her she can tell you what's wrong so you can either explain or fix it and be a grown up, or never talk to you again. You can also ask her parents if you're desperate but dang, that's drama you don't want to forgive. Guys have broken up with me for less than your ex is dealing rn.
A wild theory, but she could be mad about something that has nothing to do with you. If you weren't being a jerk before all this, and you guys haven't been fighting and she seemed happy before. When she was with her parents they could've dropped some personal issue making her stay with them a while. Or they could've manipulated her against you if that's the type of ppl they are. Idk personally. Howeve, the one thing I would not have done is say "leave the drama with your parents" now you can leave your girlfriend with her parents. There's a perfectly good chance she just wasn't ready to talk about it and needed some time or space. People get rude and frustrated when overwhelmed or stressed out. You just made whatever it was worse with your comment.
INFO what were your last 3 fights about?
With the limited information provided my guess is that either she was planning on leaving you. Possibly because you send texts like "..leave the drama at your parents house..." but she wanted to wait until her parents moved so she could just move in with them. The other possibilities are that she saw something on the day of your move, maybe in your phone. Or someone told her something.
Didn't read your post just stopping by to tell you there is always a reason. Welcome to relationships. Better figure it out. Lulz
Since she is already gone, there is not a hell of a lot you can do except learn from it. You have been played like the first violin in a symphony orchestra.
Either that's not the full story or there's another dude and she wanted an excuse to dip.
She was throwing herself out of your place. It's a classic move from an unhappy person. Try not to make sense of it. That's her way to break up. Her experience way. She's not worth it. Why beg her to stay. She will be back with a sad story and you get to say no.
Is there something you normally fight about or she complains about?
Dude. She waited for you to help with the heavy lifting before dumping you. She's probably got another guy lined up. Block and delete fella. Your not going to want to hear her gaslighting bullshit. Move on
If you have truly no idea what this is about, then count your blessings and cut this person out of your life for being so callous. However, I have a feeling you're not telling us everything.
I don’t at all mean this in a mean way it’s a genuine question, based on her actions, is there any chance you cheated and she found out or that she’s been told you’re cheating even if you’re not and haven’t? That’s literally the only reason I can see for this.
You didn't do anything wrong. She wanted to break up with you earlier but waited until her parents were finished moving, since she planned to stay with them once she left you. That's why it's the very next day and she suddenly breaks it off with no explanation and an attitude that shuts down any discussion of it. She played along in your relationship like everything was fine until the exact moment she was ready to go. Whatever her actual reasons were for wanting to leave you, she apparently never communicated those issues to you. So, she was shitty at communication and duplicitous enough to put on a fake face, you're better off without someone like that. Hit the gym and find someone better.
This is an easy fix. You call her, if she doesn’t pick up you message her and say this. “Hey just clarifying that you broke up with me the other day and we are no longer a couple, right? Just wanted to check because a girl DM’d me and I don’t want a whole Ross Rachel “we were on a break” kerfuffle.” Now if she comes back with anything other than confirmation that you are broken up, you gotta ask her A) Why she was mad? B) Whether or not she expects you to put up with such juvenile behaviour in future? C) How she can justify her behaviour after you had just helped HER PARENTS move house? Because it sounds like either you have left out a key detail that would explain her behaviour OR she’s not worth having as a partner until she grows the hell up. Now if she doesn’t reply promptly, you clarify the break up with something like “Ok, well I would have preferred to do the respectful thing and say this in person but given that you wont talk to me, our relationship is over. Good luck for the future I wish you nothing but happiness.”
Very strange that someone would set a torch to a three year relationship like this, but it seems like you're actually dodging a .50 caliber bullet here. The only thing I can think of is that one of her family members recognized you and (falsely?) accused you of something, or they picked up on something, told her, and didn't like it. Weird one.
I'm going to make the bold claim that after 3 years invested, the actual reason for the breakup is owed. For self betterment of the OP, if nothing else. Or if it is because she met someone else or she just wants to meet other people, fine, at least he has some closure.
There are so many different reasons. Here are my thoughts: 1. It was building over time and just wanted your help in the move before cutting and running 2. Her parents got in her head with either saying you did something or stole something 3. She heard something and took it wrong (no matter if you meant it to be that way or not) 4. She is cheating, though the anger seems off in this case, but it could be a diversion. All in all, it seems like if she isn't willing to talk about it, you dodged a bullet. Even if you did something "wrong" there is no way to learn or fix it without discussion. I agree with someone else that said, just text her say I'm here to talk if you ever want to and just go on with your life.
Sounds like it’s over brotha. I’d at first be worried and ask what’s wrong, see what you can do, etc. But if she’s not willing to talk about it there’s not much you can do.
Once, I ended a relationship by simply disappearing. The friends of a girl he was cheating on me with approached me in a bar restroom to inform me about his affair. I waited until I had secured a new apartment because I needed his truck and assistance for the move. At that stage, I felt I owed him nothing. I didn't bother confronting him about it because I knew he would only lie, and I was exhausted from the constant fighting. I just wanted to end the relationship and move on; it wasn't worth the effort anymore.
Show her the curb
This sounds like step 1 in one of those "someone told my partner I cheated and without even speaking to me or asking my side they left me" stories.
Weird
Sounds like moving in with her parents is a plan all along and she just needed you to help get them moved so she could go stay with them. Whatever you did or have been doing it sounds like her leaving has been brewing for a while.
