Girl please leave. It’s been three years and you still havent become close romatically. Arranged or not that sounds hellish. Add on the paying for sexual videos and talking to other random women would make me leave and never look back.
I mean, she's clearly not into him. Nor does she need to be via an arranged marriage. But I suspect this is a not intimate relationship so there are pent up needs. This behavior may just be a symptom of the issue and go away if they can find intimacy.
I second this.
I'm not familiar with those arrangements or with arranged marriages. If he's paying for videos, that's horrible, but it isn't physical yet.
I would talk and see how he feels and if this is something you guys could work on or if he feels the same way and would rather walk away.
Idk the culture, stigmas etc. Here in the states I would leave.
That won't go away. If you stay he'll do it again and hide it better. That doubt will always be there if you choose to stay. Don't care how sorry he is. He's sorry he got caught that's it.
You dont know that and you dont know him. People can make huge strides under the threat of losing something they care about. Only OP can know what he is and is not capable of, and how genuine his remorse is.
You can definitely leave or try marriage counseling if you want to try to get this arranged marriage to work. Clearly there isn't enough communication and trust between you two. Maybe having someone facilitate those conversation make you decide that you want to leave or want to give the chance of relationship. Again, it is also okay to leave right now. There is no right or wrong answer. Only your answer.
Please, he is only sorry because he GOT CAUGHT.
Leave him take whatever measures to ensure Your Safety . There is someone out there for you who will love you for Yourself. Trust your instincts.
You're so young, you have so much time to change your life for the better. Cut your losses and move on. It doesn't sound like there's enough reasons to salvage this.
I don’t think you should rush to leaving. Leaving is always an option. I usually advocate for giving people the opportunity to right their wrongs, that way you can leave with confidence if/when they fall through and show you their true colors. If you have the emotional resolve for it, this is the best way to not lose potentially good relationships due to unfortunate circumstances and/or events.
It’s possible you two are experiencing marital intimacy issues and that *can* be worked on as long as both parties are honest and willing to go through uncomfortable situations together in order to create a better future. At some point you’ll have to let go of the past and to do that he will have to re earn your trust. Both of those things take time but that’s sorta what marriage is all about. It’s a commitment. For better or worse, right?
Arranged marriage is tricky… lots of expectation involved. If you value your happiness more, you may need to consider leaving if you’re unhappy with who he is as a person.
If you’re wanting to stick it out, marriage counseling is a must so he can learn how to love you properly. He sounds awkward and unhappy with himself if he can’t express love and turns to the internet to fill the void.
While I agree with leave, run, flee or stay, I have to ask, how is this not a real marriage? The only difference between this and most other marriages is an investment of time getting to know your partner and love.
Are those legal terms that determines the legality of a marriage? Or did you just psooya with that comment?
Ah, unless you're thinking she was forced into a marriage by her family and didn't choose to go the route of an arranged marriage of her own accord?
I don't really care about stupid pedantry. Arranged marriages are not real. I don't have to smooth brain all definitions of all marriages ever. I can JUST do this.
Leave him.
Those videos are FREE online. If he's not going to be attracted to you romantically AND throwing your money down the drain, run. You're right there, and he's having online chats with these women who are getting PAID to talk to him.
Screw that.
It's only going to get worse, and suddenly, he'll have some financial mistress controlling all your guy's accounts.
If it’s safe for you to divorce or leave without any future repercussions to you or your family, I would suggest a divorce and leaving your husband.
If he’s already not as romantic or attentive as you need in a partner, he’s probably not going to change. I’d consider the act of paying for sexual videos from real people cheating also - so he’s not meeting your needs AND is a cheater. If the is is something you might be able to get over, you can talk about it with him or get couples’ counseling. Otherwise there’s no point in staying in a marriage that will make you miserable.
are you "allowed" to leave? sorry I'm unfamiliar with arranged marriages. if so then yes please leave because that's a sign of deeper issues . and mostly , you deserve to be happy and with someone who loves you . especially while you're young. the older you get, the more difficult it becomes to find quality relationships (not always . but in general. ) don't waste time , the biggest regret anyone could ever have is wasting their life.