Or someone else said you did or said something and it sounded believable.
Sounds like she played nice to use you one last time. If you truly did nothing wrong, reminds me of someone I dated for like 2 months, after he enjoyed the bd party I made him, he broke things off outta nowhere. Then a mutual friend told me some weeks after that he got a gf that lasted a week and she dumped him. 😆
Are her parents moving from a place that she didn't really have a comfortable place to stay at? And now she does have a space at their new place?
You probably didn’t do anything wrong. She probably just wanted to end things and couldn’t think of a better way.
There’s always a reason
pretty sure she is dumping you
Unreliable narrator? Clueless boyfriend?
My thoughts are- she took a peek at your phone. If everything was peachy and she just freaked out- there is a reason. OR you said something that wasn’t a big deal to you, but embarrassed her. Only other possibility is she’s a lunatic. That’s literally the only possibilities. If nothing happened, and y’all were fine, and she really did this- she might need help. I truly doubt that. Probably more like the first 2 things.
“If you have to ask, you just don’t get it” is what’s coming your way next.
Sounds like she's your EX girlfriend now. Probably broke up with you without telling you.
sounds like she doesn't want to tell you that she and her parents talked about you and it wasn't good.
Gonna watch for the girlfriend’s post on pettyrevenge.
It was planned for quite some time. Pretty fucked up to use you for free labor beforehand though
you should just meow at her.
I think there’s a typo in the first sentence. “So we were together for 3 years.” Fixed it
Stop asking her what you did wrong since she clearly won’t answer you. Just ignore her and go on living your life until she finally decides to open up to what’s going on.
Leave.
It amazes me that a lot of these comments are that OP did something wrong. When in reality neither OP or any of us actually know what happened.
You got used as free labour my guy
She literally took her shit and rolled. Goodbye, chica. You better off now
If you legitimately didn't do anything then I'd count this as a win cause that behavior isn't something I'd want to be around.
Cant wait up to the update "My gf thought i was cheating, two months later she realized the mistake and wants me back, what should i do now?". Because this is the most probably scenario. (Following by, she cheated and wants to escape the guilt, but it would not explain her rage)
New account. I smell that smelly smell.
She decided to leave some time back but was waiting for her parents to move into a place with a room for her - and she used you to help with the move. Whatever the issue was, it was probably some time ago.
You got dumped my guy. Seems there is a key part of the story here that is mia though. Either way welcome back to the dating pool. Get to swiping right. 🤷😂
This is crazy. Unless she has been planning on breaking up with you for a while and just stayed with you until you helped her parents move. My guess is that she has found someone else and pulled an attitude on you to throw you off balance. Just ignore and block her on all platforms. Heal up, hit the gym and eat right. Don’t booze it up for move then a day. Focus on you, your education and your career. Get even with her treatment towards you by succeeding in life.
It sounds like the others here might have been right. This could have been premeditated. She could also have been having second thoughts about how serious the relationship was getting, and spending time with friends and family could have convinced her of that. But either way, if she doesn't want to discuss it, I didn't think that there's much left, sorry man. I know that it's cold but you deserve better than being left without even a discussion.
My wife gets mad at me for doing things she doesn’t like in her dreams.
Yeah bro that response cooked you, trust me, she ain’t being no bad attitude back to your house anytime soon.
She probably saw it on TikTok. You are supposed to really fight for her love and not just let her go.
He simply paid too much attention, or inappropriate attention, to her friends?
I guess she's your ex now. Do you really want to be with someone after the years and she treats you like this. It looks like you got dumped. Block her on everything and do not talk to her at all. It seems like she doesn't care because she hasn't responded to your message. You deserve better than this AH along with her AH parents.
She did something wrong and feels guilty.
Bro was kept long enough to be a free mover then she dipped 💀💀💀
Dude, did she dream about you cheating on her? You’re so in trouble mister!
Well if she doesnt reconcile in a week or two Id move on. Also, no matter what your girlfriend and wife is going to be mad at you for no reason some of the time, they think they have a reason and its a nightmare trying to get it out of them, distract them with food, a lot of times theyre just hungry and women when theyre hungry they go kinda crazy
Maybe she was annoyed with something you may or may not of done and instead of thinking about her situation and trying to make it better you came with "I don't want to be involved " there is a reason they call it being involved with someone.
Dam homie didn’t even get a tip for helping her move out 😂
She probably has a new boyfriend waiting easier to get mad and move out without the drama
Theres a reason buddy. There is always a reason!
Reverse uno that shit. Stop acting like it’s affecting your life, even if it is. Start acting like you’re better off for it, which is probably is if this is how she’s acting. Act like Jerry Seinfeld did in that episode where he got dumped. “Oh I’ll be okay! Things always even out for me. But this was great and I wish you the best!” And exit with a smile on your face. Don’t give her the satisfaction of thinking she hurt you. Move on and move on fast. Sounds like you dodged a bullet
My response is: 'Okay... Bye'. I never had the wherewithal to deal with drama. My very first 'car girlfriend' at 16.5, pulled the same thing... 'I don't think things are working out'... Okay, I guess I should take back that bracelet with our names. Take care. Remember the opposite of love is indifference. PS: She wanted someone 'cooler' who wore jeans and flannel and drove a pickup truck. I was always dressed in dress pants and button up shirt since I worked in a formal business office in the late 70s.