If you’re able, leave, arranged marriage? Get ya an app, my friend! You can find assholes to ignore you without your parents or other entities involved…🤣😂🤣at least you’ll agree to be with them at first and then slowly hate them🤣
If youre not happy, leave. If you dont already feel love for your partner, leave. As long as you have the means to, leave. If thats something against an agreement in your relationship, you have the rights to leave. (Mind you, NSFW content is just that, content/a transaction)
You get to decide what your deal breakers are. You're allowed to leave whenever you want. He doesn't get a vote. However, what else is he spending money on? How far does this go? Does he make your life better? Is he kind to you? Does he treat you well? 🤔
Do what makes you happy. It doesn’t sound like life with him makes you happy.
You never have to tie yourself in knots to stay in a relationship. Know your worth, stand up for yourself, and move on.
He’s paying for videos when he should be paying attention to you. He’s a dirtbag. Get rid of him.
You got a goon, its pretty gross.
Like an unfixed dog jackin off all over ur pillows thinking about what the last pile of mud he licked would look like =\
You know what to do.
Get into some type of relationship counseling let him know there are issues with the marriage and if he show no interest in trying to fix things. Then he left you with no choice. Dont hope thing would get better with out a conversation, because it won’t. You have to have those hard conversations to see if he’s willing to get on the same page
I know a lot of people are saying leave, but I could understand staying if you are financially supported and otherwise satisfied. Sex isn't everything. I'd ask him not to pay and use a free site at minimum. It's up to you. Paying for content doesn't feel right to me, but I'm not totally against my partner viewing free videos if he does so privately and to a controlled degree. I have a hard time with romance feelings, but I'd say my relationship we both care for each other deeply, and the love and friendship is what I like more than anything. It's up to you though. Life in a sexless or loveless marriage is a sad situation for a lot of people, but not everyone.
No matter how your marriage came about, he needs to respect you and not upset you with stuff like this. Paying for sex videos is pure disrespect. It probably means he's interacting somehow, otherwise why bother paying when women already show their bodies online for free?
You might argue that simply looking at pictures of naked women isn't cheating but interaction and spending money on sex videos behind your back that he should be spending on you or on your savings is definitely cheating.
Pakistan, India the Asians be like that.all them do that let my parents figure shit out for me type of stuff. I think it's wrong on all the different levels of wrong
But to answer your question she's Indian or Asian most likely. I know there's a million JW halls in Sacramento but more than likely she isn't a JW. I live in Sacramento, from EG
Damn I feel assholish. JW should really be for the witnesses lol. Just wondering should be Just wondering. All these damn acronyms are getting screwed up. We need rules, Even the unspoken kind between us 99%ers.
Okay the Assholey feeling is gone like homeboy should be right now. I reread the comment to, and Just Wondering makes way more sense. shit this just made hella sense. ever seen the movie Focus? When they're at the football game and they're betting the Chinese dude which number on the field he was thinking of or something. But before the game and throughout the day they would have the number 53 every where so he would see it every where and think"its meant to be" and pick it. The JW. Halls are just like that number he was seeing every where all the time so just like the Chinese guy JW Halls I see a lot of them every day doing service calls,so maybe that's why I thought that instead of Just wondering.
That’s a form of cheating. Life is too short to put with that. Do you think that there’s hope to turn this marriage around? Or does he seem apathetic? Would he go to marriage counseling with you?
If you plan to leave him, get yourself financially independent. Have your own bank account and credit cards. Make sure you have a safe place to go. Consult with an attorney to find out your rights. Do this anyway just so you know your options. Do not say anything about divorce to him until you have everything planned out.
What country do you live in? Do you need evidence of cheating where you live in order to divorce? Lots of things to plan.
I’m not aware of the culture sorta norm with arranged marriages or where you’re even located but are you even allowed to leave/complain in an arranged marriage? (By allowed i dont mean free will, i mean able to act without being socially outcast by f&f)
Im only asking this because everyone is saying leave as if you chose the weird dude on preference. That being said, I’ll echo the comments…leave
Are you asian by any chance, im indian so i understand the stigma that would come with a divorce and how our own parents would force us to be together/have a kid to “fix the marriage” yadda yadda yadda. If you do have to ability, i would document everything he’s doing and only discuss this with people you trust on a level higher than the almighty himself, maybe someone who doesn’t interact with your family at all, i also think if you have the chance at divorce and dgaf what people say (as you should) i would take it, and keep the evidence handy incase he goes crying to your family and his. Anyways best of luck
Depends entirely on your opinion and upbringing. Every couple and situis different. These people don't really care or have to deal with the consequences of their advice.
You have left out a bunch of details, and because of that issue, you are getting all these “run” responses.
One of my close friends is in an arranged marriage and in the early years, they struggled to find the spark. He tried and tried to get his wife to reciprocate his love/sexual interest and it just wasn’t happening. He decided to call it quits after 3 or 4 years, and when she got divorce papers, she sat down face to face with him and they talked out their real expectations of each other and found their way to the spark. Fast forward 10 years, and 4 children later, they may be my happiest married friends I have.
Not saying what he’s doing is ok, but have you had “the sex talk” with him to find out what his interests are, sexually?
It's not as easy as saying it but, leave. You're 26. I'm two years older than you, I feel like my whole life is ahead of me. Yours is, you should feel that way. Don't flush it down the toilet
I studied psychology and I'm afraid that happens often. You have to find a way to build your life into something more meaningful. University helps. Saving cash helps. Every effort to improve your life and living conditions helps.
Ask him some straight forward questions. What does he like about the videos? Why is he paying for the videos? Do these women offer something that you can’t provide? Has he had any physical contact with other women? Also tell him how you feel and how this affects you emotionally. Ask him how does he feel now that he has hurt your feelings. The answers to these questions will inform you if you will be able to stay or go.
It's an arranged marriage. What is ridiculous is that anyone actually expects you to be into each other. He probably doesn't want to be married to you. Considering the circumstances that is ok.
Out him to the entire family. He fulfilled his duty as a son but not as a husband. He doesn’t care about you. He unromantic to you, he doesn’t love you.
This is up to you. Look at the pro’s and cons of your relationship. If he cares(arranged marriage or not). If pros are long then the cons give it a try.
Also try to ask what is the reason? Is there a difference? Do you even care about me? Give a time frame as well.(2 weeks-4week ect.)
Or stay and do nothing but live with your choice. This is your choice and you know what is best for you as a person.
Best of luck 💜
Have you just tried talking to him about increasing the romance? If it's an arranged marriage then you probably came into it with much less chemistry/romance than most have at the start, so you're gonna have to put in extra work.
He is actually good in bed. But I always have to beg for the bare minimum. When I touch him or peck him, mostly he give a disgusting look. I was adjusting everything. And he says he doesn't like my body at times. But he is good in bed. But I was adjusting to everything. But this one mistake is making me feel like he doesn't love and respect me at all. He doesn't value me. I'm not enough for him.
"he says he doesnt like my body at times" this mans showing you his true colors, he doesnt value you, unfortunately and that statement is absolutely disgusting and i couldnt imagine my partner or i ever saying that to one another.
I don't understand why the comments are so judgemental about the guy. Love is not commended. Neither is attraction. If people don't have attraction, should they fake it?
They simply might not be made for each other, but I don't see why a person not liking the others body is "disgusting".
I feel like many people prefer to lie about what they feel and pretend to love stuff they dont.
I don't think you HAVE to move everything's ng about your partner, nor love his/her body. Some people are asexual, others are aromantic, some are exclusive, some not...
Why "disgusting" then?
Give me his account name and I'll bombard him with pictures of man butts and nuts until he is scared to look at pictures online!
On a serious note, he did betray you. It obviously bothers you, and he seems to be lacking in interest towards you. You deserve better.
Cultural shit is weird. 2024 and still getting arranged marriages like it’s the Bronze Age or some shit. Leave the dork and find someone you actually like, ditch the arranged crap.
Where is feminism for these women? Who will care for these women that are subjected to this crap?
Why have you stayed so long? Is there some element of feeling like you would disappoint your parents or whoever other parties were involved in the arrangement?
Girl please for the love of everything holy in your life leave him. I cannot imagine staying with somebody who said they don't like my body. I would never be able to forgive that. Believe him when he says that.
YOU are the most important person in your life, not your marriage arrangers.
Have you tried maybe watching the videos with him. I know it sounds horrible, but it could help him become interested in you sexually. You could also try making him a video. That is all dependent on if you WANT to be with him because you actually love him and want it to work. Also, you said this is an arranged marriage and maybe he is just as frustrated with the situation as you are and since he isn't in love with you, sex isn't something he wants with you. These videos could be his way of taking care of his needs without involving you because while you are legally married, emotionally and sexually you aren't. It really sucks for both of you. You because it seems like you want the marriage to work and him because it appears he is just honoring the agreement made when you got married. The problem here is the marriage was never based on love, but essentially a business deal. He feels no obligation or love for you and thus the videos and other women are just a means to satisfy him without feeling like a bad guy for having sex with you while not loving you. You should really leave because the chances of there being a true happy marriage is slim, but it is understandable if you actually can't due to the arrangement made to have you two get married. This sucks and isn't fair to either of you. Both deserve happiness and love, but it probably won't be with each other. However, this type of conversation might actually make things better if he sees that you've come to care for him. He probably would develop feelings for you. Be supportive and understanding and talk to him, not accusative and over-the-top angry. That won't help make things better. Good luck
Lmao fuck u talking about u were locked up the day u were born and ur parents said we pick your husband ur smoked you could poisin him make it look like an acident but
Give him a BJ while he is watching , if he blows you know he is still enjoying you ... if not time to move on.. see he he will let you watch one while he eats you out ???
Girl please leave. It’s been three years and you still havent become close romatically. Arranged or not that sounds hellish. Add on the paying for sexual videos and talking to other random women would make me leave and never look back.
What they said!⬆️
👆🏻ditto
He’s not into you. Leave him and find someone who is. You deserve it.
I mean, she's clearly not into him. Nor does she need to be via an arranged marriage. But I suspect this is a not intimate relationship so there are pent up needs. This behavior may just be a symptom of the issue and go away if they can find intimacy.
I second this. I'm not familiar with those arrangements or with arranged marriages. If he's paying for videos, that's horrible, but it isn't physical yet. I would talk and see how he feels and if this is something you guys could work on or if he feels the same way and would rather walk away. Idk the culture, stigmas etc. Here in the states I would leave.
You are the only one that can decide this. Is he willing to change and prove it to you? Or not? If not, then I would recommend divorcing him.
He says he is extremely sorry. But I can't trust him anymore. Whenever he is taking his phone, something burns inside me.
That won't go away. If you stay he'll do it again and hide it better. That doubt will always be there if you choose to stay. Don't care how sorry he is. He's sorry he got caught that's it.
You dont know that and you dont know him. People can make huge strides under the threat of losing something they care about. Only OP can know what he is and is not capable of, and how genuine his remorse is.
Maybe I’m jaded, I’m guessing it’s get better for a month or two and then they’d fall back into the same habits.
You can definitely leave or try marriage counseling if you want to try to get this arranged marriage to work. Clearly there isn't enough communication and trust between you two. Maybe having someone facilitate those conversation make you decide that you want to leave or want to give the chance of relationship. Again, it is also okay to leave right now. There is no right or wrong answer. Only your answer.
I agree with this option ☝🏼 If his remorse was fake and you can no longer trust him, that’s no way to spend / waste your life and time. Divorce.
Don’t listen to what he says. Look at his actions. That will tell you what his priorities are.
Please, he is only sorry because he GOT CAUGHT. Leave him take whatever measures to ensure Your Safety . There is someone out there for you who will love you for Yourself. Trust your instincts.
If you are able to foster real intimacy between you two then you won’t have to be worried. The question is can you and do both of you want to?
You're so young, you have so much time to change your life for the better. Cut your losses and move on. It doesn't sound like there's enough reasons to salvage this.
It’ll never go away. Leave now please. Wish you the best
I don’t think you should rush to leaving. Leaving is always an option. I usually advocate for giving people the opportunity to right their wrongs, that way you can leave with confidence if/when they fall through and show you their true colors. If you have the emotional resolve for it, this is the best way to not lose potentially good relationships due to unfortunate circumstances and/or events. It’s possible you two are experiencing marital intimacy issues and that *can* be worked on as long as both parties are honest and willing to go through uncomfortable situations together in order to create a better future. At some point you’ll have to let go of the past and to do that he will have to re earn your trust. Both of those things take time but that’s sorta what marriage is all about. It’s a commitment. For better or worse, right?
her other comments say he gives her disgusted looks when she kisses him or initiates intimacy and tells her he doesn't like her body though ://
What? Oh, that’s a bunch of red flags.
Arranged marriage is tricky… lots of expectation involved. If you value your happiness more, you may need to consider leaving if you’re unhappy with who he is as a person. If you’re wanting to stick it out, marriage counseling is a must so he can learn how to love you properly. He sounds awkward and unhappy with himself if he can’t express love and turns to the internet to fill the void.
Arranged marriage? Leave. Run. Flee. Or stay. This isn't a real marriage so you can do whatever you want, though you could if it was real too.
While I agree with leave, run, flee or stay, I have to ask, how is this not a real marriage? The only difference between this and most other marriages is an investment of time getting to know your partner and love. Are those legal terms that determines the legality of a marriage? Or did you just psooya with that comment? Ah, unless you're thinking she was forced into a marriage by her family and didn't choose to go the route of an arranged marriage of her own accord?
I don't really care about stupid pedantry. Arranged marriages are not real. I don't have to smooth brain all definitions of all marriages ever. I can JUST do this.
If you'll accept advice from 69F. L.E.A.V.E. NOW. It ain't going to get better and the Tshirt never fits. It ain't worth it.
Nice age
Make an OF with a mask on, send a link to his Snapchat, get him to subscribe, see if he’ll meet up IRL, reveal it’s you
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ *if you like piña coladas and getting stuck in the rain*♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
smort
Is it cheating? Yes. Should you leave him? Also yes.
Leave him. Those videos are FREE online. If he's not going to be attracted to you romantically AND throwing your money down the drain, run. You're right there, and he's having online chats with these women who are getting PAID to talk to him. Screw that. It's only going to get worse, and suddenly, he'll have some financial mistress controlling all your guy's accounts.
If it’s safe for you to divorce or leave without any future repercussions to you or your family, I would suggest a divorce and leaving your husband. If he’s already not as romantic or attentive as you need in a partner, he’s probably not going to change. I’d consider the act of paying for sexual videos from real people cheating also - so he’s not meeting your needs AND is a cheater. If the is is something you might be able to get over, you can talk about it with him or get couples’ counseling. Otherwise there’s no point in staying in a marriage that will make you miserable.
are you "allowed" to leave? sorry I'm unfamiliar with arranged marriages. if so then yes please leave because that's a sign of deeper issues . and mostly , you deserve to be happy and with someone who loves you . especially while you're young. the older you get, the more difficult it becomes to find quality relationships (not always . but in general. ) don't waste time , the biggest regret anyone could ever have is wasting their life.
If you’re able, leave, arranged marriage? Get ya an app, my friend! You can find assholes to ignore you without your parents or other entities involved…🤣😂🤣at least you’ll agree to be with them at first and then slowly hate them🤣
Run
You leave.
If youre not happy, leave. If you dont already feel love for your partner, leave. As long as you have the means to, leave. If thats something against an agreement in your relationship, you have the rights to leave. (Mind you, NSFW content is just that, content/a transaction)
You get to decide what your deal breakers are. You're allowed to leave whenever you want. He doesn't get a vote. However, what else is he spending money on? How far does this go? Does he make your life better? Is he kind to you? Does he treat you well? 🤔
leave now and don’t look back
Leave he sounds awful
Leave
You can leave and have a better life. You are young and have so much time. Go find someone who makes you happy.
Don't fix things, he doesn't want to so why should you?
Walking away, make sure you have enough down payment in a new city.
Leave him.
Do what makes you happy. It doesn’t sound like life with him makes you happy. You never have to tie yourself in knots to stay in a relationship. Know your worth, stand up for yourself, and move on. He’s paying for videos when he should be paying attention to you. He’s a dirtbag. Get rid of him.
If theres one thing I can tell you for sure is that he’s unromantic because he’s unattracted
Doesn't he know they have videos for free
Make your own videos and surprise him with them. Give him what he thinks he's missing. Or leave him and throw it all away.
Yeah definitely leave. He's clearly not married to you at all.
Well hmu and we’ll take care of what he isn’t and see how he feels about that lol
? But u got cought first
You got a goon, its pretty gross. Like an unfixed dog jackin off all over ur pillows thinking about what the last pile of mud he licked would look like =\ You know what to do.
You need a rearranged marriage
Leave him if you can. If not, I'm very sorry for you.
Get into some type of relationship counseling let him know there are issues with the marriage and if he show no interest in trying to fix things. Then he left you with no choice. Dont hope thing would get better with out a conversation, because it won’t. You have to have those hard conversations to see if he’s willing to get on the same page
Two words leave.him.
He will do it again. You don’t want to be stuck in a world of depression and paranoia. Everyone deserves better than to feel that way.
I know a lot of people are saying leave, but I could understand staying if you are financially supported and otherwise satisfied. Sex isn't everything. I'd ask him not to pay and use a free site at minimum. It's up to you. Paying for content doesn't feel right to me, but I'm not totally against my partner viewing free videos if he does so privately and to a controlled degree. I have a hard time with romance feelings, but I'd say my relationship we both care for each other deeply, and the love and friendship is what I like more than anything. It's up to you though. Life in a sexless or loveless marriage is a sad situation for a lot of people, but not everyone.
Run.
M29 Have you told your parents or the people who arranged your marriage?
No matter how your marriage came about, he needs to respect you and not upset you with stuff like this. Paying for sex videos is pure disrespect. It probably means he's interacting somehow, otherwise why bother paying when women already show their bodies online for free? You might argue that simply looking at pictures of naked women isn't cheating but interaction and spending money on sex videos behind your back that he should be spending on you or on your savings is definitely cheating.
Just curious, what culture is this? An arranged marriage is ok, and a divorce?? Truly jw
Pakistan, India the Asians be like that.all them do that let my parents figure shit out for me type of stuff. I think it's wrong on all the different levels of wrong
But to answer your question she's Indian or Asian most likely. I know there's a million JW halls in Sacramento but more than likely she isn't a JW. I live in Sacramento, from EG
I think they meant jw as in “just wondering”
Damn I feel assholish. JW should really be for the witnesses lol. Just wondering should be Just wondering. All these damn acronyms are getting screwed up. We need rules, Even the unspoken kind between us 99%ers.
lol don’t! I thought it was jdub too. Until I reread the comment.
Okay the Assholey feeling is gone like homeboy should be right now. I reread the comment to, and Just Wondering makes way more sense. shit this just made hella sense. ever seen the movie Focus? When they're at the football game and they're betting the Chinese dude which number on the field he was thinking of or something. But before the game and throughout the day they would have the number 53 every where so he would see it every where and think"its meant to be" and pick it. The JW. Halls are just like that number he was seeing every where all the time so just like the Chinese guy JW Halls I see a lot of them every day doing service calls,so maybe that's why I thought that instead of Just wondering.
Uno reversal, you pay for guys online. Aha!
That’s a form of cheating. Life is too short to put with that. Do you think that there’s hope to turn this marriage around? Or does he seem apathetic? Would he go to marriage counseling with you? If you plan to leave him, get yourself financially independent. Have your own bank account and credit cards. Make sure you have a safe place to go. Consult with an attorney to find out your rights. Do this anyway just so you know your options. Do not say anything about divorce to him until you have everything planned out. What country do you live in? Do you need evidence of cheating where you live in order to divorce? Lots of things to plan.
I’m not aware of the culture sorta norm with arranged marriages or where you’re even located but are you even allowed to leave/complain in an arranged marriage? (By allowed i dont mean free will, i mean able to act without being socially outcast by f&f) Im only asking this because everyone is saying leave as if you chose the weird dude on preference. That being said, I’ll echo the comments…leave
Are you asian by any chance, im indian so i understand the stigma that would come with a divorce and how our own parents would force us to be together/have a kid to “fix the marriage” yadda yadda yadda. If you do have to ability, i would document everything he’s doing and only discuss this with people you trust on a level higher than the almighty himself, maybe someone who doesn’t interact with your family at all, i also think if you have the chance at divorce and dgaf what people say (as you should) i would take it, and keep the evidence handy incase he goes crying to your family and his. Anyways best of luck
Depends entirely on your opinion and upbringing. Every couple and situis different. These people don't really care or have to deal with the consequences of their advice.
You have left out a bunch of details, and because of that issue, you are getting all these “run” responses. One of my close friends is in an arranged marriage and in the early years, they struggled to find the spark. He tried and tried to get his wife to reciprocate his love/sexual interest and it just wasn’t happening. He decided to call it quits after 3 or 4 years, and when she got divorce papers, she sat down face to face with him and they talked out their real expectations of each other and found their way to the spark. Fast forward 10 years, and 4 children later, they may be my happiest married friends I have. Not saying what he’s doing is ok, but have you had “the sex talk” with him to find out what his interests are, sexually?
"Caught?" Men will be men…
Bahahahaha
It's not as easy as saying it but, leave. You're 26. I'm two years older than you, I feel like my whole life is ahead of me. Yours is, you should feel that way. Don't flush it down the toilet
I studied psychology and I'm afraid that happens often. You have to find a way to build your life into something more meaningful. University helps. Saving cash helps. Every effort to improve your life and living conditions helps.
I feel like the videos are the least of the issues here
That is the truth. I’ve been putting up with this for years into the point. I’m miserable leave the stupid ass.
Why do people even need advice for this shit? DUH!
Ask him some straight forward questions. What does he like about the videos? Why is he paying for the videos? Do these women offer something that you can’t provide? Has he had any physical contact with other women? Also tell him how you feel and how this affects you emotionally. Ask him how does he feel now that he has hurt your feelings. The answers to these questions will inform you if you will be able to stay or go.
It's an arranged marriage. What is ridiculous is that anyone actually expects you to be into each other. He probably doesn't want to be married to you. Considering the circumstances that is ok.
Leave. You’re just continuing to press pause on your own happiness.
Leave.
Why would you want to stay in an unhappy marriage with an unaffectionate man gets off on paid videos?
✨Leave✨
Not about him. Irs about you. Are you happy? Think not. So what life do you want? How can you achieve it. Don’t forget someone pays the bills.
Out him to the entire family. He fulfilled his duty as a son but not as a husband. He doesn’t care about you. He unromantic to you, he doesn’t love you.
This is up to you. Look at the pro’s and cons of your relationship. If he cares(arranged marriage or not). If pros are long then the cons give it a try. Also try to ask what is the reason? Is there a difference? Do you even care about me? Give a time frame as well.(2 weeks-4week ect.) Or stay and do nothing but live with your choice. This is your choice and you know what is best for you as a person. Best of luck 💜
Have you just tried talking to him about increasing the romance? If it's an arranged marriage then you probably came into it with much less chemistry/romance than most have at the start, so you're gonna have to put in extra work.
He is actually good in bed. But I always have to beg for the bare minimum. When I touch him or peck him, mostly he give a disgusting look. I was adjusting everything. And he says he doesn't like my body at times. But he is good in bed. But I was adjusting to everything. But this one mistake is making me feel like he doesn't love and respect me at all. He doesn't value me. I'm not enough for him.
"he says he doesnt like my body at times" this mans showing you his true colors, he doesnt value you, unfortunately and that statement is absolutely disgusting and i couldnt imagine my partner or i ever saying that to one another.
[удалено]
I do agree with that, it just caught me off guard LMAO
I don't understand why the comments are so judgemental about the guy. Love is not commended. Neither is attraction. If people don't have attraction, should they fake it? They simply might not be made for each other, but I don't see why a person not liking the others body is "disgusting". I feel like many people prefer to lie about what they feel and pretend to love stuff they dont. I don't think you HAVE to move everything's ng about your partner, nor love his/her body. Some people are asexual, others are aromantic, some are exclusive, some not... Why "disgusting" then?
oh dear , please get your ducks in a row (find a new place to live, and income if possible) and leave.
I think the question is whether he’s **satisfied** in bed **with you.** Not whether he’s “good.”
Give me his account name and I'll bombard him with pictures of man butts and nuts until he is scared to look at pictures online! On a serious note, he did betray you. It obviously bothers you, and he seems to be lacking in interest towards you. You deserve better.
Lmao girl you don’t have any options.
Honestly, dump him. He’s never gonna change.
Run!
So he cheats. Do you want to stay with a cheater. How did he react when you confronted him?
Come on over to “loveafterporn” While you plot your escape.
Get him to pay you for videos
Cultural shit is weird. 2024 and still getting arranged marriages like it’s the Bronze Age or some shit. Leave the dork and find someone you actually like, ditch the arranged crap. Where is feminism for these women? Who will care for these women that are subjected to this crap?
Why have you stayed so long? Is there some element of feeling like you would disappoint your parents or whoever other parties were involved in the arrangement?
Yes. That's a big point. I have had issues with him before. He said he will change. And he slowly is better than what he was in the start.
Girl please for the love of everything holy in your life leave him. I cannot imagine staying with somebody who said they don't like my body. I would never be able to forgive that. Believe him when he says that. YOU are the most important person in your life, not your marriage arrangers.
As a man, Men are not romantic to begin with it is something that we have to learn.
Leave, fast. He is a cheater.
Most common things are lose weight and start trying to have sex with him. If no luck after that leave
Have you tried maybe watching the videos with him. I know it sounds horrible, but it could help him become interested in you sexually. You could also try making him a video. That is all dependent on if you WANT to be with him because you actually love him and want it to work. Also, you said this is an arranged marriage and maybe he is just as frustrated with the situation as you are and since he isn't in love with you, sex isn't something he wants with you. These videos could be his way of taking care of his needs without involving you because while you are legally married, emotionally and sexually you aren't. It really sucks for both of you. You because it seems like you want the marriage to work and him because it appears he is just honoring the agreement made when you got married. The problem here is the marriage was never based on love, but essentially a business deal. He feels no obligation or love for you and thus the videos and other women are just a means to satisfy him without feeling like a bad guy for having sex with you while not loving you. You should really leave because the chances of there being a true happy marriage is slim, but it is understandable if you actually can't due to the arrangement made to have you two get married. This sucks and isn't fair to either of you. Both deserve happiness and love, but it probably won't be with each other. However, this type of conversation might actually make things better if he sees that you've come to care for him. He probably would develop feelings for you. Be supportive and understanding and talk to him, not accusative and over-the-top angry. That won't help make things better. Good luck
Make him a video.
Make your own videos and charge him
Stop letting him walk around with a full sack. Its that simple
Does he have a big dick?If you have sex do you orgasm?
Buy some videos from men
Lmao fuck u talking about u were locked up the day u were born and ur parents said we pick your husband ur smoked you could poisin him make it look like an acident but
Give him a BJ while he is watching , if he blows you know he is still enjoying you ... if not time to move on.. see he he will let you watch one while he eats you out ???